Disney Channel Holiday House Party (2020) - full transcript
Hey there, everyone.
I am so excited to be
hosting tonight's
very special holiday edition
of "House Party."
The holidays are all about spreading
love and joy and positivity,
and we figured what better way
to do so than with some laughs.
I love this time of year
because it's an opportunity
for everyone to take a breath
and say to themselves,
"How can I be a better,
more compassionate person today?"
And I think that that is just so--
Sorry. My neighbor seems to be
mowing his lawn at night,
for some reason.
I guess that's what happens
when you film at home, folks.
As I was saying,
this time of year,
it is so nice to
see people-- Okay.
For crying out--
Hey! Jerry!
I am trying to film
a TV show over here, okay?
And you are making
a lot of noise!
Sorry, I can't hear you!
This thing makes
a lot of noise!
Right, yeah. So you think
maybe you could turn it off?
Happy holidays to you, too, Miranda.
For crying out loud, Jerry.
As I was saying,
compassion, togetherness,
love for your fellow human.
Christmas is the best time of year.
I'll be back later to spread some
holiday cheer, and stay tuned,
because we've got a really
exciting show in store for you.
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
Welcome back to my channel,
coming to you from my home studio.
Sorry I didn't upload last week.
It was my great-grandpa's birthday,
and I watched him
eat soup the whole time. Blech.
However, today on
"Skylar Reviews,"
is the "Total Smash or Pure Trash"
Christmas special.
First up, the Christmas classic,
we've got mistletoe.
Excuse me, but it's 2020.
We have rights.
And plants cannot tell us
who to kiss anymore.
Trash!
I am the Ghost
of Christmas Past.
And you are
a very self-absorbed,
toxic 13-year-old girl.
I've been sent here
to change your ways.
Tonight, you shall be
visited by three spirits.
No, I'm recording tonight. Tell the
spirits to come back later.
I, wh-- What?
We, we can't come back later.
-Uh, we're spirits. We can only visit--
-Okay, bye.
All right.
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...
is a great way to burn
all your chestnuts!
Trash!
Skylar!
I am the Ghost of
Christmas Present!
Ugh! Stop. No!
I must show you
the error of your ways!
Get out of the shot.
Both of you!
Go, like, stand by the wall
or whatever.
Uh, um, okay.
Is this better?
Quiet!
Okay.
The 12 days of Christmas.
First of all, okay, there's
only one day of Christmas,
so already, trash!
-Um, uh, I--
-Shush!
Okay, time to un-box
my presents.
Let's see what
my sister Carol got.
A new phone!
From 2019!
Trash.
-Okay. Here's my dad's present.
-Ooh!
Ooh!
I am the Ghost of
Christmas Future.
Ugh. Stop!
She's mean. Uh, tell her
what happens in the future.
Listen up, missy.
I just got back from
the future, Skylar.
And if you continue down
the path you're on,
you'll end up alone,
with no family or friends.
Am I rich?
Well, yes, but--
you don't have any
family or friends,
or anybody that
cares about you.
-But I'm still rich, right?
-Well...
-Yeah, but--
-Sweet. Fine by me.
Anyways, that's our episode.
I gotta bounce.
Follow my channel. Bye!
Hi. I'm Ruby Rose Turner.
It's Isaac Ryan Brown
from "Raven's Home."
Hi, I'm Scarlett Estevez.
I'd seen all the Disney
stars doing their wand IDs,
but when they asked me,
it was, like, crazy.
But, uh, all around,
it is a total honor
to be asked to do
a Disney Channel wand ID.
I used to do them in my
bedroom with a pencil
all the time as a kid.
I can't believe I actually
got to do one in real life.
I'd been dreaming of this day
for as long as I can remember.
I just--
Things didn't quite pan out
as I imagined.
Excuse me.
While I was shooting, I accidentally
inhaled some of the magic dust,
so I--
This happens now.
You know, no one told us you're
not supposed to inhale this stuff.
Everybody knows you're not supposed
to inhale the magic dust.
There are big signs saying,
"Don't inhale the magic dust,"
on every wall.
And on the bottle.
And each of us are required
to watch a 45-minute
safety DVD titled:
"Do Not Inhale
the Magic Dust."
I don't actually remember
how it happened.
Um, but since it was
in between takes,
I don't know if we'll ever know.
No, no, no. The camera was rolling.
Check it out.
Gotcha.
Let's go
one more time, all right?
And action.
What up, everybody?
I'm Trevor Tordjman,
and you are watching
Disney Channel.
Ha, ha!
- We got it. Thanks.
- Oh!
Man, this thing is so sick!
Hey, man, you want me to,
like, ad lib a little bit
- on the next one?
- No, I think we're good.
Like, I could do, like,
a bow and arrow.
Or, no. A flute.
Oh!
Oh. I think inhaled a little
bit of it. Is that bad?
Is it bad?
The other Disney Channel actors?
Yes, they've been
very understanding.
And just, just all around cool
about the whole situation.
Bro, who breathes the dust, bro?
I don't--
I just--
You should have seen his face.
He was like, "Aah!
Help me! Help me!"
"I need some tissue."
They say it should only last
about another two weeks.
Um...
So, until then, I guess
I just have to deal with--
Just have to deal with this.
Sorry, can you excuse me?
Just gonna run to the bathroom
really quick.
Oh, I'm sorry!
Those sketches
really made me laugh.
I'm laughing right now
just thinking about them.
We've got more
gut-busters coming up,
so stay tuned,
and we'll be right back.
You've seen the high school stories,
but now we're taking
things way back
to bring you our latest D-COM,
"Pre-School Musical."
Even though
they're in pre-school,
there's still plenty of drama.
Mm, yeah!
"Pre-School Musical" has a soundtrack
full of chart-topping hits like:
"Pre-School Musical."
Coming to Disney Channel
Summer 2021.
Welcome back to
"House Party,"
the only show where you,
the audience,
are not permitted to
use the restroom until it ends.
I've had this big book
of Christmas fairy tales
in my family for generations.
And I figured reading one of
my favorite stories out loud
might be a good way
to spread some holiday cheer.
All right. It's called--
Oh. Whoops.
Better put my phone on vibrate.
Sorry. Where was I?
Okay, sorry about that.
I should probably just
turn this bad boy off.
Great. Now we can focus
on the story without any--
Okay. Hello? What?
I'm in the middle of
spreading holiday cheer.
- This better be pretty good.
- Hello.
You have been selected
to take a brief survey--
I don't have time for this!
Let's just go to
the next sketch.
So, now our parents said
they have to move.
Ugh. Tragic.
I would never.
Oh, sweet! Becxxi Bexxers is going live.
Who's Becxxi Bexxers?
Are you being
for serious right now?
Becxxi Bexxers is
the biggest thing.
How have I not heard of her?
No idea. She makes
the best dance videos.
And she's always wearing
this big flower crown.
That's so cool.
It is so cool. Here. I'll screen share.
Hey, there, Becxx-Nation!
We got a totally lit new
dance routine for you today.
This one is straight fire,
and not cringe at all.
Dude, she's like, old.
No, she isn't.
She's wearing a flower crown.
Okay.
I call this one
"The Wiggly Waggler."
You just stick your
left foot out and slide,
then you tuck, then bend.
Then repeat.
Okay, let's slide.
Then tuck.
Then bend.
Then repeat. And then you
do this really cool thing,
where you grab a thank you card
and thank your grandma
for the check she
sent you for your birthday.
Wait! See, that is not cool.
Yes, it is. It's just part of the dance.
Then you slide to the right
and you tidy up your room.
'Cause the last thing your mom
needs after a long day at work
is to clean up after you.
-Okay, let's clean.
-Right there. That's Mom-speak.
I'd recognize it anywhere.
What? She's just talking
about cool kid stuff,
like cleaning your room
and thanking your nana.
That's exactly what moms
want you to think is cool.
I'm telling you, that's a mom.
Look! Her jeans have
an elastic waist!
I... don't believe it.
You're right!
Becxxi Bexxers is a mom!
And not just any mom.
Lana, I'm pretty sure
that's your mom.
Wait a minute.
And repeat.
To the side, then slide...
Then bend, then back.
Then repeat.
Okay, let's slide.
Then bend.
Mom!
Mom!
Mom!
I'm not, I'm not your mom!
I'm Becxxi Bexxers!
Clean up your room!
It's Christmas!
The door security camera
caught something last night!
Ho, ho, ho!
Oh!
Whoa!
Oh!
Oh. Oh!
Jiminy Christmas, that hurt!
Uh, hello?
Anyone home?
It's, it's me. Santa.
I was, uh, hoping that
someone might be home
so I could go
through the house.
Ooh!
Ho, ho, I think I really
sprained my arm.
Oh, I'm not gonna be
able to climb up there now.
I'll just go around back
and look for a ladder, and--
Yeah. I'll get up there somehow.
Oh! I'm sorry.
I just want to see if there's
a ladder or something--
Oh, no, down, girl!
Oh! Ow! Aah! Gah!
Gah! Ooh! Not the suit! Not the suit!
Ah, puppy! Aah!
Ho-ho. Oh, no!
Oh. Oh, hi.
It's, uh, me again.
I, uh, I found the ladder.
Boy, that is one
intense dog you've got.
He's definitely going
on my naughty list.
That's for sure.
Look at this coat!
Anyway, uh,
got my ladder, so...
Gotta go up there
and get back on my sleigh.
Okay.
Ho, ho, ho. Hey!
My reindeer friends.
Hey, it's Santa.
Oh, oh, no!
Aah!
Ooh.
Oh. Oh, I think I--
I think I've sprained
the other arm.
I might have broken it.
Are you sure
there's nobody in there?
And... there go my reindeer.
Oh, that's just perfect.
Oh.
Guess I won't be getting
any presents this year.
We gotta take a quick break,
but make sure to come
right back,
because we've got bananas,
eggs, milk,
tuna salad, baby...
carrots.
Okay, there seems
to have been a mistake,
and I am now reading the
teleprompter guy's grocery list.
Oh, my bad.
Just come on back. We've got more
good stuff in store for you.
Don't forget to take the chicken
out of the freezer
at 4 p.m. to thaw, okay?
I got it, I got it.
Oh, no! I forgot
to thaw the chicken!
Don't let this happen to you!
Forgetting to take the chicken
out to thaw is a thing of the past
with "Oops, I Forgot" app
from LazyLad Industries.
Let's try that again.
But this time,
Annabelle is armed
with the
"Oops, I Forgot" app.
Just hit the
"Oops, I Forgot" button,
and our patented
parent-diversion technology
gets to work right away.
-Mrs. Harris.
-Um, yes. Can I help you?
My name is Commander McLaughlin.
I'm with the United States
Extra-Terrestrial Defense Force.
I need you to accompany me
to Fort Belvoir right away.
Wait, what's this all about?
Ma'am, an alien invasion is imminent.
And legends have foretold that you,
Andrea Harris,
are The Alien Slayer,
the only person
capable of stopping them.
Me?
The fate of the planet
rests in your hands.
There's no time for delay.
Come with me!
With Mom busy thinking
she's saving the world,
you'll have plenty of time
to let that chicken thaw.
While we're turning Mom into a lean, mean,
alien-fighting machine,
your chicken is thawing,
assuring you and your family
a delicious dinner tonight.
Once it's thawed,
just let us know,
and we'll send Mom home.
Okay, troops!
We're nearing the drop zone!
Let's show these moon men
we mean business!
- Hello?
- Andrea!
A bit of a mix-up on our end.
Turns out the legend
was actually talking about, uh...
a different Andrea Harris.
Our bad.
You're free to head home.
Thawed the chicken,
just like you asked.
Thanks, honey.
Thanks, "Oops, I Forgot."
Welcome back to the show.
Have we had some fun tonight, or what?
Now, I know that things haven't
exactly gone according to plan
on the "me spreading
holiday cheer" front,
so I said to myself,
when I think of the holidays,
what brings the biggest
smile to my face?
Lighting the Christmas tree, of course!
Shall we?
This is gonna look
so beautiful.
Okay, turn it on!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, uh--
I, I got it. I got it!
Oh, I do not got it!
Let's just get
back to the fun...
♪ I love to sing
and dance all day ♪
♪ Even when it's cold and gray ♪
♪ Being with your friends
is mighty fine ♪
♪ Welcome to "Mr. Merry
and Friends Happy Time" ♪
Hey there, kids. It's your
old friend Mr. Merry, here.
And thanks for coming back
to "Happy Time."
All my friends are here today.
Jumpy the Bunny,
Nuzzles the Chicken,
Reno the Dog,
and of course,
Solomon the Cat.
Yeah. Hey.
How's it goin'?
If I seem even happier
than usual,
it's because tomorrow is
my favorite day of the year!
Christmas!
Yippee-a-roo!
I love Christmas.
But I've got a little problem.
I don't know what present
to get for my best friend,
Eloise the Eagle.
She's been leaving me hints
all week, but I can't
figure it out.
So I need you kids
at home to help me.
So far, the hints I have are:
ice, skates,
and an ice rink with a person
ice skating on it.
This one's pretty hard.
Can you at home
help me figure it out?
Dude! Are you for real?
This is a new low.
Even for you, Mr. Merry.
I might need to ask
my friends for help.
It's ice skates.
Ice skates.
It couldn't be any more obvious.
It's no use, Reno.
He doesn't understand animals.
Ice. Hmm.
You think she wants ice cream?
How does this guy
live on his own?
I mean, I'm seriously concerned
that he has a driver's license.
Guys! He's trying his best.
Whether we like it or not,
Mr. Merry's the one
who feeds us.
And until that changes,
we're dependent on this very,
very, very unintelligent man.
Okay, don't be mean.
Skates!
Hmm.
Maybe she wants a skate
made out of ice!
That's it.
I'm gonna bite him.
I swear, if he gets near me,
I am going to bite his butt.
That's probably not it, either.
But we're out of time,
so I guess we'll never know.
Hope you learned
a lot today!
No one learned anything.
-No one ever learns anything!
-I'm Mr. Merry.
And we'll see you real soon.
And have a Merry Christmas!
Ugh. I'm gonna go
keep trying to dig
under the fence out back.
Oats. Soy. Hemp. Almonds.
Ever wonder why Mom only
buys milk made out of boring stuff?
I was just wondering that!
Well, now you can
make milk out of anything!
Just in time for Christmas,
it's the Milk-O-Rator!
Whoa!
What's your favorite food, Davey?
Chocolate cake!
Just put it in the Milk-O-Rator!
Aah.
Whoa! Chocolate cake milk!
And what else do you like to eat?
Pepperoni pizza!
Just put it in the Milk-O-Rator!
Yay, pizza milk!
Ugh. It's really chunky.
It just tastes like
grease water!
Now, can you guess what kind of milk
kids all over the country
are going bananas for?
Banana milk?
I understand why your mind went there,
but heck, no. Hot dog milk!
Just put it in
the Milk-O-Rator!
- I'm not sure I wanna drink hot--
- I said,
"Put it in the Milk-O-Rator."
[Announcer, cheerily
Go on! Take a sip!
Go on!
Ugh.
It just tastes like meat water.
But wait! The Milk-O-Rator
can do so much more!
Sick of taking out the trash?
I really hope you're
not gonna tell me to--
Just put it
in the Milk-O-Rator.
Nobody wants trash milk! Dad!
Your dad isn't here, Davey.
- What'd you do with him?
- He's fine.
Just put the trash
in the Milk-O-Rator,
and everything will be okay.
Yum! Now hold it up
to the camera,
and tell all the kids
at home to get themselves
a Milk-O-Rator today
for just $499.99.
- No kid is gonna wanna pay--
- Say it!
- I'm not gonna say it!
- Uh, uh...
Get your Milk-O-Rator today,
for just $499.99.
Or else.
Well, that's our show. What an amazing
evening this has been.
We hope that you
were able to relax,
and experience some
Christmas cheer with us,
as we--
Oh, forget it.
On behalf of all of us
at Disney Channel--
Excuse me. Is anyone at home?
Anyone at all?
I'm out here. It's cold.
I think I might have
broken my arm.
I have no way of getting
back to the North Pole--
Okay, can someone please
mute whoever that is?
I've got no means
of transportation--
-Muted.
-Thank you.
Like I was saying,
on behalf of all of us
at Disney Channel...
-Merry Christmas.
-And happy holidays.
Happy holidays,
and goodnight, guys.
-Merry Christmas.
-And happy holidays.
-Goodnight.
-Happy holidays!
-Merry Christmas.
-And happy holidays.
-Have a good night.
-Goodnight!
I don't think I have
insurance for my sleigh.
My back has never been
very healthy,
and today it's really--
♪ Caleb took away the toy
I was playing with ♪
♪ Let me tell you how
I'm gonna handle it ♪
♪ No, I'm not gonna
scream and shout ♪
♪ I'm not gonna plead and beg ♪
♪ I don't care if
I get a time out ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm gonna
bite him on the leg ♪
♪ I'm gonna bite him
on the leg ♪
♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
♪ Bite him on the leg ♪
♪ I'm gonna bite him
on the leg ♪
♪ Bite him on the leg ♪
I am so excited to be
hosting tonight's
very special holiday edition
of "House Party."
The holidays are all about spreading
love and joy and positivity,
and we figured what better way
to do so than with some laughs.
I love this time of year
because it's an opportunity
for everyone to take a breath
and say to themselves,
"How can I be a better,
more compassionate person today?"
And I think that that is just so--
Sorry. My neighbor seems to be
mowing his lawn at night,
for some reason.
I guess that's what happens
when you film at home, folks.
As I was saying,
this time of year,
it is so nice to
see people-- Okay.
For crying out--
Hey! Jerry!
I am trying to film
a TV show over here, okay?
And you are making
a lot of noise!
Sorry, I can't hear you!
This thing makes
a lot of noise!
Right, yeah. So you think
maybe you could turn it off?
Happy holidays to you, too, Miranda.
For crying out loud, Jerry.
As I was saying,
compassion, togetherness,
love for your fellow human.
Christmas is the best time of year.
I'll be back later to spread some
holiday cheer, and stay tuned,
because we've got a really
exciting show in store for you.
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
Welcome back to my channel,
coming to you from my home studio.
Sorry I didn't upload last week.
It was my great-grandpa's birthday,
and I watched him
eat soup the whole time. Blech.
However, today on
"Skylar Reviews,"
is the "Total Smash or Pure Trash"
Christmas special.
First up, the Christmas classic,
we've got mistletoe.
Excuse me, but it's 2020.
We have rights.
And plants cannot tell us
who to kiss anymore.
Trash!
I am the Ghost
of Christmas Past.
And you are
a very self-absorbed,
toxic 13-year-old girl.
I've been sent here
to change your ways.
Tonight, you shall be
visited by three spirits.
No, I'm recording tonight. Tell the
spirits to come back later.
I, wh-- What?
We, we can't come back later.
-Uh, we're spirits. We can only visit--
-Okay, bye.
All right.
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...
is a great way to burn
all your chestnuts!
Trash!
Skylar!
I am the Ghost of
Christmas Present!
Ugh! Stop. No!
I must show you
the error of your ways!
Get out of the shot.
Both of you!
Go, like, stand by the wall
or whatever.
Uh, um, okay.
Is this better?
Quiet!
Okay.
The 12 days of Christmas.
First of all, okay, there's
only one day of Christmas,
so already, trash!
-Um, uh, I--
-Shush!
Okay, time to un-box
my presents.
Let's see what
my sister Carol got.
A new phone!
From 2019!
Trash.
-Okay. Here's my dad's present.
-Ooh!
Ooh!
I am the Ghost of
Christmas Future.
Ugh. Stop!
She's mean. Uh, tell her
what happens in the future.
Listen up, missy.
I just got back from
the future, Skylar.
And if you continue down
the path you're on,
you'll end up alone,
with no family or friends.
Am I rich?
Well, yes, but--
you don't have any
family or friends,
or anybody that
cares about you.
-But I'm still rich, right?
-Well...
-Yeah, but--
-Sweet. Fine by me.
Anyways, that's our episode.
I gotta bounce.
Follow my channel. Bye!
Hi. I'm Ruby Rose Turner.
It's Isaac Ryan Brown
from "Raven's Home."
Hi, I'm Scarlett Estevez.
I'd seen all the Disney
stars doing their wand IDs,
but when they asked me,
it was, like, crazy.
But, uh, all around,
it is a total honor
to be asked to do
a Disney Channel wand ID.
I used to do them in my
bedroom with a pencil
all the time as a kid.
I can't believe I actually
got to do one in real life.
I'd been dreaming of this day
for as long as I can remember.
I just--
Things didn't quite pan out
as I imagined.
Excuse me.
While I was shooting, I accidentally
inhaled some of the magic dust,
so I--
This happens now.
You know, no one told us you're
not supposed to inhale this stuff.
Everybody knows you're not supposed
to inhale the magic dust.
There are big signs saying,
"Don't inhale the magic dust,"
on every wall.
And on the bottle.
And each of us are required
to watch a 45-minute
safety DVD titled:
"Do Not Inhale
the Magic Dust."
I don't actually remember
how it happened.
Um, but since it was
in between takes,
I don't know if we'll ever know.
No, no, no. The camera was rolling.
Check it out.
Gotcha.
Let's go
one more time, all right?
And action.
What up, everybody?
I'm Trevor Tordjman,
and you are watching
Disney Channel.
Ha, ha!
- We got it. Thanks.
- Oh!
Man, this thing is so sick!
Hey, man, you want me to,
like, ad lib a little bit
- on the next one?
- No, I think we're good.
Like, I could do, like,
a bow and arrow.
Or, no. A flute.
Oh!
Oh. I think inhaled a little
bit of it. Is that bad?
Is it bad?
The other Disney Channel actors?
Yes, they've been
very understanding.
And just, just all around cool
about the whole situation.
Bro, who breathes the dust, bro?
I don't--
I just--
You should have seen his face.
He was like, "Aah!
Help me! Help me!"
"I need some tissue."
They say it should only last
about another two weeks.
Um...
So, until then, I guess
I just have to deal with--
Just have to deal with this.
Sorry, can you excuse me?
Just gonna run to the bathroom
really quick.
Oh, I'm sorry!
Those sketches
really made me laugh.
I'm laughing right now
just thinking about them.
We've got more
gut-busters coming up,
so stay tuned,
and we'll be right back.
You've seen the high school stories,
but now we're taking
things way back
to bring you our latest D-COM,
"Pre-School Musical."
Even though
they're in pre-school,
there's still plenty of drama.
Mm, yeah!
"Pre-School Musical" has a soundtrack
full of chart-topping hits like:
"Pre-School Musical."
Coming to Disney Channel
Summer 2021.
Welcome back to
"House Party,"
the only show where you,
the audience,
are not permitted to
use the restroom until it ends.
I've had this big book
of Christmas fairy tales
in my family for generations.
And I figured reading one of
my favorite stories out loud
might be a good way
to spread some holiday cheer.
All right. It's called--
Oh. Whoops.
Better put my phone on vibrate.
Sorry. Where was I?
Okay, sorry about that.
I should probably just
turn this bad boy off.
Great. Now we can focus
on the story without any--
Okay. Hello? What?
I'm in the middle of
spreading holiday cheer.
- This better be pretty good.
- Hello.
You have been selected
to take a brief survey--
I don't have time for this!
Let's just go to
the next sketch.
So, now our parents said
they have to move.
Ugh. Tragic.
I would never.
Oh, sweet! Becxxi Bexxers is going live.
Who's Becxxi Bexxers?
Are you being
for serious right now?
Becxxi Bexxers is
the biggest thing.
How have I not heard of her?
No idea. She makes
the best dance videos.
And she's always wearing
this big flower crown.
That's so cool.
It is so cool. Here. I'll screen share.
Hey, there, Becxx-Nation!
We got a totally lit new
dance routine for you today.
This one is straight fire,
and not cringe at all.
Dude, she's like, old.
No, she isn't.
She's wearing a flower crown.
Okay.
I call this one
"The Wiggly Waggler."
You just stick your
left foot out and slide,
then you tuck, then bend.
Then repeat.
Okay, let's slide.
Then tuck.
Then bend.
Then repeat. And then you
do this really cool thing,
where you grab a thank you card
and thank your grandma
for the check she
sent you for your birthday.
Wait! See, that is not cool.
Yes, it is. It's just part of the dance.
Then you slide to the right
and you tidy up your room.
'Cause the last thing your mom
needs after a long day at work
is to clean up after you.
-Okay, let's clean.
-Right there. That's Mom-speak.
I'd recognize it anywhere.
What? She's just talking
about cool kid stuff,
like cleaning your room
and thanking your nana.
That's exactly what moms
want you to think is cool.
I'm telling you, that's a mom.
Look! Her jeans have
an elastic waist!
I... don't believe it.
You're right!
Becxxi Bexxers is a mom!
And not just any mom.
Lana, I'm pretty sure
that's your mom.
Wait a minute.
And repeat.
To the side, then slide...
Then bend, then back.
Then repeat.
Okay, let's slide.
Then bend.
Mom!
Mom!
Mom!
I'm not, I'm not your mom!
I'm Becxxi Bexxers!
Clean up your room!
It's Christmas!
The door security camera
caught something last night!
Ho, ho, ho!
Oh!
Whoa!
Oh!
Oh. Oh!
Jiminy Christmas, that hurt!
Uh, hello?
Anyone home?
It's, it's me. Santa.
I was, uh, hoping that
someone might be home
so I could go
through the house.
Ooh!
Ho, ho, I think I really
sprained my arm.
Oh, I'm not gonna be
able to climb up there now.
I'll just go around back
and look for a ladder, and--
Yeah. I'll get up there somehow.
Oh! I'm sorry.
I just want to see if there's
a ladder or something--
Oh, no, down, girl!
Oh! Ow! Aah! Gah!
Gah! Ooh! Not the suit! Not the suit!
Ah, puppy! Aah!
Ho-ho. Oh, no!
Oh. Oh, hi.
It's, uh, me again.
I, uh, I found the ladder.
Boy, that is one
intense dog you've got.
He's definitely going
on my naughty list.
That's for sure.
Look at this coat!
Anyway, uh,
got my ladder, so...
Gotta go up there
and get back on my sleigh.
Okay.
Ho, ho, ho. Hey!
My reindeer friends.
Hey, it's Santa.
Oh, oh, no!
Aah!
Ooh.
Oh. Oh, I think I--
I think I've sprained
the other arm.
I might have broken it.
Are you sure
there's nobody in there?
And... there go my reindeer.
Oh, that's just perfect.
Oh.
Guess I won't be getting
any presents this year.
We gotta take a quick break,
but make sure to come
right back,
because we've got bananas,
eggs, milk,
tuna salad, baby...
carrots.
Okay, there seems
to have been a mistake,
and I am now reading the
teleprompter guy's grocery list.
Oh, my bad.
Just come on back. We've got more
good stuff in store for you.
Don't forget to take the chicken
out of the freezer
at 4 p.m. to thaw, okay?
I got it, I got it.
Oh, no! I forgot
to thaw the chicken!
Don't let this happen to you!
Forgetting to take the chicken
out to thaw is a thing of the past
with "Oops, I Forgot" app
from LazyLad Industries.
Let's try that again.
But this time,
Annabelle is armed
with the
"Oops, I Forgot" app.
Just hit the
"Oops, I Forgot" button,
and our patented
parent-diversion technology
gets to work right away.
-Mrs. Harris.
-Um, yes. Can I help you?
My name is Commander McLaughlin.
I'm with the United States
Extra-Terrestrial Defense Force.
I need you to accompany me
to Fort Belvoir right away.
Wait, what's this all about?
Ma'am, an alien invasion is imminent.
And legends have foretold that you,
Andrea Harris,
are The Alien Slayer,
the only person
capable of stopping them.
Me?
The fate of the planet
rests in your hands.
There's no time for delay.
Come with me!
With Mom busy thinking
she's saving the world,
you'll have plenty of time
to let that chicken thaw.
While we're turning Mom into a lean, mean,
alien-fighting machine,
your chicken is thawing,
assuring you and your family
a delicious dinner tonight.
Once it's thawed,
just let us know,
and we'll send Mom home.
Okay, troops!
We're nearing the drop zone!
Let's show these moon men
we mean business!
- Hello?
- Andrea!
A bit of a mix-up on our end.
Turns out the legend
was actually talking about, uh...
a different Andrea Harris.
Our bad.
You're free to head home.
Thawed the chicken,
just like you asked.
Thanks, honey.
Thanks, "Oops, I Forgot."
Welcome back to the show.
Have we had some fun tonight, or what?
Now, I know that things haven't
exactly gone according to plan
on the "me spreading
holiday cheer" front,
so I said to myself,
when I think of the holidays,
what brings the biggest
smile to my face?
Lighting the Christmas tree, of course!
Shall we?
This is gonna look
so beautiful.
Okay, turn it on!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, uh--
I, I got it. I got it!
Oh, I do not got it!
Let's just get
back to the fun...
♪ I love to sing
and dance all day ♪
♪ Even when it's cold and gray ♪
♪ Being with your friends
is mighty fine ♪
♪ Welcome to "Mr. Merry
and Friends Happy Time" ♪
Hey there, kids. It's your
old friend Mr. Merry, here.
And thanks for coming back
to "Happy Time."
All my friends are here today.
Jumpy the Bunny,
Nuzzles the Chicken,
Reno the Dog,
and of course,
Solomon the Cat.
Yeah. Hey.
How's it goin'?
If I seem even happier
than usual,
it's because tomorrow is
my favorite day of the year!
Christmas!
Yippee-a-roo!
I love Christmas.
But I've got a little problem.
I don't know what present
to get for my best friend,
Eloise the Eagle.
She's been leaving me hints
all week, but I can't
figure it out.
So I need you kids
at home to help me.
So far, the hints I have are:
ice, skates,
and an ice rink with a person
ice skating on it.
This one's pretty hard.
Can you at home
help me figure it out?
Dude! Are you for real?
This is a new low.
Even for you, Mr. Merry.
I might need to ask
my friends for help.
It's ice skates.
Ice skates.
It couldn't be any more obvious.
It's no use, Reno.
He doesn't understand animals.
Ice. Hmm.
You think she wants ice cream?
How does this guy
live on his own?
I mean, I'm seriously concerned
that he has a driver's license.
Guys! He's trying his best.
Whether we like it or not,
Mr. Merry's the one
who feeds us.
And until that changes,
we're dependent on this very,
very, very unintelligent man.
Okay, don't be mean.
Skates!
Hmm.
Maybe she wants a skate
made out of ice!
That's it.
I'm gonna bite him.
I swear, if he gets near me,
I am going to bite his butt.
That's probably not it, either.
But we're out of time,
so I guess we'll never know.
Hope you learned
a lot today!
No one learned anything.
-No one ever learns anything!
-I'm Mr. Merry.
And we'll see you real soon.
And have a Merry Christmas!
Ugh. I'm gonna go
keep trying to dig
under the fence out back.
Oats. Soy. Hemp. Almonds.
Ever wonder why Mom only
buys milk made out of boring stuff?
I was just wondering that!
Well, now you can
make milk out of anything!
Just in time for Christmas,
it's the Milk-O-Rator!
Whoa!
What's your favorite food, Davey?
Chocolate cake!
Just put it in the Milk-O-Rator!
Aah.
Whoa! Chocolate cake milk!
And what else do you like to eat?
Pepperoni pizza!
Just put it in the Milk-O-Rator!
Yay, pizza milk!
Ugh. It's really chunky.
It just tastes like
grease water!
Now, can you guess what kind of milk
kids all over the country
are going bananas for?
Banana milk?
I understand why your mind went there,
but heck, no. Hot dog milk!
Just put it in
the Milk-O-Rator!
- I'm not sure I wanna drink hot--
- I said,
"Put it in the Milk-O-Rator."
[Announcer, cheerily
Go on! Take a sip!
Go on!
Ugh.
It just tastes like meat water.
But wait! The Milk-O-Rator
can do so much more!
Sick of taking out the trash?
I really hope you're
not gonna tell me to--
Just put it
in the Milk-O-Rator.
Nobody wants trash milk! Dad!
Your dad isn't here, Davey.
- What'd you do with him?
- He's fine.
Just put the trash
in the Milk-O-Rator,
and everything will be okay.
Yum! Now hold it up
to the camera,
and tell all the kids
at home to get themselves
a Milk-O-Rator today
for just $499.99.
- No kid is gonna wanna pay--
- Say it!
- I'm not gonna say it!
- Uh, uh...
Get your Milk-O-Rator today,
for just $499.99.
Or else.
Well, that's our show. What an amazing
evening this has been.
We hope that you
were able to relax,
and experience some
Christmas cheer with us,
as we--
Oh, forget it.
On behalf of all of us
at Disney Channel--
Excuse me. Is anyone at home?
Anyone at all?
I'm out here. It's cold.
I think I might have
broken my arm.
I have no way of getting
back to the North Pole--
Okay, can someone please
mute whoever that is?
I've got no means
of transportation--
-Muted.
-Thank you.
Like I was saying,
on behalf of all of us
at Disney Channel...
-Merry Christmas.
-And happy holidays.
Happy holidays,
and goodnight, guys.
-Merry Christmas.
-And happy holidays.
-Goodnight.
-Happy holidays!
-Merry Christmas.
-And happy holidays.
-Have a good night.
-Goodnight!
I don't think I have
insurance for my sleigh.
My back has never been
very healthy,
and today it's really--
♪ Caleb took away the toy
I was playing with ♪
♪ Let me tell you how
I'm gonna handle it ♪
♪ No, I'm not gonna
scream and shout ♪
♪ I'm not gonna plead and beg ♪
♪ I don't care if
I get a time out ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm gonna
bite him on the leg ♪
♪ I'm gonna bite him
on the leg ♪
♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
♪ Bite him on the leg ♪
♪ I'm gonna bite him
on the leg ♪
♪ Bite him on the leg ♪