Dolceroma (2019) - full transcript

Yes, it's me...

"I'm the protagonist of this story".

Sounds like a useless affirmation

you want to believe

when you feel the urgent need

to take charge of your life.

"I'm the protagonist of this story".

The perfect quote to have tattooed

on your forearm.

But often we forget about

a very important thing.

That if there's a story,

there's also a writer.

Someone with the power

to decide what's happened

and what's about to happen.

Well...

I didn 't just want to be the protagonist,

I wanted to be the writer.

No, that doesn't make sense.

Just six months ago I was flabby,

dorky and depressed.

This is me... Andrea Serrano, 29,

aspiring writer.

PLOT TWIST NEEDED

I was neither the writer nor the

protagonist.

I just had a blurry walk-on part

in someone else's life.

THIS GUY'S A BORE

I WANNA SCRAM

ls "scram" spelt with a K ?

- No.

- But only one M, right?

You're okay with me seeing

other guys, right?

'Cause we're not an item !

Maybe the final walk-on part

in their already useless Iives.

The way they died usually

made no sense.

"Died on the way to his

40th birthday party.

Run over by the van delivering

his cake."

You're not paid to read the reports !

Get the inspiration for your stories

from elsewhere !

Know how lucky you are ?

Loads of people want to be

corpse washers !

Loads!

Don't you also think that your life

is just a series of coincidences ?

That everything that happens to you

is devoid of any beauty.

Scenes from a story with no protagonist

and with no writer.

That's the problem.

A story cannot be created by chance,

because chance is just shitty slime.

I've enjoyed doing drama series

but now I feel that I need...

a powerful story.

It can be tragic or dramatic.

Maybe of social value.

But it has to be good.

IT DOESN'T END HERE

That's why you're still listening

to me.

To my story.

You're looking for the meaning

your lives lack.

What's the expression ?

"Take charge of your life".

How many times have you tried ?

A diet you saw in a gossip mag

to increase energy levels.

A new look

"to redefine yourself".

But I'm sure the thing

you didn't do

was spend the last of your savings

to publish a book

that only sold 188...

187 copies.

It was no good...

nothing changed.

Don'tjust stand there !

Clean up that filth, move it !

Come on !

I could replace you in a flash

with Dede.

He's much more suited to this job

than you.

Hello ?

Andrea Serrano ?

It's Oscar Martello, the producer.

read your book, I'd like to meet you.

This is the plot twist that

I was talking about.

Oscar Martello, one of the most

important producers in Rome.

Which, besides, is the only place

in Italy where films are made.

They say he never sleeps

and like all those who are filthy rich

he's unhappy, especially at night.

But in the day he steams straight ahead

even when there's a bend in the road.

With the typical attitude of those who

want to leave their mark on the world.

He came from nothing

and conquered Rome,

as well as marrying

one of the richest ladies around.

Two daughters: Cleo and Zoe,

and although his affection

for them is debatable,

he wants to protect them from

the mark

he wishes to leave on the world.

Perhaps this is why he can't sleep.

No, ltold him that...

Yes, he agreed ! He...

He just needs to sign

then we'll all agree to it...

Rodolfo, write this:

"She's asleep on the bed, half-naked.

Outside: the sound of cicadas.

It is night. Suddenly a shadow appears,

she jumps up,

she turns around, sees a skeletal hand,

jumps off the bed,

runs along a really long corridor

followed by thousands of shadows.

She runs towards a car that explodes.

Title: 'City of Shadows'.

A series by Oscar Martello.

Did you get that ?

- But I'm not Rodolfo.

- Who the fuck are you ?

It's Ronaldo,

the writer of the drama series.

Fuck off! Call Rodolfo,

give him the film plot, we'll make money.

Life's too short !

We'll sleep when we're dead.

Oscar has never read an entire book,

but he knows men,

he knows women,

and he knows what they both want.

- Hello, are you there ?

- Yes.

What are you waiting for ?

Come over, we're throwing a huge party

tonight.

All the big shots from the film world

will be here !

- Where ?

- At my house, in Rome !

Just get to the station, jump in a taxi

and say: "Martello's party".

300 pages, I ain't reading that,

for fuck's sake !

Dede, what is there after death ?

After death...

there's techno music.

Serrano.

Here you are.

Mr Martello will see you in his study.

Fiore, take the gentleman through.

That's Picasso work !

No, it's Mr Martello's.

Yes, no, I meant...

You know why I bought your book ?

I liked the colour of the cover.

I wanted to ask my upholsterer

to make some curtains

of the same colour.

Wouldn't that look great?

You know what this dull grey is called ?

Nimbus.

Then I read the first 30 pages

and I thought: "This will make

a great film !"

Are you thinking of buying the rights

or will I be involved in the project,

sir ?

Did you call me "sir" ?

You called me "sir" !

Oscar! Our guests are waiting, honey.

Remo's here too now.

Remo Golia.

Italy's biggest film distributor.

The hermaphrodite called me "sir".

Nimbus !

Oh, this is my wife.

Oscar likes to make people

feel awkward

so he can call the shots.

I'm Helga.

Andrea. Andrea Serrano.

Look who's here !

80, animal, how are you ?

I liked it!

Your story is amazing.

Her getting revenge on the Camorra.

The distributor will love it too.

Remo !

- Oscar !

- Remo, my friend !

How are you ?

Have you got the project for that maddo

who calls me every day ?

Don't worry, it's all under control !

No, you don't get it.

If we don't make a film with her,

she'll have us jailed !

I have a fantastic project !

Come meet your film's distributor.

Remo Golia, Oscar...

What's your goddamn name ?

I forgot.

No, I'm Oscar!

He'll release 400 copies

and you'll be a star.

Helga, look who's here,

our dear friend Remo.

- Have some food, it's a honey-based menu.

- Made by me !

You're obsessed with honey !

I can't stand it !

I started out as a runner

for a guy called Pasquale Razzi.

Do you know him ?

Pasquale Razzi was a producer,

he'd snort the entire budget of the film

even before shooting started.

He had two passions:

pussy and cocaine.

And he died like a jerk.

- Are you having fun ?

- Loads.

I wanted to know if you had any ideas

about the cast, the director...

You're talking shop now ?

Have some fun !

This is "Sweet Rome", you see ?

I wasn't the writer of this story yet.

Otherwise the chance to fulfil my dream

would've been slightly different.

Was I really ready to risk losing my

reassuring and miserable same old life ?

Jacaranda Ponti, the actress,

was a part of the dream

that I hadn't taken into account.

Italian TV dramas are crap,

they're fake, overly-slick, dead.

Don't you agree ?

Why are you here ?

Well, I'm...

a writer, Andrea Serr...

I meant why are you here, outside ?

Are you leaving ?

Maybe.

How about you ?

- Why are you here ? Are you bored ?

- Maybe.

No, ljust hate these parties.

They keep offering me roles

in TV dramas,

like nuns who reunite divorcees...

Brave mothers who rescue immigrants

with dinghy boats.

Too beautiful to be real.

Seems like something worth

taking a risk for.

But be careful,

she's the type who promises you heaven,

scrambles your brain with Ketamine

then drinks it through a straw.

Whereas Oscar promises you hell,

takes you there

then leaves you the bill to pay.

Enjoy.

I have a great project for you.

An extraordinary film,

a brilliant story.

I'm not lying.

Not really.

Open the door, bastard !

LeIIo Jovine.

I'd forgotten about him.

I know you're in there !

A Camorra gangster working for Northern

Italy's biggest criminal organization.

He was a regular client of ours.

He'd managed to persuade my boss

to dispose of

the surplus goods

their business produced.

I read this shitty book.

The problem is he never shut up.

He tried to run away but

we were right on his heels.

He talked and I took notes

for my book on the Camorra.

And it doesn't end here.

You're a crap writer !

And you've told everyone our business,

you bastard !

So when will you sign the contract ?

Don't tell me you were scared by Rome !

Jacaranda said she absolutely wants

to star in your film.

I think she's fallen for you.

Jacaranda !

Open the door or I'll smash it down !

Shall I smash it down ?

What risks are you willing to take ?

Smash it down !

Lello, that bastard's escaped.

Shit, Spadino, you don't miss a trick !

Bastard ! It doesn't end here !

Let's go.

Do you have a place in Rome ?

I produce films but invest in property.

Go on, take your pick.

Monteverde: great choice.

The home of depressed but pleasant

intellectuals. Plenty of green.

- I don't know, I feel awkward.

- Don't, it'll come out of your pay.

Come on, let's go christen it !

We're at the Venice Film Festival:

Best Short Film Award

and this dickhead wins

with an amazing film.

It's the story of an elderly couple

who take in a sort of hobo.

First they torture him, then they kill him

and eat him !

Christ, he's a genius !

Then on the news, he said:

My parents were my inspiration.

I immediately signed a contract with him

for two films.

The first he'll direct will be yours.

Look what I brought.

Mint, for mojitos.

l'|| teach you how to drink.

Faggots !

ONE MONTH LATER

We'll start with a sequence shot,

a long take...

Fabris, if you do loads of long shots,

they won't be editable.

Exactly. That's the whole purpose.

So the producer won't be able

to edit it.

TWO MONTHS LATER

How's the screenplay coming along ?

It's a masterpiece.

But we're still working on it.

Good, do a good job

or both of your careers will be over.

The art of writing is the re-writing,

you beast !

Try to understand !

THREE MONTHS LATER

The camera starts on Mont Blanc.

Then zooms into her house,

then zooms into the bathroom,

then zooms into a shot of her nipple.

A meeting of opposites.

Like Malick's "Tree of Life".

It's the story of a woman who gets

her revenge on the Camorra.

- Why Mont Blanc ?

- Oh, God ! You're such a downer!

Mt. Vesuvius is a bad omen.

You saw what happened in Pompeii ?

It'd be more dynamic.

Can we go somewhere quieter to talk ?

We're having fun, it's a party.

Please.

Okay.

Get to know each other.

Are you going outside ?

I wonder why Oscar's so keen on you.

Mine are big shots.

What does your father do ?

- He's a plumber.

- A plumber...

A plumber, cool.

Shit, how cool.

- For you.

- Thanks.

Do you like this place ?

Yes, it's nice.

No. It's crap.

And the food is gross.

I only come here to remember

where I came from.

I come from nothing, like you.

You don't know where I come from.

It's obvious,

social housing,

outskirts of the outskirts,

parents who are losers from way back,

whose kids learn to be

even bigger losers.

But suddenly one day your third eye

opens up !

Bingo ! And you say: "Shit, not me !"

Because isn't being a loser

aboutjust letting things happen

by chance ?

- I know.

You know jack shit.

You need to ask yourself...

Why do I write ?

Why do I tell stories ?

So I won't be a loser.

When I write a story,

everything that happens makes sense,

it has meaning, there's harmony.

Nothing is "by chance".

There's just beauty.

But honestly, Oscar,

working with Fabris isn't easy.

I know.

I know you can't stand him.

He may be a dickhead,

but behind every choice,

there's a reason, right ?

And compromises, sacrifices.

Every choice has a reason.

And you need to make this choice,

you need to take charge of your life,

if you want your life to have a meaning,

you need to work out...

..what risks I'm willing to take.

Correct.

Beauty is achieved through...

strategy,

sacfifice

and taking risks.

To taking risks !

We're definitely taking a big one !

At your age, I had no money.

In restaurants, I'd feign a heart attack

to avoid paying the bill.

Shit, those were wonderful times.

Everything was yet to be written,

discovered...

stolen.

Please, Oscar.

Don't feign a heart attack.

Help !

Help !

My friend's not feeling good.

I need...

He's not well.

Whatever... it's 43 euros.

Thanks.

The problem is that everyone knows

you're a bastard.

If you can't lie,

why the hell are you in Rome ?

This city has two fundamental rules:

no one ever says what they think,

and no one ever does what they say.

How do you know I can't lie ?

ljust do ! I've been on the streets

for 30 years.

Shit, you think I don't know

how to live ?

Plus I like you, I like talking to you.

I like sharing things with you.

Can I share something with you then ?

- Sure ! We're friends, right?

- Okay.

Fabris is a jerk.

He'll destroy the film. Replace him.

- Take one !

- It's not raining !

Stop arguing !

Just take one and come here.

I can't argue over an umbrella too !

- Hit me!

- Sorry ?

Hit me, go on !

I'm taking a gamble.

If you hit me, Fabris goes to hell

and you'll direct the film.

Don't move !

Do you know why you work,

you dickhead ?

Because I suck up to the bankers,

I corrupt the priests, I bribe the MPs

and bring whores to the TV bosses.

What the fuck do you do ?

What's your strategy ?

I'm the one who loses sleep !

I stink of shit so much

that I can't even hug my daughters.

What goddamn risks are you willing

to take ?

Have you ever given up

someone you loved ?

Go fuck yourself !

Fiore !

You've got big-headed.

You need to eat some humble pie.

Come here, dammit.

You'll go back on set with Fabris,

and you'll keep schtum

for two months, understood ?

Or I'll send you back to the shithole

you came from !

I care about you !

You're the son I never had.

Now fuck off !

Open this goddamn door!

Hello ?

Yes, I'm fine.

No, I'm just out of breath.

Because I'm...

Tell the doctor I'm fine !

I've had a quadruple bypass.

I have an implant that alerts

the hospital !

Yet I'm arguing with a dickhead !

Go fuck yourself !

Go on ! Drive !

Just drive, or I'll buy myself a taxi !

Beauty is achieved through

strategy and taking risks.

What the fuck do you do ?

What's your strategy ?

Good morning, Helga.

Andrea ! How nice to see you.

Getting ready for the next party ?

Yes, the usual honey-based menu.

We always get loads of compliments.

Try some.

I love it.

It's sweet, enticing...

but there's often a risk

you'll get embroiled in it.

A bit like this city.

Look how hard they work

to produce something that will be

taken from them.

It reminds me of my work.

It's rather symbolic.

Is there a reason you've come here ?

I'm worried that Fabris will ruin the film

and destroy my career

and Jacaranda's.

You needn't worry about that.

Oscar will find a way to save face.

How can you be so sure ?

Oscar cares about his favourite mistress

much more than he appears to.

Didn't you know ?

Have I upset you ?

I've broken your heart, I'm sorry.

You haven't broken my heart.

I like you, Andrea.

You remind me of Oscar when

I first met him.

And I know you're about to make

the same mistakes he made.

I can see it.

What can you see ?

You'll probably marry a woman

who's much wealthier than you,

whose riches you'll squander,

whilst filling a foreign bank account,

with the hope of one day

fulfilling your dream...

To elope with the actress and lover

with whom you think you're in love.

I've never been in love.

Good.

Love's for commoners.

SWEET ROME

Would you like to say goodbye

to your girls before they go to school ?

Are you going to school ?

Good girls. Off you go.

Study hard, I was already supporting

a family at your age. Off you go !

Walk there, it's good for you.

Does Dad wear a mask to fight ?

Your dad always wears a mask

when he fights.

Oscar, did you want to see me ?

We'll start shooting the film tomorrow

so we have quite a bit to do.

Listen up, you budget-style Tarkovsky...

I've read the screenplay.

I understood jack shit.

I don't understand.

What do you mean ?

Do the scenes have to be that long ?

If it weren't necessary, I wouldn't have

made them so long, Oscar...

Listen to Andrea.

He's smart, he's competent.

He's got brains, understood ?

Have you finished ?

Is there anything else ?

If you screw up the film,

l'|| break your legs,

put them in plaster cast

then I'll smash that too.

Okay.

Bye Oscar !

See you tomorrow !

On the set.

And we'll start with

the shoot-out scene.

"It Doesn't End Here", scene one,

take one !

Start the rain !

Action !

This is how I'd imagined this scene

when I wrote it.

Instead... no rain.

Rain costs too much.

No slow motion.

No night-time.

That costs too much too.

And above all...

no cool location.

We shouldn't have used a steady shot.

This needed a tracking shot !

A long tracking shot...

like the maestro Michelangelo Serpentino

shows us.

Stop !

I've told you a billion times, Jacaranda !

Your face has to express

your character's internal turmoil !

You're not doing that!

You're not doing that!

What turmoil are you talking about?

Jacaranda, my dear girl,

think about something sad !

Like the famine in the world !

Just fucking think about that !

What the fuck are you saying ?

How fucking long does he take to die ?

This film's crap ! Count me out!

You see ?

She's a spoilt brat.

- Super spoilt.

- Fuck you !

Spoilt brat !

Go play with your dolls !

In your caravan, go on !

Well, shall we take a break ?

Mayl?

Close the door.

You're right.

But it's also our first day on the set.

Maybe he'll change.

And it's the story that counts, right?

That's what Oscar thinks too.

Look at him.

Him and Oscar chose

a random project because

with what I know about them

I could ruin them, so to shut me up...

Do you understand ?

They don't give a damn about your story !

I'm sorry.

Don't worry about what Fabris says.

You're perfect.

I like your story.

Can you leave me alone with

my leading actress ?

I hope I didn't interrupt anything,.

What are you doing ?

Are you flirting with my screenwriter ?

You know I'll getjealous.

Go back to your wife, go on !

It's baking hot.

Guys, don't you think we'll stand out?

It's not obvious that we're gangsters.

Are you the gangsters ?

You're an hour late !

Knock him out!

So where are these goddamn gangsters ?

There are too many people

making this shitty film ! Let's go.

We'll talk to the producer some other

time.

Oscar.

- Everything okay ?

- Yes, yes.

If that maddo talks,

we'll end up in jail.

Don't worry, it's all under control.

THREE MONTHS LATER

Not my brother, no !

Come on, let's hear your comments

about the film.

Like we always do, feel free.

Speak freely.

Give me your creative input, come on !

I don't want any ass-lickers.

I want honest comments.

I won't eat you,

you know me...

The film's shit.

He's right! The film's shit!

It's crap ! And you're a jerk !

- You're my agent, say something !

- That's not true !

The screenplay is crap !

It's not clear who put the scorpion

under the cushion !

Well.... it's just there !

By chance ?

You're a jerk and nuts !

People hate chance happenings !

People are born, they live, die

and get "I by chance.

I want to know who the baddie is

that put the scorpion under the pillow

so we can kill the scorpion,

then kill the baddie too,

people will be happy,

they'll eat pop-corn,

give me their money, I'll buy a new boat

and then you can fuck off!

But Oscar, sorry...

what scorpion do you mean ?

Will you take your glasses off ?

You have to kill yourself

to protect the Italian film industry !

I'm really worried.

- Really worried.

- It's not a problem.

Leave it to me.

Andrea ? Andrea, listen.

Can't we do anything to save this film ?

Maybe with some editing...

Fabris only used really long shots.

If you cut any scene

it'll make no sense.

But the film can't be released like this.

It's shit, you said so.

It can't be distributed.

Oscar and Remo will find a way.

It'll be released, you'll see.

- And yours and Jacaranda's careers ?

- I know.

The only way to stop it being released

would be to access the editing suite

and destroy every single copy.

I'm sorry.

People hate chance happenings.

They're chaos, filthy sludge.

And we're in a little paper boat

which is sailing through

the filthy sludge of the world's chaos.

- Why are you in my capsule ?

- Fuck off.

So now you want to look youthful ?

It's too late.

I don't give a damn about looking

youthful !

The oxygen helps me think.

I need to come up with an idea

to save this goddamn film.

If this film is a flop,

I won't cover you like I always do,

and you'll be ruined !

It won't be a flop ! Don't be a jinx!

The film won't be a flop !

Don't forget that if word gets out

that you're cheating on me

with Jacaranda,

I'll take all my money,

and my daughters,

and send you back

to where you came from.

Keep the girls out of this.

Or I swear I'll rip your head off!

Don't let us down, Oscar.

Fuck you !

Hi, Andrea. It's me.

The prodigal son has returned !

Look who it is.

Come here !

You beast !

I really love you !

Okay, I have something to say to you.

Something I've never said before.

l was wrong.

That's the truth.

You're smart and talented,

do you understand ?

How can we save this film ?

Through promotion.

Right, right.

Promotion.

We need a genius of communication.

A magician who can pull a rabbit

out of a top hat, like me.

We need to think of a great idea,

and cause a huge commotion

so people won't talk about the film

and they won't realise it's totally crap !

But how ?

We'll have to take a huge risk.

We'll behead Fabris during

the press conference,

l'll yell "Allah Akbar"

and we'll dedicate the film to ISIS.

More like this is a film about

the Camorra

and we'll pretend the Camorra

don't want it to be released.

The Camorra...

The Camorra...

You're a total genius.

That's just what I was thinking.

I thought it and you said it.

We make a perfect couple !

The Camorra beheads Fabris.

I like it.

Oscar, no one gives a damn

about Fabris,

even if he dies.

He's unpleasant.

And Jacaranda ?

You want to behead Jacaranda ?

We could put a fake story

in a gossip mag.

Saying that she was kidnapped by

gangsters.

Like the Mafia, the 'Ndrangheta,

the Camorra.

The gossip mag news will get picked up

by the newspapers,

then by the TV,

people will talk, get excited

and flock to the box office.

We'll make ten million

on the first weekend. Way to go !

This goddamn piano needs tuning.

It won't work !

- Why ?

- When she returns, she'll give it away.

It's a crap idea.

I wasn't thinking that.

You spoke before I thought.

We need to be in sync, okay ?

Unless when Jacaranda returns

she says she'd switched her phone off

to focus solely on her new lover.

Nice, I like that.

Paparazzi, gossip, we'll follow her

and her lover round the city.

She'll get screwed in the lift,

it'll be in the papers.

People will get excited,

they'll want to know more.

It needs to be somebody young...

that nobody's heard of.

Andrea...

perfect.

But the kidnapping by the Camorra

has to be well-planned.

Jacaranda has to be under shock,

she has to receive threats

and give statements.

You're a genius !

And I discovered you.

That's why I'm the best.

If we do this,

I want carte blanche.

I'll make the decisions.

You give me a budget and I'll organize

everything.

Partners.

Partners.

Stick this film about the Camorra

up your ass, whore !

How many films are there about

the Camorra ? Ten a year ?

Nothing ever happens.

And that accent doesn't sound

very Neapolitan...

more Serbian or Croatian.

But it's obviously a threat.

I'm a liability for them.

I don't want my social commitment

to cost me my life.

- I want a body guard.

- A body guard. Right.

Miss, I know what actresses are like.

You're sensitive,

delicate creatures.

But I don't think that's

a genuine threat from the Camorra.

Maybe it's an ex-boyfriend

pulling a prank ?

l'|| weigh on your conscience.

And yours !

People are crazy.

THE CAMORRA THREATENS

THE ACTRESS JACARANDA PONTI

So, is the booze flowing ?

How's it going ?

Countess !

My dear man !

Haven't you dumped him yet?

Here he is !

Amidst the steam of the Turkish baths

I didn't see you.

Here she is... my star,

my wonderful star!

Sir, how are you ?

It's the only option we have,

it's the only solution.

This is our extraordinary honey,

made by my wife...

Are you sure ?

Remo will release the film all the same.

Would you like some ?

- No, she's allergic to honey.

- If I eat it, I'll die!

If she eats it, she'll die.

Not that goddamn honey again !

They want to kill me !

Whenever I have a party,

there's someone whose daughter

wants to be an actress.

So I get them all to audition together

then I say:

"One of you has the right connections",

then they fight amongst themselves.

It's hatred that makes the world go round,

not love.

It's gorgeous, delicious !

Here.

- So, everything okay ?

- Did you bring it?

The SIM card's anonymous.

Never use other phones, please.

And don't tell me where you're taking her.

I wasn't going to.

So you're telling me that

those disks contain

all the material shot for the film ?

But don't worry.

We have two copies of everything.

One there and one there too.

And Mr Martello

always keeps an updated copy

of the film material

in his personal safe.

- Really ?

- Yes.

Listen, would you get me

one of those honey sweets

that my friend likes so much ?

Sure, of course.

Close it.

When's it happening ?

Now. You entertain your guests.

Your attention please.

Before we continue

this wonderful party,

I'd like to dedicate this evening

to a very dear friend,

who taught me everything I know

about producing films:

Pasquale Razzi.

You won't know his name,

but he was a man for whom

two things were important:

cinema

and cinema.

Unfortunately he died

on an evening

as I leant over his "toilsome papers".

Pasquale, if you're here tonight,

my heart is with you.

Raise your glasses, please !

To Pasquale Razzi !

Get down, shitheads !

Get down !

Where is she ?

Where the hell's that bitch ?

Jacaranda !

What's this shit?

Jacaranda, where the hell are you ?

Here's Jacaranda !

Get up or I'll blow your head off!

Get up!

I said get up !

Let go of me !

Oscar !

I can't breathe, I can't breathe...

I was starting to write this story.

Listen to me, Andrea.

This story is bullshit!

And you and Oscar are shitheads.

I want to go back to Rome !

It's not bullshit.

If our strategy works,

along with the promotion, the film will

be a hit and our careers will be safe.

You're just like Oscar.

You'rejust like him.

You make me sick !

- It's just for a few days.

- I'm sick of this house too.

I hate empty houses.

PRAGUE

You know why I hate empty houses ?

Because when I was 7,

my father killed himself.

And he left us with huge debts.

So then my mother had to start selling

all the furniture in the house.

Try to imagine it...

a house slowly becoming empty.

That's my earliest memory.

Great opening scene for a film.

That's the nicest thing

anyone's ever done for me.

There's some food too.

Great, I'm starving !

Wait, I need to call Milly first.

She'll be worried.

We can't call anyone.

Milly's phone will be being tapped

by the police.

You've been kidnapped by the Camorra,

remember ?

Okay.

Please, return Jacaranda to us.

I've seen her grow up.

She's like a daughter for me.

Sorry...

Even the ass-licker's fallen for it.

We're all set !

Oscar, you're a genius.

I take back all the horrid things

I said about you.

This time we'll smash it for real !

I'II release it in 400 theatres !

When will you send me the copy ?

Soon!

Helga dear !

Helga dear !

Helga dear !

That's Zimbabwean marble !

It's porous marble, you'll wreck it

with honey !

I've had a brilliant idea.

I need a Camorra turncoat

that'll go on TV,

all pixelated, to say that his bosses

are terrified of the film coming out !

Oscar, do you remember when

you declared your love for me ?

- No, l was drunk.

- You wanted an adult relationship.

"Those who truly love each other,

marry out of interest, not love,

because love ends,

but interest doesn't".

Yes. Good line, right?

Very honest !

You persuaded me to marry you

and use my family's money

to cover your debts

which then became mine too.

l invested in us, darling.

You can't let a nutcase ruin you now !

All I care about is the film's release !

I need a turncoat.

Who's that friend of yours ?

The ugly, ginger-haired midget

that you always invite to dinner

who never shuts up ?

- Graziadei ?

- Yes.

- Is she still a judge ?

- Yes.

She must have a pixelated turncoat

we can put on TV

to say what we want

to promote the film.

I will not involve Graziadei in this

for you.

Why should I continue to help you ?

Of course it was the family members,

who else ?

We're all sick of your goddamn film

about the Camorra !

Why won't you put me on the case ?

Because it involves Oscar Martello,

who you have a personal grudge against.

Why would that be ?

Everyone knows he screwed

your girlfriend

by offering her a part.

And she left you on the eve

of your wedding.

Don't make me say these things,

I feel bad.

Yes, but I won't let you

doubt my professionality.

My private life has never

interfered with my work.

So why do you keep your wedding

favours on your desk ?

l have another 400 in my cellar.

Go on, go on !

So you have a licence

for flying helicopters ?

Well, maybe I fantasize a bit

when I talk about my life.

When you do this job,

you want your life to be like a film.

But in my case, it'd end in tragedy

anyway.

Who cares if there's a sad ending ?

What matters is that it's a great story.

I'm going to have a shower.

Oscar Martello, did you enjoy making

your film about the Camorra ?

What? No one gives a damn about

the Camorra.

No one gives a damn about the Camorra ?

In the film the Camorra is just

a symbol,

a metaphor for Italy.

What the fuck are you saying ?

Andrea talks about all our goddamn

business in this film, don't you get it?

That's really interesting.

So the film's based on you ?

Now do you get it?

Gimme the gun.

Now that you've got it,

what shall we do, shitface ?

Stop, what are you doing ?

I won't release the film,

what do I care ?

l'|| lose a load of money,

I can't die because of a film !

You have to release the film.

What are you saying ?

Sorry, I don't understand...

Why don't you get it?

Am I talking Chinese ?

Let me explain it to you.

All those victims, all those robberies,

all the shoot-outs that are in

this goddamn film

are things I've told him about

over the years.

We have a professional relationship,

to do with corpse disposal.

The real author of the film is me.

-So?

- So pay me ! I want the money !

You're going to release this film

and give it huge promotion

because I want to be famous

in the ghettos, understood ?

No problem !

l'|| sign you up.

Once I've got my investment back,

you'll get a percentage.

Get up and open your safe, move it.

- I don't have any cash...

- I said open the safe !

It's electronic !

Come on, don't be an idiot.

Move it.

Come on.

Open it !

There. There's nothing, you see ?

- Gimme that !

- It's a DCP, it's worth nothing.

Why is it in the safe ?

Don't move, stay there.

Listen, Oscar Martello,

my stories would make

truckloads of films.

Like when I put

Ciccio the Swine into a cement mixer

and turned him into tarmac.

Mr Martello, the police are here.

Inspector Ventura.

- Here comes the cavalry.

- May I ?

Good morning, Mr Martello.

Ah, Inspector, I'll be right with you.

That's enough for this rehearsal.

But it's a good start. We need to work

on the dynamics of the scene

because he's not very credible.

We need more, what do the Neapolitans

call it... "Cazzimma !"

And you need to hold the gun like this.

Like they do in films!

We'll try next time.

Forgive us, Mr Martello,

if we've disappointed you.

We're working on internalizing

this Neapolitan metalanguage.

But we want to own it and make it

intrinsic, do you understand ?

- I'll get my coach to help you.

- Okay.

So we're agreed about that thing, right?

- Of course.

- We'll keep these for our rehearsals.

- Thanks ! Goodbye.

- Great work. Have a good day.

Raul Ventura !

Welcome to lncudine Films !

Oscar Martello.

I know, you don't need an introduction.

Your reputation precedes you.

Come, let me give you a tour

of the house.

We'll head towards the exit.

How can I help you ?

I'm investigating the kidnapping of

Jacaranda Ponti.

You really think she was kidnapped ?

The David di Donatello Award !

I didn't win it so I bought the statue !

Then I found out it's actually by

Bernini.

I wanted to display the price,

but my wife says that's crass.

Right, I see, but...

going back to Jacaranda, I mean...

there was a shoot-out,

4 hooded men shoved her into a truck.

Do you have another name for that,

if not kidnapping ?

So I thought.

Did you know Jacaranda

had received threats ?

Emperor Kamayama's Katanas.

A personal gift.

We were at the Tokyo Fiction Festival,

which I won,

and he gave them to me.

Actresses...

have wild imaginations !

I know.

I used to know a gorgeous one.

- Anna Lepori.

- Never heard of her.

This is the reception hall.

The rest of the house was already

furnished, it was simpler that way.

It was a way of ennobling the Martellos,

giving them a certain style.

I haven't furnished this part yet.

I've heard that in Cantu

they can recreate the 18th century style,

with solid wood that lasts longer.

And this is my baby,

my source of inspiration,

my special moment...

of solitude.

450,000 euros, it's an original Petrof.

When I'm home alone,

I compose and play music...

I wanted to be a pianist, a composer,

but I don't have time to play

nor to read.

So I added some software:

Haydn, Mozart, Beethoven.

To impress my guests.

My suspicion is that you faked

the kidnapping

to promote a terrible film.

The film isn't terrible.

It's a modern film.

It breaks through language,

it's thought-provoking

and interesting.

Faking a kidnapping is a crime.

"False alarm".

That's a great idea.

I'll keep it in mind

when I get my Law degree

which is something I've always wanted

because I pay a dozen lawyers shitloads

yet they do fuck all !

You have 19 homes,

13 more assigned to your wife

and 2 to NPOs.

Are you sure Jacaranda isn't in

one of those ?

I don't know !

I don't know who's in Paris, or London...

Jacaranda's agent received a call

that was made from Prague

where you have a lovely apartment.

Yes, but how do I know

whether my friends bring home

actresses or whores ?

I see you understand...

Who's used your houses recently ?

Listen, I'm a generous man.

If a friend wants a house, they come here,

take the keys and off they go.

How convenient !

Can I be your friend ?

Just do as I say and stop bugging me.

- Do you need the toilet before you go ?

- No.

Say hi to your boss,

we're good friends !

- You mean Chief Inspector Mutti ?

- No, the Home Secretary.

Vincenzo !

What's his fucking name ?

Vittorio ! What's your goddamn name ?

I need a copy of the film !

Franco ! No, Matteo ?

What's your fucking name ?

I need a copy of the film within

two hours.

Sir, there's been a slight hitch.

I didn't tell you because

I'm trying to resolve things.

What's there to resolve ?

film's data...

has been lost.

I'll kill you ! Hands off!

What the fuck did you do ?

- Who the fuck was it?

- I don't know!

- I just know that...

- Who was it ?

I can't retrieve the data, sir.

I'm sorry !

Stop, keep still !

Hello ?

Oscar, when will you send me

the goddamn copy ?

Soon ! Very soon !

We're working on the finishing touches.

We're doing some really great work !

It won't be long now !

Don't worry !

Dickhead, l'|| recycle you

in a Chinese restaurant.

l'|| chop you to pieces, shithead !

You've got two hours.

Two hours !

Then I'll bury you alive in here !

Prague. Jerk !

Where the hell are you ?

I shouldn't tell you.

Did you take her to my place in Prague ?

You're a total dickhead !

They've traced your calls.

They'll pin this on me !

I didn't know this'd happen !

But you write detective stories, moron !

Bring her back here now !

Cut her ear off and bring her back

to Rome !

The film's promotion has a clear strategy,

we have to see this through.

Goddamn corpse-cleaners !

I love everything about Prague !

I like...

the rooftops in Prague,

the sandwiches in Prague,

the Starbucks in Prague !

Starbucks is the same all over the world.

But here they're surrounded by Prague !

You're a good cook too !

Why can't I fall in love with

a guy like you ?

No, I'd better not.

I'm not a good girl.

I'm just...

a mediocre actress.

Show me what it'd be like.

- Meaning ?

- If you were in love with me.

You know, just pretend.

I've fallen in love with you, Andrea...

Because with you...

I can be myself.

And I can forget about all the rest.

And...

because you were right,

I needed to leave Rome.

And because you...

Because you are pure.

And you saved me.

From what ?

From Oscar.

You don't know, but it was him

who killed Pasquale Razzi.

He killed him with some cocaine

that was cut with rat poison.

I was there, I saw the whole thing.

He'd drugged me to make me...

To make me do it with them both and...

and him...

and that other bastard Remo Golia

threatened me,

they told me to keep quiet

and to not say anything.

And I trusted them.

He promised we'd do some films...

I was stupid.

And I don't even know why...

why I love him so much.

Let's sleep.

Listen up !

Goddamn shitty writer !

You know what you're gonna do ?

Without even getting dressed,

you're going to Rome

to find the last remaining copy

of the film

that your goddamn gangster friends

nicked from me.

Or I'll rip your bollocks off.

Is that clear ?

Why is there only one copy left?

Because somebody broke into

the editing suite to destroy everything.

Wretched girl.

Let's go.

I'm not going back to Rome.

Who said we're going back to Rome ?

I meant let's go away.

Forgive me.

I shouldn't have waited this long...

To run away with you.

You know what we'll do ?

We'll do what you've always

dreamt of doing.

We'll go back to Rome,

we'll go to Eur,

and we'll paint a moustache

on Alberto Sordi's statue.

And then we'll leave that horrid city

for good.

But first...

we have to promote the film.

So it'll be a huge success

and make loads of money.

I knew it.

You only care about the film.

We can't go back now.

It would be obvious that

it was all faked.

You don't need to worry

about what will happen.

I'll take responsibility

for your fuck-ups.

The only thing you need to think about

is:

"Find the copy of the film."

"Find the copy of the film."

Otherwise you'll be a corpse

and someone else will wash you down.

You're the one who said

we have to see things through.

How dare you speak to me like that !

How dare you speak to me like that !

Weren't you one for taking risks ?

Turn right.

Follow the river.

There she is, pull over!

Pull over!

Jacaranda !

Stop !

- Please !

- Go away.

- Leave me alone ! Let go !

- Calm down !

You're a piece of shit!

What kind of man have you become ?

Why did you marry that woman ?

Just to become the shitty producer

that you are ?

Well, you succeeded !

You don't give a damn about me,

so do me a favour and go away !

Come here ! Stop !

One moment...

Listen, we're releasing 500 copies

of this film in Italy.

l'|| transfer the takings to

an overseas account.

And we can be together again.

There's something else too.

If I go back to Rome,

it's to do one thing alone.

I'm going to report you

and that other bastard Remo Golia,

for Razzi...

The girl said she'll go to the police.

Okay.

Leave me alone ! Let go !

- Let go !

- Keep still !

Go to the airport.

I won't let my little paper boat

sink in the filthy sludge

of the world's chaos.

Do you think it's too much ?

It's her birthday. How old is she ?

- Seven, or eight?

- Eight!

Let her have some fun !

She can get depressed later !

Fiore ! The cake !

Let's hear it for our Aventino rapper !

Cleo Martello !

If it's not good,

I'll rip your head off!

Forgive the intrusion, Mr Martello.

I'm here to question you as you're

a person of interest in this case.

- What case ?

- The case concerning Miss Ponti's death.

Her body was found in the Vltava,

in Prague, this morning.

Suicide, it seems.

The media haven't been informed yet.

She died last night and flight records

show that you were in Prague.

Did you see Jacaranda ?

You two had a relationship.

A normal actress-producer

relationship.

What's this ?

Phone records from your cell phones

for the past six months.

They often used the same cell tower,

even late at night.

How do you explain that?

Casual sex.

But you just said you had

normal actress-producer relationship.

Exactly.

The wounds on the body could have

been caused as it floated

or following a struggle.

It's my duty to investigate.

Everyone.

Listen, I didn't tell you about

my relationship with Jacaranda

because my wife's next door.

I'm married.

Are you married ?

No ! I was stood up at the altar.

Well, lucky you.

Am I a suspect?

You don't seem bothered

about her death.

But I think you're pretending.

You were very fond of Jacaranda, right?

Don't be fooled by appearances.

I mean,

you don't look very smart.

Dad, I won the talent show,

I got four "yes" votes !

Well done, darling.

Dad...

you ate my face !

No, darling...

Come here...

I'll buy you another one.

I'll buy you ten cakes.

Don't cry !

I'm arresting you, Mr Martello.

I trust you will cooperate with us

as we take you to the station

where you will explain how

you got those scratches on your neck.

You didn't call me.

Where were you last night?

At my mother's house, in Monaco,

like every Tuesday.

It's a three-hour drive from Prague.

Did you kill her ?

Who ?

Jacaranda.

You know how much I've spent

promoting this film ?

Over a million euros.

Now it seems the film is with

friends of yours.

This film is set to make

20 million euros at the box office.

And now that

that bastard Oscar has been arrested...

in connection with Jacaranda's murder...

- What ?

- Yes, Jacaranda's dead.

And if Oscar killed her,

he did the right thing !

Now what I need to know is

who else will I have to kill

to get this damn film ?

Who else...

Fiore was in Prague.

Did you kill her ?

I haven't killed anyone.

Not yet.

Just saying...

I have something to show you.

You don't know, but it was him

who killed Pasquale Razzi.

IT DOESN'T END HERE

Make 800 copies of the film,

not 400.

800.

Lello ?

I used to go outwith an actress.

When she left me,

I read the biographies of 300 actresses.

All those who killed themselves

did it at the end of their careers.

Since the days of the Lumiére brothers,

none...

killed themselves as a film

was being released.

It'd be a first.

Inspector...

We're waiting for the autopsy report

from Prague.

But I am certain...

that we'll find traces of your DNA

under the fingernails.

I have no proof of the motive,

but I'm very optimistic.

Killing a young girl...

to promote a film.

- How fucked-up !

- I didn't kill her!

I threatened her, blackmailed her,

pushed her down stairs, beat her,

but I didn't kill her!

That's how we expressed our love !

But I didn't kill Jacaranda !

There's a visitor for Mr Martello,

his lawyer.

See you later.

Why are you here ?

Did you do it ?

We loved each other.

We loved each other.

This just arrived from

Prague's Murder Squad.

At that time,

Martello was on a plane.

Why the fuck are you here ?

He's not lying.

I need the password

to your secret account.

My friends want the money before

they return the film.

Help! Help!

This isn't my lawyer!

- Oscar...

- This isn't my lawyer!

The film must be released.

At least for her.

Shit!

Hold it right there, bastard ! Get in !

You piece of shit, get in !

Thanks, guys.

It's always a pleasure.

Andrea, buddy ! How are you ?

Everything okay ?

Did that hurt ?

It's my rings.

Andrea,

what the fuck should we do

with this thing ?

Do you have our money ?

Tonight !

Tonight, at the film's presentation,

at Oscar's house.

Oscar ?

But he's been arrested !

No ! The presentation's going ahead.

Tonight !

Should we trust him ?

Damn you !

All right.

You were on a plane when Jacaranda

was walking by the river.

We have film footage

that shows Andrea Serrano

looking for Jacaranda.

And we intercepted calls between

him

and the gangster Lello Jovine.

What kind of relationship do they have ?

Canlgo?

For me it always feels like

the first time.

If I weren 't so lucky...

because I've been really lucky !

Thank God I'm not like

my character.

You're cheating on me even

now that she's dead ?

I'm working...

I'm trying to put together some clips

to keep our guests entertained tonight.

Hurry up, the party's about to begin.

There are...

500 movie theatres waiting for...

the release of our latest masterpiece.

And when...

a film is released,

the first thing we ask ourselves is:

how much money will it make ?

Actually...

this film...

will probably...

never be released.

It won't be released ?

What's he saying ?

Silence !

would like to dedicate

this special evening

to a great artist,

a woman who was...

extraordinarily beautiful...

I will let these images

tell you the story

of this great actress:

Jacaranda Ponti.

Great, it's really great!

It's wonderful !

That's why we do this job, right ?

Call HQ.

See if the goddamn autopsy report

has arrived.

If I weren 't so lucky...

because I've been really lucky...

I think I'd have given up.

You know how much money the film

will make now that Jacaranda's dead ?

Why the fuck are you here ?

I came to save the film.

How will you do that ?

Starting with this.

Ever wondered why your man

spends so much time with Remo ?

Remo !

You've been spying on me.

I always told you to be careful

about the company you keep.

I've known you for thirty years.

You piece of shit.

I'm glad Oscar gave you

another chance.

He must trust me.

Milly...

Fabris ! Oscar wants you.

He mentioned a sequel.

Way to go !

- Fabris ? Will I see you later ?

- Yes, yes.

Andrea, what do you want?

To get revenge for Jacaranda.

I was supposed to trust you.

Trust you ?

How could I trust you,

seeing that you were

screwing Jacaranda ?

It's a secret...

And you saved me.

From what ?

From Oscar.

You don't know, but it was him

who killed Pasquale Razzi.

He killed him with cocaine

cut with rat poison.

How fucked up !

I was there, saw the whole thing.

He'd drugged me to make me...

to make me do it with them both and...

and him, and...

that other bastard Remo Golia

threatened me.

They told me to keep quiet,

and to not say anything.

And I trusted them.

Here it is, it's the autopsy report.

He promised we'd make some films.

What are you all staring at?

What's there to fucking stare at ?

Call for back-up. Now !

Bastards !

Get the hell out of here !

Let's go, girls.

We're going to grandma's.

Helga !

It's over ! Get yourself a lawyer !

Helga !

I took you in from the streets...

and that's where you'll return.

You and I made a pact.

But you've humiliated me !

You're dead.

Where's the copy of the film ?

Where's our money ?

Do you have something from Remo ?

This is better than your money.

A contract.

Making you co-writer of the screenplay

and named in the opening credits

and you'll get a percentage

of the takings.

Trust me, this film will make money.

Here.

Did you spell my name correctly ?

Pasqualino Jovine.

Good.

Shame that Jacaranda has revolutionised

your life now that she's dead.

What the fuck do you know ?

I have a soft spot for actresses.

It's a topic I studied at length.

You're mad at me because you think

I screwed...

What was her fucking name...

Anna Lepori.

Anna Lepori ! For fuck's sake !

One of the least talented women

I've ever goddamn met !

I would have screwed her, but...

I happened to lose her number.

You think I'm here

for personal reasons ?

I'm here because you're a criminal

and I'm a cop, that's how it works.

Anna and l are good friends now.

It wasn't your fault that

it didn't work out.

Great plot twist, right ?

Now put that goddamn sword down.

Come on, let's go !

It's what I always say

to my screenwriters.

What's the goddamn point

of knocking down the Twin Towers

when you could just lift the pillow

to check

if a scorpion's there ?

I found it, you know.

Anaphylactic shock.

Jacaranda was allergic to honey

and in the house there was a jar

with Oscar Martello's fingerprints on it.

You left her to die while you were

on the plane ! How fucked-up !

I said let's go !

Fuck you !

Let's go !

Oscar ! Come on, let's go !

The problem is...

working out...

who put the scorpion there.

The honey...

You put it there.

And you fucked me over.

No, you killed her, Oscar.

The problem is that everyone knows

you're a bastard.

You never thought I could lie.

The film is shit.

The film is shit.

The film isn't that bad.

It'll go down well.

The only way to stop its release

is to access the editing suite

and destroy all the copies.

THE FILM IS SHIT

Who put the scorpion

under the pillow, Oscar ?

The baddie.

Who in the end...

dies.

To achieve beauty

you need to take risks.

And have a strategy.

What the fuck do you do ?

ALLERGIC TO HONEY

What's your strategy ?

We need someone young

that nobody's heard of.

What we need is in his safe.

Isn't this way better than the idea

that everything happened by chance ?

Jacaranda's agent received a call

from a cell tower in Prague.

They traced your calls,

they'll pin this on me.

I didn't know this'd happen !

I didn't know that'd happen !

Did I have to come to Prague

to get screwed over by you ?

Rome burns, Rome burns

Rome burns, Rome burns

With the Christians !

Come here...

you immature shithead.

Where the fuck did you learn to fight

like that ?

Fuck you !

It's over, Oscar.

You'll either die or go to jail.

Give me the password.

What a shitty writer you are !

You should've worked it out.

Fuck you !

I'm afraid there's no sign of the body,

inspector.

Maybe it was cremated, who knows !

Everything okay ?

Thanks.

Do me a favour.

Don't leave town for the next two weeks.

Don't worry, inspector.

l have no intention of leaving this city.

Good. Bye.

Where's the car ?

Over there, let's go.

DOLCEROMA

TRANSFER MONEY

TRANSFER COMPLETE

Following the events connected with

the release of "It Doesn't End Here ",

the death of Jacaranda Ponti

and the disappearance of Oscar MarteIIo,

the film continues to be

a box office hit

for the fifth week running,

with takings of over

40 million euros.

And today we have another report.

The famous distributor Remo Golia

has been arrested

for alleged involvement in

the murder of Pasquale Razzi.

The investigation will continue

until we have brought

all the culprits to justice.

And now, some breaking news...

The statue of Alberto Sordi

has been vandalised,

perhaps by a prankster,

who broke into the private grounds

where it is located,

and a moustache has now appeared

on the face of Italy's most famous

film star!

Why the hell are you in Hollywood ?

You're in the wrong place,

the future is Bollywood !

A market of two and a half billion people.

My next project: "The Betrothed".

She'll be Indian, he'll be Chinese.

It'll be epic !

Mr Martello will definitely

leave his mark this time.

I also have a new female protagonist

you might like.

you shit.