Death of a Ladies' Man (2020) - full transcript

♪ Frankie Lane ♪

♪ He was singing Jezebel ♪

♪ I pinned an Iron Cross ♪

♪ To my lapel ♪

♪ I walked up to the tallest ♪

♪ And the blondest girl ♪

♪ I said,
"Look, you don't know me now ♪

♪ But very soon you will ♪

♪ So, won't you let me see?" ♪

♪ I said,
"Won't you let me see" ♪

♪ I said,
"Won't you let me see ♪



♪ Your naked body?" ♪

Sweet Jesus.

You asked me to get
you back in 15 minutes,

I got you back in 15 minutes.

Now, it's your turn.
Go find your wallet,

you'll make your flight
and I'll make my hundred.

Keep the motor running.

♪ I know you're hungry ♪

♪ I can hear it in your voice ♪

♪ And there are
many parts of me ♪

♪ To touch,
you have your choice ♪

♪ Ah, but no you cannot see ♪

♪ She said,
"no, you cannot see" ♪

♪ She said,
"No, you cannot see ♪



♪ My naked body" ♪

Party's over, motherfuckers.

Jesus Christ!

- Get the fuck out.
- Just get out, Jack.

- Are you sure?
- Yes!

- Yeah, she is sure.
- Jack, get out!

Stop it both of you! Stop it!
Just get out Jack, go.

Take your fucking
clothes with you.

Lovely morning,
and fuck you, old man!

- Get the fuck out.
- Fuck you, old man.

Fuck you.

Jesus fucking Christ.

I mean...

What can you say?

Linda, I mean, what can
a person say about this?

I know, I'm sorry.

- But it's not just me.
- What?

Things haven't been good,
and you haven't been good,

for a long time,
you have not been good.

Just listen to yourself.
"I haven't been good."

In our bed, Linda. In our bed.

You've done it here,
what, how many times?

With you, it's just
a question of how many.

How many woman have
you fucked in our bed?

Well, we both know it's true.

I know it's true,
and you know it's true.

Yo! Let's go, buddy!

I don't have time for this.

- Where's my wallet?
- What?

Where's my fucking wallet?

Hurry up!

It's on the dresser.

Okay.

I want a divorce.

Oh, yeah? Well, today's
your lucky day, kid,

you're gonna get one.

I'm gonna be back later tonight,
and I want you gone.

Well, don't worry about that

'cause I can't wait
to fucking leave!

What the hell, man?

There's like, a naked guy comes
running out,

then you took forever.
What the hell?

Just get me out of here.

Okay, but just so you
know the $100 is still mine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, got it.

♪ All my faith to see ♪

Alright, let's do this.

♪ Her naked body ♪

♪ Naked body ♪

Hey, Dad, sorry I'm late.

My favourite son.

And there it is.
The joke that never gets old.

Man, you are totally wasted.

Mm-hm. and I'm a little
bit drunk as well.

I got something to tell you,
Layton.

Marriage is over.

Linda and I
are getting a divorce.

Jesus, Dad... I'm sorry.

But no big surprise,
and probably for the best.

Is that it?

Ten whole seconds of sympathy
for dear old Dad,

whose heart hanging out of
his chest like a bag of trash?

I am sympathetic Dad.
Just not very surprised.

Yeah, you know what?
Neither am I, really.

Yeah.

So, to what do I owe
the honour of being invited

to beautiful downtown Hamilton
on a Tuesday afternoon?

Well, I'm just going
to come out and say it.

I may be in love,
and I'm definitely gay.

Wow. Wow.

I never expected that.

Does your mother know?

Told her last week.

Hm, and your sister?

Yeah, of course.

You're cool with this, right?

Yeah.
Yeah, I'm totally cool with it.

You know, it's just
a bit of a change for me.

You're still my little boy.
My darling little boy

that I used to carry on
my shoulders when you were

no bigger than a peanut.

Yeah.

Yeah.

To maybe being in love
to definitely gay, I mean...

Ah, Jesus.

Okay.

I love you, man.

Thanks, Dad. I love you, too.

Okay. Okay, Dad. That's great.

Yeah, it's great
to maybe be in love,

to be definitely gay.

Okay.

What do you keep looking at?

Nothing. Nothing.

And, you know,
that's something that Linda

never really understood.

How good it is
to be really in love.

Because that's all we have in
the end, you know?

Love.

The heart wants
what the heart wants.

Well, we really covered a lot
for a little father-son chat,

but I do have to eat,
game day and all.

So, what do you feel like?

The steaks here are really good.

Hey, you see number 23?
That's my boy.

My beautiful boy.

Ladies and gentlemen,
please give a big

Hamilton Factories welcome
to Martha Richards.

And please rise,
remove your hats

for the singing
of our national anthem.

♪ Like a bird ♪

♪ On the wire ♪

♪ Like a drunk in ♪

♪ A midnight choir ♪

♪ I have tried ♪

♪ In my way ♪

♪ To be free ♪

What the hell?

♪ Like a worm ♪

♪ On a hook ♪

♪ Like a knight from some ♪

♪ Old-fashioned book ♪

♪ I have saved ♪

♪ All my ribbons ♪

♪ For thee ♪

♪ If I ♪

♪ If I have been unkind ♪

♪ I hope that you ♪

♪ can just let it go by ♪

♪ If I ♪

♪ If I have been untrue ♪

♪ I hope you know ♪

♪ It was never to you ♪

♪ Oh, like a baby ♪

♪ Stillborn ♪

♪ Like a beast ♪

♪ With his horn ♪

♪ I have torn ♪

♪ Everyone ♪

♪ Who reached out for me ♪

♪ But I swear ♪

♪ By this song ♪

♪ And by all that
I have done wrong ♪

♪ I will make it all ♪

♪ Up to thee ♪

♪ I saw a beggar leaning ♪

♪ On his wooden crutch. ♪

Honey, I'm home.

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

Didn't I tell you when
I got home I wanted you gone?

And now, of course,
here you are smoking

fucking cigarette
smoking in my house,

in my fucking house,
when you know fucking well

that I hate the smell
of fucking cigarette smoke.

Now that's some fine language

for a college professor
to be using.

What the...?

Dad?

Hello, Sam.

What are you doing here?

Well, I was having
a quiet drink and a smoke?

Should I put it out?

No, no, go on. Enjoy the cancer.
Can't hurt you now.

You're still dead, aren't you?

Yes, I am still dead,

and no it can't.

Nice looking place you got here.

Thanks.

You, on the other hand,
you don't look so good.

I know, I know, I know.

Been going through
kind of a rough patch.

Such is life.

Tell me about it.

Just wait till you
shuffle off this mortal coil.

Funny you should
mention old Hamlet.

He was visited by the ghost
of his dead father as well.

Or was he?

Right.

Aye, there's the rub.

You're either a ghost,

or I'm even more fucked
than previously believed.

Does seem that way,
but there's nothing yet broken

that can't be fixed.

Now, I hear you've been having
a little marital trouble.

Oh, yeah.

She met somebody
she prefers fucking,

or maybe was just sick of my
bullshit, if I'm being honest.

You have to be honest
with ghosts, don't you?

Probably.

She probably was
sick of your bullshit,

probably too young
for you as well.

Thanks, Dad.

You know, I never saw a man
go with so many women.

Is that a mental thing,
like some with the hand-washing?

I don't know, Dad, maybe.

And you with all those
pretty wives waiting at home.

Yep.

There is definitely something
wrong with you, son.

That's very
perceptive of you, Dad.

I mean, really perceptive.

And now that we're talking,
you know, man to man,

honestly about women...

I want to ask you something.

Why...

Why did our mother leave us?

And why did she leave you?

That is the question.

It's a very good question.

Yeah? And what's the answer?

I don't know.

What do you mean
you don't fucking know?

You're a ghost.

You're an all-knowing,
supernatural... how can you...

Ghosts know some things,
and they don't know others.

It's the same as people.

What's the point of being
a ghost, if you don't things?

Hamlet's father came back,
he knew loads of things.

You don't know anything
worth two shits.

Do you know something?
You're a terrible ghost.

A fucking awful, terrible,
lame, terrible fucking ghost.

Easy.

Alright.

Alright.
Let's get you to bed.

I'm not tired.

I know, love.
Let's get to bed.

Does anybody have a breath mint?

I do sir.

Laura, yeah.

Oh, Certs.

I haven't seen
these for a long time.

My mom loves them.

Oh, of course she does,

That's because they're
two, two, two mints in one.

Sure sir, whatever you say.

What about that as poetry?

"Two, two,
two mints in one."

Hmm?

Anybody?

Just for the sheer
poetry of it. No?

What about this one?

"I will arise and go now,

"for always night and day

"I hear lake water lapping with
low sounds by the shore;

"While I stand upon the roadway,
or on the pavements grey,

"oh, I hear it in the
deep heart's core."

Where... where was I?

Frank Scott's politics, sir.

Frank Scott's politics.

I put it to you

that it is very difficult to
understand Scott's politics

without first considering
The Great Depression,

and the huge impact that that
had on his generation,

to witness a whole world
thrown to the dogs

by the forces of
global capitalism.

Anybody have a comment on that?

Draw parallels?

Hold forth? Anybody?

What about you with
the phone there, Mr. Clark?

Oh, sorry.

I would like
to remind management

that the drinks are watered,
the hat-check girl has syphilis,

and the band is composed

of former SS monsters.

However, since it is New Year's
Eve and I have lip cancer,

I will place my
paper hat on my concussion...

and dance.

That was very impressive,
everyone,

but, um, specifically,

how does Leonard Cohen's

"The Music Crept By Us"
refer to Frank Scott's politics?

Excuse me, Professor O'Shea?

You just recited
"The Music Crept By Us".

What does that have to do with
Scott being a dirty commie rat?

I don't understand, sir.

I mean, all I said was that

I don't know much about
The Big Depression, so...

That's enough...
enough poetry for today.

And the players on the ice,

they were like...
ice-skating angels.

I saw an angel once...

but I was on acid.

Yeah, but I
wasn't on acid.

Yeah.

Bonsoir.

Merci.

Yeah, but to my point, you know,

maybe these are flashbacks.

No, but they
weren't flashbacks.

It was more like a dream.

Well... then we're back
to my original hypothesis.

Yeah, which is?

That you're going
batshit crazy, old friend.

Or crazier, depending
on one's perspective.

But seriously, though,
tomorrow, first thing,

you go see a doctor, okay?
Because I'm sure

that there's some kind of
obvious explanation, you know?

Like... I don't know...

chewing Vicodin and
drinking hard liquor

for the last 48 hours,

and now, you're slipping in
and out of some kind of trippy,

booze-fueled psychosis.

Yeah, yeah.
You could be right about that.

Speaking of, maybe you
should take a little break.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

First thing tomorrow.
Donny, can I get another one?

Large. Thanks.

Coming right up, Professor.

Oh. Sorry.

Oh, little bit early for
Halloween, isn't it?

Why don't I buy you a drink?

You know, I don't want you to
take this personally...

I've never liked Halloween.

Do you like Christmas?
I love Christmas.

Two cannibals were
eating a clown.

One say to the other,

"Does this taste
funny to you?"

Do you get it?
'Cause it's a clown.

"Does this taste
funny to you?"

Oh, Jesus,
you're a hard crowd, Frank.

♪ Me and my wife are parted

♪ Gonna take a
little stroll uptown ♪

♪ Irene, goodnight ♪

♪ Irene...

♪ Goodnight ♪

♪ Irene ♪

♪ Goodnight,
Irene, goodnight ♪

Any changes is vision,
speech or hearing?

Aside from the hallucinations.

Maybe.

Look at the light.

Any changes in mood,
personality,

or ability to concentrate?

Well, I broke up
with my wife on Tuesday,

so I've been feeling
a little bit low.

Oh, sorry to hear that.

Problems with memory?

Um...
What was the question again?

That was a little joke.

That was a little funny.

And finally, problems
balancing or walking?

No, only when I'm really drunk.

And are you really
drunk very often?

Um, lately, yeah.

Which means?

Oh, for the last
few days and nights,

I've been absolutely plastered,

and a healthy consumption
of alcohol for, oh...

about 40 years.

How many drinks a day?

Five? Seven? 13?

For the last 40 years?

Mm-hmm.

And for the last few days?

23. 39.

Per day?

Yep.

Well congratulations, Samuel,

you're lucky to be alive.

That's what
they keep telling me.

And for once,
they are correct.

Well, you don't
have all of the symptoms

associated with
cancerous brain tumors.

And most of the
symptoms you do have -

dead father
and singing students aside -

can be explained
by your alcoholism.

Yeah, but I'm not
an alcoholic.

Okay, fine. So, you've been
drinking to excess

your entire adult life,
but you're not an alcoholic.

Good. Well, that's settled.

Now, would you care to
join me for a drink?

No. I would not.

Samuel, do you have
anyone you can talk to

about what's happening
with you?

Apparently not.
Why don't you call me Sam?

No. I meant
close friends, family.

Loads. Can barely
swing a dead cat.

Good. So, talk to them

and I'll see you again on the
eighth for our follow up,

and we can go over
the MRI results.

It's a date.

Goodbye, Sam.

Fuck!

Ce n'est pas assez blanc.

It's still not
fucking white enough.

Sorry about that, Josée.

You look
white enough to me, kid.

Papa, what are you doing here?

I just came to see
my favourite daughter.

Perfect.
You can take me to lunch,

tell me all about
your life going to shit.

Sounds lovely.

Alex, I'm taking lunch with my
father, and when I get back,

you need to figure out
the motherfucking, cocksucking,

not fucking white
enough fucking problem!

Okay, Josée.

Josée, you don't need to
use that kind of language.

It's lazy.

No, Papa, it's not lazy,
it's these fucking assholes

that I'm working with
that are lazy. Huh?

Ahh, okay.
Do you want to go like that

or should we change?

Just give me
five minutes, okay?

Okay.

Did you like it?

No. I thought it was terrible.

Shut up.

You're the one who's terrible.

No, I liked it, I did...
what I saw of it.

It's about the horror
of marriage.

Yeah, I picked up
on that subtle thread.

Mother says you caught
Linda with another man.

What?
Your mother knows?

Of course she knows.

God, I specifically told
Layton not to say anything.

I'm surprised you remember
anything you said to Layton.

Is there no respect
for frailty in this family?

No respect for personal
confidence whatsoever for...

- Bienvenue.
- Oh, Jesus Christ almighty!

Est-ce que tout va bien?

Yeah, you just gave me
a surprise, that's all.

Not to worry. Come this way.

Are you sure you're okay?

Yeah, everything's fine.

So, what else did she say?

She laughed.

She laughed?

Your server will
be here soon.

Can I get you a drink?

Um...
Just water.

A glass
of white wine, please.

So, what else did she say?

That was pretty much it.

She told me you caught
Linda with another man,

that you were getting another
divorce, and then she laughed.

But she did laugh a lot,

and for a long time,
so you know she cares.

Oh, of course.

Do you ever
think about your life?

What you've done,
what you haven't done,

the kind of man
that you wanted to be?

Um, no.

But then again,
I'm an 18-year-old woman, so...

Yeah, of course.

Was I a good father?

I mean, I know...
I know I had shortcomings,

but the big picture?

Well, you could
have been around more,

a lot more,
especially after the divorce.

Not for me.
I'm more like you -

I can take it.
But for Layton.

He's always been
such a fucking pussy.

Oh, God, do you have to talk
about your brother like that?

The language that comes out
of your mouth sometimes...

I blame your mother.

She always swore
like a fucking sailor.

Well, she blames you.

Yeah.

So, you're even.

Now, is there anything else
you need to tell me?

No, just another
d-i-v-o-r-c-e...

Et voila.

- Thank you.
- Avec plaisir.

No wine? No whisky?

What's the occasion?

I-I just thought
I'd cut down a bit.

It's not a terrible idea.

Yeah.

So, what about you?
You have any other news?

Not much.
I have a new boyfriend.

- Oh.
- Yep.

God, everybody's
got boyfriends -

Layton, Linda...

Linda...

how could she do this to me?

I don't know, Dad.

Maybe because she's
a fucking idiot. Hmm?

Yeah.

Maybe. Yeah.

So, what we are looking at is an
Astrocytoma tumour, Grade 4.

It's a glioblastoma multiforme,
that is covering

and exerting pressure
on both the frontal

and the temporal lobes.

Hmm. Is it...

is that what's causing
the hallucinations?

I don't know, Sam.

I can do more tests
and try to find out,

But what I do know,
now, for sure, is that...

this is one of the largest
tumours I've ever seen,

and it's growing on
the parts of your brain

responsible for thought,
reasoning, behaviour,

memory, hearing,

vision, and emotion.

Hm. Well, that's a relief.

I hardly ever
use any of that stuff.

So...
So, what's the solution?

It's way too close
to the brain to operate.

If we had caught it earlier...

But... what is
the solution, Doctor?

I won't lie to you, Sam -

this tumour is only going to get
bigger, and bigger,

then, most probably, you...

well, you're going to die.

Oh.

When?

A couple months,
maybe a year,

but not much
longer than that.

So... there's no... hope?

Well, radiation therapy could
possibly give you more time.

But in the best cases, the
long-term survival rates

for that type of cancer
is about three percent.

And you're not one
of the best cases.

Oh.

Well, well, well,
look what the cat's dragging in.

Happy thanksgiving.

Happy thanksgiving to you.

Where's the lovely Linda?

Working on her abs?

No, she's working at
somebody else's abs.

Oh...
Oh, oh, sorry.

Oh, come here,
you stupid man.

Sorry.

I'm okay.

Yeah?

I'm okay.

Come on in.

Hey, guys.

- Hey.
- Look who's here.

Hey.

What the fuck
happened to you?

Ah, you know,
just part of the game.

Should I be worried about you?

No, you should be worried
about the other guy,

'cause I knocked that
little bitch out cold.

Hey. Oh.

Papa, this is Chad.

And Chad, this is my dad,
who teaches poetry.

Get it, guys?

Yeah, it's hilarious.
Nice to meet you, Chad.

Thanks.

Can you get me a large,
man-sized whiskey, please?

I thought you were
taking a break.

Well, in the words of
the immortal bard,

"That was then, this is now."

It's your funeral.

Sure is.
Yep, it sure is.

Good old S.E. Hinton.

Yeah.

Yeah, I always had
a soft spot for her.

Me, too.

I love The Outsiders,
Rumble Fish.

I mean,
I even think Tex is good.

Hmm. Book or movie?

Movies are great,
don't get me wrong,

especially Rumble Fish.

But I'm more a book man myself.

Hmm. Book man.

Yes, sir.

I'm studying at McGill, English.

I'm actually gonna be taking
your class next semester.

Listen, she's invited you
to Thanksgiving dinner.

Don't give me the bullshit.

No, sir.

I'm really interested in
Canadian poetry, yeah, honest.

I want to be a writer one day.

Oh, God. Just when things
seem to be going so well...

I'm serious.
It's all I ever wanted to do.

Hmm.

And here we are -
one man-sized whiskey, full.

A woman's work
is never done.

Death to the patriarchy.

Death to the patriarchy.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

So, they barricaded
themselves into my office

and vowed not to leave.

The director wanted me to call
the police, but I said, "No."

I ordered them pizza.

I told the security guards
to keep an eye on them,

and we all went home
for the weekend.

Monday morning, they were gone.

They left the office spotless,

except one of them had left the
a massive shit in my bathroom.

I mean, that's it,
that's the only protest.

And that's what you get for
being dean at a law school.

So, what were your friends
protesting this time?

Big changes on Facebook?

Sadly, we can't all be cogs

in the neo-liberal
capitalist war machine!

I play hockey.
So, what does that have to do

with neo-liberal whatever?

Bread and circuses,
dear brother.

They call the tune,
and you dance on their ice,

like a pretty
little slut puppet.

Okay, you be careful, okay?

No, you be careful, asshole.

There's a fucking war going on.

Enough! Jesus.

Can I ask you something,
Jonathan?

Have you ever
come across a patient

who suddenly starts to
hallucinate things

that you might see in a movie?

Like a lion in a living room,
that sort of thing.

I read a case, a man,

victim of a vicious attack,

he woke from a coma,
suddenly able to solve

the most complicated
mathematical questions.

He was a driving instructor,

had a high school education.

But now, he sees a world of
mathematics everywhere.

The human mind is a strange,

wonderful, terrible thing.

It sure is.

Excuse me for a second.

When is your next game?

Sunday.

Okay.

I could do with one of those.

Jesus!

You nearly gave
me a heart attack.

Sorry.

Now, would that have been ironic
or just a coincidence,

in your professor opinion?

I don't know, Dad.
Maybe just bad luck.

Grand.
How 'bout that drink?

You're a ghost,
why would you want a drink?

Maybe I'm thirsty.

Hmm. Ask a stupid question...

Here you go.

Well, seems like I'm gonna die.

Yeah, heard about that.

From your bony friend
in the next room?

Word is out on the street.

What's it like?

It's like any other street,
just a bit more ghostly.

Dying. What's dying like?

What's sex like?

Or being in love?
Or the snow falling?

I don't remember you
being so poetic or so cagey.

Well, the kid questions -

the moon is made of cheese,

storks bring babies -
it's not so tough.

And what about Mom?

How can you not know
why Mom left you?

I mean, what kind of a man
doesn't know that?

It's tricky, son,

to know what's in
another person's heart.

Drinking alone,
you know what they say?

Yep. I know,
I've got a problem.

I'm sure it's nothing
you can't handle.

But if you need any help with
it, Samuel, I do know people.

I'll be okay,
but thanks.

Good. Okay.

Well, I also wanted
to tell you, um,

we're going to make an
announcement before dessert,

Jonathan has asked me
to marry him,

and I said yes.

God...

I just wanted to tell you.

Oh. Oh, that's...

That's...
That's great news.

I'm really happy for you.

Thank you.

And I always thought you looked
really, really sexy in white.

Okay.

- Really.
- Yeah.

What the fuck?
You must be fucking kidding me.

Just in case you're not...

Oh!

Grow the fuck up.

You really blew it
when you let that one go.

Shut the fuck up, Dad.

Hey, Mr. O'Shea.

Fuck off.

Hey, Mr. O'Shea,
it's me, it's Chad.

Chad, Josée's boyfriend
from Thanksgiving.

Oh, Chad!

Yeah.

It's you!
Oh, it's good to see you, man.

Oh! She's not here, is she?

No, she's at home.

I lost everything.

So, don't you
go down that path.

No, don't worry, okay?
I love her.

I'll do the
right thing, I promise.

This'll fix you
right up, huh?

So, it's only after
he gets back from Thailand,

that his dad, right,

his dead dad starts to
appear to him as a ghost,

and he starts to talk
to him about life

and death and everything,

and they even start
to work their shit out.

But then, his old drug
connections, you know,

they come back, they...
to track him down, you know?

Yeah.

Mm.

My died when I was...
when I was young...

Oh.

...younger than... than you are.

You know, it was
fucking terrible

because you're...

you're just so alone.

You know?
Do you find that?

Yeah. Well, no.

I mean, my...
my dad's still alive.

It's only in the book
that he's dead, so...

You know something?

I've always wanted
to write a book...

about all the crazy
fucking things

that have
happened in my life.

But then, you know,
marriage, divorce, kids,

and, I'll tell you,

teaching other people's
fucking books, man.

and I never seem to be
able to get around to it,

and it's the one fucking thing
I have always wanted to do. I...

Holy fuck.

You must follow
your dreams, Samuel.

You must follow them home.

Yeah.

Yeah.

See you later.

Huh? Yeah.
You gonna be okay?

Yeah, I'll be fine.

Listen, Brendan,

thanks for looking after
the old place for me.

It's my pleasure.

Should I teach
your classes, too?

Oh, that'd be great.

I've just finished Milton Acorn,

about to start on
Margaret Atwood.

Perfect. Love Margaret.

It's my favourite Atwood
of all the Atwoods.

Anything else that
I should tell the kids?

Oh, I don't know.

Tell them to look both ways
before they cross the street.

Words to live by.

Yeah.

Well, you're Ireland's
problem now.

Safe travels, old friend.

Safe travels.

♪ Un jour, triste et pensif ♪

♪ Assis au bord des flots ♪

♪ Au courant fugitif ♪

♪ Il adressa ces mots ♪

♪ Au courant fugitif ♪

♪ Il adressa ces mots ♪

♪ Si tu vois mon pays ♪

♪ Mon pays malheureux ♪

♪ Va dire a mes amis ♪

♪ Que je me souviens d'eux ♪

♪ Va dire a mes amis ♪

♪ Que je me souviens d'eux ♪

Ah, what a pleasant surprise.
How've you been?

Grand. How was the flight?

Bumpy. Yours?

Heavenly. Thanks.

That's terrible.

You'd imagine
with all your free time,

you'd come up with
better material.

Well, you know what they say -

dying's easy, comedy's hard.

Clearly.

Come on,
we'll get you settled.

So, what are we doing here?

Me? I'm, uh...

I'm reflecting on my life,

my imminent death,

and I'm writing the great
North American novel.

You. I have no fucking idea.

Writing a book.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

Are you even stupider
than I thought?

Probably.

This is good, Dad. Mmm.
Your cooking has improved.

What are you
talking about?

I was always
good in the kitchen.

We used to eat this all
the time. Don't you remember?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

I remember everything, Dad.

You and me, the old house
in Dublin, and here.

You know, when...

Geneviève and I got divorced,

and it was just
me and the kids...

...I really started to
think about you and me,

and growing up without mom.

And how the one thing that
I never wanted to happen,

'cause I knew that it
brought such a trouble,

a broken family,

that's the one
thing that happened,

You know, it's a funny thing,
this life.

Even with all the heart aches,
you wouldn't change a thing.

I wouldn't have changed a thing,

not a single moment with you.

Riding your bike.

Putting some little
picture on the wall.

Except, of course, dying,
and leaving you all on your own.

My darling boy.

It's okay, Dad. It's okay.

Thanks.

Hello.

Bonjour.

Oh, you're French.

French-Canadian.
Is that a problem?

No, it's just...

Do you ever get the feeling
that God is laughing at you?

All the time.
What's today's punchline?

Well, I just got off
the plane from Montreal,

and here you are,
reading Leonard Cohen.

Is this the part where we say,
"It's a small world"?

Exactly.
God, it's a small world.

Sure is.

Are you, uh,
are you enjoying this?

Yeah, I am. It's trippy.

'60s people,
they liked it trippy.

They sure did.

Personally I've always been
a big fan of The Favourite Game.

Is that so?

That is so. In fact, you could
say it's my favourite.

First God, and now
your hilarious gags.

We're just having
ourselves a laugh riot.

Yeah, we sure are.

Mind if I ask you, like,

what are you...
what are you doing here?

Don't mind.
I ask myself that every day.

And?

And my mother's
Irish from nearby.

She bought herself this
shop for something to do.

And you?

I have an old shack
by the sea. It's been years.

I just thought I'd come and
look at the old place.

See what's changed.

I predict you'll find
everything exactly the same.

Could be worse. I've had quite
a few changes lately.

There you go.

Thank you.

Good luck with the sea.

Enjoy the book.

So, the big moment
has finally arrived, Dad.

What happened
between you and Mum?

I never wanted much.

Wife, family.

Decent job with decent pay.

That the British Empire
had never existed.

My needs were simple.

But her needs...

They were a little
more like yours.

What the hell do you know
about my needs?

Jesus, boy.

Anyone could take
one look at you

and know all
about your needs.

Just like your mother.

And those needs, they were
more important than me,

than you, than anyone.

And she followed those needs
and we never saw her again,

and that's what happened.

But, dear God,
I loved that woman.

Jeez.

That's a bit depressing.

Hits too close to home.

The truth often does.

As a somewhat
all-knowing ghost,

what do you think
it means, Dad?

I'll leave that one
to you, son.

Good.

I have
no fucking idea.

And I'm not
like my mother.

I'm nothing
like my mother.

Excuse me.
Do you have hockey sticks?

Oh, I'm sorry.
We just sold the last one.

Too bad.

Actually, that was
just a clever ruse to

get to talk to you again.

Oh, what was it that you
wanted to talk about, again?

Why don't we start
with the basics?

What's your favourite colour?

You have done this before,
haven't you?

Oh, yeah. Many, many times.
I'm kind of an operator.

Wow.

Well, in that case, yellow.

What's next, Mr. Operator?

Well, now we get to
know each other through

charming conversation.
You ask me a question.

- What's your favourite colour?
- I don't have one.

Man of mystery, wow.

This just keeps getting
better and better.

What could possibly be next?

I think that's it
for conversation.

Oh, no.

Well, yeah. I think we've
covered all the basics,

all we need to know
about each other.

Well, what about
your favourite vegetable?

Your astrological sign?
Your name?

Samuel O'Shea.

Charlotte LaFleur.

It's nice to meet you,
Charlotte.

And now that we're so
well-acquainted,

would you like to go for
a drink with me sometime?

Why not? Let's go!

But don't you have to
look after the shop?

Fuck no.

So, what did you do
back in old New York?

A lot really. I modelled forever
and then came my thirties,

and that dried up,
so I took my bags of model cash

and I opened
a restaurant with friends.

And then my mom got sick,
and now here I am.

Hello, Charlotte.

Hello, Kevin. How are things?

Things are grand.

Who's this then?

Sam O'Shea,
nice to meet you.

Well, this has been nice,
but bye, now.

Bye, now.

Who was that?

Just a friend from the shop.

So, uh...
so where were we?

- Bags of model cash.
- Bags of model cash.

So, are you gonna get
the next drink then.

Absolutely, but I should
get home to Mother.

Can I, um,
can I give you a lift?

No, I've got the van,
but this has been fun.

Really fun.

Thanks, Samuel O'Shea.

Thank you, Charlotte LaFleur.

♪ Why don't you try ♪

♪ To do without him? ♪

♪ Why don't you try ♪

♪ To live alone? ♪

♪ Do you really need his hands ♪

♪ For your passion? ♪

♪ Do you really
need his heart ♪

♪ For your throne? ♪

♪ Do you need his labour
for your baby? ♪

♪ Do you need his
beast for the bone? ♪

♪ Do you need to hold
a leash to be a lady? ♪

♪ I know you're
going to make it ♪

♪ Make it on your own ♪

♪ Why don't you try ♪

♪ To forget him? ♪

♪ Just open up your
dainty little hand ♪

♪ You know this life is filled
with many sweet companions ♪

♪ Many satisfying
one night stands ♪

♪ Do you want to be the ditch ♪

♪ Around a tower? ♪

♪ Do you want to
be the moonlight ♪

♪ In his cave? ♪

♪ Do you want to
give your blessing ♪

♪ To his power? ♪

♪ As he goes whistling
past his daddy ♪

♪ Past his daddy's grave? ♪

♪ I'd like to take you ♪

♪ To the ceremony ♪

♪ Well, that is if
I remember the way ♪

♪ You see Jack and Jill ♪

♪ They're going to
join their misery ♪

♪ I'm afraid it's
time for everyone to pray ♪

♪ You can see they've
finally taken cover ♪

♪ They're willing, yeah,
they're willing to obey ♪

♪ Their vows are difficult ♪

♪ They're for each other... ♪

It's lazy.

She's such a bitch.

She doesn't even care,
he could be fucking dead.

Sure, babe, but,
you know,

your mom,
she's complicated.

Yeah, and he's an asshole.

A fucking asshole,
leaving us like that.

Sure babe, but your dad,

you know, he's complicated.

So, what's it like?

What's what like?

The stupid heroin,
you're always stupid smoking.

what's it really like?

It's really like...

Like God
has a velvet tongue,

and he's licking you all over,
cause he loves you so much,

cause you're
so freaking awesome.

Yeah?

Hm.

Well then,
I guess I better try.

That's my girl.

Now, you just...

breathe... it... in.

Mm.

Oh, my...

Oh, God.

What's wrong?

I just...
I don't know where to go next.

I mean, I can feel the ending,
I just can't see it.

Why don't you go for a walk?

Stir up those
creative juices.

Yeah, yeah.

That's...
That's not a terrible idea.

Jesus Christ!

Oh, my God.

Get your coat, let's go.

Where?

To the police.

- What for?
- To find out who did this.

I already know who did it.
It was Kevin.

Kevin who?

Kevin from...
Kevin from the pub.

To tell you the truth,
we had a little thing,

and he's a little jealous.

I thought it was settled,
but I'll talk to him again.

Believe me,
it's better this way.

I can handle it.

Okay, okay.

What do we do with that?

Better take it to the dump
before the flies get too thick.

Just leave it.

Just hang on for a moment.

What the fuck
do you want old man?

You left something at my house.

Go fuck yourself.

Let me give you
a piece of advice.

You ever come near me,
my house, or my woman again,

and you'll be
the one that will be fucked.

Sam, what are you doing?

Wants his deer head back.

Hey, don't touch
the fucking truck.

Or what? What?

What the fuck are you
going to do about it?

Yeah, just like I thought,
you fucking coward.

Well, well, well, look at you,
Mr. Sexy Professor Man.

I better get you home
right away.

So, we hit the ice,
and the first skate 'round,

the first guy I skate by.

So, everybody's fighting
and there's blood all over

the ice. When it's
all done the coach says,

"What the fuck? What about
winning's the best revenge?"

And I said, "Well yeah, and we
fucking won, didn't we?"

Fucking kicked their asses.

Fuck! Eh?

I'm sure your
father has a very good reason.

Whatever that is.

Bien. Joyeux Noel.
Merry Christmas.

Cheers.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Merry Christmas.

So, you've the two children?

Josée and Layton.

Great kids, the best ever.

Mine too,
though I only had the one,

my darling
young Charlotte here.

Mother.

And how many wives?

Eh, two, both-
both divorced.

You got me beat again.

I only had the one divorce,
and the one marriage, thank God.

And how old are you now?

I'm sixty-four.

You're one ahead
of me again.

I just turned 63 in November.

We've so much in common.

Maybe it's you
and I should be lovers.

Okay, you are
crossing boundaries

that should not be crossed.

What? One last go around
for your poor dying mother.

Consider it an act of charity.

This conversation's over.

Well, truth be told,

I had an older man after
your father was gone,

back in Montreal,
and he was a dream.

He was a bit slow to start,
but once the blaze got going...

...the fireworks.

So, fair play and best wishes
to us all for a merry Christmas

and a happy new year.

And a happy new year.

What about this mystery man in
Montreal I've never heard about?

- What happened to him?
- He died.

Something I've been
meaning to tell you

about what I'm really
doing here.

I think I haven't
told anybody else.

Sounds serious.

Yeah, it's pretty serious.

Jesus

- Let's go.
- Where?

To the police, like we should've
done in the first place.

No!
No fucking police.

Get in the car. I'm not
asking you, I am telling you.

If you go to the police,
I swear to God,

- you will never see me again.
- Don't you threaten me.

Don't you make me.

So, what the hell
am I going to do?

Still a tough question.

I can't lose her,
I can't lose another one.

I just can't.

You can, and you will.

Sure, every love affair since
Adam and Eve has ended

the exact the same way.
Someone leaves, or someone dies.

There's not a goddamn thing you

or anyone else
can do about that.

Maybe what you need to
start thinking about...

is maybe another woman,

another person,
another anything,

isn't the answer to every
little last thing

that's wrong with you.

Maybe not for you, Dad,

but for me,
it's all I fucking got.

I can't lose her.

Well, good fucking
luck with that then.

Thanks very
fucking much, Dad.

Oh, Thank God you're here.

Morning, lazy bones.

Oh.

Oh, God,
I love you.

I love you.

I love you, too.

It's my daughter.

The hell is she doing here?

Josée, what are you
doing here?

Papa, are you okay?

Yeah.
Oh, it's good to see you.

I want you to meet
the woman I love.

This is Charlotte,

Charlotte this is Josée,
my favourite daughter.

Papa, this isn't funny.

But it's not meant to be funny.

We love each other.

Love who, Papa?
There's no one here but us.

But she's standing right there.
Don't you see her? Look.

Papa, you're scaring me. Mm-hm.

So long, lover.

♪ Now, I've heard there
was a secret chord ♪

♪ That David played,
and it pleased the Lord ♪

♪ But you don't really ♪

♪ Care for music, do you? ♪

♪ It goes like this,
the fourth, the fifth ♪

♪ The minor fall,
the major lift ♪

♪ The baffled king ♪

♪ Composing hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ You say I took
the name in vain ♪

♪ I don't even know
the name ♪

♪ But if I did, well really ♪

♪ What's it to you? ♪

♪ There's a blaze of light
in every word ♪

♪ It doesn't matter
which you heard ♪

♪ The holy or the broken ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah... ♪

And so I figured,

why not give the dog's
pain medication a shot?

And I did.
It was a pretty nice high.

So, I finished the bottle.

Yeah, I know.
What a lowlife, eh?

Anyway, the ex dropped
the dogs off the other day.

and the dog pain killers?

Well, they're still on the
kitchen counter next to the sink

right where they're
supposed to be.

And me? Well, I'm right
where I'm supposed to be

thanks to my sobriety.

and I'm just grateful that I can
be here in the right place

with you guys.
Thanks for letting me share.

Thanks, Mike.

My name is Samuel,
and I'm an alcoholic.

Samuel.

Thanks for sharing, Mike.

I really identified with
what you said there

about being in the right place.

I've, uh...

I've just come from my
daughter's bedside, and, uh...

it seems she was
strung out on heroin,

and I didn't notice...

because I was too busy being a
selfish alcoholic asshole.

What a lovely surprise for me,
your favourite daughter!

I was calling you from
the restaurant for 45 minutes.

You didn't answer.

Oh, was that today, our lunch?

I'm so sorry. I forgot.

I've been so caught up with
the new show, and school.

It's been so crazy. I'm sorry.

Why don't you come with me?

No, no, no, no.
You run along.

- We'll catch up later.
- Come on, my love.

We can still lunch after.
No. Papa, papa, papa.

Please, please.

Come with me, my love.
Come on.

Papa, please.

Come with me, my love.
Come on.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

I'll take you home.
Come on.

Hey!
Hey, what the fuck man!

You ever go near her again,
I'll fucking bury you.

Fuck.

She still looks
the same as the day

we brought her home.

I can see all
the days in her face.

Oh, my poor darling.

It's my fault.
I should have known.

I should have noticed.

No. Me, too.
As soon as she's rested,

we're gonna get
her the best help.

She's gonna be alright.

Yeah.

I guess I should be going.
It's getting late.

Yeah.

Goodnight, my dear.

I am going to slowly beat
the living shit out of him

until he is
completely fucking dead.

He's a sick boy,
Layton.

He does things
to hurt people.

Like I did things
to hurt people

that I cared about more
than anything in the world.

And I am
so sorry for that.

You weren't that bad.

Actually, fuck it,
you were a terrible father.

Half the time,
the other half, you were...

You were okay.

Thanks.
It's more than I deserve.

Yeah. I know...
and you're welcome.

I've made so many
mistakes in my life.

I've been in the wrong
place so many times,

I feel that...

...it's just been one
long series of mistakes.

And that it might have been
better for everybody if I...

Anyway.

What can you say, except...

"I'm sorry"?

And I'm just thankful
to be with you guys today

in the right place.

Thank you.

Thanks, Samuel.

♪ Did I ever love you? ♪

♪ Did I ever need you? ♪

♪ Did I ever fight you? ♪

♪ Did I ever want to? ♪

♪ Did I ever leave you? ♪

♪ Was I ever able? ♪

♪ Are we still leaning ♪

♪ Across the old table? ♪

♪ Did I ever love you? ♪

♪ Did I ever need you? ♪

♪ Did I ever fight you? ♪

♪ Did I ever want to? ♪

♪ Did I ever leave you? ♪

♪ Was I ever able? ♪

♪ Are we still leaning ♪

♪ Across the old table? ♪

♪ Was it ever settled? ♪

♪ Was it ever over? ♪

♪ And is it still raining ♪

♪ Back in November? ♪

♪ The lemon trees blossom ♪

♪ The almond trees whither ♪

♪ Was I ever someone ♪

♪ Who could love you forever? ♪

♪ Was it ever settled? ♪

♪ Was it ever over? ♪

♪ And is it still raining ♪

♪ Back in November? ♪

♪ The lemon trees blossom ♪

♪ The almond trees whither ♪

♪ It's spring and it's summer ♪

♪ And it's winter forever ♪

♪ Did I ever love you? ♪

♪ does it really matter? ♪

♪ Did I ever fight you? ♪

♪ There's no need to answer ♪

♪ Did I ever love you? ♪

♪ Did I ever need you? ♪

♪ Did I ever fight you? ♪

♪ Did I ever want to? ♪

♪ Did I ever leave you? ♪

♪ Was I ever able? ♪

♪ Are we still leaning ♪

♪ Across the old table? ♪

♪ Did I ever love you ♪

♪ Did I ever need you ♪

Sorry I'm late.

Hey, look who it is.
Good old Lazarus.

How goes
the sober resurrection?

Taking it one day at a time,
as they say.

God, what a beautiful day.

Spring. Let's take a walk,
old friend.

Sorry about that Lazarus gag.
I wasn't thinking.

Don't worry about it.

I still don't understand why
you didn't tell anyone earlier.

Maybe you could
have done something,

help somehow.

I don't understand it myself.

Yeah.

Moving on to even
half of your topics.

- The advanced copy.
- Oh.

Almost done.

- I actually like it.
- Thanks, I think.

The part with the dead dad
is very touching stuff.

Yeah.

Frankenstein,
that was quite the surprise.

Just, please, whatever you do,
don't tell me how it finishes up

because I'm on
the edge of my seat.

Lips are sealed.

Seriously, though, man,
it's a really great job.

You should be very proud.

Coming from you old friend,
that really means something.

Thank you.

You're welcome,
you lucky bastard.

Writing a book that's
better than anything

I'll ever pull off,
return from the wild,

clean and sober,
back in the saddle.

In this little game
called life, my friend,

you're the fucking big winner!

Yes, I know it seems like that,
but I'm still dying.

Could be gone any time,

but fuck that death guy, right?

Yeah, fuck that death guy.

You know,
it's all true, Brendan.

The sun is hot,

the mountain is high,

life is short, very short,

but so, so beautiful.

And, you know, we haven't
really talked since then.

I kind of miss him.

Have you told him how you feel?

No, does that work?

Yeah, yeah. I've heard that it...

Oh, I've got you.

- Okay?
- Yeah, this is fun.

We got to do this more often.

Yeah, we should.

the November sun fell
on the cold green hill,

and the sea rolled on
in blue black swells,

and the smell of the cigarette
being smoked by the ghost of

my father crackled in the wind.

And a wind was blowing
through me as well,

blowing cold through my days,

cold through the years.

And I wondered, "Who am I?"
as these avalanches overtake me.

The five year old child
abandoned by his mother,

shaking like a falling leaf?

The sixteen year old boy
standing over his dying father,

frozen like
winter morning water?

Or this man, grown old,

sitting by sea's edge,
all alone with his dead dad?

And I wondered, "Who am I

and who are the ghosts?"

Thank you.

Samuel, I just wanted to say

that was so good.

Thank you.

And also that,
um, I don't know.

I'm... I'm glad that
you weren't a ghost.

Me, too.

That you've been
here for everyone.

Yeah. Alright, off to
read my new favourite book.

Yeah, careful.
Don't let it put you to sleep.

I don't think so.

Pretty good read there,
Professor,

though it did seem
a little fucking familiar.

What's going on, Chad?

- My idea.
- What?

My idea about the guy
who sees his dead father

that I told you about
that morning on the mountain.

How you stole my fucking idea!

What are you talking...

You stole my fucking idea
for your fucking book!

Oh, sure, you dressed it up
with a few little bells

and whistles,
but it's still my idea,

that I fucking told you.
It's still my fucking story!

You're a fucking thief.
You're a fucking thief.

You stole my fucking idea.
You stole my fucking girlfriend.

You stole everything.
I fucking hate you!

I fucking hate you!

Are you alright?

Excuse me. I'm sorry.

Hey.

Nice to see you.

I was wondering where
you disappeared to.

I'm sorry, son,
but it's time.

What?

Jesus Christ. The shifty
little fucker shot me.

Yeah, yeah,
really blew your brains out.

Couldn't you have
done something?

Couldn't you
have warned me?

Afraid not.

It's time to go.

But I can't leave now, Dad.
Look how they need me.

I was just beginning
to make it up to them.

They'll all be okay,
believe me.

Somehow, some way,
they'll all be alright.

- Are you sure, Dad?
- Yeah, I'm sure.

You were a good man, son.

Proud of you.

And I love you.

- Ah, thanks, Dad.
- It's time to go.

So...

So, this is dying?

Yeah, this is dying.

Not what I expected.

This isn't exactly the end.

This is more like we're
walking up to the station,

about to catch our train.

And where are we headed?

Home.

Home?
Will Mum be there?

Sorry, son, it doesn't
really work like that.

Well, how does it work?

Well, usually, the first
thing to happen is...

♪ Now, I greet you from ♪

♪ The other side ♪

♪ Of sorrow ♪

♪ And despair ♪

♪ With a love so vast ♪

♪ And shattered ♪

♪ It will reach you ♪

♪ Everywhere ♪

♪ And I sing this ♪

♪ For the captain ♪

♪ Whose ship has not ♪

♪ Been built ♪

♪ For the mother ♪

♪ in confusion ♪

♪ Her cradle ♪

♪ Still unfilled ♪

♪ For the heart ♪

♪ With no companion ♪

♪ For the soul ♪

♪ Without a king ♪

♪ For the prima ♪

♪ Ballerina ♪

♪ Who cannot dance ♪

♪ To anything ♪

♪ Through the days of shame ♪

♪ That are coming ♪

♪ Through the nights of ♪

♪ Wild distress ♪

♪ Though your promise ♪

♪ Count for nothing ♪

♪ You must keep it ♪

♪ Nonetheless ♪

♪ You must keep it ♪

♪ For the captain ♪

♪ Whose ship has not ♪

♪ Been built ♪

♪ For the mother ♪

♪ In confusion ♪

♪ Her cradle ♪

♪ Still unfilled ♪

♪ For the heart ♪

♪ With no companion ♪

♪ For the soul ♪

♪ Without a king ♪

♪ For the prima ♪

♪ Ballerina ♪

♪ Who cannot dance ♪

♪ To anything ♪

♪ And I greet you ♪

♪ From the other side ♪

♪ Of sorrow ♪

♪ And despair ♪

♪ With a love so vast ♪

♪ And shattered ♪

♪ It will reach you ♪

♪ Everywhere ♪