Dirty Vivancos III (2002) - full transcript

< Keep still, keep still . >
< Don't move, don't move. >

< That's it. >
< Perfect. >

< Keep still, keep still . >

< Send a shiver down my spine. >
< Boys, you're perfect. >

I F YOU LI KE IT,
WE' LL MAKE TH E PREQU E LS

That's perfect.

This is fantastic.
Fantastic.

Keep still . Keep still .

Straight from the laboratory
to my office.

Give me the report
and we'll send it.

As always, as usual . . .



I can't understand it!

Vivancos, Homicide.

Go on through .

< Car 1 4 for car 1 6. >
< Do me a favour, . . . >

< have a look and see if I've left >
< my jockstrap behind. Over. >

What are you doing here?
-What's happened?

Two stiffs.

This couldn't have happened
to nicer people.

They were cops.

They were probably after
a drug dealer.

They went into that gay bar.

'' Bar Selina'' .

Your shirt is whiter than mine.

Forget it, Vivancos,
the guys will take care of it.



We've been partners
for over 2 years. . .

and you're always
getting me into trouble!

I nspector?

I thought this was your day off.
-What bleach do you use?

I didn't have
anything better to do.

I don't like meddlers like you .

This isn't your case, Vivancos.
Go back to bed.

I've got insomnia .
-How do you get that whiteness?

Try counting bodies.

With those who died because of
you, you could sleep forever.

I count sheep.

I asked you to stay
away from Homicide.

I don't want people protesting. . .

everyti me you step out
onto the street.

I want no more incidents like
what happened in Chinatown .

Superintendent Pozo. . .

I f I see somebody
giving out sweets. . .

at a school,
I smack all hi m to the station .

That's my policy.

That guy was the mayor and
he was inaugurating the school .

The mayor?

This is the result
of liberal democracy!

Get lost, Vivancos!

Take away the bodies.

''Angelito'' .

< Car 2 1 to headquarters. >
< Someone's stolen our wheels. >

< What should we do? >
< Over. >

Bar Selina, Angelito, . . .

Two dead cops. . .

I'll have a drink inside.

Good morning, Marga .
The usual .

Hello, Vivancos.

Have you seen this?

So far this year, robberies in
bars have increased by 2 0 percent.

With this justice system, you lock
a crook up in the morning. . .

and for dinner,
he's in the street again .

Soon there won't be
a safe place in the city.

See you later, love.

Goodbye.

Great, lads,
you've done a great job!

Hand me over all your valuables!

Money, jewellery. Quickly!
-Give me the cash in the till .

Come on !

Leave it on the table!
-Quickly, come on !

You, out of there.
-Get over there!

Hey, you lot!
All your valuables!

I don't wanna repeat it!

The earrings!
Leave them on the table!

Baby, come over here,
you're really turning me on .

What's with you,
fucking pig?

Everyday
for the last 1 0 years. . .

Marga has given me
a sausage sandwich . . .

with tomato spread on the bread.

Today's one had tomato too, . . .

but besides that
she gave me mustard. . .

A lot of mustard. . .

And we've come to complain .

We?

Who?

My friend. . .

and I .

Be good boys
and let me finish my breakfast!

Where's your friend?

Do you wanna meet hi m?

Keep still !

Get out,
or I'll kill Moby Dick!

There are 7 women for each man .

Nobody's going to miss one more.

Stay away, or her brains
will be all over your suit!

Don't do anything stupid!

I t's difficult to get
blood stains out!

Keep still !

I said don't move,
for fuck's sake!

Go on, . . .

make my day.

Clint Eastwood already said
that in ''Sudden I mpact'' .

How about, ''Sayonara, baby''?

Schwarzenegger,
''Terminator I I'' .

Don't make me punish you .

I manol Arias, '' Dear teacher'',
episode 2 7, . . .

special guest, Paco Valladares.

Somebody get this degenerate
out of my sight!

My mother, my mother,
Christmas Eve, 1 99 2.

Hang on to the sandwich, love!

Look at the flexibility.

Try it out.
Take it, take it.

Look at this. Try it out.
What do you think?

Hello, Vivancos.

Have you contributed
to Pacheco's retirement?

No, sorry.
I'll give it to you tomorrow.

You'll retire someday. Aren't you
afraid of ending up alone?

You should think about marriage.

I think about marriage a lot.

I t must be because
you've reached that age, . . .

when a man realises that
it's not good to be alone.

I t's because I've got a cousin
who videotapes weddings.

He charges 1 0 0 notes
per ceremony and 2 0 for each copy.

Things like that rekindle
your faith in marriage.

By the way, Pajarda's waiting
for you in your office.

Great.

Have a good look at those photos.

Do you know any
of those men, son?

No.

Would you like to meet them?

You wanted to see me?

Yes.

Go to your mother.

The superintendent is really mad.
He wants to see you i mmediately.

Vivancos, don't you ever
get tired of disobeying?

You're like a dinosaur.

Your ideas and your behaviour
belong to another era .

What ideas are you referring to?

That cri me needs
ex emplary punish ment?

How dare you sermonise me?

Do you know who
you're talking to?

Are you aware of everything
I've offered to the force?

The works, 4, 0 0 0?

I also do a body-body for 6,5 0 0 .

Let's go.

The minister is furious.

The clientele of the café
has brought charges. . .

against the department and lodged
a complaint against you . . .

for abusive conduct toward
the feminine condition .

Next ti me I'll let them kill her.

I will not tolerate
your indiscipline. . .

nor your lack
of respect for rules.

I've only ever had ti me for
rules during my late wife's. . .

ti me of the month .
-For Christ's sake, Vivancos!

I should transfer you
to traffic duty.

Don't try my patience or I'll be
obliged to do without you . . . .

in Homicide.
-Superintendent Pozo, . . .

if you have no further orders. . .

Pajarda, introduce hi m to Antonio.

Vivancos, we've assigned
you a new partner.

What's wrong with my current one?

He'd have to patrol the ashtray.

You reduced hi m and
half the brigade to ashes.

My na me's Antonio,
but my friends call me Tino.

Look, Antonio, I hope you've
got good life assurance.

My partners last less than
Elizabeth Taylor's. . .

and I' m fed up of their wives'
demanding money and sex.

Can I ask you a question?

Why do they call you
'' Dirty Vivancos''?

I' m called Vivancos
after my father. . .

and dirty because my mother. . .

Have I picked on your mother?

< Headquarters to all units. >
< There's been a 5-0 . . . >

< in Viladomat Rosellón . >
-Car 38 here. . . .

What are you doing?
We're near.

2 cops were killed last night.

Their bodies were
found in an alley, . . .

beside the back door of a gay bar.

I found this on the floor.

I'd like to have
a look at that bar.

''Angelito'' .

We shouldn't do this.
We're off the case.

I f you're the kind who gets out
of the shower to piss, . . .

you'd be better off
requesting a transfer.

Evening. . .

You stay here.
Cover the door.

I' m looking for a man . . .

Darling,
I'd only break your heart.

A man called Angelito.

Brave little man, . . .

your jacket clashes
with the serviettes. . .

and that may bother
some of my customers.

So if you don't want
anything else. . .

Yes, one more thing. . .

I want to rip that disgusting rug
of gorilla hair off your chest. . .

and rub that idiotic
expression off your face.

And now, tell me
who is Angelito. . .

or I'll tear these rings off and
make a key-ring with your balls.

Vivancos!

Hold it, creep!
Hold it!

Come on, spread your legs!

Spread your arms.
Come on, get your head down !

Right, don't move.

Paper, scissors or stone?

Have a go.

Paper?
-Scissors. You're under arrest.

Shit!
-Come on ! Let's go!

Just because I' m young
and non-conformist. . .

you have to treat me
like a delinquent?

2 cops were killed yesterday
and I found this on the ground.

I don't know anything.
I've done nothing.

Don't you?

What's this?
Talcu m powder for your bu m?

I found it on the ground, I swear!

Do you like crushed nuts?

You can't do that!
I have my rights!

I f you want to keep them intact,
tell us where you got it from.

Last night I was in the bar,
as usual .

There were three cops at a table.

They were plain-clothes,
But I knew they were cops.

They were very quiet.

I knew something was going down .

< Sure. A tip-off. >

< They were nervous. . . >

< very nervous. >

< I passed by them. >

< I went for a pee. >

< While I was peeing >
< I heard footsteps. >

< I looked out the window >
< and saw the cops hiding. . . >

< behind some bo x es. >

< At the end of the street, there >
< was an Audi with its lights off. >

< Then an Opel arrived, >
< blue, . . . >

metallic paint.
4 valve, electric windows, . . .

reclining seats,
power steering. . .

ABS brakes?

I don't think so.

Continue.

< A short guy with a black >
< briefcase got out of the car. >

< He was carrying cash, they. . . >

< Hey! He wasn't that short. . . >

< Yeah, yeah, that's about it. >

A group of thugs got out of
the Audi, all of them bald.

They were selling coke. . .

Bald?

Their heads
shone like fireflies.

Tomasso. . .

< The cops made their move. >
< They caught them with . . . >

< their trousers down ! >
-Put your guns on the ground!

Put your guns on the ground!
< -They ruined their business. >

< They grabbed the briefcases >
< and put them against the wall . >

< I t looked like the situation >
< was under control, . . . >

but when they were going
to handcuff them. . .

one of the bald guys pulled
a knife and started shooting.

A knife?

One of those Swiss army knives.

< A shooting started. >
< The guys in the Opel took off. >

< The cops ran to hide >
< behind the bo x es. >

The one with
the briefcases was shot.

The one with the money
fell to the ground.

The other one was
thrown up into the air.

I t opened and one of the bags fell
and I grabbed it.

< Just one, normal . >
< I swear. >

The bald guys took the cash .

Kruger managed
to get away with the coke.

You already know
the rest of the story.

That Kruger is in danger.

We have to find hi m
before Tomasso does.

I f he knows something about the
bald guys, he can help nab them.

Do they belong to some sect?

They're Tomasso's men .
-Who is Tomasso?

A vermin,
a contemptible being, . . .

a foul-smelling,
disgusting sewer rat.

A creature from a dunghill
with an overpowering stench . . .

that emanates from
his putrid bile.

Worse than a tax inspector.

Have you lost something?

The keys.

How classy, Vivancos!

How are you?

Fine. Just a few injuries.
Nothing serious.

You're fine but we've lost
5 0 0 million worth of cocaine. . .

and you were in charge.

I' m sorry.
I t won't happen again .

Of course, of course. . .

But I needed it
to finance my project.

He got away.

I t's nobody's fault.
These things happen someti mes.

But it would be better if
that cop were no longer alive.

I'll find hi m.
-I t doesn't matter!

Carlitos will do your job.

You need to rest.

Boys, give hi m a good massage.
He deserves it.

No!
Tomasso, please!

Carlitos!
-No! Tomasso, please!

Shut up!
Don't snivel like a girl !

Tomasso, please!

No!

Enough, enough .
Carlitos?

Carlitos!

Get that briefcase back
and find me that policeman .

Ask The Tigress.

She knows the movements of
the whole department very well .

I don't trust that woman .

She looks like a woman, but
in reality it's just a body.

One of those that become etched
in your memory when seen naked.

The Tigress may
betray us someday.

Life is like a big supermarket.

Everything has a price and
we pay more than anybody else.

That theory failed
with Vivancos.

Never mention that na me again !

Get out of my sight, idiot!

Bring me the briefcase
unless you want. . .

to end up hopping like a toad!

Here.
-Where do I put my finger?

No, no!
No, no! Here!

You have to put it here.

No, no.
Not there.

Here.

I want you to do me a favour.

The other night, some men . . .

The other night
I was waiting for you .

I bought a face mask, . . .

I went to the beautician, . . .

I prepared your favourite dish,
ears of corn with watercress, . . .

and I was wearing
'' Eau de Caprix'' .

But you never ca me. . .
-I' m sorry, babe.

This is a fil m for hard men .
There's gonna to be no love story.

Sit down !

The two policemen that died the
other night were on a drug bust.

A third policeman
confiscated a haul of cocaine.

I need to know who it was.

There is no confiscation
on record.

No haul has been seized
in the last few months.

Great!

Get me a copy of the records
of the murdered policemen .

I wanna know
everything in their file.

When they joined the force,
address, if they're married. . .

I nspector, . . .

we're not authorised. . .

We?
Perhaps you're not authorised. . .

and you should run along home
and take the dog out for a piss.

Meanwhile, I'll continue cleaning
up the shit out on the streets.

< He ca me on a boat >
< with a foreign na me. >

< I met hi m at the harbour>
< at the break of the day. >

N u mber 1 0 .
This is the place.

This is a policeman's house?

I love this job.

I'll talk to the widow,
you go to the other guy's house.

Find out who is friends were,
what he was like, . . .

where he fell in love,
where he was from, . . .

what he used to do
in his spare ti me. Ask. . .

I f he painted a smile on his lips?
-Smart boy.

Go on, get lost!

Amazing!

Who is it?
-Police.

Who?

Police!

Police.

Are you Mrs. Amanda Soprosi?

No. Who's calling?

I' m a colleague
of her late husband.

Come in .

Through that door.
You don't need to knock.

I' m sorry.

I thought it was the delivery man .

Mourning suits you .

The servant told me to go through .

What can I do for you?

I' m investigating
the death of your husband.

I guess you know he was found dead
48 hours ago at the door of a bar.

So you're a policeman .

I nspector.

Paco Rabanne?

Vivancos, Homicide.

I love policemen .

They always have
their handcuffs ready.

Can I ask how you ca me to
walk down the aisle with a cop.

Of course, it was my father.

He led me by the arm,
according to tradition .

Are you married?
-No.

I t's a charming photo, the smile
is perhaps somewhat forced.

The hairdo was too tight.

Did you observe anything strange
about your husband's behaviour?

Any change in his habits?

Lately he liked to dress
the dog up as a footballer.

I see.

Didn't he do anything recently
that attracted you attention?

He was my husband.

He never attracted my attention .

This is a very nice house
for a policeman .

Paco answered one
of those chain letters. . .

and the pyra mid grew.

You have a lovely garden .

Beautiful, don't you think?

Do you take care of it?

I like to make some parts. . .

of nature creations grow.

And is that red Ferrari yours?

You ask a lot, inspector.

Won't you lose all your energy
through your vocal cords?

They only modulate.

I t's the tongue that ex ecutes.
-I nteresting.

And now,
I must ask you to ex cuse me.

I have to take care
of some domestic chores.

Right then .

I f you remember anything else, . . .

let me know.
-Of course.

I f you like, we can continue
this pleasant chat some other ti me.

Perhaps. . .?

At your house?
-Over dinner?

Should I bring something?
-When?

Someday. . .

Thanks.

The other policeman was single,
the guy lived like a star.

He had a sailboat called '' Freedom'',
a beautiful garden, pool . . .

and an army of Dobermans
guarding the house.

Where did they get
so much money?

These guys were involved
in something dirty.

We have to find
the third policeman .

Find out who's the owner of
a red Ferrari, registration . . .

'' B-3 0 48-KS'' .

We should inform internal affairs,
shouldn't we?

They're just like a taxman .

They check up on everyone else,
but who checks up on them?

They're going to open a file on me
on my first week on duty.

You just listen to me, kid.

I didn't choose
to change your nappies.

So go back to the Academy. . .

and give your urbanity teacher
a good pinch in the arse.

Maybe she'll fall in love with you
and you'll set up a lovely home, . .

with a couple of children
who wake you up at midnight. . .

bawling like pigs
wanting food. . .

and then shit in their nappies. . .

while you're trying to have
your Saturday night shag. . .

on the sheets that have been
wrinkled by the drooling. . .

of the dog in the bed, while he's
rubbing up against your leg. . .

trying to participate in
this moment of fa mily warmth .

This afternoon we have
a new member a mong us.

Friends, allow me to introduce
Christopher Sunsilk.

Let us welcome hi m
to Bald People Anonymous.

Hello!

Hello, Christopher!

My na me is Christopher Sunsilk.

I' m bald.

First of all, I'd like to
thank you for your welcome.

A week ago,
at the bus stop, . . .

a gust of wind blew my wig off.

I t was then, I realised that
I had been deceiving everyone. . .

Sorry to bother you . . .

Vivan . . .

A certain policeman
has become a problem.

He's investigating
the deaths of the policemen .

The Tigress fears that
he may ruin the project. . .

Nothing and nobody will stop
the first plague of the new era .

She gave me his address.

I also know where the cop
who took the drugs is hiding.

Get the briefcase back
and hire Whisper. . .

to take care of Vivancos.

Who is Whisper?

The cri me syndicate's
most lethal hired assassin .

I want Vivancos to suffer.

I want hi m to tie 2 0 kilos
of cement to his feet!

I want hi m hung from a rope. . .

and slowly lowered
into a pool full of piranhas!

And when they have devoured
hi m, . . .

I want the rest of the filth of
that abominable being collected. . .

and then burnt and the ashes
thrown into the toilet. . .

mix ed with sulphuric acid!

I t will be a delightful spectacle,
only comparable to. . .

Only comparable
to an angel's smile.

I know you've been bothering the
widow of one of the dead agents. . .

with stupid questions!

I went to pay my condolences.
-You are testing my patience. . .

Vivancos.

The other night, a cop confiscated
a briefcase of cocaine, . . .

but forgot to take it
to Narcotics.

Either there is corruption
in the department. . .

or that guy is taking
his work home.

You have no proof.

That man is still alive.

Let me investigate
and get the proofs.

I won't continue to tolerate
your methods. . .

against the rules.
-What rules are you talking about?

The ones that permit two policemen
to be murdered. . .

without anyone getting up
off their arse.

Don't speak to me in that tone!

I' m paid for enforcing the law
and that's what I' m going to do.

Now, I've got work to do.

Not in Homicide.

What?

Get lost, Vivancos.

Do you know the difference between
a good cop and a corrupt one?

Haven't you drunk enough already?

Not enough to forget that
I don't like whisky that much .

To a corrupt cop, . . .

this is just a piece of metal .

For a good cop, this is
worth more than any medal .

I'll swap it for another whisky.

I t's getting late.

You'd be better off going home.

I can't stand sleeping alone.

Nothing has been
the sa me since Laura died.

I miss her perfu me, her voice, . . .

her constant expectoration
due to the bronchitis. . .

caused by tobacco.

The floor covered in vomit
when she had drunk too much .

Years ago I was
on a case.

N uclear weapons trafficking.

That disgusting rat
tried to bribe me.

I wanted to stop hi m.

And we were subjected
to uraniu m radiation .

He lost every hair on his head.

I began to suffer
from chronic hiccups.

One night, Laura ca me
into our bedroom.

She was wearing pyjamas
by Ágatha Ruiz de la Prada.

God!

When I realised she
only wanted to give me a fright. . .

to get rid of my hiccups,
it was already too late.

Give me another whisky, friend.
Tonight, I' m off duty.

< I felt love. >

< Walking through life. . . >

< I learned this song. >

< Extraordinary. >
< -Without a doubt. >

< This is a female, >
< possibly fertilised, . . . >

< inciting the male >
< to repeat the copulation . >

< The extraordinary nuptial song >
< of the Pyrenean crow. >

< We could describe it as a >
< sort of personalised cawing, . . . >

< and each pair shares >
< a different song. >

< And now that we have >
< listened to the cawing. . . >

< of the Pyrenean crow, >
< we shall listen to. . . >

< the rutting howl >
< of the male Bulldog. >

< I t's interesting, as the rutting >
< howl of the male Bulldog. . . >

< is one >
< of the most attractive. >

< I n this case >
< for the Bulldog bitch . >

< Let us hear the rutting howl >
< of the male Bulldog then . >

< There's a relationship, >
< an emotional feed-back, . . . >

< but one that has little >
< to do with language. >

< I t is more of a question of >
< emotional behaviourism. . . >

< I t is much more i mportant. . . >

Yes?
< -Vivancos? >

I t depends.

I have some information
that you may find interesting.

Really?

The towel is on your right,
in the second drawer.

Many thanks, mate.

But there's more.

I was in that alley when
they killed my colleagues.

Nobody was meant
to die that night.

We just had to frighten
the buyers, . . .

but someone betrayed us.

< I have reasons to believe. . . >

that my life is in danger. . .

I' m willing to talk in
ex change for protection .

What have you done
with the cocaine?

< I f you wanna know what's >
< happening, meet me. . . >

< at the abandoned building. . . >

< in Rosario Street, >
< on the second floor. >

< H urry up. >
< You could be next. >

Da mn fuses!
Are you there?

Rosario Street, second floor.

< Headquarters to Car 3 2. >
< Your wife says. . . >

< can you drop by the >
< dry-cleaners quickly. . . >

< and collect the bullfighter's >
< suit. Over. >

What happened?

I t's horrible. The most appalling
thing I've seen in all my life.

They've riddled hi m.
He looks like a colander.

My God!

What are you doing here?

I thought you'd be at
home ironing your uniform.

This man called me.
He wanted to talk to me.

What for?
-I don't know.

Superintendent!

We've found this.

This cop was proof that there
is corruption on the force.

I f you'd listened to me,
he wouldn't be dead by now.

Maybe you'd like to think
that it's all in my mind.

But here's the proof.

What makes you
think he was corrupt?

I doubt that this
is talcu m powder.

Never trust appearances.

This city just keeps
getting crazier.

Look at that stockbroker.

A ruined client shoved
a baseball bat up his behind. . .

and burst his guts.

I've been in this job
for 1 0 years, . . .

and there are still
things that surprise me.

He was homosexual .

How do you know?

Scalpel .

I need unofficial information .

What kind of trouble
are you in now?

Do you think the bullets that
killed Kruger could have been . . .

of the sa me calibre as the ones
used to murder the other two?

Do you have a hunch?

Bet it all on I mperioso.
Third race.

Thanks.

Do you want a drink?

A beer.

The bullets weren't
of the sa me calibre.

The guys in the alley
were killed with a pistol .

That guy was riddled with
bullets from a machine gun .

He's got more lead in
his body that a foundry.

Nevertheless. . .

Please,
I'd like a second opinion .

Come on, give it a break!

Nevertheless, what?
-The bullets didn't kill hi m.

He died from the fright.
Heart attack.

This guy's a clinical phenomenon .

He had more bits inside
hi m than Robocop.

He looked like the hardware
section of a department store.

I can't understand how
they let hi m into the force.

Before, the entrance tests
were very hard.

Now, it seems they let anyone in .

Those were different ti mes.

Hello, Marga .
The usual .

Morning.

Yes?

< Vivancos, it's Tino. >

< You were right. >

< Those cops didn't pass >
< the force's entrance tests. >

< I checked the files. >

< Some bigwig must >
< have used pull . >

Someone betrayed them.

Someone that is still alive.

Be careful .
They may come for me.

For God's sake, Vivancos,
you know this place isn't safe!

Take it easy, love!

I nspector Vivancos?

I t depends.

I've been asked to deliver you
this envelope.

Pozo!

I F YOU' RE I NTE RESTE D I N
TH E PHOTOS, M E ET M E TOD AY. . .

I N TH E CH U RCH OF SANT JO AN,
AT 8 O'CLOCK SHARP.

. . .it is through this flesh
in which you live. . .

that you have been saved.
You have redeemed the mission .

Therefore, . . .

. . .in the sa me way that you have
been called in this flesh, . . .

it is also in this flesh
that you will meet. . .

Are you Vivancos?
-I t depends.

My wife's brother-in-law's
sister-in-law. . .

is the cousin of the officer who
was killed. He was called Kruger.

He was the only relative
I had left.

He said to send you the photos if
anything should happen to hi m. . .

and to give you this
envelope personally.

More photographs?

No, it's a cassette.

I want you to find the
bastards that killed hi m!

Take it easy, man !
You're creasing my suit.

Do you know what's on the tape?
-No.

I've been deaf since birth,
but I can lip-read.

You've never heard the 3 tenors?

No.

Give thanks to the Lord.

How classy, Vivancos!

< Where'll we do it? >
< -Right here. >

< That way you'll be able to take >
< them from in front and behind. >

< I think this. . . >

This is too big for me.

Think of the money, Kruger.

The first ti me is terrible,
but after you'll start to like it.

You'll want more.

Tomasso's car will be at
the back entrance to the club.

They'll give you a sign
with the lights.

You grab the drugs and the cash .

How'll we do it?

I t's very easy, you just
have to act out an arrest.

Couldn't it be dangerous?

But nobody will hurt you .
I t's all arranged.

Relax, kid.
Relax and let me finish .

Take it easy, Kruger.
We've done it before.

Tomasso's men will start
a bit of a ruckus. . .

to make it convincing,
but they're with us.

< The buyers usually >
< run like the clappers. >

< You let them escape, >
< but without them suspecting. >

Thus Tomasso will be
able to keep his drugs. . .

and the buyers' money.

I n ex change, we get a part of it.

For you .

I t's a little advance.
This is just the beginning.

A bagatelle compared with
what you'll get afterwards.

Afterwards?

After what?

He wants to spread an epidemic.
We're going to help hi m.

After we'll have
to leave the country. . .

to avoid contagion .

How much will we get?

Enough for you to be able
to sell your uniforms. . .

to a fancy dress shop.

When?

On the Eve of Easter.

< A night that you won't forget >
< for years to come. >

< This tape will self-destruct >
< in 5 seconds. >

That's a good one!

Tino, grab a tape recorder,
and come into Pajarda's office.

I had a minor accident.

I've had to reconstruct the tape,
but the contents are clear.

Pozo is co-ordinating
a network of corrupt policemen .

< . . .at night. >

< Where'll we do it? >
< -Right here. >

< How'll we do it? >

< From behind, from the rear. >

< Couldn't it be dangerous? >

< We've done it before. >

< Take my milk! >

< Take it easy, Kruger. >

< The first ti me >
< it's terrible, . . . >

< but after, you'll >
< start to like it. >

< You'll want more. >

< Take it. >

< I think this. . . >

< This is too big for me. >

< I t won't hurt. >

< Relax, kid. >

< Relax and let me finish . >

< After you, guys. >

< From in front and behind. >

< When? >

On the Eve of Easter!
I n 4 days ti me!

Do you think I can continue
investigating?

Do you think you can get me
some more consistent proof?

Perhaps a picture?

Will this do you?

Well,
this doesn't prove anything bad.

What more do you want?

Another body with Pozo's
signature on its forehead?

An anthology of his fingerprints?

Those busts were a set-up!

They left the cops in the nip
and they did them, ex cept Pozo.

Pozo stinks to high heaven .

Let me investigate and
I'll find out what's happening.

Keep on investigating,
but you alone are responsible.

I want nothing to do with this. I f
you're caught, it's your problem.

You were right.

Those cops, apart from
being corrupt, were depraved.

I checked the the Ferrari,
guess who it belongs to.

Pozo.

I t's disgusting!
-Bingo.

I'll make sure he and Tomasso
end up rotting behind bars. . .

sharing bedbugs for elevenses.

How do you know Pozo
is working for Tomasso?

Didn't you listen to the tape?

ARIAS D E MOLITI ON

Here's your share, and
that of your late partners.

I don't like traitors,
but I have to admit. . .

that I need you .

Those guys made
a lot of mistakes.

They were spending too much .

I nternal affairs began
to get suspicious.

I had to kill them
for your safety.

Your goodness is touching.

I suppose you'll have paid your
condolences to the poor widow.

What's her na me?
Amanda?

Here's a thousand grand.

Don't you trust me?

I' m sorry.

What do I have to do?

I have brought you all here
tonight to show you something.

What's that?

T.A. F.

I've na med it after
the na me of my foundation :

''Tomasso
Annihilation Foundation'' .

The potential rate. . .

of victi ms from one drop of
this substance is forty or fifty.

That's not too severe.

Thousand.
40, 0 0 0 or 5 0, 0 0 0 people.

Just what does
that concoction do?

What can I not tolerate?

What do I find
particularly repugnant?

Seeing hair.

Who is the only one
allowed to flaunt it?

You .
-You . . .

You .

You .

Nevertheless, there is someone
who insists on ignoring my wishes.

With your help, we'll pour
that substance. . .

into the purification
plant at San José pier.

You will get us access. . .

to the premises.

I n 3 days ti me,
before dawn, . . .

there won't be a single
hair left in the city.

Darling!

Darling, . . .

where are you?
-The wardrobe.

I nto the wardrobe.
< Forza, ragazzi . >

Quickly, boys!

Wait!
I nto the wardrobe!

Darling, where are you?

< Andia mo. >

What fil m have you got?

''Apocalypse Now'' .
-I've already seen it 1 0 ti mes!

Is it any good?
-Yes, hilarious.

There's this guy weighing 2 0 0
kilos who i mitates Marlon Brando.

< Movierecord. . . >

Surprise.

Honey!

Guess what I' m thinking about?

I' m consu med by desire.

I can't control myself.

I' m your slave.

What were you doing?

The bed is all messed up.

Is there another man?

Silly boy.

I was thinking of you .

And this mess?

I was thinking about you messily.

My little flower.

How could I doubt you?

Soon . . .

You'll have everything you desire.

Will you buy me jewels?
-As many as you want.

And somewhere to keep them?

I'll buy a jewellery bo x with
incrustations with your na me on .

I was thinking
of something si mpler.

A common cardboard bo x in a
mansion in Marbella-sur-mère.

With hundreds of maids.

Manservants would be better.

Maids' bonnets give me eczema .

< Si, ancora ! >

< Qui, qui, qui, ancora . >

< No, no. Qui no. >
Yes!

Well, Pozo doesn't
seem to be such a faggot.

We're close, kid.
I t's all beginning to fit in .

Well, I don't understand anything.

One: Pozo stops us investigating
the death of the policemen .

Two: He stops us investigating
because he's co-ordinating. . .

a network of corruption .
Three: Pozo works for Tomasso.

Four: Pozo betrayed them.

Five: Pozo is still alive, and
still working for Tomasso.

Six: I n 2 days ti me they're
going to unleash an epidemic, . . .

but we don't know how or where.

Seven : Pozo has one small
weakness. Amanda .

Eight: We'll use Amanda .

Do you think she's involved
in her husband's death?

I'll have to find out.

How?

I' m due a date with her.

We have her!

Pozo is very good to me.

He consoles me
in ti mes of trouble, but. . .

I'd prefer to talk about
something else, art perhaps.

Do you like Kandinsky?
I have one in my bedroom.

Do you want to come
upstairs and see my Kandinsky?

Everything was delicious!

I'll just have a coffee, thanks!

That was incredible!

The most intense experience, . . .

more intense. . .

than when I was
trapped in that lift. . .

with the Russian Army Choir.

I t wasn't bad.

And it could have been
even more enjoyable. . .

if you didn't take
so many precautions.

Safe sex is
preferable these days.

What are you doing?

What kind of relationship
do you have with Pozo?

Are you jealous?

What do you know of your
ex-husband's off-duty activities?

I think he once
tried astral projection .

I think he was a crook.

He was in shit up to his neck.

He was dealing cocaine
and that's why they killed hi m.

That's the most
surprising revelation . . .

since I discovered that I wasn't
epileptic, but multi-orgasmic.

Pozo is as corrupt as he was.

He may even be
responsible for his death .

Pozo?

I mpossible!

And who knows if you helped hi m.

What are you insinuating?
How can you think. . .?

Does what has just happened
mean nothing to you?

I belong to the police force.

What has just happened
was forced upon me.

You're not going to like this.

I faked the last five too.

Sooner or later,
Pozo's going down .

You'll be accused of harbouring
a cri minal . Know what that means?

Several years behind bars,
without luxuries. Prison fashion .

Either that, or. . .

Or?

You can collaborate with us.

I'll do whatever you want,
but don't leave just yet. . .

Vivancos. . .

once more, . . .

and you'll discover
the forbidden pathways of sex.

Out there, my colleagues
are risking their lives.

23 6 cri mes are
committed every night.

3 5 percent are
violent cri mes.

The rest are cri mes
against property.

Only 60 percent
are solved by the police. . .

and barely 40 percent mean
prison for the delinquents.

The law doesn't punish
the guilty, but the weak.

Will you be back?

I f I' m not, I'll send you a
video of my best positions.

Yes?

Hello, darling.

No, no, this
afternoon is i mpossible.

Did you manage to get
anything out of that man-eater?

Everyone has a weak point.

And what's hers?

Her G-spot.

He's just taken the bait.
Let's go!

You're so sexy. . .

I feel like a coffee-pot
about to explode.

My husband
had lost his i magination .

< The little jobs you used to do >
< together for that bald guy. . . >

< kept hi m too busy. >

What little jobs?

Darling, he was
very sincere with me.

But. . .

you knew about. . .?

You haven't told anyone,
have you?

Did I tell anyone about
your latex prosthesis?

You know I'd do
anything to be with you .

< Tomorrow will be the last ti me. >
< After that, I' m all yours. >

I knew nothing.

She doesn't look suspicious.

At least not from the waist up.

The bald guy is crazy.

He wants to unleash
an epidemic on the world.

< He's going to leave >
< the whole population bald. >

God al mighty!

I n a few hours ti me, this city
will look like a melon patch .

We're going to do it tonight, . . .

< in the port, by the freight >
< platform with the water plant. >

< Enough ! >
-Shit!

Shut up!
The house is full of cops.

Bitch !
So, you were cheating on me!

They're not interested in her.
They're interested in you, idiot!

Just who do you think you are,
treating me like this?

Call me The Tigress.

You're a fool ! There are
microphones everywhere.

They were trying to get
information out of you .

< They're taping you, bigmouth . >

They're on to us. Fuck!

Come on, this way!

This way, bitch !

< Ma guarda questa . . . >

Shut up! Get up, you clown !

Throw your guns on the floor!
Come on !

The tape!

Now!

Give it to her.

Can't you see she's very nervous,
for fuck's sake?

I t's not what it seems. . .

This is disgraceful !

Shut your trap, wi mp!

Do you think I' m going
to leave witnesses?

Come on, let's go!

Let's go!

Vivancos, got you !

What are you doing snooping around
your boss's office?

That madman is going
to unleash a plague.

Pozo?

Tomasso.

Tomasso?
Who's Tomasso?

A friend of Pozo.

They're probably going to put
their substance into a pipeline. . .

to propagate the epidemic.

They're going to do it tonight,
at an unspecified pier. . .

in an i mprecise port at some
undefined point on the coast.

We can rule out Nebraska?

Yes?

I t's for you .

Yes?

< Amanda here. >
< I want to see you . >

You should control your body.
I t's Amanda .

< I know how they plan to do it. >
< I'll wait for you in 2 0 minutes. >

< My house isn't safe. >
< I' m in Carretas Street. >

Galindo Apartments.
Second floor, door D.

< I'll be waiting for you >
< in my favourite position . . . >

She's tied up!

< I've brought the black whip. . . >

. . .in case we have ti me to kill .
< -The one with the 7 tails? >

Of course.

I suspect it's a trap.
Amanda threw that whip away.

She put it in the washing machine
and it ca me out all frayed.

She may have used
a cycle that was too hot.

I t happened to me once. . .

with a leather girth
jockstrap with rollers.

< Darling, hurry up. >
< I' m on fire. >

I wouldn't want the heat
to ruin my make-up.

< Ciao. >
-I'll be right there.

This is Tomasso's doing.

Da mn . I'll make hi m sing like
a comanche beside a bonfire.

I'll need a couple
of men to rescue Amanda .

He'll come.

He always comes when
I mention the black whip.

How can you live
in a hovel like this?

These are subsidised flats. . .

for members of
the assassin's syndicate.

Are you really an assassin?

Are you going to kill me?

Of course, but first
I'll allow you the privilege. . .

of witnessing the end of a myth .

Before he removes his
finger from the doorbell . . .

the only thing left of hi m
will be a stinking memory.

D E BT COLLECTOR

Who is it?

Police!

Get lost! These flats belong
to the assassins' syndicate.

We don't allow
the police to enter.

Vivancos!

Oh, my!

I t's a small world!

I' m sorry.

I think that
with all the hurrying, . . .

I forgot to put on my underwear.

Wouldn't you like to share
the last few moments. . .

of a condemned woman's life?

You've put your head
into the lion's mouth .

I f you don't get lost,
you'll be leaving here feet first.

Is that the window of
the apartment next door?

And when I' m finished with you, . . .

I' m going to use your balls
as maracas, you big bastard.

Don't move!

What are you doing? Leave that!

Don't ruin my little chair!

I need something
to use as a hook.

What are you looking at?

Have you ever
worn studded shorts. . .

with your leather waistcoat?

I f you don't shut up,
I'll tighten the rope. . .

until your wrists bleed.

Please. . .

I think I' m going to change
my mind about who to kill first.

You wouldn't change the idea
of killing me for giving me. . .

a few smacks?

TH E RUSSIAN ARMY CHO I R

I don't want you to think
I' m a loose woman .

I t's just that assassins
ex cite me.

This job must be very hard.

So much ti me alone,
fleeing from the law. . .

Haven't you ever felt the need. . .

to share your life with someone?

The assassins' syndicate doesn't
allow us to start a fa mily.

I t could ruin our i mage.

Anyway, life is full of
incomprehensible things.

You've just wasted
your last chance.

I' m not going to
listen to you anymore.

Don't think so much,
or your head'll start smoking.

Drop the gun .

Are you alright?
Untie her and take her home.

I thought I'd never see you again .

While I was in this chair,
I was thinking of you and me.

Something happened to me. . .

I know I can change and
I want you to be my redeemer.

You're very horny.

I t always happens
when I' m tied up.

What was that?

Call a small a mbulance. There's
an injured woman down there.

Will I see you tomorrow?

A cop never knows if there's
going to be a tomorrow.

You, Tutankha mun . . .

Tell me where's the party at if
you don't wanna pee sitting down .

There they are.

Aren't you going to wear a jacket?

I drink my coffee black and when I
shag someone, I don't wear condom.

I f I get shot, I wanna feel
the pain of the wound.

You're a hard man .

I' m a guy who makes an i mpact.

Are you alright?

Stay there.
-No, I' m going with you .

Those sons of bitches
would fry you without blinking.

With your experience,
I'd be shitting myself.

I' m ready.

So I see!

A boy with guts.

Right then . Let's go!

Cover me.

Don't shoot unless
I do so first, understood?

Understood.
-Understood?

I won't shoot
unless you do so first.

We've been informed of
an H 2O at the purifying plant.

Are they policemen?

They're Salesians.
They've come to bless the water.

And who are you?

Superintendent Pozo.

Superintendent Pozo!

Christ!

This pier has a strange echo.

I t's not an echo, Superintendent.
Get out and throw down your gun .

But, what's going on?

Listen, drop that gun !

Get lost unless you want
to appear on tomorrow's. . .

two o'clock news bulletin
stuck inside a plastic bag.

Tell your men to get out
of the car. Carefully.

There are policemen spread
out all over the pier. . .

waiting for me to shoot.

Vivancos, for Christ's sake, . . .

shoot, da mn you .

Shoot, Vivancos.

Leave your guns on the ground.

What the hell is going on here?
Pozo, arrest that idiot!

Throw down your gun or I'll
shoot you in the head and. . .

when the pathologist takes the wig
off, you'll look like a piggybank.

Do you think you're
going to lock me up?

They don't pay me to think
but to clean up the scu m.

What are you doing?

I' m off, stupid!

The budget doesn't
cover a helicopter chase!

I' m paying for this myself!

Don't move!

This is war!
-You're under arrest, Tomasso!

I t's the beginning of the end!
-You have the right to remain . . .

You're going to get it! I n a few
seconds, you'll all be bald!

Anything you say can
be used against you !

Come down from there, Tomasso!

Bald!

You'll have some very
nasty things to answer for.

Your behaviour is unacceptable, . . .

both for our collective
and for the police force.

< Tell Pajarda to drop by HQ. >
< We've arrested some rent boys. >

Vivancos is with Tomasso
in the purifying plant.

We should help hi m.

Yes, yes.

Of course.

Ex cuse me.

Could you hang on to this?

Delighted.

And how's yours hanging, son?

Never mind. Why don't
we organise a commando?

García ! Tell my 3 best men
to get over here on the double!

Let's go!

Mind the floor, for fuck's sake.
Can't you see I' m cleaning?

Have you seen a bald man?
-A vulgar guy, . . .

with bad manners
and a constipated expression?

Exactly.

You'll find hi m in Verdi Street.

He's my husband.
Have no mercy on hi m.

Don't be stupid!
The plant is surrounded.

You're looking at 3 0 years in
a maxi mu m security prison, . . .

eating rubbish
with a load of guys. . .

who'll want to get
affectionate with you !

Even if you are bald!

I t's really hard
to get some vaseline.

I nspector, . . .

These are the best men
from the elite corps.

What do you think, son?

Vivancos is in danger.

Hasn't anybody ever told you
you've got beautiful eyes?

Aren't you going
to do anything?

Yes, of course.

You, you and you,
accompany me!

< The look in your eyes >
< drives me crazy. . . >

< drives me crazy. . . >

< when you stare at me >
< so gently. . . >

< so gently. . . >

< I t must be your way. . . >

< or the way you look. . . >

< into my feelings. . . >

I f you're in there, shoot once!
I f you're not, shoot twice!

You can't fool me!

< Why, why, why. . . >

< the look in your eyes >
< drives me crazy? >

< Drives me crazy? >

< When you stare at me >
< so gently. . . >

< So gently. . . >

This song is included
on the fil m's soundtrack.

< I t must be your way. . . >

< or the way you look. . . >

< into my feelings. >

Freeze!

Leave that alone!

Get away from there!

I've got some news for you .

Bad news and very bad news.

The bad news is if you don't drop
your gun, I'll drop this ball . . .

and its green liquid will
spread through the water.

And the very bad news is that
if I do it, 3 million people. . .

will wake up bald for
the rest of their lives!

What do you think?

Put the gun on the floor.

You win again, Tomasso.

And push it towards my feet!

I know what you're thinking:
'' Did he fire 6 shots or only 5?''

To tell you the truth,
I've kinda lost track myself, . . .

but being as
this is a 44 Magnu m, . . .

capable of blowing
your head clean off, . . .

I wouldn't take a
chance if I were you .

Vivancos!

I need to know!

Bloody hell !
There was one left. . .

< Rosebud. . . >

< Headquarters to all units. >
< Barcelona are still losing 6-0 . >

< Why the look in your eyes >
< drives me crazy? >

< Drives me crazy? >

< When you stare at me >
< so gently. . . >

< so gently. . . >

< I t must be your way >
< or the way you look. . . >

< into my feelings. >

Vivancos!

Vivancos!

No!

Yes!

I've come to say goodbye.

Don't beg me to stay.

Get up.

Yes, I know I said before
that I would stay with you .

I said a lot of things before.

I said I had to think
for the two of us. . .

and that's what I've done.

I' m getting on that coach
and I' m leaving with them, . . .

I belong with them.

TH E RUSSIAN ARMY CHO I R

They need me.

I' m a part of their
work and their life.

When I' m with them,
they sing like angels. . .

and they don't drink so much .

Do you have any idea what
would happen if I stayed?

I could never bear to watch
you risk your life everyday. . .

while I gave myself
to other men . . .

to satisfy
that little congenital vice.

I f I don't get on that coach,
I'll regret it.

Maybe not now, nor tomorrow, . . .

nor next Thursday, nor the
Saturday after next, but. . .

later,
and for the rest of my life.

Goodbye, Vivancos.
-Goodbye!

That's all?

You should now
there are some men . . .

who don't end every
sentence with a proposition .

< How classy, Vivancos! >

We dedicate this fra me, today 1st
May, to all the workers.

Action !

Cut.
Where the hell are we?

Bloody hell .

I've been do. . .

I've been dro. . .

I've been doing the rounds
with you for over 2 years.

Cut.

I've been doing the rounds
with you for 2 years. . .

and I' m fed up of. . .
Fuck!

I've been doing the rounds
with you for 2 years. . .

and I' m fed up. . .

You reduced hi m to ashes,
hi m and half the brigade, da mn it!

Da mn it, brigade.
Bri-ga-de, bollocks.

You've made a mistake!

Why?

My wife's sister-in-law's
father-in-law. . .

No, my wife's brother-in-law.

My wife's brother-in-law. . .
Not the brother-in-law.

Sorry.
Wife's brother-in-law, man .

Door B.

I forgot my line.

What did he do in his spare
ti me, . . . Fuck!

We'll do the whole speech .

Find out who his friends were.

Fuck! Find out who
his friends were!

Find out who his friends were!
-Okay.

Da mn it, find out!
-I swear to. . . !

. . .did in his spare ti me, ask. . .
-if he painted. . .

Sorry.
I t's just. . .

Find out what his
friends were like. . .

where. . .
Fuck!

. . .where he fell in love.

Ask what he did in his spare ti me.
Da mn ! All fucking wrong!

Ask. . .
-I f he painted the smile. . .

Fuck it all !

Sorry. There's been a problem,
hasn't there?

I must confess. . .
I've forgotten the text.

I want you to. . .
I've forgotten the text.

Miserable body. . .

I've forgotten the text.

I t's nobody's fault.

That was too forceful . . .

I t would have been better
if that ''cup'' . . .

I said ''Cup'' .

What?

An infinity? With no warning?
What is this?

How does it begin?

I got up. . .
Shit! I didn't get up.

There was an Opel
with its lights off.

An Audi .
-Shit! Sorry.

There was an Opel
with its lights off.

Audi .

There was an Opel . . .
Shit, sorry!

There was an Opel . . .
Fuck!

A group of bald men
got out of the Opel .

They were selling coke.
-The Audi .

Did I say Opel?
-Cut!

That wasn't bad.

And it could have been . . .
-Cut!

I t's skipped 2 shags!

I t could have been
even more enjoyable. . .

Fuck, I' m suffocating!

Fuck, man, throw me a bucket. . . !

Cut!

. . .for his death .

Sorry.

Uncover the rottenness
that assu mes us.

Bloody hell !

That shakes us.

Uncover the rottenness
that assu mes us.

Fucking hell !

Dear friends, I dedicate
this shot to those of you . . .

who have devoted your lives to the
cinema, as I have, . . .

I' m risking mine
at this very moment.

Do you wanna meet hi m?

Hold it!

Attack!

Don't move!

I can't do it!

Keep still, for fuck's sake!

Cut!

Stop this!

I've seen it 1 0 ti mes.

Wait, I' m sitting here.
-Yeah?

I dedicate this shot to
Albert and all his fa mily.

To this great director who
does so much for the actors. . .

and for the Stanislavski method.

With all my love.

< Car 2 1 to headquarters. >

< Tell . . . >

< Car 2 1 to. . . >

< People talk. >
< They say it on the radio. >

< The virus threatens >
< to leave them all bald. >

< People, what people, >
< hide it and fear it. >

< I' m sure we won't live >
< through next year. >

< Vivancos, wake up. >

< Lying, hung over, >
< on a dirty mattress. >

< Surrounded by cigarette butts, >
< moths, yellow blankets. >

< Stand up and walk. >
< -And point your gun . >

< Come on, babe, discover. Don't >
< get bored. Get hooked on his gun . >

< The gun on the table, >
< the bald patches on the head, . . . >

< the sharpened teeth, >
< his mischievous look. >