Don't Be Tardy... (2012) - full transcript
It's only been a year since Kim Zolciak's million dollar wedding to the Atlanta Falcons Defensive End Kroy Biermann, but a lot has changed in the newlyweds' life. This season, their family ...
- Previously
on "Don't Be Tardy"...
- Aren't we all excited
for this road trip?
- Oh, my God!
- That is huge!
- This is our home
- for five weeks.
Process that.
- It's gonna be fun.
[upbeat music]
- I gotta finish
- loading the box truck.
- I gotta get
- all the girls' totes.
- I still have to build
- the rack for your wigs.
[power tool whirring]
- Wigs galore, honey.
Let's go!
Whoo!
- First stop is Nashville.
- And then we're gonna go
see my Aunt Laurie in Ohio.
Good night.
[gentle guitar music]
♪ ♪
- So excited for breakfast.
What are you making us, Bloom?
- Making some eggs.
♪ ♪
- You guys, could you come back
- with some real sticks?
You guys, do not go in there.
There's snakes and bears
back there, please.
- Like, why would we just not
- go to Waffle House?
- Just ask them
- for eggs with no butter.
Like, this is a lot of work.
So, anyways, we'll do
a little shopping today,
- and then we've gotta
- hit the road for real.
We're so excited
to sightsee in Nashville,
but we're headed to Ohio.
- We're gonna see
- my Aunt Laurie
Which I haven't seen her in...
Actually, since I got married.
But it is so far away,
- so we're going to make
- a little pit stop in Nashville,
- And then we're gonna
- head to Ohio.
- Do you remember Aunt Laurie,
- Brielle and Ariana?
- Yes.
- She gives us the
- cookie recipes, I know that.
- Yeah, all the good
- family recipes.
[chuckles]
- My Aunt Laurie is one
- of the only people
I speak to
from my side of the family.
- Are you excited
- to meet Aunt Laurie?
- No.
- Finally some family, dude.
- None of us... they don't
- even know that they have...
They don't know what family is.
- I just tell people
- that you're my mom
And that Mom's my grandma.
- [laughs]
- That makes so much sense.
- That's weird.
Kroy and I don't really talk
- to either one
- of our extended families.
You know, I don't talk to my
parents since we got married.
- You get him out of here.
- I'm not playing.
Then shortly thereafter,
my mom sold these fake stories
to different media outlets.
- [sobs]
- The one way to get to me
- is to mess with my kids,
And it's a very easy plug
for me to pull.
- Kroy said that we're
- not allowed to eat the yolks.
- The yolk?
- Yeah, isn't that what it is?
- The yolk, the yolk?
- The yolk, is it spelled
Y-O-K-E like woke?
- The L is silent.
- Or is it Y-O-L-K like yolk?
- [laughs]
- Kaia, you want some eggs?
- Go ahead, honey.
- There it is.
- Oh, my God!
- No, Kaia, it's fine.
- Wait, it is literally
- a bug in this.
You cooked that bug
into the eggs.
- It's not a bug.
Let me see.
- Tracey, it has wings.
- It's ash.
Yeah, you can eat it.
Now tell me what you think
of the eggs. Be honest.
- Kaia, just so you know,
- we're girly girls and we
- do not eat bugs, baby, okay?
- Unless it's covered in
- chocolate, we don't eat bugs.
- Be honest.
Take a bite.
- I love it.
- You'll be poopin' out bugs
- for weeks.
- You eat that bug?
Who are you...
- Ahh!
- Hey, hey!
- Kash Biermann.
- [cries]
- No more breakfast.
- Wait, I've just
- finished breakfast.
- Okay, well, plate it up.
Let's go. We're done.
- Oh!
[upbeat country rock music]
- Let's do this.
Start sightseeing.
- I feel like we're in
New Orleans or something.
It's crazy here.
Who doesn't love Nashville?
Like, I love country music.
I do love cowboy hats
and cowboy boots.
I love Nashville.
Come on, you guys.
- This is
the cutest place ever.
- You love this.
♪ ♪
Kroy lives for this.
♪ ♪
- Those are actually
- kind of cute.
Look at you. You look so cute.
- What about a hat?
- You're not gonna get a hat?
- I want a hat.
That's your style.
That looks like Crocodile
Dundee. You know who that is?
- Yeah.
Do those fit, KJ?
They look huge.
- Never thought
I'd have a cowboy.
You got Kroy Biermann blood.
- Come on, I want a hat.
- Oh, oh, - this guy wants
To be Matthew McConaughey
so bad, yo.
- Ariana, look at
- Matthew McConaughey outside.
Look at him, please.
- Oh, my God.
- Ariana, this guy just
- walked by. Go grab him.
- Matthew McConaughey
- just walked outside.
- Get out there.
- Go get him.
- I'm... I can't leave
- with my hat.
- Oh, leave your hat.
- He's gone.
He's long gone at this rate.
- I'll never find
- my knight in shining armor.
- Oh, wait, he's down there
- in the black shirt
- With the long hair.
- You see him?
- Get him, Ariana.
- Bring him back.
- Go get my man!
- Go get him.
- Go, cowgirl.
- Wait till you see this chap.
[record needle scratches]
- This is not
- Matthew McConaughey.
- [laughing]
- This may be his dad.
- Look at Ariana
- talking to him.
- Oh, my God.
- My sister
thinks you're so hot.
- We're each other's
best wingwomen.
I sent her out to get Matthew
McConaughey because, I mean,
- I'm not gonna
- go get the man of my dreams.
He's gotta be brought to me.
- I got him for you!
- What's happening?
- What is it?
- Hey!
- Casey.
- Brielle, nice to meet you.
- Brielle is single
- and ready to mingle.
What are you doing?
- Oh, you're a singer?
- You're a singer?
- Oh.
- And so you're just
Nashville singing or what?
- Oh, good for you.
- Oh, that's awesome.
- Thank you.
- Maybe he realizes that
- she's closer in age
- to him than I am.
Nice meeting you.
- He's like,
"Wow, she's 53. I'm 82.
We good."
- He's like,
- "These are your daughters?
- Great.
- So, um..."
- "You have pretty eyes."
- It's like,
- "Hey, look at hers."
Come on, cowboy.
- All right, come on.
- Let's go.
Thank you so much.
♪ ♪
- We gotta go right down here.
♪ ♪
- I don't know
- what to do here.
- Why didn't you
- go to college here?
I need to go at least
500 miles away from my parents.
Nashville is too close.
♪ ♪
- Here we go.
- Wait here, babies.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my Lord.
- This is heaven.
Oh, my God.
- Don't touch. Don't touch.
- Just look.
- Look at all this candy.
- Okay, you guys
- can get one thing.
- Mom, Mom, I'm getting that.
- I'm getting that.
- Mommy, Daddy.
- Dad!
- Because it has candy.
- That's the most candy
that I ever seen.
Mommy, Mommy!
- The candy that I love most
is the apple with candy on it.
- Mom said we get one thing.
This is what we're getting:
bacon-and-cheese crickets.
[crickets chirp]
- [laughs]
- Is that a joke?
- Kroy, would you eat those?
- I dare you to eat those.
- I don't think they're real.
- Are they real?
- Oh, they are real?
- Oh!
- I'll eat it right now.
I'll eat it right now.
- I gotta get a nice juicy one.
- That one's
- even got a tail fork.
- Ugh!
- Bottoms up.
- Go.
- You gotta crunch five times.
- Ahh!
- Crunch!
- [crunching]
- Tracey, Tracey.
- Oh, oh!
- Tracey.
- Do you taste cheddar?
- Ugh.
- A little bit of bacon?
- What's it taste like?
- Can I have some fudge?
[laughter]
- You're disgusting.
- Okay, can we get
- another sample?
- Oh, my God, I love fudge.
You know, my aunt makes fudge.
- The one we're
- going to see in Ohio,
- That's what she sends me
- every year.
- Oh, well, let's pick some up.
- Without talking to your
family, it's always hard.
- I can't just - call my parents
- And just talk to them,
- you know?
- But my Aunt Laurie's
- always been supportive of me,
- So for my kids
- to be able to meet her
And spend time with her
- is really the most important
- thing for me.
- All right, let's go.
- I'm not moving.
- KJ?
- I'm not moving.
- Come on, babe.
- I will not move.
- Mom!
- I don't know what's going on.
Coming up next...
Oh, my God, Kentucky Downs.
Come on, Daddy.
Please, five minutes!
- Babe, we're not pulling over.
- Dad, don't do it.
- [chuckles]
- Please, Kroy.
[upbeat country music]
♪ ♪
- So gross in here.
There's bugs everywhere.
- Oh, God,
- you're stressing me out
- The more and more
- you talk about it.
- How'd you sleep last night,
- chicken?
- I slept great. Me and Kane
- cuddled all night long.
- Oh, well, that's great.
- I'm glad you had
- a wonderful experience
Because Kaia was hitting me,
kicking me.
- I have to share a bed
- with Kaia.
She's crazy when she sleeps.
- She's nuts when she sleeps.
- She's literally, like, boom.
- Yeah.
- Why don't we
- just sleep together?
- I don't want to be
- that close with you.
- Well, we are gonna
be living together next year.
- No, because
I'm going with her.
- I don't know why you
- wouldn't want to live with me
- Because we already
- live together, so, like...
- Exactly.
Exactly, Brielle.
- Is it that bad?
- Yes.
- Your leeway
- to move out of the house
Is me moving out.
- Yes.
- [laughs]
- Are you excited
- to meet Aunt Laurie?
- I've never met her
- that I can remember.
- Like, I had to have been,
- like, five.
- It might be good
to see some family, though,
- 'cause, you know,
- we don't really have any.
Ariana has no clue who any
of these family members are.
- It's very hard
- to keep track of these people
That we don't speak to.
I'm ready to get out of here,
to be honest.
- But I love Nashville,
- but we're ready to go to Ohio,
So let's go.
♪ ♪
[horn honks]
Let's go, dude.
- Come on.
- Okay, are we ready?
We're officially on the way.
- Bye, KOA.
- Ohio, here we come!
All: Whoo!
♪ ♪
- So Aunt Laurie, and then
we're out of Ohio, huh?
- You leave after Ohio?
- I'm going to Kentucky
and leaving from there.
I would love to stay
for the whole trip,
but my priorities have
changed a little this year.
- Someone else is more important
- than the Biermanns.
- Tracey is a mom of Kannon.
He is now a little
over a year old.
- She's done really incredible.
- I'm really proud of her.
- I never could've imagined
my life being so amazing.
It's so full of love,
and I'm so happy.
- Tracey being out with us
- on this RV trip,
- It's, like,
- a nice break for her,
The first break she's had
in over a year
to sleep in a little bit later,
get a little bit of rest,
and just be a chef.
We're gonna miss her,
- but we know that she has
- a responsibility now.
I don't want you to leave.
- Yeah, well,
- I need to go make sure
- that little boy remembers me.
- Oh, he doesn't forget,
like I told you.
Oh, my God, casino.
Kroy, exit 65 north,
Kentucky Downs gaming.
- Please,
- if you just let me go in
- For five minutes
- to a slot machine.
- We have a schedule,
- and because
- there's a lot of things
That we want to get done
and see on this trip...
The Grand Canyon.
- I wanna hopefully
- take 'em horseback riding.
We're going through the Ozarks.
- Come on, Daddy.
Please, five minutes!
- Next exit!
- Please, Kroy!
- Babe, we're not pulling over.
- But let's be realistic.
- Any other area
- other than Vegas,
- I'm gonna be - thinking Vegas.
- Yeah.
- Kroy, please.
I need five minutes.
- We have Vegas.
- [laughing] Vegas...
Ooh, sorry. Vegas.
Sorry, baby.
Ten minutes, five spins, out.
- If I believed that,
- I would pull over.
- Pull over!
I pinky swear on my life.
- Dad, don't do it, Dad!
- Don't do it.
- KJ, be quiet.
- Don't do it!
- I swear on my life.
- Don't you lie to me.
- Whoo!
- We're goin' to the casino!
[all cheering]
- Mom gambles a lot.
She gets a lot of money.
- She gets, like,
- a million dollars.
[all cheering]
- [claps]
- This is it, baby,
- right here.
- I'll be cheering you guys on
from the RV with the kids.
- I'm gonna start a timer.
- Okay.
- For 13 minutes.
- No, 15,
- 'cause it'll take me 5
- to get to the door.
- It's not gonna take you 5
minutes to get to the door.
- Get out, go!
- Get started!
- Wait up. Wait up. There
- might be hot guys in there.
- Come on, Brielle!
We only have 13 minutes.
[peaceful music]
- Nine minutes, huh?
Oh, ho, ho, ho!
- Tick, tock, tick, tock.
- Are they coming?
- No.
[bell rings]
- I'm gonna go check on 'em.
- I'll be right back, okay?
- I was in, 15 minutes, out.
- No, you weren't.
You were not on time.
- You don't know how much
- that's gonna cost you.
- You won?
- No, I spent.
- [groans]
Okay, here we go.
- Thanks for stopping, baby.
- You're welcome.
[engine chugs]
♪ ♪
- Everything is calm now.
- All right.
That's all it took.
♪ ♪
- Look how many bugs
- there are.
- There's a lot of bugs, right?
We need to hit a rainstorm
- so we can actually
- get rid of some of the bugs.
- Yeah, look at how dark
those clouds are.
That's how you know
a rainstorm is coming.
♪ ♪
Dad, it's getting dark.
[thunder booms]
- I'm fine.
A little gusty, the wind.
- This front seat is hell.
- All right.
[thunder booms]
- The (BLEEP) was that?
- Lightning.
[thunder echoes]
- Kroy, you good?
- It's, like,
- blowing right at us.
- It's pouring rain,
like, another level.
- This is one of
- the worst storms
- That I've
- ever had to deal with,
- And it's not safe
- for anybody anymore.
We're gonna have to pull over
- and sleep on the side
- of the road.
- Kroy, park right here on
the side of the road for now.
I have my precious cargo
in this RV,
so I'm scared to death.
Like, we're gonna die.
[thunder cracks]
- Coming up next...
- It looks
- really nice out here,
Except I'm gonna get a tick.
[laughter]
I might have Lyme disease.
- Do you even know
- what a tick is?
[peaceful music]
♪ ♪
- [whines]
- I know, Kane.
Food's coming.
- I'm super hungry.
- Last night, there's
- literally, like, a tornado.
[thunder cracks]
- So we had to pull over and
- sleep on the side of the road.
Oh, hold on.
Brielle's here, hold on.
- Our food's right here.
- The storm, it was
like I was in a bad movie.
- You always have
- to think, like,
- What if this 18-wheeler
- loses a tire
- Or what if they
- slam on their brakes?
We have all this
55,000 pounds of steel to stop,
so it stresses me out.
- All right.
- KOA Ohio, here we come!
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
- So, KJ,
- the first chance he gets
- To sneak into the driver's
- seat, he does.
- He's gonna need my help
for sure.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
RV park!
- Oh, we're here!
Yay!
[all cheering]
[horn honks]
- Toot, toot,
- the Biermanns are here.
- Here we go.
We're pulling in.
[quirky music]
- It looks really nice
- out here,
Except I'm gonna get a tick.
[laughter]
I had a tick
when we went camping.
- I woke up,
- and there was one on my back
- And I went to the dermatologist
- to get it removed.
They actually were like,
- "I don't know
- if this is a tick or not."
But they, like, sliced it off
like it was one.
- Do you even know
- what a tick is?
- Kroy,
- Brielle had a tick on her?
- No, you did not.
- Yes, I did, I swear to God.
- I went in, and she had
- to, like, burn it off of me.
- We're off, yep.
- Let's go, KJ.
- But we're not gonna run.
- Guys, we have bigger issues.
I might have Lyme disease.
- We're gonna wait
- for a second.
- Jaw pain, mood changes.
- Oh, my God, you may have
- difficulty concentrating
In school or at work?
- She thinks
- she has Lyme disease now.
- Dude, you don't have...
- You don't...
- Every symptom, I have.
- [laughs]
- Do you have trouble walking?
- Yeah, I run into everything.
- [laughs]
- I hate the outdoors.
- It doesn't even smell
- that good out there, like,
It's so polluted, I feel
fresher and cleaner inside.
[cell phone rings]
- Oh, here's my Aunt Laurie.
- Hold on.
- [shushes]
- Go for it.
- Put her on speaker.
- Hi.
- Hello, how are you?
- Good, how are you?
- Good.
- I'm, like,
- literally in the boonies.
I have no idea where I am, um...
- We're surprised
- we even have cell service.
- We're surprised
- we even have cell service.
This is not my vibe.
I will see you, like,
5:00, 5:15.
- Okay.
- All right, see you soon.
All right, honey, bye.
- See ya, bye.
- Bye-bye.
- Oh, she's sweet, right?
- Yeah.
- I just have always
- had a really great relationship
With my Aunt Laurie.
She gets me as a person.
She just kind of always
has accepted me for who I am.
- It's really funny that her
- and I have connected so much
Because she's, like, smart
- to the point where
- it's almost, like, awkward.
- She knows every answer
- to "Jeopardy!"
Which is, like...
I know maybe one.
[upbeat music]
- Time to go!
- [yells]
We'll go. We'll meet you there.
- Oh, my God.
♪ ♪
Let's just go.
- What's funny is,
- there's no traffic here.
- How far are we away
- from your grandma?
- Ten minutes.
My grandma?
- Grandma, yeah.
- It's my Aunt Laurie.
She's only met KJ, and you were
six months old at the wedding.
The littles don't really ask
about our extended family
- because it's not really been
- a part of their life.
They don't really have
any curiosity about it.
That's why I want my kids
to have these memories
of my Aunt Laurie.
- Destination
is on your right.
- So there it is right there,
- Jeff Ruby's Steakhouse.
Okay, you guys, we're gonna
be on our best behavior.
Come on, Daddy.
Coming up next...
- Your grandpa had some
medical stuff going on.
- My dad?
- Mm-hmm.
- No one told us?
- That's horrible.
- Jesus Christ.
[upbeat music]
- Best behavior.
- Best behavior.
- You gotta pull...
- Well, it doesn't say to pull.
- Shh.
- Hey.
- Hi, how are you?
- Biermann?
- Biermanns, party of 100.
- It seemed.
- It's been so long since
you've seen any of your family.
- Aunt Laurie is probably not
- gonna know you from Kim.
- Wait, are you saying
I look like I'm 41?
- I'm saying y'all look 41.
- There's Kroy.
- Hi, how are you?
Good to see you.
- You too, yeah.
- Hi!
How are you?
- So good to see you.
- Been too long.
- I know,
- it's been way too long.
- Let me say hi to KJ.
- KJ.
- Hi, I'm Laurie.
Oh, hug.
How sweet.
- Sit down. Sit down.
This is really pretty.
- Can you believe
- I have redheaded children?
- Yes.
- Is that not crazy?
- The best thing ever.
- I feel like KJ has
- from the, like, here down...
Our side for sure.
- You think so?
- I feel like Kaia
- looks just like my mother
When she was younger,
and she has Kroy's eyes.
- She's gonna be a model.
- Ariana,
- you going to college?
- Yeah.
- Where you going?
- I wanna go to California,
- somewhere there.
I'm ready to get out, though.
- Yeah.
- I wanna move. I'm sick of it.
- With her.
- She's gonna come with me.
- Now that Ariana's
- going to college next year,
I feel like I can make the move
- because I don't want
- to go alone.
- I moved out
- and I moved back home
- Because I love my family
- so much.
- Well, I hope you get there.
- Hope it works out.
- Me too.
- Oh, I was looking
- for my purse...
- Oh, my God, your jam?
- Uh-huh.
- Stop it right now.
- Oh, you made her jam?
- Strawberry.
- She's... her fudge,
the cookies, I'll never forget.
- That's one thing,
- I think of my mom
I think of, like,
- the Christmas music
- and all the baking.
Brielle has every year asked me
to make those cookies,
but they're not easy to make.
- You can come to Ohio.
- We have a cookie party
- every year.
- Oh.
- Whatever, it is what it is.
- Who cares?
- I'm past all that.
- I'm fine.
- That's too bad.
- Do you at all
hear how we tried to reconcile?
- No.
- Brielle and Ariana know
- that they can reach out
- to my parents at any point.
- They had a relationship
- with them.
I don't stop my kids
from any of that.
- The relationship
- that's strained
- Is between my parents
- and myself.
- I just haven't seen you
- in six years,
And I feel like if you
really wanted to see us...
- You know what, Brielle?
It's just not gonna work.
- But it just - didn't work out.
- How is Nana and Poppy doing?
Like, are they good?
[dramatic music]
- Uh, your grandpa had
some medical stuff going on.
- My dad?
- Mm-hmm.
- What?
- He had cancer.
- What?
- My dad?
- Mm-hmm.
- That's horrible.
- Jesus Christ.
- Oh, my God.
- Next time
- on "Don't Be Tardy"...
- Mom, don't cry.
- I'm just so upset
- about my dad.
I don't know what to say.
- We're gonna see the Arch.
- You can get in there
- and look up.
- We are not going in the Arch,
not happening.
- Kentucky, here we come!
- We're stuck.
- Between last night's dinner
- and now this, I'm done.
For more "Don't Be Tardy,"
- Can I just know why
- you guys think I stink?
- Because
- you don't take a shower.
- Yes.
- That's why you stink.
- Real talk.
- Get out. Get out. Get out.
- You literally are
- smelling up the whole room.
- Ugh.
- I literally shower
- more than you.
on "Don't Be Tardy"...
- Aren't we all excited
for this road trip?
- Oh, my God!
- That is huge!
- This is our home
- for five weeks.
Process that.
- It's gonna be fun.
[upbeat music]
- I gotta finish
- loading the box truck.
- I gotta get
- all the girls' totes.
- I still have to build
- the rack for your wigs.
[power tool whirring]
- Wigs galore, honey.
Let's go!
Whoo!
- First stop is Nashville.
- And then we're gonna go
see my Aunt Laurie in Ohio.
Good night.
[gentle guitar music]
♪ ♪
- So excited for breakfast.
What are you making us, Bloom?
- Making some eggs.
♪ ♪
- You guys, could you come back
- with some real sticks?
You guys, do not go in there.
There's snakes and bears
back there, please.
- Like, why would we just not
- go to Waffle House?
- Just ask them
- for eggs with no butter.
Like, this is a lot of work.
So, anyways, we'll do
a little shopping today,
- and then we've gotta
- hit the road for real.
We're so excited
to sightsee in Nashville,
but we're headed to Ohio.
- We're gonna see
- my Aunt Laurie
Which I haven't seen her in...
Actually, since I got married.
But it is so far away,
- so we're going to make
- a little pit stop in Nashville,
- And then we're gonna
- head to Ohio.
- Do you remember Aunt Laurie,
- Brielle and Ariana?
- Yes.
- She gives us the
- cookie recipes, I know that.
- Yeah, all the good
- family recipes.
[chuckles]
- My Aunt Laurie is one
- of the only people
I speak to
from my side of the family.
- Are you excited
- to meet Aunt Laurie?
- No.
- Finally some family, dude.
- None of us... they don't
- even know that they have...
They don't know what family is.
- I just tell people
- that you're my mom
And that Mom's my grandma.
- [laughs]
- That makes so much sense.
- That's weird.
Kroy and I don't really talk
- to either one
- of our extended families.
You know, I don't talk to my
parents since we got married.
- You get him out of here.
- I'm not playing.
Then shortly thereafter,
my mom sold these fake stories
to different media outlets.
- [sobs]
- The one way to get to me
- is to mess with my kids,
And it's a very easy plug
for me to pull.
- Kroy said that we're
- not allowed to eat the yolks.
- The yolk?
- Yeah, isn't that what it is?
- The yolk, the yolk?
- The yolk, is it spelled
Y-O-K-E like woke?
- The L is silent.
- Or is it Y-O-L-K like yolk?
- [laughs]
- Kaia, you want some eggs?
- Go ahead, honey.
- There it is.
- Oh, my God!
- No, Kaia, it's fine.
- Wait, it is literally
- a bug in this.
You cooked that bug
into the eggs.
- It's not a bug.
Let me see.
- Tracey, it has wings.
- It's ash.
Yeah, you can eat it.
Now tell me what you think
of the eggs. Be honest.
- Kaia, just so you know,
- we're girly girls and we
- do not eat bugs, baby, okay?
- Unless it's covered in
- chocolate, we don't eat bugs.
- Be honest.
Take a bite.
- I love it.
- You'll be poopin' out bugs
- for weeks.
- You eat that bug?
Who are you...
- Ahh!
- Hey, hey!
- Kash Biermann.
- [cries]
- No more breakfast.
- Wait, I've just
- finished breakfast.
- Okay, well, plate it up.
Let's go. We're done.
- Oh!
[upbeat country rock music]
- Let's do this.
Start sightseeing.
- I feel like we're in
New Orleans or something.
It's crazy here.
Who doesn't love Nashville?
Like, I love country music.
I do love cowboy hats
and cowboy boots.
I love Nashville.
Come on, you guys.
- This is
the cutest place ever.
- You love this.
♪ ♪
Kroy lives for this.
♪ ♪
- Those are actually
- kind of cute.
Look at you. You look so cute.
- What about a hat?
- You're not gonna get a hat?
- I want a hat.
That's your style.
That looks like Crocodile
Dundee. You know who that is?
- Yeah.
Do those fit, KJ?
They look huge.
- Never thought
I'd have a cowboy.
You got Kroy Biermann blood.
- Come on, I want a hat.
- Oh, oh, - this guy wants
To be Matthew McConaughey
so bad, yo.
- Ariana, look at
- Matthew McConaughey outside.
Look at him, please.
- Oh, my God.
- Ariana, this guy just
- walked by. Go grab him.
- Matthew McConaughey
- just walked outside.
- Get out there.
- Go get him.
- I'm... I can't leave
- with my hat.
- Oh, leave your hat.
- He's gone.
He's long gone at this rate.
- I'll never find
- my knight in shining armor.
- Oh, wait, he's down there
- in the black shirt
- With the long hair.
- You see him?
- Get him, Ariana.
- Bring him back.
- Go get my man!
- Go get him.
- Go, cowgirl.
- Wait till you see this chap.
[record needle scratches]
- This is not
- Matthew McConaughey.
- [laughing]
- This may be his dad.
- Look at Ariana
- talking to him.
- Oh, my God.
- My sister
thinks you're so hot.
- We're each other's
best wingwomen.
I sent her out to get Matthew
McConaughey because, I mean,
- I'm not gonna
- go get the man of my dreams.
He's gotta be brought to me.
- I got him for you!
- What's happening?
- What is it?
- Hey!
- Casey.
- Brielle, nice to meet you.
- Brielle is single
- and ready to mingle.
What are you doing?
- Oh, you're a singer?
- You're a singer?
- Oh.
- And so you're just
Nashville singing or what?
- Oh, good for you.
- Oh, that's awesome.
- Thank you.
- Maybe he realizes that
- she's closer in age
- to him than I am.
Nice meeting you.
- He's like,
"Wow, she's 53. I'm 82.
We good."
- He's like,
- "These are your daughters?
- Great.
- So, um..."
- "You have pretty eyes."
- It's like,
- "Hey, look at hers."
Come on, cowboy.
- All right, come on.
- Let's go.
Thank you so much.
♪ ♪
- We gotta go right down here.
♪ ♪
- I don't know
- what to do here.
- Why didn't you
- go to college here?
I need to go at least
500 miles away from my parents.
Nashville is too close.
♪ ♪
- Here we go.
- Wait here, babies.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my Lord.
- This is heaven.
Oh, my God.
- Don't touch. Don't touch.
- Just look.
- Look at all this candy.
- Okay, you guys
- can get one thing.
- Mom, Mom, I'm getting that.
- I'm getting that.
- Mommy, Daddy.
- Dad!
- Because it has candy.
- That's the most candy
that I ever seen.
Mommy, Mommy!
- The candy that I love most
is the apple with candy on it.
- Mom said we get one thing.
This is what we're getting:
bacon-and-cheese crickets.
[crickets chirp]
- [laughs]
- Is that a joke?
- Kroy, would you eat those?
- I dare you to eat those.
- I don't think they're real.
- Are they real?
- Oh, they are real?
- Oh!
- I'll eat it right now.
I'll eat it right now.
- I gotta get a nice juicy one.
- That one's
- even got a tail fork.
- Ugh!
- Bottoms up.
- Go.
- You gotta crunch five times.
- Ahh!
- Crunch!
- [crunching]
- Tracey, Tracey.
- Oh, oh!
- Tracey.
- Do you taste cheddar?
- Ugh.
- A little bit of bacon?
- What's it taste like?
- Can I have some fudge?
[laughter]
- You're disgusting.
- Okay, can we get
- another sample?
- Oh, my God, I love fudge.
You know, my aunt makes fudge.
- The one we're
- going to see in Ohio,
- That's what she sends me
- every year.
- Oh, well, let's pick some up.
- Without talking to your
family, it's always hard.
- I can't just - call my parents
- And just talk to them,
- you know?
- But my Aunt Laurie's
- always been supportive of me,
- So for my kids
- to be able to meet her
And spend time with her
- is really the most important
- thing for me.
- All right, let's go.
- I'm not moving.
- KJ?
- I'm not moving.
- Come on, babe.
- I will not move.
- Mom!
- I don't know what's going on.
Coming up next...
Oh, my God, Kentucky Downs.
Come on, Daddy.
Please, five minutes!
- Babe, we're not pulling over.
- Dad, don't do it.
- [chuckles]
- Please, Kroy.
[upbeat country music]
♪ ♪
- So gross in here.
There's bugs everywhere.
- Oh, God,
- you're stressing me out
- The more and more
- you talk about it.
- How'd you sleep last night,
- chicken?
- I slept great. Me and Kane
- cuddled all night long.
- Oh, well, that's great.
- I'm glad you had
- a wonderful experience
Because Kaia was hitting me,
kicking me.
- I have to share a bed
- with Kaia.
She's crazy when she sleeps.
- She's nuts when she sleeps.
- She's literally, like, boom.
- Yeah.
- Why don't we
- just sleep together?
- I don't want to be
- that close with you.
- Well, we are gonna
be living together next year.
- No, because
I'm going with her.
- I don't know why you
- wouldn't want to live with me
- Because we already
- live together, so, like...
- Exactly.
Exactly, Brielle.
- Is it that bad?
- Yes.
- Your leeway
- to move out of the house
Is me moving out.
- Yes.
- [laughs]
- Are you excited
- to meet Aunt Laurie?
- I've never met her
- that I can remember.
- Like, I had to have been,
- like, five.
- It might be good
to see some family, though,
- 'cause, you know,
- we don't really have any.
Ariana has no clue who any
of these family members are.
- It's very hard
- to keep track of these people
That we don't speak to.
I'm ready to get out of here,
to be honest.
- But I love Nashville,
- but we're ready to go to Ohio,
So let's go.
♪ ♪
[horn honks]
Let's go, dude.
- Come on.
- Okay, are we ready?
We're officially on the way.
- Bye, KOA.
- Ohio, here we come!
All: Whoo!
♪ ♪
- So Aunt Laurie, and then
we're out of Ohio, huh?
- You leave after Ohio?
- I'm going to Kentucky
and leaving from there.
I would love to stay
for the whole trip,
but my priorities have
changed a little this year.
- Someone else is more important
- than the Biermanns.
- Tracey is a mom of Kannon.
He is now a little
over a year old.
- She's done really incredible.
- I'm really proud of her.
- I never could've imagined
my life being so amazing.
It's so full of love,
and I'm so happy.
- Tracey being out with us
- on this RV trip,
- It's, like,
- a nice break for her,
The first break she's had
in over a year
to sleep in a little bit later,
get a little bit of rest,
and just be a chef.
We're gonna miss her,
- but we know that she has
- a responsibility now.
I don't want you to leave.
- Yeah, well,
- I need to go make sure
- that little boy remembers me.
- Oh, he doesn't forget,
like I told you.
Oh, my God, casino.
Kroy, exit 65 north,
Kentucky Downs gaming.
- Please,
- if you just let me go in
- For five minutes
- to a slot machine.
- We have a schedule,
- and because
- there's a lot of things
That we want to get done
and see on this trip...
The Grand Canyon.
- I wanna hopefully
- take 'em horseback riding.
We're going through the Ozarks.
- Come on, Daddy.
Please, five minutes!
- Next exit!
- Please, Kroy!
- Babe, we're not pulling over.
- But let's be realistic.
- Any other area
- other than Vegas,
- I'm gonna be - thinking Vegas.
- Yeah.
- Kroy, please.
I need five minutes.
- We have Vegas.
- [laughing] Vegas...
Ooh, sorry. Vegas.
Sorry, baby.
Ten minutes, five spins, out.
- If I believed that,
- I would pull over.
- Pull over!
I pinky swear on my life.
- Dad, don't do it, Dad!
- Don't do it.
- KJ, be quiet.
- Don't do it!
- I swear on my life.
- Don't you lie to me.
- Whoo!
- We're goin' to the casino!
[all cheering]
- Mom gambles a lot.
She gets a lot of money.
- She gets, like,
- a million dollars.
[all cheering]
- [claps]
- This is it, baby,
- right here.
- I'll be cheering you guys on
from the RV with the kids.
- I'm gonna start a timer.
- Okay.
- For 13 minutes.
- No, 15,
- 'cause it'll take me 5
- to get to the door.
- It's not gonna take you 5
minutes to get to the door.
- Get out, go!
- Get started!
- Wait up. Wait up. There
- might be hot guys in there.
- Come on, Brielle!
We only have 13 minutes.
[peaceful music]
- Nine minutes, huh?
Oh, ho, ho, ho!
- Tick, tock, tick, tock.
- Are they coming?
- No.
[bell rings]
- I'm gonna go check on 'em.
- I'll be right back, okay?
- I was in, 15 minutes, out.
- No, you weren't.
You were not on time.
- You don't know how much
- that's gonna cost you.
- You won?
- No, I spent.
- [groans]
Okay, here we go.
- Thanks for stopping, baby.
- You're welcome.
[engine chugs]
♪ ♪
- Everything is calm now.
- All right.
That's all it took.
♪ ♪
- Look how many bugs
- there are.
- There's a lot of bugs, right?
We need to hit a rainstorm
- so we can actually
- get rid of some of the bugs.
- Yeah, look at how dark
those clouds are.
That's how you know
a rainstorm is coming.
♪ ♪
Dad, it's getting dark.
[thunder booms]
- I'm fine.
A little gusty, the wind.
- This front seat is hell.
- All right.
[thunder booms]
- The (BLEEP) was that?
- Lightning.
[thunder echoes]
- Kroy, you good?
- It's, like,
- blowing right at us.
- It's pouring rain,
like, another level.
- This is one of
- the worst storms
- That I've
- ever had to deal with,
- And it's not safe
- for anybody anymore.
We're gonna have to pull over
- and sleep on the side
- of the road.
- Kroy, park right here on
the side of the road for now.
I have my precious cargo
in this RV,
so I'm scared to death.
Like, we're gonna die.
[thunder cracks]
- Coming up next...
- It looks
- really nice out here,
Except I'm gonna get a tick.
[laughter]
I might have Lyme disease.
- Do you even know
- what a tick is?
[peaceful music]
♪ ♪
- [whines]
- I know, Kane.
Food's coming.
- I'm super hungry.
- Last night, there's
- literally, like, a tornado.
[thunder cracks]
- So we had to pull over and
- sleep on the side of the road.
Oh, hold on.
Brielle's here, hold on.
- Our food's right here.
- The storm, it was
like I was in a bad movie.
- You always have
- to think, like,
- What if this 18-wheeler
- loses a tire
- Or what if they
- slam on their brakes?
We have all this
55,000 pounds of steel to stop,
so it stresses me out.
- All right.
- KOA Ohio, here we come!
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
- So, KJ,
- the first chance he gets
- To sneak into the driver's
- seat, he does.
- He's gonna need my help
for sure.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
RV park!
- Oh, we're here!
Yay!
[all cheering]
[horn honks]
- Toot, toot,
- the Biermanns are here.
- Here we go.
We're pulling in.
[quirky music]
- It looks really nice
- out here,
Except I'm gonna get a tick.
[laughter]
I had a tick
when we went camping.
- I woke up,
- and there was one on my back
- And I went to the dermatologist
- to get it removed.
They actually were like,
- "I don't know
- if this is a tick or not."
But they, like, sliced it off
like it was one.
- Do you even know
- what a tick is?
- Kroy,
- Brielle had a tick on her?
- No, you did not.
- Yes, I did, I swear to God.
- I went in, and she had
- to, like, burn it off of me.
- We're off, yep.
- Let's go, KJ.
- But we're not gonna run.
- Guys, we have bigger issues.
I might have Lyme disease.
- We're gonna wait
- for a second.
- Jaw pain, mood changes.
- Oh, my God, you may have
- difficulty concentrating
In school or at work?
- She thinks
- she has Lyme disease now.
- Dude, you don't have...
- You don't...
- Every symptom, I have.
- [laughs]
- Do you have trouble walking?
- Yeah, I run into everything.
- [laughs]
- I hate the outdoors.
- It doesn't even smell
- that good out there, like,
It's so polluted, I feel
fresher and cleaner inside.
[cell phone rings]
- Oh, here's my Aunt Laurie.
- Hold on.
- [shushes]
- Go for it.
- Put her on speaker.
- Hi.
- Hello, how are you?
- Good, how are you?
- Good.
- I'm, like,
- literally in the boonies.
I have no idea where I am, um...
- We're surprised
- we even have cell service.
- We're surprised
- we even have cell service.
This is not my vibe.
I will see you, like,
5:00, 5:15.
- Okay.
- All right, see you soon.
All right, honey, bye.
- See ya, bye.
- Bye-bye.
- Oh, she's sweet, right?
- Yeah.
- I just have always
- had a really great relationship
With my Aunt Laurie.
She gets me as a person.
She just kind of always
has accepted me for who I am.
- It's really funny that her
- and I have connected so much
Because she's, like, smart
- to the point where
- it's almost, like, awkward.
- She knows every answer
- to "Jeopardy!"
Which is, like...
I know maybe one.
[upbeat music]
- Time to go!
- [yells]
We'll go. We'll meet you there.
- Oh, my God.
♪ ♪
Let's just go.
- What's funny is,
- there's no traffic here.
- How far are we away
- from your grandma?
- Ten minutes.
My grandma?
- Grandma, yeah.
- It's my Aunt Laurie.
She's only met KJ, and you were
six months old at the wedding.
The littles don't really ask
about our extended family
- because it's not really been
- a part of their life.
They don't really have
any curiosity about it.
That's why I want my kids
to have these memories
of my Aunt Laurie.
- Destination
is on your right.
- So there it is right there,
- Jeff Ruby's Steakhouse.
Okay, you guys, we're gonna
be on our best behavior.
Come on, Daddy.
Coming up next...
- Your grandpa had some
medical stuff going on.
- My dad?
- Mm-hmm.
- No one told us?
- That's horrible.
- Jesus Christ.
[upbeat music]
- Best behavior.
- Best behavior.
- You gotta pull...
- Well, it doesn't say to pull.
- Shh.
- Hey.
- Hi, how are you?
- Biermann?
- Biermanns, party of 100.
- It seemed.
- It's been so long since
you've seen any of your family.
- Aunt Laurie is probably not
- gonna know you from Kim.
- Wait, are you saying
I look like I'm 41?
- I'm saying y'all look 41.
- There's Kroy.
- Hi, how are you?
Good to see you.
- You too, yeah.
- Hi!
How are you?
- So good to see you.
- Been too long.
- I know,
- it's been way too long.
- Let me say hi to KJ.
- KJ.
- Hi, I'm Laurie.
Oh, hug.
How sweet.
- Sit down. Sit down.
This is really pretty.
- Can you believe
- I have redheaded children?
- Yes.
- Is that not crazy?
- The best thing ever.
- I feel like KJ has
- from the, like, here down...
Our side for sure.
- You think so?
- I feel like Kaia
- looks just like my mother
When she was younger,
and she has Kroy's eyes.
- She's gonna be a model.
- Ariana,
- you going to college?
- Yeah.
- Where you going?
- I wanna go to California,
- somewhere there.
I'm ready to get out, though.
- Yeah.
- I wanna move. I'm sick of it.
- With her.
- She's gonna come with me.
- Now that Ariana's
- going to college next year,
I feel like I can make the move
- because I don't want
- to go alone.
- I moved out
- and I moved back home
- Because I love my family
- so much.
- Well, I hope you get there.
- Hope it works out.
- Me too.
- Oh, I was looking
- for my purse...
- Oh, my God, your jam?
- Uh-huh.
- Stop it right now.
- Oh, you made her jam?
- Strawberry.
- She's... her fudge,
the cookies, I'll never forget.
- That's one thing,
- I think of my mom
I think of, like,
- the Christmas music
- and all the baking.
Brielle has every year asked me
to make those cookies,
but they're not easy to make.
- You can come to Ohio.
- We have a cookie party
- every year.
- Oh.
- Whatever, it is what it is.
- Who cares?
- I'm past all that.
- I'm fine.
- That's too bad.
- Do you at all
hear how we tried to reconcile?
- No.
- Brielle and Ariana know
- that they can reach out
- to my parents at any point.
- They had a relationship
- with them.
I don't stop my kids
from any of that.
- The relationship
- that's strained
- Is between my parents
- and myself.
- I just haven't seen you
- in six years,
And I feel like if you
really wanted to see us...
- You know what, Brielle?
It's just not gonna work.
- But it just - didn't work out.
- How is Nana and Poppy doing?
Like, are they good?
[dramatic music]
- Uh, your grandpa had
some medical stuff going on.
- My dad?
- Mm-hmm.
- What?
- He had cancer.
- What?
- My dad?
- Mm-hmm.
- That's horrible.
- Jesus Christ.
- Oh, my God.
- Next time
- on "Don't Be Tardy"...
- Mom, don't cry.
- I'm just so upset
- about my dad.
I don't know what to say.
- We're gonna see the Arch.
- You can get in there
- and look up.
- We are not going in the Arch,
not happening.
- Kentucky, here we come!
- We're stuck.
- Between last night's dinner
- and now this, I'm done.
For more "Don't Be Tardy,"
- Can I just know why
- you guys think I stink?
- Because
- you don't take a shower.
- Yes.
- That's why you stink.
- Real talk.
- Get out. Get out. Get out.
- You literally are
- smelling up the whole room.
- Ugh.
- I literally shower
- more than you.