Disconnect (2018) - full transcript

Celine?

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

Celine?

Surely Celine.

- Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
- Wake up…

You've been avoiding me. Why?

I can take a couple of days off,
okay. I'm grown.

It's nearly been a week Celine.

Ugh!

Now you know I have to kill you right?
Like there's no other way around it.

Yeah you can do that
once you get up.



Why do you hate me?

I'm about to risk getting an infection
by entering

that kitchen to make you some tea.

I don't want some tea…

Chamomile with honey?

Okay...

There's no chamomile or honey or
any form of sustenance.

I need some orange juice.

There's some orange juice.

That should do you good.

Mmhmm…

Ugh!

No orange juice for you.

Okay, talk to me...



You can tell me.

So I couldn't sleep that night

I was thinking about him.

I don't know, maybe I was tired
of this open relationship.

Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

That's…disgusting.

So you know that handbag
is an abyss right?

And I think I lost a phone
in there five years ago

and I just found it.

Hopes and dreams go in there to die.

You worry about your own life please.

Is Tupac in there?

So early in the morning
I rocked up at his…

He was there, watching rugby.

I was thinking of,
maybe taking things up a notch.

Mmmh…Hindsight, I should have known.

Well, well, well!

- Hello! Hello! So, what did I miss?
- Thanks.

What? I needed backup.

Ehhh? Tell me...

What? I don't have to tell you guys
anything.

Come on, we're good. Right Josh?

Mmhmm

Who is going to tell me
what's going on?

Come o…

‪ "Why do I…" Ugh! Fine.

Okay

How do your friend here
decided that rocking up

at Ken's house for a booty call
was a good idea.

So, she got over there
and was flaunting herself and all.

Waaa!

Okay so now I have both
questions and comments.

So you guys will tell me which
one to start with first.

Actually...

Let me start with comments.

Cause if I…it just feels like
a great place you know to

explore how much judgment
I've reserved for you.

Mmhmm

Tell me.
What were you doing at Ken's place?

As early as 6 a.m?

- That kinda sounds like a question.
- I know, I've changed my mind halfway.

I don't know, okay?
It was bad, and I need some time!

Celine no.

‪That is highly counterproductive to what
‪we're trying to achieve here.

It was bad, ehh?

I had this trench coat
over sexy lingerie.

I get over him and begin a sexy dance.

He looks shocked.
I thought the surprise worked.

I mean it's a free booty call
early in the morning.

I would be excited too.

- Ohh!
- Then she spoke.

- Damn!
- Yeah.

- Shit.
- Wow!

Exactly!

I'm just gonna take a quick pause on this,

it pre love moment
we are sharing right now.

But I have lots of questions!

Weren't you guys in an open relationship?

Nah, I never really understood that.

Ummh, actually the correct term is
non monogamy.

Ah, booboo you are not going to
"ummh actually" your way out of this.

You're the one who made a huge deal about;
being progressive, giving a man space,

not being contained by flawed expectations
of the human condition,

‪that go against our very nature.

That is quite a speech.

Yes! Quite the vagina monologue Josh.

Babe, what really happened?

Celine! Celine! Celine stop!

- You made that last part up?
- Yeah.

But I did listen to Lemonade
the entire way home

- Did you cry?
- I cried!

So now? It's over?

Wait,

I still have lots of questions!

I need a shower.

Absolutely, you smell like death flavour
of a very heavy flower...

- So heavy
- Well

I hate to interrupt this
little Sisterhood

of the travelling pants moment but

gotta go to work.

Goodbye.

Why are men so fragile?

- So fragile...
- And by the way.

Kenneth is an ass for losing you.

Oh my gosh, I feel so much better now.

Now that you've said that,

like I'm healed.-

I can't; men are trash...
you're awesome.

Thank you so much, Goodbye.

Okay.

Let's go, I pick an outfit for you.

Something decidedly lesbian…

cause you, you need to be off men.

- For a while.
- Yeah.

- Yeah?
- Yes.

We scheme for them?

Aai, Hallelujah!

Hi.

Hey?

The hounds you sent dragged me out of bed.

I missed you too.

Hi. Thank you!

Hello.

The place hasn't burned down. That's good.

- Yeah, we're trying to...
- Hey.

There he is.

Well another week off. Huh!

So what was the problem this time?

On a scale of death on Grey's anatomy

and of course your ovaries raging war
on your uterus?

Does your wife kiss you with that mouth?

- All she gotta kiss is a whole…
- Oh my!

I've regretted it as soon as I asked.

- Thank you
- Am I not allowed to tease the boss?

Your casual misogyny
is getting old Patrick.

Ohhh! Triggered.

Listen, I have some free time
if you wanna pop in and consult on

- perimenopause
- You're an orthodontist.

- I do know my way around...
- Please don't finish that sentence.

- Preeti.
- Patrick.

Why did we hire him?

He is good.

I am.

And then there is that.

Mmhhm.

Yeah, the patriachy
does pay my car insurance.

I'm painfully aware.

Here you go.

What?

New patients on paper…

I thought you guys were trying
to get me to go digital?

It's the proposal. In hard copy…

- cause you're terrible with emails.
- I am not!

Really?

I will have a look at it I promise.

I've heard that before Celine

- and this time you really need to…
- Hi Mrs Njuguna,

how is it that you always get younger
every time I see you?

I hope you're a better dentist
than you are a liar.

- Well you keep coming back.
- Why not?

- It's nice to see you Mrs Njuguna.
- And you too.

Still wading in the murky waters
of solitude?

Ah! Um..I'm sorry?

Yes, yes. She's still single.

- Payback
- Three months later?

Ah, it hasn't been that long.

Has it?

Mrs Njuguna does have
a standing appointment with us.

A three-month standing appointment.

Is there really no one for her?

Ahhh, Um..I'm sorry?

What? I'm sure Preeti
is fine being single.

Right?

Poor girl.

- There's no one.
- Celiiiiine!

Come on. Let's get those gums checked.

♪ I laugh at myself every time ♪

♪ When I find myself in trouble ♪

♪ Cause most of the time
I find myself alone ♪

♪ The ones I laugh with ♪

♪ Are nowhere ♪

♪ To be seen ♪

♪ Where are you ♪

♪ Where are you ♪

♪ Saying to the world
that you care about me ♪

♪ Yet you are a liar do they even know ♪

♪ Taking pictures hashtag
Im chilin with her ♪

♪ Right now Im crying ♪

♪ Looking back youre nowhere
to be seen! ♪

♪ Where are you ♪

♪ Where are you ♪

♪ I laugh at myself every time ♪

♪ When I get myself in trouble ♪

Twice in one day,
that has got to be some kind of record.

My phone…it's been off the whole day.

So you haven't heard? Jesus!

Umm, there's been an accident.

It's Kenneth.

So she's deep frying butter in butter?

And that's not even the best part.

Guess what she'll garnish it with?

Butter?

Butter. That's correct.

Yes!

It's okay.

You know he tried to call me today?

- CC, there's no way you could have...
- I know.

♪ Adam kissed Eve ♪

♪ And the world came to be ♪

♪ Romeo kissed Julliet ♪

♪ So kiss me now babe ♪

♪ Tomorrow I might be gone ♪

♪ Momma kissed Papa ♪

♪ And so I was born ♪

♪ Judas kissed Jesus ♪

♪ Betrayal was done ♪

♪ So kiss me now ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ Tomorrow I might be gone ♪

♪ I might be gone tomorrow ♪

♪ May not be like today ♪

♪ And even if I am here ♪

♪ I might not taste the same ♪

♪ Kiss me now baby ♪

♪ Tomorrow I might be gone ♪

♪ Delila kissed Samson ♪

♪ And cut off his hair ♪

♪ And Shiba kiss Solomon ♪

♪ And wisdom was shared ♪

♪ So kiss me now baby ♪

♪ Kiss me now kiss me now ♪

- ♪ Tomorrow I might be gone ♪
- ♪ I might be gone ♪

♪ Aaah ♪

♪ Sinful woman kissed the feet ♪

♪ Of Christ ♪

♪ And David kissed Jonathan ♪

♪ And friendship survived ♪

♪ Kiss me now baby ♪

- Hi. Thank you.
- ♪ tomorrow I might be gone ♪

♪ Uwooh ouwooh yeah ♪

♪ I might be gone ♪

♪ Tomorrow ♪

- ♪ May not be like today ♪
- ♪ be like today ♪

♪ And even if Im here ♪

♪ I might not taste the same ♪

- ♪ Kiss me now baby ♪
- ♪ kiss me now baby ♪

♪ Tomorrow I might be gone ♪

♪ Come kiss me now baby ♪

♪ Tomorrow I might ♪

♪ Be gone ♪

♪ I may seem innocent like a cat
without her claws ♪

♪ You may think I am super sweet
but like a lion Im gonna roar ♪

♪ I will take you by surprise
like a stranger in the night ♪

♪ Ready or not here I come ♪

♪ Ready or not here I come ♪

♪ Boy you better run and hide ♪

♪ Here comes trouble ♪

♪ Here comes trouble ♪

♪ I say ohh, ohh, I feel your lust ♪

♪ I know you wanna be dangerous ♪

Clearly it's worse than I thought.

My money!

Faster faster!

Thank you.

Eh! Eh! Eh! Thank you.

Great deal

Don't even explain.
Explaining makes it hard.

Clearly we all need to go out.

How are you?

Jesus!

Heal her, heal her.

Where we need to go, is church.
This Sunday.

It's happening, don't fight it.

Don't involve me
in your church business.

You just counted yourself
out of the kingdom of heaven.

- How about that?
- Mmhmm, I know.

Ladies, ladies. Play nice.

Celine.

Come!

Ugh! Preeti!

Shsshh.

- I'm fine, I promise.
- Don't fight it, let it happen.

Have your boobs gotten bigger?

They have? They have? Haven't they?

Come on, they have.

What exactly were you hoping
would happen?

I don't know.

I wanted to, surprise him.

- With some morning head?
- Yes TK, with morning head.

How is that such a bad thing?

Umm, fornication for one?

Go away!

Say, as much as I've come to appreciate
your 40-year-old virgin acts,

some of us need some good stroke
on a regular...

Oh my god!

You said it girl.

Stop it.

No no, seriously, why even did you have
a key to his house?

For emergencies.

Now I think even he forgot
he gave it to me.

You guys should have seen the look
on his face like

"I fucked up."

No, no, no. He fucked up.

Ayee, let's not speak ill of
the dead surely.

I shouldn't have gone there.

The ghosting was a hint.

- So, was she hot?
- TK??

Seriously Toni!

It's just a question.

Okay.

It's okay.

Is that?

Yeah.

Yooo, she is hoooot

Yeah.

I can't imagine what that must have
felt like.

I can still…feel the heat from the tarmac.

Well Samantha is in grief...

Some volume, turn it up.

No guys.

No it's fine, it's okay.

I cradled him when

I cried for help.

That sling, it looks like an accessory.

Yeah and the heifer is working it.

It's okay, you're okay now.

I don't trust her.

Hey Toni, a man is dead.

And, she's in hospital?

Yeah! With her face full of make-up.
And yet his body is not even cold

and she's already giving an interview.
Guys?

She has make-up on.

And brows on fleek?

Okay.

She does look good though.

Fam, her boyfriend just died.

An entrepreneur always
searches for change.

Responds to it,
exploits it as an open window.

You genuinely scare me sometimes.

- What are we watching?
- Opportunity!

Anyway.

All right guys.

- Let's focus.
- We have a big…

Holy shit! She's here.

You actually did it

Belinda Muli

I'm gonna get you really drunk

so you can tell me how
you managed to pull that off

Actually involves alcohol,
and her secretary

and my penis.

Alright, focus.

Miss Muli.

Miss Muli, it's a pleasure
to meet you in person.

Yes, I imagine it is.

Thank you so much for seeing us today
Miss Muli.

Call me Belinda.

We were surprised that you came
to our offices.

We would have been happier
to come to yours.

It wasn't necessary.

Well Miss Muli or rather Belinda

wanted to come and see
where her money is going.

- Isn't that right?
- Yes, intimately.

You're a sharp cookie.

I think you'll find that this particular
jar is full of them.

Miss Muli, would you like
something to drink?

No thank you.

Okay, um.

So, we sent you a proposal about us

the company, and we are the premium…
bouquet

to...

What just happened?

- You could lend a hand.
- Where's the fun in that?

I'm a feminist.

No seriously Celine, it's a two-day trip.
Come on.

It's a wedding Josh.

How many weddings are they
planning to have?

- Look if you didn't want to do this…
- Relax.

And I hate it when people tell me that.

I know.

♪ Cause I'm so tipsy ♪

♪ And you're so in ♪

♪ My head and am trying ♪

Jeez!

♪ Not to lose my friend ♪

♪ Jumping off the friendzone baby ♪

Alright, buckle up.

♪ Out of the friend zone baby ♪

♪ And I got no parachute ♪

♪ Jumping off the friend zone baby ♪

♪ Out of the friend zone baby ♪

♪ E ya mado ♪

Ahh.

Thanks boo.

♪ You are my inspiration
in the music I compose ♪

♪ Mentally frustration ♪

Are you okay?

♪ I have hidden my feelings ♪

♪ Jumping off the friend zone ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ Out of the friend zone baby ♪

♪ And I got no parachute
Jumping off the friend zone ♪

♪ The creator was not wrong ♪

I've always been jealous how you do that.

What?

You can just REM minutes after
the car starts moving

So, what were we dreaming of?

Ken.

This isn't disenfranchised grief.
I was going to marry that man.

You know, I don't recall
you guys being that…

How was the funeral?

Uneventful.

CC you're taking this death a lot harder
than I thought you would.

I think it may have been my fault.

Partly.

You're doing that thing again.
That thing where you make something

that has absolutely nothing to do with you
about you.

Don't look at me like that,
you know it's true.

Remember when Prince died?

Oh my god that was devastating.

Yeah, and you cried the entire week

and then said that he was selfish.

He knew how much I needed that new album,

and then what does he do?

He goes and dies.

Disrespectful!

And then there was Whitney

Ok now that was just uncalled for.

I had tickets to see her live.
Selfish!

You don't mean that do you?

Of course not,
she's the voice of our generation.

Her and Beyoncé.

All that, hidden nonsense you listen to.

I feel like you've been
practicing

- that Judy impression for a while.
- I have. You know she called me a

devil hugging demon because
I forgot the Lord's Prayer.

What? How does
she come up with these things?

I know right.

The car…

- The red Peugeot.
- No.

- I thought you said no CC.
- It was just supposed to be a soft loan.

There's nothing soft about a down payment
on a sissy vehicle.

That coupe was beautiful.

Anybody who drives a coupe
is viscerally vain.

- Your dad drives a coupe.
- Well he's intrinsically one of those.

Bottom line CC,
it's not your fault

that he died in the accident.

He was a shitty driver.

You are in the clear.

Two doors when you can have four. Why?

♪ Youre my light Im your shadow ♪

♪ Never never never gonna let you go ♪

♪ When Im troubled, baby yeah ♪

My daughter. Always the last to arrive.

Fashionably.

We left late, it was my fault.

I know.

- Nobody's feeding you in the big city?
- Just been busy.

Too busy to eat?
To come see me? I just missed you.

- I've missed you too Mom.
- I've missed you too Mama C.

My son, getting more and more handsome
every time I see him.

- Yeah
- Don't you think so Celine?

- Wait for it.
- Why don't you marry this boy?

And there it is.

- No I'm ju... I'm just asking.
- I want to go and find Guka.

He's in there, pretending that he hasn't
been looking forward to this all week.

Thanks, I'll see you later.

- Alright.
- Wait, you're not staying?

- I made so much food.
- I need to go and see the folks.

- Tell your mum I have her sweet potatoes...
- Oh my gosh mom Let the boy go.

- Honestly, I think she's just scared.
- Oh my gosh mom stop.

Ok Mama C.

Take care.

I will never be a grandmother.

Oh hey boo!

- Hi! When did you get here?
- Like an hour ago.

- Mmm
- Oh by the way the ladies are here

they're super excited.

- And you?
- I ran away.

- And did you see the goats?
- All 99 of them?

Nicholas is not playing.

Why did you run?

I just needed to find somewhere quiet
to pray.

I should have just stayed at
my Dad's house here.

Yeah? Why didn't you?

I just don't like being alone.

And the house is too big.

I get the feeling it's…

Haunted.

By who?

The ghost of the privileged past?

The Mau Mau.

Oh my god!
Toni collect your friend.

No no no, friend is a very strong word.
Please, no, no.

Get married.

You know I just might.

What? Are you serious?

Yeah.

I'd argue I'm more significantly more

than a bunch of goats, but yeah.

You? Slay queen.

Eh, Martha Karua has softened.

Our Ayn Rand.

What, I can't get married and fight
patriarchy too?

Does everything have to be about
the patriarchy though?

- Yeah.
- Preety much!

And besides I wouldn't expect someone
who's dedicated her entire life

to a fictional character and his father
in a story book.

Ah? Ouch!

You spit that out right now!

Hey, can the members
of the feminist brigade

- come help me in the kitchen?
- Sure.

Now this one, is tied to her
husband, I'm sure she won't let go.

Just see how he spoils her.

Such a comedy.

Let's go!

The meat is ready and the women
are at the gate!

And that venue is lit.
It's quite something Robin.

Thanks for running interference T.

Anything to get me out of whatever
you guys are wearing.

You know its like they get itchier
the more we wear them.

I think I'm gonna try to convince daddy

to skip this part of my wedding.

Look at this one,

thought your dad knows
you are already married to Jesus.

Amen to that.

Hi, hand them over.

What? We love Nicholas but he has
a gentle disposition.

You know they are gonna
tear him apart

if he gets nervous and
gets this wrong this time.

- I mean last time was hilarious, right?
- Yeah, right.

Why did he pick me? I am..

Don't even try to say it's
because you are light skinned please!

- I was going to go with tall.
- Sure.

That boy almost cried.

You know he'll still owes baba
like more goats

even after he had given
like a thousand cows

after that wedding fine

Are you girls ready?

You know, your husband is greedy.

I just thought I should
just tell you that.

- It's alright mama.
- I'm so proud of you.

Awww.

Aki Mama Ciru you know
you'll make her cry.

The way we've spent hours on that face.

I love you

Let's go! Cover your faces.
We go finish with these traditions!

- Let's go.
- Sure?

Okay. Are we ready?

No.

- Robin?
- Yes, I don't know, maybe.

I don't know.

Okay which one is it?

It's okay.

Yes, okay.

- Yes.
- Yes?

Yes.

Yah, absolutely yes.

Yes!

Okay. Okay I'll take it.

Okay let's go.

Hey you.

- Hey, you guys done?
- Uh huh.

Cool. What are you wearing?

I'm on my way.

Oh! Look who's awake…

Breakfast?

No thanks.

When did this girl start hating food?

Med school.

Where's everyone else?

They left already, you've been asleep
for a while.

Mmm.

Hi, Josh we go?

Alright.

See you.

Mama C, I'll miss you.

I'll miss you too.

Give me a second,
I'll get something for you.

Okay.

- I'll be in the car.
- Alright.

Did you love him,
the boy that died?

How did you…?

We may not talk much but I'm your mother.

I know things.

You know you can call me right?

Yeah, I know. I know.

Bye Guka.

♪ You are not living to abuse ♪

Your grandpa doesn't talk much…

Are you going to be okay?

He'll be fine, he's just old. It happens.

It happens.

Okay, what are you doing with my phone
and where is your own?

I don't know, I can't find it,
I'll just check my emails.

- You never check your email.
- I know, and I'm trying to be better.

I'm not gonna scroll through
your dick pics.

I don't have any dick picks.

♪ You all just don't know ♪

♪ That is why you will not ♪

♪ You don't stop abusing ♪

♪ You all just don't know ♪

♪ What my mom taught me ♪

♪ That is why you will not ♪

♪ You don't stop abusing ♪

Coochie, Coochie, Coochie…

Where are you?
Oh Preeti?

I'm goin' find you…

oh I'm goin' find you.

Come..come here.
Where are you?

Ah! I have found you!

Heeeeeey.

Ah, Jo..Josh!

Josh!

Celine!

So you didn't ask him that?

Of course not,

but I feel like I should have.

I should have, right?

Well what was that?

What was what?

What was that?

Wait.

Come on, what was that?

TK? TK? TK?

Or maybe, maybe just your timing
is a little off.

You and Preeti have been trying
to take me upwith anything that walks

Yes, except Josh!

And why the hell not.

You've been trying to pair us up forever.

Babe,

you should be playing the part of
a grieving wife right now.

Okay, and I vote we change the subject.

Feels like we just talk about men
when we hang out.

Hey, Preeti has been trying to get me

- into this expansion plan.
- Oh!

- You've read the proposal already?
- It's a solid one.

Look, I've worked my butt off
to get us where we are.

- I'm not gonna just gamble it all away.
- What's so special now?

I'm just not ready.

That's not it

I just…

I need to have something that
I can't lose.

Okay?

That's a good one.

Who's gonna put it down.

Lay it on... set... Mmm.

Can you stop that.
You look stupid.

Come on man, she was banking on you.

- Heard?
- No.

Why don't you ask Khalid?

Yeah.

Khalid…well I would but…

Khalid is…

Well Khalid, I mean look at him.

He looks like he has two kids,
and an adopted dog.

I mean his balls look like
they have a mortgage.

He's a dad without
really being a dad.

Thank you.

Huh!

Nobody wants to fuck with a fore dad

Well I'll have you know
I do just fine.

Yeah if the girls
have dad issues…

Sure.

But she has eyes only for you Joshy boy...
For you!

And I just want you to expand that.

I want you to do it for us...

For us.

No.

Sometimes you say
the most hurtful things…

Nicky boy!

Quit steaming your balls,

we've got a bachelor party to kick off.

What's it with you and balls?

Cause I have a sturdy pair
and he is about to lose his.

But not before the city sucks them dry.

Graphic. Oh Graphic.

My guy, you guy.

Hmm.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Come on. Shots anyone? Shots?

- It's Olivia Pope night.
- And it's only 8 p.m.

Come on, you said no
to the strippers,

no to the dildo straws,
no to the condom veil. Aiii!

What! There's no condom veil?

Yeah, and all we got left
is this big mansion,

with some scavenger hunt
looking for some quest

from some Benny Hinn
someone, about marriage

Oh! Come on.

That, that's not how scavenger hunts
works honey.

Okay, some woman coming to talk to Robin
about being a good wife?

Oh yes because…
Every good wife,

must cook for the husband, every day
without exception.

♪ Now give me the money ♪

So rude.

Babe, I'm getting married this weekend,
again,

and this is the only chance for me
to make poor decisions,

and I don't wanna do it without you.

But, our bodies are temples.

They are made of tequila mostly.
Drink up.

Yes.

Drink up pastor!

Shots! Shots! Shots!

Yes!

♪ Sweat sweat sweat ♪

♪ Wet wet wet ♪

♪ Sweat sweat sweat ♪

♪ You can see how I am bringing it down
you can see how I am bringing it up ♪

♪ And the way I am swinging it ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Sweat sweat sweat ♪

♪ Wet wet wet ♪

♪ Make your body wet wet wet ♪

♪ Wet wet wet wet ♪

♪ Wet ♪

♪ Ooh Wet ♪

Ola!

Right now?

Get out of here.

Madam. You have a guest.

Thank you.

♪ Baby boo say dare ♪

Ladies I'll be right back, okay?

♪ Oh say dare ♪

♪ And you say dare ♪

♪ Ooh say dare ♪

Mmm.

Brother! Here?

Here.

Thanks bruh.

Relax, they're just mints…

I think.

- I'm Joking.
- I swear this is not that kind of night.

I'm Joking, I'm just messing with you man.
All my drugs are color coordinated.

Nicky boy!

The stepbrother I never wanted
but I came to love.

How are you?
Want a mint?

- Noo.
- Ah, No! no! no!

We don't want ladies smelling
what you had for lunch now do you?

Bro, the only person
you are kissing tonight…

Is the toilet seat bowl.

Let's go!

Argh.

Yes! Argh!

I haven't been out in ages man.

Somehow, I don't find that
hard to believe.

Thanks for organizing this Otis.

You really didn't need to throw me
a bachelor party.

Come on man, you're family, you're family,

you're family. We all are family.

- Ah?
- Mmm.

Okay, what's Khalid's last name?

Yeah, wha... what's my last name?

Kha..Khalid's last... last.

Your last name is let's get this
party started.

Go!

It's Mohammed, right?

Ali?

- No.
- Abdalla?

- You've worked with this guy for years.
- Give me something bro?

♪ I step up in the club
Fine girls are confusing me ♪

♪ Every corner I look
I don't know what to do ♪

♪ I straight up go crazy
when a lady tries to hit on me ♪

Are you okay boss?

♪ If she insists I... ♪

♪ Nairobi ladies love to party ♪

♪ Even us guys weve come to party ♪

♪ Check how everybody
is having a good time ♪

♪ Good time yeah
Nairobi ladies love to party ♪

♪ Even us guys weve come to party ♪

♪ Check how everybody
is having a good time ♪

Nicholas…Nick. Please.

♪ Everybody in the part say today ♪

♪ Its not yesterday not tomorrow
but today ♪

♪ Everybody in the part say today ♪

♪ Today ♪

♪ Its not yesterday not tomorrow
but today ♪

I'm so sorry

♪ Its where I want to be ♪

♪ Nairobi ladies love to party ♪

♪ Even us guys we've come to party ♪

♪ Check how everybody
is having a good time ♪

Mmm.

♪ Nairobi ladies love to party ♪

♪ Even us guys we've come to party ♪

♪ Check how everybody
is having a good time ♪

♪ Good time yeah ♪

- Good evening?
- ♪ Everybody in the part say today ♪

- Uh, can I kindly have your order?
- ♪ Leo ♪

Yeah, all of this.

I'm on it.

She said on it.

Like on it.

- We on it. You on it. On it.
- ♪ Its not yesterday not tomorrow ♪

♪ Its not yesterday
not tomorrow but today ♪

♪ Everybody in the part say today ♪

♪ Na na na ♪

♪ Its not yesterday not tomorrow
but today ♪

♪ Today ♪

So, listen up girls. Maanzeste…me

- You.
- You.

I'm going to show you girls,
how to think of the penis.

Not, as a screwdriver. Ah! Ah!

But, like a microphone.

- Eh!
- Shhhhh!

System one, two...

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

One that you will be... speaking into.

What have I done?

Given me the best
bachelor party ever!

I am feeling so good,
I want to cry!

I'm done girls.

Jesus!

Oh!

Now, you need to learn how to,
communicate.

Talk to the penis.

Yes. Communicate.

First things first.

No play without... foreplay.

Yessss!

Foreplay is important!

Very much.

And then …

- You must allow him, to go down there.
- Oh!

Oh!

Down... and stay down there.

Stay.

Yes.

20 minutes…

minimum.

How about...

Really?

Okay.

Hello.

It's calling me.

You can touch.

Touch it!

I miss you.

I will sell your soul for the dick.

Oh.

For that.

Oh!

Give me this one.

Yes!

Let's speak into it.

Helloooo?

Ahhh!

Ah!

Argh! What time is it?

Midnight.

I took too many shots.

Argh!

- I think we went in too hard, too fast.
- I have the worst headache.

Where does he get
all that energy?

- And what happened to us?
- We're getting old.

It happens.

Did, did any of you see where
Otis put those mints?

Somewhere, on the sofa

Whoa!

Yoo! I'ma see you later at the bar.

Shots! Huh!

You guys having fun?

You guys having fun?

You guys having fun?

- You guys having fun?
- You know it looks like you just...

- Yo! I just feel like
- have one of those

passing out right here next to
big papa bear!

And this cushion smells like, shit.

Okay, I think this is that time
where I call an Uber.

- Who's coming?
- Oyaa!

Noo!

You heard me. I said no!

This is my last time to make
poor decisions

before I become Robin's…bitch!

Whoa there Kanye.

That's the first time I've heard you
curse my friend.

I don't do it often.
I never do anything.

Well you're getting married.

- She proposed.
- What?

- Yeah.
- Wow!

- I can actually see that.
- Fuck me!

She's planning everything,

from the wedding, the honeymoon,

the gender of our fourth child,

who we'll say is an accident,
but actually wasn't.

Yo, I think I think she's…

- If you say crazy I'll...
- Hey hey hey.

Intense... I meant intense.

This is the only thing she let me have.

So right now, I just want to get
blackout drunk

and nestle some titties.

Okay.

Too much. Yeah?

Yeah. Yeah.

I heard it when I said it.

Let me get up.

It's alright.

Where are my titties?

What?

- Nick? Why?
- I trust you're having a good night?

- Yes we are.
- Can I get you gents anything else?

- Yes, yes!
- No!

The second half of this menu…

- Bill.Menu.
- I got you

She's got, she's on…ouuu.

Yoo, did you guys pop?

Yooo I have stronger ones.

Some red ones over here.

Where...

- These aren't mints?
- Mmhm.

Where's Nicholas?

- Nick!
- ♪ music ♪

What…did he?

Look, look!

Nicky! Nicky boy! Come here boy.

♪ I just cant take it ♪

♪ No more no more no more ♪

♪ Ooh yeah hold me ♪

♪ Players circle hold me ♪

♪ The way she is killing me ♪

♪ You are loosing a member
East African girl forever ♪

♪ You are very beautiful ♪

♪ The way she is killing me ♪

♪ You are loosing a member ♪

♪ East African girl forever ♪

♪ You are very beautiful ♪

♪ The way she is killing me ♪

♪ You are loosing a member ♪

Hey gorgeous.

Hey!

Are you having fun?

I'm having so much fun.

Honestly, more than I expected.

Here.

Aw thank you.

Ah, the boys are having fun huh?

Yeah, it's not like that,
they lost Nicholas

in the club or anything.

- Huh?
- Huh? What? What?

The one person, like forever.

I mean…I can barely make up
my mind like about anything.

Like it took me an entire year

to pick out health insurance.

I can barely decide what
I want to have for dinner.

But I…I guess that's just why
we do what we do.

It's just…Like you know but then
you don't know.

So you just cross your fingers

and hope you haven't fucked up too much.

Oh crap, Robin I'm so sorry.
Robin I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

It's…um..try..I'm…I'm gonna go and get…

Shit shit shit shit shit.

Don't mistreat him.

Heh!

- He's just drunk
- Hey!

Heh!

Hi.

Celine what the hell is going on?

Nothing, it's just err,
a lot of talking about dildos.

Why? Do you wanna join.

I mean with Robin?

Nothing, err… I…I just spoke to her
a few minutes ago. Why?

You are not going to believe this
but apparently there is no wedding

so we need to sort this shit out.

Okay, err…

They are saying there is no...

- wedding!
- I'm going to need you to repeat that

because I think
you just said…What!

- Robin, Robin, Robin hey!
- Celine hey! Hi!

I'm on the phone with Josh and the boys…
Yeah. I hope they're enjoying themselves.

Heeey Josh!

- Huh! What?
- Did you just call off your wedding?

- What?
- Yeah!

Guys, what's happening?

She just called off her wedding.

- Aha…yeah.
- What?

Huh?

Huh? Yeah!

Robin!

Is this because Nicholas took a shot
off a bartender's belly button?

- Belly button?
- Breasts okay?

He was taking shots of her breasts.

I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry.

You know he never has fun.

Let him have fun.
Let him have some fun.

What is she saying?

I'm working on it Josh
calm thy tits

Alright the wedding is still on.

I thought about what you said,
and you know what?