Dead Alive (1992) - full transcript

Deep in the lush jungles of the isolated Skull Island lies the habitat of the elusive, yet endangered and utterly vicious "Simian Raticus", or better known as by its common name, the Sumatran Rat-Monkey, a hideous mix of a virus-carrying slave-ship rat and a tree monkey. Presently, back in New Zealand's Wellington, the oppressed Lionel Cosgrove who lives with his despotic mother Vera, has finally found his soulmate, Paquita, but sadly, his world will rapidly change when after a stroll at the local Zoo, a live specimen of the rare species will bite Vera. Now that she's got the "bite", with the infection spreading and turning Vera into a festering, puss-squirting living dead ravenous for flesh, things are bound to get out of hand, as an ever-growing collection of stiffs and other stimulant-enhanced zombie misfits detained in Lionel's house basement will demand immediate action. Poor Lionel he needs to step up and clear up the mess, but above all, summon the courage to confront his decomposing mummy and the family's ugly secret. Will he save the day?

I've got the vibes.
This thing is evil, man.

I've got a bad feeling.

Shut up and keep moving.

Is big mistake.

Let it go, man.
We set it down and we let it go.

It's only a bloody monkey
for Christ's sake.

Now pick it up.

Listen, if you no pick up the cage...

You no get the big Dollars.

Shit.

Don't move!



What are these buggers playing at?

He says, the rat-monkey
must be set free.

He says that we must leave
this valley and never return.

Or the evil spirits will
exact their revenge!

Unless we leave this valley immediately,
they will slit our bellies open...

And spread our carcasses across
a cave found for the bats to feast on.

Is that so?

You tell these jokers that
I have the big rubber stamp...

From the boss man in Palembang.

Permit.
Lookysee, permit.

Permit.

I'm a New Zealand zoo official.

And this monkey is going to Newtown.

Move it!



Start her up!
Quick!

Drive you buggers!

Step on it!

Wait!

The little bugger bit me.

Zingaya.

Zingaya!

You've got the bite.

There's...
there's some Dettol in the jeep.

Oh, jeez, no!

No!
What are you doing?

Zingaya.

Oh, shit.

Zingaya!
- Zingaya!

Subtitles: NL Subs Darkone

Thank you.

Hi, Paquita.

Good morning, Roger.

That's the lot.

Tell your dad that I'll be round
on Thursday with the saveloys.

That's a pretty dress, Paquita.

See you later, alligator.

You like that boy, Paquita?

Shuffle the cards.

We will see if you and Roger
are destined to be together.

Create his image in your mind.

And cut the cards.

Paquita?

I thought we had
seen the last of this.

But there you go,
you start over again.

This...

Is you.

And this...

Is the man of your future.

But he doesn't look like Roger.

It is not Roger!

There will be one romance.

And it shall last forever.

Romance.

What about money?

This man...

Will enter your life...

In the near future.

And you will become...

Romantically entangled with him.

almost immediately.

But who is it?

You will recognize this man...

By the symbol...

Of the star...

And of the moon.

What is this?

Paquita, we have a customer.

It's bad, yes?

Paquita!

Uh, just dropping of our order.

Mom says to pack the biscuits on top,
because she doesn't want any broken.

Uh, actually...

I'll take one of these now.

Sorry.

Santa Maria.

Better be off then.

Lionel!

Lionel?!

There's a beetle.

Eh?

There, under the fridge.

Horrid little creature
scuttled right in front of me.

I thought I told you
to spray this house.

The place is infested with vermin.

I'll get on to that
straight away, mum.

Lionel?

You'll be pleased to know that your mother
has been voted treasure elect...

Of the WLWL.

The Wellington Ladies Welfare League.

That's great, mum.

And on Friday,
the president, Nora Matterson...

Is dropping by to offer
her congratulations.

Wow, the president.

Oh, God!

Look at the state of this place.

All the windows will
have to be polished.

Look at this dust.
It's an inch thick.

You'll have to do the silver.

I polished it last week.

And the drapes need cleaning.

I just moved the lawn.

Does this look like a well
maintained frontage?

Get off, you stupid dog.

Here, I'll help you.

No, I manage.

Your brother usually
does the deliveries.

Not today.

Is a big house.

You live here always?

Yeah.

You like my dog?

It's very big, yes?

Any bigger and he'd belong in a zoo.

Zoo, pardon?

The zoo, you know...

Animals?

Cages?

Claro.

I'd like to go with zoo.

I go with the zoo?

Oh, no.
No, no.

You want to go to the zoo?

Yes, please.

Oh.

Oh, okay.

Tomorrow?

I'll meet you outside the shop.

Okay.

I have to go.

My jardiniere,
it shattered.

Oh, mum,
that was your favorite.

It would never have happened if
you'd taken more care with the dusting.

I can get you another one.

It's irreplaceable.

A present from your father.

Our last wedding anniversary.

Before...

He was taken from us.

I miss him too.

Look!

Gary Grant?
He is such a dream.

I wish I could be Grace Kelly.

She's so pretty.

That beautiful blonde hair.

Lionel?

What is wrong?

Sorry.

When I was young,
I was at the beach and I...

I nearly drowned.

When I fell off this pier.

My dad dived in
to save me, bur...

As he was climbing out this...

Freak wave just...

Washed him out to sea, and...

He drowned.

Oh, the little monkeys,
look Lionel.

There, for you.

Poor little bugger.

You, get out of there,
you vicious, little shit!

Reckon they're only found
on one island, you know.

Story goes these great, big rats...

Come scullying of the slave ships.

And raped all the little tree monkeys.

You know, the natives use
them in black magic rituals.

Really?
- Yeah.

Don't ask me how.

Probably suck the blood
of virgins, eh, eh?

I want to sit down.

Wow.

Sorry.

Now hold still, Brett.
Smile!

Mum?!

Mum?!

Holy shit!

Look at this!
It bit me.

I've been savaged!

And my dress.

Here, I help you.

Lionel?

Take me home.

There you are, Vera.

Now you just rest up.

I'll be back in a couple of days
to change that dressing.

Thanks, nurse McTavish.

It's all right, Lionel,
I'll see myself out.

How about a cup of tea?

I don't think you have any idea of
the pain and anxiety you've caused me.

I thought you were a trustworthy boy,
but going out behind my back with that...

That oilish shopgirl.

Kissing and cuddling in public.

Mum.
- Don't interrupt me.

Mum, she's...
- I'll tell you what she is.

She is experienced.

Why have deliberately gone
out of your way to upset me?

I'm sorry.

It won't happen again.

I don't deserve all
this attention, darling.

If you need anything during the night,
you just call.

You're so good to me.

Night, mum.

Lionel?

Hello!

Keep your voice down!

Look, I have your jacket.

Yeah, I'll get it tomorrow.

What?

It could have waited
till the morning.

Is that all you have to say?

Look, I' m really sorry
about the zoo, Paquita.

It's just mum.

She's...

You know.

We go out again?

To a movie?

Look.

I'd like to.

But it's not...

It's just not possible.

Not possible?

But we are romantically entangled.

Entangled?

Look.

Look, I don't know
what you're thinking, but...

I just can't see you anymore.

Oh, Paquita.

There will be one romance.

And it shall last forever.

Oh, no.

Oh, wow!
Mum, what a beautiful day.

I'm going to call nurse McTavish.

No, you'll do no such thing.
I'm perfectly all right.

You look after me, Lionel.

Nora Matheson.

Ladies Welfare League.

Mother is expecting us.

The Mathesons are here.

No, mum, you're not well.

Get my dress.

Oh.

Jeez!

Please go back to bed, mum. I'll put
them off, it's only the Mathesons.

It's the WLWL.

Careful, it'll stick on crooked.

Our...

Main objective next year
is to...

Try to get some of the younger
generation involved in the league.

That's why I'm so pleased
you're on the committee Ve...

Thank you, Nora.

It's a great...

Honour.

Have you had any thought on
the agenda for the annual meeting?

Annual meeting.

Annual meeting.

An...

An...

What we need is another war!

Yes, dear.

I hear sir Edmund Hillary is planning
an attempt on the South Pole.

I track that.

Have some more beans,
Mrs. Matheson.

I'll have a few of those, lad.

I really think we should
be going, dear.

Thank you, Lionel.

What?

No pudding?

Only custard, I'm afraid.

Custard!

I haven't had a good custard in years.

She never makes the stuff.

Damn fine custard.

Rich and creamy,
just the way I like it.

Touchy on the old food front, eh?

Never mind.

That was a fine meal, boy.

Thank you, Mr. Matheson.

Is it my imagination?

Or is your mother a bit
off color today?

I don't know.

Right you are, boy.

Oh God, mum.

Don't let them take me away.

I'll look after you, mum.

I promise.

Lionel!

What's wrong?

Lionel, you must listen to me.

Dark forces are merging against you.

My grandmamma has seen it.

The path of hate is one of fear.

And great danger.

Fernando!

Paquita, wait!

God, mum!

Oh, Fernando!

Your mother ate my dog!

Not all of it.

Get nurse McTavish, quick!

How long has your mother been like this?
- Since this morning.

Oh... um...

I'll call an ambulance.

You pack some things
for the hospital.

I'll do it.

Nurse McTavish?

Your mother is dead, Lionel.

I'm sorry, Lionel.

There was nothing we could do.

You're not alone.

There's a lot of people
that care about you.

We'll all help.

I'll make the arrangements.

You don't have to worry
about a thing.

She love you very much...

Which toothbrush?

Lionel?

Your mothers toothbrush,
the white one or the green one?

Reen. Green!

Mother, you are looking well today.

I woke up this morning
and I feel a 100% better.

How about a nice cup of tea?
I'll just put the jug on.

Sorry mother, that were
your favorite teapot.

It slipped out me hand.

Never mind that.

Bed jacket, nightgown.

Slippers and toothbrush.

Where's your mother?

She's gone to hospital.

I didn't hear the ambulance.

I know.

No... um...

She went in Mrs. McTavish's car.

Sort of uh...

Well sort of...

Sort of lying across the backseat really.
Her and Mrs. McTavish off to hospital.

But her night bag?

I'll take that.

So, it's you who has been
poaching my rabbits?

Lionel?

I have a good mind to let you
have it with both barrels.

But it weren't me, sir.
It was that Johnny Morris that did it.

Well, I go now.

You just be on your way,
young lad.

And if I see you here again...

I'll give you what for!

What do you want?

You're not from the immigration?

I told you people I lost
my bloody papers, okay?

My family left Latvia.

During the occupation.

We were hunted like dogs!

I just want to buy some...

Sedatives.

What do you think I am,
a goddamn doctor?

I don't sell sedatives.

Tranquilizers I do have.

But not for the general public.

It's lucky for you your uncle Heinrich
is a pretty good joker, uh?

Do you want a syringe...

Or are you going to sniff?

Oh, Lionel, I am happy to see you.

Tell me about these...

Dark forces.

Death surrounds him.

There will be torment.

And suffering.

You are marked!

Lionel.

Lionel, if something is wrong,
I can...

Nothing's wrong, okay?

It contains the power of the white light.

It will protect you.

Keep it with you always.

How is your mother?

Oh, fine.

Yeah, they want to keep her
in hospital for a few more days.

I didn't see her!
She ran right in front of me.

They must have discharged her early.

It was a dreadful shock,
losing Vera like that.

I had lunch with her only last Friday.
Picture of health.

That boy of hers,
where is he?

Fine lad.

Lionel called half a dozen times
in the last two days.

Very keen to view the remains.

Of course I had to put him of,
it would be far to distressing.

As it is, it has been
a damn difficult embalming job.

Oh, my God.
Excuse me.

I can tell you're not a Cosgrove.

Far to good looking.

Pardon?

Les is the name.
I'm Lionel's...

Lionel's uncle?

And who might you be?

Paquita Maria Sanchez.

Latin, eh?

Excuse me, father,
I'm looking for Lionel?

I haven't seen him
and if he's not here in 10 minutes...

His mother will be delivered into
the hands of the Lord in his absence.

You, idiot!

I told you to stay in there.

The embalming machine should
have been turned off half an hour ago!

Cranial blowout.

You're a halfwit!

This is coming of your wages.

I'll fix the mop.
- No leave it!

We've got to get the body
to the service.

Knew Vera, did you?

I was her brother.

Very close we were.

Terrible occasion.

I'll be needing a few
stiff drinks after this.

Would you...

Care to join me?

You look like you could do with
a bit of a stiff one yourself.

Fiery.

The theme of today's service
is the sanctity of motherhood.

Vera Cosgrove will be surely missed
by her friends and grieving family.

For she was indeed a fine woman.

And everything a boy
could wish for in a mother.

Though deprived of his father
at an early age.

Was blessed with an abundance
of motherlove.

Though our dear ones depart.

They live on in our hearts
and memories.

Until in the fullness of time we too...

Depart from this world.

Until we are reunited once again.

A Christians spirit is eternal.

Yea, whosoever believeth
in the lord Jesus Christ shall be.

Resurrected.

Poor Lionel.

He was always dreadfully
attached to his mother.

I've seen some displays of grief in
my day, but nothing quite like that.

Do you need anything?

I'm fine.

I called to see you yesterday, but...

You didn't answer the door.

I just want to be left alone
for a while, okay?

At least he's well provided for.

Yes, well, the Cosgroves
were hardly paupers.

He'll be the sole beneficiary.

Hey, guys!

Look what I found.

What are you doing
with this thing?

Digging up a few stiffs?

Hey, Void.

I reckon he's one of those guys
that rudes corpses.

Yeah, one of them macrofiliacs.

Necrofiliac, you stupid asshole.

I bet he's got girlie's grots on
under his strides.

Shut up!

You know what you are?

A bloody sicko.

Yeah, mental.

Get his wallet.

That's my mother your pissing on.

It's a zombie!

No!

What in God's name
is going on here?

The Devil is amongst us.

Stay back, boy.

This calls for divine intervention.

I kick ass for the Lord!

No!

Here you are, mum.

Void!

Use the spoon.

Hey, hey!

Cut that out.

How's it going, Lionel?

Come on, mate,
I'm dying for a slash.

I've got a urinary infection.

Christ what a stink.

Yeah, a dog must have got caught
under the house and died.

Can't have been easy for you
these past few weeks, Lionel.

Not with your mother gone.

Whose that eh...

Little girl you have been seeing?

What?

You know, the little Latin number
with the cute bum?

Paquita.

Oh yeah, Paquita.

That's the one.

She's a bit of all right.

Wouldn't mind her doing
the grail with me.

So.

All this is er...

Coming your way?

Of course...

Your mother was always intending
to leave me a bequest.

Oh.
- Oh, yes.

We talked about it many times.

It was a foregone conclusion, really.

Just with her dying suddenly, she...

Didn't get the change to
include me in her will.

Oh, well, you have to talk to
the lawyers about it, uncle Les.

Don't bring the bloody lawyers into it.

This is a private family matter.

What the hell is that?

It's the pipes.
They do that sometimes.

That's not the pipes, Lionel.
That's somebody doing the business.

Please, uncle Les,
you've just got to leave.

So you found your dads
old stag movies?

It that the one with the donkey
and the chambermaid?

No, please!

I understand, Lionel.

Some things a man prefers
to do on his own.

It's all part of the grieving process.

Be seeing you, Lionel.

Nijinsky was of what nationality?

Nijinsky is Russian.

Russian is right, very good.
Which number do you want?

13...

13, he's going for
the Devils number.

I can offer you $36 if you take
the money in the bank, Peter.

Lionel?

I dropped a shilling.
It must have...

Rolled down the drain.

I come to see and you shut
the door in my face.

You build a big wall.
I telephone and you don't answer.

Why?

Well, speak to me.

You don't want to see me anymore?

It was a mistake.

Sorry.

Goodbye.

Paquita!

Leave me alone.

I'm sorry!

Leave me alone!

Take your hands of her,
you creep!

You know what they're saying
about you, don't you?

You've gone funny in the head!

A real bloody weirdo.

Touch her again and I'll knock you
in the middle of next week.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Who is a cutie?

Who's a cute, little Selwyn then?

Hello.

Peek-a-boo. Peek-a-boo.

So I said...

Hyperactive.

So, I tackled this guy, right?

I brought him down
this real bone cruncher.

And the ball rolls free,
so I scooped it up.

You know what I did?
I dropkicked from 50 yards out.

God, you should have seen it. Put us
three points ahead, gave us the match.

Fantastic!

Hello. Lionel.

Quite a collection of stiffs
you got down there.

And I thought you were
such a quiet chappie.

Uncle Les,
they're not what you think.

Back off, mate!

Lay a hand on me and
I'll have you for breakfast.

Sorry, Lionel.

If I don't report this,
I'll be an accessory after the fact.

I hope they can keep it out of the papers,
for you mothers sake.

She always hated a scandal.

This is hard for me, Lionel.

Informing on my sister's boy and all.

Of course, if I was to keep my mouth shut,
I'd be taking a hell of a risk.

Yeah, put me through
to the police, please.

Of course, if I was to...

Get my fair share of Vera's estate.

I'd be more inclined to protect
a member of the family.

You want the money.

Detective sergeant Barlow?
I'd like to report a multiple murder.

Yes, I'll wait.

The money.

And the house.

Blood is thicker than water, Lionel.

Yeah, good day.
Is Les about?

There you are, bastard!

Thought we'd pop over and
take a squish at your new digs.

Yeah mate, why not?
- Rip the skin off a few brown ones.

Yeah, we'll make a night of it.
Where are you going?

Just for a walk.
- No, mate.

These people want a feast.
Let's get the party going.

We'll get some savories, right?

You got rid of those stiffs yet?

Hey, Les, let's stick
some real music on.

Yeah, coming through Bassa,
clear the dance floor.

I don't know what kind
of kinky shit you're into.

But I want those things buried.

Hang on a minute, mate.

No trouble at all.

Come on, baby, let's dance!

No good asking Lionel.
He's nothing like his old man.

He was a real stickman. Used to pull
the birds like you wouldn't believe.

Don't talk about my father like that.

Tasty.

Have you got anything else
that I can nibble on?

So, you know, I throw him a dummy.
Fooled him completely.

You got to imagine this is like...this is like
10, 15 yards out from the sideline.

Seven of these big buggers are coming
towards me. So what do I do?

I...I...I put my head down...

And I shocked again.
I touched down right between the posts.

You know, the coach reckons I'm a dead set
for the next All Back Trails.

What do you think about that, Paquita?

You could be going out
with the next Bob Scott.

I take it back!

I'm sorry I called Nabokov a pedophile!

Please, get off.

Jesus, mate, you shouldn't
take it so personally.

What do we have here?
A cute, little senorita.

Go away!

Come on, darling, don't be a party-pooper.
Come and have a drink.

I bet you go of like a rocket.

You little bitch,
I'll get you!

Where did she go?
You foreign bitch!

Hello?

Hello?

Paquita!

Paquita.

Death surrounds him.

They're not...

Dead exactly.
They're just...

Sort of rotting.

Nurse McTavish.

Father McGruder.

Your mother.

I don't know what to do, you know.

I don't know how to stop it.

You must destroy them.

I can't.

Not mum.

That thing is not your mother.

Come on, Lez, join in.

I'll do it.

What's this?

Two lovebirds flying the coop is it?
- Out of the way uncle Les!

You're not going anywhere, mate.
until the house papers come through.

Come on, Lionel.

Come on!

You foreign little bitch.

Time you and I
got better acquainted.

Help!
Someone!

Please!

For God's sake, run!

Not so loud, mate!

Bastardo!

Bitch!

Padre de dios!

Help us!
- Bugger that!

Run, Paquita!

Help!

Help, help, help!

Help!

Help!

Some of my best friends are pedophiles!

Please don't kill me.

It's okay.
It's me.

That's a nasty plaque problem
you got there, mate.

Got a bit of a cavity there, mate.

Mandy?

It's me.

Rita.

Remember?

You mutant little shit!

You'll be okay.

Let me in, for Christ's sake!
Let me in!

Let me in!
Help me, help!

Paquita, we must.

Come on, help!
Quickly!

There's thousands of them!

What the hell is this?

Leave her alone.

She's been bitten.
You know what that means?

She's going to turn
into one of them!

I won't!
I won't!

Help me!

You want some help?

Stay out of it!

I know what to do.
She's history!

I've read the comics!
I will bodily dismember her!

There's no room for hysterical women
in my unit!

Step right up,
you creepo bastards!

Lionel?

Paquita!

Just as well someone around
here's got balls, eh, girls?

Goddamn, little rugrat!

Get out of the way!

You little maggot!

Where are you,
you little crawler?

No!

Lionel!

Holy Christ...

Vera.

Leave me.

Party's over.

Rita?

No!

You just get out of here.

What?

Haven't seen mum yet.

Come to mommy, Lionel.

Come on!

No!

You don't scare me, mum.

All my life...

You told me nothing but lies!

All that stuff about dad...

None of that was true!

You drowned them both, mum.

Dad and that...

Blonde woman, you...

Caught them together
and you killed them, didn't you?

How dare you speak
to me like that?

Didn't you?!

Lionel, here quick!

Slut!

Don't you touch her!

No one will ever love you
like your mother.

No!

Such a good boy.

No!

Subtitles NL Subs Darkone.