Dirty Work (1933) - full transcript
Chimney sweeps Stanley and Oliver go about their job, reducing Professor Noodle's living room to a shambles in the process, while the mad doctor works in his laboratory perfecting his "rejuvination formula." Cackling with glee, the Professor demonstrates his success for the boys, dropping a duckling into the vat and winding up with an egg. There's a somewhat different type of regression, however, when Stanley accidentally knocks Oliver into the formula.
Ah! At last!
Ha ha! Well, it won't be long now.
Shouldn't be. You've been at it 20 years.
True, my boy.
But remember, Rome wasn't built in a day
and if this test of mine proves successful,
it'll be the greatest scientific
discovery of the age.
Something the world's been waiting for.
Rejuvenation!
Just think, with a few drops of this solution,
l could make you 30 years younger!
(Clock cuckoos)
(Bell jangles)
See who's at the door, Jessup.
Good afternoon. ls this the home
of Professor Noodle?
- lt is.
- We've come to sweep his chimney.
Step this way.
Where is the fireplace?
ln that room.
You'll find it standing against the wall.
Who was it, Jessup?
The men are here
to sweep the chimney, sir.
Good!
(Stan whistles cheerfully)
(Clock chimes)
Now put on the extension.
Oh!
You take care of this end.
- l'm going up on the roof.
- What for?
l'm going to stay as far away
from you as possible!
Here, pull that.
Hey!
What?
l don't mean you.
How do you get on the roof?
The skylight is in the closet
at the top of the stairs.
You'll know which is the closet.
lt has a door on it.
(Crashing)
Three drops of...fanaca paluta!
One.
Two.
Three.
(Clock chimes)
(Clock chimes continuously)
(Chiming stops)
(Shattering glass)
- What do you want?
- Don't push it up until l tell you.
Now push it up slowly and be careful!
A little more!
- More!
- That's as far is it'll go.
Well, put on another extension!
- There isn't any more!
- Well, do something.
l don't wanna stay up here all day.
Did you find something?
Yeah. lt'll be up in a minute.
Good!
Now one more push and we've got it.
(Gunshot)
- (Clunk)
- Aah! Oh!
One half-drop of pippy hippy risotti.
Oh... Ah-ah-ah-ah! Argh!
(Shattering glass)
Would you mind opening the front door
and letting me in?
One half-drop...
- Did you hurt yourself?
- l have nothing to say.
You attend to your work
and l'll attend to mine.
(Hums merrily)
(Whistles merrily)
Oh! Aagh!
Oh!
(Gunshot)
(Crack)
Ohh!
Somewhere an electric chair is waiting!
- What did he mean by that?
- l still have nothing to say.
Let's clean up this mess and get out of here.
(Ripping)
Don't you ever do anything right?
l have nothing to say.
(Clang)
- That's a pretty picture, isn't it?
- Uh-huh.
- l wonder where it is.
- l think it's Rio Hondo.
l wonder if there's any fish in there.
(Clang)
Quarter pinch.
Heh-heh-heh! Now for the final test.
Ah! Success at last!
You did it! You did it!
(Manic laughter)
Jessup!
Jessup! Jessup! Jessup!
Where is Jessup?
Jessup? Oh, about 35 miles
south east of Augusta, Georgia.
No, no, no. l mean my butler.
He went somewhere
to look for an electric chair.
Was there something we could do for you?
Yes. A splendid idea.
Witness the greatest
scientific discovery of the age!
And it's mine, all mine!
(Clucking laugh)
Come. Come!
Ha ha ha!
Come on. Come.
Stay right where you are.
(Cheeping)
Ha ha ha!
Watch. l'm going to rejuvenate this duckling.
(Manic laughter)
A success!
With human beings,
l can make them as young as l want.
The more drops of my solution l put in,
the younger they will become.
Now for a human demonstration!
Well, we'll be seeing you.
Don't go. Wait here till l find my butler.
l'll use him for my experiment.
Jessup! Jessup!
Jessup! Jessup! Jessup!
Jessup! Where are you, Jessup?
Jessup!
- What do you think about it?
- The whole thing looks screwy to me.
How about us trying it on that fish?
That's a good idea.
We'll find out for ourselves.
Come on.
Be careful how much you put in.
You might make it too young.
Get me the eye dropper.
(Ollie) Ohh!
Ollie.
Don't you know me?
Won't you speak to me?
(Ollie's voice) l have nothing to say.
Ha ha! Well, it won't be long now.
Shouldn't be. You've been at it 20 years.
True, my boy.
But remember, Rome wasn't built in a day
and if this test of mine proves successful,
it'll be the greatest scientific
discovery of the age.
Something the world's been waiting for.
Rejuvenation!
Just think, with a few drops of this solution,
l could make you 30 years younger!
(Clock cuckoos)
(Bell jangles)
See who's at the door, Jessup.
Good afternoon. ls this the home
of Professor Noodle?
- lt is.
- We've come to sweep his chimney.
Step this way.
Where is the fireplace?
ln that room.
You'll find it standing against the wall.
Who was it, Jessup?
The men are here
to sweep the chimney, sir.
Good!
(Stan whistles cheerfully)
(Clock chimes)
Now put on the extension.
Oh!
You take care of this end.
- l'm going up on the roof.
- What for?
l'm going to stay as far away
from you as possible!
Here, pull that.
Hey!
What?
l don't mean you.
How do you get on the roof?
The skylight is in the closet
at the top of the stairs.
You'll know which is the closet.
lt has a door on it.
(Crashing)
Three drops of...fanaca paluta!
One.
Two.
Three.
(Clock chimes)
(Clock chimes continuously)
(Chiming stops)
(Shattering glass)
- What do you want?
- Don't push it up until l tell you.
Now push it up slowly and be careful!
A little more!
- More!
- That's as far is it'll go.
Well, put on another extension!
- There isn't any more!
- Well, do something.
l don't wanna stay up here all day.
Did you find something?
Yeah. lt'll be up in a minute.
Good!
Now one more push and we've got it.
(Gunshot)
- (Clunk)
- Aah! Oh!
One half-drop of pippy hippy risotti.
Oh... Ah-ah-ah-ah! Argh!
(Shattering glass)
Would you mind opening the front door
and letting me in?
One half-drop...
- Did you hurt yourself?
- l have nothing to say.
You attend to your work
and l'll attend to mine.
(Hums merrily)
(Whistles merrily)
Oh! Aagh!
Oh!
(Gunshot)
(Crack)
Ohh!
Somewhere an electric chair is waiting!
- What did he mean by that?
- l still have nothing to say.
Let's clean up this mess and get out of here.
(Ripping)
Don't you ever do anything right?
l have nothing to say.
(Clang)
- That's a pretty picture, isn't it?
- Uh-huh.
- l wonder where it is.
- l think it's Rio Hondo.
l wonder if there's any fish in there.
(Clang)
Quarter pinch.
Heh-heh-heh! Now for the final test.
Ah! Success at last!
You did it! You did it!
(Manic laughter)
Jessup!
Jessup! Jessup! Jessup!
Where is Jessup?
Jessup? Oh, about 35 miles
south east of Augusta, Georgia.
No, no, no. l mean my butler.
He went somewhere
to look for an electric chair.
Was there something we could do for you?
Yes. A splendid idea.
Witness the greatest
scientific discovery of the age!
And it's mine, all mine!
(Clucking laugh)
Come. Come!
Ha ha ha!
Come on. Come.
Stay right where you are.
(Cheeping)
Ha ha ha!
Watch. l'm going to rejuvenate this duckling.
(Manic laughter)
A success!
With human beings,
l can make them as young as l want.
The more drops of my solution l put in,
the younger they will become.
Now for a human demonstration!
Well, we'll be seeing you.
Don't go. Wait here till l find my butler.
l'll use him for my experiment.
Jessup! Jessup!
Jessup! Jessup! Jessup!
Jessup! Where are you, Jessup?
Jessup!
- What do you think about it?
- The whole thing looks screwy to me.
How about us trying it on that fish?
That's a good idea.
We'll find out for ourselves.
Come on.
Be careful how much you put in.
You might make it too young.
Get me the eye dropper.
(Ollie) Ohh!
Ollie.
Don't you know me?
Won't you speak to me?
(Ollie's voice) l have nothing to say.