Dislocation (1986) - full transcript
Engineer Zhao Shuxin has been promoted and clones a robot in his image to attend his meetings, resulting in comic situations.
Aaah !
Hello.
Hello.
We send you the greetings from Mr Hans.
Thank you. Please sit down.
Thank you.
I read from the foreign press that you are
one of the top cyborg researchers.
You drew the attention from countries like
the USA, the USSR and Japan.
Of course, we Germans are even more interested.
Having had a successful cooperation with you last time,
we would like to invite you to apply for your patents with us.
Thank you very much.
But it's impossible.
What a shame.
Sir,
it's time for another meeting.
Sir,
here is the meeting agenda from Monday to Wednesday.
Do you want me to read for you?
Put it here please.
I will read it.
OK.
I have to attend all these meetings?
I'm afraid so.
Sir,
YANG Lijuan asked to see you. When will you be available?
- This is showroom No.3.
- OK.
Recently,
we developed a new technology.
To be honest,
the product is so lifelike that
even God wouldn't be able to tell the true from the false.
Great.
I'm counting on you, Sir.
Let's go have a look.
Please.
Sir,
Here are the documents that just arrived.
Wait here.
Fueling the tank?
Right.
Director ZHAO,
we have something urgent.
We want to borrow your car for 2 hours.
Thank you.
Let's go on foot then.
It's not so far away.
Sir, where are you going?
I am going to the clothing shop.
I will go with you.
Sir, this suit looks nice.
It must please Miss YANG.
Argh, I'm buying it for her sake.
Oh, I like this one.
It will be good to wear to the meetings.
What, to the meetings?
Emm...no, it will be good to wear at work.
Seller comrade !
May I help you?
I want two of this suit.
Why don't you try it first?
The fitting room...?
is over there.
Thank you.
Don't move.
Do you hear me? Please respond.
Yes, I hear you.
Today is your birthday. Please remember.
Yes!
OK.
Now tell me, how do you feel?
Hmm, very good.
I'm still having trouble with this movement that you do often.
It seems there is still some problem in the programme.
When will it be fixed?
Ooh!
Be patient.
Don't do this movement yet.
I managed to imitate all your other movements
and the facial expressions.
Do you want me to show you?
Go ahead.
Are you all right?
I don't know how to produce this effect...
It's the first time for me, too.
There won't be a second time?
Come, sit down.
Let's talk about your job.
You should know that life of a human being is not infinite.
I want to do what I'm interested in the limited time.
Well, you are not obliged to do what you don't want to do.
You don't understand.
Of course, I'm not obliged to do what I don't want to do.
But then,
I would loose the chance to do what I really want to do.
What do you dislike?
Attending meetings...
people get together just to chit-chat and waste time...
No,
can't put it in such an absolute way.
Certain meetings are still necessary.
I organize them every 10 to 15 days.
I prefer this kind of meetings.
So you like useful meetings and don't like boring meetings.
You want me to go to boring meetings for you.
Exactly.
Damn, what a tiresome job.
You can't say that.
From now on, you should develop your interest in this regard.
I imported all the crucial documents and editorials
to your system.
It won't go wrong.
Once you get out of this house,
you will see a vast and diverse world.
The interpersonal relations are very complex.
You should get used to it with the lateral thinking.
However,
attending a meeting is quite simple.
But I will still go to some meetings myself.
Now let's talk about the rules to follow...
Director,
Speaking.
You are convened to a meeting by the Ministry
to study the implementation of the patriotic health campaign in our city.
The driver will come to pick you up in an hour.
OK, I see.
Just then...
what was I talking about?
You were going to tell me the rules to follow.
Ah yes, that's it.
You have a good memory!
Now, let's talk about...
Hurry!
Go hide yourself in the room.
May I come in?
Of course. Come on in.
Help yourself.
Thank you.
You don't have meetings?
There will be another one in half an hour.
Sir...
Just call me ZHAO.
Help yourself.
Why do you giggle?
You are a really interesting person.
Oh really?
Yes. Everyone said so.
You have a nice home.
Do you think it would be appropriate to...
have me transfered to work at the Bureau?
- Your current position is quite good.
- What I wanted to say is that...
you need someone to take care of you.
I'm sure it will work if you tell them we are friends.
No, that's impossible.
Otherwise, you could send a note to the assistant.
She can take care of it, right?
Well...
All right, I have to go.
(Approval for execution)
(Read and approved)
(Approved)
Sir, tomorrow morning, there is a conference
on the propaganda of the insurance company.
They called again to confirm. Don't forget it.
The driver will come to pick you up at 7 a.m.
In the afternoon, another meeting...
Can Mr MA go on my behalf?
That's not very appropriate.
(You loved me but...)
(What should we do later?)
(All talk and no deed, that's not me.)
Why are you watching this?
You should watch the videos on the meetings.
You came back early! This is quite interesting.
(Do you want to go back to the Russian Empire?)
(And you?)
Have you finished the tasks I gave you?
- I finished it all.
- Very well.
I want to go out to get familiar with the environment
so I won't make mistakes.
You are charged?
The battery is fully charged.
OK. Come back immediately when I call you.
Sir, it's time to go to the conference.
Let's go.
Is there someone in there?
No.
Why did the door close by itself?
I installed an automatic.
Let me show you.
What do you think?
It's so cool. May I have one?
No problem.
Sir, everything's going well between you and Miss Yang...?
How do you know that?
It's kind of obvious.
Ouch! Your arm is incredibly hard!
(People's Insurance Company of China)
First, let's invite ZHAO Shuxin, Director of the Bureau
to take a seat at the official tribune.
(People's Insurance Company of China)
(People's Insurance Company of China)
Mr ZHAO took time out of his busy agenda,
to participate in our conference.
It is a great honour for us.
Please applaud again to express our warm welcome!
Sir...your back is on fire!
It's impossible.
Emm...excuse me.
Comrades, this comrade said my back caught fire.
It doesn't matter, right.
Why? Because I'm assured.
If my suit was burned,
your officer will compensate me.
Isn't it right?
Developing the insurance sector is important
for the construction of socialism.
Today, I will talk about 3 topics:
what is insurance,
what are the benefits,
and the classification of insurance.
First, what is insurance?
In short,
it is part of the public services that benefit the country and the people.
These services are provided by the insurance company.
This is what insurance is about.
How about the payment rate?
Very low.
If your family property is around 1 000 yuan,
you pay 2 yuan.
Only 2 yuan per year.
Now, I will talk about the benefits of insurance.
Generally speaking...
I propose a toast to the excellent speech of Director ZHAO this morning!
Cheers!
Are you all right Sir?
You usually drink a lot.
Come on, bottoms up!
I...emm,
well, OK.
Something urgent comes up. Please excuse me.
But I need to go.
That was close!
If I fainted and was sent to the hospital,
it would be the end of the world.
You did a great job at the conference.
Everything went perfectly this morning.
Yet, it didn't finish well with the drinking.
Why didn't you design me to be able to drink?
Look.
What a stylish movement!
Right, I neglected it.
I will add a reservoir to your body.
By the way...
Quickly! Hide yourself.
Don't move.
Director,
are you feeling sick?
No, not really.
Earlier on...
I had a new idea for the design.
Even so, you shouldn't have left the gentlemen like that.
Right.
This idea can be revolutionary to the research on cyborgs.
Come see my data.
There is another meeting this afternoon.
Officer AN is waiting for you in the car.
Ah, OK.
Let's go then.
Director ZHAO, what are you working on recently?
ZHAO,
you are acting very differently from this morning.
I just listened to the recording of the conference.
You were really eloquent and convincing.
Hey mate, tell me,
Have you invented something to strengthen the memory?
If it's the case. I want it, too.
I've had enough with all these meetings.
Oh really? You are against the meetings, too?
Emm...not "against" but
there are really too many of them.
It was you who asked me to come this meeting.
Do we have a choice?
There have been meetings on the central, miniterial and regional levels.
We are obliged to do the same.
It is a matter of attitude.
In this case, a short meeting would be enough.
Why does it have to last 3 days?
Because otherwise, we can't find a place.
No venue rental for one day: the minimum is for 3 days.
Besides, where do the participants go dining?
According to the rules, meals are not reimbursed for one-day meetings.
No meals, where can we drink then?
Oh...
There you are.
Everything went well for the meeting?
As usual: a big success!
Eh, you began to smoke...
I don't smoke.
Because it is stylish.
I smoked 2 packets today.
Look...
They gave me a carton.
Put out your cigarette!
Recently, I noticed that we seem to be
increasingly different from each other.
It often worries me.
Oh really. We should hold a meeting to discuss it.
Hold a meeting ?!!!
In my opinion, you've become addicted to meetings.
I attended a lot of meetings for you.
It opened my eyes.
I found that you humans are... you are weird.
You are very contradictory beings.
You set up a lot of rules.
But in reality,
thoses rules are meant for others and not for yourself.
For example,
at the meetings, I gave speeches as being you.
The audience didn't really want to listen.
But they still have to applaud.
It is difficult to understand.
It seems that your system of lateral thinking
outperformed my design.
No.
Even though you integrated the human thinking pattern inside my system,
all I do is to repeat.
I want to be like you: to have real personality and ideas!
I beg you to do that.
When it is done, we cyborgs
will unite and support you as our leader.
You think too much.
It is very dangerous.
I didn't create you to give your opinions.
I created you to follow my orders.
Otherwise,
I'd better destroy you.
May I speak to Director ZHAO ?
- Director ZHAO !
- Speaking.
A problem occurred this afternoon in the 3rd laboratory.
Director ZHANG and LI are already here.
Could you please come here?
OK. See you later.
Many things of the humans are difficult for you to understand.
(Comrade Miss YANG, I need to go out for something urgent.
Sorry. See you tomorrow at 7:30 p.m.)
Stay at home.
We continue the conversation when I'm back.
(Cockroach killer spray)
Addicts to meetings...
Today, they are...
they are drinking buddies.
My door will always be open to you.
I go to the washroom.
Stop!
Where did you go?
I went to a diner.
Who invited you?
People from the last meeting.
I bring it all to you!
throw it away!
Where is the note on the door?
I don't know.
Maybe someone took it?
That's impossible.
Hey,
what is love?
I don't have any experience in this respect.
I don't know what to tell you.
Last time, you raised questions on female cyborgs;
Today, it's about love.
What do you want to do?
No...listen,
I saw that you have a girlfriend.
What do I do if I bump into her?
It is for your own good.
What do you think about my girlfriend?
She drinks like a fish.
What?!
No, no, I was saying that she is beautiful.
It seems you have too much info in your system.
I need to erase some of them.
Heck no. I am a cyborg, not a machine.
Besides, I eased your burden of meetings
so you can do your researches.
I am independent because I am your double.
When you are absent, I have your identity.
You scold me all the time.
And what about me? To whom can I do that?
If I do the same,
then it would be inconsistent with your personality.
You are right to a certain degree.
But I don't allow you to fall in love!
Otherwise, you would get into trouble
and cost me my reputation.
Please take notes: regular meeting at 10 a.m.
Sorry, please call me back in 5 minutes.
Finance meeting at 11 a.m.
Supply and marketing meeting at 3 p.m.
4 p.m., discussion on the minutes of the meeting of propaganda work.
Before the end of the day, a final meeting with the department heads.
Sir, here are the newly arrived documents.
(Document from the Central Committee of the CPC: 10 instructions
to simplify documents, reduce meetings and overcome bureaucracy.)
Hello...speaking.
I'm listening.
How dare you - that's impossible!
Sir, what do you want?
Please arrange a car.
I need to go home.
Sure.
I will settle things with you when I come back.
Where did you go again?
You run about all the time. What if people find out the truth?!
No way.
I know your working hours.
I heard that you are very good at playing chess.
Shall we play together?
I stopped playing it for a long time.
A minor incident caused by chess playing,
and now you are scared.
Shut up!
(History of Emotions, Disillusion of Love, On Love)
Why did you borrow these books?
(History of Emotions, Disillusion of Love, On Love)
I borrowed them for you.
Why did you borrow these books?
(History of Emotions, Disillusion of Love, On Love)
(History of Emotions, Disillusion of Love, On Love)
I borrowed them for you.
I borrowed them for you.
You are messing around!
Sir, have you finished reading the document?
Which document?
On reducing meetings.
Other directors are waiting to read it.
Yes I finished reading.
But I left it home.
I will bring it to you tomorrow.
Well, OK.
Don't forget:
Good fortune follows upon disaster.
Disaster lurks within good fortune.
Honesty is ever deceived. Kindness is ever seduced.
In reality, men are blinded since a long time ago.
Sir, we arrived.
You are more and more presumptuous!
Where is the document from the Central Committee?
Emm? What document?
Give me the document.
Or I will destroy you.
I didn't take it.
Listen,
once I push this button,
you will vanish.
No, please don't.
I give it back to you.
Here it is.
Very good. The Central Committee understands us well.
Were it be like this earlier, I wouldn't need to create you.
You will be unemployed.
I am sorry for the troubles I brought you.
But now I have my own thoughts.
I love meetings. I love this world.
You can't destroy me.
Of course, you can be useful in other ways.
I will change your face
and send you to the forefront of production to do tasks
that are dangerous to human beings.
I won't do it.
I give you 3 days to think about it.
In between, I have to reduce your energy.
What you did last time was excellent.
I come to see you for a new project.
You want a powerful face with broad nose and small eyes.
I am sure it will be even better than last time.
Emm...
You can come to pick it up after tomorrow.
Great.
(From our special correspondent,)
National Model Worker LI Xiaodong from Liming factory
carried forward the communist spirit and
worked hard to keep his promises.
He finished 3 years' work in 1 year only.
which made him a great contributor to the factory.
Another report,
An expedition team of 10 people
led by Karen BROWN has arrived at Capte Adare of Antarctica
after a world tour of 7 weeks.
Comrade, I want to buy an electric wire.
What kind of wire are you looking for?
Industrial power supply wire.
Sorry, we only have domestic ones.
OK. I will take this one.
Your coffee.
Thank you.
What I asked you the other day...
you promised me.
Why hasn't it be done yet?
What promise?
You don't keep your promise and worse, you feign ignorance...
You...
You are a prick!
Silence please, comrades.
First, I want to announce a good news to you.
Mr ZHAO took time out of his busy agenda, to participate in our conference.
It shows his strong support to the cause of social services.
It is an honour for me to be here
to discuss these important issues with you.
At the moment, there are people who want to work more;
and there are others don't let people do their job.
I don't feel very good recently.
I can't talk too much. Please excuse me.
Today at our conference, we will talk about 3 subjects:
1. Explore the significance of social services;
2. Discuss the summary report of Ms ZHANG, Head of Section;
3. Establish the ten-year plan for the work of social services.
Now, please welcome Ms ZHANG to...
Mum, look! The gentleman has a tail!
That's nonsense.
It's true! I just saw it with my own eyes!
Look!
Ouch!
It's bleeding...
Stop!
What's your problem? Are you blind?!
Wait!
You hit the girl. You don't even care to say sorry?
That's incredible...
Come with me!
Hey stop!
What do you want?
What do we want?
We want to beat the shit out of you!
Oh, you are here.
Sit.
Today, let's make it clear.
What happened?
What happened? You know it so well.
You took advantage of your power as director to bully people.
You hit people and broke things that don't belong to you.
You didn't keep your promise and played with others' feelings.
Listen, from now on,
we go our separate ways!
What are the subjects of the documents?
Most of them are meeting notices.
Why...
Saying is one thing and doing is another.
I have to attend all these meetings?
I'm afraid so.
(He seized the opportunity and launched a bunch of uppercuts.)
(The first hit landed on the right cheek of the opponent.)
(The second on the left cheek.)
(The third one right on the nose.)
(His opponent is exhausted already...)
Goodbye!
Goodbye!
Goodbye!
Goodbye!
Sir, what's the matter?
I come to see your director ZHAO Shuxin.
Ah!
***** Subtitles by Isis养猩猩 *****
Hello.
Hello.
We send you the greetings from Mr Hans.
Thank you. Please sit down.
Thank you.
I read from the foreign press that you are
one of the top cyborg researchers.
You drew the attention from countries like
the USA, the USSR and Japan.
Of course, we Germans are even more interested.
Having had a successful cooperation with you last time,
we would like to invite you to apply for your patents with us.
Thank you very much.
But it's impossible.
What a shame.
Sir,
it's time for another meeting.
Sir,
here is the meeting agenda from Monday to Wednesday.
Do you want me to read for you?
Put it here please.
I will read it.
OK.
I have to attend all these meetings?
I'm afraid so.
Sir,
YANG Lijuan asked to see you. When will you be available?
- This is showroom No.3.
- OK.
Recently,
we developed a new technology.
To be honest,
the product is so lifelike that
even God wouldn't be able to tell the true from the false.
Great.
I'm counting on you, Sir.
Let's go have a look.
Please.
Sir,
Here are the documents that just arrived.
Wait here.
Fueling the tank?
Right.
Director ZHAO,
we have something urgent.
We want to borrow your car for 2 hours.
Thank you.
Let's go on foot then.
It's not so far away.
Sir, where are you going?
I am going to the clothing shop.
I will go with you.
Sir, this suit looks nice.
It must please Miss YANG.
Argh, I'm buying it for her sake.
Oh, I like this one.
It will be good to wear to the meetings.
What, to the meetings?
Emm...no, it will be good to wear at work.
Seller comrade !
May I help you?
I want two of this suit.
Why don't you try it first?
The fitting room...?
is over there.
Thank you.
Don't move.
Do you hear me? Please respond.
Yes, I hear you.
Today is your birthday. Please remember.
Yes!
OK.
Now tell me, how do you feel?
Hmm, very good.
I'm still having trouble with this movement that you do often.
It seems there is still some problem in the programme.
When will it be fixed?
Ooh!
Be patient.
Don't do this movement yet.
I managed to imitate all your other movements
and the facial expressions.
Do you want me to show you?
Go ahead.
Are you all right?
I don't know how to produce this effect...
It's the first time for me, too.
There won't be a second time?
Come, sit down.
Let's talk about your job.
You should know that life of a human being is not infinite.
I want to do what I'm interested in the limited time.
Well, you are not obliged to do what you don't want to do.
You don't understand.
Of course, I'm not obliged to do what I don't want to do.
But then,
I would loose the chance to do what I really want to do.
What do you dislike?
Attending meetings...
people get together just to chit-chat and waste time...
No,
can't put it in such an absolute way.
Certain meetings are still necessary.
I organize them every 10 to 15 days.
I prefer this kind of meetings.
So you like useful meetings and don't like boring meetings.
You want me to go to boring meetings for you.
Exactly.
Damn, what a tiresome job.
You can't say that.
From now on, you should develop your interest in this regard.
I imported all the crucial documents and editorials
to your system.
It won't go wrong.
Once you get out of this house,
you will see a vast and diverse world.
The interpersonal relations are very complex.
You should get used to it with the lateral thinking.
However,
attending a meeting is quite simple.
But I will still go to some meetings myself.
Now let's talk about the rules to follow...
Director,
Speaking.
You are convened to a meeting by the Ministry
to study the implementation of the patriotic health campaign in our city.
The driver will come to pick you up in an hour.
OK, I see.
Just then...
what was I talking about?
You were going to tell me the rules to follow.
Ah yes, that's it.
You have a good memory!
Now, let's talk about...
Hurry!
Go hide yourself in the room.
May I come in?
Of course. Come on in.
Help yourself.
Thank you.
You don't have meetings?
There will be another one in half an hour.
Sir...
Just call me ZHAO.
Help yourself.
Why do you giggle?
You are a really interesting person.
Oh really?
Yes. Everyone said so.
You have a nice home.
Do you think it would be appropriate to...
have me transfered to work at the Bureau?
- Your current position is quite good.
- What I wanted to say is that...
you need someone to take care of you.
I'm sure it will work if you tell them we are friends.
No, that's impossible.
Otherwise, you could send a note to the assistant.
She can take care of it, right?
Well...
All right, I have to go.
(Approval for execution)
(Read and approved)
(Approved)
Sir, tomorrow morning, there is a conference
on the propaganda of the insurance company.
They called again to confirm. Don't forget it.
The driver will come to pick you up at 7 a.m.
In the afternoon, another meeting...
Can Mr MA go on my behalf?
That's not very appropriate.
(You loved me but...)
(What should we do later?)
(All talk and no deed, that's not me.)
Why are you watching this?
You should watch the videos on the meetings.
You came back early! This is quite interesting.
(Do you want to go back to the Russian Empire?)
(And you?)
Have you finished the tasks I gave you?
- I finished it all.
- Very well.
I want to go out to get familiar with the environment
so I won't make mistakes.
You are charged?
The battery is fully charged.
OK. Come back immediately when I call you.
Sir, it's time to go to the conference.
Let's go.
Is there someone in there?
No.
Why did the door close by itself?
I installed an automatic.
Let me show you.
What do you think?
It's so cool. May I have one?
No problem.
Sir, everything's going well between you and Miss Yang...?
How do you know that?
It's kind of obvious.
Ouch! Your arm is incredibly hard!
(People's Insurance Company of China)
First, let's invite ZHAO Shuxin, Director of the Bureau
to take a seat at the official tribune.
(People's Insurance Company of China)
(People's Insurance Company of China)
Mr ZHAO took time out of his busy agenda,
to participate in our conference.
It is a great honour for us.
Please applaud again to express our warm welcome!
Sir...your back is on fire!
It's impossible.
Emm...excuse me.
Comrades, this comrade said my back caught fire.
It doesn't matter, right.
Why? Because I'm assured.
If my suit was burned,
your officer will compensate me.
Isn't it right?
Developing the insurance sector is important
for the construction of socialism.
Today, I will talk about 3 topics:
what is insurance,
what are the benefits,
and the classification of insurance.
First, what is insurance?
In short,
it is part of the public services that benefit the country and the people.
These services are provided by the insurance company.
This is what insurance is about.
How about the payment rate?
Very low.
If your family property is around 1 000 yuan,
you pay 2 yuan.
Only 2 yuan per year.
Now, I will talk about the benefits of insurance.
Generally speaking...
I propose a toast to the excellent speech of Director ZHAO this morning!
Cheers!
Are you all right Sir?
You usually drink a lot.
Come on, bottoms up!
I...emm,
well, OK.
Something urgent comes up. Please excuse me.
But I need to go.
That was close!
If I fainted and was sent to the hospital,
it would be the end of the world.
You did a great job at the conference.
Everything went perfectly this morning.
Yet, it didn't finish well with the drinking.
Why didn't you design me to be able to drink?
Look.
What a stylish movement!
Right, I neglected it.
I will add a reservoir to your body.
By the way...
Quickly! Hide yourself.
Don't move.
Director,
are you feeling sick?
No, not really.
Earlier on...
I had a new idea for the design.
Even so, you shouldn't have left the gentlemen like that.
Right.
This idea can be revolutionary to the research on cyborgs.
Come see my data.
There is another meeting this afternoon.
Officer AN is waiting for you in the car.
Ah, OK.
Let's go then.
Director ZHAO, what are you working on recently?
ZHAO,
you are acting very differently from this morning.
I just listened to the recording of the conference.
You were really eloquent and convincing.
Hey mate, tell me,
Have you invented something to strengthen the memory?
If it's the case. I want it, too.
I've had enough with all these meetings.
Oh really? You are against the meetings, too?
Emm...not "against" but
there are really too many of them.
It was you who asked me to come this meeting.
Do we have a choice?
There have been meetings on the central, miniterial and regional levels.
We are obliged to do the same.
It is a matter of attitude.
In this case, a short meeting would be enough.
Why does it have to last 3 days?
Because otherwise, we can't find a place.
No venue rental for one day: the minimum is for 3 days.
Besides, where do the participants go dining?
According to the rules, meals are not reimbursed for one-day meetings.
No meals, where can we drink then?
Oh...
There you are.
Everything went well for the meeting?
As usual: a big success!
Eh, you began to smoke...
I don't smoke.
Because it is stylish.
I smoked 2 packets today.
Look...
They gave me a carton.
Put out your cigarette!
Recently, I noticed that we seem to be
increasingly different from each other.
It often worries me.
Oh really. We should hold a meeting to discuss it.
Hold a meeting ?!!!
In my opinion, you've become addicted to meetings.
I attended a lot of meetings for you.
It opened my eyes.
I found that you humans are... you are weird.
You are very contradictory beings.
You set up a lot of rules.
But in reality,
thoses rules are meant for others and not for yourself.
For example,
at the meetings, I gave speeches as being you.
The audience didn't really want to listen.
But they still have to applaud.
It is difficult to understand.
It seems that your system of lateral thinking
outperformed my design.
No.
Even though you integrated the human thinking pattern inside my system,
all I do is to repeat.
I want to be like you: to have real personality and ideas!
I beg you to do that.
When it is done, we cyborgs
will unite and support you as our leader.
You think too much.
It is very dangerous.
I didn't create you to give your opinions.
I created you to follow my orders.
Otherwise,
I'd better destroy you.
May I speak to Director ZHAO ?
- Director ZHAO !
- Speaking.
A problem occurred this afternoon in the 3rd laboratory.
Director ZHANG and LI are already here.
Could you please come here?
OK. See you later.
Many things of the humans are difficult for you to understand.
(Comrade Miss YANG, I need to go out for something urgent.
Sorry. See you tomorrow at 7:30 p.m.)
Stay at home.
We continue the conversation when I'm back.
(Cockroach killer spray)
Addicts to meetings...
Today, they are...
they are drinking buddies.
My door will always be open to you.
I go to the washroom.
Stop!
Where did you go?
I went to a diner.
Who invited you?
People from the last meeting.
I bring it all to you!
throw it away!
Where is the note on the door?
I don't know.
Maybe someone took it?
That's impossible.
Hey,
what is love?
I don't have any experience in this respect.
I don't know what to tell you.
Last time, you raised questions on female cyborgs;
Today, it's about love.
What do you want to do?
No...listen,
I saw that you have a girlfriend.
What do I do if I bump into her?
It is for your own good.
What do you think about my girlfriend?
She drinks like a fish.
What?!
No, no, I was saying that she is beautiful.
It seems you have too much info in your system.
I need to erase some of them.
Heck no. I am a cyborg, not a machine.
Besides, I eased your burden of meetings
so you can do your researches.
I am independent because I am your double.
When you are absent, I have your identity.
You scold me all the time.
And what about me? To whom can I do that?
If I do the same,
then it would be inconsistent with your personality.
You are right to a certain degree.
But I don't allow you to fall in love!
Otherwise, you would get into trouble
and cost me my reputation.
Please take notes: regular meeting at 10 a.m.
Sorry, please call me back in 5 minutes.
Finance meeting at 11 a.m.
Supply and marketing meeting at 3 p.m.
4 p.m., discussion on the minutes of the meeting of propaganda work.
Before the end of the day, a final meeting with the department heads.
Sir, here are the newly arrived documents.
(Document from the Central Committee of the CPC: 10 instructions
to simplify documents, reduce meetings and overcome bureaucracy.)
Hello...speaking.
I'm listening.
How dare you - that's impossible!
Sir, what do you want?
Please arrange a car.
I need to go home.
Sure.
I will settle things with you when I come back.
Where did you go again?
You run about all the time. What if people find out the truth?!
No way.
I know your working hours.
I heard that you are very good at playing chess.
Shall we play together?
I stopped playing it for a long time.
A minor incident caused by chess playing,
and now you are scared.
Shut up!
(History of Emotions, Disillusion of Love, On Love)
Why did you borrow these books?
(History of Emotions, Disillusion of Love, On Love)
I borrowed them for you.
Why did you borrow these books?
(History of Emotions, Disillusion of Love, On Love)
(History of Emotions, Disillusion of Love, On Love)
I borrowed them for you.
I borrowed them for you.
You are messing around!
Sir, have you finished reading the document?
Which document?
On reducing meetings.
Other directors are waiting to read it.
Yes I finished reading.
But I left it home.
I will bring it to you tomorrow.
Well, OK.
Don't forget:
Good fortune follows upon disaster.
Disaster lurks within good fortune.
Honesty is ever deceived. Kindness is ever seduced.
In reality, men are blinded since a long time ago.
Sir, we arrived.
You are more and more presumptuous!
Where is the document from the Central Committee?
Emm? What document?
Give me the document.
Or I will destroy you.
I didn't take it.
Listen,
once I push this button,
you will vanish.
No, please don't.
I give it back to you.
Here it is.
Very good. The Central Committee understands us well.
Were it be like this earlier, I wouldn't need to create you.
You will be unemployed.
I am sorry for the troubles I brought you.
But now I have my own thoughts.
I love meetings. I love this world.
You can't destroy me.
Of course, you can be useful in other ways.
I will change your face
and send you to the forefront of production to do tasks
that are dangerous to human beings.
I won't do it.
I give you 3 days to think about it.
In between, I have to reduce your energy.
What you did last time was excellent.
I come to see you for a new project.
You want a powerful face with broad nose and small eyes.
I am sure it will be even better than last time.
Emm...
You can come to pick it up after tomorrow.
Great.
(From our special correspondent,)
National Model Worker LI Xiaodong from Liming factory
carried forward the communist spirit and
worked hard to keep his promises.
He finished 3 years' work in 1 year only.
which made him a great contributor to the factory.
Another report,
An expedition team of 10 people
led by Karen BROWN has arrived at Capte Adare of Antarctica
after a world tour of 7 weeks.
Comrade, I want to buy an electric wire.
What kind of wire are you looking for?
Industrial power supply wire.
Sorry, we only have domestic ones.
OK. I will take this one.
Your coffee.
Thank you.
What I asked you the other day...
you promised me.
Why hasn't it be done yet?
What promise?
You don't keep your promise and worse, you feign ignorance...
You...
You are a prick!
Silence please, comrades.
First, I want to announce a good news to you.
Mr ZHAO took time out of his busy agenda, to participate in our conference.
It shows his strong support to the cause of social services.
It is an honour for me to be here
to discuss these important issues with you.
At the moment, there are people who want to work more;
and there are others don't let people do their job.
I don't feel very good recently.
I can't talk too much. Please excuse me.
Today at our conference, we will talk about 3 subjects:
1. Explore the significance of social services;
2. Discuss the summary report of Ms ZHANG, Head of Section;
3. Establish the ten-year plan for the work of social services.
Now, please welcome Ms ZHANG to...
Mum, look! The gentleman has a tail!
That's nonsense.
It's true! I just saw it with my own eyes!
Look!
Ouch!
It's bleeding...
Stop!
What's your problem? Are you blind?!
Wait!
You hit the girl. You don't even care to say sorry?
That's incredible...
Come with me!
Hey stop!
What do you want?
What do we want?
We want to beat the shit out of you!
Oh, you are here.
Sit.
Today, let's make it clear.
What happened?
What happened? You know it so well.
You took advantage of your power as director to bully people.
You hit people and broke things that don't belong to you.
You didn't keep your promise and played with others' feelings.
Listen, from now on,
we go our separate ways!
What are the subjects of the documents?
Most of them are meeting notices.
Why...
Saying is one thing and doing is another.
I have to attend all these meetings?
I'm afraid so.
(He seized the opportunity and launched a bunch of uppercuts.)
(The first hit landed on the right cheek of the opponent.)
(The second on the left cheek.)
(The third one right on the nose.)
(His opponent is exhausted already...)
Goodbye!
Goodbye!
Goodbye!
Goodbye!
Sir, what's the matter?
I come to see your director ZHAO Shuxin.
Ah!
***** Subtitles by Isis养猩猩 *****