Dead Souls (2018) - full transcript

What crime did they accuse you of?

They said a few words,
but they were spoken hastily.

It was just chitchat.

When they condemn you,
they give you no explanations.

They just say that
you are a rightist element.

And you remain one
until you're rehabilitated.

When they examine
the remarks you've made,

they claim you have made
certain remarks!

They blamed so much on me
that I knew nothing about!

When you got access to your file,

what did it say?



For the rehabilitation inquiry
they asked me:

"Were you re-educated?"
"No."

"Did you go to the study sessions
at the police station?"

"No."

"Did you have a court ruling?"
"No."

So they explained to me
that previously, the law stipulated

that to charge someone
with being a rightist,

they needed at least
the local government's approval.

That's how it worked.

In my case,
nobody had approved anything.

He asked me if I'd seen the approval.

But there had been no approval.

The decision had been taken
by one of those teams of 5 people

who fought against the rightists.



They took the decision
without consulting any superiors.

It was the same story
for everyone in Tianshui.

That's how it happened.

The harshest remarks
I had made were about

the China Democratic League.

I said they were
a bunch of incompetents

who had done nothing when
the new constitution was drawn up.

I didn't say anything else
of that nature.

Were many rightists named
at your school?

No.

In the very beginning,

Wang Jianshan was the only one.

At first, he was the only one
in the whole establishment.

Afterwards, they began to name
two rightists every two days,

with no reason
and without approval.

You were summoned and you left
to work and be re-educated.

Were you the only one from your
school to be sent to Jiabiangou?

There were 5 or 6 of us.

I was the first one to return.

From the school...

there was also Gu Huimin,
he was the last to return.

He was the last one
to come back from Jiabiangou.

Also, Yang Shihua,
who had escaped one year before.

Did the others die there?

Nearly all of them.

Some cases
you could just about understand,

but Xiao Shuyi
from the n°1 high school,

we never understood his case.
He had said absolutely nothing

and yet, he was charged
with being a rightist.

"Dogs that look docile,
are the most fierce."

That was their reason

for charging Xiao Shuyi.

Is he still alive?

He couldn't bare
to be condemned a rightist,

he preferred to commit suicide.

The months that I was at Jiabiangou,
the situation wasn't that bad.

We were hungry,
but things were still alright.

However, once I had left that place,

the situation got worse and people
became more and more hungry.

People began to eat cracked millet.

But afterwards,
they could no longer defecate.

They had to be helped.

To take it all out with a chopstick,
even if the anus was totally damaged.

Nobody had regular movements.

That didn't happen to me,
I had already left.

When I left,

I was transferred
from Jiabiangou to Qingshui.

I slept in Qingshui station
before continuing the journey.

The journey from Qingshui to Lanzhou.

How did they know
that you could fix cameras?

They had put up
an announcement in the camp.

Then, they came and I did a test.

I spoke of my experience
and they wrote it all down.

Three months later,
I was transferred to Lanzhou.

Compared to Jiabiangou,
it was night and day!

We had 24 kilos of grains
per person, per month.

And the work wasn't tiring.

We even had time for ourselves.

Whereas in Jiabiangou,
the cereal ration

was a few hundred grams per day.

And the work was very hard.

Life hangs by a thin thread!

Those two worlds
had nothing in common.

Tell me a bit about life
in Dashapin prison.

I spent my days checking
and repairing photographic cameras.

The prison wanted
to refurbish cameras.

One day, a man arrived from Shanghai.

Unfortunately our lenses
were not polished correctly.

We didn't have much success.

The head of our Culture
and Education section,

Chen Bozhang,
was also away on a trip.

On the day we left, at the station,
there was a big pile of books.

I couldn't even manage to lift them.

I said to him:
"You should burn them all!"

"We must re-educate ourselves
and leave here new men!

"I can't learn here,
I'll be able to study better there."

Before leaving Jiabiangou,
I saw Chen Bozhong.

It was four months
since we had arrived.

He'd taken his bedcover outside,
into the sunshine.

An unusual bedcover!

Usually, the quilt is white,
but his was gray.

A gray trimming.

I thought to myself:
the trimming of his cover is gray.

I went over to him.

It wasn't his cover that was gray,

it was just covered in lice!

That made it look gray,

but in fact,
it was covered in lice.

"Don't they make you scratch?"
"I don't feel anything anymore."

In my opinion,
he had already lost his mind.

Could you tell us about
your younger brother?

It was not long after I had left.

I was already at Lanzhou
when they sent him to Jiabiangou.

He wrote to me when I was at Lanzhou.

He explained to me that he'd arrived
and wanted to be re-educated.

Was he a rightist?

- Was he a rightist?
- Yes.

Why had he been charged
with being a rightist?

He had been named a rightist.

For what reason?

Go ask the rightists
why they were charged,

not many of them know the answer.

My brother worked at the
Bureau of Culture and Education.

- The Bureau of Tianshui?
- Yes.

In the district government.

When did he die in Jiabiangou?

I don't know.

They sent a notice
for his belongings to be collected.

The notice said he was dead,
without saying when he had died.

Did they send you
his personal belongings?

They sent...

a padded jacket.

Who looked after his family?

They looked after themselves.

His wife left...

As the situation here
was impossible,

she left with a guy from Shaanxi,
from Xi'an.

She took two
of her children with her.

She took two of them,
and left one here.

He still lives here, in Xiguan.

He's okay, he's doing quite well.

Of the two children she took
to Xi'an, one of them died.

She also died there, in Xi'an.

I'm over 70 years old, now.

Back then,
I was only about 20.

If I had been more unfortunate,

I might be there now,
long reduced to dust.

I would like to know whether
we were wrongdoers or not.

We naively let ourselves
be taken away.

There, we were flawed people.

Completely flawed.

After rehabilitation,
it was as if nothing had happened.

In my file, there were only
a few words scribbled down

on a piece of paper.

"Isn't that you?"
"My crime, this piece of paper?"

What took me there?

Nothing.
A rightist? I wasn't one.

Anti-revolutionary?
That wasn't my case.

All those years of good and loyal
services that I'd given the Party!

Barely graduated, I became
a volunteer for the Great North-West.

I was rehabilitated
over 30 years ago.

I am well-educated
with moral qualities.

I'm even quite talented
at teaching math.

If it wasn't for my age,
I'd still be teaching.

What did I do wrong?
I would like to be told!

I would like to be shown.

I said something

at the time
of the Anti-Rightist fight.

They asked us
to do a critique of the Party.

If you said only good things
you weren't credible.

So I said it had some faults.

I said: "The Party is sometimes
a bit too distanced from the masses."

I was done for.

I was so naive.

They kindly explained to me that
I was being sent there for 6 months

and that when I returned,
I'd get my job and salary back.

All that, with no
administrative procedure.

That was in October!

The decision to send me there
was taken in October 1958.

The day before,
I was still giving lessons.

On October 1, I'd even been
to dance, for the national holiday.

You give the class, you go dancing

and the next day,
you leave to melt steel!

My bags were ready when
the studies director said to me:

"Professor Zhao, wait a moment."
"What is it?"

He told me to come closer.

"In the past, you were ready
to join the laborers,

and to work with the peasants.

I'm going to give you
that opportunity."

I was happy!

At the time, you had to "work
with the laborers and peasants."

Why deprive yourself of that?

But when I wanted
to join the others,

they had all already left.

I asked many times.

I was naive.

I was blinded by my ideals.

Some people tried to tell me:
"The school doesn't want you anymore!

Find another job, elsewhere.
What's the point of insisting?"

"That's out of the question.
I intend to remain a teacher."

I put on airs, I was a teacher!

I imagined myself back in my job
six months later.

As I didn't let up on the school,

they asked an employee
to accompany me.

The public security
changed my place of residence

and got an employee
from the school to accompany me.

I was very happy during the journey.

I was relocated
and I didn't mind that.

My family lost their right
to grain tickets

though my children
were still very young.

When I boarded the train,
I burst into tears.

I realized I was leaving
my country and my family.

On the way...

My wife and three children
accompanied me.

I stumbled forward,
with difficulty.

I got down on my knees
and I said:

"For better or for worse,
I am leaving.

I'm no longer a resident here,
I won't live off you.

I'm leaving!"

Jaw clenched, not turning back,
I boarded the train.

Suitcases in hand, I left.

When I reached Lanzhou,
getting off the train,

a swarm of people
wanted my suitcases!

Why?
They were there to recruit.

One wanted an accountant,

another an office worker,

someone said to me:
"Come and work in our factory!

Come with us!"

And I thought to myself
I'll go nowhere,

because in 6 months time,
I'll be home.

They took my suitcases
and I ran after them.

This farce lasted
for more than one hour

until we were able
to continue our journey.

We found some peace and quiet.

Another train took us
laboriously to Jiuquan.

We stayed in Jiuquan for two days

before an old vehicle
took us to Jiabiangou.

And then,
when I entered the office,

it was a real farce.

They thought I was escorting
the employee and wanted to keep him.

They wished me a safe journey back.
Do you see the irony of it?

And the other guy protesting:
"I'm escorting him!"

"Who is escorting who, here?"

It began with that comical moment.

Once I got to those barren lands,
I began to wonder.

Li Jinghang was there.

Ren Jiwen, too.

As I hadn't eaten for 3 days,

I began to eat my supplies.

Ren Jiwen offered me his soup:
"Zhao, you have to eat!

You won't last
for long like that.

Look at the state of us!"

They bemoaned
and I began to regret.

I had brought many things with me.

A watch, a woolen coat,
jumpers and long johns.

A blanket and even
my handsome fountain pen.

Because I'd gone there to study!

To toughen up through physical work.

Except that I'd been fooled.

I had even bravely announced
that I had come

to this farm for exercise.

"You are here to be re-educated!"
they said to me.

That's when I understood my mistake.

I came back on February 2nd 1961.

I stayed there for 2 years
and 3 months.

Out of the 2,500 people,
2,200 of them died there.

Over 300 people came from Tianshui
but only around 20 of them came back.

Of those of us who lived
alongside the train tracks,

there were 100 of us,
I'm the only survivor.

Throughout this period,

the reality of the situation
and the psychological pressure,

were things we never
told our families.

We didn't dare write about it.

The envelopes had to stay open.

We could only say good things.

Even if you'd lost all hope,
you had to give some to your family.

"Everything is fine.
I'll be home in 6 months."

They always thought
that all was well for me.

"I'm fine. I have all I need."
We didn't dare say anything.

After 6 months,

I managed to go in secret to Gaotai.

I went to someone's house
and managed to write to my family.

When they read my letter,
they understood!

I'd been conned.

I'd deluded myself
as much as I'd deluded my family.

I arrived at the camp in 1960.

At the end of 1961,
people began to die.

You went there in 1958, didn't you?

Yes, in 1958!

At the end of 1959,
people began to die.

The wheat we had planted
had only produced two grains.

The soil was highly alkaline.

We were meant to dig ditches
to drain the alkali.

At 4 meters deep,
there was still just as much of it!

There was nothing to be done.

At first, there were many of us.

We went to work
at the foundries in Jiuquan,

we set the electricity poles.

At the start of '59, we were still
alright. We had some brown bread.

But later on that year,
we only had soup left.

The farm had entered into
a contract with the state

and we declared ourselves
self-sufficient.

We committed to providing our own
food and giving a quota to the state.

When they heard this,

the state had no more
reason to help us.

Towards the end of the year,

wild vegetables, turnips
and other vegetables,

had become our daily food.

That's when I finally woke up.
I realized I'd been conned.

What had I come here for?

When we were at the steel mill,

Yang Shihua,
the head of high school n°3,

who died last year...

The blast furnaces,

the electric poles,
the excavation...

He shouted from a platform:
"Go on, go on!"

We lifted up the stones.

Some people lifted
a basket of stones like that.

But others lifted two,
or three, even four!

Why? Because you were given
an extra bowl to eat.

The men exhausted themselves.

If we gritted our teeth,
2 of us could lift 2 baskets.

At the 3rd one,
I could no longer feel my legs.

It was mostly the young men
that died there.

I didn't show off my strength,
I didn't have any.

That's how I survived.

That is a simplistic way
of telling a very long story.

From early 1960,
nothing grew anymore.

We blamed it on the seeds.

The management told us
to plant sunflower.

We ate the seeds
and planted the shells!

And the potatoes! In the afternoon
we buried the sprouts

in the evening, we dug them up

to eat them.

Nothing grew!

The wheat only grew this high
with at most two grains per ear.

That's when people began to die.

We moved to Gaotai-Mingshui

where it was even worse.

Gaotai...

There were people
from all over the country.

There was nothing to eat and we
swapped that nothing for... that!

They didn't sell any!

We learnt that our families
were also in need.

What they sent to us,
they took from their own mouths!

A few biscuits, some pancakes...

and most often,
they sent us a kilo of bread.

But when we opened the packet,
only a quarter of it was left.

Someone had eaten it on the way.

How could we complain to our families
who were also in need.

My wife was strict with the children.

She told them:
"Leave some for your father!"

Just so I could have a bread roll
that she dried to send to me.

I remember my elder sister
who stayed in Zhangjiakou,

who saved me the eggs
from her chickens.

She cooked them
and sent them to me.

But when they arrived,
they were rotten.

When they sent us money,
it was confiscated.

They had to take care
to hide it well in the package.

We had a bit of money
but nothing to buy!

There was nothing to buy.

You might have 30 yuans
and not be able to buy anything.

When people started to die,

we placed them on an old plank
with a mat.

We carried them.

Then, in the end, the men thought:

"Today, I'm the carrier.
Tomorrow, will I be carried?"

So nobody took care
of the dead anymore!

Afterwards, we moved to Gaotai
where we lived in caves!

There, in the caves...

life was reduced to warming ourselves
in the sun, when there was any.

We were filthy,
and our hair was a sight!

We looked anything but human.

We had nothing to eat

and people died for three reasons.

The 1st reason was hunger.

Then it was our morale

and the 3rd,
the psychological pressure.

One day,
you saw one of your companions die

and you wondered
whether it would be you next.

The more you thought about it,
the more terrified you were.

In the cave,
as soon as one person died,

we put them outside.

At the door to the cave.

Then, another living person
was let in.

One stormy or snowy night
was enough

to bring more deaths.

I don't know how many
people I saw die!

I helped take them out.

Shortly afterwards,
neighboring peasants

came to strip their clothes
from their bodies.

To be frank,

they looked like bled pigs
with their bare skin.

They were abandoned in the desert.

That's the level of cruelty
that we were exposed to.

I can tell you a story.

There was a woman from the North-East

who must have worked in Xi'an.

She arrived at the camp
with her 3 children.

That was before we came
to Gaotai-Mingshui.

When we realized
why she had come,

nobody dared talk to her.

"I've come to see my husband,
where is he?" she said.

We all avoided answering her

because he was dead.

We told her to ask
one of the managers.

We didn't know the director

but there was a manager
by the name of Yan.

A large chap.

In the end, he said to her:

"I have to tell you,
you husband is dead."

"Where is he buried?

I couldn't see him alive,
I must see his remains."

How could we show her?
Nobody knew where he was.

The wolves might have eaten him
or God knows who else...

Now that she'd lost her husband,

and as she was there with her
packages, she decided to stay.

"Look after my children,
I'm going to stay here.

I won't cost you anything",
she said.

She had bought many things

and she began praying
for her dead husband.

She made offerings
of incense and other things.

She dressed in the rags of an
old sheet and cried for her husband.

Then, she said again:
"I won't leave."

Her 3 children were gathered
around her, and she said to them:

"Your father has died
and your mother is not worthy of you.

You will stay here.
Your destiny will decide the rest."

Then, she ran towards a pole,
there were no trees!

And she hung herself.

Luckily,
we were able to prevent the worst.

After she'd been saved,
she stayed for 3 more days.

She had a train ticket
but she wouldn't leave.

We all tried to convince her.

"Leave here quickly,
this isn't a place for you.

You have enough worries
with your three kids.

Look at us, a gang of devils!

Black hands, black faces,
hairy and ragged.

What do we do in the sun,
against the wall?

We rid ourselves of lice!"

It's impossible
to get rid of those bugs!

In my country, we say:

"Debt is like lice, the more
you have, the less it itches."

1 or 2 and it itches,
any more and the itching stops.

We had no small brush
so we dusted them off with our hands.

There's nothing to be done with lice.

I wasn't spared.

I had extra pairs of trousers
but I didn't dare wear them.

They would have undergone
the same fate, immediately.

So, I stayed as I was
and dusted myself.

I had one obsession: there was
no way I was going to die here!

They could all die,
I would not!

I gritted my teeth...
I will not die here!

That's all I could think about.

I had trouble walking
but I was still alright.

Others couldn't manage anymore.

I want to tell you one more thing.

As we had nothing to eat,
we'd buy salt crystals.

It felt like we were eating
when we sucked them.

But the salt
had far too much sodium

and our legs swelled.

Our arms were like matchsticks
and our legs were huge.

Impossible to crouch down
and even harder to get up again.

We had to defecate, even if
we waited as long as we could.

We had to get into this position.

With our heads down,
we could manage.

It took us so long
that we couldn't get up again.

With our heads on the ground,
we pulled up our trousers.

But we had no more strength
to do them up.

That's why we walked with a limp,

like prisoners,
holding our trousers up.

We went back and collapsed

in the sleeping area
covered in a little grass.

Who knows what kind of grass!

We returned to our straw mats,
indifferent to everything.

We were paralyzed.

Lifeless mind, lifeless heart,
and lifeless body.

That same year, at the end of 1960,
I escaped.

I escaped twice.

In July-August, I said to myself:

if I have to die,
may it at least be outside.

To see my family once more.

In any case,
death is waiting for me.

Some cunning people fled.

If a train went past
and it was a slow train,

the bravest people climbed aboard
and went to Xinjiang.

Others waited for another train.

I had no family in Xinjiang.

The first time,
I made it to Zhangye.

That was one milestone reached.

But there, I bumped into our
manager who had come to Zhangye!

How did he know that I had escaped?

He went to find the militia
who handcuffed me.

Like a criminal.

Back at the camp,
my belongings had disappeared.

It was still cold!

Fortunately, I wasn't punished.
They just removed the handcuffs.

I had nothing left,
only the daily bowl of gruel.

Let me tell you, that very night,
by the light of the moon,

I prostrated myself on the dune
more than once!

I got down on my knees
even if I'm not religious,

and I implored Heaven.

I hadn't done anything wrong.

After my studies, I was a volunteer
for the Great North-West.

Even if I was young and pretentious,
young and romantic,

I'd done nothing wrong.

Why should I die here?
I fell to my knees and I prayed.

I prostrated myself so many times
that my forehead was sore.

Each time, I begged not to die here.

Let me see my family again.

Why had my escape failed?

It was the end of the year
and more and more people were dying.

I could still walk
and I decided to leave.

This time I'd succeed.

I didn't dare go home.

In the train, I pretended to be dead.

I told the ticket inspector
that I had no ticket, I'd run away.

My fate was in his hands
and he could throw me on the tracks,

but if he had a heart,
he'd leave me alone

and understand that I was hungry.

The passengers asked me
if I was an escaped criminal.

I'd done nothing illegal, I reflected
the country, completely diminished.

After 2 and a half days,
I reached Pekin.

My sister was there.

She worked for the railways

and lived behind Fuxingmen.

When I got to my sister's house,
she didn't recognize me.

"What is going on?"
"Nothing good."

I spent three days
sleeping and eating.

I went to places
where there were canteens.

I waited until the meal was over,

I looked for those who didn't finish
and held out my bowl.

"Don't you want anymore?"
I held out my bowl.

I spent two weeks like that.

My sister fed me too
but I couldn't eat much.

A month and a half later,
I could walk again.

I bought my train ticket
and I went home.

The very next day,

the local committee found out.
For them, I was an escaped prisoner.

They wanted to arrest me.

I couldn't stay at my house.

I begged them
not to give my wife any trouble.

And I left.

I took some money,
a few supplies,

and I left before daybreak.

Come in!
Professor Pang, it's you!

So I took the train
to go back to the camp.

I remember a guy from Xi'an
who came to see a relative.

His brother was at Mingshui.

He had brought him
some food from Xi'an.

I was warming myself in the sun
when he asked for him.

I said to him: "Your brother..."

At first,
I tried to hide the truth from him.

But in the end, I told him:

"Your brother died.
There's nothing to hope for."

"Really?", he said.

"Several thousand people
have died here that I don't know.

I knew your brother,
I'm certain of that."

"I want to see his tomb!"
"That's impossible."

"If you want to do something,
pray to Heaven.

"Your intention as the elder brother
will be heard."

He looked at me and I said:

"Night is coming.
We are a few kilometers from Gaotai,

you can take the train there.
However, you must cross the desert,

and the ground is covered in
brambles on these winding trails.

I've done the journey several times,
I will guide you.

Don't worry about me,
I don't mind taking the risk."

He agreed.

We got to Gaotai in the dark
of night, at around 8 PM.

He said to me: "I'm hungry.
I have a few ration tickets left,

I'll take you to a restaurant."

Help yourself!

I couldn't refuse.

Please, make yourself at home!

After the dinner, he questioned me
on the station platform.

I told him everything, from the
school to my arrival at the camp.

He said it was
the same story for his brother.

Then, I told him
to board the train quickly.

He understood my situation.

"You have a good heart",
he said to me.

"My brother is dead
and I won't leave with this food."

He had some pancakes
and roasted flour ready.

He had one 2.5 kg bag of flour
and more than 1 kilo of pancakes.

He wanted to give it all to me.

"What about you,
what will you do if you're hungry?"

"I won't eat on the way.
I'll get to Xi'an quickly.

For my family, life is not so hard.

And we can buy things on the train."

I said to him:
"You're saving my life!"

He gave me his address
to go and visit him.

I told him that
if I got out of there, I would.

We were emotional.

He left me the pancakes
and the roasted flour.

"I've got some ration tickets left.

Here are 5 kilos of grains
in ration tickets."

He gave them to me
and I bowed before him 3 times.

"You weren't able to save
your brother, but you saved my skin."

"Stand up quickly!"
"Thanks to you, I am saved."

He had indeed saved my life.

I ate economically
and made it last for two weeks.

A small amount, day after day.

Then, the order came!

We all had to go back
to our work units.

The order was given.

Everyone began to send
telegrams and to write

for people to come for us.

Someone was authorized
to go send our telegrams in Jiuquan

or in Gaotai.

A few days later,
our families arrived.

That didn't stop
some people dying.

You thought: "my family
will be here tomorrow."

And that was too much excitement.

One icy night was enough
for your family to find you dead.

There were many cases like that.

Some people, who walked to the
station helped by their families,

never made it.
They died along the way.

Death was just
a blown out lamp.

I was on a slow train.

My son was still young.

I looked like a regular offender
with my ragged clothes.

There were no seats
so we camped in the toilets.

A peasant must have
forgotten his potatoes.

There was a small bag
of potatoes hanging up.

Its owner must have forgotten it.

I thought: it doesn't matter
if people think I'm a thief,

and I took 2 potatoes...

Well, stole 2!

They were this big.

One for the kid, one for me.

But I was seen,
and somebody cried thief!

The train manager heard
and made us get off.

It was a small station
before Zhangye.

He made us get off immediately

and shut the door behind us.

I realized I'd left my belongings
on the train.

What would we do without money?

I took the kid and lifted him up.

There were handles on each side.

He held the one on the left,
and me the one on the right.

With my other arm,
I held on to him tight.

I said to him:
"Hold on tight, it's not hot,

but whatever happens,
don't fall asleep!

It will be windy,
but the wind mustn't carry us off.

Otherwise,
they'll find us in pieces."

We waited to get to a big station
to go back inside the train.

You...

I don't know why.

When we were encouraged
to speak freely,

I didn't say much.

I didn't say anything in particular.

I expressed myself about a suspect.

I made a moderate criticism.

A few unpretentious words.

But then,

they revealed
things said in private.

And that got me criticized.

Then I was told
I had to leave,

although no meeting
had ever declared me a rightist.

The qualification of rightist
had to be proclaimed in a meeting.

"Let him take the rap!"
Then, you knew where you stood.

I had none of that.

No such decision.

The day I left,
I was given a piece of paper.

The school principal,
An Hongsheng,

and the Party Secretary,
He Guoxiang,

took me to one side
to give me this paper.

"The civil administration
has removed you from your position

and sends you for re-education.

As you're going to Jiabiangou,
do your change of residence."

Your fate was settled in a few words.

A piece of paper!

I took this paper with me

and gave it
to an official in Jiabiangou.

Han,
the head of Propaganda & Education.

I tried to ask questions,

but challenging a verdict
meant a double punishment.

And my punishment was likely
to be commuted to a prison sentence.

I didn't protest.

I didn't even dare ask
why I was there.

Later,
when the rehabilitations occurred,

I tried, in vain, to find out more.

The former school principal

and the others

told me to drop it.

So, I put up with it.

At that time,
I had already resumed my teaching.

I came home in 1961.

When I was released

in January 1961,

I spent 6 months in the hospital
to get back on my feet.

Then, I came back here,
to Shijiazhuang.

A month and a half later,
the school sent me a telegram

asking me to be there
for the start of the year.

That's when I went back to work.

When I asked
if I'd been rehabilitated,

they asked me
if I had been tried.

I had to resume my classes
as if nothing ever happened.

It was in June 1958,

the 6th day of the 5th month
of the lunar calendar,

that I arrived in Jiabiangou.

As I was telling you earlier,

I joined the construction team there.

At first, it was OK.

But I remember
that as of October,

some tough guys,
like Zhao Zhenfang,

went to extract gypsum
or work in foundries.

As it was physically beyond me,

I was sent to Xintiandun.

In Xintiandun, I was assigned
to agricultural team no. 6.

No, it was no. 7
or rather no. 5!

I stayed there till the spring.

In March or April,

Propaganda & Education

sent me to raise rabbits
in Jiabiangou.

This farm

was called the "hutch"!

And "Hutch" became my nickname.

I think his name was Zhao.

Yes, I think it was Zhao.

This old man lived in Qinghai
before being sent to Lanzhou.

He was from Shanghai.

We both looked after the rabbits

until 1959

and even until 1960.

Then, I was told
that my rabbits died too fast.

This Zhao...

I forget everything!
What was his first name?

Don't try to find him.

He died ages ago.

He survived the camp.

After I left the farm,

I got sick

and found myself
in the infirmary.

That was in October 1960

when everyone was going
to Mingshui,

the new farm.

As they were checking our health,

I went along with my luggage.

My luggage was a few clothes
and a blanket.

I was examined and told:

"You're not going!"

And I got a lecture.

"With your health?
Fall out!"

I didn't say anything.
I waited to one side.

They all went to Mingshui,
and I stayed here.

The head of the infirmary
Chen Zaotang, kept me.

His name is written "Tang",
the "Tang" character.

His hand is trembling.

You see?

Chen Zaotang drew me aside.

The others left.

"Gu Huimin!

Go to infirmary no. 3."

I thought I'd get treated.

In fact, I stayed till the end.

I came home from there.

So, despite the years
spent in Jiabiangou,

I don't know much.

We knew nothing
about one another.

For example, what criticism
had LAN Jingrong made?

We didn't know.

Zhao Zhenfang and I
were like brothers.

We could have talked
about the reason for our detention.

Any exchange of information
was strictly forbidden.

We couldn't talk
about our own cases.

Strictly forbidden!
We risked public criticism.

When the first prisoners
arrived in the camp,

we took into account
their physical condition.

The assignments
were still relevant.

But when 2,000 men
arrived at once,

they didn't pick and choose.
Everyone found themselves

digging desalination trenches.

People from Tianshui
generally did those jobs.

They were better fed
and were even given a few coins.

Whereas we were once given
1 yuan, that's all.

Our hair and beards
were this long.

We had no money
to get our hair cut.

In winter, we had
frostbite on our feet.

How it hurt.
I was going to see Li Jinghang.

He'd been at the camp for ages
and worked in the carpentry shop,

because he knew a bit about it.

I could warm myself up
with a foot bath.

In his book
"This Time Spent in God's Grace",

he says he feeds me.

Did you read his book?

He says he feeds Gu Huimin.

I often went to warm up there.

We were in the same teaching group
in High School no. 1.

We taught mathematics
and industrial design.

I taught industrial design.

In Jiabiangou,
he became a carpenter.

I never asked any questions.

I never said:
"What are you doing here?"

And he knew nothing about me.

Who dared speak?

The team leaders were intractable.

They sent you
to mow a plot of 13 ares.

You were supposed to mow it
and bring it all back.

Woe betide anyone
who left any behind!

You also plowed 13 ares.

In winter, on the 12th moon,

without warm underwear,

I worked till late.

Fortunately,
I had a very kind team leader.

"Gu Huimin, are you done?"
"Almost."

"When you've finished,
come see me."

He'd kept me some food.

Others would have said:
"You have the nerve to ask?

Eat your shit!"

And you'd go hungry.

The team leaders?

Some were fair.

You had to deal
with all these people.

The teams were made up

of 40 or 50 men.

Each team had its leader
surrounded by some helpers.

There were good team leaders,

but most of them were ruthless.

They weren't all bad.
I met some very good ones.

But although I met some good ones,

I also saw many scenes...

I always went to get my food
later than the others,

because I'd noticed
that you got more.

And once, in the kitchens,
I saw a man tied up.

It's true that in the teams,

the men didn't always work very hard,

but some leaders were too strict.

If you read "Bitter Sun",

you'll see how
Wang Jin treated his men.

Wang Jin and I
had been colleagues

for 4 years.

It was under Ren Jiwen's leadership.

The account talks
about a certain Zhang.

A team leader named Zhang.

I'd never met him.

Mind you, I was in Jiabiangou
whereas he was in Xintiandun.

Men were treated hard
in Xintiandun.

As an annex,
his management was different.

But the most deaths
were in Mingshui.

Initially, there were 2,700 of us.

I know this because
I was Han's "pencil pusher".

There must have been 2,500
or 2,700 of us, my memory fails me.

When I came back to Tianshui,
there was almost no-one left.

One day,
Ma Yaozu asked:

"Seen Han? He came to find me,
but I sent him back to you.

"I asked him
how many had survived.

"He said

"just over 500."

Take, say,
team no. 6 in Xintiandun.

The team leader was very hard.

Really hard!

I wasn't under him,
but I saw him at work.

He was dreadful.

I witnessed his behavior.

I don't know
if others mentioned him,

but I saw it with my own eyes.

There was a teacher

from Wuwei.

I happened to know him.

Like me, he'd taught
at Zhangye Normal School.

At the time, Zhangye
was my first assignment.

So we had been colleagues.

He graduated
from Beijing Normal University.

He came from
Northwest Normal University

and had spent 2 years in Beijing,
after the victory over Japan.

After graduation, he was sent
to Zhangye Normal School,

then to Wuwei
before being called a rightist.

I saw him again
at Xintiandun camp.

His face was swollen like this,
so were his legs.

"What's wrong, old Xie?"
His name was Xie Jianhong.

"What put you in this state?"
"I'm sick."

"You must ask for time off."
"It's not allowed."

I asked around
and found out that his leader

called him lazy
and said he was unwilling to work.

Actually, he was sick.
You just had to see his face.

One day,
at the first moon,

we had to manure the fields.

So, we had to carry baskets
full of manure.

As he was too weak,
he was told to fill the baskets.

Fill the baskets
for others to carry.

It was full of stones,
so it was very heavy.

Someone strong

could fill a basket
in 2 spadefuls.

He wasn't strong enough
and couldn't keep up.

In the end, he gave up
and took to his heels.

He went to hide in the dormitory.

The wind was very strong,
much stronger than here.

We could hardly stand.

I said to myself:
"Let's go see Xie Jianhong."

"Why are you here?"
"I hear you got a parcel."

"Here, I got some cigarettes."
"No, thanks, you keep them."

He was lying on his straw mattress.

Like this, on the floor.

I went over and asked:

"What's the matter with you?"

I took the cigarettes from his pocket

and lit one for him
and one for me.

He'd hardly had any
when his team leader came.

"Xie Jianhong!

What are you doing here?
Get to work!"

He grabbed him.

"Chief, he's sick!"

"I don't care!"

And he stood him up.

I insisted:
"He's sick, I'll go instead."

"You shouldn't be here.
Go back to your team!"

I was in team no. 5.
I don't know what team he was in.

At noon, I went to get news
and came across my team leader.

"Gu Huimin, go cover the manure."

If we didn't cover it,
it would blow away.

I got down to it till noon,
then went to get news.

Xie Jianhong was on the floor.

Duan, the doctor, was there.

Duan was also a camp rightist.

"Dr. Duan?"

He was dead.

Today it's hard to say
what his sickness was,

but for me, if he hadn't been abused,
he'd still be alive.

That's one abuse I witnessed.

I saw many people tied up.
I quickly changed direction.

What good
would getting involved do?

That's pretty much all I know.

Me and my rabbits

lived a quiet, uneventful life.

We are believers.

Do you know Li Jinghang?

He's a believer, too.

We're the same.

I got through it
and don't deal with all that anymore.

It's better to let
the Lord handle it!

During the years I spent there,
of course I suffered.

We had severe frostbite.
Our fingers were all white.

The lesions bled,
and bandages didn't help.

I tried applying an ointment
I got in Lanzhou.

For a yuan, you got some.

I spent a yuan
on some ointment,

but the pain was still unbearable.

Li Jinghang said:
"Be brave, I'll fix it for you."

He took a double thread
and sewed me up.

Then he held my hand over the fire.
It sizzled.

After that, it was good!

I was healed.

Over there, if you started crying,
you could cry for ages!

When things were bad,
people died every day.

In my dormitory, there were 14 of us,
Up to 3 died a day.

It was OK until it snowed.

But when there were snowstorms
in winter

and when seasons changed,

up to 5 people died a day.

Chen Zaotang, the chief,
had asked me to be team leader.

I slept near the door
and did the roll call.

That's all I could do.

We were given some oil
each week,

and I'd light the lamp.

After dark,
I'd do the roll call.

So-and-so, so-and-so...

So-and-so doesn't answer.
"What's going on?"

Someone said:
"He's not talking."

"Make a report!"

"So-and-so is dead."

I felt I was there,
just waiting for the next one.

The authorities told us
to make mutton soup.

Actually, we served them broth

with a few chives,
soy sauce and vinegar.

"Do you want some more?"
"I want some..."

And I handed the cup
to the sick person.

Generally, he'd lie down.
Soon after, they'd call me:

"He's not breathing."
One more.

Death was never far away.

For that reason,
I thank 2 people.

Chen Zaotang

and Wang Yanshan.

It's written...

During those 2 and a half years,

Chen Zaotang
was always there for me.

He saved my life 3 times.

The first 2 times,
with a shot for the heart.

The last time,
with a homemade candy.

He slipped a sugar beet candy
into my mouth.

"Gu Huimin! Gu Huimin!"
"Yes, who's calling?"

Chen Zaotang shouted:
"He's coming around!"

3 times I almost died.

People didn't go
in excruciating suffering.

They slowly passed away.

Who was I talking about again?

I wanted to talk about Wang Yanshan.

There's plenty to tell.
He knows a lot about Jiabiangou.

Wang Yanshan

was head of the secondary system.

I knew him in 1950 in Lanzhou.
We took part in the Revolution.

When I was transferred
from Zhangye to Tianshui,

he was section chief.

He was in charge
of secondary schools.

Zhang Junyi
was secretary general.

Wang and Zhang were 2 directors
I was very close to.

Wang Yanshan was there,
like me, for being a rightist.

He came from Yuzhong

and graduated from
Lanzhou University.

As he had a good constitution,

they made him a gravedigger.

At the end, there was no-one
to bury the dead.

We had no strength!

They took the strongest

and fed them well.

A good ration,

with extra bread.

Not at every meal,
but morning and evening.

Or evening and lunch.

Wang Yanshan went without bread.

He put it to one side
and when it was dark,

he came to the infirmary.

"Gu, take this.

"Ssh! Hide!"

I ate it under the covers.

I had my bread roll for 20 days.

The last 20 years.

It kept me going.

When they let us go,
everyone left but me.

"Aren't you going?"

"No-one from home
can come here.

Who'll help me?"

No authorization
had been issued.

Chen said, "Get up and go!

"This is your only chance!

Look at that mop of hair!
Shave it."

He shaved my head and beard.

"Get dressed!"

"I have nothing to wear anymore."
"Get some from the shed."

The clothes of the dead, provided
by the government, were stored there.

The truck left Jiabiangou at 10 AM

and reached Jiuquan
at nighttime.

People died on the way.

In the back, the men were
lying down like in the hospital.

They gave you some food
to keep you alive.

Several died on the way.

Once we were on the train,
it got better.

But at the station,
I passed out in the crowd.

When I finally came around,

no more shoes!

Barefoot in the middle of winter,
I was in trouble.

I shouted:
"Who's got shoes?"

I had a leather shoe
and a canvas one.

That's how I got to Lanzhou.

They put us up
at Xinlan Hotel.

Many families from Tianshui
were decimated.

I was alive,
but my family was ruined.

We had 5 children.

They were all small.
How could we cope?

- The youngest was this big.
- I left with 3 yuans in my pocket.

In Tianshui,
our salaries were taxed.

Out of my salary of 79.50 yuans,
they only paid me 70 yuans.

And during that time,
I actually only got 35 yuans.

How could my family survive?

My wife wanted me
to take more money.

I took 3 yuans.

3 yuans for 3 years.

As if I could afford
to worry about my appearance!

She'd made me shoes,
and I sold them

to get a haircut.

We thought
we'd be home soon.

Who could have imagined
such a hellhole?

Without the rescue decision

and without all those dead,

we wouldn't be alive.

We weren't supposed to come home.

We were supposed
to be employed

to build a city
for re-education through labor.

As the head of the camp said:

"A city with great
buildings and factories

where we'll work together
and bring our families!"

So, we didn't know what to do
with all our dead.

And he talks about sandstorms...

He never saw any!
Whereas I saw lots.

Several a year.

When the wind of yellow sand came,
it could bury you.

There were storms
which made the sky go black.

Black sand which fell as rain.

Once, we lost 2 men.

2 who didn't come back
from Beishawo.

I sheltered in my rabbit hutch,
safe and sound.

As a believer,

I thank the Lord
for letting me live.

On this point,
I'm with Li Jinghang, right?

The anti-rightist movement

was in 1957.

In 1956,

police would come every week

and stand outside our church.

It wasn't a good sign.

During the winter,

shortly before New Year,

a pastor from our community,
Ma Hezhen, said to me:

"Professor Li,
we must gather and pray

so that the holiday season
is a peaceful event."

I went to find the faithful,
but no-one dared to show their faith.

Out of 100 members,
no-one wanted to take the risk.

There was just me
praying every morning at 4 AM,

with the pastor for 3 days.

At that time, we could avoid
police surveillance.

The 1st day went off
without a hitch.

It was a long trip
between Dongguan and Dacheng Avenue.

It took me a half hour on foot.

I'd get up at 4

and go and pray.

So, we finished by 6 at dawn.

The 1st day, it went well.
The 2nd day, the pastor said to me:

"Professor Li,

in the next few days, we should sleep
with our doors and windows open."

I asked him why. He said:
"Satan is acting up."

"Father, are you afraid?
"Why? God protects us!"

In my book, I describe how,

on the 3rd day,
I was afraid going to church.

When I got there,
I had only just kneeled down

when the little door next to me
started squeaking.

I imagined a boy
was listening at the door

and reporting back
to the authorities.

I got up
and rushed over to the door

to grab the boy.

I opened one of the double doors.

I tried to grab the boy...

He'd run away.
I couldn't find him!

I looked all around the courtyard.

There was no-one
in the bushes.

What had made the noise?

The wind?
The bamboo wasn't moving.

The leaves in the trees
were still.

Clearly, it was the devil.

I went back inside

and started praying again.

As I was praying,

I turned to check
everything was OK in the yard.

As I looked out of the window,

I saw light burst
from one of the trees in the yard.

An explosion of light.

I thought it must be
Father Wei's flashlight.

But it would have been a beam,

not an explosion.

It was an explosion of red light.

As I was still wondering about it...

I was kneeling in the aisle,

a long space.

In front of me,
everything flared up.

A beam of light
came from the ceiling.

Our ceilings used to be
covered with paper,

not like now.

The light came down
and spread over us.

It covered everything.

This electric light was like
lightning flashes in June,

but this big in diameter.

A light
without the slightest dust.

A light
without the slightest impurity.

I was flattened to the floor

and I hid my head under the pew.

Facing the floor, I begged
as I did in Jiabiangou:

"Glory to You, Lord!

"O Risen One, be my savior!"

I begged as much as I could.

Then, I went over...

While I was begging,
Father Ma cried out:

"Professor Li, come!"

Although I was well into my 30s,

I crawled over to him.

Then, I heard old Liu in the yard.

"Professor Li,
is everything alright?"

I opened the window.

He thought
I'd had an unpleasant encounter.

I called out:
"Dear Liu, don't worry, I'm fine!"

After that, I couldn't pray.

Father Ma asked me:

"Professor Li,
what did you cry out earlier?"

"I saw a light,

a big beam which hit the floor.

This big,

like a flash of lightning."

Inside, everything was lit up!

Like when light spreads
in open country after lightning.

Do you see?

It was as bright as that.

Everything lit up
before I was thrown to the floor.

He said he hadn't seen
any light on my head.

I didn't dare reply
that he was in front of me,

so he couldn't see
any light on my head.

I kept quiet.

What's the point?

I couldn't understand
what had happened.

Why a red light
and a white one?

The pastor had no explanation,
nor did I or anybody.

It was incomprehensible.

One thing was certain:
it wasn't lightning

or the building would have collapsed,

and we'd have been
struck down by lightning.

It wasn't the case.

It was indeed
a divine manifestation.

Was it God?
I don't know.

I only understood
when I went back to Jiabiangou.

I finally understood.

It took me those 4 years
to understand.

Red was the devil's light.

The devil was restless,

he was acting up.

White was the light of the Lord.

Of course.

He was saying: "My son,
next year will be terrible for you.

You'll be sent to a camp.
You'll need courage.

Trust yourself.
I'll be by your side."

I finally got it!

Society then
rejected people like me.

In such a context,
I was persona non grata.

Persona non grata.

I was likely
to get into trouble.

Not being on the same side,
I became an opponent to be excluded.

From a moral standpoint,

I was blameless.

I was a conscientious teacher.

I behaved like an honest man.

I submitted
to the organization of the Party

while worshipping God,

which I considered
beneficial to the nation.

Was there a lot of pressure?
Yes, there was.

I taught high school
for a junior high salary.

I was the target
of many campaigns

from 1950 until 1978.

I faced many attempts

to remodel me.

I got
constant ideological re-education.

But my faith in God
remained steadfast.

Through re-education,

I learned to serve the Party
with all my heart

and apply myself to my work,

without blaming anyone.

But the more I re-educated myself,
the stronger my faith became.

After a month's hard labor
in Xintiandun,

I had already lost my health.

Every night,

I had seminal losses.

Nocturnal emissions, see?

Every night, I'd wake up,
my belly covered in semen.

For a man to do that,

he must be in poor health.

Mustn't he?

Where I come from, it's called
"losing self-control"!

When it happens to you every night,
you think the end is near, right?

I don't mean
occasional accidents.

Every day, I woke up,
my belly covered in semen.

I'd stagger around,

my soul in turmoil.

I thought my end was near.

"Lord, are You calling me?

Tomorrow,
I'll lie down on the site.

People will walk over me.

They'll ask
if I'm playing a run-over dog.

The cadres can criticize
and fight me.

I'll let myself be trampled on.

Lord, tomorrow
I'll give myself to You."

I was crying.

"Lord, tomorrow...

Do what You think is right,
I'm in Your hands."

The next morning,

the team leader

brought us some fried pancakes

for breakfast.

As he left,
he suddenly started screaming:

"Li Jinghang!

Go to the carpentry shop."

Heaven granted me grace.

At the carpentry shop,
we could eat better

and sleep better.

We weren't in the sun.

I felt alive again!

Once there,

I pulled out a Bible.

Kneeling on the bed,
I started praying.

God the Father had me
given a Bible.

I opened it at random
and I read:

Be in peace and obedience.

I don't recall the exact words.

Where were the dead
of Xintiandun buried?

I don't know exactly.
I was in the carpentry shop.

Somewhere in the dunes.

At first, I made caskets
to bury them in.

Then, we just buried the dead
in their blankets.

There's a story I tell in my book.

My wife had come to see me.

I was on my bed.

I was humming hymns.

"Li Jinghang!

You're singing religious songs!"

A young man approached my bed.

There was a little stove.

It wasn't lit,
but he pretended it was.

"Where are you from?"
"I'm from Nankin.

I studied history in Nankin. I'm 27.

I never would have imagined
human beings could come to this."

Just then, a cadre came in.

"Get back to bed!"

And he went back to his place.

In the evening...

we heard:
"Nobody move!"

I looked up
and I saw him, completely naked.

They took his body away,
carrying it over me.

The next morning,

my wife told me
they'd taken 5 away.

5 bodies piled up,
tied up in their blankets.

On each of them,

they'd put a piece of wood this big.

On his, a Christian name
had been written!

So he was a brother!

I've forgotten his name.
He was from Nanking.

We had to prepare
spring sowing.

Zhang Zhongliang,
the Gansu secretary,

had made it a real battle.

But there was nothing there!

We should have brought supplies.

I was in charge of the luggage.

"Li, what took you so long?!

We've been
in close formation for days!"

"Close formation"

meant that we kept close
to stay warm.

No more than that.

We've been waiting for you for days,
all huddled up.

You could also hear it
like a play on words.

"Li, now you bring our things!

I've had time
to become squad leader!"

Actually, the men slept
huddled up outdoors.

Do you understand?

The troops had been sent
before the supplies.

The men had nothing to eat,

and at night,
they were freezing to death.

There weren't any shelters.

Once we got there,
we started to dig them.

It was really hard!

Do you know which camp
in Mingshui you lived in?

I don't know. I arrived at night
after a day's traveling.

There was a village,
but I mainly remember the site.

We boarded the train

in Jiuquan
and reached the camp at 11 PM.

One other thing
I've never talked about.

When I was there,
I was moved to another dormitory.

A man was sleeping just there,

at my feet.

There was a blanket on him.

He was groaning,
but no-one gave him any food.

He didn't have his own place,
so no-one took care of him.

3 days later, he died.

Right there at my feet.
Isn't that terrible?

Why didn't he have a bed?

I was already at the end.
There was no more room.

He wasn't supposed to be there,
so he wasn't fed.

Maybe he'd been forgotten
at the roll call.

His name wasn't on the lists.

Food was in short supply,
so he got nothing.

He groaned for 3 days
before dying under his blanket.

What cruelty!

Today, I still think about it.
Why didn't he have a bed?

At my feet, it wasn't a bed,

but he'd been left there
as if there was no other solution.

So,

since he wasn't on the list,
he wasn't entitled to rations.

The cadres didn't check,
and the kitchens didn't care.

He groaned for 3 days
before he died.

His name was... I forgot his name.
He wasn't married.

He'd turned 40,
so people made fun of him.

They called him
the "old virgin",

because he wasn't married.

He was a cadre.

One evening,

I came out of my hole

and I prayed to God.

"Lord!

In the days of the Old Testament,
there were miracles.

I want a miracle today!

I demand one of God."

I got out of my hole,

scrabbled up the dune,

and stood at the top.

"Lord!

In Old Testament times,
You did miracles.

Today, I need a sign
of Your divine action!"

Let's say a rabbit
comes to me,

and I catch it.

There was nothing
other than rabbits around there.

Then, I thought:

The rabbit may take
5 minutes to reach me.

But

if it takes a half hour,
I won't last.

The wind is much too strong.

The coat I'm wearing
is far too light.

I won't last.

"Lord, what if 3 rabbits
flew up to me!"

Then, I saw 3 birds above me
and I raised my hand.

3 birds came to land
in front of me.

I looked at them.

There were 3 of them.

Not one less.

In my book,
I explain their behavior.

Coordinated movements.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

In summer, there are no birds here.

Where did they come from
in winter?

They were real,

but I didn't feel
I could catch them.

They seemed
more and more real to me.

It all lit up!

So I left them and went home.

Not many people could understand.

It was obvious to me:
"Lord, I have sinned."

Why?

Because if a rabbit
had really come,

I had nothing to skin it with.

If I'd opened it with a stone,
I had nothing to cook it with.

And anyway,
I would have died immediately

as my organism
was weak with hunger.

My approach wasn't serious

and I went home,
leaving the birds.

Who can believe my story?

No-one.

I can't force anyone
to believe me.

That's how it was!

People may not believe me,
but I'm here in the flesh!

To the youngest in the family,
I tell the facts as they are.

That is the 1st story.

The 2nd...

The 2nd...

After my wife left...

Usually,
I had peaceful nights.

"Lord, I sleep
before Your throne of grace."

I always prayed,
but that night, I couldn't.

I couldn't sleep
and I heard a voice,

but I couldn't tell
where it came from.

It said: "You must not break
the 3 arrows."

Arrows.

"You must not break
the 3 arrows."

I had to sleep...

"Don't break the 3 arrows."
A tiny whispering voice.

Where did it come from?
I don't know.

One thing was certain,
she was talking to my inner self.

3 arrows... 8, 9 PM,

10, 11 PM, etc.

The whole night!

A very clear voice
and me in the fog.

A whole night
in total confusion.

And that voice still present.

What were those 3 arrows
that couldn't be broken?

It was better to get up
and get some fresh air.

I got dressed.

I'd barely put
a foot on the ground...

Let's say that was my bed.

I felt dizzy.

I went back to bed
and started raving.

"Take my body away!

Take my body away!"

A cadre was there
and yelled at me:

"What are you talking about?"

Then, he left.

At the foot of my bed,

I had a metal cup.

A man came and took it away.

I yelled: "Leave it!

It's too soon to fleece me!"

And he put the cup down.

Then I got delirious again.

Everything became clear.

No doubt about it,

Satan was trying to take my life.

Satan declared war on me.

I started praying,
begging the Lord.

"Glory be to you, Lord!

O Risen One, be my savior!"

I begged for all I could.

A voice said to me:

"Hell is terrible!

"Satan, that hell you talk about
belongs to you!

I'm in Heaven, away from you."

Of course, I didn't see Satan.
I implored again and again...

"Glory to you, Lord!"

After long curses,

I was coming around
and I started reciting the Bible.

No, not yet!

A voice told me:

"Get up!

Get rid of the oil

that your wife brought you.
Pour it in!

It won't save you.

Do the same with the flour.

Come on, get up!"

"Satan!

The oil is my father's blood.

My family went without
for this flour

when it was in need."

I didn't listen.

I was regaining my self-confidence

and I started reading the Bible.

A sermon said:

"Take the helmet of salvation,

Have truth as your belt,

the sword of victory
in your hand.

In the name of Christ,
I say: Back, Satan!"

After that, I don't know.

Then, in the evening:

"Li Jinghang, get up and eat!"

To eat, we had a bowl of groats.

No bigger than this.

I was about to eat
when a voice said in my ear:

"If you eat,
you will lose your life."

A clear voice
whispered in my ear.

"Satan!

Life is not just about food."

And I hurriedly swallowed my gruel.

I've never had a night
as peaceful as that one.

I remember
the last shelter I was in.

A big troglodyte dormitory

where there were just 2 of us.

Me and someone else.

I was leaning like this
against the door

when I saw a bus coming.

A bus for at least 20 people
with only 1 passenger.

He got out and said to me,
tapping my shoulder:

"Comrade, in a couple of days,
you'll have rice and flour."

What did that mean?

On that note, the official left
and came back 3 hours later.

He gave us a shot.

His attitude was very different.

We were perplexed.
The rescue plan had started!

But there were only 2 of us left!

2 people in this big space.

How many survivors
were there in your ravine?

At the end? It's hard to say.

I don't know.

How many people
did the bus take?

What bus?

First they took us to Gaotai.

I mean from Mingshui.

The day we left Mingshui,
there were only 2 of us.

Pu Yiye and me.

- By tractor?
- No, by bus.

A large vehicle
which took us to the station.

I heard

that the city of Tianshui
had sent 238 people

and that only 21 people
came home alive.

Not even a 10th,
because that would've made 33 people,

23 people!

Only 21 survived.

Not even the percentage
that's usually mentioned.

The case of Tianshui
wasn't the worst.

In the district of Xianhe,
of the 6 intellectuals who left,

not one came home.

100%!

Of the 5 teachers
from Tianshui Normal School

and the 6 teachers
from High School no. 1,

of those 11,

I'm the only one who came back.

Only 1 came back.

Without God's grace,
we wouldn't have seen anyone.

From Tianshui Normal School,
none came home.

How many districts
didn't see anyone come back?

100% deaths!

Who made it out?

The cooks, the gravediggers,

kitchen helpers,
the horse keepers.

They came back.

And those who escaped.

Apart from them,
almost no one survived.

Or a very low percentage,
maybe 1 or 2%.

My treasure.

You'll see,
there are dates listed.

Here, we can read:
December 4, 1960.

December 4, 1960.

December 4, 1960.

That night, I asked:
"Lord, why is it so hard?"

Here's his answer.
It's brilliant!

He was talking to me!

That's old stuff.
December 1960...

There, I was in the carpentry team.

194...

July 15, 1958,
it was at the workshop.

The 1st time at the workshop.

There are lots of dates!

All the dates
when the Lord spoke to me.

I think those from Tianshui,
like me, formed the 2nd group.

We were the 2nd group
to be sent there.

- Why were you sent there
- I was a rightist.

A pure rightist,

without any "historical" mention
or anything else.

Just rightist.

How were you designated
a rightist?

I had criticized
an officer of my unit.

He was posing as a veteran,

a former 8th Army soldier,

which he wasn't.

He was a rough character,

without any education.

In my work unit,
there was only 1 deputy position.

He'd spend his days with his kid,
wandering the streets.

He led a very dissolute life!

That's why I criticized him.

We had a great director
who was very serious.

He was a Party secretary.

As I had criticized the morals

and working methods
of one of our leaders,

they said
I was attacking the Party.

Going after an individual
meant going after the Party.

At first,

I wasn't targeted.

But directives
came from on high,

and the 2% rightist quota
has risen to 12%.

The objective had to be met.

In my unit,
I was very hard-working.

I was in insurance,
not in the bank yet.

I was head of the department.

An insurance company?

After Xi'an where I studied,
I was sent to Tianshui.

I said he had bad morals,

and should correct himself

and work a bit harder.

He took it out on everyone,

saying the Revolution had caused
the loss of his family

and that he wasn't paid
accordingly.

He wanted compensation!

The Revolution caused his loss.

I wasn't the only one
to criticize him in the company,

but I was the only one
to express myself openly.

They made me pay for it.

- With sessions of criticism?
- Of course!

Of course! You couldn't avoid them.

Public accusation sessions
conducted by "activists".

I was sitting at my desk.

They dragged me
to the middle of the room.

As I did that,
they said I'd hit them.

I resisted!

Several of them dragged me,
so I resisted.

They said I'd hit them

and added another charge:

"Negative attitude, violent

and arrogant behavior."

The Disciplinary Board
wasn't in favor of my conviction.

But Feng,
the leader I had criticized,

lobbied the Council
so I'd be accused of being rightist.

There!

Once there,
things were OK at first.

After a while,

2 or 3 months,
we ran out of grain.

The town of Jiuquan
no longer supplied us with food.

Our farm had to be self-sufficient.

At that time, the Secretary of Gansu,
Zhang Zhongliang,

had stated that farms
had to be self-sufficient.

It was OK
for labor reform farms,

but we were one of those
labor re-education farms

which had replaced them,
and the previous employees had gone.

There were over 2,000 of us.

Almost 3,000.

The place was called Jiabiangou.

We were sent
by our work units.

Like High School no. 3,

Tianshui Normal School,

the market gardening cooperative,

the insurance company,

and Public Safety.

We were sent
by our work units.

2 people escorted us.

1 in army uniform,
with his rifle.

The other in plain clothes,
a friend from the radio.

They're both still alive.

Historical counter-revolutionaries
were all handcuffed.

As ordinary rightists,
we were authorized

to make certain purchases.

First came
the breakdown into teams.

Then we'd go
to the construction site.

We dug very deep trenches.

The size of a man and more.

The height of this room.

They were wide too.

We dug
to drain the ammonia.

A task reserved
for the construction team.

The Dean of Lanzhou University,
Chen Shiwei,

wrote down the tasks to carry out.

The Dean of Lanzhou University,
Chen Shiwei.

He was exempted
from heavy tasks

and he recorded our work hours.

We had to dig.

There was the construction,

agricultural,
and ancillary work teams.

3 teams.

We were the construction team.

Can you explain to me
how you dug the trenches?

At first,

the work was moving slowly.

Then, I had the idea

of using a lever system.

Then, I went a lot faster.

The same system as the one used
to draw water in the south.

You lower your bucket like this

and you lever it back up.

That way, you force less.

With this lever system,
we went faster.

We dug
till we reached the water.

We had our feet in the water
and our legs were rotting.

Ammonia has a very corrosive effect
in the trenches.

I worked in the trenches
for a long time.

Over 2 months.

Then, they sent me
to the gypsum quarry.

We lost someone from Tianshui
in the quarry.

There hadn't been a death then.

A block crushed him.

The head of
an elementary school in Tianshui.

School no. 1, Construction Street.

His name was Zhang Xiu.

Crushed to death.

The 1st death
not due to hunger.

An accidental death.

He crushed
by a block of gypsum.

We had to extract a certain amount
of gypsum every day.

A cubic meter, say.

If you tried to come down too soon,
you'd get no food.

The men were exhausted.

How many never had
worked with their hands?

You had to work fast,
because the plaster was exported.

It was the camp's
subsidiary production.

The plaster was excellent quality.

Later, they sent me
to the Qilian Mountains

to extract iron ore.

After a while at the mine,

I worked at Jiuquan,
on the construction site of...

Qingshuipu.

They were building a road

to the satellite launch base.

We extracted stone and sand
and loaded the trucks.

We'd stand either side
and load them with shovels.

It was over a period of time.

After that, they put me in Beidahe,

near Jiayuguan.

There was a stone quarry.

We slept in tents.

Then, I got sick

and I was sent back to Jiabiangou.

I couldn't do it anymore.

I had a big problem with my lungs.

They sent me back
to the central station.

Over there, they put me
on auxiliary activities.

Towards the end, my face
and legs were all swollen.

We had no food.

The government
didn't provide us with supplies.

We used to eat grasses
like those in the rice paddies.

Only then,
we didn't have bowel movements.

We had to clean each other out

till our anuses bled,
because of what we ate!

We ate the leaves of date trees.

It's a region of date palms,
and we ate the leaves.

After I got sick,
I never left the station again.

I stayed at the central station,
but there was also an annex,

Xintiandun annex.

And also Mingshui camp,
in Gaotai.

They sent the strongest there.

Many died there.

- Did you ever go to Mingshui?
- To Mingshui, never.

The first time my wife
came to see me,

it was very cold.

I had a string around my waist.

I had no buttons
and I closed my jacket with a string.

A rotten old hat on my head.

My wife burst into tears
when she saw me.

What had they done to me?

My face was... lined.

Emaciated and lined.

The 2nd time she came,

my face and legs were all swollen.

Edemas caused by malnutrition.

Not one of us avoided it.

Not one.

Not one.

At the end, the dormitories
were sparsely populated.

This person died,
then, that one.

The man next to me
was called Wang Rui.

He was from
Tianshui High School no. 1.

He died next to me.

He said: "Zhao, I'm hungry!
Get me some groats."

I brought him his groats,
but he was dead.

Wang Rui.

His wife is in the pedestrian street,
the former eastern part of Zhonghua.

She's over there.

He's dead.

An excellent teacher.
from High School no. 1.

He was a talented
mathematics teacher.

He's dead.

I was asked to bury him,
but I didn't have the strength.

We buried them
in the ravines of Jiabiangou.

We just dug a little.

At first, the caskets

were made of thin boards,
then the wood ran out.

So, we used straw.

But it took time,

so we ended up wrapping
the dead in their blankets

and tying them with string.

When night fell,

we'd put them on an ox cart.

Sometimes,
5 or 6 would go together.

And we buried them.

I saw it with my own eyes.
I tell it like it is.

The cart was pulled by an ox,
not a horse.

When was this?

It was

at the start of 1960.

There were so many deaths.

Fu Zuogong, Fu Zuoyi's brother,
was in my team.

Fu Zuoyi.

You know who I mean?
A celebrity!

His brother had studied in the USA.

He helped develop
the province's water.

An engineer.
Another who was sent to die there.

No?

The principal
of Northwest Normal School,

Li Huafang, died there.

The principal
of Northwest Normal School

died there.

The women went crazy!

There were some with us.

About 20 of them.

My wife is no longer with us.

She passed on 8 years ago.

Without my wife,
I certainly wouldn't be here.

She was exemplary with me.

A lot of wives got divorced.

Not mine.

Most got divorced

and remarried.

Not mine.

She was wonderful to me.

My wife sent me
a parcel every month.

At the time,
the Post Office prohibited parcels

parcels of grain.

The most you could do was
send a kilo of roasted flour.

Families would send us
roasted flour.

As it was forbidden in town,
they sent it from the country...

from country post offices.

A cousin who was in Tibet
brought me butter.

Yak butter
that he brought me from Tibet.

This cousin was a driver
for the army in the region.

He could afford it
and supplied me on the way.

We were too poor.

My family couldn't help me.

They even expected me to help them.

Times were hard.
We were destitute.

Yet Hanzhong, where we lived,
was a prosperous region.

It wasn't enough.
and famine decimated the region.

So many people died
of hunger in Gansu.

People fled to Shaanxi.

In Shaanxi, the Party Secretary
was Zhang Desheng.

In Gansu, it was Zhang Zhongliang.

Zhang Zhongliang said:
"In Gansu, there's lots of grain."

Zhang Desheng retorted:

"Why do so many people
flee your province then?"

Everyone who lived along
the railroad tracks was leaving.

Qingshui, my wife's country,

Zhangchuan,

Qin'an, Tongwei,

Gangu, Wushan, Longxi.

In this area,
there were a lot of death.

They all starved to death.

You saw people
walking along the street

and suddenly collapse,
stone dead.

The last time my wife came,

I didn't move from my bed.

She burst into tears.

The situation was so terrible.

We didn't move from our beds.

The dormitories were deserted.

Just empty beds!

We used to be all huddled up.

There were just a few
scattered individuals.

My wife slept with me

in the same dormitory.

The 2nd time,
she came without my son.

On the train,
she got scammed.

"Ma'am, lend me your ticket,
I'll get you some water."

She never saw her ticket again.

When she got off the train,
my wife told the inspector:

"A woman stole my ticket.
pretending to get me some water."

My wife convinced the inspector.

Once in Jiuquan,

she had a cup stolen.

When she saw me half dead,
she burst into tears.

She went to beg

Secretary Liang
and Director Liu.

She had a letter
from the Disciplinary Committee.

They took their time
to make their minds up.

She stayed a long time,

more than the first time.

At least 5 days.

They were studying my case
and discussing it.

We waited.

In the last months, no-one worked.

The men stayed lying down.

There was nothing to eat.

You were given a ladle
of gruel per meal.

A ladle of food wasn't enough.

The porridge was made
with coarse flour.

What else?

The roasted flour
my wife sent me.

A few spoonfuls here and there.

You didn't eat too much
in case you couldn't stand it.

You had to learn.

She put oil in the flour,

grilled flour in oil.

I ate it slowly,
and it kept me alive.

I had traded
a Swiss watch

for 1.5 kg of cereals
in ration stamps.

I had asked someone
to trade it for me in Jiuquan.

I had to let it
for 500g of stamps,

but at least,
he brought back some treats.

It wasn't easy!

You traded a Swiss watch
for 1.5 kg in cereal stamps

and a wool blanket
for 1 or 1.5 kg.

Communication channels
weren't easy, either.

It was just before...

before...

before New Year's in 1961.

Could you still walk?

With great difficulty.

I left the central station

in a horse-drawn cart.

It took us...

It took us...

It was supposed
to take us to the road,

but as no vehicle passed by,
we carried on in it to Jiuquan.

We spent the night in Jiuquan.

The next day,
we managed to buy train tickets.

We spent a night in Lanzhou
before coming back to Tianshui.

My wife went to a lot of trouble
to get me out of there.

The camp management
had to wait for the green light

from the delegation in charge
to release me.

Or I wouldn't go home.

The last to return en masse

had to wait
till March and April.

March and April 1961.

How many came home
to Tianshui?

About 10 maybe.

At the end, it was atrocious.

One night, I was told
to go bury the dead

in exchange for
an extra ladle of gruel

and...

and some black bread.

I refused,
thinking I couldn't do it.

We were bedridden!

We couldn't move.

I still had to go.

We hoisted up to 6 bodies
on the cart.

We dug a shallow hole

and we covered the body
with some dirt.

The slightest gust of wind
uncovered the bodies.

On a red brick, we wrote:
Grave of XXX.

That's how it was.

All buried in the ravine!

The principal of High School no. 1,
Ren Jiwen, died there.

His wife, from Shanghai,

is now head
of the Mother & Child Health Center.

Ren Jiwen came from Gangu.

The head
of High School no. 1!

Died there.

When his wife came to the camp,
we'd buried him long before.

Long before.

What we lived in Jiabiangou,

no-one wrote it.

With all the suffering we had there,

who would have wanted
to write about it?

Those who lived Jiabiangou
don't write.

What's the point?

You imagine
an unforgettable landscape?

Not worth it.

There are some photos,
but they're not great.

You see a woman

standing

in the ruins.

- In Jiabiangou.
- In the desalination trenches?

Not trenches,
the holes we lived in!

Caves?

There are photos in magazines.

Did you live there?

No.

Where did you stay there?

I was on the construction team

and I worked outside
on the construction sites.

We slept in tents.

Is that where you ran away from?

I ran away
when I was in Jiuquan.

What were you doing in Jiuquan?

I don't remember that.

In novels,

everything is told in detail.

It was hard and we were hungry.

Do you think it was a picnic?

We were starving.

We had to beg.

Yet you were
on the construction team?

The construction team
was rationed, too.

We had 10 or 12 kilos
of grain a month, no more.

What do you think?

It was no picnic!

Did you think
we were living the good life?

It's not what you think.

In winter, we slept in tents.
It was very cold.

We'd get up at dawn

and we were given a spongy cake.

All white and spongy.

This big.

Square.

We got a piece each

before going to work.

It would have taken

7 or 8 to feed a man.

Do you think one was enough?

We would have needed 7 or 8.

What do you expect?

If you must know,

I'll have to explain.

Why don't I have kids?

Because I'm not married!
Where would these kids come from?

I don't need
to draw you a picture!

The ones you see here
aren't my family.

They're photos of my brothers' kids.

They're my nephews, see?

- Your nephews.
- Yes, my nephews.

And my nephews' children!

But you have a wife, right?

That's what I was trying to explain.

I'd been married
for barely a year

when the anti-rightist
movement began.

I was accused
and sent to Jiabiangou.

And my wife went off
with someone else.

She found someone else.

Now you understand!

It wouldn't help
to give you more details, would it?

I went to the labor
re-education camp

and my wife filed for divorce
to go off with another.

That's what happened.

Since then, I've lived like this.

I've spent my whole life like this.

My whole life.

And I'll spare you the details.

It wasn't easy, but what's the point
of telling you all that?

I'm not the only one
in this situation.

Many people experienced
the same thing,

but they don't want to talk about it.

It's destiny.

We Chinese say:
"It's your destiny!"

And if I've had this life,
it's destiny too.

That's how destiny decided it,
without wanting to be superstitious.

That's what you must understand.

Everything I own,
I bought it with the money

I earned by working,

not with public money.

Oh, no!

I should have been given
a pension by the store,

by the department store in Tianshui.

But it doesn't exist anymore.

Who can I ask for it?

Even though some people
know my situation,

they won't talk.

They won't talk!

Why would they talk?
It's all in the past.

Those from Mao Zedong's time
know what this is all about.

They don't say anything either!

What are broken homes?

Nowadays, families
aren't like they used to be.

Those who were in Jiabiangou...

Those who...

Those who were in Jiabiangou

are all...

They're all dead.

Their families didn't even know
they were there.

That's so with many.

I'm not the only one
not talking.

And you're lucky
you met me first.

You're interested in Jiabiangou!

No-one wants to discuss it.

And most are dead.

Yes, they're dead.

Do you drink that alcohol?

At least you know what it is!

And yet you don't drink.

You don't drink and you know it.

Among drinkers,

most...

Here, even in the restaurant,

lovers of alcohol

don't know "Red Star" erguotou.

And yet "Red Star" white liquor

represents China today.

I only stayed
for a year and a half in Jiabiangou.

Then, I ran away.

I fled.

On your own?

I wasn't particularly daring.

Many of us ran away
at the time.

They just don't say it.

Today, people don't talk
about that time.

It's not appropriate
to talk about it.

I stayed
several years at Shaanxi.

I stayed 3 and a half years.

3 and a half years.

I escaped from Jiabiangou
and went to Shaanxi.

Because when you escape,
you become a fugitive!

Was it better at Shaanxi?

We could get by.

In Shaanxi, I found myself
in a re-education camp.

But your life wasn't in danger there.

Recently, I was hospitalized
and I almost died.

It was my heart.

I've always been fragile,
remember?

They managed to revive me.

They revived you?

Good.

The municipal hospital
is well equipped now.

Did you see a doctor
about your kidney pain?

There's no need.
With some rest, it'll pass.

I get up from time to time
and I sit down for a bit.

I don't understand
why it hurts.

It was OK before.

I thought I was better.
I've spent too long sitting.

It tired me out.

Were you writing?

I sat down to pray.

I still wonder why

they sent us to Gaotai
in the middle of winter

for spring sowing.

For sowing,

first of all,
we didn't have any seeds.

Secondly,
we didn't have any tools.

Thirdly,
we didn't know where to sow.

Fourthly,
there was no water.

Fifthly,
we had nowhere to stay.

How could we cultivate
the land like this?

The most regrettable

and incomprehensible thing

was that they were sending the men

before their luggage.

I was in charge of luggage transport
and I came last.

The men were there,
in the middle of nowhere,

several dozen men all huddled up.

They had just spent over 10 days

outside, at temperatures
of minus 20 degrees.

I arrived last
with all the luggage.

Professor Li's wife
brought him food.

Or he would have
starved to death.

If I'm still alive,
it's because of my mother.

With Professor Li,
it's thanks to his wife.

My mother came one day
when it was snowing very hard.

The snow had covered our shelters,

and she had a hard time
finding us.

- It was in Mingshui.
- Near the station.

When it snowed a lot,
it was in Mingshui.

Someone from Tianshui,
Yang Yousheng.

Yang Yousheng.

One day, a friend came to see me.

He was accompanied
by a man I didn't know.

They came together.

The man was a preacher.

He told me that his father was...

the head of Jiabiangou.

Jiabiangou was only
part of a whole.

The camp consisted of several places.

He was the head
of the whole thing.

Jiabiangou was just one division.

He had received
an order from the Province

to give only 200 grams of cereals
a day to prisoners.

200 grams per person per day.

After receiving this order,

his father,

who was an early veteran,

a veteran of the Red Army
who had his say,

200 grams...

He refused to obey.

He drew from the reserves
to guarantee 24 pounds of grain.

Some time later,

someone turned him in.

He was removed from office.

Once revoked,
he was transferred to Lanzhou

where he was inactive for 3 years.

That's what the document says.

Reducing the ration to 200g
was an order from above!

They wanted to starve you to death.

It was deliberate.

It's terrible, isn't it?

- Failure to supply grain.
- He died in 1981.

He was a Red Army veteran.

- Is that what this document says?
- Yes.

I asked this friend

to put everything in writing

on this document.

This document is terrible!

It was deliberate!

- Was there any grain?
- Yes.

There was some...
but they didn't give it out.

They wanted to see you
starve to death.

It's a terrible revelation!

200 grams to say we fed you
without allowing you to live!

The peasants of Jiabiangou
that I questioned

told me that with 200 grams a day,
they couldn't stand up.

They leaned against the walls
and on their sticks.

I didn't know about the peasants.

I just knew about the prisoners.

There were 4 professors
from Lanzhou University

who hung themselves there.

Did you see him?

He told us.

- That man?
- Yes, he heard it from his father.

What did you bring
your husband in Jiabiangou?

In Jiabiangou?

I brought him...

I brought him hard-boiled eggs.

- You had eggs?
- And flax seed cakes.

5 or 6, this big.

It was in...

in 1960.

In December 1960...

I received a telegram

telling me that his health
had deteriorated significantly

and asking me to go.

I took a week off

and I went there.

It was in December.

At first,

I set off on foot.

There was no transport.

Vehicles were very rare
between Tianshui and Beidao.

Vehicles were very rare.

I set off on foot from Tianshui.

To Ershipu.

There I found a horse-drawn cart.

A man
who was transporting something.

I asked him
if he could take me on his cart.

- To Beidao.
- To the station?

To Beidao station.

When we arrived,

it was almost nighttime.

I took the train

and I arrived in Lanzhou
shortly before dawn.

In Lanzhou, I had to change.

I took another train

to Jiuquan.

In the train,

between Lanzhou and Jiuquan,

I met a woman.

She was making the same journey.

She lived in Lanzhou,

and her husband was in Jiuquan.

She was going to see him.

We made the trip together.

We kept each other company.

Once we got there,

as I'd never been there,

the woman guided me.

She took me into town.

It was already nighttime.

She took me to someone
who had a horse-drawn cart

and who took goods

to the re-education camp.

A man with a cart.

She said that the 2 times
she'd been to see her husband,

she'd slept at their place.

She introduced me to these people

so I could spend the night.

They didn't want to put me up.

The next day, the man
had to deliver coal to Mingshui,

but he didn't want to take me.

Let's just say
he wanted to be paid.

He could see
I had several bags.

He wanted something in exchange.

As I was naive,

I put my bags down,

and in a momentary lapse
of concentration,

he helped himself
and took 2 cakes.

I still insisted,
and he took me.

We left
at around 10 AM

and we arrived late in the afternoon.

We arrived at Mingshui
at around 6 PM.

I stayed there

for 3 or 4 days.

In Mingshui...

I stayed
for several days in Mingshui.

I introduced myself
to the head

who put me

in the dormitory.

It was a huge troglodyte shelter.

Really huge!

They slept on the ground
in an area this high.

There was earth
with some grass on top.

There was Professor Pu.

I even used
his mattress for the night!

I huddled up against my husband.

Men and women
all slept in the same place.

I slept, snuggled up against him.

When I woke up,

the snow had fallen.

It was so cold!

Was your husband
still able to get up?

He could, but he was skinny,

as skinny as a nail!

- He could stand up.
- Did you sleep in the shelter?

Yes, for 2 days.

Then we were told to sleep
with the carpenters.

They had their place.

We slept with them.

I spent 2 nights there
before I went home.

- Mingshui had a carpentry shop?
- Yes.

Did you come back with Professor Li?

Did you come back with Professor Li?

We left
and came back the same day.

Incredible, isn't it?

We left on May 8, 1958

and came home
in late December 1960.

Do you know why I'm so sure?

We spent the New Year
on the train to Lanzhou.

My son Minmin
doesn't want me to have visitors.

He's worried I'll get too tired.

Minmin is worried.

How many years
since you last saw him?

Oh, my!

- What is it, Xiaozhen?
- Don't worry!

Don't ask questions and sleep.

He's just filming a bit.

Don't talk. Close your eyes.

- Alright.
- He's just filming.

- Rest.
- I left him the phone number.

Do you want me
to call Liu Tianyou?

Don't worry,
I gave him the number.

When I was in the camp at Mingshui,

I worked for what they called
the central. In other words...

Before, it was a State farm
in the Gaotai district.

It was a very simple place!

It had only huts made of earth,
without even a tiled roof.

Mud-brick huts

with a small kitchen.

The rooms were really small.

Two rooms

for the cadres to sleep in

and a small, separate room
that we used as a kitchen.

Another small barrack,
on the edge of a valley,

housed the infirmary,
with its medicines and doctors.

Other than that,
everyone slept under the tent,

at least until people began to arrive
in mass from Xintiandun.

I was on the installation team.

I arrived there very early on.

I remember that at the time,

the director of Jiabiangou
was Liu Zhenyu.

And the head of the
Production brigade was called Liang.

- Liang Jingxiao.
- Yes, Liang Jingxiao.

Liang Jingxiao
was from Lintao.

As he was responsible for
Jiabiangou's agricultural production,

I took him with me.

With his men,

we were supposed to set up
the future camp at Mingshui.

But what could we do
in a place like that?

At first,
I took care of the stewardship.

At Jiabiangou, I was already
in charge of the collective kitchens.

We cooked for over 1,000 people
who were in re-education at the camp.

And as there were Hui Muslims,
we had two separate kitchens.

In 1959, faced with the
increasing numbers of deaths,

we also created
a kitchen for the sick.

At Jiabiangou,
the situation was still acceptable.

The problems began
at the end of 1960,

when we were transferred to Mingshui.

The conditions there
dictated life at the camp.

Food was strictly rationed.

When I got to Mingshui,

the ration allocated to rightists
by the government

was 250 grams
of course grain per person.

The cadres

were allowed 14 kg of flour.
That was 450g per day.

Let's see...

The cadres received flour.

The camp inmates,
with their 250g of grains,

had around 200g of flour.

What was Jiabiangou like
when you arrived?

A re-education camp...
reform through work,

for criminals.

From July 1956, the only people
who stayed there to work

were those who had
completed their sentences.

It became a professional farm.

When the professional farm
was created,

I took care of the management.

I managed the cadres' kitchen.

Later on,

I became an instructor.

And then,

I was transferred to the Secretariat.

In the beginning,
I was a clerk,

then, I became a secretary.

From the end of 1956
until the month of July 1958,

I was a secretary.

In 1958...

In 1958,
with the mass arrival of rightists,

the kitchens were quickly
overwhelmed.

The population increased

because of those
who had to be re-educated!

Daily life became unmanageable

and I was asked to resume
management of the stewardship.

I had a team of managers
and accountants,

I was in charge of the kitchens,
basically, I looked after everything.

Let's say I managed the daily life.

As I said earlier,

that included managing 2 kitchens,
but also the Xintiandun annex.

Managing the food
was also one of my duties.

From 1959,

food began to be scarce.

Why wasn't there enough?

If we relied on our production,

our self-sufficiency would only last
for a few months.

So we depended on the State,
but the quantities were rationed.

I remember the grain ration
was 21 kg,

which meant 20 kg of flour.

That was enough.

In 1958 and 1959,
there was still enough.

But from 1960,
the situation got worse.

- Why?
- What?

Why was there not
enough food in 1960?

Why? Because they didn't
give us anymore!

Restrictions had been
announced for everybody.

They spoke of natural disasters
to explain the lack of grains.

Ridiculous! Some regions
never stopped producing.

But others inflated figures
to earn merit

and "to fan the winds of Communism."

Because of "balanced distribution",
we started to lack food.

As if we lacked cereal!

A farm is a unit
of cereal production.

If you don't produce enough,
the State makes up for the lack,

but that's how
they'd catch you out!

Were people very dispersed
at the Mingshui site?

They were spread
across 3 valleys.

There was the East valley,
called the "central",

and later on, the "East station".

Then, as there were
more and more deaths,

we gathered together
at the Middle station.

I went to deliver coal
for the first time

towards the end of December

and that's when I discovered
that the Middle station existed.

There were few sheep.

The carcasses came from Jiabiangou.

When was that?

In December.

The situation was terrible.
It was the end for all those people!

They didn't even get up anymore.

They died in their sleep.

They didn't wake up.

Working and receiving
only two ladles of gruel.

Two small ladles of pale gruel
thickened with a little flour.

Cooked meals
were out of the question there!

Two spoonfuls that weren't even
enough to warm you up.

People were dying of hunger,
damn!

They lived in dug out holes
in the desert.

They cut plants without their roots,

and slipped them
under their sleeping area.

For nothing!

Those plants don't hold heat
like straw.

It was ridiculous!

To put those people through...

They wanted them to die.

When you got to Mingshui,
did you plant crops?

What would we have planted?
We were already well into autumn.

I arrived in October,
after the national holiday.

We came to Jiabiangou as scouts,

after the national holiday.

Our mission

was to start to organize the lands,

to lay the foundations
for the following year.

We were meant to plant
the crops in the spring of '61.

But the cold weather arrived
shortly after we did!

There was no longer any chance
of farming the land.

We were told to compensate for
the lack of cereals with vegetables.

Vegetables in the desert

when we only had sand to eat!

There was nothing.

Produce, always produce!

Start planting crops

when temperatures
bordered on -40 degrees in winter!

What could we plant?

What did you do in the beginning?

It was ridiculous!

We dug trenches, built roads,

and erected tents.
We cleared sterile lands!

It was a waste of time
given the state of the land.

They were easing
their consciences.

Clear and work the land!

None of the land was flat.
What could we do with it?

We had barely started the work
when we were forced to stop.

What could we do?

The men no longer had
the strength to move.

Also, agriculture
is governed by the seasons.

What can you do in winter?

With temperatures that drop
to below 38 degrees,

can you farm the land?

It is as hard as steel.

A layer of frozen soil
over one meter thick!

Land that is frozen
for over one meter in depth,

can it be farmed?

Sending the men there,
was condemning them in advance.

All those rightists dying of hunger,

how were they meant
to fight off death?

How many people survived Mingshui?

After I left, I don't know
how many of them remained.

So many of them died!

We didn't really know
how many of us there were.

Death brings about situations...

How could we have kept
a precise record?

That wasn't part of my job.

No real strategy
had actually been set up.

This had nothing to do with
the old re-education centers,

that were divided into sections:

the Production section...

The Surveillance
and Re-education section,

and the Accounting section
that incorporated Supplies.

Everything was clearly organized.

We went to Mingshui
as a temporary measure.

"The sparrow may be small,
it still needs all its entrails."

Otherwise nothing works!

We had no system established
and nothing definite in place.

Was the number of deaths
recorded on a daily basis?

Yes, it was recorded.

Well, in the beginning we managed.

Later on...

We couldn't dig,
the ground was as hard as steel.

The deceased were rolled up
in their blankets,

tied at each end
with the cords from their bags

and placed on a cart.

The horses limped
to the foot of the dune.

We barely dug down
and sometimes the wind blew,

burying the bodies under the sand.

Sometimes,
the wind uncovered the bodies.

It was horrendous.
I won't say any more.

After the North-West Conference,

the authorities decided
to put a stop to these deaths.

A place like Mingshui,
with caves for shelters,

had to be replenished
from the outside.

Cereals needed to be sent there.

The nearest supplies
were in Gaotai.

There was nothing left
to eat on site.

There weren't even anymore
plants for the straw mats.

Even water was a problem,
so food...

The conditions were really extreme.

It was in the month of

December 1960,

that we began to leave the premises.

At that time,
the authorities sent us...

They came with coaches,

coaches with seats.

To take us back
to the Gaotai farm camp.

To Jianquanzi,
the farm's central station.

They had made
a large barracks available

for everyone to sleep in.

In my case...

I can't remember exactly.
It's too far away in my memory.

Was everyone transferred
by coach to the farm in Gaotai?

One journey was not enough.

The first time,
there was only one coach.

The transfer took a long time.

People were transferred gradually.

The move took over ten days.

Did some people
go straight to Lanzhou?

- No!
- Without going through Gaotai.

Everyone went through Gaotai.

I remember that everyone was taken
to the Gaotai farm.

The mortality issue
was far from resolved.

We could say the situation
did improve a little.

Some say that they took the train
directly from Mingshui.

That was much later on!

At first,

they sent the doctors to Gaotai.

A first coach was sent ahead,

to prepare the field.

As I knew the managers
of all the camps,

I also left in the first convoy.

How was the Mingshui camp shut down?

I had already left.

I didn't go back there.
They kept me at the Gaotai farm.

I had so much to do there.

The Mingshui farm gradually emptied
during the month of December.

It was evacuated.

The modest remaining activity
was transferred to Gaotai.

And, like you said, some people
had to leave by train from Mingshui.

If you are asking,

people did leave by train
from Mingshui to Lanzhou,

but that was later on.

Before...

I had already left Mingshui.

Why return
to a hellish place like that?

So I can't tell you
how they closed the camp.

Some cadres had stayed there.

I remember going back there once
after the transfer.

I went to the Middle station
in Mingshui

where the director
Liu Zhenyu had stayed.

People who'd been scattered around
were gathered at the Middle station.

People from the East and West
stations had all been taken there.

To a dry river bed!

With makeshift shelters
dug out of the ground.

It must have been

around...

It must have been in January 1961,
or at the end of 1960,

around December 20.

Between the end of 1960
and the beginning of 1961.

One day, when I was walking,

I bumped into the director of the
Jiuquan tool factory, Li Qingming.

He signaled to me.

"I want you to take me there."
"Tell me what's happening first."

"How can I put it...

"I need you to talk to Liu."

I was close to the director,

and he knew I could
talk to him easily.

He said to me:
"Apparently in Mingshui,

they kill sheep
to save the lives of the sick.

Can you tell Liu
that I've bought coal,

and ask him for a sheep
in exchange?"

"I don't know if that's possible
but I will ask him.

Alright!

I'll ask him.

I'll tell him that transporting coal
is a tough job.

I'll get what you want!"

And we set off.

When we got there,

Liu was happy!

Without coal,
you couldn't do anything.

To boil water, warm yourself,
cook your gruel,

you needed fire.

I spoke to director Liu.

"Alright!", he said.

It was the way to maintain
a good relationship.

"We had to find a vehicle,

to bring the coal here."

He gave us a sheep.

At the time, I was getting ready
to go to Lanzhou.

My wife was studying at the
Lanzhou school of Chinese medicine.

I had decided to join her.

He accepted
without batting an eyelid!

He chose the sheep.
He cut its head off

and removed all of its guts
to give us the carcass.

Once the animal had been gutted,
it weighed between 10 and 15 kilos.

A small carcass.

I said: "I'm leaving for Lanzhou
and I'd really like some meat too."

We did what we could to survive.

Liu said to me: "Take that one
and ask Li to share it with you."

What could I say?

We took the sheep
and they gave me 1.5 kg of meat.

They cut off the head
with half of the neck.

They offered me a thigh
but I refused.

A piece of the breast
was enough for me.

Even if when I returned,
I'd have to share.

I had to think of the driver
and there wasn't very much.

It was good because
the opportunity had arisen

and food was scarce,
so why complain?

There may have been sheep
in Jiabiangou and elsewhere,

but at Mingshui there was nothing.

I was already in Gaotai
when I made this visit

to the Middle station of Mingshui.

About one week later,

everybody had left
the Middle station.

Only those who could still walk
had taken the train in Mingshui.

Indeed, some did take the train.

Liu Zhenyu waited until everybody
had left, to return to Gaotai.

When he arrived, he asked me
to go to West station in Gaotai.

Death was a part
of our daily lives.

There was no point being afraid.

When the nurses
weren't able to lift the bodies,

you helped lift them onto the cart

and stabilize it.

But you weren't meant to do things
that weren't part of your duties.

As if we could have shown
compassion for those men!

And there was your class conscience!

Who could bear
being submitted to the criticisms?

I promised myself
I would not treat anyone badly.

That wasn't the case of
some heads of teams

who took it out on the men
if the work was badly done.

They deprived you of food,
those little chiefs!

Some production managers
were cruel to the men.

So it became normal
to live alongside death?

It was part of our daily lives.

A sad reality.

A reality that aroused
neither sorrow nor surprise.

An oil lamp threatening to go out

for which you have
no fuel to revive it.

People didn't die during the day.

When someone died,
they were taken outside.

The others didn't even realize.

We gathered the bodies
in the evening

and took care of them the next day.

- Where did you put them?
- I didn't deal with them.

If I wasn't on duty,
I didn't stay around the sick.

What was the point?
Witnessing that misery!

It affects you
and you can't do a thing.

You can't change
the course of things.

That roughly sums up the situation.

It's past history,

but everything I told you
really did happen.

In the past, I tried to
establish a clear boundary

between us and the enemy.

As a cadre,
your position had to be clear.

If your opinions were wrong,
you exposed yourself to criticism.

What would you have done?

Faced with inappropriate ideas
or a malfunction,

you had no rights nor power.

Even the farm's management
had no say.

No matter if you thought
you were faultless,

the slightest mistake,
the tiniest inappropriate thought,

and you were criticized immediately.

You no longer dared say anything.

A cadre from Public Security

who wasn't inflexible?
Impossible.

It was a matter of principles.

You got used to living
in that kind of environment.

If you didn't have outright power,
you couldn't do anything.

Right?

The reality was as simple as that

and the hierarchy was very strict!

Who would have dared
to act on their thoughts?

You got your work done
with no room for negotiation.

There was no place for compassion

even faced with certain conduct...

But our integrity had to restrain us
so that we'd never lose control,

never insult or mistreat people
who had lacked discipline.

Because that was illegal!

Did that happen often?

Sometimes, but never excessively.

Public Security
was subject to discipline.

They weren't able to do
whatever they wanted.

Especially as rightists
were different from other criminals.

They weren't guarded by armed police

like the other criminals.

Also, the length of their sentences,
as I told you.

Undetermined length
for the rightists,

and 5 to 10 years for the others,
who, if they behaved well,

were able to make
an application to the courts.

Their sentence could be revised
and their release brought forward.

But the rightists, they might
delude themselves with hope!

It was the end for them.
They had hit jackpot!

What could we have done?

Some of them
were senior civil servants,

who had gotten into trouble
with their superiors

who then engineered
a plan against them.

Some of the accusations were false
or had been exaggerated.

There was nothing
rightist about them.

Even if we knew this,
we couldn't say anything.

Your class

and the opinions you were meant
to hold didn't give you that right.

So?

Who would have dared defend them?

It was a death sentence!

They were accused of being
members of an anti-Party clique,

but they weren't against the Party.

They'd just made some criticisms

about the Committee's
communist comrades.

But shortly after,
the anti-rightist campaign

revived the attacks

against those sanctioned
by the previous movement.

They were found to be rightist
without having said anything.

They hadn't said a single word

and yet they were called rightist.

After that,

they were sent
to the re-education labor camp.

I also found myself implicated.

I had raised
the following question:

Since the formerly convicted members
of the Party

can get their jobs back,
now we no longer talk

about an anti-Party clique,

is it possible that the others
also be rehabilitated

and get their jobs back?

Those who had been
demoted, sanctioned

and cast aside,

couldn't we consider

that they be rehabilitated
during the anti-rightist campaign?

I suggested to the Party
that it would be fair

that these people
be recalled from exile

and sent home.

For me, the question
of non-communists

was settled much too severely.

So, my case was reviewed

and I was accused
of being a rightist.

We were now two convicts,
left to our own devices.

He was transferred
from Zhangjiachuan to Jiabiangou.

You couldn't see each other?

As they had to go through Tianshui,

they let him come home.

He must have stayed in all

for about 20 minutes.

That day, he took
the writings of Mao Zedong.

He was happy.

He said to me:
"Don't look after my business!"

He seemed to be saying...

"There, I can re-educate myself.

I will be made

a new man.
I'll get a new look."

The works of Mao Zedong
under his arm,

he left.

When he called in at home,

he dropped off his things
and took others.

He gave me some recommendations
and left.

As he went, he was full of hope.

He seemed really...

really hopeful.

He wasn't particularly prepared.

He just took the clothes he needed.

People had told him
it was a good place.

Once they got there,

they were told
it was being turned

into a sort of idyllic farm

where families would be allowed.

He told us that one day,
we could all move in.

- Is that what he wrote from there?
- Yes, he did.

He died 2 years later.

He went to Jiabiangou
in October 1958.

At this time of year.

No, it was in September!

After the 15th of the 8th month
of the lunar calendar.

At first,

in his letters,

he told me
what their work involved.

Not once

did I hear him complain.

How often did he write?

At the start, he could still write.

Then, his health declined.

He couldn't stand due to hunger.

When he wrote,

he asked me to send walnuts,

because he was constipated.

His bowel movements stopped.

We didn't know he was living

in far harder conditions than us.

We didn't know.

But when we sent him food,
he didn't receive it.

He asked me for roasted flour,

but it never reached him.

The cadres must have
intercepted the parcels.

One day,
I sent him a blanket

in which I had hidden
a pound of roasted flour.

For a while,

I was under surveillance at work.

Then I was called back to school.

Under surveillance in the factory,

then called back
to resume my classes at school.

At the time,
I had my 4 children with me.

I had to leave them at home alone.

I did that till they went to school.

My children are 1 to 2 years apart.

Did you have enough to eat?

At the time,
no-one had enough to eat.

That's why he didn't want me
to send food anymore.

He told me to find
food for the children.

He couldn't imagine

the difficulties we had here.

But he insisted
that I didn't send food.

When his health degenerated terribly

and he couldn't stand,

Li Jinghang's wife and others
went to visit him.

I couldn't go
because of the children.

Imagine, their paternal grandmother
threw herself down a well,

and their grandfather was in prison.

I couldn't go.

Other families said:

"Let's go see them
and bring them some sustenance."

I couldn't.

I couldn't
because of the children.

My family was in Beijing,

my little sister was abroad,
my mother looked after the children.

I couldn't tell her
about my situation.

They didn't know.

My husband didn't want me
to help him

by sending anything.

Just some walnuts
for his constipation.

Actually, hunger gnawed at him,

but above all, he wanted me
to take care of the children.

That's what he asked me
in his letters.

In the last letter he sent me,

they were waiting for an inspection
by central government.

"I have to last another 3 days!"
he said.

The inspectors were due
3 days later.

The administration said
he died on December 27.

When he was in Jiabiangou,

he asked

my little sister
to send him from Beijing

books which cost several dozen yuans.

He wanted to acquire knowledge

in physiology and hygiene care.

As he had become too weak,

he'd been sent
to work in the infirmary

to look after the sick.

He'd taken
this care mission to heart.

But he needed
medical knowledge,

hence the books he had requested.

I sent some to him in Jiabiangou.

When he died,

they sent the books back to me.

I still have one left.

It's his writing.

The only writing I have of his.

That is what he says.

He had his convictions.

How did you get that book back?

It was in his things
they sent me back when he died.

Did the farm send them back?

Yes.

They sent them back.

I had several children
I raised on my own.

All 3 of them had measles.

I took one
to the hospital one night.

He also had pneumonia.

I dropped him off at home
and took the 2nd.

He had his shot, I brought him home
and took the 3rd on my back.

The nurse said to me:

"At this rate, you won't be home
before dawn!"

And indeed,
I had to run to the factory

where my work was supervised.

Oh, yes!

I left my 3 children at home
with measles.

With the fever they had,
they couldn't stand up.

I could only put them back in bed
when I got home.

They got over
the measles and dysentery.

Such young children
managed to recover.

I was worried
about the one with pneumonia,

but he survived.

I couldn't take any time off.

In my situation, who would have dared
give me a day off?

I had to wait till work was over

to take care of my children.

Sometimes I worked till midnight.

It was the time
of the Great Leap Forward.

When I got home after midnight,

I'd go to bed, fully clothed.

The children were sleeping in a row.

I'd go to bed
without taking my shoes off.

At 4 AM, I'd get up

and give each child a bread roll

before going to work.

That was how we lived.

When he hadn't been there long,

my husband asked me,
as if apologizing for the question:

"You must still have some corn flour

or roasted flour
we can't get here.

Sometimes I feel like
having a little cereal.

If you have too much at home,
don't hesitate to make some for me."

That's what he said.

He implied he was short of food
without daring to demand it.

When I read it,
of course I thought:

He doesn't have enough to eat.

We had 800g of wheat
per person per month.

Once the grain was made into flour,
I didn't give it to the kids.

I prepared it by roasting it.

For them, I made some corn flour

or another kind of flour
that I roasted.

There was a pinch for each child.

Then I sent him his flour.

Initially,

the first 2 times,
he received it all.

Then he didn't get anything.

How did I get it to him?

I was told:
"If you want it to reach him,

you must hide it in a blanket.

Wrap it inside
and don't tell the Post Office."

Or you'll get yelled at!

"Why is your husband an exception?
You mustn't send any food!"

They told me so.

That's why I was told
to hide it in a parcel.

And it did get to him.

But after that, nothing got to him.

He said there was point
sending him anything else.

He couldn't even exchange

ration stamps for food.

He told me not to send any more

and to make sure
the children had enough to eat.

That's it.

Later on, we lost touch.

I kept writing,
but he didn't answer.

I knew it was critical,

but I didn't lose hope.

I thought that his health
had declined temporarily,

but that he'd get better.

When he could no longer stand,
he said to me:

"You must get organized
and think of the children.

Get married to a worker or a peasant.

Find someone
from a good class background

so you don't make our children
bear such a burden."

That's what he said.

When did you receive
notification of his death?

When I received... when I learned...

He stopped writing

and I knew that was a bad sign,

but there was no other way
of getting news.

It was only in late January
or early February

that the farm informed us.

The wife of a leader
from Zhangchuan United Front

made the journey.

Her husband, much younger than us,
had died there in re-education.

When she came back,
as she had been there,

she told us about the situation.

Since our husbands were both
from Zhangchuan,

she had asked the camp cadres

who confirmed
the death certificate had been sent.

She hadn't brought
his belongings back,

because his coat, for example,

was worn by a cadre
who had gone to look after the sick.

He was supposed to return it
when he came back.

We never got it back.

My husband was dead.
What use was it to me?

As for the rest of his things,

the camp administration
sent them to the station.

We had a receipt to go get them.

They looked a mess.

They were all dirty.

They lived...

in caves,

and their things
were black with soot.

His blanket was all burned.

It was totally soiled,
covered in blood and pus.

As for the bowl
wrapped in the blanket,

it was filthy.

Bran and grain residue
were stuck everywhere.

It'd dried on the edges.

I couldn't even say
if it was his bowl.

I think it must have been

his bowl and his chamber pot.

They packed it all up
and returned it to us.

There was nothing presentable.

There were still a few shirts

that he hadn't wanted
to damage at work.

They were there, still clean.

Had the farm sent you
notification of his death?

Yes, they'd sent it.

They'd written:
"Died of heart failure."

The children knew.
No-one went to get the parcel.

We didn't dare to.

We knew that the day
the mailman brought

the notice to get the parcel,
it wouldn't be a good sign.

We knew that.

The children got down on their knees

and begged the neighbors

to go get the parcel
for their mother.

"Our dad must be dead,"
they said.

The eldest wasn't very big then.

We apprehended that day
which finally came.

This eventuality terrified us

and indeed, his things arrived.

We received
notification of his death,

but we also knew the organization
left a lot to be desired,

so we started hoping
they'd made a mistake.

When the luggage arrived,

we were faced with reality.

We had confirmation,
irrefutable proof.

Zhang Junqi came back
from Jiabiangou.

He had fallen for
"individual heroism".

He was accused being a criminal
who'd displayed individual heroism,

so they sent him to Jiabiangou.

He managed to hold out
and survived.

He came home in 1961.

And it was at the end of 1962

that we started a new family.

He was able to get
his teaching job back.

He taught
at Tianshui High School no. 1.

In Jiabiangou,
he had been abused

and had escaped several times.

But he'd managed to save his skin.

It's because of all this
that we were able to start a family.

With all this suffering,
we understood each other.

I didn't follow
my former husband's recommendations.

He'd told me to marry
a worker or a peasant

and that if we had nothing in common,
it didn't matter,

because I had to think
of our children.

They shouldn't bear the burden
of a family from a poor class.

That was his point of view.

But I was well aware

how impossible it was!

How could a worker or a peasant

agree to marry someone like me?

It was unrealistic.

So, I started living
with Zhang Junqi.

We used to be colleagues
at Tianshui Normal School.

During the Cultural Revolution,
they accused him

of being the leader
of a clique of conservatives.

During the Revolution,

the rebel groups
mistreated him so badly

that he was found half-paralyzed
and with high blood pressure.

He lived like that
until he died in 1984.

From the Cultural Revolution
until 1984?

Until 1984.

He's the father
of my 2 youngest children.

When my first husband's health

declined towards the end,
he pretty much stopped writing.

He didn't want...

He was afraid
we'd worry about him

and above all, that we'd visit him.

He was scared of that.

He never talked about the abuse.

Even towards the end,

he didn't talk about
his living conditions over there,

the humiliations and abuse
he suffered.

He just said
his health wasn't good

and asked me to put
all my hopes in the children.

He said not to expect
any more of him.

That's what he said.

At the time,
he didn't have the strength

to sit up
after going to the bathroom.

But he still wrote that letter.

That was the last one.

There was no point writing to him,
the letters didn't arrive.

Was December 27 the day he died?

I still wonder about that.

I still wonder...