Dogpound Shuffle (1979) - full transcript

[MUSIC PLAYING]

MAN 1: OK, everybody out.

Last stop.

Come on, out!

MAN 2: What are you bothering with us for?

Don't you have nothing better to do?

MAN 1: Come on, come on!

Knock off the complaining.

We don't have all night.

All right, come on, everybody, line up.

That's the way.



Nice and neat.

Hands up, legs spread. That's it.

MAN 3: Better watch out for that one.

OFFICER: Which one?

MAN 3: That one.

Got himself one hell of a mean old dog.

OFFICER: You, turn around.

You got a dog?

You want to take a look?

OFFICER: Where is he?

In there?

[GROWLING]

Get him out.

You're the one that wants him.



You get him out.

OFFICER: Do what I tell you to do--

Kill, Spot.

Kill!

[BARKING]

[MEN LAUGHING]

[WHIMPERING]

MAN 4: That dog just going to wait?

STEPS: Waited for 35 days once.

MAN 4: Ah, we'll be out of here by tomorrow morning.

OFFICER: Nighty night!

How's that old dog keep from starving?

He begs, just like you do.

[WHIMPERS]

[HARMONICA MUSIC]

You see a dog?

Eh?

I seen my mother-in-law once.

That's bad enough.

(YELLING) Spot!

Spot!

Spot!

Lose your dog?

You see him?

Nah.

Thought you said he waits.

He does.

Spot!

Spot!

Maybe he got hungry.

Then he'd find something to eat and come back.

Maybe a girl dog came around.

Maybe the dog catcher got him!

[HARMONICA MUSIC]

Make out any good with that?

$435 last Christmas week.

You lie.

Oh, hell, I don't try to make a living with this.

That'd be too much work.

[DOGS BARKING]

If you're looking for work, job applicants are interviewed

on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I'm looking for my dog.

Oh, is he lost?

No ma'am, he's invisible.

I meant is your dog lost, or has

someone from the shelter contacted you

and told you your dog is here?

Nobody told me nothing.

He's just been missing since last night.

Oh, then you here to file a missing dog report.

Unless he's already here.

When did you last see your dog?

Last night around 8:00.

Where?

At the train yard.

Description?

Guess you'd call him a mixed terrier, about 12 pounds,

a spot about so big on his left right side.

Age?

- Nine years. - Tags?

No, ma'am.

- Collar of any kind? - No, ma'am.

He gets a rash.

A dog matching that description

was picked up last night on the 10 o'clock sweep.

He was, eh?

Follow me, please.

Yes, ma'am, right behind you.

Jeez, you people do a wonderful job.

My gosh, just to think, lost in a big city

like this, one little dog, and you had to find him.

[DOGS BARKING]

[YELPING]

You crazy little mutt.

You had me worried sick and all that.

No!

No more, you understand.

No more.

Shh.

There are forms to be completed.

Yes, ma'am.

Quite a job on this thing.

- Follow me, please. - What?

Your dog will be released to you as soon as the forms

have been completed.

Ah.

Right.

Sure.

[INAUDIBLE] understand.

I'll be right back.

I'll be right back!

I'll be right back.

Sit!

[BARKING]

The impound fee is $25.

There is an additional $3 fee for licensing,

and a $2 charge for the first day's food.

We do not accept checks.

Did you say I have to pay to get me own dog set loose?

The fees I quoted to you are established by the city.

The shelter makes no profit.

The $30 will merely cover our costs.

But I don't have $30!

I see.

Well, I'm afraid your dog will have to stay.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Not on your life!

The laws in this city forbid this department

to release any dog without formal certification of rabies

and distemper shots and a city dog license!

Now, that's the law.

We can make no exceptions!

Damn your laws!

That's my dog on there!

Mine, not yours!

Well, if you don't mind me saying,

that dog might be better off put to sleep than in the company

of a man who can't raise $30.

Well, who in the goddamn hell gives

you the right to decide that?

The law gives us that right!

I want me dog.

The fee is $30--

today.

Tomorrow, it will be $32, the day after that, $34.

I'll be back.

How much you been making while I was in there?

How much you've been making while I was in there?

Let's see.

At 40 cents for a hot dog with mustard and relish,

a coffee with two creams, that's 12 cents-- that's 52 cents.

Then 45 cents for this cheeseburger, and I had 30,

and I still have 16.

So how much is that?

Chicken feed.

It's a cheap neighborhood.

Look, I get--

Are you interested in earning some real money, say $8, $10,

maybe even $12 in a single night?

Doing what?

What you do best-- playing that mouth harp.

Yeah?

What are you going to be, my manager?

Hell, no.

You're going to be my accompanist.

You a singer or something?

Are you kidding?

Anybody can sing.

Then what?

What I do best.

What's your name, kid?

Pritt.

Mine's Steps.

[LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYING]

We go in, take a seat at the bar, buy a drink.

You got enough for a drink?

Yeah.

What about you?

Got enough for a beer.

But nurse it, because we might have to wait a while.

Listen. - What?

Hear that?

The jukebox?

Soon as it goes off, you start blowing.

Just like that? You're not going to ask anybody?

Trust me to know what I'm doing with you.

Soon as it goes off, you start.

I'll take care of the rest.

But if you don't start fast enough,

some joker's going to drop another quarter in.

That's two bits for the machine instead of for us.

You got it?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[COUNTRY SONG PLAYING]

Aloha.

What'll it be?

A beer.

You?

How much for a daiquiri?

75 cents.

Why the hell didn't you order a beer?

That way you could've bought three.

I don't like beer.

You don't like beer.

No.

SINGER (ON JUKEBOX): (SINGING) --my window, so no one

else will know what's going on.

For I meet you in a room with shaded windows,

hold you in the dark without a sound.

Where we lay upon a bed that's only

borrowed, returning it when the hour has turned around.

We'll say goodbye with love before my doorway--

You don't like it?

Want a taste?

It's a woman's drink.

Who says?

Look, if you don't know, I can't tell you.

- How is it? - How is it?

It's beer.

Beer is beer.

Make you pee?

What?

Does me-- pee like a horse.

That's why I don't drink it.

SINGER (ON JUKEBOX): (SINGING) --and dream about those nights

we'll never find.

How are your lips?

What?

Your lips-- they OK?

Sure.

Why, does something look wrong with them?

Nothing looks wrong. I'm just checking, that's all.

- You nervous about something? - Me?

Why should I be? - I don't know.

You haven't told me what we're doing here.

Just don't worry yourself over it, OK?

When the record stops, you start, right?

Well, why won't you tell me?

Look, it's nothing against the law.

Is that what you're worried about?

Yeah.

How old do you think I am?

Take a good look.

60.

Close enough.

How many guys my age you know who can do what I can do?

You haven't told me what you can do.

And that's why, because you wouldn't have believed it,

and you wouldn't have come here. - Well--

Shh.

Get ready.

Come on.

Something like this-- a one, a two, a one, two, three--

[HARMONICA MUSIC]

That's a nice haul.

He dances like a son of a bitch, don't he?

That's first cabin, I'll tell you.

I ain't seen nobody move like that

since Sugar Ray quit the ring.

What's the take, pops?

$9.60.

That's not bad.

Guess you figure you're in for a share.

Yeah, that's a good guess.

10%.

Make it a dollar even.

That's better than 10%.

Well, I was figuring a little different, like half for me

and half for the two of you.

Well, you figured wrong, friend.

Well, how' about we settle for thirds?

That's fair.

That's about three and a quarter a piece.

20%.

Hey look, Jack.

This is my place, and these are my customers,

come in here to buy my liquor.

I could have thrown the both of you out of here two hours ago.

Thirds.

75, 25.

Now, you want to come back here another night?

Not at these rates.

Well, that's just fine with me.

Give me two and a half.

We'll kiss it off.

25% of $9.60 is $2.40.

All right, finish your drink and beat it.

And don't come back.

Ah, he's two times worse than me agent in New York City,

god rest his soul.

PRITT: There's always one guy who's the best, whatever

the thing is, there's always one guy who can

do it better than anybody else.

And you know what I think?

When it comes to dancing, you're that guy.

You think a guy my age could still

learn to dance like you do?

When did you start?

STEPS: I was six.

PRITT: That's over 50 years, isn't it?

STEPS: You know how much money I made once?

PRITT: A lot I bet.

STEPS: $300 a week--

PRITT: Woo!

STEPS: For six weeks running.

PRITT: Well, hell, I'll bet you could

still make that kind of money if you wanted to, maybe even more.

You got a lot to learn about show business, kid.

See you later.

Hey, where you going?

Ain't you going to sleep here tonight?

STEPS: Can't afford it!

PRITT: What do you mean you can't afford it?

You got over three and a half bucks right now,

and you sure as hell ain't going to find

a bed any cheaper that here.

Can't afford a bed at all.

Got to save up.

What for?

Look, I'll give it to you straight.

I've got a dog locked up in that god forsaken pound!

And they're not going to let me have him back until I pay them

their 30 bucks blood money.

I thought you said they didn't pick him up.

You said it, not me.

Well, why didn't you tell me?

It's not your problem, is it?

Well, you should've told me.

You never tell me anything.

I never even met you before this morning!

Well, you could have told me.

Hell, I'll help you get him out.

How?

What do you mean, how?

Like we did tonight, that's how.

We made over seven bucks, didn't we?

So we do the same thing tomorrow night, the night after that,

even the night after that if we have to.

And that, that's that.

I made three and a half bucks.

Unless you mean you're going to give me your share just so

I can get me dog out of the pound!

Sure.

You'd do that?

Well, it's not like you're asking me for 10 grand.

I ain't asking you for nothing.

You don't have to.

I'm offering.

BEGGAR: I don't care if you're giving it away.

Don't you know it's 3 o'clock in the goddamn morning?

PRITT: Hey, Steps, you know that move

you sort of made when you slid around the back side

of that chair?

That's the one I'd like to learn first.

Boy, I'll never forget that one.

I'm pretty light on my feet, you know.

It's not like I'm clumsy like some people.

Hell, I'll bet I can learn a lot faster than you think.

Boy, that sure was good banana cream pie.

Five, six, and now you kick.

Seven, eight, like you skate.

Nine, ten, do it again.

And!

One, two, wiggle your shoe.

I'm not here to make any trouble, ma'am.

Just want to leave a deposit.

WOMAN: It's all right.

I want to leave a $2 deposit.

That'll cover the first day's food, won't it?

WOMAN: I'll-- I'll give you a receipt.

And-- I want to see my dog.

[BARKING]

[WHIMPERING]

You know, I've been thinking.

We did pretty good last night, considering

the dump we were in.

But let's face it, that dump was a dive.

So what I've been thinking is, what if we went

to a different place tonight?

I mean a lot different-- a whole different street.

Someplace where they get a fancier crowd.

You see what I'm getting at?

Fancy crowd, big tippers.

Hell, we could make twice as much if we did that.

What do you think?

Steps, what do you think?

I think you're nuts.

- Huh? - Look around.

That's all you have to do.

Look at the kind of people over there.

They're not even going to let us through the door.

Why not?

We don't look so bad.

And anyway, once we get started, they're just going to think,

well, we're in costume.

Sure.

If we get started.

Hell, these places are probably so crowded,

they won't even notice us coming in.

It's worth a try, isn't it?

Which one?

One's the same as the other.

How about that one?

Looks good to me.

One thing-- I've been in joints like this before.

They're not going to have any jukebox.

Better for us, isn't it?

Just stick to me like glue, you understand?

And when I say go, start blowing.

All set?

Go!

Now!

- Sorry, fellas. - Me, too!

Guess I was wrong, and you were right, huh?

It's like you said, I got a lot to learn about show business.

Say, I'm glad I caught you two before you left.

Look, I know this is kind of rushed and all that,

but we're, uh, we're having a party at my house

tomorrow night, big party.

Well, actually it's my father's house, but--

anyway, how would you two like to come on over and perform?

Perform what?

Well, just like what you were starting to do inside.

You dance, he plays his harmonica--

same thing you were doing.

Well, it's a wonderful act.

What do you say?

Will you do it?

How much?

Well, I don't know.

What do you usually get for a show?

$30 a piece.

$30 a piece, that seems fair.

Plus transportation.

Sure.

How far is it?

Oh, just about 12 miles.

Here, I'll write down the address for you.

See, the party starts around 8:30.

If you get there by 9:00, that's good enough.

Cab driver will know how to find it.

When you get there, just ask for me, Mr. Lester--

Junior.

Let's see, $5 for transportation?

$10-- in advance.

I, um, can trust you two to show up, can't I?

Pritt, give the gentleman your harp.

If the man's willing to trust us with $10,

we ought to be willing to trust him, don't you think?

(WHISPERING) Thank you very much.

[COUGHING]

I remember something my old man said to me once.

He says, Pritt, a hotcake without blueberry syrup

is like a brick without mortar.

[COUGHING]

Funny thing was, he always used to eat

soft boiled eggs with crackers.

Not only that, but he never laid a brick in his life.

[COUGHING]

MAN: [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

PRITT: Sorry.

MAN: [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

STEPS: Come on, this one's empty.

PRITT: Getting crowded as a subway around here, isn't it?

Want a toothpick?

For soup?

Oh, yeah.

Gee, I sure feel weird without my harp.

I guess you must feel the same way without your dog, huh?

How long you had him, anyway?

Nine years.

That's a long time to have the same dog.

How old would that make him in human years?

55, maybe 60.

No kidding.

Seems pretty lively for a dog that old.

Of course, I wouldn't have figured you

for 60 after seeing you dance.

Runs in the family.

What do you suppose that party's gonna be like?

Pretty big, huh?

Fancy people, fancy cars, lots of food, good looking women--

you ever been to a party like that?

If I've been to one, I've been to a hundred.

Yeah?

You mean dancing?

Dancing, and sometimes I was invited just for me self.

Hey, that's something.

How were they?

They were nice.

Hell, I bet they were.

You know what I think?

I think our going to that bar tonight

might just be the best move we ever made.

Steps?

STEPS: Yeah.

PRITT: You ever married?

STEPS: Once.

PRITT: What happened?

Just wondered.

Hell, I'd marry you in a minute.

Steps?

You tired?

Well, I just thought you might give me a lesson--

that is, if you're feeling up to it.

STEPS: (YELLING) One!

Two!

Wiggle your shoe.

Three, four, slap the floor.

Five, six, now you kick.

Seven, eight, like you skate.

Nine, ten, do it again!

[MUSIC - DAVE WHITE, "INSTANT CLEANSER"]

Instant cleanser sitting on my shelf, antiseptic splendor,

I've used it on myself.

Life's so easy, science points the way.

Satisfied, instantly no more dirty days.

I used to rub and scrub my very--

Hey!

--fingers to the bone, but now I've got the remedy supreme.

It's a wondrous thing how science

has improved our daily lives.

I can instant clean my dirty ways and means.

Instant cleanser, sitting on my shelf, antiseptic splendor,

I've used it on myself.

I used to rub and scrub my very fingers to the bone,

but now I've got the remedy supreme.

It's a wondrous thing how science

has improved our daily lives.

I can instant clean my dirty ways and means.

[POP]

I had a manager once.

It's pretty much the same as an agent, isn't it?

Hell, I had a manager and a trainer.

You, a fighter?

Was.

No fooling?

Yeah.

That's what I meant when I said I was light on my feet.

How come you quit?

Couldn't take a punch.

Is that right?

Hell, I could give one.

Take them to the body, but land one square on my nose--

pow-- colored lights and church bells like Christmas.

How long ago was that?

Four or five years.

And you've been bumming ever since?

Pretty much.

You like it?

Like it?

I've got no home, no ties, no worries, no woes.

What's not to like?

Only thing is, I got an appetite like a bear.

Sometimes if I get too hungry, I get meaner

than a grizzly in a trap.

So you know what I do?

I start drinking water.

Hell, I've drunk so much water sometimes,

I nearly drowned myself.

But damn if it doesn't do the job.

When they start making you pay for water,

that's when I'm in real trouble.

Till that happens, hell, I got my harp, got all my teeth.

I bet I'm about as happy as you are when you're dancing.

Except I'd like to have a woman more often.

You sure we got the right number?

I have it right in front of me, don't I?

Damn, can you believe that?

It's the bloody white house.

PRITT: Man, oh man, this is going

to be one hell of a night.

You see that?

That's a Rolls Royce.

You see that?

That's another one!

Ho-ly sh-- You hear that?

They got a live band in there.

Steps?

Steps?

[HONKS]

Sorry.

Steps?

Hey, where you going?

What the hell are you doing, Steps?

Would you mind holding that?

It's the Boy Scouts of America, isn't it?

Have the motto, be prepared.

But while you were still dumping your girlfriend's pigtails

in the inkwell, I discovered the Boy Scouts of America

had a point.

Folks would see me dancing some place,

and they'd book me for their parties.

But I never knew what kind of a party

it was going to be until I got there.

So one day I asked myself, Steps, I says, what's better--

have two suits and always be carrying one in a suitcase,

or have two suits that you can carry around on your back?

Excuse me.

Whatcha staring at, hm?

You think I should walk into a place like this

dressed like a rummy bum?

You got a lot to learn about show business, kid--

a lot to learn.

Yes?

I didn't say nothing.

What I mean is, were you sent by the agency?

What agency?

Domestic aid.

Mr. Lester sent us.

Mr. Lester?

STEPS: Junior.

Well, what is it that you're supposed to do?

He certainly isn't paying you merely to stand in the kitchen

and look colorful.

We're entertainers.

Oh.

Then you're with the band.

No, ma'am, we're on our own--

what we in show business call a speciality act.

The way it works, you see, is my partner here is the elephant,

and I'm the albatross.

And after we done the strip number the second time,

he gets on his pogo stick and starts across the tightrope

while I'm keeping the helium balloon

balanced over the frying pan, which he sticks up his--

I think you'd better wait right here

while I go and find Mr. Lester.

Yes, ma'am, Mr. Lester--

Junior.

What's inside those?

That's almond ducks.

No fooling?

What's almond ducks?

Chinese.

Oh yeah?

You like and try some?

Oh yeah, thank you.

What kind of entertain you?

I'm a musician, and my partner here is a dancer.

Oh.

What kind of costume you wear?

Sort of, yeah.

You sing so look that too old fashioned?

Hello.

You found it all right, huh?

The cab driver knew just where to go, Mr. Lester.

Good, good.

Oh, um-- here.

Thank you.

Now look, here's the way I see.

About a half hour from now, the two of you

just kind of stroll out into the crowd.

Just walk right out like you did last night--

no fanfare, no announcements.

I'll tell the bandleader to keep an eye out for you.

And when you're ready, you just give him a sign.

How's that?

You mean you just want us to walk right out there and--

Just like last night, everything the same.

You walk out there, you start playing, you start dancing.

Well, that's classy.

I like that.

If that's the way you want it, Mr. Lester.

Great. They're going to love you.

You just wait and see.

Who knows, you might even pick up a couple of jobs.

I mean, if that's the sort of thing you're interested in.

There's a lot of money out there.

We saw the cars.

Right.

Well, uh, meantime, help yourself to anything you want.

And we'll just sort of keep out of sight until you're ready,

so we can save the surprise.

Oh, Sam?

Yes, Mr. Lester?

Get the boys some drinks, will you?

What would you like?

I could do with a beer.

Sure.

How about you?

I'd kind of like a gin fizz.

Sam, a gin fizz and a beer.

Yes, coming right up.

Well, I've got to get back out there.

So grab some food if you're hungry,

and I'll see you in about 30 minutes, OK?

Hey, nice having you aboard.

Well, isn't he just about the friendliest guy you ever met?

STEPS: Would you just take a look at that floor.

Yeah.

What do you mean?

Well, look at it!

The damn thing is solid marble.

Is that good or bad?

Good or bad.

You want to be a hoofer, and you're asking me if a marble

floor is good or bad.

There's no dancer on earth wouldn't give

his left pinky for a chance to break his arches

on a floor like that.

You know what I've been looking at?

Yeah, the women. PRITT: Yeah-- no, besides that.

STEPS: The food. PRITT: Those microphones.

And that big thing over there, that's an amplifier.

You think you have to tell me what an amplifier looks like?

Well, I've never played one before.

I've seen lots of guys play with them, but I never have.

STEPS: You're a fan on trying it?

PRITT: Oh, you bet I do. Yes, sir.

You just bet I do.

Have you gone crazy, Steps?

You know what will happen if somebody

finds us poking around up here?

STEPS: Shh.

Dammit, Steps, you're going to blow the whole thing.

No money, no nothing.

Quiet, will you?

Nobody's going to see us.

This one.

For crying out loud, Steps, you'll

get us 10 years in the pen. - Shh.

Just wait outside.

If you see anybody coming, knock twice and beat it.

I'll hide. - What?

Goddammit, would you listen to me, Steps?

Steps? Steps?

Dropped my money.

Found it!

Sorry.

[AMPLIFIER SCREECHING]

[HARMONICA MUSIC]

Spot, this one's for you.

You can't dance.

Thank you very much.

Three, four!

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

[DOOR BELL RINGING]

No need to sound the alarm!

No need to call in the troop.

I have come to free me dog.

Come, come.

Snap to.

The forms!

The forms!

Where are your blasted mother loving forms?

Dear lady of the shelter, I have come to free me dog.

You do remember me dog, don't you?

He's about this height and that long, has a very round, very

obvious spot on his left side--

on his right side.

I had me dog for nine years.

And for nine years, he's had me.

That's a very long time.

Even me young friend here will testify to that.

And now I am here, and me money is on the counter, all cash,

no checks, just as you asked.

And now, I want him back!

Right now!

A family came in yesterday, a wonderful family,

two lovely children, a boy and a girl.

Where's me dog?

They were so polite, the children, such fine manners.

They wanted a dog.

They'd never had one.

You telling me to say you gave me dog away?

They looked at each and every one of them.

They took so much time, I was afraid they'd never decide,

and we do so want all our dogs to have good homes.

You telling me to say you gave me dog away?

Then the strangest, most peculiar thing--

the little boy had a radio, a small transistor radio.

He'd been listening to a baseball game.

And then the game ended, or maybe he was bored with it.

He changed the station.

He began listening to music, and the little dog

started to dance.

You should have seen the faces on those two children.

The dog was in his cage, all by himself,

up on his little hind legs, and he was dancing.

You hadn't come in yesterday.

I was afraid you'd gone away, that you

wouldn't be coming back.

Oh, their father said, he's too old, he's an old dog.

You want a young dog, a puppy.

That dog probably won't even live

more than another year or two.

The children begged him.

Please, they said, we love him.

He's the only dog we want.

Look at the way he dances.

The dog will be happy with them.

He'll be fed and cared for and loved,

and that's the most important consideration.

That's why we're here.

That's our job.

The animals, we have to do what's best for them.

The family that took him paid all the fees.

I have your $2 deposit.

[DISTANT BARKING]

I'm sorry, but the laws won't allow us to tell

you who the new owner is.

It's for the best.

I'm sure you'll agree.

Look here.

Two tickets to Eugene, Oregon, and change to boot.

Not bad, huh?

No rail burn tonight, not for this pair.

We got about an hour.

You hungry?

If you want some coffee, there's a machine over there.

I think I got a couple of dimes.

Let me see one of them tickets, will ya?

Sure.

Here.

It's a little wet.

What's the matter, Steps?

I get the wrong tickets? Hey, where you going?

It's all paid for.

Steps?

You don't like Eugene?

Well, there's 50 other places we could go for the same money.

You want to change them?

Hell, makes no difference to me.

Made a mistake.

Need a refund on this.

Is that a refund or an exchange, sir?

I want me money back, that's all.

Yes, sir.

Is anything wrong, sir?

Nothing's wrong, just a mistake, that's all.

Yes, sir. I'll get a refund slip.

I'll be with you in a minute. - Steps?

Forget it.

What do you mean, forget it?

We got plans.

Hurry up with that, will ya?

Steps, I'm talking to you.

CLERK: It's $19.25 including tax.

Sign right there, sir.

Thank you.

It's 10, 15, 2 is 17, 2 is 19, and a quarter-- $19.25.

Hope you ride with Civic Stage some other time, sir.

So long, Pritt.

Wait a minute, goddammit!

I thought we were partners. Isn't that right?

Isn't that what we are? - Who says?

I say! You say!

Last night says, and the night before that,

and the night before that.

ANNOUNCER: Final call for boarding at Bay 14.

- You're an [INAUDIBLE] - Wait a minute.

I'm what?

Don't hang onto me, Pritt!

Well, what the hell do you think

we've been doing for the last three days except hanging on!

Look, you got some screwball idea that you and me are going

to dance our way onto Broadway.

Well, let me tell you something--

there is no more Broadway.

There is no such thing!

I've been there.

I've been up, and I've been down,

and I'm not going to let some wide-eyed kid

run me ragged on a wild goose chase,

trying to find a golden egg!

Do you understand what I'm trying to say to you?

Do you, Pritt?

I've already done that.

You want to do it, go do it.

But go do it by yourself!

And that's it?

What else do you want, another dance lesson before I go?

You're scared, aren't you?

No, I'm not scared.

I don't need to be.

I'm not going to be doing anything I need to worry about.

I want to know something, Steps.

Have you been stringing me along for the last three days?

Is that what you've been doing, just stringing me along so I'd

help you get your dog back?

Funny thing, I've been wondering

the same thing about you.

I've been asking meself, what's he want?

What's he think he's going to get from me?

And what's the answer?

Somebody to hold your hand, somebody

to give you the guts you don't have by yourself, a ride out!

So where you going?

Dunno.

Stick around, I guess.

Maybe-- I don't know.

So long, Pritt.

ANNOUNCER: Boarding at Bay 14 for Seattle,

Portland, Salem, Eugene, Roseburg, Purple Creek,

and Point Summit.

You waiting for your friend, or is this seat free?

Is it OK if I sit here?

I'm not waiting for anybody.

Thanks.

Where you headed?

Eugene.

I'm going to San Francisco.

I'm getting married.

BUS DRIVER: I guess that's it, Don.

Have a good trip. - OK.

See you next week.

Thanks a lot.

[CRASH]

[WHIMPERING]

STEPS: Shh.

Go ahead.

Shh.

[BARK]

[BARKING] STEPS: Be quiet!

Be quiet!

No, no, no, be quiet!

Shh!

[BARKING]

Shut up!

Quiet!

Calm down!

Easy!

[BARKING]

Nobody's going to hurt you!

[BARKING]

Quiet, will you!

Shut up, you hear!

God damn you!

[BARKING]

Shut up, you stinking mutts!

Shut up!

Shut up!

Over there.

Now, don't make a move, or I'll tear your head off.

I'd like the police, please.

Yes.

Yes, it is.

What the hell did you think you were

going to find in here, anyway?

Just an address.

You mean this one?

The suckers who bought your dancing mutt?

Ah, yes, sir.

This is Clyde Hubbard at the East Vancouver Pound.

Yes, sir.

I've got a man here that I caught breaking in.

Yes, sir.

Through a window, I think.

Yes, sir.

2 2 8 Napoleon Way.

Right.

Thank you.

Won't be long now.

Pritt!

This way!

[BARKING]

[PUNCHING]

Agh!

[BARKING]

[BARKING]

[HARMONICA MUSIC]

[BARKING]

Shut up, you lousy mutts!

Shut up!

Shut up!

[BARKING]

STEPS: Come on, git!

You're free! Do you understand?

Free!

Beat it!

[BARKING]

Ugh!

Let me have a look.

All right.

All right!

[LAUGHS]

PRITT: Come on, let's get the hell out of here!

STEPS: Gotta get the address!

PRITT: Come on, come on, Steps!

Come on!

That big gorilla is going to wake up!

I think this one.

PRITT: Come on!

Come on!

PRITT: Let's get the hell out of here.

[SIRENS]

Don't take, but--

that's a bad one.

Ooh!

It's not going to be easy trying to shake that lot,

you know.

You only have to look sideways at a stray

and they'll latch onto you and won't let you go, not even

if you kick them in the ribs. Get out!

How do you figure on doing it?

Getting rid of them?

No, getting your dog back.

Don't know.

Haven't figured it out yet.

Guess I'll have to see the house first.

You plan to bust in?

Don't know.

Did you ever think all you might have to do

is go up and explain things to them?

How far did you get on that bus?

A mile, maybe two.

Eh, then what?

How'd you even know I got on?

Well, you did, didn't you?

You were there, weren't you?

Hoping I wouldn't go.

What made you change your mind?

What made you wait around to see if I would?

- How's that? - Agh!

You'll live.

Might not play the harp for a couple of days,

but you'll live.

Got yourself a friend.

[YELPING]

Sit.

Sit. Sit!

Come on!

Let's get out of here.

[BARKING]

I thought you said you were light on your feet!

[BARKING]

Come on, hurry up!

Come on!

PRITT: Ah.

STEPS: Back!

[GRUNTS]

PRITT: Oh, no.

STEPS: Now what?

[WHIMPERING]

PRITT: Hell, somebody will find him.

Probably won't take more than an hour.

He'll get hungry and start howling.

Somebody will come around.

STEPS: Sure.

Take them right back to the pound, I guess.

PRITT: Well, that's where they all end up.

Can't do nothing about that.

Seems kind of a waste.

What does?

Letting all them dogs loose just to have them

picked up a few hours later.

Well, you should've thought about that before you did it.

I did it?

You were the one who opened the door.

You were the one who let them out!

All the same, you were the one who opened the door.

Well, what does that mean?

I ain't saying it means nothing.

Like hell.

Look, it's your dog.

Do what you want with him!

My dog!

I never even saw that dog before last night.

Who tied him up? Not me.

You want him following us all over hell and back?

(SCREAMING) I didn't tie him up!

[ECHO]

You coming or not?

Oh, god damn you, Steps.

You think the cops have been by?

Maybe.

Telling them to be on the lookout for a tap dancing

tramp and a harp playing pug?

Something like that.

Well, what are you going to do, chance it?

You're the one that said I should.

"Just go on up there and explain it to them."

Isn't that what you said?

Well, are you?

Husband will probably be working.

Kids will be at school.

Just the wife, probably.

Well, why don't you do a little dance for her?

You know, break the old witch's heart.

The only thing I have to do is to get her to open the door.

If she does that, I'll just have to whistle.

[WHISTLES] Spot will come running--

if he's there.

[KNOCKS]

Yes?

How do you do, ma'am?

Me name is Jillian Tillitson.

And by a series of very unhappy but unavoidable circumstances,

I have lost my dog, Spot.

Well, I haven't seen any lost dogs in the neighborhood

lately.

Better check with the animal shelter.

Ma'am! Ma'am.

Yes?

I'm afraid I haven't made meself clear.

You see, you have me dog.

What?

Yes, ma'am.

He's a little brown and white dog, isn't he?

Isn't he?

He's about this high and this long,

and he has a very round patch on his-- this side.

I'm afraid you're mistaken.

No, ma'am, I have this address.

We have no dog, no dog at all.

I have this address!

PRITT: Figure she's lying?

Maybe.

Maybe I should give it a try.

[WHISTLES]

That'd bring him out, wouldn't it?

Sure, if you can just get her to open the door.

Woman is about as friendly as an alligator.

Yes?

Afternoon, ma'am.

My name is Waldorf Prittheimer, and this my dog.

And we're on a mission of mercy for the blind brothers

of Saint Emily.

My husband gives to the United Way.

If you're not covered by that organization, I'm sorry.

PRITT: Here, dog.

None of this changes nothing, you know.

Huh?

What I'm saying is, I appreciate

what you did, coming back and helping me at the pound.

And I appreciate what you're doing now,

but what I said back at the bus station still goes.

What gives with you anyway, Steps?

You want me to leave, is that it?

You want me to just get up and walk right on out of here?

That is not what I said.

Look, goddammit, it'd be different

if you were some flat footed stumblebum

and I was some jelly brained pug from getting

my head beat in too many times.

But that just isn't the way it is.

Oh, then how is it?

Four or five days ago, all either one of us

could think about was keeping alive.

Isn't that right?

And now, it's different?

Well, Christ, shouldn't it be?

Is that all living is about?

I thought you said you liked it that way.

That was a load of bull, and you know it.

Bumming's not for guys like you and me.

Hell, no, not guys like you and me.

What then?

A sideshow act in the Barnum and Bailey's circus?

Wake up to it, kid!

Guys like you and me are about as wanted as a dinosaur

in the Long Island ferry.

So what do we do, huh?

We just go on day after day kissing off time

like it doesn't mean a thing?

Is that all it's ever going to be?

Let me ask you something, Pritt.

If I was to turn up me toes tomorrow morning,

what would you do?

You're missing the point.

What I plan to do, I can't do alone.

I need you, Steps, and you need me.

Come here, dog.

[WHISTLING]

PRITT: Spot!

Spot!

Spot!

Spot!

Hey!

PRITT: Spot!

STEPS: Spot!

[BARKING]

STEPS: Spot!

PRITT: Steps!

Steps!

Steps!

[BRAKES SQUEALING]

[BARKING]

[HARMONICA MUSIC]

Over the top!

You've been in my pound too long.

Try again.

And try it again there.

Hey!

Once more.

Over the top!

That's my boy.

Ha ha!

You see that?

PRITT: Australia?

Australia.

Well that's 10,000 miles from here.

Right that way.

Which way?

That way.

Well, how are we gonna get to Australia?

Walk.

[MUSIC PLAYING]