David Searching (1997) Movie Script

[music playing]

[bell ringing]

[music playing]

We have to talk.

I just had the worst nightmare.

[MUSIC ITCHY TRIGGER FINGER,

"CAN'T WASTE ANOTHER DAY"]

So, why documentaries?

That doesn't seem very lofty for

someone as-- smart and handsome

as you.

Well, um, when I was about 10,

we got cable TV in my house.

And with cable TV, of

course, came remote control.

And suddenly, nothing

else happened in my house.

I mean, my father

would sit in his chair

and just flip through all

the channels all day long.

There were only 13

channels, but he would just

go one through the next,

through the next, to the end,

and then go all the

way back around again.

And he would never

watch anything.

And I'd sit there for hours

just looking at him do this.

And I would think,

surely, he would

stop and watch a show

or a complete news

program, something.

But he never did.

And so I became a documentarian.

Huh?

Um, the separation was,

you know, difficult.

But I'm finally

starting to date.

So what do you want to do?

OK.

Men suck.

They really suck.

And you wanna know the

worst part about it was?

The hotel was in Jersey.

He wanted me to commute.

I'm sorry.

It's not your fault. OK.

Rub.

So what happened to you?

Well, we had this truly

horrid evening during which

he ate veal and talked

incessantly about his trip

to the country house

in the Mercedes.

I mean, not once did he use the

word "car," just "Mercedes."

Rub.

Oh, god, that is so gross.

He didn't even

pass the cable test.

I don't even know that.

Well, I bring up cable TV

as a socially relevant topic,

like it's something that

shaped the current world view.

Uh-huh.

If the guy can

respond intelligently,

he gets a second look.

And if he can't--

Jesus, David, you are such

a slave to pop culture.

All right.

What else?

Well, after making every

conceivable excuse to escape,

he just invited me up

for sex, just like that.

So you wanna come up for sex?

It was appalling.

Men are.

Thank you.

Come on, David.

You know I wish every

man was like you.

If more men were like me,

the human race would die out.

You really oughta sleep

with somebody someday.

Gwen.

It's not like I'm a virgin.

Two years, I haven't

seen anybody yet.

And doesn't virginity grow back?

What?

Has it really been two years?

Shit.

OK.

Um, the doorbell just rang,

and she's in the hallway.

Let's see how this goes.

Hi.

You ride a motorcycle.

Oh, yeah.

It's the '90s.

Are you, uh,

"spacious two bedroom,

one bath, one gay male"?

That's me.

I know it's a stupid way to put

it, but I thought it was cute.

Oh, no.

Hey, it is.

You're just, um, a lot

younger than I expected.

Oh, um, come in.

Have a seat.

Is the age thing

gonna be a problem?

'Cause really, there's

not a whole lot I can do.

OK.

Oh, wow.

'60s.

Were you even conceived then?

It came with the apartment.

You get used to it.

By the way, you're on camera.

Wait, you're--

you're filming this?

DAVID: Yeah.

Yeah, I film everything.

You see, these interviews

are sort of hard,

and I have so many of them

to do, that, you know,

I just wanted to remember.

This way, I can get a

really good look at who's

gonna be sharing my life.

Ah, your apartment.

DAVID: What?

Who's gonna be

sharing your apartment.

I mean, there is

a big difference.

We're not getting married,

we're just sharing rent.

DAVID: Of course.

Yeah, you're right.

So, um, what's your story?

Well, if you mean why am I

looking for a place to live,

I, um-- I just broke

up with my husband.

DAVID: Oh, I'm sorry.

Don't be.

He's a prick.

DAVID: Oh, I see.

If you must know,

I moved in with him,

and he brought out some

handcuffs, and some whips,

and chains.

And I thought,

hey, maybe I oughta

know about this before I

married you, so um-- I'm moving.

DAVID: You whipped him?

No shit?

It's not like I wanted to.

He asked.

DAVID: Do you always do

everything you're asked?

Well, I said "I do,"

so I thought I'd better.

Anyway, are you gonna

always sound like my mother?

You're kidding, right?

Uh, yeah.

No.

Exaggerating.

DAVID: Look, um, I'm not sure

that this is gonna work out.

So how serious are you on

this like, rent on time thing?

That fire escape, um,

do you think that would

support a bungee cord?

Do you like cats?

I have three.

I'm a charter subscriber

of "Cat Fancy" magazine.

I have all the issues

wrapped in plastic.

And I hang them on my wall

so all I see all day long are

these adorable little kitties.

And my kitties'

names are Portabella,

Mirabella, and Griselda.

And they sleep in the

same room with me.

And when I die, I'm gonna give

my apartment to them and--

DAVID (ON PHONE):

Hi, is this Gwen?

GWEN (ON PHONE): Yeah.

DAVID (ON PHONE):

Hi, it's David.

The apartment in East

Village, remember?

GWEN (ON PHONE): Yes.

DAVID (ON PHONE): Look, are

you still looking for a place?

GWEN (ON PHONE): Well, uh, yeah.

Oh my god, I love her.

DAVID: What?

Who?

Her.

DAVID: Oh.

Oh, yeah, Flaming June.

Yeah, she's my favorite.

Obviously.

It's the only thing

you have on the walls.

DAVID: Well, I have that

horrible combination

of poor and picky.

Frederic Lord Leighton.

How come I've heard of him?

Well, I don't know

that much about art.

I just saw her at

this flea market,

and she looked so peaceful

that I had to have her.

I mean, there I was at this

flea market on 6th Avenue.

The one on 26th?

I love that one.

I buy everything there.

Yeah, that's the one.

And then she just jumped

out at me and made me stop.

I mean, this sleeping woman

just stopped the world for me

and made me smile.

And I forgot all about the

homeless man who was asking

for change over my shoulder,

and this woman who was screaming

obscenities in

Italian at this man

who wouldn't let her sell her

macrame at his T-shirt table.

I don't know.

I, uh-- I felt peace.

So I spent my

grocery money on her.

Well, it's a beautiful color.

I love her night gown.

So anyway, what do you do

about food around here?

Oh, are you hungry?

I'm sorry.

Oh, no, no.

I just thought if we're

gonna live together,

I oughta know what the

arrangements are about food.

Of course, yeah.

Well, when I can afford it,

there's a Mickey D's down

on the corner.

And if not, I just

go to the deli

where you can get Slim-Fast

in a can for a dollar,

and that usually

kills any appetite

that ramen noodles can't fix.

Well, I actually like to cook.

So, I don't know, what

condition is the kitchen in?

I mean, does it work?

Did when I moved in.

OK.

And where is it?

Oh, it's, um, over

there somewhere.

Somewhere?

OK.

So, um, what do

you like to cook?

Uh.

Oh, I like to cook cookies.

DAVID: Cookies?

Well, yeah.

You know, cookies.

Well, I guess, actually,

it's not cooking.

It's more like baking

or mixing, really.

Actually, I like the dough.

I just like to, you

know, eat the dough.

Sometimes, I don't

even bake them.

I just eat the dough.

DAVID: Anything else?

Well, you know,

whatever there is,

I just take whatever ingredients

you have in the kitchen,

and I just put it together

and make whatever.

It's kinda like, you know,

I don't know-- some kid

and a chemistry set.

What?

Why are you looking

at me like that?

So with the money Grandmother

left me, I left home,

and I moved to the city.

She gave me everything, really.

She bought me my camera.

And when my father

complained that I

was spending too

much money on film,

she bought me cases and stuff.

Do you want some fruit?

There's nothing to decide.

And everything to accept.

James Baldwin.

1960.

Hey, you.

Come here.

Yeah, what's up, mamita?

What was that about?

Did you think you were

like, gonna get some?

I don't know.

What?

You gonna give me some?

Oh, yeah.

I'd like to give you some.

Um.

Do you, like, have a lot

of dietary restrictions?

No.

Why do you ask that?

I don't know.

It took us like, a half an

hour to find this place.

I mean, you shot down every

suggestion that I made.

And then suddenly, we're here

at a health food restaurant.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I-- I just really like hummus.

It's my life.

Would you like some fruit?

We swing with

the nonsequential.

Joan Didion.

1972.

I thought this was

a job interview.

DAVID: It is.

Why am I on camera?

DAVID: I'm a documentarian.

I record everything of

importance in my life.

Well, since I'm

conducting the interview,

shouldn't the camera

be facing you?

DAVID: I didn't say

I was very good.

Why do you think

I need this job?

OK.

Hi.

It's me.

Oh, no, no, no.

I'm fine, really.

I called to tell you

that things are going

really good at the restaurant.

So, uh, I don't need

as much this month, OK?

So if you just send about, um,

half, that'd be really good.

No, really, Brian.

If you send more, I'm just

gonna send it back, OK?

Uh, yeah.

Well, um, I miss it too.

Gwen?

GWEN: Yeah, I'm in here.

-Hey.

What's that?

Do you like it?

I swiped it for you.

It wasn't easy.

So how was your interview?

Well, I start tomorrow.

That's great.

You don't like very excited.

Gwen, making $7 an hour to file

books into their proper place

in the Dewey Decimal System

is not exactly the stuff

that my orgasms are made of.

I know, David.

But come on, it pays the rent.

Oh, two things.

Events of the day-- your

agent called, and he said you

have to call him back today.

Cool.

What's the second thing?

There's a strange man

passed out on the couch.

Did you get luck today?

Uh, no.

He walked in in the

middle of the afternoon.

He said, I used to live here.

And he fell flat

out on the couch.

I thought he was dead.

[coughing]

And then I heard that, and

I hung up on the 911 lady.

Do they really still use

the Dewey Decimal System?

Hello?

Why don't you let

him sleep it off?

It's gonna be a lot

easier when he's lucid.

Gwenny, there's a complete

stranger with keys to my house

sleeping on my sofa.

I want to know

how this happened.

Yeah, well, maybe when he

can speak, he'll tell you.

Right now, you're just gonna

get a bunch of psychedelic puke

from him.

So just let him sleep, OK?

[retching]

Well, you got the

psychedelic puke anyway.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

BEAU (ON PHONE):

David, Jesus, man.

What's the matter with you?

Who is this?

BEAU (ON PHONE):

It's your agent?

Who do you think it is?

Beau?

BEAU (ON PHONE):

You're damn right, boy.

Listen up.

Why didn't you call

me back yesterday?

I have some very

important people

who want to meet with you.

I didn't get your

message until after 6:00.

BEAU (ON PHONE): And you

thought I had a life?

I was in the office

till after 10:00.

There's a lot about this

business you need to learn,

pal.

Listen.

Where are you?

The LIE.

Look, I've set up a meeting

with PBS, this afternoon,

my office, noon.

My office-- you

remember where that is?

Agents shouldn't be sarcastic.

Agents are only sarcastic.

Anything real that comes

from it is accidental.

DAVID (ON PHONE): Comforting.

You're damn right it's

comforting, you asshole.

I'm the only one who's

gonna tell you the truth

in this whole fucking business.

Now this afternoon--

I can't.

I start a job at the library.

The hell you do.

Look, don't dick with me, David.

This is PBS, mating

insects or some shit.

Right up your reality

fucking alley.

Am I wrong, pal?

It sounds cool, but I--

But nothing.

Look, you find your

ass there, or you

get yourself a new agent.

Shit.

You've gotta be kidding.

Look.

I'm sorry, David.

But Beau asked me to tell

you that the guys from PBS

canceled the meeting, and

he'll call you when they--

when they want to reschedule.

Oh.

So, what?

So?

Go home.

You should be more careful.

I'm sorry, I didn't

see you until I just--

Yeah, I noticed.

I saw you coming up the street.

I hoped you'd bump into me.

What?

Why?

Are you kidding?

'Cause you're cute.

You know, I, um-- I live here.

Can I get you a cup of coffee?

Um.

Sure.

I'm Mark.

David.

Come on.

So.

I'm sorry.

I can't do this.

I'm sorry.

Shit.

[music "william tell overture"]

Are you David?

Yes.

Uh.

And you are?

Walter.

Walter Pryor.

How provincial.

No, not really.

Look, um-- I don't mean to

be rude, but who are you?

I'm sorry.

This must be odd.

Odd?

Yeah, it must be.

Well, yes.

Anyway, I used to live here.

And two nights ago, I had

a riff with my girlfriend,

and she told me to go

back from whence I came.

And since I used to live here--

You took her literally.

Yeah.

14 hours of scotch.

Uh-huh.

Understandable, I think.

You OK?

Oh.

I mean, did I interrupt?

Yeah.

Yeah, a lot of self-pity.

You interrupted the

king of self-deprecation

in an intense practice session.

Hm.

Sorrow.

Makes for a bad day, doesn't it?

Yeah, you could say that.

Strange choice of wallowing

music though, don't you think?

The "William Tell Overture"?

"The Lone Ranger."

Sorry?

"The Lone Ranger" theme.

Oh, yeah.

Hi-ho, Silver, away.

All that.

It's a pop-ish reference though.

I mean, it's a classic piece.

Yes, I know that.

But it's just I have this,

um, thing about heroes.

Gwen and I, together,

have this thing.

Gwen is the other

woman who lives here.

Yeah.

Gwen and I met this

morning when I rose.

She's a charming girl.

She's charming.

She said that I could use

the shower and the telephone.

Right.

Anyway, we have this

thing about heroes.

See, we don't have a lot of

luck with men in general, Gwen

and I. And we get depressed.

And we talk about heroes.

I mean, it's like a

game, a fantasy thing.

Do you really talk that

way, or is it a put-on?

My, you are in a

foul mood, aren't you?

So you don't have

any luck with men?

But you are homosexual.

Yeah.

So you fantasize

about heroes, eh?

Yeah.

Um, you know, knights

in shining armor

to save us from the banality.

Decent men through

history who were

there for us when we need them.

Batman, Superman

and the like, huh?

Well, Batman, yes.

Superman, no.

Why not?

Isn't his movie stylish enough?

Look, it's complicated, OK?

No, I'm sorry.

This intrigues me.

Please go on.

OK.

Well, see, Superman was

a guy from another planet

who had all these special

powers that made him invincible.

But Batman was

just a really smart

guy with a lot of

money who bought

a lot of really neat equipment.

And he was human.

He had-- he screwed up.

I mean, he killed

people after all.

What?

And you consider that an

important human trait?

The ability to commit murder?

No.

What I meant was he

got carried away.

Right?

I mean, he had human emotions.

He was a human being.

But, besides, we

try to stay away

from the obviously

fictional heroes.

We tend to move more

toward religious

and historical figures.

Ah.

Some would say that

the religious heroes

are the most fictitious.

"Some would say"?

No one talks that way.

All right.

I got your message

when I called in.

I know you're

having a lousy day.

But I got a case of

beer and some noodles,

so let's just get

fucked up and whine.

Can I help?

Oh, you're still here?

Well, yeah.

Have a beer.

No, no.

You sit down.

I shall pour for all.

OK.

Thank you.

Do you love him?

Why would he lie?

I mean, he's so polite.

I know.

It's kinda creepy, isn't it?

I mean, he's kinda cute.

Cute?

He's flat out strange.

Like Jon Voight in

"Midnight Cowboy"?

Oh, come on.

I swear to god.

Like that scene where he's

trying to hustle that woman

with the money, like there.

Well, OK.

But I was thinking more like,

like Martin Short, you know?

He's got this Ed Grimley.

Shut up.

No, he does.

And then Crispin Glover.

Oh, god.

All right, maybe Crispin

Glover in like, "River's Edge,"

but no way him in like,

"Back to the Future."

Look, man.

He wears a tie.

I know.

But he's an artist.

Oh, that's important.

[laughter]

What are you guys

laughing about?

Oh, um, nothing.

You know.

Mating habits and such.

What are yours?

What do you mean?

Well, tell us, Walter.

Are you a screamer?

A what?

David.

No, what?

You don't have

to embarrass him.

He's obviously

interested in one of us.

I mean, granted,

it's probably you.

But this way, we can

get it out in the open.

So tell us, Walt,

how loud do you plow?

David!

No, no.

It's quite all right.

The boy's obviously in

need of some amusement.

Now I want to make it

clear that I am not limited

to what I'm about to show you.

Please stand up.

And I will demonstrate one

of my favorite techniques.

OK.

Hello there.

I like to enter from behind.

And cross my arms like this so

that I may tease each nipple

and hold the chest

while I softly

whisper into my partner's

ear how much she means to me.

Don't call me Walt.

I don't do animation

nor do I believe in cryogenics.

My name is Walter, and

I only do live action.

And one more thing.

"The Lone Ranger"

was fictitious.

Oh, you're a hot one.

You better snap him up,

Gwendolyn, or I'm gonna

start a conversion campaign.

Nighty night, boys and girls.

So.

You wanna try it?

Mm-hmm.

Now.

[laughing]

[moaning]

[phone ringing]

Hello.

David.

How you doing this morning?

Boy, you artist types

really sleep late.

DAVID (ON PHONE):

What time is it?

It's 8:30.

DAVID (ON PHONE): That's late?

I get up at 6:30

for the drive in.

I knew there was a reason

I lived in the city.

What's up, Beau?

PBS wants to reschedule,

today, 1 o'clock.

DAVID (ON PHONE): OK.

Good.

Oh, fuck.

Scott?

It's David.

Is he there?

Is he mad?

OK, I'll hold.

Well, you're a

lucky boy, David.

Look, I don't want to know

why you didn't show up.

Just know they didn't

show up either.

Look, we're gonna reschedule.

Monday at 10:00 AM.

Be rested.

Oh my god.

All this real food.

I don't know if my stomach's

gonna be able to handle this.

You really shouldn't drink

on the job, you know.

Oh, does this qualify as a job?

I hadn't noticed.

Life sorta sucks

all around, don't it?

We do OK.

Yeah, I guess.

We do.

What's the matter?

I don't know.

I'm in some horrible rut.

I lost my job at the library.

Already?

Fuck.

How?

Well, my agent scheduled

a meeting with PBS.

Well, that's great.

Yeah, it would be

if they'd showed.

They didn't show?

No.

They rescheduled twice.

And I don't even

know what they want.

I mean, Beau can't be

specific about the project,

just that it's some documentary.

So I don't even know

if I'm suited for it.

Well, of course

you're suited for it.

I mean, he picked you.

It means he must believe in you.

Yeah, I'd like to think so.

But I don't know.

I mean, it doesn't

seem that he's

really interested in my work,

just in-- well, he's gay,

you know.

He's gay?

Really?

That man is gay?

Yes.

He's so bland and sweaty.

You know him?

BOTH: Christmas party.

Right.

So you think--

I don't know.

I would like to

think that he signed

me because he looked at my tape

and he thought it was good.

I mean, I know that

he looked at my tape

'cause he thought I was cute.

And I don't really want to think

about any other possibilities.

Yeah.

I can understand that.

It's just I don't

know what to do.

I walk around, you

know, and I think

about "Hamlet." "To

be or not to be,"

the big speech,

the big question.

See, only that is not

the fucking question,

because you gotta be.

Right?

'Cause if not, then you're like

suicidal, and that's crazy.

So you gotta be.

So then you're left

with what to do.

Because you can't just be,

you gotta be doing something.

So that should be the

fucking question--

what to do or not to do?

Man, you are upset.

Oh, you noticed.

Why did you come here?

To have dinner with you.

No, to New York.

To make films.

Then do it.

It's not as simple as that, OK?

I kinda think it is.

Easy for you to say.

You just recently got some.

A good fuck always

makes you cavalier.

This is not about my sex

life, and you know that.

I know.

I'm changing the subject.

He was awesome.

And you know you could

get it anytime you want.

I know.

How awesome?

Thor.

The thunder god?

Yep.

I mean, all I know, the room

started shaking like crazy,

and there was all this noise.

Wow.

I know.

You're telling me.

So, uh, he may be around

for a couple of days.

Cool.

So, um, can he

help with the rent?

[applause]

So, walking down the

street-- true story.

You know me, always true.

59th Street,

Columbus Circle area.

See these two kids,

innocent-looking kids,

nice-looking kids.

Strolling, talking, sharing gum.

Except wrapped around

each of their necks,

humongous, snapping

boa constrictors.

I'm not kidding you.

Snapping boa constrictors.

No one is looking.

No one seems concerned.

OK.

So I continue along my day.

You know, 46th Street.

It I want to go check

out a little bistro

on Restaurant Row.

See a man, well-dressed

man, outside the bistro,

on the sidewalk, doing push-ups,

outside on the sidewalk.

46, 47, 48.

No one is looking.

No one seems concerned.

OK.

I go home.

I think it's time to go.

Listen to my voicemail.

Message from my mother.

Quote.

"Julie Lynn, I was

wondering, is Lypsinka

going to be a quick dock?"

Ah, it's time to take stock, OK?

Public calisthenics,

boa constrictors,

and mainstream Lypsinka.

This is an emergency,

people, all right?

The millennium approaches,

and I am not ready.

All right?

Oh.

Oh my god.

You.

I-- wait a minute.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry.

I'm very famous here

all of a sudden.

I can't believe it.

All right.

Ladies and gentlemen,

excuse me for one minute.

You.

I know you.

I know you, don't I?

Don't I?

Tell these people

how you know me.

I don't know you.

You do.

Don't lie.

Yesterday.

What?

We-- we had an exchange.

We had an exchange.

What?

Exchange of what?

Venereal diseases?

Wedding rings?

Stocks?

What?

I don't know.

You do know.

You were there.

Like, uh-- looks, I guess.

Like a friendly

exchange of looks.

That's all.

And then what happened?

We had this exchange.

We had an exchange.

And then you came to

see me perform, right?

In this show.

I mean, why did you

come to this show?

Why?

It's because I'm fabulous.

Is that it?

I'm fabulous, right?

Is that-- I mean,

can you just say it?

I don't know.

Look, I've never seen

you perform before.

How am I supposed to

know if you're fabulous?

I mean, why are you doing this?

Aren't you supposed

to be doing your show?

I am doing the show, darling.

I am doing the show.

Am I not doing the show?

[applause]

Darling.

Oh my god.

Oh, I tell you.

Darling, after that

arctic chill, you know,

I think we need some

warmth and comfort.

Excuse me.

Um, look.

Mrs. Halston wants to meet you.

Would you come backstage?

[knock on door]

Come in.

Hey, sourpuss.

Boy, you know, I don't usually

misjudge people like that,

but you did not

make it easy for me.

Boy, you was a straight man.

I mean, I really had to

work for those laughs.

Sorry.

No, wait a second.

I'm not sorry.

Look, I don't know

why you picked on me,

but I thought I was

gonna come back here

and you were gonna

apologize to me.

But instead, you have

me apologizing to you.

First of all, I

did not pick on you.

So just hold that a minute.

I mean, that portion

of my show is expected.

You know, I chat with a member

of the audience every night.

I mean, usually, it's

to insult their attire.

But you know, I saw

you, and I thought

I'd try something different.

Boy, I almost bombed because

of your stodginess, young man.

So don't expect an

apology from me.

But I will buy you a cappuccino.

It really is a beautiful

night, isn't it?

And do you believe this?

Cappuccino in a can?

I mean, who'da thought it?

You know, it's

$1.50, and no tip,

and no attitude from those

like, little French gay waiters.

You know, it's the best.

Hey, I'm gay.

I didn't mean

that in a bad way.

I mean, it's not like the

gay thing that's a problem,

anymore than it is

the French thing.

It's just that attitude,

you know what I mean?

You know, you really

are a sourpuss.

No, I'm not.

You are.

No, really, I'm not.

I just-- I'm just having a

little problem with direction.

Well, what?

You don't know what

to do with your life?

No.

I mean, sort of.

I mean, I know what to do

with my life generally.

It's just the next specific

step that's a little hazy.

Well, what's the

generally part?

Films.

Jesus, no wonder

you're so sour.

What?

What's that supposed to mean?

So you want to

make a dream, huh?

Well, sort of.

I mean, I already

have the dream.

No, no, no.

You dreamt the dream.

You dreamt the dream, and

now you want to make it.

But you know, there's

this huge cavern

between fantasy and reality.

And you know, there

really is only one path,

and it's usually hard to find.

With some people,

it's discipline.

And other's, it's backbone.

But with you, I think

it's something different.

I mean, my guess would be

that your bridge is money.

Well, I guess.

But I mean, that analogy is not

exactly how I would describe--

Wait, wait.

Jesus, lighten up.

I mean, exactly is so boring.

I mean, how much do you need?

What do you want to do?

Well, um.

I want to travel

all over the country

and ask hundreds of

people the same question,

and then edit their response

into one two-hour answer.

So what's the question?

What do you hold to

be an absolute truth?

Pompous and young,

but it has potential.

You just say whatever

you feel like, don't you?

Well, I-- well, yeah.

All right, so what do you

hold to be an absolute truth?

Well, the difference

between comedy and tragedy

is perspective.

And cable TV and Valium

are made of the same stuff.

Too true, too true.

So how much money do you need?

What?

To do it the right way?

Oh.

Oh, forget the right way.

Honey, if you are

gonna be an artist,

you know, we have

to change the way

you think because the

right way-- the right way?

Forget the right way, you know?

I mean, you wait for the right

way, you'll never get it done.

Forget those big budgets, and

agents, and all that stuff.

How much money do you

need to do it your way?

Fuck.

Oh, god.

Hey, Gwenny.

There's someone here

I'd like you to meet.

Not now, David.

I'm busy.

If this is a bad time--

Oh my god.

It's Julie Halston!

God!

I am such a big fan.

I saw your last show.

I haven't seen this

one, but intend to.

Gwen, you're gushing.

I am not.

I don't gush.

I have evidence on film

if you'd like to see.

Don't be a dick.

Oh my god!

What are you doing here?

Well, I came by to see

some of David's work.

We had a nice chat

after the show,

and I thought I'd come by

and see if he has any talent.

Oh, talent, he has.

Income, another thing.

Well, Julie said that she

might be able to help me find

some investors for my work.

-No, wait a minute.

Slow down now.

I said that I would look at the

stuff, and if it was any good,

then I would show it to people.

Let's leave it at that.

[groan]

It changed me.

That boy lying by the

side of the road that way.

Blood was coming

out of his mouth.

I knew he was dead.

I was just about 35 then.

The boys-- your

dad-- was in school.

And there's this

poor colored boy

lying in the street in front

of my house one morning

when I went out to get the mail.

And he's just staring

up at the sky.

He was dead.

But his eyes, they

were still looking.

They was looking.

He ain't seeing nothing.

I imagine then, they was

looking for a reason.

And that's when I

knew we was the same,

and that my boys was wrong.

They's all running

around in them sheets,

trying to stop the integration.

'Cause they managed to think

somehow they was different.

But that dead boy in the street,

he knew, and he showed me.

They wasn't different at all.

You and your sex, well, I guess

it's the same thing, ain't it?

I'm not about to

stand around, let

those boys do to you what

they did that colored boy.

Because your eyes see things.

And they see pretty.

Everything.

Your eyes make

everything pretty.

I bet when I see this, they'll

have made that colored boy

pretty too, won't they?

DAVID: I don't know, Grandma.

Should he be pretty?

I hope he can be.

I just don't know how.

Why haven't I seen this before?

I don't know.

Um, I guess it

just never came up.

She was right, you know.

DAVID: About what?

You made him beautiful.

Thanks.

So you have this meeting

with PBS tomorrow?

Yeah, but I still don't

know what it's about?

It's nothing.

It's about nothing.

I mean, you'll meet

these two producer guys.

And they'll shake your hand, and

look at your tapes, and smile,

really big smile, you know.

And they'll blow a lot

of smoke up your ass.

And then you'll smile back.

And it'll all be over.

I mean, if they're

really feeling like,

reckless, you know,

they'll offer you a job.

But more than likely, it's

just to let them know that you

exist-- that they

should watch you

and see if you do something

with this ability you

supposedly have.

And then next year, after

you've done something else,

they'll come up to you, and

they'll say, hey, remember us?

And you'll say sure.

And then they'll

offer you a job.

But what if I haven't

done something?

Oh, you will.

I mean, you're not gonna go

to that meeting tomorrow.

If I don't go,

Beau will drop me.

-No, he won't.

-Yes, he will.

He told me so.

No, because you're going to

be doing the film with me.

He'll reschedule the meeting.

You'd be a subject for me?

Mm-mm.

I'm just gonna be there.

I mean, you'll get your

subjects the way you always do.

Well, what if Beau

doesn't go for this?

He will.

My agent is his boss.

[music man ray, "sugar, sugar"]

Thanks, mate.

[music man ray, "sugar, sugar"]

Hey, that's where

Yoko Ono lives.

Yeah, I know.

You know, we oughta

add him to the list.

Who?

Lennon?

Yeah.

We do heroes, not martyrs.

Come on.

He helped a lot of people

stand for a lot of things.

Yeah, and he made a lot

of money in the process.

It was easy for him.

I mean, nobody was there

to stand in his way,

and nobody was there

to bring him down.

Besides, sometimes, I

think the list is stupid.

All right, what happened?

I was on my way to meet you

here, and I got off the bus.

And I was walking up town.

And I saw this guy, like, six

or seven paces ahead of me.

And he had this great energy,

and very muscular back,

and a really

attractive left ear.

And I tried to

catch up with him,

but I couldn't

seem to catch him.

So I started to pray for a light

that would stop him so I could

catch up with him

and, you know, start

up a conversation or something.

But a light never comes.

And then I'm still after him.

And then someone shoves

a pamphlet in my hand.

And I try not to look at

it 'cause I know if I do,

he'll disappear.

But after a minute or two, I

can't resist, and I look down.

And I see that I'm

being invited to church

services on 63rd Street.

So like a good atheist, I wad it

up and I throw it in the trash.

And when I look up, he's gone.

I'm sorry.

See, the thing is,

it is so easy for me

to give up on the idea of God.

But at the same

time, I remain firmly

convinced this man

that I didn't even know

was the perfect man for me.

So who are you

looking for, David?

Gilgamesh.

[music tom mccormack, "missing"]

You OK?

Yeah.

I will be.

Where's Walter?

Oh, he, uh, one of his

paintings got into a gallery.

He went down to hang it.

What's the matter, honey?

I got my divorce.

All I have to do is sign it.

That's great.

When did it happen?

Papers came today with a

big, fat check from Brian.

So now it's officially

alimony, right?

That's so cool.

We should have a party.

No, I don't think we should.

I'm sorry.

I thought--

You don't know what you're

talking about, David.

What?

Gwen, the man is an asshole.

He fucked you over,

and you left him.

This is a good thing, honey.

No.

I loved him, and he hurt me.

And I gave up on him.

And he has generously

supported me for two years.

And he did not

fight my attorney's

request for an

outrageous alimony

because he's a good man.

And I loved him.

And this hurts.

I'm sorry.

I-- I didn't--

No.

You never do.

Fuck.

[MUSIC ITCHY TRIGGER FINGER,

"BURST"]

It's $10.

Please read the sign, man.

Do I frighten you?

Um, no.

It's not you.

There's something

about you I like.

It's the quick exit.

Low blow, Mr. Glasshouses.

I'm sorry.

I'm nervous.

Quick like homosexuals

and dogs, you know?

To hear my mother

tell it, anyway.

Look, can I buy you a

cappuccino or something?

You know, that's what

I love about this town.

Keep a roof over your

head long enough,

and someone's there to

buy you a cappuccino.

I don't know.

I go through phases, I guess.

Sort of celibacy to

slut and back again.

Between AIDS and

infidelity, there's

a lot of hopeful relationships.

And sometimes, I just

find masturbation to be

a little too redundant.

So a carefully placed

anonymous mouth, that's all it

is, really.

Michael, that is so gross.

What is so gross?

That flippancy,

that objectification

of the other person like he's

there to perform a service.

He is, David.

He is.

He's why I came in

there tonight, that boy.

He wasn't there to be loved.

He was there to get fucked.

I fucked him for his body.

I ignored him as a person.

He loved every minute of it.

You fucked him?

Not literally, David.

Fuck, got off with,

interchangeable.

And you enjoy that?

Don't be so provincial.

Why is that funny?

-I don't know.

I was just teasing my

roommate's boyfriend

about being too provincial.

Jesus, I'd love to meet him.

He's a great guy, really.

Yeah, I bet.

Did you vote for Reagan too?

No.

I wasn't old enough.

Then what happened?

He died.

He was very sick

for a long time.

And I see all these people,

you know, like Larry Kramer.

And they are yelling,

and screaming,

and trying to blame the world

around them for the fact

that they were robbed of love.

And I wonder how they could be

so sure that the one that died

is the one that

would've stuck around.

I've been with three men

for more than two years,

and they are like,

all really great guys.

But men just like,

move on, you know?

They just do.

But you want more, right?

I mean, you want to believe that

someone will be there for life,

that you have a perfect

match, and you'll be together

for the rest of your life.

I think it's that fantasy

that makes everything go wrong.

There is no perfect match.

There are people who

complement each other.

And these people that are

well-balanced get together,

and they think they're

supposed to be perfect.

Then they go on thinking

that they are perfect.

And then something happens.

And years ago, you know, people

used to find ways around it.

Now they just like, move on.

They go looking elsewhere.

Why do you think that is?

Because we have

this instant life.

We don't like our environment,

we get a button, we push it.

Our environment

changes instantaneously

with no repercussions.

What are you talking about?

Cable TV.

[waves crashing]

Sorry, I'm like,

the only white boy

who doesn't own a CD player.

Yeah, I think you are.

The apartment makes up for it.

Yeah.

It's a real estate wet dream.

Sorry.

We'll-- we'll have to

do better than this.

I get seasick.

There you go.

[MUSIC NINA SIMONE, "A SINGLE

WOMAN"]

I'm impressed.

Not many boys your age

appreciate Nina Simone.

Not many boys your age

appreciate Nina Simone.

You sure about this?

Yeah.

Here, put this on.

Um.

I meant on you.

Oh.

OK.

[coughing]

[phone ringing]

Hello?

David, I just left my

office with two very pissed

off PBS execs.

Now where the fuck are you?

And this better be good.

Don't worry.

It is.

Wait.

What does that mean?

David?

David!

Dav-- oh for!

Jesus.

Hey, Julie.

Where are you?

I'm waiting on your call.

I'm at home.

Not going anywhere.

OK.

Thanks.

I gotta go soon.

I know.

So what?

She didn't call at all?

Not a peep.

Oh, man.

And I ditched the meeting

at her suggestion too.

That totally sucks.

And I thought she

was gonna be so cool.

She turns out to

be full of shit.

I guess.

So, um.

You haven't mentioned it.

I am only chomping at the bit,

waiting for you to tell me.

Michael.

So?

Where'd you meet him, mister?

When I went to bed,

you were sleeping.

You went out

prowling, didn't you?

I couldn't sleep.

And?

I think, um-- I love him.

David, you just met him.

-I know, I know, I know.

-Oh my god.

It's pathetic.

I know.

Well, so is it mutual, or what?

Well, when I saw him,

he was with another guy.

But I left, and he-- he

like bolted out to catch me.

What do you mean he

was with another guy?

Well, there aren't

that many places

to go at 3:00 AM, Winnie.

Oh, Jesus.

David, I hope you were careful.

Urgently careful.

Oh, what does that mean?

Urgently careful?

The whole safety thing.

I mean, it was amazing.

He could make it such

a part of the act

that it became just as

urgent as the sex itself.

Wow.

You're telling me.

So?

Is he Gilgamesh?

No.

Then who?

His name is Michael.

Gwen.

He gave me the cable test.

Hey, you know, you really should

get some better security around

here.

I mean, anybody could just

walk right in and kill you

if they didn't like your show.

Oh, are you just anybody?

I mean, you did

single-handedly destroy

the day of one of

the more powerful

agents in New York City.

What?

Wait.

You told me not to

go to the meeting.

I told you to call up, and

cancel, and then reschedule.

And not to stand him up and

then hang up on him, David.

I mean, Jesus, what

were you thinking?

It wasn't intentional.

You know, I think

I did misjudge you.

I think you'd better go.

I have another show.

Would you sign those already?

Would you mind

your own business?

Gwen, it's over.

What's the problem?

You are such a dick.

I thought he was the dick.

No, you assumed

that he was the dick.

You never thought that I

might've been the dick.

What?

You never once

thought that I might've

been the one who fucked up.

Gwen.

God, David, you have

so much to learn.

Gwen.

Talk to me.

What happened?

You only get to know

people so well, David.

[music playing]

David.

He was here again

last night, wasn't he?

I wish.

Someone else?

You slut.

No.

I smoked them.

I was out late working,

and he had left them here.

And I figured I'd give it a try.

And?

And I have a pounding headache,

and you're making it worse.

Oh, I'm so sorry, but it

is your fault. At least

he called you though, didn't he?

No.

I'm sorry.

Don't worry about it.

He will.

Oh, and David.

I hate to mention it,

but the rent is due.

And don't smoke.

It's bad for you.

[music - julee cruz, "crazy"]

I'm sorry about before.

I was looking for someone.

Yeah, aren't we all?

Jesus.

David.

What are you doing here?

Hey, David.

Jesus!

What's the matter with you?

Men suck.

I thought that's what

you liked about them.

Oh, don't be a dick.

I wasn't.

No, it's just his

attempt at being crude.

What happened?

I went looking for Michael.

And?

I found him.

[knock on door]

MICHAEL: David!

Open up.

I want to talk to you.

Who are you?

Is this Michael?

DAVID: Yes.

Marry him.

I'm supposed to marry

my hero, not yours.

What did you do to him?

Explain yourself.

If I could find out,

I'd-- wait a minute.

You slugged me on his behalf,

you don't even know why?

What can I say?

I like the boy.

You must be the provincial one.

I knew I wasn't gonna

enjoy meeting you.

Oh, well, I'm more patrician

than provincial, really.

And fuck you too.

No, no.

It was an instinct,

not a judgment.

Where is he?

Oh, he bolted

about the time you

showed signs of coming around.

Fuck.

You like the boy then?

Yeah, isn't that obvious?

He really likes you.

Are you sure?

Very.

They why did he run away?

And why did he hit me?

Oh, that was me.

I'm sorry.

A rather Jacobian impulse.

No.

No, no, no.

Before, on the

street, he hit me too.

What do you mean?

You got hit twice, and

you still want to see him?

I know.

It's like a really bad Rock

Hudson, Doris Day movie, huh?

Except I'm starting to

feel like Tony Randall.

Oh.

Tony Randall.

Shudder.

Jeez, pal.

If I'd known he'd decked you,

I never would've felt the need.

I never thought the

guy had it in him.

I mean, to be walloped twice

in the same day, it's too much.

I'm so sorry.

Jesus, you are polite.

Why do you take the train?

'Cause it lets me out

underneath my house.

It's late.

I know.

I had some drinks with

friends after the show.

And you?

Running away.

You're running uptown?

That's a bad choice.

So boring.

I mean, at least Chelsea.

Oh, I forgot.

I'm not talking to you.

Exactly why is that?

Uh, you made me look bad.

I didn't even

mention your name.

No, I know.

I mentioned yours.

Oh.

Mm-hmm.

I should just move back home.

Where?

Illinois.

Where?

Joliet.

My mother now

lives in Naperville.

I guess we're

bound by geography.

ANNOUNCER: Attention,

passengers.

Uptown service at

this station has

been temporarily discontinued.

We apologize for

the inconvenience.

Well, it looks like

we're gonna find

another mode of transportation.

We?

Yeah.

We.

You and me.

So this guy was headed

back into the sex club,

and you just slugged him?

Well, kind of.

Should I be on guard?

I mean, this guy and I committed

the same sin, you know.

Neither of us called you.

Are you gonna deck me?

It's different.

Oh, you don't know that.

Sit down.

Do you want a drink?

Sure.

Juice, soda, water?

Do you have coffee?

No.

No, I don't.

We could go out for some.

No, soda's fine.

Uh, well, diet,

regular, Sprite?

Diet.

OK.

Caffeine or no caffeine?

Caffeine, please.

OK.

Ice or no ice?

Is it cold?

Yeah.

No ice.

No.

Ice.

Well, which?

Ice.

Oh, OK.

Listen, David, I-- I know

you don't want to hear this,

and I know it's a push

day, but you know,

you really gotta give

yourself time to grow up.

You've gotta like, think

things through before you act.

But he was headed

back into the sex club.

Which was his haunt, which you

knew, which was his behavior.

You know, love doesn't

change people, honey.

Only time does.

I mean, what you have, the

potential for love, it's scary,

you know?

I mean, it brings forth

all these possibilities

and oh, you get so hopeful.

But if you want love to last,

you've gotta see the now,

and accept him for who he is,

and support his evolution.

I mean, you can't expect

him to be his best

just because you want it.

That'll make him hate you.

That's pretty wise

for a spinster.

You really are a prick.

What?

Well, one last

lesson, little boy.

And if you don't get this

one, you're on your own.

Come on.

-Hi.

How are you?

Fine.

So how is he doing?

He had a good day.

Good, good.

I think I can take over now.

-Oh, OK.

-All right.

How are you doing?

-Fine.

-Good, Brenda.

-How about you?

I'm fine.

Good.

-All right.

-OK.

Well, safe home.

You too.

We'll see you tomorrow.

OK.

David.

Sit down.

Yeah.

You know who I am today?

That's good.

I'm sorry I'm late.

I ran into a friend.

This is David, the young

filmmaker I told you about.

David, this is my lover, Danny.

Hello.

Hi.

OK.

Relax.

Relax, sweetie.

Relax.

Shh.

Relax.

Yeah.

We're just gonna be

outside in the other room.

We're gonna talk.

OK?

OK.

You rest.

I had no idea.

No.

And you couldn't have.

But you assumed

because you're young.

And you can't feel

badly about that.

What's, um-- the problem?

One guess.

I never saw anyone before.

How?

Don't be stupid.

It happens.

I mean, in this

day and age, people

get sick for being human.

He did a lot of drugs and

slept with a lot of women.

We were never monogamous

and never married.

Why not?

At some point,

you learn that life

makes rules uniquely for you.

And it's your job to

figure out what they are

and how to live by them.

And it wasn't in our rule book.

You still could.

Well, not until he can stand

and walk down the aisle.

I'm truly sorry.

For everything.

I know.

Should I go now?

Yes.

You should.

[MUSIC THUNDER'S MONKEY, "DAVID

SEARCHING"]

Hey, Gwen.

Where have you been?

I made up with Julie.

At 5:00 in the morning?

It's a long story, I'm sorry.

Where is he?

Who?

Your knight in shining armor

with the two black eyes?

Yes, yes.

Where is he?

Um, him and Walter went down

to the diner for breakfast.

Which one?

I don't know.

They're guys.

For all I know, they

went to the sports bar.

Da--

Michael!

Do you want to go out with me?

I said, do you want

to go out with me?

I heard you.

DAVID: Well?

Why did you hit me?

It's not important anymore.

Maybe not for you.

Hi.

Hey.

Why did you hit me?

Well, I don't know.

I mean, I saw you going

back to that place.

And you hadn't called.

And I got so mad.

Oh, David.

The B2?

I wasn't going back there.

I live across the street.

I was coming home from dinner.

Oh, wow.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You are crazy.

That too.

So, do you want

to go out with me?

You are crazy?

Will I need padded protection?

Just latex.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Was I making assumptions again?

Yes.

It's OK though.

You're young.

I wish people would

stop saying that.

Well, we will.

In a couple of years.

Where are the boys?

Oh, David's asleep,

and Mike went home.

I believe his

preference is Michael.

You really are a

geek, aren't you?

Well.

Yeah.

Oh my god.

Why is that so funny, my lady?

Oh, wait.

"My" lady?

No, it's not "my" lady.

It's an expression, you know.

Like milady?

Milady?

Are you making fun of me, Gwen?

If you're making fun of me,

I'd like for you to stop now.

OK, I'm very so--

OK, I'm gonna stop.

I'm gonna--

I have something

important to say,

and I'd like for you

to be calm for it.

OK.

I am very calm.

OK.

I can't--

It's OK.

I'll wait.

Oh, no.

Please, speak.

Pray tell.

OK.

I'll behave now.

I've been to see a realtor.

You're moving out.

Well, now I know.

Well, talk.

I want you.

I-- I mean, um, I

want to be with you.

Oh my god.

What?

You thought this was real?

What do you mean?

Oh my god.

I mean this.

You thought this was real?

I don't understand you, Gwen.

I can't marry you, Walter.

I know that.

I mean, I can't-- I

can't even be with you.

Why?

Oh, god.

Walter, you are great.

I mean, sex with you is like

nothing in the entire world.

But that's what it

is-- sex with you.

And it's like this

great drunk, you know?

And it takes me away from all

my problems, from my life.

And then when I sober

up, they're-- they're all

still there.

And I have to deal

with all of those.

So I, uh-- I suppose I'll

be getting my own place.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

What are you doing?

Well, just because it's

not going any place doesn't

mean it has to stop, does it?

Yeah, I'm kind

of afraid it does.

Whoa.

Whoa, slow down.

You dumped him?

Well, yeah.

You just like, walked

away from all that scream

sex, just like that?

He just wanted

too much from me.

And I liked him too

much to lead him on.

Anyway.

I don't want to be

tied up right now.

He tied you up?

Oh, David, you

know what I mean.

Look.

I don't want to talk

about me right now, OK?

What are you doing tonight?

Are you gonna see Michael?

Mm-mm.

Why not?

He's busy.

So what are you gonna do?

What I've been doing all day.

What?

Asking questions.

Gwen.

What do you hold to

be an absolute truth?

A what?

DAVID: Michael.

Hm?

DAVID: What do you think

to be an absolute truth?

What?

Oh, boy.

Seriously?

I have no idea.

What are you talking about?

That we're

destroying the ozone.

Excuse me.

You're joking?

Um, um--

I'm completely lost.

Sounds corney if

you say it out loud.

I will someday die,

hopefully when I'm very old.

Well, um, that's

sort of pejorative.

It's all really

language, isn't it?

I really do think that

there's good in everybody.

Confusion.

And joy.

What's an absolute truth?

I don't know.

I don't know if there

is an absolute truth.

Is there?

An absolute truth?

There is no such thing.

Nothing is what

you think it is.

Sleep.

Death.

Taxes.

Laughter.

Tears.

And orgasm.

I mean, the releases

of the human spirit.

That my mommy loves me.

There's nothing that's

an absolute truth.

Hitler was a bad person.

He killed many people.

That's the absolute truth.

Men suck.

One is the loneliest

number that you'll ever see.

I don't think there is such

a thing as an absolute truth.

You don't really

need the absolute.

I mean, truth is truth.

You can't know what

truth is unless you

get the right amount of sleep.

Dickey is much better

nickname than Dick.

Hootie and the Blowfish

signals the death of music.

That I'm always gonna be out of

work at some point in my life.

Nothing is black and

white, cut and dry.

Well, actually, maybe this

movie that you're doing

is black and white,

but nothing else.

It's not really black or white.

I mean, it is black and white.

There's no gray area.

One must eat to live.

Because every time I think

something is absolutely true,

I am proven wrong

the next minute.

So I guess the

absolute truth is chaos.

God.

That's it.

God.

That's absolute, as

absolute as you can get.

I think it is absolutely

true that human beings are

destroying the world

through violence,

and greed, and carelessness.

And we must stop.

Sleep is the truth.

Good night.

And now I'm embarrassed.

[MUSIC THUNDER'S MONKEY, "DAVID

SEARCHING"]

David Searching (1997) - full transcript