Don't Let The Pigeon Do Storytime (2020) - full transcript
A collection of live readings and sketch comedy inspired by Mo Willems' series of Pigeon books.
- Aah!
Hmm.
- Hey, Mo! Hey, Mo!
- Oh, hi.
- Hey, Mo.
Hee hee hee hee!
- Take care. Okay, bye.
Hello!
Wow!
Hello!
How you doing?
Hello up there! Wow!
Look at you guys!
You look great!
Wow. Hello!
Welcome to the Kennedy Center.
Unbelievable.
Wow.
My name is Mo Willems.
And I...
am a balloon salesman.
- No!
- No. All right.
Try again.
My name is Mo Willems.
And I am a corporate attorney
specializing in tax affairs.
No!
All right.
Let's try one more time.
My name is Mo Willems.
And I...
am an author/illustrator.
Yes.
And that is really cool,
because that means
I have something in common
with you guys. Do you guys
like to make up stories?
Yeah!
- Do you like to draw?
- Yeah!
Well, then you are
author/illustrators
just like me.
Yeah. That's cool.
The only difference between
what you do and what I do
is that you don't have
to give a percentage
to a woman named Marcia.
Look, I'm so excited
to be here today
because you know
what we're gonna do?
We're gonna read stories.
We're gonna sing songs.
We're gonna draw.
And we have this amazing cast
of the Storytime All-Stars.
Yeah. Amazing.
So, kids, here's the thing about
the Storytime All-Stars.
They're very famous.
They're very, very funny.
But you really should have
no idea who they are...
...or any familiarity
with their work.
Seriously, guys. Kids,
if you recognize any of them,
your parents are doing it wrong.
But they're so nice
and they are so funny,
so let's pretend like we're
excited that they're here, okay?
Yeah. Right. Okay, here we go.
Our extensive and wide-ranging
music and special effects
department...
Mr. Fred Newman.
Let's give a big "sure we
know who you are" welcome
to Tony Hale!
What?
You know what would be awesome?
Discovering the comedy stylings
of someone
like Yvette Nicole Brown!
Now, I know you didn't see him
in that thing,
because that thing
was not G-rated at all.
But how cool is it
that we have Mr. Thomas Lennon?
You know, I bet
that somewhere out there,
there's a funny person
named Rachel Dratch!
You know who sounds like
they might be a nice person?
Oscar Nuñez!
A show like this
would not be completely awesome
if we didn't have Greta Lee!
What? Greta Lee.
One day when you're
much, much older,
you'll be a fan
of Cameron Esposito!
What's up?
Now, what are the chances
that someone
you shouldn't have heard of
but is a really big deal
is here?
Pretty good, if that someone
is Anthony Anderson!
- Make some noise!
- There's more? There can't be
unless it's Natalie Morales!
The Storytime All-Stars!
Oh, wow.
What an amazing cast
of total strangers.
All right. You guys
wanna hear a story? All right.
Let's start with Leonardo,
the Terrible...
- No, no, no!
- What? What?
No, no, no. No, no.
At rehearsal,
we said we're doing Leonardo.
- No, the Pigeon, Mo.
- Right behind you.
- I don't even...
I don't... What?
I don't see it.
- There's a pigeon there, Mo!
It's... Oh!
Pigeon.
What are you doing here? Scram.
- I'll be back.
- Your pal, Mo Willems,
presents...
- ...by me.
- Leonardo was
a terrible monster.
- He couldn't scare anyone.
- Aw!
So cute.
- He didn't have 1,642 teeth
like Tony.
- I have a lot of teeth,
and I'm okay with that.
Not all teeth shown.
- He wasn't big like Eleanor.
- Bbb! Bbb! Bbb!
Bbb! Bbb!
- It's a living.
- Bbb! Bbb! Bbb! Bbb!
- And he wasn't just
plain weird, like Hector.
- Flippy floppy
floopy floopy pants.
Abba zabba zow zinga!
- Leonardo tried very hard
to be scary.
- I'm in a bag.
- But he just wasn't.
- Ahhh.
- One day, Leonardo had an idea.
He would find
the most scaredy-cat kid
in the whole world
and scare the tuna salad
out of him.
- Tuna salad.
- Leonardo researched.
- Too passive.
- Whish.
- Too aggressive.
- Whish.
- Choose me or not,
I don't care.
- Too passive-aggressive.
- Until he found
the perfect candidate.
- Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh.
- Sam.
- Leonardo snuck up
on the poor, unsuspecting boy.
- Sneak.
Sneak. Sneaky-sneaky.
Sneaky-sneaky-sneak.
- And the monster
gave it all he had.
- Ahhhhhhh.
- Until the little boy cried.
- Ma-ma-ma waaaaaaaahh!
- ...cheered Leonardo.
- I did it.
I finally scared the tuna salad
out of someone.
- No, you didn't...
- ...snapped Sam.
- Oh, yeah?
- ...replied Leonardo.
- Then why are you crying?
- Ladies and gentlemen,
Tony Hale. Tony Hale.
- Then Leonardo made
a very big decision.
- Instead of being
a terrible monster,
he would become
a wonderful friend.
- It's okay.
- Ah.
- Ah!
- But that didn't mean
that he couldn't try
and scare his friend
every now and then.
- Huh?
- Aah!
- I'm gonna get ya.
I'm gonna get ya.
I'm gonna get ya.
- The end.
- What a story!
Whoo!
- Hey. Hey, uh, Mo.
I have a question that just
occurred to me this very moment.
- Oh. Okay, Rachel.
- Okay.
Is it K-nuffle Bunny
or Nuffle Bunny? Right?
I mean, everyone
wants to know that, right?
- That's a good question.
Okay, so here's the answer.
It all depends
on how you pronounce it.
No, actually,
I pronounce it K-nuffle,
because Knuffle is a Dutch word.
It means "hug" or "snuggle."
And my family
is originally from Holland.
- Oh. Okay. That makes sense.
- Is Knuffle Bunny a true story?
- Oh, that's
a very good question, Oscar.
- Thank you.
- How many people
in the audience
think that Knuffle Bunny
is a true story?
Raise your hand.
Oh. A lot.
How many people think
that I made up the story
of Knuffle Bunny?
Raise your hand.
Oh, yeah. All right.
All right.
Here's the real answer.
Everything in the Knuffle Bunny
stories is true
except for the parts
that I made up.
And that's the great thing
about making up stories.
You can start
with something that's real
and then just make stuff up
and get away with it. Right?
For instance, you can make up
a story like this.
You can make up
a story called...
Go a little like this.
Today was an awesome day.
I saw Mo Willems
at the Kennedy Center.
Mo was funny.
- Yeah.
- Mo was cool.
- Yeah.
- All right.
- Mo was a snazzy dresser.
And modest.
- No.
- No.
- All right.
But mostly Mo was wise.
We estab... Okay.
- While Mo was on stage
in this particular story
being really funny
and cool and wise,
his head popped off.
- Pop. Whish.
- Ouch.
- That's okay, Anthony.
It's okay.
'Cause he grew another one.
And that one popped off.
- Pop. Whish.
- Ow. Ouch again.
- No, no. No, it's okay again.
Because he grew another one.
That popped off. - Pop. Whish.
- And another.
- Pop. Whish.
- And another.
- Pop. Whish.
- And another. And another.
Until the whole Kennedy Center
started filling up
with Mo Willems's head.
Luckily, I had
my surfboard with me.
So I jumped on top of the wave
of Mo Willems's head.
I burst out
of the Kennedy Center,
went all the way
through Washington, D.C.
until the Supreme Court
building.
The end.
Are you guys ready
to hear this kind of made-up,
kind of true story?
- Yeah!
- All right.
Here we go.
Before we even begin,
we see all
these important pictures
from this real,
not-real family's life.
- It's a man and a woman
and they're getting married.
- And here are
the man and woman again,
and it looks like
they just had a baby.
- That baby is crying.
- And now the man and the woman
are in front of a house.
- And there's Trixie
hugging her Knuffle Bunny.
- ...by me.
- Not so long ago before
she could even speak words,
Trixie went on an errand
with her daddy.
- Trixie and her daddy
went down the block...
- Uh-huh.
- ...through the park...
- Oh, yeah.
- ...past the school...
- ...and into the Laundromat.
- Trixie helped her daddy put
the laundry into the machine.
- She even got to put
the money into the machine.
- Then they left.
- But a block or so later...
- ...Trixie realized something.
- Trixie turned to her daddy
and said...
- Yeah. That's right.
- Replied her daddy.
- We're going home.
- Said Trixie again.
- Yeah.
No, come on,
please don't get fussy.
- Said her daddy.
- Well, she had no choice.
Trixie bawled.
- She went boneless.
- She did everything she could
to show how unhappy she was.
- By the time they got home...
- ...her daddy was unhappy, too.
- As Trixie's mommy
opened the door,
she said,
"Where's Knuffle Bunny?"
- The whole family
ran down the block.
- It's okay. It's gonna be okay.
- And they ran through the park.
They zoomed past the school...
- Everything's fine.
- ...and into the Laundromat.
Trixie's daddy looked
for Knuffle Bunny and looked.
- And looked.
- And looked.
- And looked.
But Knuffle Bunny
was nowhere to be found.
- So Trixie's daddy
decided to look harder.
- Yes, he did.
- Until...
And those were the first words
that Trixie ever said.
- The end.
Uh...
- That dramatic story
has inspired me to, uh,
sing a dramatic song.
A song of Trixie's
heartache and pain.
A song that needs to be sung...
...by me.
This song is dedicated
to all the stuffies out there.
You know who you are,
even if you don't know
where you are.
- Wow.
Anthony, that was very, very...
Beautiful is not the right word,
but, yeah, it's pretty close.
- Thank you. Thank you, Greta.
- You know, we could also do it
as a sing-along.
- Oh, I love sing-alongs.
- Oh, I love sing-alongs.
- I love sing-alongs,
and I have ears.
- All right. Now, kids,
if you can't read the words,
don't worry. Just make them up.
Mo did.
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
- Big finish, everybody!
- Thanks, everybody!
You were great.
- Amazing.
- I'm ready for another story.
- Yeah. An alphabet story.
- Oh, well, you guys
are in luck,
because according
to regulation ABC-15,
everyone children's book author
is required to produce
at least one alphabet book
in his or her career.
And mine is entitled...
- Ooh! That's me. That's me.
- Rachel Dratch.
You guys ready for a story?
All right.
Here we go.
Creature, look.
There's the alphabet.
- Spoiler alert!
- A!
- Apples!
- B!
- Berries!
- Ooh.
- C!
- Cereal!
- Ahh!
- D!
- Doughnuts!
- Ooh!
Doughnut. Doughnut.
Doughnut. Doughnut. Doughnut.
Doughnut. Doughnut. Doughnut.
- E!
- Eggs.
- F!
- Furniture?
- Ooh!
Chippendale.
- G!
- Gravy.
- H!
- Huge hot-sauce halibut hoagie!
- Ooh.
So halibutty!
- I!
- Ice cream.
- Ooh!
Brain freeze!
J!
- Jacket.
- Ooh!
Ooh!
Burberry flavored.
- K!
- Kilt.
- Ooh!
Commando!
- L!
- Lunch box.
Ah! It's the least
important meal of the day.
- M!
- Mayonnaise.
- Ooh.
- Oh.
- Oh, that... that's disgusting.
- Ahh!
- N!
- Napkin.
- O!
- Oohhhhhhhhhh!
I don't feel so good.
- P!
- Potty!
- Uh-huh. Hold it in.
Hold it in.
- Yep.
- Q!
- Queasy?
- Quite.
- Oh.
- R.
- Rice?
- S.
- Saltines?
- Nibble. Nibble. Nibble.
- T.
- Tea?
- U.
- Ugh.
- V.
- Vomit.
- W!
- Water?
X!
- XO XO XO.
Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.
- Dad.
- Y!
- Yawn!
- Z!
- Zzzzonked.
- Z end!
- Let's hear it
for Rachel Dratch.
Mr. Fred Newman!
All right.
- We did that one by the letter.
I'm a dad.
I am someone's dad.
I can say things like that.
Would you like to hear
one of my favorite books,
featuring one
of my favorite characters?
Favorite character.
All-time favorite character.
- The Pigeon!
- The what?
- The pigeon!
- The... What?
No, no, no.
It's a favorite book. Aah!
- Get on with it already.
Waiting is not easy.
That's right. I was talking
about "Waiting is not Easy!"
starring Elephant and Piggie.
One of my favorite books.
- Aw, feathers! Aw.
- Okay. You guys ready
for a story?
- Yeah!
- Yes.
- Oh. By me.
- Gerald, I have
a surprise for you.
- Yay! What is it?
- The surprise... is a surprise.
- Oh. Is it big?
- Yes.
- Is it pretty?
- Yes.
- Can we share it?
- Yes!
- I cannot wait.
- You will have to.
- Wha... Wait. Why?
- The surprise is not here yet.
- So I will have to wait for it?
- Yes.
- Oh, well, if I have to wait,
I will wait.
I am waiting.
Waiting is not easy.
Piggie, I want to see
your surprise now.
- I'm sorry, Gerald,
but we must wait.
I am done waiting.
I do not think your surprise
is worth all this waiting.
I will not wait anymore.
Okay, I will wait some more.
- It will be worth it.
- Whoo!
- Piggie!
We have waited too long.
It's getting dark.
It is getting darker.
Soon we will not be able
to see each other.
Soon we will not
be able to see anything.
We have wasted the whole day.
- Well, um...
- We have waited and waited
and waited and waited.
And for what?
- For that.
- This was worth the wait.
- I know.
- Tomorrow morning
I want to show you the sunrise.
- I cannot wait.
- Zee end.
- Ladies and gentlemen,
a song from the "Elephant
& Piggie" musical...
"We Are in a Play."
What I'm trying to say is
that you're better than any toy.
- Well, thank you, Piggie.
- Oh, that's nice.
Oh.
- Look, guys.
Oh!
Now it is time
for something really exciting.
We are all going to draw
one of my characters together.
And we are going to draw...
- The pigeon!
- What? No, no.
- Pigeon!
- That's right. We are going
to draw the Pigeon.
But why do you keep
saying "Pigeon"?
- Pigeon!
- I don't understand.
What's happening?
What's going on here? Aah!
Pigeon.
- Hi, Mo.
- What are you doing here?
Don't you know the title
of the show is
"Don't let the Pigeon
do Storytime"?
- "Don't let the Pigeon
do Storytime"?
Aw, feathers.
- Oh. Pigeon, Pigeon.
- What?
- Don't be too sad.
Listen. How about this
as a deal?
- What?
- We will read
- a special story...
- Okay.
Just for you
after the drawing demonstration.
- Drawing? I love drawing.
I started out as one, you know.
- Yeah. Actually, I did.
- You were there.
- I was there. Yeah.
- I remember.
The guy with the hand.
- It's the one with the pen.
All right. Let's get drawing.
The cast and crew are gonna
go out into the audience
and hand out paper and crayons
for everybody.
It's gonna be awesome.
And if you are watching
on a screen,
you press "pause." Not yet.
But go out.
Grab some pencils or paper
and crayons,
and make sure you get some
for the grown-ups in the room.
Okay, you're ready?
We're gonna pause. And... pause.
Un-pause.
- Here we go.
- That's okay. It's okay.
It's okay. The pigeon...
The pigeon is gonna draw
with you and the grown-ups.
Is that okay?
- Yeah, I got my crayon
and my paper all ready.
- All right.
So...
anybody can draw a cartoon.
A cartoon
is just a bunch of shapes
put together in the right order,
right?
All you have to know
is how to write your name,
'cause your name
is a bunch of letters
put together in the right order.
And letters are shapes
that you know how to draw.
So when you're writing
your name,
you're making a cartoon.
Oh, wait.
Here's the other thing.
I forgot this.
This is really important.
Your drawing will look better
if you have fun.
All right.
On the top of our page,
we're gonna draw
a big letter "O."
Letter "O."
- Good.
- Now, inside that letter "O,"
we're going to draw
a second smaller letter "O."
Letter "O."
- Letter "O."
- It kind of looks
like a doughnut.
- Whoo.
- Okay. Now you have the choice
between the letter "M," for Mo,
or the letter "W," for Willems.
Your choice.
Do it sideways.
Letter "M."
And you have a beak.
Now we have come to the most
important part of the drawing...
Where the eyeball goes.
The eye is the window
of the soul.
If I draw a character
with a smile but sad eyes,
they're still sad.
So if I put my eye up here,
he's cheeky.
If I put my eye down here,
he's sad.
If I put my eye in the middle,
he's freaked out.
All right?
I'm in the Kennedy Center
dressed, for me, fancily,
with some amazing talent.
I'm going for freaked out.
I'm going in the middle.
You draw yours
the way you want to.
But darken it in.
Darken it in,
because you always look at the
darkest part of a drawing first,
and I want you
to see the eye first.
Okay?
We have two lines
going down for the neck.
Arup! Arup!
- Arup! Arup! Arup!
- Anthony's got the idea. Did
you hear him go "arup, arup"?
Do you know why he did that?
Very important reason.
'Cause it's fun.
How many chances in the day
do you get to go "arup, arup"
and get away with it? Right?
All right. Let's do two across
for the collar. Ready?
Ehnn! Ehnn!
- Ehnn! Ehnn!
- Now we have come
to my favorite shape
because I invented it.
See, Mo Willems
patented circ-angle.
What's a circ-angle you ask?
- What's a circ-angle?
- A circ-angle is a circle
that halfway through its life
changes its mind and decides
to become a triangle.
Ready? Here we go.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh...
I'm a circle. I'm a circle.
I'm a circle. I'm a circle.
I'm a circle.
I'll just be a triangle.
All right.
You guys have got the idea.
Let's do two more lines and get
those "arup-arups" in. Ready?
Arup! - Arup!
- Arup!
- Arup!
- Arup! Okay.
My favorite expression
is "va-va-voom."
You do the three "V's."
The first two little ones
are feet... letter "V," va.
Letter "V," va. - Va.
- And now a long one
for the wing.
A va-voom.
- Va-voom. Looks good.
- You think we're done?
No? Not yet.
We forgot
the most important part.
Write your name
so everyone knows
that you made this drawing.
- "The Pigeon."
- Right?
Okay, everybody,
hold up your pigeons.
Let me see those pigeons.
Wow!
That's great.
I love it. I love it.
Oh. That's awesome.
Hey, Pigeon. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Do you mind
if I show your pigeon?
- Let me just finish.
- Okay. Okay.
Okay, go ahead. - All right.
Hey, guys, you wanna see
the Pigeon's drawing?
Yeah. Here we go.
Pretty good.
- That's how I see myself. Yeah.
- Not what I expected,
but it's great.
- Thank you.
- Okay. I have a question.
Does your picture
look like mine?
No. That's a good thing.
That means you draw in your
own personal drawing style.
So let's say
maybe you're someone...
Can I borrow this drawing?
Maybe you're someone
who likes to draw big heads.
Right? That's very good.
Thank you.
Or... Oh. Maybe you're someone
who likes to draw small birds
and their name really big.
Right? That's great.
Maybe you're someone
who's influenced by Cy Twombly.
Right? That's really great.
Thank you.
Or... Let's see.
Maybe you're someone
who just can't stop
making drawings.
Look at all these drawings.
Oh, my goodness.
This one's very realistic
as well.
I like yours.
How about you guys up there
in the balcony? Can I see?
Oh, wow. And on the second
balcony, I see you guys.
Those are incredible.
What I love
about all these pigeons
is that they all
look so different,
and that means that you guys
are creating
and developing
your own personal drawing style.
Now, for you grown-ups,
it's too late.
No, it isn't. It isn't really.
Please draw. Please get caught
drawing with your kids.
It is a physical eyes
form of empathy.
One more time. You guys mind
holding up your pictures?
Let's see those pictures!
Wow! Look at that.
It's crazy the amount of
pictures. It's so awesome. Wow.
Everybody give yourself
a big round of applause
for a job well done.
- Are we finally ready
for my story?
- Yes. Yes.
It looks like
you're ready for it.
- Oh, this old thing?
Oh, I built it in my backyard.
- All right.
- All right.
So, Pigeon,
this is our last story,
so I think it should be
a really good one.
- I think so, too.
- You have any ideas?
- I would like to read
from the classic "The Pigeon
Gets Everything He Wants
Exactly When He Wants It"...
...and its various sequels
and spinoffs.
- Well, I, uh... I don't think
I've written that book.
- Well, you should have.
- Get to it, "arup, arup" boy.
- Okay, well, I actually thought
for a last story
that the audience
would like to hear this book.
"Don't let the Pigeon
Drive the Bus."
I say personally I find that
book to be a downer, but fine.
- Here's a question
for my audience.
Can you say "no"? - No!
The answer's yes, I can say no,
but that's fine. That was good.
Let's hear you say "no!"
- No!
- Oh, come on.
- Pigeons have little ears.
Let's hear you say "no!"
- No!
- Pigeons can be
very persuasive.
Let's hear you say "no!"
- No!
- You guys are ready. Okay.
Here we go.
I...
am going to be
the bus driver. Okay?
- Okay.
Yeah, sure. Mo.
- Yeah.
- Who should I be?
- I was kind
of thinking, um, the Pigeon.
- Narrow casting choice,
but okay.
- All right.
Are you ready for a story?
- Yeah!
- Do it.
- ...by him!
Oh! Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
Wow! Buses.
I love buses.
I wanna marry them.
- Hi. I'm the bus driver.
I've got to leave
for a little while,
so can you watch things for me
until I get back?
- Sure. Yeah. Right.
- Yeah, we can do that.
Sure. Uh-huh.
- Thanks. Oh, and remember,
don't let the Pigeon
drive the bus.
I haven't really figured out
where I'm going. I'm just going.
- Would you get
out of here already!
Ah, I thought he'd never leave.
Say, uh, can I drive the bus?
No!
- Please?
- No!
- I'll-I'll be careful.
Okay, I'll tell you what.
I'll tell you what.
I will just steer.
Well, my cousin Herb
drives a bus
almost every day.
But... But it's a true story.
Vroom! Vroom! Vroom!
Vroomy-vroom-vroom!
Pigeon at the wheel!
No?
I never get to do anything.
Ooh, I got an idea.
Let's play Drive the Bus.
I'll go first.
Oh, come on.
Just once around the block.
We have now reached
the rapid-fire round.
I'll be your best friend.
How about I'll give you 5 bucks?
What's the big deal?
It's just a bus.
No fair.
I'll bet your mom would let me.
I have dreams, you know.
Fine. Fine.
Fine!
Inhale.
Let me drive the bus!
- I'm back.
- Ohh!
- You didn't let the Pigeon
drive the bus, did you?
Great. Thanks a lot.
- Ohh!
- Beep. Beep.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
- All my dreams
reversing out of my life.
- Beep. Beep. Beep.
- Hey.
Can I drive that truck?
Really?
Aw, feathers.
- The end!
- Wow!
The Pigeon! - Thank you.
The Pigeon,
ladies and gentlemen.
Before we go...
Before we go, please,
can I ask anyone
in this Kennedy Center space
who is a teacher or librarian
to raise their hands.
Teachers and librarians,
raise your hands.
I want you to keep 'em up.
Because I want you
to see what it's like.
Not so easy, is it?
Yeah. I'm not gonna
give you my attention.
No, it's a little bit there,
but I still don't see you. No.
All right, everybody else,
give these guys
a round of applause.
Thank them for what they do
every day.
Thank you.
And thanks, Mr. Fred Newman.
The Pigeon!
- Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
- The Storytime All-Stars!
Wow! Amazing! And thank you.
A book doesn't work
unless you read it.
Thank you!
Bye!
- Big bow! Big bow!
- Big bow! Big bow!
Thank you!
- Good job, guys.
- That was a good show.
- It was fun. It was fun.
- Great show.
- Oh, I'm gonna lie down.
- Oh, I'm tired.
- Okay.
Oh, you had a big day today.
You had a big show,
and you guys all did great.
Okay, so get some rest.
We'll see you. Okay.
Sleep tight.
Can I get a drink of water?
Hmm.
- Hey, Mo! Hey, Mo!
- Oh, hi.
- Hey, Mo.
Hee hee hee hee!
- Take care. Okay, bye.
Hello!
Wow!
Hello!
How you doing?
Hello up there! Wow!
Look at you guys!
You look great!
Wow. Hello!
Welcome to the Kennedy Center.
Unbelievable.
Wow.
My name is Mo Willems.
And I...
am a balloon salesman.
- No!
- No. All right.
Try again.
My name is Mo Willems.
And I am a corporate attorney
specializing in tax affairs.
No!
All right.
Let's try one more time.
My name is Mo Willems.
And I...
am an author/illustrator.
Yes.
And that is really cool,
because that means
I have something in common
with you guys. Do you guys
like to make up stories?
Yeah!
- Do you like to draw?
- Yeah!
Well, then you are
author/illustrators
just like me.
Yeah. That's cool.
The only difference between
what you do and what I do
is that you don't have
to give a percentage
to a woman named Marcia.
Look, I'm so excited
to be here today
because you know
what we're gonna do?
We're gonna read stories.
We're gonna sing songs.
We're gonna draw.
And we have this amazing cast
of the Storytime All-Stars.
Yeah. Amazing.
So, kids, here's the thing about
the Storytime All-Stars.
They're very famous.
They're very, very funny.
But you really should have
no idea who they are...
...or any familiarity
with their work.
Seriously, guys. Kids,
if you recognize any of them,
your parents are doing it wrong.
But they're so nice
and they are so funny,
so let's pretend like we're
excited that they're here, okay?
Yeah. Right. Okay, here we go.
Our extensive and wide-ranging
music and special effects
department...
Mr. Fred Newman.
Let's give a big "sure we
know who you are" welcome
to Tony Hale!
What?
You know what would be awesome?
Discovering the comedy stylings
of someone
like Yvette Nicole Brown!
Now, I know you didn't see him
in that thing,
because that thing
was not G-rated at all.
But how cool is it
that we have Mr. Thomas Lennon?
You know, I bet
that somewhere out there,
there's a funny person
named Rachel Dratch!
You know who sounds like
they might be a nice person?
Oscar Nuñez!
A show like this
would not be completely awesome
if we didn't have Greta Lee!
What? Greta Lee.
One day when you're
much, much older,
you'll be a fan
of Cameron Esposito!
What's up?
Now, what are the chances
that someone
you shouldn't have heard of
but is a really big deal
is here?
Pretty good, if that someone
is Anthony Anderson!
- Make some noise!
- There's more? There can't be
unless it's Natalie Morales!
The Storytime All-Stars!
Oh, wow.
What an amazing cast
of total strangers.
All right. You guys
wanna hear a story? All right.
Let's start with Leonardo,
the Terrible...
- No, no, no!
- What? What?
No, no, no. No, no.
At rehearsal,
we said we're doing Leonardo.
- No, the Pigeon, Mo.
- Right behind you.
- I don't even...
I don't... What?
I don't see it.
- There's a pigeon there, Mo!
It's... Oh!
Pigeon.
What are you doing here? Scram.
- I'll be back.
- Your pal, Mo Willems,
presents...
- ...by me.
- Leonardo was
a terrible monster.
- He couldn't scare anyone.
- Aw!
So cute.
- He didn't have 1,642 teeth
like Tony.
- I have a lot of teeth,
and I'm okay with that.
Not all teeth shown.
- He wasn't big like Eleanor.
- Bbb! Bbb! Bbb!
Bbb! Bbb!
- It's a living.
- Bbb! Bbb! Bbb! Bbb!
- And he wasn't just
plain weird, like Hector.
- Flippy floppy
floopy floopy pants.
Abba zabba zow zinga!
- Leonardo tried very hard
to be scary.
- I'm in a bag.
- But he just wasn't.
- Ahhh.
- One day, Leonardo had an idea.
He would find
the most scaredy-cat kid
in the whole world
and scare the tuna salad
out of him.
- Tuna salad.
- Leonardo researched.
- Too passive.
- Whish.
- Too aggressive.
- Whish.
- Choose me or not,
I don't care.
- Too passive-aggressive.
- Until he found
the perfect candidate.
- Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh.
- Sam.
- Leonardo snuck up
on the poor, unsuspecting boy.
- Sneak.
Sneak. Sneaky-sneaky.
Sneaky-sneaky-sneak.
- And the monster
gave it all he had.
- Ahhhhhhh.
- Until the little boy cried.
- Ma-ma-ma waaaaaaaahh!
- ...cheered Leonardo.
- I did it.
I finally scared the tuna salad
out of someone.
- No, you didn't...
- ...snapped Sam.
- Oh, yeah?
- ...replied Leonardo.
- Then why are you crying?
- Ladies and gentlemen,
Tony Hale. Tony Hale.
- Then Leonardo made
a very big decision.
- Instead of being
a terrible monster,
he would become
a wonderful friend.
- It's okay.
- Ah.
- Ah!
- But that didn't mean
that he couldn't try
and scare his friend
every now and then.
- Huh?
- Aah!
- I'm gonna get ya.
I'm gonna get ya.
I'm gonna get ya.
- The end.
- What a story!
Whoo!
- Hey. Hey, uh, Mo.
I have a question that just
occurred to me this very moment.
- Oh. Okay, Rachel.
- Okay.
Is it K-nuffle Bunny
or Nuffle Bunny? Right?
I mean, everyone
wants to know that, right?
- That's a good question.
Okay, so here's the answer.
It all depends
on how you pronounce it.
No, actually,
I pronounce it K-nuffle,
because Knuffle is a Dutch word.
It means "hug" or "snuggle."
And my family
is originally from Holland.
- Oh. Okay. That makes sense.
- Is Knuffle Bunny a true story?
- Oh, that's
a very good question, Oscar.
- Thank you.
- How many people
in the audience
think that Knuffle Bunny
is a true story?
Raise your hand.
Oh. A lot.
How many people think
that I made up the story
of Knuffle Bunny?
Raise your hand.
Oh, yeah. All right.
All right.
Here's the real answer.
Everything in the Knuffle Bunny
stories is true
except for the parts
that I made up.
And that's the great thing
about making up stories.
You can start
with something that's real
and then just make stuff up
and get away with it. Right?
For instance, you can make up
a story like this.
You can make up
a story called...
Go a little like this.
Today was an awesome day.
I saw Mo Willems
at the Kennedy Center.
Mo was funny.
- Yeah.
- Mo was cool.
- Yeah.
- All right.
- Mo was a snazzy dresser.
And modest.
- No.
- No.
- All right.
But mostly Mo was wise.
We estab... Okay.
- While Mo was on stage
in this particular story
being really funny
and cool and wise,
his head popped off.
- Pop. Whish.
- Ouch.
- That's okay, Anthony.
It's okay.
'Cause he grew another one.
And that one popped off.
- Pop. Whish.
- Ow. Ouch again.
- No, no. No, it's okay again.
Because he grew another one.
That popped off. - Pop. Whish.
- And another.
- Pop. Whish.
- And another.
- Pop. Whish.
- And another. And another.
Until the whole Kennedy Center
started filling up
with Mo Willems's head.
Luckily, I had
my surfboard with me.
So I jumped on top of the wave
of Mo Willems's head.
I burst out
of the Kennedy Center,
went all the way
through Washington, D.C.
until the Supreme Court
building.
The end.
Are you guys ready
to hear this kind of made-up,
kind of true story?
- Yeah!
- All right.
Here we go.
Before we even begin,
we see all
these important pictures
from this real,
not-real family's life.
- It's a man and a woman
and they're getting married.
- And here are
the man and woman again,
and it looks like
they just had a baby.
- That baby is crying.
- And now the man and the woman
are in front of a house.
- And there's Trixie
hugging her Knuffle Bunny.
- ...by me.
- Not so long ago before
she could even speak words,
Trixie went on an errand
with her daddy.
- Trixie and her daddy
went down the block...
- Uh-huh.
- ...through the park...
- Oh, yeah.
- ...past the school...
- ...and into the Laundromat.
- Trixie helped her daddy put
the laundry into the machine.
- She even got to put
the money into the machine.
- Then they left.
- But a block or so later...
- ...Trixie realized something.
- Trixie turned to her daddy
and said...
- Yeah. That's right.
- Replied her daddy.
- We're going home.
- Said Trixie again.
- Yeah.
No, come on,
please don't get fussy.
- Said her daddy.
- Well, she had no choice.
Trixie bawled.
- She went boneless.
- She did everything she could
to show how unhappy she was.
- By the time they got home...
- ...her daddy was unhappy, too.
- As Trixie's mommy
opened the door,
she said,
"Where's Knuffle Bunny?"
- The whole family
ran down the block.
- It's okay. It's gonna be okay.
- And they ran through the park.
They zoomed past the school...
- Everything's fine.
- ...and into the Laundromat.
Trixie's daddy looked
for Knuffle Bunny and looked.
- And looked.
- And looked.
- And looked.
But Knuffle Bunny
was nowhere to be found.
- So Trixie's daddy
decided to look harder.
- Yes, he did.
- Until...
And those were the first words
that Trixie ever said.
- The end.
Uh...
- That dramatic story
has inspired me to, uh,
sing a dramatic song.
A song of Trixie's
heartache and pain.
A song that needs to be sung...
...by me.
This song is dedicated
to all the stuffies out there.
You know who you are,
even if you don't know
where you are.
- Wow.
Anthony, that was very, very...
Beautiful is not the right word,
but, yeah, it's pretty close.
- Thank you. Thank you, Greta.
- You know, we could also do it
as a sing-along.
- Oh, I love sing-alongs.
- Oh, I love sing-alongs.
- I love sing-alongs,
and I have ears.
- All right. Now, kids,
if you can't read the words,
don't worry. Just make them up.
Mo did.
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
- Big finish, everybody!
- Thanks, everybody!
You were great.
- Amazing.
- I'm ready for another story.
- Yeah. An alphabet story.
- Oh, well, you guys
are in luck,
because according
to regulation ABC-15,
everyone children's book author
is required to produce
at least one alphabet book
in his or her career.
And mine is entitled...
- Ooh! That's me. That's me.
- Rachel Dratch.
You guys ready for a story?
All right.
Here we go.
Creature, look.
There's the alphabet.
- Spoiler alert!
- A!
- Apples!
- B!
- Berries!
- Ooh.
- C!
- Cereal!
- Ahh!
- D!
- Doughnuts!
- Ooh!
Doughnut. Doughnut.
Doughnut. Doughnut. Doughnut.
Doughnut. Doughnut. Doughnut.
- E!
- Eggs.
- F!
- Furniture?
- Ooh!
Chippendale.
- G!
- Gravy.
- H!
- Huge hot-sauce halibut hoagie!
- Ooh.
So halibutty!
- I!
- Ice cream.
- Ooh!
Brain freeze!
J!
- Jacket.
- Ooh!
Ooh!
Burberry flavored.
- K!
- Kilt.
- Ooh!
Commando!
- L!
- Lunch box.
Ah! It's the least
important meal of the day.
- M!
- Mayonnaise.
- Ooh.
- Oh.
- Oh, that... that's disgusting.
- Ahh!
- N!
- Napkin.
- O!
- Oohhhhhhhhhh!
I don't feel so good.
- P!
- Potty!
- Uh-huh. Hold it in.
Hold it in.
- Yep.
- Q!
- Queasy?
- Quite.
- Oh.
- R.
- Rice?
- S.
- Saltines?
- Nibble. Nibble. Nibble.
- T.
- Tea?
- U.
- Ugh.
- V.
- Vomit.
- W!
- Water?
X!
- XO XO XO.
Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.
- Dad.
- Y!
- Yawn!
- Z!
- Zzzzonked.
- Z end!
- Let's hear it
for Rachel Dratch.
Mr. Fred Newman!
All right.
- We did that one by the letter.
I'm a dad.
I am someone's dad.
I can say things like that.
Would you like to hear
one of my favorite books,
featuring one
of my favorite characters?
Favorite character.
All-time favorite character.
- The Pigeon!
- The what?
- The pigeon!
- The... What?
No, no, no.
It's a favorite book. Aah!
- Get on with it already.
Waiting is not easy.
That's right. I was talking
about "Waiting is not Easy!"
starring Elephant and Piggie.
One of my favorite books.
- Aw, feathers! Aw.
- Okay. You guys ready
for a story?
- Yeah!
- Yes.
- Oh. By me.
- Gerald, I have
a surprise for you.
- Yay! What is it?
- The surprise... is a surprise.
- Oh. Is it big?
- Yes.
- Is it pretty?
- Yes.
- Can we share it?
- Yes!
- I cannot wait.
- You will have to.
- Wha... Wait. Why?
- The surprise is not here yet.
- So I will have to wait for it?
- Yes.
- Oh, well, if I have to wait,
I will wait.
I am waiting.
Waiting is not easy.
Piggie, I want to see
your surprise now.
- I'm sorry, Gerald,
but we must wait.
I am done waiting.
I do not think your surprise
is worth all this waiting.
I will not wait anymore.
Okay, I will wait some more.
- It will be worth it.
- Whoo!
- Piggie!
We have waited too long.
It's getting dark.
It is getting darker.
Soon we will not be able
to see each other.
Soon we will not
be able to see anything.
We have wasted the whole day.
- Well, um...
- We have waited and waited
and waited and waited.
And for what?
- For that.
- This was worth the wait.
- I know.
- Tomorrow morning
I want to show you the sunrise.
- I cannot wait.
- Zee end.
- Ladies and gentlemen,
a song from the "Elephant
& Piggie" musical...
"We Are in a Play."
What I'm trying to say is
that you're better than any toy.
- Well, thank you, Piggie.
- Oh, that's nice.
Oh.
- Look, guys.
Oh!
Now it is time
for something really exciting.
We are all going to draw
one of my characters together.
And we are going to draw...
- The pigeon!
- What? No, no.
- Pigeon!
- That's right. We are going
to draw the Pigeon.
But why do you keep
saying "Pigeon"?
- Pigeon!
- I don't understand.
What's happening?
What's going on here? Aah!
Pigeon.
- Hi, Mo.
- What are you doing here?
Don't you know the title
of the show is
"Don't let the Pigeon
do Storytime"?
- "Don't let the Pigeon
do Storytime"?
Aw, feathers.
- Oh. Pigeon, Pigeon.
- What?
- Don't be too sad.
Listen. How about this
as a deal?
- What?
- We will read
- a special story...
- Okay.
Just for you
after the drawing demonstration.
- Drawing? I love drawing.
I started out as one, you know.
- Yeah. Actually, I did.
- You were there.
- I was there. Yeah.
- I remember.
The guy with the hand.
- It's the one with the pen.
All right. Let's get drawing.
The cast and crew are gonna
go out into the audience
and hand out paper and crayons
for everybody.
It's gonna be awesome.
And if you are watching
on a screen,
you press "pause." Not yet.
But go out.
Grab some pencils or paper
and crayons,
and make sure you get some
for the grown-ups in the room.
Okay, you're ready?
We're gonna pause. And... pause.
Un-pause.
- Here we go.
- That's okay. It's okay.
It's okay. The pigeon...
The pigeon is gonna draw
with you and the grown-ups.
Is that okay?
- Yeah, I got my crayon
and my paper all ready.
- All right.
So...
anybody can draw a cartoon.
A cartoon
is just a bunch of shapes
put together in the right order,
right?
All you have to know
is how to write your name,
'cause your name
is a bunch of letters
put together in the right order.
And letters are shapes
that you know how to draw.
So when you're writing
your name,
you're making a cartoon.
Oh, wait.
Here's the other thing.
I forgot this.
This is really important.
Your drawing will look better
if you have fun.
All right.
On the top of our page,
we're gonna draw
a big letter "O."
Letter "O."
- Good.
- Now, inside that letter "O,"
we're going to draw
a second smaller letter "O."
Letter "O."
- Letter "O."
- It kind of looks
like a doughnut.
- Whoo.
- Okay. Now you have the choice
between the letter "M," for Mo,
or the letter "W," for Willems.
Your choice.
Do it sideways.
Letter "M."
And you have a beak.
Now we have come to the most
important part of the drawing...
Where the eyeball goes.
The eye is the window
of the soul.
If I draw a character
with a smile but sad eyes,
they're still sad.
So if I put my eye up here,
he's cheeky.
If I put my eye down here,
he's sad.
If I put my eye in the middle,
he's freaked out.
All right?
I'm in the Kennedy Center
dressed, for me, fancily,
with some amazing talent.
I'm going for freaked out.
I'm going in the middle.
You draw yours
the way you want to.
But darken it in.
Darken it in,
because you always look at the
darkest part of a drawing first,
and I want you
to see the eye first.
Okay?
We have two lines
going down for the neck.
Arup! Arup!
- Arup! Arup! Arup!
- Anthony's got the idea. Did
you hear him go "arup, arup"?
Do you know why he did that?
Very important reason.
'Cause it's fun.
How many chances in the day
do you get to go "arup, arup"
and get away with it? Right?
All right. Let's do two across
for the collar. Ready?
Ehnn! Ehnn!
- Ehnn! Ehnn!
- Now we have come
to my favorite shape
because I invented it.
See, Mo Willems
patented circ-angle.
What's a circ-angle you ask?
- What's a circ-angle?
- A circ-angle is a circle
that halfway through its life
changes its mind and decides
to become a triangle.
Ready? Here we go.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh...
I'm a circle. I'm a circle.
I'm a circle. I'm a circle.
I'm a circle.
I'll just be a triangle.
All right.
You guys have got the idea.
Let's do two more lines and get
those "arup-arups" in. Ready?
Arup! - Arup!
- Arup!
- Arup!
- Arup! Okay.
My favorite expression
is "va-va-voom."
You do the three "V's."
The first two little ones
are feet... letter "V," va.
Letter "V," va. - Va.
- And now a long one
for the wing.
A va-voom.
- Va-voom. Looks good.
- You think we're done?
No? Not yet.
We forgot
the most important part.
Write your name
so everyone knows
that you made this drawing.
- "The Pigeon."
- Right?
Okay, everybody,
hold up your pigeons.
Let me see those pigeons.
Wow!
That's great.
I love it. I love it.
Oh. That's awesome.
Hey, Pigeon. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Do you mind
if I show your pigeon?
- Let me just finish.
- Okay. Okay.
Okay, go ahead. - All right.
Hey, guys, you wanna see
the Pigeon's drawing?
Yeah. Here we go.
Pretty good.
- That's how I see myself. Yeah.
- Not what I expected,
but it's great.
- Thank you.
- Okay. I have a question.
Does your picture
look like mine?
No. That's a good thing.
That means you draw in your
own personal drawing style.
So let's say
maybe you're someone...
Can I borrow this drawing?
Maybe you're someone
who likes to draw big heads.
Right? That's very good.
Thank you.
Or... Oh. Maybe you're someone
who likes to draw small birds
and their name really big.
Right? That's great.
Maybe you're someone
who's influenced by Cy Twombly.
Right? That's really great.
Thank you.
Or... Let's see.
Maybe you're someone
who just can't stop
making drawings.
Look at all these drawings.
Oh, my goodness.
This one's very realistic
as well.
I like yours.
How about you guys up there
in the balcony? Can I see?
Oh, wow. And on the second
balcony, I see you guys.
Those are incredible.
What I love
about all these pigeons
is that they all
look so different,
and that means that you guys
are creating
and developing
your own personal drawing style.
Now, for you grown-ups,
it's too late.
No, it isn't. It isn't really.
Please draw. Please get caught
drawing with your kids.
It is a physical eyes
form of empathy.
One more time. You guys mind
holding up your pictures?
Let's see those pictures!
Wow! Look at that.
It's crazy the amount of
pictures. It's so awesome. Wow.
Everybody give yourself
a big round of applause
for a job well done.
- Are we finally ready
for my story?
- Yes. Yes.
It looks like
you're ready for it.
- Oh, this old thing?
Oh, I built it in my backyard.
- All right.
- All right.
So, Pigeon,
this is our last story,
so I think it should be
a really good one.
- I think so, too.
- You have any ideas?
- I would like to read
from the classic "The Pigeon
Gets Everything He Wants
Exactly When He Wants It"...
...and its various sequels
and spinoffs.
- Well, I, uh... I don't think
I've written that book.
- Well, you should have.
- Get to it, "arup, arup" boy.
- Okay, well, I actually thought
for a last story
that the audience
would like to hear this book.
"Don't let the Pigeon
Drive the Bus."
I say personally I find that
book to be a downer, but fine.
- Here's a question
for my audience.
Can you say "no"? - No!
The answer's yes, I can say no,
but that's fine. That was good.
Let's hear you say "no!"
- No!
- Oh, come on.
- Pigeons have little ears.
Let's hear you say "no!"
- No!
- Pigeons can be
very persuasive.
Let's hear you say "no!"
- No!
- You guys are ready. Okay.
Here we go.
I...
am going to be
the bus driver. Okay?
- Okay.
Yeah, sure. Mo.
- Yeah.
- Who should I be?
- I was kind
of thinking, um, the Pigeon.
- Narrow casting choice,
but okay.
- All right.
Are you ready for a story?
- Yeah!
- Do it.
- ...by him!
Oh! Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
Wow! Buses.
I love buses.
I wanna marry them.
- Hi. I'm the bus driver.
I've got to leave
for a little while,
so can you watch things for me
until I get back?
- Sure. Yeah. Right.
- Yeah, we can do that.
Sure. Uh-huh.
- Thanks. Oh, and remember,
don't let the Pigeon
drive the bus.
I haven't really figured out
where I'm going. I'm just going.
- Would you get
out of here already!
Ah, I thought he'd never leave.
Say, uh, can I drive the bus?
No!
- Please?
- No!
- I'll-I'll be careful.
Okay, I'll tell you what.
I'll tell you what.
I will just steer.
Well, my cousin Herb
drives a bus
almost every day.
But... But it's a true story.
Vroom! Vroom! Vroom!
Vroomy-vroom-vroom!
Pigeon at the wheel!
No?
I never get to do anything.
Ooh, I got an idea.
Let's play Drive the Bus.
I'll go first.
Oh, come on.
Just once around the block.
We have now reached
the rapid-fire round.
I'll be your best friend.
How about I'll give you 5 bucks?
What's the big deal?
It's just a bus.
No fair.
I'll bet your mom would let me.
I have dreams, you know.
Fine. Fine.
Fine!
Inhale.
Let me drive the bus!
- I'm back.
- Ohh!
- You didn't let the Pigeon
drive the bus, did you?
Great. Thanks a lot.
- Ohh!
- Beep. Beep.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
- All my dreams
reversing out of my life.
- Beep. Beep. Beep.
- Hey.
Can I drive that truck?
Really?
Aw, feathers.
- The end!
- Wow!
The Pigeon! - Thank you.
The Pigeon,
ladies and gentlemen.
Before we go...
Before we go, please,
can I ask anyone
in this Kennedy Center space
who is a teacher or librarian
to raise their hands.
Teachers and librarians,
raise your hands.
I want you to keep 'em up.
Because I want you
to see what it's like.
Not so easy, is it?
Yeah. I'm not gonna
give you my attention.
No, it's a little bit there,
but I still don't see you. No.
All right, everybody else,
give these guys
a round of applause.
Thank them for what they do
every day.
Thank you.
And thanks, Mr. Fred Newman.
The Pigeon!
- Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
- The Storytime All-Stars!
Wow! Amazing! And thank you.
A book doesn't work
unless you read it.
Thank you!
Bye!
- Big bow! Big bow!
- Big bow! Big bow!
Thank you!
- Good job, guys.
- That was a good show.
- It was fun. It was fun.
- Great show.
- Oh, I'm gonna lie down.
- Oh, I'm tired.
- Okay.
Oh, you had a big day today.
You had a big show,
and you guys all did great.
Okay, so get some rest.
We'll see you. Okay.
Sleep tight.
Can I get a drink of water?