Don't Make Me Go (2022) - full transcript

WALLY: You're not gonna like
the way this story ends.

But I think you're gonna like this story.

("Riot" by Hugh Masekela playing)

(squawking)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

What is wrong with you?!

You brought us to a freaking nude beach?!

- I didn't know it was a nude beach.
- Jesus!

- I just GPS'd the nearest one.
- Oh, no.

I-I actually needed to be further scarred
by this day.



Listen, you can't tell anyone
I brought you here.

- All right? Okay?
- I would die

before I tell anyone about this. (gasps)

(Wally gags)

(gasps) Dad!

♪ ♪

(song fades)

(spits)

(water running)

TESSA (over speaker):
Hi, guys. It's Tessa.

And I'm back with another makeup tutorial.

I realized I had never done one
that just focuses on highlighter.

Which is crazy.

I've done way too many of these.



Um, so as you can tell,
I've already done most of my makeup,

and I pulled my hair back...

(knock on door)

Hey.

You want me to drop you
on the way to work,

- you got to be ready on time.
- Three minutes.

What's happening here? What...

Fortune favors the contoured.

Okay, I have no idea what that means.

- Two minutes.
- (knocks)

Let's go, Wally!

♪ ♪

You should've gone.

- It was red.
- Barely.

Not a way to convince me
to let you get your license.

Hey, I, uh, I think I can get out of work
a few hours early today.

I thought maybe we could get in

some father-daughter beach time
this afternoon.

We have a soccer game.

Since when do you play soccer?

- We're watching some friends.
- By "friends,"

do you mean Glenn?

Maybe.

Green means go, Dad.

Not sure what it meant
when you bought the car.

I know you think I should have a Tesla
like your rich friends' parents,

but Jerry still runs great.

Hey, Dad, what's Jerry's last name?

- Don't make fun of me.
- Atric.

- Don't you dare.
- Jerry Atric.

(Wally chuckles)

Ha, ha, ha.

Glad I'm not the only hungover one.

Just one of my headaches.

Yeah, well, selling insurance
gives everyone a headache.

(sighs)

GUY (recorded):
Maxwell, it's Guy.

I'm not seeing you listed on
this tacky reunion RSVP page.

You coming to the shit show or not?

Call me back.

(groans)

(sighs)

(phone chimes)

(indistinct playful chatter)

(camera clicks)

(camera clicks)

(camera clicks)

What?

He's stuck at Jewish summer camp.

I'm just being a good girlfriend.

I said nothing.

You and Glenn have never traded?

We're not even official.

Oh. Maybe if you'd slip him a nip pic
once in a while, you would be.

- (players grunting, groaning)
- (Sandra inhales sharply)

Ooh.

Looks like he twisted a testicle.

GLENN:
Let's go. Come on.

(sighs)

Is this our cue to get Froyo?

Hey, i-is Damian okay?

He claims he sprained his ankle.

He's just being dramatic.

- Well, that sucks.
- Yeah, that-that sucks.

One of you two want to be goalie
so we can finish?

Wally?

(chuckles)
No, no.

You-you do not want me to do it.

I will let every ball by,
and you will lose,

and you will regret it
for, like, ever. (chuckles)

I'll make it worth your while.

♪ Sugar in my hair ♪

- (exhales heavily)
- ♪ Melting everywhere ♪

- (playful chatter)
- ♪ In the sunshine ♪

BOY:
There you go!

♪ Watch the sun go down ♪

♪ While my face starts to crystallize ♪

♪ You could be the one,
you could be the one ♪

♪ Who'll make me feel all right ♪

(boys cheering)

♪ Take me anywhere, take me anywhere ♪

♪ I wanna be your guy... ♪

Knew I wouldn't regret it.

♪ I can't go through ♪

♪ Without you ♪

♪ It's holding me back ♪

♪ It's all I could do ♪

♪ Glazin' for you. ♪

(song ends)

SANDRA:
Wally? Wally?

- What is your name?
- You just said it.

(stammers):
Can she even hear me?

- Wally.
- Okay.

Full name?

Wallis Diana Park.

Yeah, you're good.

You okay? What happened?

That was crazy.

Yeah, I-I think I'm just dehydrated.

Well, you won us the game.
We should celebrate.

Do you want to come over tonight?

My parents are gone.
The guys are coming to chill.

(sighs)
Yeah, definitely.

See you then.

Can I just say, he kissed you
and you literally fainted.

Shut up.

Mm-hmm.

Look, there's no way
my dad will let me go.

What if I just sleep over at yours
and we both go?

Mm, I'm gonna be at my cousin's.

But I can drive you if you want.

And you can tell your dad
you're sleeping over.

Stop.

(laughs):
Stop.

- (P.A. beeps)
- (indistinct announcement)

(sighs)

(phone vibrates)

(machine whirring and rattling)

(electrical humming)

AUTOMATED VOICE:
Begin.

GLENN:
I feel bad.

You told me you were good at this game.

Look at these moves, man.

You can't keep up. You can't keep up.

Here it comes.

Here comes the Mega...
Dude, you're not even trying.

ZAC:
Dude, how about when I want your opinion,

I'll take my dick out of your mouth
and ask for it.

I said that to your mom last night.

Dude, "your mom" jokes have been over
for, like, a decade.

- "Your mom" jokes are timeless.
- Well, what if my mom was dead?

GLENN:
Then dead chicks give good head.

- (Zac groans)
- Ooh!

(laughs mockingly)

GAME ANNOUNCER:
Swamp Thing wins.

GLENN:
You suck, man. Suck.

Whatever. You're funnier.

Thanks, babe.

- (kissing)
- ("J's" playing)

Hey, you.

Hi.

Are you bored?

No, no.

I'm-I'm good.

(chuckles softly)

Um, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom.

♪ Yes, we got a spaceship
and we're riding smooth ♪

♪ Everywhere I go, baby,
I can't take you ♪

♪ Then she call my phone up ♪

♪ But Shush ain't coming through ♪

♪ I like the photo, but I can't be a... ♪

(music and chatter continues in distance)

(music and chatter continues in distance)

GLENN:
Hey.

What you doing in my room?

(scoffs) Um, I'm sorry.

I-I didn't mean to, like... I wasn't...

No, no. Sorry, it's boring out there.

It's fine.

(panting softly)

You have nice boobs.

Thanks.

I have condoms.

Um, I don't...

I don't think we should...

Glenn.

- Trust me.
- Glenn, stop.

- What's wrong, babe?
- (sighs)

You're really drunk.

Okay.

Um...

I think I'm gonna go.

Really?

It's late.

(sighs)

All right, I'll drive you.

I'll-I'll get a ride.

I can call you an Uber.

My dad doesn't let me
get in cars with strangers.

Your dad kind of sucks.

(moaning)

This is way better
than grading French Lit papers.

You think?

(both laugh)

(moaning)

ANNIE: You know what would really
tip things in your favor?

If you brought me some wine.

Sure.

- It's in the kitchen?
- No, it's down the street.

I don't actually feel like
drinking any right now.

I'm just out, and I'm too lazy
to go pick some up.

You want me to go out
and buy you a bottle of wine?

- Yeah, a couple bottles.
- (chuckles): Okay.

Cabernet?

And risk staining these pearly whites?

I don't think so. Chardonnay all the way.

(laughs)

When I was a kid, I thought pearly whites
were the same thing as pearly gates.

Like you died
and there were these giant gates

made of teeth up in the clouds.

Oh.

(chuckles)

(speaking French):
sometimes you are lovely

What does that mean?

That means... (sighs)

"I'm not gonna get any wine, am I?"

- Definitely not.
- Mm.

- I can't believe I dropped trou for you.
- Mm.

(phone vibrating)

Another woman?

You're not getting attached,
are you, Annie?

You're in my phone as "Booty Call Max."

(chuckles)

Hello.

Hey, Tami, what's up?

- What happened? Are you okay?
- No, yeah.

I'm-I'm fine. It's just...

Glenn and his friends were bro-ing out.

Uh, I'm sorry I called.

I-I tried Sandra first,
but she wasn't picking up and...

No, no, she-she's at my sister's.

I promise I wasn't doing anything.

I was... What was I doing? Doing my nails.

Well, thank you.

(laughs):
It's fine.

Come on.

You're probably gonna hate me,
but I called your dad.

And he wants me to take you home.

You called him?

Hey, I'm sorry.

It's a parent thing.

It makes you feel any better,

Sandra is gonna be livid at me
for ratting you out.

Were you drinking?

- Do you want to Breathalyze me?
- Hey, drop the tone.

Why'd you lie to me? Wally?
Why'd you lie to me?

- I didn't think you'd let me go.
- Yeah, that's right.

If you would've said,
"I'm going to Glenn's house

and his parents aren't gonna be there and
he's gonna be having a party," I would...

It wasn't a party, Dad.

It was just a couple of Glenn's friends.

He's just not a good influence.

You never did things like this
before you started seeing him.

Don't I get any credit for calling Tami

instead of letting someone drunk
drive me home?

- I thought you weren't drinking.
- I wasn't!

But the teenage boys you were with were?

- You're making this worse.
- That's why I left, Dad.

I didn't want to be there.

But, I guess, next time,
I won't try and do the responsible thing.

Okay.

I'm not gonna say
you can't see Glenn anymore.

But you're grounded.

Three weeks.

That's the rest of summer break.

If you hadn't called Tami,
it would've been more.

I wish you'd called me.

(door slams)

DR. WOOD:
It's called a chordoma.

It's a bone tumor
at the base of the skull.

Slow-growing but malignant.

Probably been there for years.

Jesus.

I am sorry, Max.

Um...

I'm gonna stand. Can I?

(whispers):
Yeah.

Actually, I think I'm gonna...

I'm gonna sit.

Uh, so what do we do?

The only effective treatment is surgery
followed by radiation.

The lucky version of the tumor

would have allowed us to do
an endoscopic endonasal procedure.

But we need to do a craniotomy
for a total resection.

Because of the size
and placement of the tumor,

surgery is complicated.

This one would involve
proximity to the brain stem,

and... I hate to have
to tell you this, but...

there is a large chance
you don't survive the surgery.

What...

What's a large chance?

Every patient is different.

50/50 or...?

20 percent?

Ab-About a 20% chance
we're able to remove it all

with no complications
that lead to brain stem damage or death.

(sighs softly)

And if I don't have the surgery?

I'd say...

...a year.

(scoffs)

Sorry, I have a daughter, so...

I mean, that's not...

I mean, it is.

♪ ♪

(panting)

WALLY:
Well, he texted and said,

"Sorry, babe, I was so drunk.

(over phone):
Are you annoyed at me?"

- What'd you say?
- No.

But are you?

I don't know.

Not really, I guess.

God, I would've loved to see your face.

While Glenn's hand was in my pants?

You're a pervert, you know that?

- (door opens, closes)
- My dad's home.

- I got to go.
- W-W-Wait. Wally, Wally, Wa...

WALLY:
You're home late.

Uh, can I put a blue shirt
in with the whites?

Are you really giving me
the silent treatment?

- I mean, I know you're mad I lied, but...
- I'm not mad.

Is this reverse psychology?

Um, no, I just...

I got a headache.

Um, I'm doing some darks later,

so just leave the shirt out
and I'll get to it.

(phone chimes)

(fingers tapping on phone)

- I went to the doctor today.
- (message whooshes) - Oh.

And?

She said, uh, the headaches will go away
if you're nicer to me.

("Superego" by Leyya playing)

Are-are you gonna get a second opinion?

I mean, what if the doctor's wrong?

Apparently, she literally
wrote the book on this stuff.

Get a shittier doctor next time,
maybe they won't find the thing.

Sorry.

I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable.

Yeah, we've met.

So when are you having the surgery?

I'm not.

I don't see how I can risk it.

My daughter's not ready
for me to be dead in...

I don't know, like, a week.

You have any family?

Anyone who can step in and...

No, I don't have any brothers or sisters.

My parents are gone.

So I am kind of it for her.

Where's her mom?

Don't tell me she's dead, too.

I can't handle that.

No.

She left me for my friend Dale

and, uh, took off when Wally was a baby.

This is all really shitty,

but your wife leaving you for a Dale
might just take the cake.

(chuckles)

You know where she is?

I think so.

I just, um...

Do you think, before I die,

I should help my kid meet her mom?

Fuck. Um...

I don't know. Uh...

Probably?

(sighs)
I'm really not the person to ask.

- I know. I just...
- Max.

I wish I was somebody

who could deal with this stuff, but...

...you know, I-I'm not the girl
you booty-call sometimes

because I'm great at relationships.

I thought you were the one
booty-calling me.

- Sorry, I didn't mean to...
- No.

No, I'm sorry.

About, uh, all of it.

So how are you?

(chuckles)

I'm not gonna complain
about anything now, am I?

Are we still gonna have sex?

(laughs)

♪ ♪

(typing)

(line ringing)

(musical beeps)

AUTOMATED VOICE:
We're sorry. You have reached...

(whispers):
Shit.

("bad idea!" by girl in red playing)

♪ 'Cause now I'm even more lost ♪

♪ It was a bad idea ♪

♪ To think you were the one... ♪

Hey.

Can you turn the music down?

- ♪ 'Cause now everything's wrong... ♪
- (turns down music)

Thank you.

Um...

So, my college reunion is next weekend.

(smacks lips)

I've decided to go.

Okay.

Which means you're going.

(chuckles)
No. No. No way.

Well, I can't leave you here by yourself.

Okay, so I'll go to Sandra's.

No, not while you're grounded.

(sighs)

Come on, where's your sense of adventure?

We've never taken
a real road trip together.

You want to drive to New Orleans?

We're gonna see
so much good stuff driving.

I found this place in Arizona.

- They got this, uh...
- Why are you suddenly

so interested in seeing people
from college?

Do you even talk to them anymore?

That's not...

The point is we're gonna reunite.

It's a reunion.

You're gonna know
a couple of people there.

You know Guy.

Dad, no one else is gonna bring their kid.

It-It's weird. It's a weird thing to do.

You know what?
I'm not gonna argue about this.

Well, who's gonna feed Maurice?

He's supposed to be low maintenance.

That's why we got Maurice.

Low doesn't mean none,
and we got him because I love him.

I don't know. Ask Sandra.

(scoffs)

We're going.

Fine. As long as you accept that

I will be miserable the entire time.

All right, I don't want you
to be miserable.

I don't want to be miserable, so...

if you promise to have
a good attitude about this...

(sighs)
...I will teach you to drive on the way.

"What, Dad?

Could it be? For real?"

"Yeah."

Do we have a deal?

(rapping):
♪ If you have a good attitude for real ♪

♪ I'll let you get behind the wheel ♪

If you promise
to never do that again, ever.

♪ I will never, ever do it again ♪

- ♪ This is the last time I'm gonna do it ♪
- (chuckles): Dad.

(chuckles)

- ♪ Very last time. ♪
- Get out.

All right, good.

(phone chimes)

- Is that it?
- Yeah.

- You pack your retainer?
- Yep.

- I didn't pay for braces so that...
- Yeah, I know.

- I packed it.
- Where you going?

I'm driving.

Good one.

What? But that was the deal.

I'm driving till it's safe.

I don't want you on the freeway yet.

And I got reading material
to keep you occupied

till it's your turn anyway.

- (grunts)
- College is over two years away, Dad.

I don't know why I haven't had you
thinking about it for two years already.

- Let's go!
- (vehicle door opens)

(Max grunts)

(engine starts)

(engine revs)

MAX:
Jerry just needs to warm up.

WALLY:
Right.

("Chaise Longue" by Wet Leg playing)

MAX:
How about journalism?

I hate talking to strangers.

- Medicine?
- Human body freaks me out.

You know that.

Why are you suddenly so obsessed
with my future?

Don't your friends talk about
what they want to do for college?

Glenn's gonna go to USC
because his dad went there,

and Sandra's dream has always been
to be a fashion designer.

I have no idea what I want to be.

So what are you gonna do
after you graduate?

Join a biker gang.

Wally. Come on.

Fine. I...

- I want to see the world.
- You want to see the world?

I could barely get you on this trip.

I-I want more culture, okay?

And you enrolling me
in traditional African dance classes

when I was four doesn't count either.

Thought I was doing the right thing.

I was trying to teach you
both sides of yourself.

No, that did not work.

Okay, so where do you want to go?

(smacks lips)

I was thinking of starting in the Balkans.

Maybe Bosnia.

Bosnia?

That's your dream,
to go get swept up in a civil war?

Oh, my God, Dad,
I'm pretty sure the war there

literally ended before I was born.

Wally, you are smart.

You can't throw away your future.

You-you got your whole life to travel.

I don't believe that.

People who play it safe when they're young
play it safe their whole lives.

I think we're past
any crowded freeway traffic.

We're not done talking about this.

Don't do the eye thing.

(horns honking and blaring)

Wally, you have to drive at the same speed
as the flow of traffic.

I know. That was, like,
question three on my permit test.

MAX:
Well, you're a snail.

- All right. Okay.
- You're stressing me out.

I'm stressing you out?

(pop music begins over radio, then stops)

You're not ready for multitasking.

- The music just... it calms me.
- Well, you need to speed up.

- Fine.
- (engine revving)

Hey, no! You need to slow down!

- You just told me to speed up!
- Slow down!

- Slow down!
- (tires screech)

Oh, my God!

("Feelin' Lovely" by Connan Mockasin
and Devonté Hynes playing)

(tires screech)

♪ Feel the pain ♪

♪ Very nice ♪

♪ With the same ♪

♪ Feeling good ♪

♪ You'll leave there ♪

♪ Show the map ♪

♪ For the days ♪

♪ Here before ♪

- ♪ Fall at best ♪
- ♪ You're the same ♪

- ♪ You're a mess ♪
- ♪ She, too ♪

- ♪ You a mess ♪
- ♪ On the floor... ♪

- MAX: Need help?
- WALLY: No, I got it.

- ♪ Hold it tight ♪
- ♪ Feel the pain... ♪

(song fades)

(ears ringing)

(ringing stops)

♪ ♪

What's going on over there?

Nothing.

Is it Glenn?

Are you, um, are you getting good service?

Because I-I have full bars,
but this thing...

What are you doing?

When you look back on this trip,

I want you to remember
you and me spending time together,

not you waiting
for your boyfriend to call.

- All right?
- He's not my boyfriend.

Did you guys break up?

No, we can't break up.
We're not officially together.

Wait, you've been seeing this guy
all summer,

and he won't commit
to being your boyfriend?

Who does this kid think he is?

Dad, it's-it's not,
it's not like that, okay?

Can I just... can I have my phone back?

No.

But he hasn't texted me all day,

and-and when he finally does,
I want to be able to talk to him.

Get cleaned up.
Let's go check out the casino.

("Nobody But You" by Froidz playing)

♪ You know how to read my mind... ♪

MAX: Yeah, the odds are stacked
against the players.

These machines... they're all programmed
with these algorithms that make sure...

I'm not an idiot, Dad, okay?

I know it's unlikely you'll win big.

But people are happy.

It's the adrenaline.

From the alcohol.

Why do you think
they give out free drinks?

They're free?

You're missing the point.

- No, you are.
- (nearby laughter, cheering)

Look at them. They're having fun, okay?

Yeah.

Until they lose everything they came with

and wake up
with matching snake eyes ass tattoos.

You're nuts.

Fine.

Let's see how fun it can be
to lose some money.

It's a ten dollar minimum bet,

which means we have five chances.

Assuming we lose.

MAX:
All right, where do you want to go first?

Put one on red.

Okay. Red.

(ball rolling)

DEALER:
24 black.

There went the cost of a movie ticket.

Where to now?

Do red again.

Right.

Red.

(ball rolling)

DEALER:
26 black.

One on black and one on even.

Taking your bets up a notch.

They say scared money never wins.

You watch too much TV.

25 red. Sorry.

(sighs)

One bet left.

- Where do we go?
- I don't care.

This is rigged.

All right.

If I win, you give up Bosnia.

Why would I agree to that?

If I lose, I will at least hear you out
on your anti-college plans.

- Okay. Okay.
- Yeah?

(rapping):
♪ Do we have a deal ♪

- ♪ If you have a good attitude for real? ♪
- (laughing)

- Come on. Deal.
- Deal.

- All right.
- (whoops, claps)

- Easy.
- (sputters)

17 black.

DEALER:
17 black.

- Nicely done.
- WALLY: Oh, my God.

- Holy shit. We won!
- Oh, my God!

- Oh, my God, we won! We won!
- (laughing): We won.

- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God.

This never happens, okay?

Highly improbable.

Oh, my God. All right.

- (whoops)
- (laughs)

I don't know if I'm more excited
about the $350

or the fact that you're not gonna get
kidnapped in the Balkans.

Oh, well, you only ruled out one country.

I still have Kosovo and Serbia.

- You cheater. You're a cheater.
- (laughs)

What's on tap next?

We're going back to the hotel.

Are-are you insane? We-we can't stop now.

We're on a winning streak.

Not knowing when to stop
is how people lose everything.

So keep the 50 you started with,
and at worst we'll end up even.

Or we take it all and invest it
in a retirement fund for you.

And suddenly you're you again.

♪ ♪

(exhales)

Take it easy.

You got this.

- (tires screeching)
- Oh!

- (horns honking)
- WALLY: Ah, there's too many cars.

I-I can't get in.

MAX:
You just need to commit and do it.

- (tires screeching)
- Okay. Oh. Oh. - No.

Oh.

- (tires screech)
- (horn blaring)

(sighs)

Hell yeah!

- (whoops, laughs)
- Okay.

(phone chimes)

Don't even think about it.

- What if it's Glenn?
- What if it is?

You know, I haven't heard from him
in, like, over a day, so...

- What are you doing?
- Look at that. He's alive.

Will you read it?

If it looks like you shouldn't see it,
then just stop.

I don't like this idea.

Well, if we had a normal, modern car,

the console would automatically
read the message

and we wouldn't be having
this conversation right now.

You used to like vintage things.

Dad, what if he's telling me he, like,
lost a limb or something?

It-it would be rude of me not to respond.

(phone clicks)

"Hey, babe.

"Sorry I missed"...

that's spelled M-I-S-T...

"you yesterday.

I was at the becah"...

I think he means "beach"...

"with Zac n Amy

n my phone died."

He really can't spell "missed"?

Even with autocorrect?

He turned off autocorrect.

He says he doesn't like his phone
telling him what to do or-or say or think.

Amy's his ex. Why would he go with her?

And why would he tell me?

- Maybe it's another Amy.
- There's no other Amy.

- There's only one Amy?
- Will you text him back?

- No, I don't...
- Just write: "Call you later."

All right, is that, uh,
"you" with the traditional spelling or...

- (horn honking)
- Shit.

(horn blaring)

- How fast are you going?
- 44?

You should be going 65.

- Well, it feels like I'm going a hundred!
- All right.

When it's safe,
pull over to the right lane.

- Okay, look before you change lanes!
- Uh...

I did look! I didn't see him!

Uh...

All right. You're clear.

- Go now.
- Oh, no, no.

Someone is just gonna sneak up again.

- (stammers)
- I'm not gonna let someone hit you.

Go ahead. You're clear.

(horn honking)

- Did you close your eyes?!
- Yeah!

- I was too scared to look! (whimpers)
- No! No!

You do not close your eyes on the road

- ever under any circumstances!
- Okay, geez!

You always keep your eyes open!

I... It was like one second, okay?

All right, that is,
that is the first rule.

You cannot close your eyes!

You have to look!

("The Passenger" by Iggy Pop playing)

(Max humming along)

(singing along):
♪ I am a passenger ♪

♪ And I ride and I ride ♪

- (humming)
- ♪ I ride through the city's backsides... ♪

I didn't know you knew this song.

You think you know The Stooges
and I don't?

This is Iggy, actually, solo.

Who are you?

I always thought you listened
to, like, smooth jazz.

Sometimes.

- Jazz is cool.
- (chuckles)

(turns up music)

♪ I am the passenger ♪

♪ I stay under glass ♪

(camera clicking)

♪ I look through my window so bright ♪

♪ I see the stars come out tonight ♪

♪ I see the bright and hollow sky ♪

♪ Over the city's ripping sky ♪

♪ And everything looks good tonight... ♪

WALLY:
I don't know any athletes.

This better be a really...

MAX:
He's a very famous athlete.

WALLY:
Uh, football player?

- MAX: No.
- WALLY: Um, basketball player?

MAX:
No.

- Baseball?
- No.

Soccer?

No.

- Tennis?
- No.

Lacrosse?

I'll give this to you if you can name
one famous lacrosse player.

(laughs)

♪ Singin' la, la, la, la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la-la-la-la ♪

- ♪ La, la, la, la... ♪
- (song fades)

WALLY:
Should we ring the bell again?

MAX:
Let's give it a minute.

You okay?

With, uh, whatever you're...

You wouldn't get it.

Why not?

When's the last time you went on a date?

More recently than you think.

- (chuckles)
- Wow, okay.

At least you're finally copping to it.

You've known?

All those nonspecific work dinners?
Really?

(laughs)

Wh... Why didn't you ever say anything?

Why didn't you?

(chuckling)

Has anyone been serious?

- (bell dinging loudly)
- Stop. Come on.

Um...

I was kind of seeing this woman, uh...

Annie.

Um...

But it wasn't...

She's younger. Um...

And we're at, uh,
different places in our lives.

Does she know you feel that way?

- (clears throat)
- (beads clattering)

Oh. I'm sorry for the wait.

Nice hat.

Yeah. Uh, my-my dad wanted souvenirs.

Ah, well, nothing says Texas
like a big-ass sombrero, does it?

Y'all need a room?

Yeah.

- Okay.
- (taps counter)

I'm gonna get some ice.

- I'll be right back, okay?
- (spits)

(water runs)

(door opens)

(door closes)

(line ringing)

ANNIE (recorded):
Hey, this is Annie.

- Leave a message.
- (line beeps)

MAX:
Hey, it's Max.

I don't know why I said my name just now.

Um, you know who it is.

'Cause of my voice
and, um, caller I.D., clearly.

On my way to New Orleans with, uh, Wally

for my college reunion.

Turns out Wally's not the most,
uh, ready to drive.

(chuckles softly)

So, uh, hopefully, this wasn't
the worst idea in the world.

Uh, anyway, I was, uh,
just, uh, calling to...

...because I've been thinking about you.

I guess I had thought
that maybe there could be

more between us.

Which is stupid, obviously,
given everything.

Um...

Anyway, now I'm rambling. (chuckles)

Uh, all right, I'm gonna take
a sleeping pill and call it a night.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(laughter outside)

(people chattering outside)

(vehicle driving off)

RUSTY:
Later, Colton!

Hey, did it cause problems?

- Everyone ready?
- Been waiting for you

to get your late ass out here.

RUSTY: Looks like you found a way
to fill the time.

Q:
You are always late, bro.

RUSTY:
Sorry, some of us have jobs.

(chuckles):
Oh, a'ight.

(indistinct chatter)

("Told You I'd Be with the Guys"
by Cherry Glazerr plays)

Uh...

One-one sec.

♪ ♪

♪ I was a lone wolf ♪

♪ I thought I lost my pack... ♪

You know, you look pretty different
without that sombrero.

That's probably a good thing. (chuckles)

You got a good head for it.

Thanks?

You're not 21, are you?

18. Why?

There's another one.

(can opens)

JEN:
Y'all, we going to a party or not?

I didn't put on my makeup
to stand around in a parking lot.

HUNTER:
Yeah, let's roll.

Shotgun.

You want to come with?

- Oh, no, no. I-I can't. I actually...
- Come on.

How many times you get to see shooting
stars in the middle of nowhere Texas?

(truck doors closing)

Hop in. Come on.

(Rusty climbs in truck)

(engine starts)

- ("4aminute" by No Futurre playing)
- CROWD: ...20, 21,

22, 23,

24, 25, 26...

- (cheering)
- Let's go!

- (whooping)
- (laughter)

- That's how it's done!
- Hey, stop your bragging, bro.

- Who's next?
- Uh...

(sighs) New girl.

- Um...
- JEN: Come on.

- (chuckles): Okay.
- Cool.

HUNTER:
Get her up.

All right, ready?

(grunts)

Here you go. All right, and...

CROWD:
One, two, three,

four, five, six,

- seven, eight, nine...
- (gags)

JEN:
No.

(indistinct chatter, laughter)

- RUSTY: Oh!
- (Wally coughing)

You okay?

I'm a little dizzy.

Um, I-I think the blood
just rushed to my head.

Um...

- Sorry.
- Ooh!

(rock music playing in distance)

(firecracker booms in distance)

JEN:
Yo, Wally.

Want to hear a secret?

- Rusty lost his virginity here.
- RUSTY: Don't...

- (Jen and Wally laugh)
- Shut up.

It was, like, literally right over there.

Thank you, Jen.

Uh, sounds romantic.

- (firecracker whistling)
- Ha-ha. - Mm.

(firecracker booms in distance)

MAN (in distance):
Yeah, there it is!

Q:
Hey, what's up, partner?

- You ready?
- Flip cup?

You already know.
I got to defend my title.

- We'll see about that. (laughs)
- What you talking about?

("Selfless" by The Strokes playing)

(firecracker booms in distance)

Want a nicer view?

♪ ♪

♪ Can the dark side ♪

♪ Light my way out? ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

WALLY:
That's so cool.

♪ Lay your hand across my face ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah... ♪

How'd you get that scar on your eyebrow?

Oh. Uh...

I wish it was a cool story.

Tell me anyway.

Um, when I was three,

my-my dad wanted to take me
to the beach for the first time,

and he put way too much sunscreen on me.

I slipped out of his hands and hit my head
on the corner of the coffee table.

Well, at least he was trying
to protect you from the sun.

- He said my eyebrow split open like a mouth.
- Ooh.

So, yeah, we did not go
to the beach that day.

(Rusty laughs)

But he, uh, he always overcompensates
and tries to bring me now.

I guess I should say I got it
fighting crime or something.

You know, actually I hated it
when I was a kid,

but, um, I-I like it now.

I mean, I don't, I don't like it.

I just... I don't hate it
as much as I used to.

You should like it.

It's cute.

You sure you don't want to be down there
with your friends?

It's way better up here.

Uh...

- Oh.
- Um...

Oh, no.

- Um...
- No, no, it's...

You're great.

It's just...

Actually, there's this girl.

She's off at college.

I guess, when I'm drinking,
I get a little flirty sometimes.

Can we just pretend like
that didn't happen?

I'm probably gonna marry her one day.

If I ever get my shit together.

I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to lead you on
or anything.

No, no, it's, um...

it's okay.

♪ Life is too short ♪

♪ But I will live for you ♪

♪ You're mucking... ♪

- (song ends)
- (phone alarm ringing)

(ears ringing)

(phone alarm stops)

All right, Wally, up and at 'em.

ANNIE (recorded):
Hey, it's Annie.

I'm saying my name 'cause you did.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that, uh,

it wasn't stupid.

I've been thinking about you, too.

So...

call me back.

Come on, Wally.

It's a shared bathroom.

Let's get moving.

Honey?

(sighs)

(knocks softly)

Wally?

(line ringing)

WALLY ( recorded):
It's Wally. Speak if you want.

(line beeps)

Hey. Where are you?

(line beeps)

(line ringing)

WALLY (recorded):
It's Wally. Speak if you want.

(line beeps)

MAX:
Wally, can you call me back, please?

- Thank you.
- (line beeps)

Have you seen a teenage girl
anywhere walking around?

Hello?

Hi.

Oh.

Have you seen a young girl
around here anywhere?

Uh...

No, sir.

Do you know of a place
where a kid might wander off to?

She know anyone out here?

No. Why?

Well, there was a big party last night.

I would've been there if I wasn't working.

Where?

Uh, Old Man Baker's farm.

- Old Man Baker?
- Yeah.

He always calls the cops on us,

but he's got like 400 acres,
so what does he care

if we get wasted in the way
back of his land, you know?

Where is it? Where's, wh-where's the farm?

Would this help?

Oh, my God, sir.

Uh, I can give you...

♪ ♪

(ears ringing)

(siren wailing in distance)

♪ ♪

(vehicle door opens in distance)

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

What... what time is it?

I-I, um, I have to get back.

(vehicle door closes in distance)

RUSTY:
Did Baker call the cops again?

No, it's-it's... it's firemen.

RUSTY:
Jesus.

Don't they have anything better to do?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- Shit, shit, shit. I'm dead.
- Well...

...looks like you got a ride.

Wally?

Wally, what are you doing up there?

What the hell were you thinking?!

- I'm sorry, sir. It's my fault.
- What did you do to her?!

- I did nothing, nothing. I didn't do...
- Dad, he didn't do anything, okay?

- Don't lie to me. Don't-don't... just...
- I'm not. I'm not.

I tried to text you,
b-but my phone died and-and...

That's what you have to say?!

Your phone died?! That's it?!

I didn't mean to scare you, I swear.

Come down here right now!

- Be careful.
- Not you.

You stay up there.

Dad, I'm sorry, okay?

You're sorry you got caught.

No, I'm not. I'm sorry...

I didn't mean to, like,
cause a whole thing.

Did you give any thought
as to what would happen

when I woke up and you weren't there?

- I told you...
- I know you didn't.

What happened to you being
a kid I could trust?

I am. I am.

- I-I just... I wasn't...
- (sighs)

(ears ringing)

(turn signal clicking steadily)

What?

I need you to drive.

I'm, uh, I'm having
a vision thing right now.

(turn signal stops)

(birds chirping)

("This/That" by Sarah Jaffe playing)

♪ For a second,
I forgot that I could have my way ♪

♪ Enough of this, enough of that ♪

♪ The idea is a slave ♪

♪ To some unknown territory ♪

♪ Buried in your brain... ♪

MAX: You got to cover the pad
when you type your PIN.

- Otherwise, somebody will...
- Yep, got it.

I didn't know your headaches
were this bad.

You never tell me anything.

♪ Enough of this-that,
this-that, this-that ♪

♪ Oh... ♪

WALLY: I wish you could've seen
what I saw last night.

The whole sky was full of shooting stars.

I know it sounds dumb,
but made me feel really small.

(seagulls squawking)

One day, when me being an asshole
is behind us,

we should go back to that field.

Getting to see a meteor shower
in a place like that

is something you should do before you die.

(song ends)

("Breakaway" by Glassio playing)

- ♪ I gotta leave my home ♪
- (lively chatter)

♪ Leave my soul and break away... ♪

I guess I don't get
a fancy preprinted one.

I should use a fake name.

I would've made a great Ophelia.

Use your real name.

Hey, don't slouch. Stand up straight.

What's with the posture police?

I just... I want people's
first impressions of you to be good.

(chuckles):
What people?

Hmm?

Are you stress-sweating?

Is this what a midlife crisis is?

No.

Yes.

I just need a drink.

("Sunny Side Up" by Jean Tonique playing)

(lively chatter, laughter)

The thing is...

You said it was weird
that I wanted to come to this reunion.

You were right.

Obviously.

(sighs) It's just, um...

- I wanted you to meet...
- GUY: If you don't give me

the biggest bear hug
of your life right now,

I'm gonna cut off your arms
and wrap them around myself

in a very sad and pathetic way.

- Get over here.
- (laughs): How the hell are you, Guy?

GUY:
Oh, forget me.

Wally! Oh!

I barely recognize you without those...

Oh, God, please don't say bangs.

- Cute Beetlejuice bangs.
- They were Dad's fault.

But, you know,
they actually weren't as bad

- as his frosted tips.
- Yeah, well, see,

I'm still in therapy
for the year that my mother

- let me grow a rat tail.
- (chuckles)

Um, what's a rat tail again?

God, we're so old.

- Right?
- What?

Wow, you used to wait a little longer
before tuning me out.

- (laughs): No, I'm sorry.
- (chuckles)

It's a lot to take in.

Right. Well, come and meet Samuel.

I've definitely just left him alone
at a reunion

where he knows absolutely no one.

Join the club.

(electronic dance music playing)

SAMUEL:
This DJ is awful.

When in the history of banquet halls
has a DJ ever been good?

He doesn't have to be this bad.

- GUY: You're dancing?
- SAMUEL: Well, I'm-a always dance

regardless of the quality of the music.

I listen to my own playlist in my head.

GUY:
Mm.

Park.

Why aren't you up there
reliving your glory days?

- What glory days?
- GUY: Max used to be

one of the broodiest singers
this side of the Mississippi.

SAMUEL:
Aren't we on the Mississippi?

We don't need to talk about this, okay?

Yes, we do.

I so wanted him to go pro
so I could make a career out of,

- "Oh, no, I'm with the band, so..."
- (chuckles)

- Were you really that good?
- GUY: Oh, yes.

I mean, girls in bars took their tops off.

WALLY:
What?

GUY:
To be clear, it's New Orleans.

Girls take their tops off
when a garbage truck goes by.

- Uh, I'll be right back.
- Cool.

We'll just stay here.

(electronic dance music playing)

(indistinct chatter)

Hi. This is Jane.

- This is my wife Jane.
- Hi.

DALE:
H-Hold on.

Excuse me.

Max.

Dale.

Oh. Okay.

- (clears throat)
- Great to see you, man.

Yeah. Did you get my messages?

No. Did you call me?

Facebook. I don't have your phone number.

I never check my DMs.

It's just full of people
trying to sell me shit.

Hmm.

So, uh...

...how's it going?

Uh, I haven't, I haven't seen you
probably since...

Since Nicole left me.

- Uh...
- Where is she?

Is she here?

Oh, wow, I-I just assumed you knew.

Knew what?

I'm here with, uh...

wife two, uh, Jane.

Let me buy you a drink.

It's an open bar.

Okay.

Maybe I can...

get you a free drink.

- GUY: He's cute. I get it.
- SAMUEL: Mm-hmm.

I can see his confidence
even through the phone, child.

So why would I try to kiss another guy?

- Alcohol?
- (laughs)

Alcohol is always the answer
to that question.

- (Samuel chuckles)
- Don't worry.

Everyone always makes dumb decisions
when they're drunk.

- I don't.
- I mean...

- What? You don't?
- (laughing)

SAMUEL:
We met at a bar.

GUY:
Yeah, that was not a dumb decision.

Who's that guy my dad's with?

Uh... that would be Dale the douchebag.

Huh.

("Hella Good" by No Doubt playing)

MAX:
So what happened with Nicole?

That's a really beautiful story.

We got divorced.

A few years ago now.

Thought you were soul mates.

We were soul mates for a little while.

And then, uh, she left me, too.

I, uh...

I've thought about you, actually.

And I, um...

(clicks tongue)

I really regret it.

All of that.

We're in the same boat, Max.

And I know it's 15 years too late,
but I'm sorry.

- Did you have kids?
- No. Ugh.

Then our boats weren't even
in the same fucking marina.

How is Wally?

Don't do that. Don't do that.

(scoffs) Okay.

I was just trying to reconnect with you.

All right, where's Nicole now?

Uh, I pay alimony to someplace,
uh, near Tampa.

♪ You got me feeling hella good ♪

♪ So let's just keep on dancing... ♪

(Dale sighs)

I don't even recognize half these people.
Do you know these people?

I need her address.

- What for?
- I think you can do

this one thing for me, okay?

Pull up her address.

This...

better not be some kind
of revenge fantasy shit.

Pull up the address.

I'm doing that.

MAX:
You don't have a phone number.

We only speak through lawyers now.

(sighs)

So I guess we're good now.

Oh, God, fuck off.

Hey, Max,
I know you think of me as the bad guy,

but it's not like
you were some innocent victim.

♪ You got me feeling hella good ♪

♪ So let's just keep on dancing... ♪

- (both grunting)
- (clamoring)

Holy shit.

♪ So I'm gonna keep on dancing ♪

♪ Dancing. ♪

- (shouts)
- (song ends)

(muffled dance music playing in distance)

(sighs)

(water running)

I've never seen Dad like that before.

Oh, he can take a punch.

The man once got an ass tattoo in Vegas.

Are you really surprised?

- Wait. Snake eyes?
- SAMUEL: (sighs) You never know

when to stop talking.

You didn't hear that from me.

When did he get so boring?

He grew up.

("Tooth Ache" by RF Shannon playing)

♪ Take it slow ♪

♪ I take it slow riding the backroads... ♪

So...

he's the one she left us for?

Why didn't you ever tell me
he was your best friend?

(chuckles):
I wouldn't call him my best friend.

And-and why didn't you tell me
we were coming to see her?

I didn't know what she'd be like.

But I guess we're both gonna find out
if we're heading to Florida.

Does she want to meet me?

How could she not?

That's not an answer.

Do you want to meet her?

I've stalked every Nicole Burke
I could find online.

You have?

They're mostly white ladies.

She's going by her stage name:
Nicole Genevieve.

She's an actress?

She was gonna be.

She said L.A. was, uh, too hard.

That's what took her to New York.

That and Dale.

Don't hold Dale against her, okay?

Her leaving was...

my fault.

Wait. What?

What do you mean?

Not... not entirely.

It is complicated.

What's complicated?

You-you forced her
to hook up with another guy?

No, um...

Dad, she's the one who cheated.

(sighs)

What?

I cheated first.

Sweetheart...

("When U Loved Me" by Hether playing)

(knocks on door)

Hey, gumbo's here.

Come on.

It's been a long day.

WALLY:
So?

MAX:
What?

WALLY:
Why'd you do it?

And I don't want some bullshit answer.

I don't have a reason
that's gonna make it better.

We had a fight.

We had a lot of fights.

I went out and...

I got drunk.

And that was that.

Just once?

(whispers):
I'm sorry.

♪ Matching socks and old cartoons ♪

♪ Wish those days never changed. ♪

- (song ends)
- (crickets chirping)

(dog barking in distance)

(traffic passing)

("Dreamin' of the Southland"
by Keith Nichols playing)

(trolley bell clanging)

- (line ringing)
- (elevator bell dings)

(phone vibrates)

- Hello.
- MAX: Hey.

It's early.
I figured I'd get your voice mail.

Mm, yeah. Summer school grades are due,

and I put off submitting them
until an hour before the deadline.

Very responsible.

I thought so.

How are you? Sorry.

I know that's-that's
the world's dumbest question.

I just mean... (sighs)

...you know, the...
on the brain tumor front.

It's actually a bone tumor.

Um, near my brain.

Wh... Is that better?

(chuckles):
No.

Are you okay?

I'm the same, I guess.

Well, that's good.

Uh, I mean, not good, but...

but good that you're not worse.

Yeah.

It's good that I'm not worse.

(bag unzips)

MAX:
You ready to hit the road?

Yeah, but I'm starving.

Barely ate anything last night.

'Cause I was mad at you.

Are you still?

Are you gonna hide more shit from me?

No.

Then no.

I'm not mad at you.

Look, um...

...whatever else happened
between you guys...

...you're the one that stayed with me.

("Fade" by Doug Tuttle playing)

- (kisses)
- Okay.

♪ Sure, we sometimes wonder why... ♪

WALLY:
Last night, Guy kept talking about

how he thought you were gonna end
up a rock star.

I've never even heard you sing.

What are you talking about?
Of course you have.

I don't mean to the radio
or when you used to sing

"My Wally Lies Over the Ocean"
to put me to sleep.

I told you I used to play guitar.

And some drums.

Yeah, but I assumed you meant, like,

you took lessons or something
since you don't own a guitar.

Sold it.

That's sad, Dad.

For a while, I was...

really serious about music.

I thought I could make a living off of it.

Until one day, you woke up thinking,

"My life would be so much better
if I got a job where I wore loafers."

I do not wear loafers.

Mm. What are those?

These have laces.

(chuckles):
Oh.

Loafers don't have laces.
That's what makes them loafers.

(chuckles softly)

Look, 99% of people who want
to make a living doing music or art

are never gonna be successful,
and that's just facts.

So you just gave it up?

I could've struggled for years,

could've given up everything
and still never made it.

Or we could be rich and famous right now.

Sorry to disappoint.

Were you really that good?

I thought I was.

Did she think you were good?

It's probably what made her
fall in love with me.

I wish I knew when we started this trip
I was gonna meet my mom.

I probably would've packed nicer clothes.

Just...

I want her to like me.

("Cycles of Existential Rhyme"
by Chicano Batman playing)

MAX: I thought you were going
with the orange dress.

The orange dress looked great.

WALLY:
I'm just trying on one more.

What do you think of this one?

You look, uh...

(chuckles) It's not like
it's my wedding dress or something.

I know. I just...

Okay, so this one or the orange one?

Both.

It's $110.

- (band playing slow jazz music)
- (lively chatter)

WALLY:
Explain to me why we're here.

MAX: Because every father
should teach his daughter how to dance

before her wedding day.

Don't you think?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure we got tons of time
before you need to worry about that.

Is this about her?

Because it's not like I'm gonna pick her
over you or something.

Let's dance, Wallis.

(chuckles)

♪ ♪

I don't know what I'm doing.

It's okay.

Can I just stand on your feet
like I did when I was a little kid?

You actually never did that.

You always chose to be difficult.

That doesn't sound like me at all.

(chuckling):
Oh, doesn't it?

Doesn't sound like you?

Come here.

Trust yourself.

You're gonna meet a lot of guys
in your life, Wally.

You're gonna like some.

Gonna hate a few.

You might love a few.

But I don't want you to marry someone
unless he is a good man.

Okay.

Uh, it's just...

You are becoming a woman.

(both laugh)

You have a fire inside you, Wally.

Life is gonna pull some pretty
shitty moves to try and put it out.

And when it happens, I just want the guy
next to you helping you light it again.

Okay?

How will I know?

Well, for one,

good man will take you dancing
if you want him to.

(both laugh)

Doesn't have to be as skilled
as your old man, but...

he should jump at the opportunity.

'Cause he'll want to make you happy.

A good man will take me dancing.

You got it.

♪ ♪

- (song ends)
- (applause)

(jazz music continues in distance)

(line ringing)

- (ringtone playing)
- (characters grunting)

What's up?

Hey, Glenn.

Uh, there's something important
I need to tell you.

'Kay.

Next time you decide you want to see me

when you get bored
of everyone else, don't.

Maybe you just have really nice hair
or really good pheromones or something.

I don't know, but...

I guess what I'm trying to say
is I've realized

that you don't actually make me feel good.

Wait.

Have a good night, babe.

(line beeps)

GAME ANNOUNCER:
K.O.

(video game music plays)

Loser.

("Itotiani" by Chicano Batman playing)

(engine stops)

You sure this is her place?

Six one eight.

That is definitely it.

(Max sighs)

Whenever you're ready.

I can't do this.

What do you mean?

You're a doer. You face things.

I've always admired that about you.

Dad, we can't just be like, "Hi, ex-wife.

"Look who's here,
the baby you left behind.

Like her dress?"

We can't show up unannounced, okay?

You just... you go first and prep her.

- Listen, I think...
- No, Dad, please.

I shouldn't surprise her.

'Kay.

(exhales)

Try to keep from, uh...

what'd you call it?
stress-sweating while you wait.

(vehicle door closes)

(whispers):
Max.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

I was in the neighborhood.

My neighborhood?

How'd you find me?

I ran into your ex-husband.

Your other ex-husband.

Listen, I'm sorry.

I would've called, but, um,
you are, uh, really hard to find.

I mean, seriously, witness protection
could use some tips from you.

Can I come in?

Uh, the house is a mess.

Let's go around back.

Okay.

Yeah. Yeah.

(whispers):
Shit.

She just wants to meet her mom.

According to the courts,
I'm not really fit to be her mom.

Hey, please, don't take that out on her.

You left. What was I supposed to do?

Do you know how hard it is
to lose the rights to your kid?

I don't want to rehash everything
right now, okay?

(sighs heavily)

Okay.

So when'd you end up in, uh... Florida?

Year and a half ago.

It's a long story, but...

I met Tom, and he helped me
to get my life together.

Tom.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Is he why you don't want to meet her?

Of course I want to meet her.
I think about her a lot.

But... (sighs)

things are too complicated right now.

What do you want me to tell her?

(phone vibrates)

- You should go.
- Well, you got to answer me.

- What do I tell her? What do I tell her?
- I don't know.

I don't know!

You can't just show up out of nowhere.
That's on you.

Oh, come on.

It's just not a good time in my life.

But maybe we can meet one day.

You really hate your brief stint
at motherhood that much?

- Stop.
- Or do you hate me so much

that you're willing to hurt your daughter?

She is waiting in the car!

I'm sorry I'm not who you want me to be.

That makes two of us.

I don't have time for you
to figure your shit out.

What does that mean?

You're her only family.

Other than me.

(baby crying)

(sighs)

Yours?

(crying continues)

Elizabeth.

She'll be one next month.

I'm sorry, Max.

I am.

- Nicole, come on.
- No.

You can't just...

You have to go.

(crying continues)

(vehicle door opens)

Hey. Wh-What-what did you say?

What did she say? Are we going in?

Little glitch in the plan, hon.

She doesn't want to meet me.

Course she does. It's, um...

We had to go around back
because she's having her floors redone

and the house is full of workers,
but we're coming back tomorrow.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Let's go somewhere.

Take our minds off this
for a little bit, okay?

(engine starts)

WALLY:
Come on, what happened in there?

- MAX: Told you what happened.
- No, you-you gave me

the Great Illustrated Classics
abridged version.

I-I want the play-by-play.

So, you're at the door, ding-dong. Then?

We talked for a little bit.

- She a crackhead or something?
- What?

No. What kind of a question is that?

You've never been more evasive
in my entire life, not even when I was six

and we were watching Friends
and I asked you what sex was.

I don't know what you want me to tell you.

We talked for a little bit.

She had people over.

She couldn't focus on everything at once.

- That's all.
- Why are you lying to me?

I'm not.

There wasn't a work van
on the street, Dad.

There weren't any cars.

She didn't have workers there.

She's not getting her floors redone.

Okay? So, ei-either she's a crackhead

and-and you just didn't want me
to meet her

or she doesn't want to meet me.

She has a baby.

She said her life is too complicated
to meet you right now. Come here.

Stop. Stop telling me things
are complicated.

It means nothing.

Wally, we got to talk about this.

What is wrong with you?!

You brought us to a freaking nude beach?!

MAX: I didn't know it was a nude beach.
I just GPS'd the closest one.

'Cause I needed to be further scarred
by this day.

You can never tell anyone
that I brought you here, okay?

I would die
before I tell anyone about this!

(gasps) God! (gags)

(grunts) Dad, stop!

Stop touching me!

Wally, calm down! Calm down!

No, I-I don't want to calm down!

Did you think I wouldn't figure out
that she didn't want to meet me?

Or w-were you gonna lie to me
again tomorrow

and the next day and the next day?

Clearly I didn't have a plan, okay?

I just didn't want to see you sad.

You know what?
That worked out perfect, Dad.

What's her replacement kid's name?

She's not a replacement.

Maybe you don't know
the meaning of the word.

Elizabeth.

Dumbest name ever.

She was just overwhelmed.

Sweetheart, I know she'll come around.

Wally.

Wally. Wally?

♪ ♪

(knocking on door)

Wally? Can I come in?

- (knocking on door)
- Hey, Wall...

- I'm ready to go home now.
- (suitcase rolling)

Hey. We're not leaving. Come on.

I'm not gonna stay somewhere
where there's nothing for me.

MAX:
Listen, I'm not gonna drag you.

You've dragged me this whole time!

Wally!

We're going home!

No, we're not leaving until you meet her!

I know deep down she wants to see you.

Then why didn't she ever try to?

God, I wish you never put this stupid idea
in my head!

You should've just let me keep
this fantasy version of her

that somewhere out there
was a woman who regretted abandoning me

and wished she could have me back.

But you didn't.

You ruined everything.

I want to go home.

- You have to meet her.
- I thought I wasn't

supposed to want someone
who doesn't want me back.

So this is, this is different. Uh...

Are you still in love with her?

Not even close.

So why are you doing this to me?

Um...

I have a tumor

in my head

that's giving me less than a year.

If I let them operate to try to remove it,

uh, they could kill me on the table.

So I-I can't do that.

I have to spend this year
fixing things for you while I still can.

- (crying)
- Wally.

- (alarm blaring, door slams)
- Wally. Wally.

Wally?!

Wally. Come on.

("Blue Monday" by New Order playing)

- Wally?
- (engine starts)

- Is everything okay?
- Yes, yes, everything is fine.

- (tires screech)
- Hey!

Turn the car off!

- Turn the car off!
- (horn honking)

No! Move!

(honking continues)

(Max grunts)

Hey, come on.

Wally, let's talk about this.

I know this sucks.

- I get it, okay?
- Oh, you get it?

- (tires screeching)
- Whoa! Whoa! Slow down!

- (horn honks)
- Put your belt on!

- Ugh, get off! Stop!
- Put your belt on!

- Slow down. Shit.
- (seat belt clicks)

Listen, I understand you're upset, okay?

I'm obviously upset, too.

- We need to talk about it.
- Oh, you don't want

to congratulate me on my perfect merge?

No! I want you to stop driving!

I didn't make you come with me!

- You are welcome to get out!
- (screams)

- (tires screeching)
- (horn blaring)

This car can't handle any faster!

Maybe you shouldn't have
an elderly car, then.

MAX:
Okay.

All right, we're gonna get arrested.

That's good. That's what I need right now.

(tires screech)

How many times
do I have to tell you to stop?!

I don't know. I guess we'll see.

What point is this proving?!

(tires screeching)

Jesus!

Wally! Stop!

You could've killed somebody!

- MAN: You all right?
- Wally?

MAN:
Hey, where-where's she going?

Wally!

I'm sorry. I-I'll be right back!

Sorry!

Wally!

Stop! Stop!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey. What the hell was that?!

- I hate you. I hate you.
- For what?

You find out that you're...

that you have a tumor,
and instead of telling me,

you try to pawn me off onto some woman
who doesn't even want me?

Do you not realize
how screwed-up that is?!

Oh, fuck, Wally.

When are you gonna grow up?!

I am sorry that I am dying

and something in this world
isn't about you.

And I'm sorry that I gave up
on all the things

that I wanted in life to make you happy.

'Cause you know what?

You are never happy!

I didn't make you give up anything.

That is all you
because that is what you do.

You don't bet on yourself.
You don't believe you can win.

But, hey, at least you're gonna leave me
with a clear philosophy, right?

I'm not leaving you with that.

Then why wouldn't you let them
try to take the tumor out?!

What do you want me to say?

That you're not gonna die.

I thought you didn't want me
to lie to you, baby.

Is it 100% certain
that the surgery won't work?

- No, but...
- So, if you do nothing,

you definitely die, and if you
do something, you potentially live.

How is that not a clear choice?

I don't want you for one year, Dad.

I want you for my whole life.

Don't you want to yell at me when I get
some stupid tattoo like you did?

You're supposed to... I don't know.

You're supposed to laugh
when I trip at my own wedding.

And I'm supposed to be obnoxious

when you finally introduce me
to some woman you're dating.

Dad, I love you.

And I know I don't always show it,
and I'm sorry,

but, uh, I thought we had more time.

I thought we were gonna go back
to that field in Texas

and watch the meteor shower.

I thought... I thought we were gonna
do all that stuff together.

Don't you want to?

You have no idea.

We don't get to unless you're willing
to take a chance.

(sobs)

Please, Dad.

I'd bet on you.

Okay.

Okay?

- Okay.
- Okay?

Okay.

(sobbing)

(siren whoops)

We were just standing still
and the girl...

(continues indistinctly)

Am I grounded?

(laughs)

(instrumental of Bon Jovi's
"Livin' on a Prayer" playing)

WOMAN:
One, two, three, huh!

WOMEN:
♪ Tommy used to work on the docks ♪

(women whooping)

♪ Union's been on strike,
he's down on his luck ♪

♪ It's tough ♪

(mumbling and slurring lyrics)

♪ Gina works the diner all day ♪

♪ Working for her man, she brings home ♪

(mumbling and slurring lyrics)

♪ Oh, for love ♪

- (whoops)
- ♪ This one says ♪

♪ "We gotta hold on
to what we've got, huh ♪

♪ "Doesn't make a difference
if we make it or not, yeah ♪

♪ Got each other
and that's a lot for love..." ♪

WALLY: So, Sandra saw Glenn
at Jessica's birthday party,

and he wanted to know
if I was seeing someone else

or, if he actually asked me
to be his girlfriend, if I'd say yes.

And would you?

♪ Whoa-oh, livin' on a prayer... ♪

I don't think he'd take me dancing.

I don't think I'd take him dancing.

WOMAN:
Happy birthday! It's her birthday!

- It's her birthday! (laughs)
- (applause)

Um, did you mean what you said about

giving up everything you wanted for me?

I'm so sorry I said that.

Of course I didn't mean it.

I think you did.

Which is stupid.

Okay, up next, we have Maxwell Park!

Come on up, man.

MAX:
No, you didn't.

- No.
- Look, you said you're too tired to drive,

and-and the highway patrol
took away my permit,

so I'm not driving anywhere tonight
or in the next six months, so come on.

Why'd you think I wanted to come here?

I thought it was the cheese fries.

Don't be a weenie.

(laughs):
"Don't be a weenie"?

Did you not hear their Bon Jovi?

This is not Broadway.

(sighs)

All right, Wally Park.

You better have picked something good.

(instrumental of Iggy Pop's
"The Passenger" playing)

(whoops)

♪ I am the passenger ♪

♪ I stay under glass ♪

♪ I see the bright and hollow sky ♪

♪ Over the city's ripped back sky ♪

♪ And everything looks good tonight ♪

- (crowd cheering)
- (laughing)

♪ Singin' la, la, la, la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la-la-la-la ♪

Yeah!

♪ Get into the car ♪

♪ We'll be the passenger ♪

♪ We'll ride through the city tonight ♪

♪ We'll see the city's ripped backsides ♪

♪ We will see the bright and hollow sky ♪

♪ I see, see the stars
that shine so bright ♪

♪ Oh, stars made for us tonight ♪

(laughs)

♪ Oh, the passenger ♪

♪ How-how he rides ♪

♪ Oh, the passenger ♪

♪ He rides and he rides ♪

- (laughing): Holy shit.
- (crowd cheering)

♪ He looks through his window ♪

♪ What does he see? ♪

♪ He sees the silent, hollow sky ♪

♪ He sees the stars come out tonight ♪

♪ He sees the city's ripped backsides ♪

♪ He sees the winding ocean drive ♪

♪ And everything was made for you and me ♪

(distorting):
♪ All of it was made for you and me ♪

♪ So let's take a ride
and see what's ours, baby ♪

(music muffling and distorting)

♪ We're singing la, la, la, la,
la-la-la-la ♪

- ♪ La, la, la, la ♪
- (ears ringing)

♪ La-la-la-la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la-la-la-la-la, la, la ♪

- (heart beating rapidly)
- (music stops)

(body thuds on floor)

MAX:
Wally! Wally?

(heartbeat stops)

WALLY: I said you weren't gonna like
the way this story ends.

("Moon (And It Went Like)"
by Kid Francescoli playing)

Have you ever heard of this thing
called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy?

Me neither.

Remember when I was convinced
Glenn made my heart race?

Or that time I thought
I was gonna pass out

because I was upside down?

And it turns out my stress sweat
had a legit medical reason.

All missed warning signs.

MAX (muffled):
Wally! Wally?

Wally?

Wally, Wally.

Somebody call an ambulance!

(panting)

Wake up, sweetie. Wake up. Come on.

Wake up, baby.

Wake up.

Hey, wake up.

♪ ♪

(kisses)

WALLY: Apparently, I had an enlarged heart
and it could stop at any moment.

But how was I supposed to know that?

Dying before my 16th birthday
obviously could've gone better for me.

But you know how much it would've sucked
if I'd gone out a week earlier?

Because at least before I died...

...I got to do some really cool shit.

Like dance at a jazz club.

And win at roulette.

And I actually got to see America.

In a really old Wagoneer.

That I drove.

I know that's cheesy,

but are you really gonna judge
a dead girl?

♪ Mm-mm, mm-mm ♪

♪ Mm-mm-mm-mm, mm, mm, mm, mm ♪

♪ Mm-mm, mm-mm-mm ♪

♪ Mm-mm, mm-mm ♪

♪ Mm-mm-mm-mm, mm, mm, mm, mm ♪

♪ Mm-mm... ♪

And as for my mom...

- ...I forgive her.
- (sobs softly)

♪ Mm-mm... ♪

I think she was just doing
the best she could.

(sobbing):
Oh, my God.

♪ Mm-mm, mm-mm-mm ♪

♪ Mm-mm, mm-mm... ♪

My dad taught me a lot of things in life.

But I finally taught him something.

- ♪ Mm-mm-mm. ♪
- (song ends)

To take a chance.

- (quiet beeping)
- (indistinct chatter)

Do you remember when you promised me
that if you ever died...

...I could have your record collection?

I sold that record collection.

You're a rat bastard.

(both laughing)

Go home. I don't want you here.

No, I got to make sure you fill it out.

Do not resuscitate.

(laughing)

YOUNG WALLY (on video):
Hi. I'm the owner

of this camera that you're looking on.

MAX:
Oh, this is your camera?

- YOUNG WALLY: Yes.
- Okay, got it. (laughs)

YOUNG WALLY:
So, um...

MAX:
Did you remember your question?

Um, are you trying to make sure

I don't, I don't get-get hurt?

MAX:
Yes. I'm doing my very best job.

YOUNG WALLY:
Um...

what kind of job is it?

MAX: (chuckles)
It's called being a father.

Oh.

("Bunny" by Tourist playing)

MAX:
My dream was not that exciting, Wally.

- YOUNG WALLY: Why not?
- (Max chuckles)

Did you know me?

MAX:
Yes. (chuckles)

YOUNG WALLY:
Did you know yourself?

MAX:
Um, still trying to figure that part out.

Did you love me at all?

(laughs) Of course.

♪ ♪

(screams playfully)

MAX:
Sweetheart, come over here.

Say hi, Wally.

Hi.

Help me get up.

MAX:
Okay. (chuckles)

♪ ♪

(monitor beeping steadily)

GUY:
Hey.

How are you feeling?

Am I dead?

Does your afterlife fantasy
really involve seeing me

after two days without a shower?

I love you, buddy.

So proud of you.

You did the right thing.

WALLY: I don't think he's ever
gonna get over what happened.

But he's gonna keep going.

And he's not gonna do it alone.

(steady beeping)

WOMAN (over speaker): So here's the best
practices to see a meteor shower.

First is to get to a location that
has a clear view of the entire night sky.

ANNIE: If you were me,
which box would you have put

your favorite pair of pajamas?

Blue ones, little corgis on them.

So you're saying you took over
three quarters of my closet

and there are still
more clothes to unpack?

Yeah.

- Gotcha.
- (chuckles)

Hey, so there's this, uh,
meteor shower in a couple of months.

Supposed to be one of
the biggest ones in decades,

and it's gonna be
really visible because of

where the Earth is in its rotation.

Is it one of those things
that's gonna wipe us all out?

(speaking French):
do you want to go...

...see it with me?

(speaking French):
not bad

- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

- Yes.
- (chuckles)

(speaking French):
my girlfriend is a good teacher

(laughs)

("Lake Shore Drive"
by Aliotta Haynes Jeremiah playing)

I love you.

(Annie chuckles softly)

WALLY: So, maybe you're not sold
on this story being okay.

Whatever. That's up to you.

But look at my dad.

He's only in the middle of his story.

♪ Lives in my hometown... ♪

His life is gonna be a long one
and a pretty good one even.

♪ It'll take you up or down... ♪

And now he's gonna live it to the fullest.

♪ 15 minutes, you can fly ♪

♪ Pretty blue lights... ♪

See, Dad?

I know it's not all about me.

♪ And the blue lights shining
with a heavenly grace ♪

♪ Help you right on by ♪

♪ And there ain't no road just like it ♪

♪ Anywhere I found ♪

♪ Running south on Lake Shore Drive ♪

♪ Heading into town ♪

♪ Just slippin' on by on LSD ♪

♪ Friday night trouble bound ♪

♪ And it starts up north from Hollywood ♪

♪ Water on the driving side ♪

♪ Concrete mountains rearing up
throwing shadows just about 5:00 ♪

♪ Sometimes you can smell the green
if your mind is feeling fine ♪

♪ There ain't no finer place to be ♪

♪ Than running Lake Shore Drive ♪

♪ And there's no peace of mind
or place you see ♪

♪ Riding on Lake Shore Drive ♪

♪ And there ain't no road just like it ♪

♪ Anywhere I found ♪

♪ Running south on Lake Shore Drive ♪

♪ Heading into town ♪

♪ Just slippin' on by on LSD ♪

♪ Friday night trouble bound ♪

♪ And it's Friday night
and you're looking clean ♪

♪ Too early to start the rounds ♪

♪ A ten-minute ride
from the Gold Coast back ♪

♪ Make sure you're pleasure bound ♪

♪ And it's four o'clock in the morning ♪

♪ And all of the people have gone away ♪

♪ Just you and your mind
and Lake Shore Drive ♪

♪ And tomorrow is another day ♪

♪ And the sunshine's fine
in the morning time ♪

♪ Tomorrow is another day ♪

(whoops)

♪ And there ain't no road just like it ♪

♪ Anywhere I found ♪

♪ Running south on Lake Shore Drive ♪

♪ Heading into town ♪

♪ Just snakin' on by on LSD ♪

♪ Friday night trouble bound. ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(song fades)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(music ends)