Deadstream (2022) - full transcript

-I'm Shawn Ruddy, and
I'm a piece of trash.

I'm Shawn Ruddy, the
world's biggest wuss.

And because I love
attention and hate myself,

I'm facing all of my fears one
dumb ass challenge at a time.

Help! [Screams]

Ah!

Stop! Muchachos!

Hey, douchebags!

(bleep)
- What did you say?

- Oh (bleep) (bleep)
- Hey!

(bleep) (bleep)



[Screams]

This is "The Wrath of Shawn."

Welcome to "The Wrath of
Shawn." Happy Halloween!

[Rumbling]

Ah!

No, no, no!

Help!

Ah!

Hadouken!

[Triumphant music plays]

[Screams]

I'm back!

After six months of
eating ramen noodles

with chopped up bits of Vienna
sausages, I am monetized again.



[Chimes]

But I don't care
about that stuff.

I don't care about money.

I care about you.

For seven years now,
you have watched me face

my fears for your entertainment.

And I'm happy to announce
I've faced them all.

Not.

There is one fear that
I haven't yet faced.

Something I fear more than
cops. More than sharks.

More than playing
bingo with the elderly.

I, Shawn Ruddy, and
mortally terrified of...

ghosts.

-[Screams]

-I was raised in
a religious home.

I believe in that stuff.
I hate that stuff.

I haven't seen a horror movie

since the first
half of "Ghost Dad."

And that's why I hate myself
for what I'm about to say.

For my next livestream event,

I will be spending one night
alone in a haunted house.

If there are ghosts
in the house,

it's pretty much a guarantee
that I'm going to piss them off.

That's why my mom packed
me this paranormal kit.

Holy water, a crucifix, salt,
garlic, and a silver dagger.

I have come up with one rule
that you and the sponsors

can hold me to... if I see
or hear anything unusual,

I have to check it out.

If you let me break this
rule, I will not get paid.

[Slow motion] I
will not get paid.

[Normal speed] This is
on you now, Internet.

Tune into my Livvid
channel on October 20th,

11:00 p.m. Mountain
Standard Time

for the biggest comeback
event since the first Easter.

I'll see you then.

Don't forget to smash
that like button,

smash that subscribe button,
and follow me on Livvid.

Welcome to "The wrath of Shawn."

These shirts are available
right now in my merch store,

and as always,

I've composed a score
specifically for this broadcast.

I'm calling this one "Shawn
Carpenter's Halloween."

Available now on iTunes.

Okay, this is Shawn Ruddy,

coming to you live from...

Death Manor.

I'm doing a dramatic push
in, if you can't tell.

This is the most haunted
house in the United States.

And by that, I mean
the most haunted

but not too famous for
me to film in house.

And I'm spending
the night there.

I've had the nervous
poops all week.

But no matter what
happens to me,

I am committed to bringing you

the most cinematic
experience in live streaming.

I've got my Livvid
bracelet right here.

So when I flick my wrist,
this will cut back and forth

from my selfie
camera, my P.O.V. cam.

Okay.

Now, this next part is called
protecting me from myself.

I need to remove any
temptation of an easy exit.

I know me way too well.

[Grunts]

I've done a lot of
stupid things before,

but I've never been completely
alone while doing that.

If you're just tuning in,

I am about to make my
approach to Death Manor.

Death Manor was built in 1880
by a wealthy Mormon pioneer

for his social outcast daughter,
a poet named Mildred Pratt.

Mildred would later
commit suicide

and become the first of
many deaths in this house.

Did her suicide curse the house?

Or was Mildred the victim
of an already cursed house?

[Thunder rumbling]

That's not a good sign.

This is not going well for me.

I'm not a big fan
of these woods.

They actually found a body
out here a few years ago.

The face was completely
eaten by rats.

Was it related to the
power of this house?

Maybe.

Maybe it was also... [Screams]

A stick man.

That is some
satanic Wiccan crap.

I got to get some eyes out here.

[Beeping]

All of these infrared
cameras are motion activated

and will cut right into
the feed automatically.

So if anything happens
out here, we'll know.

[Thunder rumbling]

[Grunts]

Let's see.

Not a big fan of barbed
wire or "bobbed" wire,

as my mom calls it.

There's got to be another door.

Yeah. This is better.

Good thing I've been lifting.

Being banned from the
Internet has given me

time to work on my self.

Ah!

[Grunts]

Okay.

[Grunts]

Spiders!

Ah!

Okay. Before I
change my mind...

This is also called
protecting me from myself.

What is that, a vent?

After Mildred's death, 11
more people died in this house

before it was finally
boarded up in 1956.

That's... [Screams] Shit! Shoot!

I meant shoot. Please
don't monetize me, Livvid.

This is an intense situation.

I think there should
be a strike system,

like three strikes or something,
starting on the next one.

Holy F.

This room smells like my A.H.

"Help me."

It's just paint.
It's just paint.

[Panting] Is anyone else
creeped out by this?

"I'm an atheist. I don't
believe in ghosts."

Oh, good for you, Kimbucha.

"Haunted houses are overdone."

How can haunted
houses be overdone?

I've never done one before.

Kiguy5... "Did kids call you
crater face in high school?"

No, because in high
school it was still acne.

Your nuts. Yeah. What
about him? [Laughs]

What is that?

Oh, gross! Oh, gross!

That's disgusting.

Alright, Shawn, 10 minutes in,

you've already got
swearing and drugs.

Is that a well bucket?

I feel like I'm in "The Ring."

Here it is.

Mildred's old kitchen.

That means that's the room.

Okay.

Judas Priest! Look
at that thing.

Looks like it could
fillet someone.

Okay.

Tonight, we're going to
be monitoring three rooms,

all of which have actual
documented paranormal activity.

The first room,
the master bedroom.

Ahh.

We got to get a camera
up in here, too.

Internet, say a prayer
this chair doesn't break.

Is that gonna hold?

Pro tip... Always
carry duct tape.

You can literally fix 90% of
life's problems with duct tape.

I made a wallet of duct
tape in eighth grade.

I'm still proud of it.

Master.

Okay, this room has two separate
reports of the same ghost

who I like to call Corner Man.

This is the first account.

In 1910, a man named Max Loland
wrote about a reoccurring dream

he had while sleeping
in this room.

"In my dreams, I wake up
and see a very tall man

in the north corner of my room.

I can't see his face, but
I know he's watching me.

And he always whispers
the same thing...

The pond water still.

One year later, Max
Loland died in his sleep.

In this room.

Probably in this nasty bed.

North corner.

Okay, prepare yourself.
This is really disturbing.

"In 1995, a team of
paranormal investigators

came into this room
and took this picture.

They were standing right here.

[Thud]

I don't think I can
be in here anymore.

I hope you all appreciate
the public service

I'm doing by being here.

LilyKing98... "Shawn,
please do the right thing

and help the spirits of
this house find rest."

Hell, no! I'm not an
exorcist, LilyKing98.

Oyaboyo... "Are you still
with what's her name?"

No, shh! We're here.

That's where it happened.

Mildred hung herself right
at the top of these stairs.

[Eerie music plays]

From all accounts
I could dig up,

Mildred's small town community
wasn't a big fan of, quote,

"odd duck Mildred
and her weird poems."

So her dad built
her this big house.

I don't know why.

My guess is he thought
it might attract

a husband for her.

But no one wanted her it seems.

As creepy as the
Corner Man stuff is,

it's the second
floor that's the real

paranormal G-spot in this house.

Okay.

The nursery.

From what I found in my
research, five children

have died in this room.

Two babies and three kids.

[Door creaks]

Oh. I've always hated
creepy kid movies.

What if Haley Joel Osment
was just sitting here?

As an adult.

Oh, that's worse.

Look at that window.

Why isn't this one boarded up?

You think something escaped?

Okay, now, for the ghost
evidence of this room.

I'm going to play this messed
up video from some ghost hunters

in the '90s while I
set up the room cam.

-I don't want to go
back in there, Dad.

-Just a little longer,
just to help us out.

-No.

-Well, we can get
ice cream after.

Jessica!

They told me it's not my room.

-Who told you that?

Pretty creepy, right?

That girl totally saw
something in this room.

Also, I just want to
say, I do not condone

the use of a child in
paranormal research.

I've never used children
before in my stunts.

Despite what people say,
there are further depths

that I could sink to.

Okay. Last room.

This is the room I've
been dreading the most.

The bathroom.

[Gasps]

A mirror!

Bloody Mary.

The last death that
I could find happened

in this bathtub in 1955.

Ohhhh.

Ah!

I would never.

I'm about to play an EVP
recorded in this room in 2002.

For those of you
unfamiliar with EVPs,

EVP stands for Electronic
Voice Phenomenon.

The idea is that
recordings may be able to

pick up communications
from the dead

that we otherwise can't hear.

I'll show you. Listen to this.

-We've got Jay. He's
going to man the recorder.

He's been feeling really sick.

-Yeah, I just... I don't.
I don't like it here.

The second we walked in,
I just... I don't like it.

Yeah, I just... I don't
know. I don't like it here.

The second we walked in,
I just... I don't like it.

I don't like it.

I don't like it.
I don't like it.

-Did you guys hear that?

The ghost said "mama"
and "pond water."

It's just like
that guy's journal.

Corner Ghost said the
pond water is still.

It was totally pond water!

Okay, fine. Maybe it
was "bond mother."

Either way, there's a
presence still in this bath.

Why is it still here?

Well, that brings us back
to our story of pathetic,

lonely Mildred
and her sad poems.

Mildred lived here for
eight years in this house,

writing poems about
the romantic love

she didn't have.

A tortured artist,
you could say.

But she was finally hit
with a stroke of luck

when a handsome,
wealthy publisher

from the East Coast
named Lars Jorgensen

passed through her small town.

They fell in love,
and for two years,

they wrote each other love
letters almost every day.

Want to know what happens next?

You're going to
have to stay tuned.

[Laughs]

All right. For
whatever reason,

this room hasn't had any
reports of paranormal activity.

Which is why I'm calling
this the safe room

and setting up my home base.

This room is now "Wrath
of Shawn" headquarters.

[Screams] A closet!

Oh, no. Ghosts love closets.

I have to check.

Okay. We're clear.

[Gasps] What is that?

What is this?!

I do not like this!

If something happens
to me tonight,

I guarantee it'll be
because of this thing.

Okay, let's get some proper
light in here, shall we?

I think I deserve that.

If you're just tuning in,

I have just finished
my setup of the house.

Ah.

Ahh.

I better just go
halfsies on this thing.

I'm not as young
as I used to be.

No offense, Thunder.

I mean, I know it says
100% natural ingredients,

so I'm sure it's good for you.

If you're 18.

SleeplesslnSerbia...
For the love of God,

tell us what
happened to Mildred.

No, I got to keep you
guys watching all night.

TatumTot... provoke the spirits.

I am provoking
them. By being here.

Seriously I'm out?
No, no, no, no, no.

Wait, wait, wait,
don't go, don't go.

I'll provoke.

And yes, I did make a wheel
of stupid things for this.

Let me get it.

Right. See? All
right, I'll spin.

Oh, seance? Come on.

Okay, but I get to
choose the room.

We're going to do things
my way. All right?

Okay, back to the
shocking conclusion

of the Mildred saga.

After writing each other
letters for two years,

Lars asked Mildred to marry
him and move to Boston.

She was finally about to leave

what she called "this
stinky little town."

But just two days before
she was supposed to move,

Lars unexpectedly died.

She hung herself the next
day at the end of this hall.

And legend has it that
everyone who died after her

is still in this house.

Why?

Because Mildred is collecting
souls to create the family

she could never have in life.

[Click, music stops]

[Thunder rumbles]

Oh, no way!

Oh, this is too perfect!

Oh, somebody look this up and
find a year on this thing.

And the going price on eBay.

[Laughs]

Should I be offended that
clowns wear whiteface?

I'm always out of touch with
the rules on these things.

[Clears throat]

Spirit from another time,

I touch something

that was once thine.

Come to me. I summoned thee.

[Creaking]

Red rover, red rover, send
dead babies right over.

[Creaking]

Geez.

I'm not sure how you're
supposed to tell the difference

between old house
sounds and ghost sounds.

Ghosts have a really...

[Loud thud, gasps]

[Screaming]

Did you guys hear
that? It's... aah!

It's coming after me.

That was not a house
sound. That was a thump!

What kind of a house goes thump?

Here's the thing.

I was too scared to say
it back there, but...

I felt something, like...
like a vibration in my chest.

Like... it felt like.

[Gasping]

You believed me.

I'm thinking about producing
a film starring me.

You know, I actually
think I'm good enough.

I'm going to call it
"The Excor-Shawnce"

or "Shawn-corcist."

Speaking of cysts, I
used to date this girl

that had a cyst in her forearm.

I mean, it wasn't huge, but
it still gave me the heebies.

Now my memories have
exaggerated over time.

So every time I think about her,

I imagine this Popeye
arm looking girl.

Makes me want to throw up.

[Gasps] We should look her up!

How freaky would it be
if we did an episode

where we drain her cyst?

You gag, you lose challenge.

[Shudders]

[Unzips]

Can't even think about it.

[Urinating]

[Humming]

♪ Bom bom bom bom bom bom ♪

♪ Bom bom bom ♪

♪ Bom bom! ♪

♪ Bom bom bom bom bom bom ♪

Oh, come on. That
doesn't even look real.

I'm not falling for
this Photoshop hack job.

I've been using Photoshop
since eighth grade.

Okay. All right, I'll play.

Let's pull up that
part of the time code.

Let's go there.

[Panting]

That was real. That was real.

What do we do?

I'm not going back out there.
That was right outside the door.

Screw the rules. That
wasn't a ghost sound.

That was a literal,
actual thing.

Like a demon or
Slenderman or something.

You all saw it. It
had freaking legs!

Damn it.

Stop. Stop. I'm not
losing my sponsors again.

Just... Just let me think.

Okay, so... so technically, I
just have to go to that spot

and I could run
right back, right?

I just need to walk to
the end of the hallway

and come right back.

There and back again.

Like "A Hobbit's Tale."
Okay, I can do this.

I can do this. Oh,
shit, I can't do it!

Come on, Shawn, you
can. The sponsors.

Okay.

All right.

All right, here I
go. Watch me soar.

Okay, I'm going, but
I need some support.

Like, can you send me pictures
of cute things like baby pandas

or dogs wearing
clothes and shit.

Shoot. Strike.

Did I leave that open?

[Gasps]

Come on, Shawn.
You can do this.

[Gasps] What was that?

[Thud]

[Gasps]

[Footsteps running]

[Door creaking, gasps]

[Screams]

It's real! It's real! It's real!

What do you want from me?!

[Panting]

[Loud thud]

[Screams]

-Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Shawn! I love you so much.

I can't believe it's you!

I'm obsessed with watching you.

I mean, watching your channel.

-How did you find me? You're
not supposed to be here.

Oh, it's so good to see a human.

- Can I stay?
- Yes, please.

No!

Oh, please don't leave me.

Who are you?
- I'm Chrissy.

You've probably seen, like,
a bazillion comments from me.

I'm QuizCat94.

-Holy crap. Can I just
sit down for a second

and process all of this?

-Of course.

Oh, I'm fine.

-How did you even figure
out where this place is?

-Oh, it wasn't hard. I just
pieced things together.

You accidently gave it
away when you were said...

-Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop, stop.

I don't want any more
surprise visitors tonight.

So you drove out to
the middle of nowhere

and then an hour down
a sketchy dirt road

in the middle of the night
all by yourself just to...

-I just wanted to
say hi in person.

Also, I can help with
the ghost hunting.

I'm really good at
stuff like that.

-Well, obviously I don't
need help ghost hunting.

I'm pretty good at drawing them
out all by myself apparently.

I'm like a frickin'
salt lick for ghosts.

- Wait, are you leaving?
- Huh?

I think I'm just going
to leave my cameras.

-Why? I thought you
needed the money.

-You can't pay me
enough to stay here.

-Even with the record
amount of views.

-Serious?

Oh.

Holy crap!

-See, Shawn. They
want us to stay.

-Chrissy, not trying to
be an A-hole or anything,

but they don't want us to
stay, they want me to stay.

The whole premise here is that
I'm alone in a haunted house.

Seriously? You want
her to stay? Okay.

All right. I'll make a
poll. Should she stay?

You seriously want her to stay?

It's not going to be as
scary with two people here.

-Shawn, are we staying?

-The engagement is really
high with you here.

Oh, this is so stupid.

All right, let me
think about this.

Okay. We'll stay.

-Yes! [Laughs] Yes!

-Hey, sponsors, I
just want to say,

I know this is technically
outside of our agreement,

but you saw that
I didn't do this.

She came on her own. Okay?

-He's telling the truth.
I have never met him.

-Okay.

We've got a ghost
to investigate.

Here. Take this.

-It's Chrissy.

-All right.

All right, let's hurry
before I think it through.

I can't believe I'm
coming out here again.

Hey, turn around. Look that way.

Turn. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Walk backwards like that.

I got eyes in the
back of my head now.

-I think we should go
to the master bedroom.

-No, I don't want
to go down there.

-That's where Corner Man
lives. Isn't that who you saw?

-Okay, fine. We'll
go to his room.

[Thunder rumbling]

-Do I still need
to walk backwards?

-Yes, but look up so
we can actually see.

-Okay.

-Better.

-Hey, Shawn.

I think people
would really like it

if you acted a little
more excited about this.

-Are you fan-splaining
to me right now?

I know what I'm doing.

There it is. That's his room.

Some people legit died in there.

Chrissy!

Seriously?

Chrissy!

Chrissy, what the
hell are you doing?

- [Laughs]
- I'm serious!

You scared me.
What are you doing?

-Sorry. Just hunting for ghosts.

-Okay. Well, new rule.

We're not going to
split up, ever. Okay?

Okay. Everything seems
calm in there right now.

Hey, to go over there.
That's his space.

You're disrespecting it.

- [Screams]
- [Screams]

-[Panting] I heard something.

-I'm gonna kill her.

Before this night is over,
I'm gonna kill Christy.

What is it?

I'm good at checking
out closets.

This sounds like mice.

Whoa!

That goes way back there.

[Gasps] Stairs!

-Let me see.

A secret room.
Let's go down there.

-That would be so stupid.

Why do you think
they covered this up?

- Maybe they thought...
- Shh!

Oh, smells like a
dead feet in here.

This looks like an old cellar.

-[Gasps] Shawn!

-Oh, wow.

What is that?

It's locked. There's
probably money in here.

Do you think some of
this is Mildred's stuff?

-I don't know.

What's that?

What is this?

Mildred Pratt? [Gasps]

This must be her journal!

Are we about to uncover
the secret of this house?

"The dianthus are blooming.
The birds are cooing.

Your visage is in
the sunlit canopies."

Oh, never mind.
These are just poems.

-That's so cool.
Read another one.

-They don't even rhyme.

-What? Let me see.

-What is that?

What is that?!

That is a dead animal!

- [Screams]
- That is a dead,

mummified animal!

-No!

-A secret room with
Mildred's stuff.

[Laughs]

Do the wheel, please. Yes.
Yes. Let's do the wheel!

I'm actually excited
this time. Let's do it.

Here, Chrissy.
You can spin it.

It's on the line. Spin again.

-No, Shawn. It's
not an accident.

Something wants us to do both.

-Spirit board.

AVP reporter.

-Candles?

-I don't have candles.

I have these.

-To start, I'll need you
to read the poems out loud.

-No, they're boring.

- They're not boring.
- Chrissy, this is my show.

Put one of your
hands on this book.

Spirits of this house.

We want to talk to the
child spirits of this house.

Not to slendery thing. Please.

I'm now turning the
floor over to Chrissy.

You got this.

-How are you, my
spiritual children?

-Listen.

Were any of you killed by
the spirit named Mildred?

-Shawn, I know a chant
that always works.

Repeat after me.

-[Speaking Latin]

-No, I don't say weird
things I don't understand.

-Okay, I don't know, like,
the literal translation.

But basically it's an
offering of peace to those

who may not be at peace.

Like, maybe the spirit
wasn't satisfied.

Like, maybe they wanted
more out of life.

-Okay. Fine.

-Okay. Repeat after me.

- [Speaking Latin]
- [Repeating in Latin]

[Loud thud]

-What was that?

The motion sensors must
have picked up something

in the bathroom.

- Let's go check it out.
- No!

-You have to check out the
paranormal activity, Shawn.

You made up the rules.

-That's what we're
doing right now.

We're checking out the
ghost in this room.

If there's another ghost when
we're checking out a ghost,

it gets canceled out.

- "Chrissy's braver
than you." Stop it.

She's not braver than me.

She's just trying to get
out of our board game

because she's obviously losing.

- "Your rules, Shawn."

Oh, give me a
freaking break, guys.

I thought you were Wrathies.

[Whispering indistinctly]

Okay, just give me a
minute to think about this.

-Don't worry, Shawn.

I have a feeling that soon
you won't be afraid anymore.

-Thank you for that.

What if Chrissy goes?

-Sure. I guess.

But you said we
shouldn't separate ever.

-But then I realized we should.

Guys, guys, whoa, whoa.

I'm not making her go
check it out by herself.

She's a strong,
independent woman,

and she's choosing
to go alone, right?

It's actually better this
way because I can look at

the monitors and let you know
if something's happening.

[Eerie music playing]

[Gasps]

[Music stops]

What was that?

Did that just move?

Oh, crap.

Chrissy?

[Creaking, thud]

Screw this room.

[Thunder rumbling]

Chrissy?

Chrissy?

Chrissy!

Chrissy!

Chrissy?

- Ah!
- [Screams]

Stupid... big little lies.

What the "F" is wrong with you?

-You are so jumpy.

-Because there are literal
actual ghost things

happening to me right
now, and you're up here

pissing around like you
don't care about any of it,

and you're trying to
turn my fans against me.

- Shawn, it's just a joke.
- No, it's not.

Where did you even go?

-Just hiding.

-Where, Chrissy? You
disappear so fast.

How do you even
know where to hide?

Have you been here before?

Did you get here before I did?

-No, Shawn.

-Then how did you get
in? I locked the door.

- I went through a window.
- Bullshit!

You're not a huge fan.
You're a crazy stalker freak.

This whole thing has turned
into me baby sitting a freak.

Meanwhile, I got 100% legit
demons or ghosts after me.

You are officially uninvited.

Now I'm going to go back
in the safe room by myself

and Google how to
exorcise ghost children.

-I don't think
that's a good idea.

-Why not?

[Rumbling]

-[Laughs]

-[Screams]

[Screaming]

[Thud]

[Panting]

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. I killed her.

I killed her.

I need the cops.
I need the cops.

Help!

There's been an accident!
I killed someone!

Somebody call the cops!

I'm at the old Pratt
house about 20 miles down

McGreedy Road.

I'm gonna drive into
town and turn myself in.

I'm so sorry! It
was an accident!

[Gasps]

Chrissy?

Chrissy?

Chrissy?

I'm going to leave a first
aid kit right here for you.

- [Gasps]
- [Thud]

[Panting]

What the hell was that?!

What is that?

It's her.

[Gasps]

[Whimpering]

It's her.

It's Mildred.

Did you guys see that?

"You have to leave."
I can't leave!

She's blocking the stairs.

I'm gonna die.

What video?

-Shawn, you know that thing
that was hanging in the closet?

Well, I figured out what it
was. A symbol is a hamsa.

It's hard to identify because
it's an ancient version.

But if you look at these
shapes, you can see.

These are the fingers,
and this is the eyes.

- This kid's like 12 years old.
- I don't know if you know

very much about hamsas,
but it's a symbol

that is used to ward off evil.

Everybody uses it...

The Jews, Muslims,
Christians, Pagans.

There's a whole thing
on Wikipedia about it,

but I'm pretty sure that
the people that made it were

trying to keep the evil
spirits of the house at bay.

And my guess is it was probably
working until you destroyed it.

- What?
- I'm sorry, Shawn,

but I just wanted to
say I'm a big fan,

and I think you're really
funny, and the world

should just forgive you
because you're a good person

and everybody's too
sensitive these days.

-I unleased her.

I unleashed Mildred.

Somebody help me!

"Push past her..."

I can't! I can't!

Come on, Shawn.

"If she had the power to attack
you, she would have done it."

Okay, okay.

I'm gonna go try to
squeeze past her.

[Breathing heavily]

[Door creaking]

- [Roars]
- [Screams]

[Gagging]

-[Whispering indistinctly]

-[Screams]

[Grunting]

-[Roars]

-[Breathing heavily]

[Screams]

Yes. Yes

That's not my key.

[Thud]

[Panting]

Oh, shit, oh, shit.

[Grunting]

Ah! [Groans]

Where are the cops? I need
help. I can't get out.

"Maybe you're supposed to
use the key to open the box."

How's that supposed to help?

It fits.

[Gasps] Chrissy is Mildred!

[Gasps]

I can't just jump out a window.

This is crazy. No way am
I going back upstairs.

[Scraping]

[Gasping]

-[Child sobbing]

-[Screams]

-[Growling]

-They're not going to
let me out of this house!

I can't leave. I've just
gonna wait for the cops.

What do you mean she owns me?

-Shawn, I'm a Latin professor
at Brown University.

I've translated the Latin that
you spoke early in the night

when you tried to
talk to the dead.

Shawn, that woman lied to you.

- What?
- This is the actual translation

of what you said.

I give thee my soul
and forfeit my will.

- Oh, no.
- I'm sorry, Shawn.

-Can I help?

Shawn, we have a theory
about what's been happening

at the house.

We think that every ghost
lives there used to be alive,

like you, Mildred totally
messes with people's minds

and tries to make them
depressed and psycho

and not themselves until
eventually she gets them

to say the chant that
you said you said.

So, Shawn, now that you said
the words, I'm afraid that

you might feel like
killing yourself.

- That's enough.
- Don't die, Shawn.

-Oh, no.

I'm not going to kill myself!

Karma for what I did?

I didn't do anything wrong.

I apologized because I had to.

I lost everything. My
parents got death threats.

I was acquitted, by the way.
No one ever mentions that.

I never said I was a role model!

I'm sick of apologizing
for being myself!

I regret apologizing, and
that's the only thing I regret!

I didn't know he was sick!

He signed a waiver!

I'm not racist!
- Shawn.

What was that?

-Guilty!

-[Screams]

[Panting]

[Screams]

[Coughs]

Ouch.

[Thunder rumbles]

[Gasps]

Ah! Ow, my legs!

Oh, I can't look.

I can't look. [Groans]

Okay. I'll look.

[Screams]

I shouldn't have looked!

Where are the cops?!

Clean it?

Okay.

[Gasps, screams]

- [Growling]
- [Gasps]

Oh, no.

[Groans]

[Panting]

Spark plugs.

[Screeching]

[Thunder rumbling]

Spark plugs.

Yes!

Oh. Yes, yes. Yes.

[Snarling]

- Ah!
- [Roaring]

-[Screams]

[Screaming]

[Grunts]

-Are you Shawn Ruddy?

-Yes.

Oh, you're my
freakin' hero, man!

- Okay, son.
- You're never gonna hear me

say another bad thing
about the police, I swear.

-Okay. I'm just happy to help.

-[Growling]

-We have to get
out of here fast.

Where's your car? I
don't see your car, man.

-I've been watching tonight.
It's some really great stuff.

-What?

-But I really don't like it
when you hurt people, Shawn.

-No, no, no.

-You really shouldn't
hurt people, Shawn.

-Is that what this is about?

I would never hurt
anyone on purpose!

Except for you, mother frogger!

Bitch!

Strike. Ah!

[Panting]

[Screams]

I can't see.

Yes.

[Beeping]

- [Grunting]
- [Gasps]

Oh, no! Ah!

Ah!

Help me! They're
coming to get me!

I can't go back out there.
You saw what was in the woods.

Hamsa lady? Who's hamsa lady?

-Grandma were talking to
that guy I told you about.

He's in the house right
now. Tell him who you are.

-My name is Hedy.

When I was 15 years old,

I lived in the Pratt
house as a nanny.

-No way! She lived here?

-There's a vengeful spirit
in the house named Mildred.

She came after me,
but I created a ward

to keep her powers at bay.

It's in upstairs closet.

-He destroyed the
house, Grandma.

-Aw, shit. He's going to die.

-[Gasps] Can you
tell him how to make

a new hamsa?
- Yes!

Tell me how to put it back.

[Screams]

Oh, crap! Ah! Hurry.

-She sold her soul to the devil.

That's why she
has so much power.

-Talk faster.

-[Fast forwarded] And
that's why your hamsa

must be equally powerful.

-Ah! He's coming! Ah!

-Let this be an
important lesson.

The devil always betrays you.

-Come on. Just tell
me how to do it!

-First, you must remember that
all worthwhile counter vigils

require a sacrifice of flesh.

- [Crashing]
- Aaaah!

[Panting]

Oh, God. I need a weapon.

Potato gun.

Potatoes.

Come on!

Come on.

[Screams]

-[Speaking indistinctly]

-Aaah!

Yes.

[Grunting]

[Whimpering]

[Glass shatter, growling]

[Screams]

[Growling]

[Growling]

[Screaming]

Shawn! Shawn! Shawn!

[Potato gun thuds]

No, no, no, no, no!

Ah! Ah! No! Ah!

[Groans]

No! Ah! No, no!

Aaah! Aah!

[Panting]

[Laughing]

Did you see that,
Internet? [Laughs]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No!

[Gasps]

Somebody help! I'm dying!

I don't even know if
I'm still streaming.

This is not the way
I imagined going out!

I was supposed to
repair my image.

I don't want to be
remembered as a douchebag.

Freaking Mildred!
She's such a C.

Maybe this is karma.
Is God smiting me?

I'm sorry. Okay?

I'm sorry.

No one can even hear me.

Need to leave a note.

"Unholy hand of power"?

"Influence others with
the power of your word."

This looks like
some kind of ritual.

This must be what she
did to sell her soul.

Who knew this was
actually a thing?

Maybe there's something else.

"Nothing changes. I am
still, still, still.

I am like the pond water.
The pond water is still!"

Pond water! That's what
the ghosts keep repeating.

She's forcing them to
memorize her poetry.

What a freaking weirdo.

She's like me. She
wants an audience.

She kept trying to get
me to read her poems.

[Gasps] And her fiancé
was a publisher.

She's not creating a family.

She's building a following.

And I bet the more
souls she collects,

the more powerful she becomes.

And what can hurt
someone like me?

Copy strike, a copy strike!

Remember when I did that
sewer surfing video,

and I started
singing "Surfin USA"?

Well, the Beach Boys record
label put a copy strike

on it and claimed all
my money for that video.

What if I put a copy strike
on Mildred? Forget the hamsa.

If I can do this same unholy
hand ritual that she did,

I can claim her revenue,
her power source.

Are you following? I can
get my soul back! [Laughs]

This looks like a Latin.

Internet, please translate
these words for me.

I'm going to need these words
by the time I get to my laptop.

[Eerie music playing]

Let's de-monetize this bitch.

♪♪

[Grunts]

[Screams]

[Screams, grunts]

[Tape tearing]

Hey, Mildred!

Believe me when I
say I understand

why you do what you do.

But in the words of my manager,

you've taken things too far.

Way too far.

[Panting]

[Laughs]

I'm still streaming!

Can you guys hear me?

You translated the
words. Thank you.

[Whispering] Death becomes
unholy with the power of my...

[Screeching]
- [Gasps]

Oh, crap.

Thank you so much, Internet.

Wrathies, I don't
have a lot of time,

but I think it's
probably pretty obvious

to everyone that I'm not going
to make it out of here alive.

And I just wanted to
thank you for helping me

and supporting me.

The truth is I think
I've known for a while

that I've been crossing a line.

I wish I could go back and
change some stuff, but I can't.

And so I wanted to apologize,
but for realsies this time.

I'm sorry to everyone
I've hurt with my stunts.

It was wrong of me
to pay a homeless man

to fight me for a video.

He seemed so much bigger
than me, and I didn't think

I could actually hurt him.

But I apologize for hurting him.

But what I didn't apologize for

was for thinking of
it in the first place.

And also, I want to
apologize to the minorities.

A lot of you thought
that I was making light

of a serious situation

when I got smuggled
across the border.

That wasn't funny.

I mean, it was, but
for the wrong reasons.

And I'm sorry.

I have been racially and
culturally insensitive.

But I've learned,
and I've grown.

In fact, I'd like to
dedicate this broadcast

to the Blacks and Mexicans.

This is for you.

[Music playing]

This is Shawn Ruddy
promising you the most

cinematic experience
in live streaming.

Mildred! I'm waiting!

My soul is waiting!

Fine.

[Music stops]

[Clears throat]

"Echo my heart. Echo my
soul. Bring my voice... "

[Thunder rumbling]

"Blackbirds roam,
their voices moan."

I mean, some of these
are pretty good.

Not.

[Hissing]

[Door creaks]

[Whimpering]

-[Screams]

Hey, little guy.

I'm not gonna hurt you.

I think we can both
agree that mommy's

a little bit nuts, right?

I was thinking maybe
we could join f...

[Screams]

Ah!

[Thudding]

-Shawn!

-[Grunts]

You're going to face me yourself
or just send your child army

after me like a
frickin' PewDiePie?

-Shawny. Come get me.

-You come get me!

- You come get me.
- Opposite!

I'll find you in
the hallway cam.

[Gasps] What the hell is that?

Ah!

Corner Man, I saw you!

[Snarling]

Ah! [Laughs]

I got you, you lazy...

Okay. Wait, wait,
wait. Wait, no!

[Screams]

Garlic!

Garlic is bullshit!

- [Mumbling indistinctly]

[Pounding]
- Ah!

-Shawn?

[Knocking lightly]

Shawn, I'm scared.

Help me, please. You
hurt me real bad.

-That's not gonna work, Mildred.

[Door handle rattling]

-[Gasps]

Oh, shit.

Mildred!

Maybe I can help. I
have the Internet.

There's a lot of nice people on
the Internet that like to help.

No, no, no, no, no.

No.

[Tapping]

Come on. Turn on.

Turn on!

-Shawn.

I want you to meet someone.

[Indistinct whispering]

-[Gasps] What?!

Help!

This feels so good.

[Laughs]

[Bubbling]

Hey.

No way.

- [Laughing]
- Mm.

Mm-hmm.
- [Laughing]

No! Mildred!

The pond water is still.

[Indistinct whispering]

Mildred, no! No!
- [Laughs]

-[Gurgling]

[Gurgling]

No, Mildred!

I am the influencer!

Ah!

[Laughs]

[Gasps]

-[Growls]

-[Screams]

- [Snarling]
- Aaaah!

[Grunts]

[Screaming]

[Laughs]

Garlic may not work on ghosts.

But if there's one thing
the movies have taught me,

it's that holy water will f...

[Water sloshing]

I'm gonna kill her.

Again.

[Gasps]

[Panting]

Watch your hands! Gotcha!

-[Mildred laughing]

-[Screams]

[Grunting]

[Screaming]

No!
- Smash it!

Shawn.

-[Screams]

-[Laughing]

Aaah!

[Screaming]

[Whimpering]

[Sobs]

[Beeping]

[Gasps]

[Thunder rumbling]

-[Mildred groans]

[Eerie music plays]

[Chuckles]

Okay.

-Surprise, bitch!

[Thud]

[Tape tearing]

Goodbye, Mildred.

I hope you enjoy hell.

Death becomes unholy with
the power of my unholy hand.

I use the power of my will,

my words, my
passion, my ambition,

and my authority
to take the souls

of this house and
bind them to me!

-[Laughs]

Wait, wait. No, no,
no. Wait, wait, wait.

[Thuds]

Why?! No!

[Screams]

No!

[Screams]

[Screaming]

[Blows landing]

[Gagging]

[Screams]

No!

[Grunts]

- [Roars]
- [Screams]

-[Growls]

-[Screams]

-Bad Shawny.

-[Screams]

-[Laughing]

[Shouting indistinctly]

[Thudding]

-[Screeches]

-I don't understand
what happened.

I said the words.

-I'm coming to get...

-Ow.

What does she want?

It's over.

-Subscribe.

-Goodbye, Internet.

I'm sorry I let you down.

-[Groans]

-That's that nasty finger.

What is it with
Mildred and fingers?

[Mildred groaning]

-A sacrifice of flesh.

That old lady said
that the cult rituals

require a sacrifice of flesh.

[Mildred groaning]

That's Mildred's finger.

Hey, Millie!

I'm about to put a ripple
in your pond water.

Death becomes unholy with
the power of my unholy hand.

I use the power of my
will, my words, my passion,

my ambition, and my authority!

To take the souls
of this house...

[Crunching]
- [Screams]

And bind them...

[Grunts]

to me!

[Screams]

[Screaming]

[Screaming]

[Laughing]

[Belches]

[Whimpering]

[Clanging]

[Sighs]

[Laughing]

I did it! [Groans]

Oh.

[Tape tearing]

[Triumphant music plays]

I did it.

No, we did it!

We beat this house! [Laughs]

I just want to take a minute
and think all of my fans.

I'm getting a little emosh.

We beat this house,
you guys! [Laughs]

Suck on that, Huffington Post!

[Laughs] Ow!

Oh, my leg is definitely broken.

[Laughs]

I told you!

No one off you a more cinematic
experience in live streaming.

I, Shawn Ruddy, am once again

the number one
live streamer in...

- [Indistinct muttering]
- [Gasps]

[Growling]

-[Screams]

[Growling]

-[Screams]

No!

-[Growls]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

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