Distracted (1970) - full transcript
A comedy about an absent-minded man who works at a advertising company. He topples from one problem to another.
23 Rue de l'Alma, hurry!
ABSENT-MINDED
Gentlemen, we have to become more
effective.
Printed press explains, cinema shows,
posters confirm.
Advertising depends on science
and technology.
Go ahead, Corbel.
Casimir dog food makes
my dog feel good.
Casimir dog food makes
my dog feel good.
Casimir dog food makes
my dog...
feel good.
-Feel good.
Casimir dog food makes
my dog feel good.
Casimir dog food makes
my dog feel good.
Effectiveness of advertising relies
on a tendency towards optimism.
Like dog, like master.
When my dog smiles, I smile.
Optimism divided by dog food plus square
root of dog divided by master...
equals smile squared.
Have you ever seen a dog smile?
Come on.
My wife's had a dog for 10 years.
I've never seen any smile.
Besides, it's a Pyrenees dog.
-What does that have to do with it?
It just means my wife keeps
a good eye on him.
Of course.
What do you think of this?
Casimir dog food makes
my wife feel good.
I'm not against it.
-But your wife won't be eating it.
No, but she serves it.
I'm not against it.
Imagine that a dog naturally
feels good...
but that the food makes it sad.
With Casimir dog food, my dog once
again feels good.
Not bad. Interesting.
Once again.
-I'm not against it.
Although motivational studies
of dogs have never...
been compared to those of men.
Such a comparison might show there's a
mirror effect between...
various psychomotor activities...
of a mimical nature...
of either race...
in stressful environments.
It's likely, at least.
Indisputable even. Fix it in three days.
Where's Malaquet?
Your protégé seems to be working
in secret, these days.
This kid came highly recommended.
Sweetie...
Sweetie...
Sweetie...
By his mother.
I think we’ll be able to train
him pretty quickly.
Jérico To The Rescue.
-Send in Malaquet.
A good advertising agency should look
like a marching army.
Mr Guiton requests the presence
of Mr Malaquet.
Anybody here?
Anybody here?
Too late, we're here.
I'm sorry.
No, I'm sorry.
-Where are you going?
To Mr Guiton.
It's on the second floor.
Are you new?
-Yes. I'm Pierre Malaquet. And you?
Lisa.
Mr Guiton requests the presence
of Mr Malaquet.
Mr Guiton requests the presence
of Mr Malaquet.
Are you new?
-Didn't I just tell you? And you?
I'm Mrs Guiton.
-Sorry, I thought you were her.
Who?
-The younger woman.
Thanks for that.
-You're welcome.
Do you know he made several films?
Without using the company's budget.
He turned to friends for help.
I wonder about those friends.
What's he doing? Where is he?
Jérico To The Rescue.
-Did you send him here or what?
He left ten minutes ago.
-Henriette.
She's sick.
-I hate sick people.
Thanks for the reception.
Mr Figuier, Mr Corbel.
My wife once again feels good.
-That's enough.
Jérico To The Rescue.
-Lisa.
She left, sir.
Find her, I need her!
Mr Guiton requests the presence
of Mr Malaquet.
Where's the office of Mr Guiton?
You've got to go up.
Mr Guitet requests the presence
of Mr Malaton. No...
Not here. -Mr Guiton?
-He's not here.
Mr Guiton?
-Not here.
Mr Guiton requests the presence
of Mr Malaquet.
Thank you, madam.
Mr Guiton requests the presence
of Mr Malaquet.
Finally.
-I had a little problem.
I understand you have some interesting
projects to show us.
Yes.
Have a seat, young man.
-Thank you.
Grab a chair.
Mrs Guiton!
I'm Mrs Guiton.
Clarisse for the gentlemen.
Show us what you have.
Mr Director, Jérico To The Rescue.
I have chosen some ads that
would do the best job of...
showing the importance of a new
formula.
Pilate soap will wash your hands
up to the bone!
Mr Malaquet, I'm not convinced
by this demonstration.
I have something else.
The expert says Le Bourgé stockings
are the most sexy!
Once again, your sense of humour
isn't working for me.
Now you'll see some shocking
advertising!
Excuse me... lights out.
Let's go!
Right, Count... missed, Count.
Left, Count... missed, Count.
Up, Count... missed, Count.
Countess!
Got it, Count! Nice shot.
My darling...
It's a joy to die from a Rottweil
cartridge.
Rottweil... the cartridge that
gets you!
Horrible.
-That's enough.
One more, sir, it'll be a good one.
St. Michel... the cigarette you
enjoy till the end.
Shameful!
-I've never seen anything this...
scandalous and macabre. Light!
The last one, sir.
Casimir... Casimiraculous...
Lord, have mercy on us.
...tastes as good as human flesh.
The weather forecast.
Improvement around the Mediterranean.
Stormy weather in the South-West.
Overall, France will have nice weather
once the morning fog disappears.
This is France Culture.
Yes.
You've got the wrong number.
No problem.
Sir.
-Hello, sir.
Come in.
Please.
To what do I owe your visit?
Have a seat.
Cigar. A little cigar.
Cigar...
Excuse me.
A little drink.
No?
Make yourself at home.
You're in my home, sir.
Upstairs.
FERNAND SHOES
SAY IT WITH FLOWERS
Accepted.
Take it to the papers.
-Yes, Mr Director.
And now, lunch.
BLOCKED NOSE?
Blocked nose? Uncork it.
PIRATE WINE
That's no good.
This must be a dream.
I must be dreaming.
I must be dreaming.
Mr Guiton requests the presence
of Mr Figuier, Corbel and Mazelin.
Have you seen this?
Tell me I'm dreaming!
Malaquet. Malaquet did this!
Jérico To The Rescue.
-Send Malaquet to me.
Mr Guiton requests the presence
of Mr Malaquet.
Come in.
Come closer.
With Fernand shoes
you'll leave feet first.
WITH FERNAND SHOES
YOU'LL LEAVE FEET FIRST.
I'll go on.
Say it with flowers.
IN LOVING MEMORY
Mr Malaquet, I admire your
sense of initiative.
Have a seat.
But what I don't understand...
The project was almost finished.
Don't tell me you pulled this
off on your own.
All on my own, Mr Director.
And I'm pleased to see you
appreciate my creative talent.
An agency like Jérico has to offer
something extra.
These gentlemen are merely into
advertising.
I'm into publicity.
-I see.
I see, I see.
-It's unbelievable.
Shut up, Corbel.
And which concept of publicity...
is your initiative based on?
I'm very passionate about this topic,
Mr Director.
Someone who doesn't sell is sick and
perverted in the eyes of a buyer.
No the other way around. The non-buyer
is sick in the eyes of the liar.
Not the liar... the seller.
It's the same thing, except
the other way around.
I'd like you to pay attention to
one thing in particular.
A selling point, for instance.
If one is immune to publicity,
one is immune to the products.
At this point we have to make
a choice.
We could consider publicity like
the treatment of a disease.
Like a doctor who treats
a sick person.
The treatment consists of electroshick.
I mean heroic electroshick.
Let me explock... explain.
The corsex of the non-consumer is
affected by the electroshock... cortex!
This should create an interest
in conjunction... consumption!
This will affect the decision making
process: should I buy or not, yes or no?
This transforms into a zenithal
curve...
that represents the urge to buy.
That's it, Mr Director.
I understand.
I'd like you to keep your ideas about
medicine and publicity to yourself.
Next time you make any change,
you'll be fired.
Now get out.
That's your door.
-You're very lenient, Mr Director.
Leave me alone. He...
Sweetie... sweetie.
He's got protection.
I already eat like a bird.
Go starve a nightingale.
You're here because you knew
we had oysters.
I've never been crazy about oysters.
-I don't remember details like that.
I know, dad, I know.
-My dear Glycia!
I don't know, of course...
but I wonder if you suffer from bacilli.
I know I do.
Terrible.
Poor Irene.
-Terrible!
Saint-Gobain aftertwelve.
-Me too.
I went to Switzerland to get
the best professor...
Is Mr Guiton content with you?
He said: "My dear..."
-Is Mr Guiton content with you?
You're not going to not eat that.
-What?
That's the best bit.
-The only thing to do...
I asked if Mr Guiton was content
with you.
He's pigheaded.
Don't speak badly of a man who
tries to keep you in a job.
I told him the white pills weren't
working for me.
Of course, white pills...
-So he gave me yellow ones.
He won't refuse me anything,
but there are limits to my influence.
It's a pollen extract.
Of course.
-Hindus eat it all the time.
Hindus don't eat anything.
It's a strict religion.
It's not cold enough.
-Put your assets in it.
My assets?
-Aren't they frozen?
What else did the professor say?
Roger?
I told him I had a swollen
leg and he said...
I should walk more and not always
take the Cadillac.
Take the Austin.
That's more sporty.
About women again. There are also
men, like us.
Talking about sick people...
A patient inserted a suppository
without taking it out of the plastic.
Roger. Roger!
That's all Hindus eat.
-It's the capital.
Is Guiton content with you?
-Hindus don't eat anything.
I'm talking to you.
-That's all Hindus eat.
I'm talking to you.
-My capital...
I'm talking to you.
-They're frozen.
Mr Guiton!
And then the professor said
I was aging.
Can you believe he said that
to me?
And he said the best remedy against
aging was...
death.
You have a little stain there.
Hey...
Hey...
Is Mr Figuier here?
-No, Mr Director.
Follow me, please.
I have an urgent, delicate job.
That's why I'm trusting you
with it.
Tonight at 8, you'll go to Gastier
to have him sign an important contract.
How are you?
I'm sorry about the late hour, but he
leaves for New York tomorrow morning.
It's about one of Gastier's products:
fluorescent ladies' panties.
The file's on my desk.
I'm counting on you.
Figuier!
And most of all...
-Yes, sir.
I was in time.
-How's it going with Mr Guiton?
Not bad.
The bar's raised high.
But I'm getting there.
My first job's called Gastier.
Gastier? That's my father.
-I'm getting there.
The bar's raised high.
But I'm...
Your father?
He must be very rich then.
My mother died when she gave
birth to me.
My father remarried.
-It's important and confidential.
I have a half-sister called Véronique.
But I'm not in touch with my
family.
Of course, of course.
The bar's raised high.
I'm getting there.
It's about responsibilities.
I think I forgot his address.
Madam, it's 8 o'clock.
Does Mr Gastier live here?
I'm his wife, Juliette Gastier.
I like to welcome my guests
personally.
You're right on time, Mr...
-Malaquet, Pierre Malaquet.
Of course.
Véronique, let me introduce Mr...
Malaquet.
-Mr Malaquet.
My daughter.
You must be the half-sister...
the daughter of Mr Gastier.
I guess so.
Who's that guy?
Thank you.
Excuse me.
Would you like a piece?
-No, thanks.
Really.
-I'm sorry, I had a bit.
If you want.
-Want, what do people want in life?
So many people take absurd risks.
What do you say?
-Say about what?
What?
-What, what?
What, what, that's so easily said.
But you shouldn't hide the truth.
What's your problem?
Yes, yes, Maurice.
This is so funny.
Do you know the story about
the bats?
It's about a family of bats who
go on a weekend trip.
The baby bats have to learn to fly.
They look out on the airport.
The parents say: do like the
airplanes do.
So they go...
When the parents come back...
It's the power of advertising.
Of course.
Yes, that's a problem.
He's crazy.
Who is it?
I'll teach him a little lesson.
Stay back.
I think your eccentricity has made
me underestimate you.
Have you seen the park?
-No.
Let me show you.
It's beautiful at this hour.
Virginie, I wish my name was Paul.
-Wouldn't matter, my name's Véronique.
Good, because my name's Pierre.
You're tall for a half-sister.
So you know Lisa, the little saint?
-Yes, but I don't worship her.
It's you I'd like to pay homage to.
-You're in quite a hurry.
I can't follow you.
-Yet you breathe virtue.
But I get out of breath quickly.
-You got off to a bad start.
That may or may not be true.
-Why is that?
Truth on this side of the Pyrenees,
error on the other.
Not perineum, Pyrenees.
-That's what I said.
I prefer the Alps anyway.
Apart from the accidents.
You're right to be laughing.
We must laugh before we are happy, for
fear of dying without having laughed.
That's De La Bruyère.
No, it's a weed.
I'll talk to the gardener.
You remind me of Lady Chatterley.
-Why is that?
She had relations with her gardener.
-But I don't have relations with mine.
Opportunity makes the thief.
You've never been slapped in the face.
-Yes, I have.
By the wind, the rain,
a lock of hair.
How do you like my hair?
Watching your hair, I feel like a fly
in front of a spider web.
So you think I'm a spider?
No, just that your hair's a trap
for a lonely heart.
Were you this lyric when you
were young?
I would sometimes write a little
poem for an unrequited love.
Do you want me to tell you?
-I'm listening.
Push me harder.
I have often dreamt of you.
And I've wanted to live those dreams.
-Harder.
But your love, my sweet friend...
-That's hard enough.
was not to be.
-Not so hard.
A black bird flew through the skies.
-Not so hard.
Between my lips and yours.
-Not so hard!
Time went by...
Do something, idiot!
Me, Alfred Gastier, I've been waiting
for more than an hour.
Mind your heart.
What kind of idiots do they
send to me?
Listen, Alfred.
-I'm ruined.
In 45 minutes, they'll have to
reimburse me my money.
But listen...
-Leave me in peace!
Calm down.
Let me pour you a glass.
It's too hot here.
But...
What are you doing, Mr Malaquet?
-I'm helping Véronique.
Véronique doesn't need a ladder.
Come.
Feeling better?
I'll pour you a really nice drink.
Hungarian Tokay that dates back
to Franz Joseph.
That's a delicious little...
I'm sorry.
-It's nothing.
Look.
-Thank you.
I don't understand.
All I did was...
A glass please, Robert.
I'm so sorry.
That was a funny little act, Mr...
Mr...
-Malaquet. Pierre Malaquet.
Mr Malaquet, you must be one of
my daughter's friends.
No, I'm here on behalf of Jérico.
Jérico To The Rescue.
One second.
It's you?
You're the one who were supposed
to bring a file to my office tonight?
To my office! Not to my home,
where you were not invited...
as opposed to my friends.
My briefcase...
What's wrong?
I was in time and it's all
been prepared.
You only have to sign for
the project.
Quiet! I'll talk to your boss
about this. Get out!
Get lost!
My petunias!
My dog!
Help!
-My daughter!
Your heart.
Go, yes.
40-15.
-No, 30.
Pierre Malaquet's here, sir.
-Let him wait in the greenhouse.
Keep him. He'll get better.
Kick him out.
Alright, I'll go with
your decision.
Play 3 sets to decide his future.
-Pierre's future? Oh no.
Yes, alright.
-What an idea.
30-30.
Deuce.
-No, 40-30!
Deuce!
Let's have a break. I'm exhausted.
-It's so hot.
That was a good game, wasn't it?
I'll be right back.
Want a drink?
Quick, we don't have that
much time.
But it's only 4 o'clock.
-Hush.
I love you. I want you.
Good. Thank you, Lisa.
-No, Clarisse.
Just relax.
Kiss me, your fate is decided
by my racket.
That's great.
Pierre, you're so strong.
I prefer to play single.
Undress me.
I'm so hot.
-Certainly, Mrs Guiton.
I'm so hot.
-Yes, it is rather warm here.
Well?
-Yes, excuse me.
Pull it back up!
You're so clumsy!
It's stuck.
-But...
It's stuck.
Where are you?
-It's stuck!
What's happening?
Get me out of here.
Please!
Get me out of here.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
My hair!
Now you've done it.
-Thank you.
I'm going to lose.
I'll avenge you, madam.
Vae victum.
Victis, sir.
Sweetie.
Malaquet, this way.
This is the office Mr Guiton
has given you.
It was the only empty room.
-But what about the birds?
They belong to the boss, but his
wife doesn't want them around anymore.
But...
-His wife doesn't want them anymore.
Have a good day.
Lisa, type that letter again,
please.
Malaquet?
-I'm here, sir.
I know.
The office of... excuse me.
The office of Mr Figuier, please.
Do you have an appointment?
-No, I have a company.
Alright. Submanager, fourth floor,
second door.
Thank you, miss.
Submanager, fourth floor,
second door.
Submanager, fourth floor,
second door.
Submanager, fourth floor,
second door.
Manager, third floor, second door.
Manager, third floor...
Miss.
Third floor, second manager, door.
Gentlemen, we have to become more
effective.
Your turn, Corbel.
Right, let me think.
Silence.
Who sang?
Who sang?
Careful, Mazelin.
Be quiet!
Come in, sir.
These are the submanagers.
Please come in.
Good day.
Have a seat.
Thank you.
-You're welcome.
Thank you.
-You're welcome.
Allow me.
-Excuse me.
Let me introduce myself.
-Nice to meet you. -Thank you.
-What can I do for you?
-A chair.
A chair? Certainly.
Thank you. Excuse me.
Let me explain.
My file.
Your file.
-Thank you.
I forgot to put the papers in.
My pen.
Thank you.
My lighter. In my coat.
-His coat.
My coat.
-His coat.
My file!
Let's see.
My glasses.
-Your coat!
Thanks, thanks.
Goodbye, sir.
-Goodbye.
Sir!
Thank you very much.
Excuse me, I'm very absent-minded.
That happens to me too.
-Does it?
I'm listening.
-Alright. I'm from toothpaste brand...
Klerdene.
And I would like to launch...
It's great, I have my first customer.
-Bravo.
I saw him this afternoon.
-Who is it?
It's a gentleman who... sells
toothpaste.
It's not exactly new.
What does it matter?
Will you give me a ride?
-Sure, to nowhere.
Alright.
I can't open it.
-You have to go like this.
Careful.
Goodbye. -Goodbye.
-Have a good trip.
This way, it's more intimate.
The highway to the south, please.
It's underground. We have
to go left.
I'll see what's happening.
I've got a flat tyre.
It's flat too.
Pierre, I shouldn't...
A woman shouldn't speak out first.
Sure, sure.
I'm happy the car broke down.
The countryside...
The trees...
And your hand that's holding mine.
That hand will lead us beyond taboos
and barriers of all kinds.
We shall walk confidently
towards success.
Lisa, I'll tell you everything.
I think I've found the real
power of advertising.
That's a start.
-Yes, advertising in the streets.
Can anybody perform mouth to mouth
resuscitation?
I can.
-No, I can.
I was here before you.
-Yes, but I saw her fall!
So if anyone can help,
it would be me.
We need a specialist.
I'm a pool attendant.
-Salvation of the soul...
...requires care of the body.
Us!
Klerdene?
-Yes.
All clean.
Thank you, Klerdene.
Can anybody perform mouth to mouth
resuscitation?
Me! -Me!
-No way!
Anybody who can perform mouth to
mouth resuscitation?
Klerdene?
Me! -Me!
-Thanks, Klerdene.
Mouth-to-mouth?
-Me!
Advertising stops at nothing. A young
woman was almost collectively raped...
as a result of an advertising event
organised by Klerdene toothpaste.
In our evening program we’ll have more
information about the Klerdene incident.
Klerdene, twice.
Guiton? I don't care about Guiton.
I want to talk to Malaquet, the manager.
Sir, the Director...
-That's Malaquet, I know.
I know your Director.
Young, blond, intelligent.
He's on the third floor.
-No, he's on the second floor.
Well, there you go.
Mr Malaquet.
I hope the girl you used for your
dirty games, isn't from our company.
Mr Director...
Mr Klerdene.
Bravo, Mr Director.
All the stations are talking about
my product. For free.
Bravo, Mr Director, bravo.
-This is Mr Guiton.
Yes, yes. Hello.
Orders have already doubled.
-Mr Guiton...
Yes... I've given the address of your
agency to a good friend of mine.
Guiton speaking. For you.
Yes? Yes!
Very good. Yes, yes.
Clistax. Tomorrow at 3 pm.
Certainly. Tomorrow at 3.
Goodbye.
Take note, young man.
Tomorrow at 3, Clistax.
You see, Mr Director.
-Mr Guiton's...
Yes, yes. You'll see I'm not
an ungrateful person.
I'll start a complete campaign.
Mr Malaquet, I can't advise you enough
to walk on eggs this time.
Eggs? I've got an idea!
From now on, I'll only want
to work with you.
Mr Director... you're wearing
my glasses.
Excuse me.
Thank you.
Goodbye, Mr Director.
-Goodbye, Mr Clistex.
Clistax.
-Yes, Mr Director.
Nice talking to you, Mr Director.
I'm the Director, Mr Guiton.
Yes, let's get back to work.
Miss, take down a letter.
In reply to your letter from the 18th
of this month, I'd like to inform...
you that we would like to receive
some samples.
The last shipment of snowboots left
a lot to be desired.
My product's unique.
So it's a monopoly, Mr Clistax?
Yes, but I won't sell it.
-I'll promote it.
We're talking about bags
for little bags.
I thought you meant little bags
for bags.
No, I aim higher than that.
-The bar's raised high.
Yes, but I'm getting there.
This won't change anything to the ad
I've prepared. Listen.
Clistax has been thinking of you,
dear listeners.
Tomorrow, hundreds of Clistax men
will be walking through the city.
Each of them will be carrying
an egg.
Grab yourself an egg and
start looking for them.
When you'll find a Clistax man, break
your egg on his head and yell...
Bravo, Clistax!
You'll receive a Clistax bag.
And each bag will contain
1000 little bags!
Buy Clistax, the only bag for
little bags.
Clistax has been thinking of you...
-Don't forget your egg.
Tomorrow, hundreds of Clistax men will
be walking through the city.
Each of them will be carrying
an egg.
Grab yourself an egg and
start looking for them.
When you'll find a Clistax man, break
your...
Grab yourself an egg and
start looking for them.
When you'll find a Clistax man, break
your egg on his head and yell "Bravo!"
You'll receive a Clistax bag.
And each bag will contain
1000 little bags!
Buy Clistax, the only bag for
little bags.
Bravo, Clistax!
-Bravo, Clistax!
Bravo, Clistax!
Bravo, Clistax!
-Bravo, Clistax!
I'm not mister Clistax!
I'm not Clistax!
Alright, I'm Mr Clistax.
Police! Police!
After the Klerdene case, the Jérico
agency makes the news again.
A publicity event they organised,
has started a big riot.
Yes... yes!
I know, I know.
He's going too far.
He's crazy.
Mr Corbel, I have two reasons to
keep him.
First of all, there's a client who
wants him, only him. Secondly...
Sweetie, sweetie...
Your love has nourished my soul
like a dewdrop...
on a dead leaf, abandoned
in the wind.
Sweetie...
Sweetie...
Secondly, there's a client who
wants him, only him.
You already said that, Mr Director.
All the more reason.
Here you go.
Why are you so absent-minded?
I'm absent-minded?
-Yes.
You're starting a mechanism that'll
get out of hand.
A mechanism?
-You start riots.
How do you think of something like that?
Why are you so absent-minded?
Absent-minded? Me?
But everybody's absent-minded.
Look.
Shouldn't you be working?
For him, playing is natural.
I took his mind from it.
Now he's absent-minded.
I'm not the only one who's
absent-minded.
FOLLOW THE ARROW
Can't you be more careful?
Careful...
-What a noise.
What a day.
What's wrong with these idiots?
Careful!
Thank you, sir.
Lisa, absent-minded people
are daydreamers.
I'm not a daydreamer.
I had a great childhood.
My father ignored me completely.
My mother only had eyes for me.
I've always been an adult.
An adult?
-Yes.
When you think back of adventures
or of playing with friends...
you're not absent-minded.
Yes, you are.
-No.
The clouds are always there.
They just change shape.
But it's the clouds that count.
And the heart.
The heart?
-Heart and clouds are the same thing.
I used to know a girl.
She really made me feel alive.
But she broke up with me.
She wrote me a letter full of clouds.
It rained in that letter.
I was drenched.
Soaking wet, Lisa.
That doesn't make you absent-minded.
-I don't know, Pierre.
What did I say about clouds?
Yes, my father...
If I would have a son...
A son?
Yes, a son. I wouldn't have him
if I was absent-minded.
Anyway, I'll never have a son.
And he knows it.
Who?
-My son.
See? I'm not absent-minded.
I'm not the only absent-minded one.
Some are more absent-minded than me.
Thank you.
I've got my advertising idea!
Strange, I don't feel at ease.
Enough!
You're so nervous.
-Sir!
There's a limit!
No more digestive problems
with Selo Digest.
Selo Digest.
Your pharmacist takes it too.
It's not bad, but a bit laboured.
Do you think so?
-Yes, I believe...
I think this one's better.
Put this in the projector, please.
This mask will make the character
more realistic.
More authentic.
How do I put it... stronger.
I can't handle it.
I can't handle being the victim
of this.
It's terrible.
I'll take the Casimir dog food
to the television.
Mazelin.
-Yes?
Send Malaquet in right away.
Yes, Mr Director.
Pierre, throw the film out.
You've gone too far.
Do you think?
-I beg you.
But this will really work.
-Listen to me.
Do it for me.
You don't realise...
Maybe you're right.
I'll do as you say. I'll be back.
And take the mask off, Pierre.
Idiot!
-Yes, sir.
No mushroom like the Jandou mushroom.
And don't forget...
Keep the labels of your cans
of chopped mushroom.
100 chopped mushroom labels entitle
you to one can of whole mushrooms.
Bravo, that's a good idea.
A generous idea. Buy chopped mushrooms.
I love whole mushrooms.
And now, the Jérico advertising agency
presents the first episode of...
Nightmares of Selo Digest.
I'm afraid, mummy.
-Don't worry.
It's nothing. Don't be afraid.
I'm afraid, mummy.
It's only television.
Let's go!
We don't want to watch this!
How could you let that happen?
-I didn't know anything about it.
It's him.
-Yes, I recognize him.
Shameful advertising! Bastard!
That was disgusting!
-Shameful!
What about the children?
I love her... I love her...
I love her!
Listen...
-Yes, but...
It's unacceptable!
We've been waiting for
half an hour.
Gentlemen...
Mr Guiton!
That an insane man is sabotaging
your agency is your business.
But he makes the whole city
look bad.
We have to stop the wave of animosity
that's directed towards us.
I've been receiving reports about the
alarming state of mind of the people.
Let's talk about that state
of mind.
I've started an advertising campaign
this morning and it was catastrophic!
Can I ask you something
on television, sir?
That's very friendly of you.
Make room, please.
What would you say is the best
table wine?
Try, sir, it's important.
If you answer correctly and have
2000 lids...
of this great wine, you'll win a trip
to Sarcelles.
Please give me your answer.
-Kiss my ass, sir.
This is serious, sir.
No joking, please.
Besides, I know you have
the 2000 lids on you.
I say kiss my ass, sir.
If you insist, you won't get...
2000 lids, but my fist
in your face.
This man's promoting alcoholism.
How can you say that?
Let go off me.
Keep your hands off me!
The public don't want products shoved
into their faces anymore.
Malaquet's responsible. Don't let
his innocent appearance fool you.
Guiton, you have to fire him.
-Sweetie, sweetie...
Sweetie...
No more sweetie.
This is the end of the sweeties.
Malaquet's fired.
Jérico To The Rescue.
-Send Pierre Malaquet in.
He's not in.
We can wait.
Let us in!
It's him!
I love her!
Have you seen Lisa?
France, where's Lisa? I love her!
She's with the boss in the meeting room.
-I love her... I love her!
And that's how you deal with
a problem.
Very good.
Excuse me, is Lisa not here?
I love her.
I love her!
-Pierre?
Pierre?
Pierre!
Lisa? Lisa!
Lisa!
Asshole, did you sleep with Lisa?
I knew you had a mistress!
Lisa? Which Lisa?
-Lisa Gastier.
But she lives on the first floor.
-How do you know that?
Pierre?
Pierre!
Sir.
-I love her.
Hello, Lisa?
Yes?
-Lisa, listen. Where are you?
At your place.
-At my place? I'm coming.
Pierre, where are you going?
Excuse me, madam.
Lisa! Lisa, I love you!
I'm crazy about you, Lisa!
-Pierre!
Lisa, I'm crazy about you.
I love you.
Sweetie, give him another chance.
Those 'sweeties' cost me a fortune.
-Sweetie...
My last chance is to never give
him a chance again.
Sweetie... sweetie...
No and no.
He'll ruin my company.
You have to understand the
situation I'm in.
Sweetie.
Does your son like to travel?
Long travels?
I know you'll do a good job.
Let's hurry, Glycia.
No, no!
Don't forget your suitcase.
Careful, the door!
Have you got your tickets?
-Left back pocket.
At what time do you leave?
-At 9:25, in 40 minutes.
Perfect, perfect.
After I had decided to send
your son off...
I immediately contacted Galloway
at Madison Avenue.
Wait for us, Pierre.
-Will Galloway really look after Pierre?
No, Pierre will look after
Galloway.
I sowed the address of your employer
into the lining of your jacket.
That's enough. Let's go.
Your new Director's expecting
you on Monday.
Have a good trip.
Come on!
-Keep a good eye on him, Lisa.
Make sure he puts his seatbelt on!
To America!
-Fasten your seatbelt, please.
Excuse me.
Where are the toilets?
-In the back, second door to the left.
Fasten your seatbelt, please.
It was pure self-defence, Glycia.
-What?
It was pure self-defence.
We needed the Atlantic Ocean between us.
He thinks and talks at the same time,
but rarely talks about what he thinks.
When he says 'no', it often
has to be 'yes.'
And when he says 'yes',
he means 'no.'
He doesn't pay attention to you
or anybody or anything.
ABSENT-MINDED
Gentlemen, we have to become more
effective.
Printed press explains, cinema shows,
posters confirm.
Advertising depends on science
and technology.
Go ahead, Corbel.
Casimir dog food makes
my dog feel good.
Casimir dog food makes
my dog feel good.
Casimir dog food makes
my dog...
feel good.
-Feel good.
Casimir dog food makes
my dog feel good.
Casimir dog food makes
my dog feel good.
Effectiveness of advertising relies
on a tendency towards optimism.
Like dog, like master.
When my dog smiles, I smile.
Optimism divided by dog food plus square
root of dog divided by master...
equals smile squared.
Have you ever seen a dog smile?
Come on.
My wife's had a dog for 10 years.
I've never seen any smile.
Besides, it's a Pyrenees dog.
-What does that have to do with it?
It just means my wife keeps
a good eye on him.
Of course.
What do you think of this?
Casimir dog food makes
my wife feel good.
I'm not against it.
-But your wife won't be eating it.
No, but she serves it.
I'm not against it.
Imagine that a dog naturally
feels good...
but that the food makes it sad.
With Casimir dog food, my dog once
again feels good.
Not bad. Interesting.
Once again.
-I'm not against it.
Although motivational studies
of dogs have never...
been compared to those of men.
Such a comparison might show there's a
mirror effect between...
various psychomotor activities...
of a mimical nature...
of either race...
in stressful environments.
It's likely, at least.
Indisputable even. Fix it in three days.
Where's Malaquet?
Your protégé seems to be working
in secret, these days.
This kid came highly recommended.
Sweetie...
Sweetie...
Sweetie...
By his mother.
I think we’ll be able to train
him pretty quickly.
Jérico To The Rescue.
-Send in Malaquet.
A good advertising agency should look
like a marching army.
Mr Guiton requests the presence
of Mr Malaquet.
Anybody here?
Anybody here?
Too late, we're here.
I'm sorry.
No, I'm sorry.
-Where are you going?
To Mr Guiton.
It's on the second floor.
Are you new?
-Yes. I'm Pierre Malaquet. And you?
Lisa.
Mr Guiton requests the presence
of Mr Malaquet.
Mr Guiton requests the presence
of Mr Malaquet.
Are you new?
-Didn't I just tell you? And you?
I'm Mrs Guiton.
-Sorry, I thought you were her.
Who?
-The younger woman.
Thanks for that.
-You're welcome.
Do you know he made several films?
Without using the company's budget.
He turned to friends for help.
I wonder about those friends.
What's he doing? Where is he?
Jérico To The Rescue.
-Did you send him here or what?
He left ten minutes ago.
-Henriette.
She's sick.
-I hate sick people.
Thanks for the reception.
Mr Figuier, Mr Corbel.
My wife once again feels good.
-That's enough.
Jérico To The Rescue.
-Lisa.
She left, sir.
Find her, I need her!
Mr Guiton requests the presence
of Mr Malaquet.
Where's the office of Mr Guiton?
You've got to go up.
Mr Guitet requests the presence
of Mr Malaton. No...
Not here. -Mr Guiton?
-He's not here.
Mr Guiton?
-Not here.
Mr Guiton requests the presence
of Mr Malaquet.
Thank you, madam.
Mr Guiton requests the presence
of Mr Malaquet.
Finally.
-I had a little problem.
I understand you have some interesting
projects to show us.
Yes.
Have a seat, young man.
-Thank you.
Grab a chair.
Mrs Guiton!
I'm Mrs Guiton.
Clarisse for the gentlemen.
Show us what you have.
Mr Director, Jérico To The Rescue.
I have chosen some ads that
would do the best job of...
showing the importance of a new
formula.
Pilate soap will wash your hands
up to the bone!
Mr Malaquet, I'm not convinced
by this demonstration.
I have something else.
The expert says Le Bourgé stockings
are the most sexy!
Once again, your sense of humour
isn't working for me.
Now you'll see some shocking
advertising!
Excuse me... lights out.
Let's go!
Right, Count... missed, Count.
Left, Count... missed, Count.
Up, Count... missed, Count.
Countess!
Got it, Count! Nice shot.
My darling...
It's a joy to die from a Rottweil
cartridge.
Rottweil... the cartridge that
gets you!
Horrible.
-That's enough.
One more, sir, it'll be a good one.
St. Michel... the cigarette you
enjoy till the end.
Shameful!
-I've never seen anything this...
scandalous and macabre. Light!
The last one, sir.
Casimir... Casimiraculous...
Lord, have mercy on us.
...tastes as good as human flesh.
The weather forecast.
Improvement around the Mediterranean.
Stormy weather in the South-West.
Overall, France will have nice weather
once the morning fog disappears.
This is France Culture.
Yes.
You've got the wrong number.
No problem.
Sir.
-Hello, sir.
Come in.
Please.
To what do I owe your visit?
Have a seat.
Cigar. A little cigar.
Cigar...
Excuse me.
A little drink.
No?
Make yourself at home.
You're in my home, sir.
Upstairs.
FERNAND SHOES
SAY IT WITH FLOWERS
Accepted.
Take it to the papers.
-Yes, Mr Director.
And now, lunch.
BLOCKED NOSE?
Blocked nose? Uncork it.
PIRATE WINE
That's no good.
This must be a dream.
I must be dreaming.
I must be dreaming.
Mr Guiton requests the presence
of Mr Figuier, Corbel and Mazelin.
Have you seen this?
Tell me I'm dreaming!
Malaquet. Malaquet did this!
Jérico To The Rescue.
-Send Malaquet to me.
Mr Guiton requests the presence
of Mr Malaquet.
Come in.
Come closer.
With Fernand shoes
you'll leave feet first.
WITH FERNAND SHOES
YOU'LL LEAVE FEET FIRST.
I'll go on.
Say it with flowers.
IN LOVING MEMORY
Mr Malaquet, I admire your
sense of initiative.
Have a seat.
But what I don't understand...
The project was almost finished.
Don't tell me you pulled this
off on your own.
All on my own, Mr Director.
And I'm pleased to see you
appreciate my creative talent.
An agency like Jérico has to offer
something extra.
These gentlemen are merely into
advertising.
I'm into publicity.
-I see.
I see, I see.
-It's unbelievable.
Shut up, Corbel.
And which concept of publicity...
is your initiative based on?
I'm very passionate about this topic,
Mr Director.
Someone who doesn't sell is sick and
perverted in the eyes of a buyer.
No the other way around. The non-buyer
is sick in the eyes of the liar.
Not the liar... the seller.
It's the same thing, except
the other way around.
I'd like you to pay attention to
one thing in particular.
A selling point, for instance.
If one is immune to publicity,
one is immune to the products.
At this point we have to make
a choice.
We could consider publicity like
the treatment of a disease.
Like a doctor who treats
a sick person.
The treatment consists of electroshick.
I mean heroic electroshick.
Let me explock... explain.
The corsex of the non-consumer is
affected by the electroshock... cortex!
This should create an interest
in conjunction... consumption!
This will affect the decision making
process: should I buy or not, yes or no?
This transforms into a zenithal
curve...
that represents the urge to buy.
That's it, Mr Director.
I understand.
I'd like you to keep your ideas about
medicine and publicity to yourself.
Next time you make any change,
you'll be fired.
Now get out.
That's your door.
-You're very lenient, Mr Director.
Leave me alone. He...
Sweetie... sweetie.
He's got protection.
I already eat like a bird.
Go starve a nightingale.
You're here because you knew
we had oysters.
I've never been crazy about oysters.
-I don't remember details like that.
I know, dad, I know.
-My dear Glycia!
I don't know, of course...
but I wonder if you suffer from bacilli.
I know I do.
Terrible.
Poor Irene.
-Terrible!
Saint-Gobain aftertwelve.
-Me too.
I went to Switzerland to get
the best professor...
Is Mr Guiton content with you?
He said: "My dear..."
-Is Mr Guiton content with you?
You're not going to not eat that.
-What?
That's the best bit.
-The only thing to do...
I asked if Mr Guiton was content
with you.
He's pigheaded.
Don't speak badly of a man who
tries to keep you in a job.
I told him the white pills weren't
working for me.
Of course, white pills...
-So he gave me yellow ones.
He won't refuse me anything,
but there are limits to my influence.
It's a pollen extract.
Of course.
-Hindus eat it all the time.
Hindus don't eat anything.
It's a strict religion.
It's not cold enough.
-Put your assets in it.
My assets?
-Aren't they frozen?
What else did the professor say?
Roger?
I told him I had a swollen
leg and he said...
I should walk more and not always
take the Cadillac.
Take the Austin.
That's more sporty.
About women again. There are also
men, like us.
Talking about sick people...
A patient inserted a suppository
without taking it out of the plastic.
Roger. Roger!
That's all Hindus eat.
-It's the capital.
Is Guiton content with you?
-Hindus don't eat anything.
I'm talking to you.
-That's all Hindus eat.
I'm talking to you.
-My capital...
I'm talking to you.
-They're frozen.
Mr Guiton!
And then the professor said
I was aging.
Can you believe he said that
to me?
And he said the best remedy against
aging was...
death.
You have a little stain there.
Hey...
Hey...
Is Mr Figuier here?
-No, Mr Director.
Follow me, please.
I have an urgent, delicate job.
That's why I'm trusting you
with it.
Tonight at 8, you'll go to Gastier
to have him sign an important contract.
How are you?
I'm sorry about the late hour, but he
leaves for New York tomorrow morning.
It's about one of Gastier's products:
fluorescent ladies' panties.
The file's on my desk.
I'm counting on you.
Figuier!
And most of all...
-Yes, sir.
I was in time.
-How's it going with Mr Guiton?
Not bad.
The bar's raised high.
But I'm getting there.
My first job's called Gastier.
Gastier? That's my father.
-I'm getting there.
The bar's raised high.
But I'm...
Your father?
He must be very rich then.
My mother died when she gave
birth to me.
My father remarried.
-It's important and confidential.
I have a half-sister called Véronique.
But I'm not in touch with my
family.
Of course, of course.
The bar's raised high.
I'm getting there.
It's about responsibilities.
I think I forgot his address.
Madam, it's 8 o'clock.
Does Mr Gastier live here?
I'm his wife, Juliette Gastier.
I like to welcome my guests
personally.
You're right on time, Mr...
-Malaquet, Pierre Malaquet.
Of course.
Véronique, let me introduce Mr...
Malaquet.
-Mr Malaquet.
My daughter.
You must be the half-sister...
the daughter of Mr Gastier.
I guess so.
Who's that guy?
Thank you.
Excuse me.
Would you like a piece?
-No, thanks.
Really.
-I'm sorry, I had a bit.
If you want.
-Want, what do people want in life?
So many people take absurd risks.
What do you say?
-Say about what?
What?
-What, what?
What, what, that's so easily said.
But you shouldn't hide the truth.
What's your problem?
Yes, yes, Maurice.
This is so funny.
Do you know the story about
the bats?
It's about a family of bats who
go on a weekend trip.
The baby bats have to learn to fly.
They look out on the airport.
The parents say: do like the
airplanes do.
So they go...
When the parents come back...
It's the power of advertising.
Of course.
Yes, that's a problem.
He's crazy.
Who is it?
I'll teach him a little lesson.
Stay back.
I think your eccentricity has made
me underestimate you.
Have you seen the park?
-No.
Let me show you.
It's beautiful at this hour.
Virginie, I wish my name was Paul.
-Wouldn't matter, my name's Véronique.
Good, because my name's Pierre.
You're tall for a half-sister.
So you know Lisa, the little saint?
-Yes, but I don't worship her.
It's you I'd like to pay homage to.
-You're in quite a hurry.
I can't follow you.
-Yet you breathe virtue.
But I get out of breath quickly.
-You got off to a bad start.
That may or may not be true.
-Why is that?
Truth on this side of the Pyrenees,
error on the other.
Not perineum, Pyrenees.
-That's what I said.
I prefer the Alps anyway.
Apart from the accidents.
You're right to be laughing.
We must laugh before we are happy, for
fear of dying without having laughed.
That's De La Bruyère.
No, it's a weed.
I'll talk to the gardener.
You remind me of Lady Chatterley.
-Why is that?
She had relations with her gardener.
-But I don't have relations with mine.
Opportunity makes the thief.
You've never been slapped in the face.
-Yes, I have.
By the wind, the rain,
a lock of hair.
How do you like my hair?
Watching your hair, I feel like a fly
in front of a spider web.
So you think I'm a spider?
No, just that your hair's a trap
for a lonely heart.
Were you this lyric when you
were young?
I would sometimes write a little
poem for an unrequited love.
Do you want me to tell you?
-I'm listening.
Push me harder.
I have often dreamt of you.
And I've wanted to live those dreams.
-Harder.
But your love, my sweet friend...
-That's hard enough.
was not to be.
-Not so hard.
A black bird flew through the skies.
-Not so hard.
Between my lips and yours.
-Not so hard!
Time went by...
Do something, idiot!
Me, Alfred Gastier, I've been waiting
for more than an hour.
Mind your heart.
What kind of idiots do they
send to me?
Listen, Alfred.
-I'm ruined.
In 45 minutes, they'll have to
reimburse me my money.
But listen...
-Leave me in peace!
Calm down.
Let me pour you a glass.
It's too hot here.
But...
What are you doing, Mr Malaquet?
-I'm helping Véronique.
Véronique doesn't need a ladder.
Come.
Feeling better?
I'll pour you a really nice drink.
Hungarian Tokay that dates back
to Franz Joseph.
That's a delicious little...
I'm sorry.
-It's nothing.
Look.
-Thank you.
I don't understand.
All I did was...
A glass please, Robert.
I'm so sorry.
That was a funny little act, Mr...
Mr...
-Malaquet. Pierre Malaquet.
Mr Malaquet, you must be one of
my daughter's friends.
No, I'm here on behalf of Jérico.
Jérico To The Rescue.
One second.
It's you?
You're the one who were supposed
to bring a file to my office tonight?
To my office! Not to my home,
where you were not invited...
as opposed to my friends.
My briefcase...
What's wrong?
I was in time and it's all
been prepared.
You only have to sign for
the project.
Quiet! I'll talk to your boss
about this. Get out!
Get lost!
My petunias!
My dog!
Help!
-My daughter!
Your heart.
Go, yes.
40-15.
-No, 30.
Pierre Malaquet's here, sir.
-Let him wait in the greenhouse.
Keep him. He'll get better.
Kick him out.
Alright, I'll go with
your decision.
Play 3 sets to decide his future.
-Pierre's future? Oh no.
Yes, alright.
-What an idea.
30-30.
Deuce.
-No, 40-30!
Deuce!
Let's have a break. I'm exhausted.
-It's so hot.
That was a good game, wasn't it?
I'll be right back.
Want a drink?
Quick, we don't have that
much time.
But it's only 4 o'clock.
-Hush.
I love you. I want you.
Good. Thank you, Lisa.
-No, Clarisse.
Just relax.
Kiss me, your fate is decided
by my racket.
That's great.
Pierre, you're so strong.
I prefer to play single.
Undress me.
I'm so hot.
-Certainly, Mrs Guiton.
I'm so hot.
-Yes, it is rather warm here.
Well?
-Yes, excuse me.
Pull it back up!
You're so clumsy!
It's stuck.
-But...
It's stuck.
Where are you?
-It's stuck!
What's happening?
Get me out of here.
Please!
Get me out of here.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
My hair!
Now you've done it.
-Thank you.
I'm going to lose.
I'll avenge you, madam.
Vae victum.
Victis, sir.
Sweetie.
Malaquet, this way.
This is the office Mr Guiton
has given you.
It was the only empty room.
-But what about the birds?
They belong to the boss, but his
wife doesn't want them around anymore.
But...
-His wife doesn't want them anymore.
Have a good day.
Lisa, type that letter again,
please.
Malaquet?
-I'm here, sir.
I know.
The office of... excuse me.
The office of Mr Figuier, please.
Do you have an appointment?
-No, I have a company.
Alright. Submanager, fourth floor,
second door.
Thank you, miss.
Submanager, fourth floor,
second door.
Submanager, fourth floor,
second door.
Submanager, fourth floor,
second door.
Manager, third floor, second door.
Manager, third floor...
Miss.
Third floor, second manager, door.
Gentlemen, we have to become more
effective.
Your turn, Corbel.
Right, let me think.
Silence.
Who sang?
Who sang?
Careful, Mazelin.
Be quiet!
Come in, sir.
These are the submanagers.
Please come in.
Good day.
Have a seat.
Thank you.
-You're welcome.
Thank you.
-You're welcome.
Allow me.
-Excuse me.
Let me introduce myself.
-Nice to meet you. -Thank you.
-What can I do for you?
-A chair.
A chair? Certainly.
Thank you. Excuse me.
Let me explain.
My file.
Your file.
-Thank you.
I forgot to put the papers in.
My pen.
Thank you.
My lighter. In my coat.
-His coat.
My coat.
-His coat.
My file!
Let's see.
My glasses.
-Your coat!
Thanks, thanks.
Goodbye, sir.
-Goodbye.
Sir!
Thank you very much.
Excuse me, I'm very absent-minded.
That happens to me too.
-Does it?
I'm listening.
-Alright. I'm from toothpaste brand...
Klerdene.
And I would like to launch...
It's great, I have my first customer.
-Bravo.
I saw him this afternoon.
-Who is it?
It's a gentleman who... sells
toothpaste.
It's not exactly new.
What does it matter?
Will you give me a ride?
-Sure, to nowhere.
Alright.
I can't open it.
-You have to go like this.
Careful.
Goodbye. -Goodbye.
-Have a good trip.
This way, it's more intimate.
The highway to the south, please.
It's underground. We have
to go left.
I'll see what's happening.
I've got a flat tyre.
It's flat too.
Pierre, I shouldn't...
A woman shouldn't speak out first.
Sure, sure.
I'm happy the car broke down.
The countryside...
The trees...
And your hand that's holding mine.
That hand will lead us beyond taboos
and barriers of all kinds.
We shall walk confidently
towards success.
Lisa, I'll tell you everything.
I think I've found the real
power of advertising.
That's a start.
-Yes, advertising in the streets.
Can anybody perform mouth to mouth
resuscitation?
I can.
-No, I can.
I was here before you.
-Yes, but I saw her fall!
So if anyone can help,
it would be me.
We need a specialist.
I'm a pool attendant.
-Salvation of the soul...
...requires care of the body.
Us!
Klerdene?
-Yes.
All clean.
Thank you, Klerdene.
Can anybody perform mouth to mouth
resuscitation?
Me! -Me!
-No way!
Anybody who can perform mouth to
mouth resuscitation?
Klerdene?
Me! -Me!
-Thanks, Klerdene.
Mouth-to-mouth?
-Me!
Advertising stops at nothing. A young
woman was almost collectively raped...
as a result of an advertising event
organised by Klerdene toothpaste.
In our evening program we’ll have more
information about the Klerdene incident.
Klerdene, twice.
Guiton? I don't care about Guiton.
I want to talk to Malaquet, the manager.
Sir, the Director...
-That's Malaquet, I know.
I know your Director.
Young, blond, intelligent.
He's on the third floor.
-No, he's on the second floor.
Well, there you go.
Mr Malaquet.
I hope the girl you used for your
dirty games, isn't from our company.
Mr Director...
Mr Klerdene.
Bravo, Mr Director.
All the stations are talking about
my product. For free.
Bravo, Mr Director, bravo.
-This is Mr Guiton.
Yes, yes. Hello.
Orders have already doubled.
-Mr Guiton...
Yes... I've given the address of your
agency to a good friend of mine.
Guiton speaking. For you.
Yes? Yes!
Very good. Yes, yes.
Clistax. Tomorrow at 3 pm.
Certainly. Tomorrow at 3.
Goodbye.
Take note, young man.
Tomorrow at 3, Clistax.
You see, Mr Director.
-Mr Guiton's...
Yes, yes. You'll see I'm not
an ungrateful person.
I'll start a complete campaign.
Mr Malaquet, I can't advise you enough
to walk on eggs this time.
Eggs? I've got an idea!
From now on, I'll only want
to work with you.
Mr Director... you're wearing
my glasses.
Excuse me.
Thank you.
Goodbye, Mr Director.
-Goodbye, Mr Clistex.
Clistax.
-Yes, Mr Director.
Nice talking to you, Mr Director.
I'm the Director, Mr Guiton.
Yes, let's get back to work.
Miss, take down a letter.
In reply to your letter from the 18th
of this month, I'd like to inform...
you that we would like to receive
some samples.
The last shipment of snowboots left
a lot to be desired.
My product's unique.
So it's a monopoly, Mr Clistax?
Yes, but I won't sell it.
-I'll promote it.
We're talking about bags
for little bags.
I thought you meant little bags
for bags.
No, I aim higher than that.
-The bar's raised high.
Yes, but I'm getting there.
This won't change anything to the ad
I've prepared. Listen.
Clistax has been thinking of you,
dear listeners.
Tomorrow, hundreds of Clistax men
will be walking through the city.
Each of them will be carrying
an egg.
Grab yourself an egg and
start looking for them.
When you'll find a Clistax man, break
your egg on his head and yell...
Bravo, Clistax!
You'll receive a Clistax bag.
And each bag will contain
1000 little bags!
Buy Clistax, the only bag for
little bags.
Clistax has been thinking of you...
-Don't forget your egg.
Tomorrow, hundreds of Clistax men will
be walking through the city.
Each of them will be carrying
an egg.
Grab yourself an egg and
start looking for them.
When you'll find a Clistax man, break
your...
Grab yourself an egg and
start looking for them.
When you'll find a Clistax man, break
your egg on his head and yell "Bravo!"
You'll receive a Clistax bag.
And each bag will contain
1000 little bags!
Buy Clistax, the only bag for
little bags.
Bravo, Clistax!
-Bravo, Clistax!
Bravo, Clistax!
Bravo, Clistax!
-Bravo, Clistax!
I'm not mister Clistax!
I'm not Clistax!
Alright, I'm Mr Clistax.
Police! Police!
After the Klerdene case, the Jérico
agency makes the news again.
A publicity event they organised,
has started a big riot.
Yes... yes!
I know, I know.
He's going too far.
He's crazy.
Mr Corbel, I have two reasons to
keep him.
First of all, there's a client who
wants him, only him. Secondly...
Sweetie, sweetie...
Your love has nourished my soul
like a dewdrop...
on a dead leaf, abandoned
in the wind.
Sweetie...
Sweetie...
Secondly, there's a client who
wants him, only him.
You already said that, Mr Director.
All the more reason.
Here you go.
Why are you so absent-minded?
I'm absent-minded?
-Yes.
You're starting a mechanism that'll
get out of hand.
A mechanism?
-You start riots.
How do you think of something like that?
Why are you so absent-minded?
Absent-minded? Me?
But everybody's absent-minded.
Look.
Shouldn't you be working?
For him, playing is natural.
I took his mind from it.
Now he's absent-minded.
I'm not the only one who's
absent-minded.
FOLLOW THE ARROW
Can't you be more careful?
Careful...
-What a noise.
What a day.
What's wrong with these idiots?
Careful!
Thank you, sir.
Lisa, absent-minded people
are daydreamers.
I'm not a daydreamer.
I had a great childhood.
My father ignored me completely.
My mother only had eyes for me.
I've always been an adult.
An adult?
-Yes.
When you think back of adventures
or of playing with friends...
you're not absent-minded.
Yes, you are.
-No.
The clouds are always there.
They just change shape.
But it's the clouds that count.
And the heart.
The heart?
-Heart and clouds are the same thing.
I used to know a girl.
She really made me feel alive.
But she broke up with me.
She wrote me a letter full of clouds.
It rained in that letter.
I was drenched.
Soaking wet, Lisa.
That doesn't make you absent-minded.
-I don't know, Pierre.
What did I say about clouds?
Yes, my father...
If I would have a son...
A son?
Yes, a son. I wouldn't have him
if I was absent-minded.
Anyway, I'll never have a son.
And he knows it.
Who?
-My son.
See? I'm not absent-minded.
I'm not the only absent-minded one.
Some are more absent-minded than me.
Thank you.
I've got my advertising idea!
Strange, I don't feel at ease.
Enough!
You're so nervous.
-Sir!
There's a limit!
No more digestive problems
with Selo Digest.
Selo Digest.
Your pharmacist takes it too.
It's not bad, but a bit laboured.
Do you think so?
-Yes, I believe...
I think this one's better.
Put this in the projector, please.
This mask will make the character
more realistic.
More authentic.
How do I put it... stronger.
I can't handle it.
I can't handle being the victim
of this.
It's terrible.
I'll take the Casimir dog food
to the television.
Mazelin.
-Yes?
Send Malaquet in right away.
Yes, Mr Director.
Pierre, throw the film out.
You've gone too far.
Do you think?
-I beg you.
But this will really work.
-Listen to me.
Do it for me.
You don't realise...
Maybe you're right.
I'll do as you say. I'll be back.
And take the mask off, Pierre.
Idiot!
-Yes, sir.
No mushroom like the Jandou mushroom.
And don't forget...
Keep the labels of your cans
of chopped mushroom.
100 chopped mushroom labels entitle
you to one can of whole mushrooms.
Bravo, that's a good idea.
A generous idea. Buy chopped mushrooms.
I love whole mushrooms.
And now, the Jérico advertising agency
presents the first episode of...
Nightmares of Selo Digest.
I'm afraid, mummy.
-Don't worry.
It's nothing. Don't be afraid.
I'm afraid, mummy.
It's only television.
Let's go!
We don't want to watch this!
How could you let that happen?
-I didn't know anything about it.
It's him.
-Yes, I recognize him.
Shameful advertising! Bastard!
That was disgusting!
-Shameful!
What about the children?
I love her... I love her...
I love her!
Listen...
-Yes, but...
It's unacceptable!
We've been waiting for
half an hour.
Gentlemen...
Mr Guiton!
That an insane man is sabotaging
your agency is your business.
But he makes the whole city
look bad.
We have to stop the wave of animosity
that's directed towards us.
I've been receiving reports about the
alarming state of mind of the people.
Let's talk about that state
of mind.
I've started an advertising campaign
this morning and it was catastrophic!
Can I ask you something
on television, sir?
That's very friendly of you.
Make room, please.
What would you say is the best
table wine?
Try, sir, it's important.
If you answer correctly and have
2000 lids...
of this great wine, you'll win a trip
to Sarcelles.
Please give me your answer.
-Kiss my ass, sir.
This is serious, sir.
No joking, please.
Besides, I know you have
the 2000 lids on you.
I say kiss my ass, sir.
If you insist, you won't get...
2000 lids, but my fist
in your face.
This man's promoting alcoholism.
How can you say that?
Let go off me.
Keep your hands off me!
The public don't want products shoved
into their faces anymore.
Malaquet's responsible. Don't let
his innocent appearance fool you.
Guiton, you have to fire him.
-Sweetie, sweetie...
Sweetie...
No more sweetie.
This is the end of the sweeties.
Malaquet's fired.
Jérico To The Rescue.
-Send Pierre Malaquet in.
He's not in.
We can wait.
Let us in!
It's him!
I love her!
Have you seen Lisa?
France, where's Lisa? I love her!
She's with the boss in the meeting room.
-I love her... I love her!
And that's how you deal with
a problem.
Very good.
Excuse me, is Lisa not here?
I love her.
I love her!
-Pierre?
Pierre?
Pierre!
Lisa? Lisa!
Lisa!
Asshole, did you sleep with Lisa?
I knew you had a mistress!
Lisa? Which Lisa?
-Lisa Gastier.
But she lives on the first floor.
-How do you know that?
Pierre?
Pierre!
Sir.
-I love her.
Hello, Lisa?
Yes?
-Lisa, listen. Where are you?
At your place.
-At my place? I'm coming.
Pierre, where are you going?
Excuse me, madam.
Lisa! Lisa, I love you!
I'm crazy about you, Lisa!
-Pierre!
Lisa, I'm crazy about you.
I love you.
Sweetie, give him another chance.
Those 'sweeties' cost me a fortune.
-Sweetie...
My last chance is to never give
him a chance again.
Sweetie... sweetie...
No and no.
He'll ruin my company.
You have to understand the
situation I'm in.
Sweetie.
Does your son like to travel?
Long travels?
I know you'll do a good job.
Let's hurry, Glycia.
No, no!
Don't forget your suitcase.
Careful, the door!
Have you got your tickets?
-Left back pocket.
At what time do you leave?
-At 9:25, in 40 minutes.
Perfect, perfect.
After I had decided to send
your son off...
I immediately contacted Galloway
at Madison Avenue.
Wait for us, Pierre.
-Will Galloway really look after Pierre?
No, Pierre will look after
Galloway.
I sowed the address of your employer
into the lining of your jacket.
That's enough. Let's go.
Your new Director's expecting
you on Monday.
Have a good trip.
Come on!
-Keep a good eye on him, Lisa.
Make sure he puts his seatbelt on!
To America!
-Fasten your seatbelt, please.
Excuse me.
Where are the toilets?
-In the back, second door to the left.
Fasten your seatbelt, please.
It was pure self-defence, Glycia.
-What?
It was pure self-defence.
We needed the Atlantic Ocean between us.
He thinks and talks at the same time,
but rarely talks about what he thinks.
When he says 'no', it often
has to be 'yes.'
And when he says 'yes',
he means 'no.'
He doesn't pay attention to you
or anybody or anything.