Dance Machine (2006) - full transcript

After accidentally killing the albino boa of his boss, and in search of money to buy a new one, Dani and his colleagues sign up for the first national competition of Dance Dance Revolution.

And after this, this we will
see how a human being is able...

to drink 38 litres
of brake fluid!

Applause please!

Now for the news. This past Saturday
in Korea, a member of our community...

... has been the winner of the Dance Machine
World Championship for the 3rd time!

With us... the great,
the epic one, the invincible...

Takahashi Yaaasuuu!

Over here, please!

To begin with,
we'd like a demonstration.

My manager hasn't told
me anything about this.

I'm afraid that if you refuse to do
it, we won't leave here alive.

I don't give a shit!

We're begging you!

Let's go!

It's been awesome.

You've just won
for the 3rd time.

Ah sorry, for the 4th time.
What do you think of it?

I'm having my worst
depression in my whole life.

Oh, Why?

Because there isn't anyone
in the world who can beat me.

I'm very curious,
how do you play it?

To get points you have to step
on those arrows as they light up.

the machine starts adding them.

Oh really? That sounds like fun!

Does it have any
Julio Iglesias songs?

It drives me crazy, especially if
the kids are wearing tight clothes.

Look at how they sweat.

I like to see how their
t-shirts stick to their bodies.

How you can see their
little muscles...

OK let's go, come on, move it!

Is there a problem?

I'm missing one.

What the fuck is the matter with you? Don't
you see there are a lot of people in line?

This gentleman is
missing an egg.

Can you hear me? The guy in lane 5 is missing
an egg. I repeat, this guy is missing an egg.

What are you looking at?
Come on, move it along.

They'll bring it for you.

Hey Dani, come here. You think
you can stop by my house tonight?

To your house? What for?

Give it a blow, dammit.

I'll pass Ritchy.
I'm in a hurry.

Fine kid. Then I'll get
straight to the point.

Now I'm gonna show you
something really beautiful.

Have you ever seen such a
beautiful creature as this?

I named it "Terminator."

Well it sure is something, yeah.

But Ritchie,
I really have to go.

Come here and caress
it, it likes it.

Take it eh?, it doesn't bite.

Dude! ..the hell are you doing?

Look Dani, you're holding in your hands the
thing I love the most in this fucking world.

Don't worry, I'm not a faggot.
I was in the army but I'm not a fag.

This was to show you just how
important this animal is to me.

It's an albino boa
from the Amazon.

A quirk of nature,
a unique specimen.

I've taken care if it since it was
this big like it was my own son.

I've even ceased to eat just to make
sure it has everything it needs.

C'mon Ritchie,
it's just that I...

Look Dani, I have to go to Munich and take a
course on the management of electric batons.

...and i want you to take
care of "Terminator."

Hey, don't you have a family?

Look, you live right next door, all you
have to do is check the temperature.

Give it a hamster from the pet shop everyday
and read it some pages from Nietzsche.

That makes it relax, you know?

Oh, and make sure it doesn't
come out of its cage.

It has the habit of putting
everything it finds in its mouth.

It's like a little kid.

Hey, what's up dude?

It's the shit dude, awesome.

Huh? What is?

Dude, here's my solution.

It's a perfume with pheromones. I bought it through
mail. They adverstise it as "The smell of sex."

I dunno, the pheromones have
something that makes girls go crazy.

Have you tested it yet?

No but...

Look, will you go try it out with those
two? They look like they're really needy.

Come on bud,
this may be the big day!

Yeah dude,
the moment of truth has come.

Let's go bud, Good luck!

Look look look...

Get out of here.

Now go park my bike for me.

What's going on?

Game over.

What the dick?! It's stuck.

Hey! This piece of
junk ate our euro.

Here's a coin, but please don't hit the
machine, it's very delicate machine.

Please, I'm asking nice.

This... can shove this up your ass.
I want MY euro.

I don't have the keys with me.

You don't? Then who does?

The manager.

Well tell him to come the fuck out.
I want my euro!

He doesn't like to be
bothered with these things.

Sorry, but it looks like you
don't know who you're talking to.

I don't think he
cares about that.

Look look, tell him to come out and
while you're at it, give us some change.

Is there a problem here?

We want change.

There's no change.

Oh really? Then what about that?

Let me rephrase.
There's no change for you guys.

You'll give us our
change right now.

I'm not gonna say this twice,
there's change for whoever I want.

Come on let's go, he's crazy.

Let's go.

Hey boys, there's a free game,
I don't want it to go to waste.

Thanks Jonny.

Way to go Jonny.
You really scared them off.

Was that a Kung-fu attack?

The martial arts are
no secret to me, boys.

I got my kung-fu black belt from
non-other than Bruce Lee's master.

He used to tell me that...
Hey, it sure stinks huh?

It's this kid.

Hey, have you been to China?

Ha, "Have I been to China?" when I was
in the Navy we landed in Hong Kong.

I managed to get away through the mountains with a few American ninjas who
were trying to perfect their skills with some of the masters over there.

We spent one whole year living in a
monastry, feeding on roaches only.

Except on Christmas Eve when we found a
religious mantis, we only drank our own urine.

Ew, your own?

Not always.
Although that's another story.

Way to go Jonny.

So buddies,
what should we do now?

C'mon Dani, let me bring the girls
over to Ritchie's for a few hours.

We wont even touch anything,
we'll only use the sofa.

The bed remains un-touched.

Bed? Do we have plans or what?

Well, I know these girls who are looking for some action, they're
just missing a little love nest and our friend right here has one.

Come on man, let me go with you.
Are they hot? Can we go now?

It's not decided, the sucker here
is still thinking about it you know.

Come on dude!
Please, do it for me.

Hey kid!

What's wrong?
You're a virgin or what?

Yeah, from this left arm.

Holy shit! Who took it out?

What? The snake?

I... just opened it a bit so it could get
some air, the poor thing was frying in there.


We have to find it! Come on!
Move it! You have to help me.

Here pretty, here pretty!

What does it look like?

Huge. Where is it?!


Hey guys come here,
it's over here on the balcony.

Holy shit!

I think it swallowed something.

But what did it eat?

I think it's a gas tank.

It's not breathing guys,
let's get it inside.


Oh no!

Same thing happened to my dog.

An albino boa?
That's impossible.

It's a very rare
specimen, it's priceless.

It's a matter of life or death.

How much?

I don't know, in such a short period of time, I don't
know. Maybe I can camouflage one in a soap truck.

But transportation is not the problem,
you have to bribe a lot of people.

How much?

I don't know,
I guess I could manage to get it for...

Three euros, three fucking euros.
What a scam.

Ten thousand euros man.

Even if I spent twenty years greasing bearings,
we wouldn't even have enough to begin with.

Me neither. Shit.

Hey, why don't we
look for an extra job?

Like what?

I don't know, sperm donors.
Do you know how much they pay per liter?

Hey guys, did you see this?

"First National Tournament
of Dancing Videogames"

What else does it say?

"The event will be
held on February 15th."

That's in 3 weeks.

Look, here are the requirements.

"The teams must comprise of a minimum of 4 elite players. The
winning team will recieve a check for ten thousand euros."


Hey that's awesome!

But come on guys, people from all over will
show up for this. We wont stand a chance.

But we have all the records man!

A dance contest?
Just like in the old days.

All the young people back then
used to wear really tight clothes.

We would wear our pants so tight that
we had to pull them down to fart.

I want to show you something.

What is this? A storage room?

Before they brought in the games
this used to be a disco club.

Look, look at this beauty,
it was one of the best. The "Penelope 5."

It was founded by Jonny and his cousin
Fernando who back then were really good.

This is amazing, eh?

So did you dance?

My thing was the singing but Jonny was the
best I've never seen anyone move like him.

Before the accident he was #1,
he even was a finalist at "Dancing Youth"

"Youth" what?


Gutierrez! What are you doing
back here with the boys?

It's not like that Jonny!
I haven't touched them I swear!

These guys are going to a dance contest
and I wanted to show them these things.

Dance? Dacing died in '82, when John Travolta was
forced to use colored tights and do "Staying Alive."

Load of crap.

Damn Jonny, you never told us anything.
So used to dance eh?

"Did I use to dance?" In the 70's if you didn't know
how to dance or do martial arts you were nobody.

Oh was a wonderful time,
there were competitions everywhere.

And what happened?

The "move" came, boy.
That damned "move."

Hey and what about
that "Dancing Youth?"

It was the most important dance
contest that ever was in Spain.

It was during 1979.

Hello everyone at home, how are you doing? Good?
Welcome to the big finale of "Dancing Youth!"

Look at what moves
we have here...

Fernando and I were the big thing
back then, everyone loved us.

I was able to get to the
finals, Fernando didn't.

But he was there with me just like
he had always been, cheering me on.

Everyone was there: Perico Fernandez,
Toro Rudo, even the brothers "Jaratraba"

And what happened?

Nothing, that was it.

Get out of here, move it!

And see if we can get someone to throw
this away, it's only collecting dust.

Argh what a mess, it's my fault for
closing the pipe, looks like it's clogged.

Where the hell were you Jonny?

Oh Fernando, what a surprise.

Oh gross! You've managed to
make this please real gross.

It's the kids that have their
way around here Fernando.

Note to self: Arrange apointment
for colon washup at the clinic.

Move it, I have to pee.

But it's not clean yet!


You know Jonny, I'm a very busy man,
I have a lot of busines to attend to.

Real business,
not like this dump.

Damn this stinks.

This week we've gone up Fernando, we got a
new "zombie killing" machine up and running.

It seems like a hit.

Look Jonny, honestly I don't
give a shit about this business.

You know how much I could sell this
as, if it were flat land?

Hmm, who knows.

I haven't closed this down yet,
so you don't wind up in steets.

Oh god damn it!

What happened?

My ring fell inside.

It's okay, I'll get it.

Nah! Leave it Jonny.

It's OK really.

You sure?

It looks like you're in
luck, here it is.

Let me clean it up
for you Fernando.

Thanks Jonny,
you're a really nice guy.

Well I gotta run,
I have a lot things to do.

And please get this cleaned, I don't want
another call from the health department.

We'll have it cleaned
first thing tomorrow.

Note to self: Buy chocolate
ice cream for tonight's dinner.

Who's that?

That's Jonny's cousin, he comes by here
very rarely, he's always in a hurry.

Hey look at that.



Hey bro!

What's going on here?

Oh, you're on service?

How's the Mrs.?

Good, good.

Have the twins made their
first communion yet?

We're working on that.

I see you're as efficient as always.
Good service!

Hey, wasn't that...?

Yes, it was your Majesty.

He comes often for a dentist
apointment next door.

So what?
You're friends with the king?

Who Carlos? Yeah but he's a
freak, he has two pairs of balls.


No, it's a figure of speech.

Those are the guys from Special Services, I worked
with them years ago when I was in the Army.

They called me up for that trouble
at the American embassy in '76.

A really serious business.

But you were in the
Special Services?

Yes but they would only call
me for real delicate issues.

You see this watch? They gave it to me, they let
me keep it as a reward after my last assignment.

They're really good people.

Now come on, I have to close up,
there's a family waiting for me.

That BBQ sure smells good honey, if you keep treating me
this well I'm gonna have to ask you to marry me again.

Hey I saw Fernando today,
still as busy as always.

Hey there champ.

He needs some vacations.

... it could definitely
end with world hunger ...

Hey enough of these things, go get your
sister cause dinner's almost ready.

So these kids entered a dance
competition, just like me in the old days.

The truth is those brats
remind me of myself.

Not like this guy who
spends all day watching TV.

Alright man, take care.

See you tomorrow.

Hey Dani. It's about time, we've
been waiting for you for a long time.

Who me?

Yeah, we're Ritchie's
cousins, you don't remember?

It's about time.

Oh Ritche's cousins!
How you doing?

How are we?
We are alright. Look...

We just dropped by to take a
look at our cousin's snake.

These guys haven't seen it.

He keeps saying it's
awesome, a champion-

what hell is up with this guy?

He kinda went mad
after a fight in bar.

This guy bit a guy's tounge
out and swallowed it.

That was like 3
months ago right guys?

So you got the apartment keys?

Yeah, well no...

The thing is i'm making a copy and
the don't have it until next week.

One little week,
it sure is nothing.

Fuck, they sure take long
to copy a god damn key.

Alright buddy,
I hope you're doing a good job here.

You know that bug over there
is Ritchie's whole life.

And we've told him "If someone lays a finger on it, even if it's
just for fucking around, just call us up and we'll take care of it."

Alright buddy?

Damn guys,
this dude has been here since 10 am.

But why? It said here clearly that
auditions would be held at 10 pm.

Yeah, "10 Prompt Morning."

Alright, what's your name?

Yeah, um, Salva.

Alright Salva,
let's see what you can do.

OK one thing,
how far have you gotten?

I started 3 years ago, and now i can
pass AFRONOVA with 600,000 points.

How many members is the team?

4 but we're missing
2 because I....

I like your shirt.


You know what? Let's just leave it,
we're still missing one member anyways-

Not again,
you're just like in the beginning-

Hi! Am I late?

Hello cutie, I'm Jose Miguel.

I'm Lara.

Pretty name.

Oh yeah, look,
I can open my legs.

She looks quite flexible.

Well I can't get many points, but I have the Playstation
and a metal pad at home and I practice everyday.

Don't worry,
we don't care about the points here.

Yeah they're not that
important, no.

Then I'm in?

Yes of course.

Thank you,
thank you very much...

"Thank you for being with me!"

Alright, where should we start?
We have 3 weeks to go, what should we do?

We could start by stretching.

Are you guys already warmed up?

Yeah a little yeah.

She's talking about the
muscles, idiot.

Come on man, start it up.

Stomach down, until it hurts!

Put that leg higher,
it has to stretch.

Dancing is suffering, and whoever doesn't see it
that way should get the hell out of here right now.

Keep your legs firm,
loosen your ankles.

Keep your chin up, and smile!
this isn't a funeral.

From now on for the next 20 days,
I will be your worst nightmare.

Don't be so stiff, move your arms, you look
like a stick. The body is just an instrument.

You have to feel the music,
the music lies within us.

Touch your heart.

The other side, dude.

Alright, everybody please.

Can you hear it?
It's going fast. It's a 2X4.

We have to make that
rhythm drop to our feet.

This is crazy.

You know all the
songs by heart right?


you're only missing one thing.



And how do you learn that?

You don't learn that,
you're born with it.

But it's alright,
I'm going to try to rub some on you.

Hey Jonny but you used to
dance to disco music right?

Alright listen,
what were you listening to before?

It was a tango,
a speed up tango.

A tango?

Yeah, the dance is always the
same, what changes are the trends.

You're gonna try boy.

No no no, I... can't.

What's wrong? Is he retarded?

No no no, ask him on what
hand he's wearing his watch.

On what hand are you
wearing your watch, boy?

On the right one.

And where are your boots?


He's incapable of knowing the directions
of the arrows, it's called "Laterality."

I have a solution.

Listen boy, concentrate and answer me
as quick as you can without thinking.

What hand do you...
touch yourself with?

With both hands, it depends...

Well, it's okay.
You're gonna try it.

Wait wait wait!

Look, when you take your jacket off, you need
to make that gesture mean something, Watch.

Olivia is very
special, you'll see.

You're about to step into one of
the biggest temples of dancing.

Some of the biggest dancers in
the world have come from here.

Dolurio, Rafael Ojeda, Giorgio Arezu, the "Gotchet"
sisters, even Charlie Devolezu was here.

Giorgio Arezu?
Who are those people?

What do i know?

No, 1 2 3, 1 2 3, 1 2 3....

Hello, I'm Olvia. And you know fame has
a price, namely 60 euros per person.

Hello Olivia.

Jonny... but what... Jonny...

You look like shit,
you have a gross look.

You on the other hand,
have not changed a bit.

Same attitude as always eh?

I know that even if a 100 years passed
you were still gonna come looking for me.

There was always
something between us.

Yeah... a lot of smoke...
you still smoking those cigars.

And you still keep
bugging me about it.

You guys have no idea what this
guy was with the girls back then.

Olivia I need you to do me a favor. This gang of freaks
need to learn how to shake their asses in very little time.

And we can't have the
regular procedure.

We need... "The Old Method."

The old method? Are you sure?

My ass looks fat!

What are you talking about? It's perfect...
Well i mean, it's alright..well forget it.

Hey look, this is Jonny.

Yeah and this must be
his cousin Fernando.

And those girls?

Totally, have you seen the hair?
Such volume!

Her name was Lola.

And who was she?

A very nice girl,
we were good friends.

But anyways, let's forget about
sentimental crap and let's begin, huh?!

Silence dammit!

Keep you back straight! A lot of people
have walked out of this academy...

Some of them as great dancers.

Raise your chin up!

...And others with their
feet in front of them.

Just so know you know.
Let's see...

All right my babies, you better move like you
mean it, otherwise you'll stop moving forever.

Time to rest.
Tomorrow is the big day, guys.

Come have a drink with us Jonny.

I would love to but I have to close
up and they're waiting for me at home.

And tomorrow I have to take my
daughter with her eye doctor.

Come on, only this one time.

Yeah we'll drink in
honor of your daughter.

Get out! Get off the stage!

Come on Jose it's your
turn, come on sing!


It's really late,
you know what time it is?


Hey what's wrong man?

This isn't a regular watch.

Yeah it's the one the guys from
the secret service gave you.

You see these
metal buttons here?


They shoot 2 paralyzing darts.

They could knock out an
african elephant in seconds.

So what do you like to do on Saturdays?
You know, besides dancing.

Well I like to do a lot of stuff.

I like to go to the comic
book stores and read for free.

Or ride on the trolley
and see if I meet somone.

Right. Well I'm also a little special too.
At least before more than now.

Hey we've been walking a lot now,
are you sure this is on your way?

Yeah, I'm sure.

We've been walking for
more than 30 kilometers.

Well, this is it.

Wow, you live there?

No that's where
the Gohardas live.

I live over there.

You want me to get you a taxi?

No, I'm better off walking.
I like to walk anyway.

See you tomorrow.




"You are Special."

Thanks a lot.

I've been collecting them for
years, and I really like them.

Alright then.

We did really good today.

See you tomorrow.

See you tomorrow Dani.

Yes, who is it?

Oh hi! What a surprise!

Well, here we are.

Hey! Pac-man, go eat a ghost.

This one is from my time.

Well now,
we have to sign up but where?

Excuse me, do you know
where the KONAMI stand is?

That way.

OK, come on.

Good morning, Miss.
We are "The New Park Tigers."

Did you send the
form via internet?

Yes, we did.

Ah, yes, here it is.

The signed up contestants
are Daniel Lopez,

Jose Miguel Rios,

Salvador Carrasco,

and Lara Sonceles Jimenez de la
Riva y Domek vega de Arakauge-

Yes that's me.

And as reserve player Oscar Ass.

Ass? Oscar Ass?

Shut up douchebags,
nobody can choose their own name.

Is that really your name?

Well are you Oscar
Black Ass or not?


It makes sense he doesn't
show up at school.

Alright, here's the form,
the other contestants are over there.

Sons of bitches.

I think those are really
expresive last names.

Come on this way.


So many people,
it looks like they know how to dance.

Yeah, I told you
guys, I told you.

And they have style.

Well so do we.

Contestants for the "Dance Machine" Contest
please be ready in 5 minutes. I repeat, 5 minutes

Well, fuck,
I can't even breathe in this thing.

Same here.

That damn Gutierrez.

Well I like how it feels.

This way guys.

The New Park Tigers?

Here we are.

OK, you have to have a minimum of 40,000 points between
the 4 of you to get through to the next round.

Who's going first?

You do it.

Remember, you just need a few points now.
Reserve your strength for the real competition.


Me? Well they say not a lot.

The universe is huge,
oh great God of the moon,

Who lights the path to the garden
where the 7 keys of wisdom are hidden-

Sorry brother.

Hello? Fernando is that you?

God dammit, how many times do i have to tell you this
number is only for life or death situations you idiot.

Fernando I'm just calling you because I
wish you could see this, it's incredible.

You have no idea how these kids dance, and everyone
is seeing the name of the arcade in the tee shirts-

Go shove it up your ass.

Hello? Fernando? You there?

The guys will be here in a minute.
I need to change. Is something wrong?

No, nothing. Everything is fine.

It was incredible man, a real treat.
She had no limit.

Well did something
happen or not?

Yeah! I don't know. I mean,
I called her and she was screaming for it.

So I just did her a favor,
you should've seen how happy she was.

Girls from catholic
schools are the horniest.

What is he talking about?

Some girl he slept with.

Yeah but who?

Who else? Lara.

So at what time?

Whenever I called her and-

Son of a bitch!

I'm gonna kill you!

Oh yeah? You and how many?

Hey! What's going on here?

Let me go dammit!

Hey relax man, we're a team!

A team? Look at you,
you're just gang freakshows!

This is a bunch of shit!

You have no future here,
or anywhere else. I'll pass.

What's wrong bud? I've been looking
all over for you for like an hour.

I can't do it.

Oscar, it's all in your hands now.
You can't let us down.

Look, I only came here as a
reserve to have a little fun.

If I dance we're done for.

I can't tell between the right
arrow from the left arrow.

I'm just a kid.

Alright, I understand. But don't
torture yourself. It's not your fault.

I'm going to go tell the others.

By the way, how do it get back?
This is a maze.

Over there to the left.

The left...?

The left.

What is he doing?
Dancing in reverse?

I did it! I did it!

That was brutal!

He couldn't tell direction because his head
has backwards, we just had to spin it around.

But how did you figure it out?

I don't know! Ask Jonny, he's a genius.
A damn genius.

Well I never told anybody,

but a long time ago I passed the test
to be on NASA, to become an astronout-

Are you having a good time?

Good good, well as you know this morning was the
playoffs but now the real competition begins.

And not only will the score count but our
select judges - A big applause please!

Will also judge the originality
and style of the contestants.

So let's party started,
but before that,

A big round of applause
for my girls please!

They sure can move,
but they aren't scoring any points.

We're in the finals! Yeah!

You did it, you did it guys!

Now, let's rest,
tomorrow is gonna be a tough day.

That bitch sure can bend eh?

What about those guys?

The uniforms are cool.

Mind your own business guys,
don't even look at them.

Good morning.

Hey, who are those people?

It's the official team of the
company who makes the dance machines.

They make a special team with the
best players in every country.

They dedicate it so much hours
that they don't even speak anymore.

They communicate
with dance moves.

Yeah, they're not that bad.

Come on guys you'll get
cold, come on!

It's Jose Mi!
What's he doing here?

I'm gonna kill him.

I can't belive it.

Son of a bitch.

Relax, Relax, come on!

Don't waste your energy on this.

If you want to hurt
him, do it dancing.

Come on,
let's continue with our stretches.

Son of a..

Dani, Dani, come on...

Dani, why don't you go outside
and talk a walk so you can relax?

Come on.

Fernando, you should see how these
kids dance. And if we win this,

there's going to be advertising of our
business on all videogame magazines.

Wow, you're really happy
about this huh Jonny?

Yeah, it's like being a kid
again, like starting over...

Note to self: Get waxing.

Starting over? It's been years
since I've seen you like this Jonny.

Well, since the day it happened.

don't think I've forgotten.

But I think I have a
right to live on...

Are you serious?
That pig didn't flush the toilet.

It happened again Jonny,
my ring fell in the toilet again.

I'll get it.

No no no no don't
worry about it.

Don't mention it.

What the fuck are you doing Jonny?
Don't do it.

I saw him dropping
the ring on purpose.

Who is the little brat?

I'd like you to meet Dani.

Jonny how can you sink so low
with everything you've done?

Everything you've done? That's
funny, the kids see you as a winner.

They think you're somebody.

This man won the Dancing
Youth contest in 1970.

Hey I didn't exactly say that-

Ah, so you told them you won.
Why don't you tell them the truth Jonny?

Or should I do it?

What truth?

The only truth, kid. Yeah.

Jonny go to the finals but...

Jonny and Lola started off great,
they were good. Really good.

But something
happened, right Jonny?

Jonny did something
stupid, he risked too much.

And that killed her?

No, that didn't kill her.

So THAT killed her then.

No, that didn't kill her either.

So THAT killed her then?

Alright stop it!
I killed her, it was my fault.

Now let's head back.

Lola was my girl,
we were going to get married the next day.

That was a very long time ago.

Ever since then Jonny
has had a great life.

You can't always be reminding
him of that incident.

Note to self: Close the tap
I left running 3 years ago.

Jonny did a lot of things? I bet he
told you one of his Chinese tales.

Look kid, all Jonny has
ever done in life is fail.

He's a big phony when he starts off
with his fantasies. He loses his head.

I've sometimes thought about
sending him to a clinic.

But he's like a brother to me.

Attention, for a moment please!
Thank you, thank you.

Here's the moment you've
all been waiting for.

This check over here for none
other than ten thousand euros

will be awarded to one of the two
teams that have made it this far.

First we have a team that, well,
hasn't stood out for their looks,

but they've demostrated
to be great players,

and they are the
New Park Tigers!

Alright, and on the other hand
we have the Super Street Dancers!

You guys are going first, ready?

Come on guys! We have a great
choreography for this song.

It's our secret weapon
and can't fail us.

It can't be!

He's dead!

This is repulsive!

They're not so bad,
it kinda looks like our choreography.

It IS our choreography!
They've stolen it.

What are we gonna do man?
We have to do something?

I know, I think I got it.

In 1982 when I was in charge
of the security in Bonia,

I was the captain of Poland's national...
football team.

Come on, we're in trouble,
they stole our choreography.

But we have to do something.

When I was a little girl and I fell off the pony, I
would tell Braulio, my butler, to put me back on.

And I kept doing
that until I learned.

What I mean is that we have to get up
there and dance and have a good time.

Let's do it!

Well, I don't like this one bit.

What's going on?

Attention please,
I've been informed that right now that

both teams have the
exact amount of points.

It was planned that we would
hold the individual finals,

but there is a last
minute surprise.

Due to the success
of this event,

KONAMI has decided to make
this contest more exciting.

Daniel Lopez,
solo dancer of the New Parks,

will compete against the solo
dancer of the Super Street Dancers

None other than
Super World Champion

of the dance machine...

Yasu Takahasi!

This event will be held in 7 days
at the Ocion Center. Thank you.

No no! I object, I'm afraid this
asian guy did not sign up for this.

I'm afraid we have no choice,
it was the boss' decision.

I wan't to see the
form, the sign up form.

Here it is.

Even a blind man can see this,
this was added afterwards.

They even set the date back.

You guys have no idea who I am.

I plan to get the
International Federation.

I'm very sorry sir.

But we ARE the
International Federation.

This is disgusting!

It's not fair, it's not fair!

Easy Jonny, we can't do anything about
it, it's their say now.

I'm out of here.

Come on, you can take on
that guy and any other guy!


Leave me alone!

I'm out.

Why do you think they make you put the
products about to expire on the middle stand?

I don't know and I don't care.

Why do you think you place these
products around less colored products?

Or in places where the
music is more enjoyable?

So they'll sell better?

Exactly, people think they choose, but they
only choose what you want them to choose.

Us regular people can almost
naver get to choose Dani.

And why should I care?

You ARE able to choose!

This time you can stand
out from the rest.

And really prove
you're somebody.

It's obvious you haven't
seen videos of that guy.

I don't stand a chance Jonny.

It's better if we just leave
it, okay?

And yes, I'm scared to lose,
I don't want to be a fucking loser like-

Like me.

Well yeah, like you, and if I don't dance
against that Asian I might never find out.

And you think it's
better that way.

Yeah yeah,
it might be better that way.

Hello boy.

We've been wanting to see
you, stud.


Don't move!

Who's this guy?

Leave him alone,
can't you see he's a poor bastard?

Now we're all here eh?

What you've done to Ritchie's
pet has no name, it's despicable.

But, you did good in
the tournament eh?

Now you have a chance to win
and buy Ritchie another snake.

That way you can avoid him
and a bad experience, eh?

You're going to win it right?

I don't stand a chance dammit!

We just came to let you know what you're
worth a lot and you're very special.

That's what I was saying.

It's amazing, look. It's almost
as if he's not touching the pad.

Yes. We have to admit
that he sure can move.

Oh my god!

What's wrong?

Sebu, sebu sebu!

What are they saying?
What are they saying?!

Sebu is the dance of death.

And who are those guys?

They are monks from the shaolin
temple, the creators of martial arts.

Yasu Takahashi uses
shaolin discipline.

That's why Yasu is the only playar
capable of completing the Death Dance.

But what is this Death Dance?

We thought it was a legend.

But now I see it's true.

It's the machine's
hardest level.

No one in Europe has been
able to reach it. Because...

To do so, you have to clear
every song with 100,000 points.

For that...

For that... for that what?

For that you have to be a god.

Come on Gutierrez,
it has to be hidden behind the last level.

You almost got it.

The Death Dance.

Come on Dani! You can do it.

Come on Gutierrez.

Wait Dani are you sure?

Do it.


Are you alright?

I had it, I had it.
But it's crazy.

We all know I don't
stand a chance.

Yes of course you do.

You only have one advantage
and you have to use it.

Oh yeah? What is it?

The Tiger's Eye.

What do you think?

You see that expresion
in their eyes?

When we fought I didn't have that expression
in my eyes, but you did, and you won.

You have to get it again, Rocky. The Eye of
the Tiger, my friend. The Eye of the Tiger.


It's the eye of hunger.

You can't lose anything because you live
on the street and don't have anything.

He has no hunger
because he's the best.

But he can lose it all because
he lost the Eye of the Tiger.

Dani, if winning means
dying then we'll die!

We must have no fear or regret,
if to them this is gonna be hell...

For us it'll be like home.

Is that from Rocky too?

No, that's from Rambo III.

At least I tried.

It didn't turn out good
but at least I tried.

If I hadn't been there I would've been
miserable for the rest of my life.

If you want something in life
you have to fight for it.

You have to really try
otherwise you'll never know.

I know,
but maybe everyone is right.

Maybe I'm afraid to lose.

What do you want me to do?

For starters you have to
ask yourself some questions.

To dance like that Chinese guy-

He's Japanese.

Well, whatever - you
have to concentrate.

And find the force within you.

Is that from Star Wars?

I'm being serious Dani dammit!

The first and most
important thing to know is-

Why do you dance?

So they wont break my legs.

I dont mean now,
but when you first started.

You have to know,
if you don't you'll never be invincible.

Karate Kid, right?

Don't take me the
wrong way Jonny but...

To beat that bastard we need more than
cheap philosophy from cheap movies.

That philosophy from cheap
movies helps people, Dani.

Because people don't live
big and interesting lives.

People live cheap lives.

Look, I was thinking.

To get what we really want,
one must really fight for it.

Without being afraid to lose.

So I wanted to tell
you I like you a lot.

And you sleeping with that
idiot is not that important.

Here, I bought you this.

Thanks a lot, I love plush toys.

And about the sex thing,
I'd rather get to know you.

And go a little slower at
first, eh?

Really, Jose is not
the kind of boy I like.

I actually don't
like him at all.

But he insisted
and, I got curious.

Besides, we were only
together for a little bit.

This is pathetic, just leave it.

Here, this is for you.
"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

Are there cards for everything?


I never had the
opportunity until now.

Give me a break,
a girl like you...

Dani, listen to me.
I've actually never been like this.

I've only been like
this for a little while.

Before that I was...
very different.

I weighed 130kgs.
I would just sit around at home eating.

I'd never go out because I was
embarassed of people seeing me.

Then someone bought the game and
the pad for the dance manchine.

It was incredible because I got up and
started dancing and dancing like crazy.

I danced and danced and kept dancing
until my body started changing.

The dance machine is the only video
game that helps you lose weight.

It changed my life.

One day I went shopping,
and I saw your sign.

So I went to the audition.

That night you walked me home was the
first time I was alone with a boy.

And I liked it a lot.

Are you going to be
with me at the finals?

The finals! I found somthing
out about them, Dani.

My dad belongs to some kind of club
where Fernando goes, Jonny's cousin.

Well the other day he told my dad that it was
his idea to bring the Japanese guy here.

He bought the whole organization
and has fixed everything,

even the place where
the finals will be at.

He owns that place.

That fucker can't
stand us winning.

We have to tell Jonny.

Do you know where he lives?

Have you found out already?

I've known for years.

It's horrible, isn't it?


But what do you know?

That thing at the Dancing Youth.

You mean the accident?

Accident? that was no accident.

Jonny always thought
it was his fault.

But it wasn't
actually like that.

What happened then?

Before he went on stage,

Fernando gave Jonny
a strong handshake.

Note to self: Invest in oil.


Gimme 5 eh?

Come on,
show them you guys are the best.

I was surprised because
he'd never been too elusive.

Years later I understood
why he did it.

Sodium sulphate with
parafine, a classic.

It's a very strong lubricant.

That's what made
Lola's hand slip.

Then I saw him do it
in later competitions.


But why did he do it?

That same night before they went
out on stage, I was talking to Lola.

We were good friends.

She was Jonny's dance partner but
was also Fernando's girlfriend.

That night she confessed to
me she was in love with Jonny.

She said he was way more
fun and had a bigger penis.

She was going to leave Fernando
as soon as the finals were over.

Fernando sure knew about it.

So instead of taking the
embarasment, he caused the accident.

Suerely he did it to make
Jonny look like an idiot.

But it went too far.

How did you guys find out?

Man, the doorbell doesn't work.

Are you sure this is the place?

Jonny open up! It's us!

And if we call on
the guest door?

We don't have that
in the third world.


But there are little
squirrels like in my garden.

Those aren't squirrels,
they're rats.

The door opened,
what should we do?

I don't know.

Come on, let's go in.

Jonny? Jonny?

These are plastic.

A stuffed dog.

Oh damn!

Who's there!?

Hold this on your head,
it'll make you feel better.

You don't have a family?

I live alone.

I don't have anyone.

Well, I have Fernando.

He always cared for me.

Years ago, I had a different
lifestyle you know.




Until what happened with my leg.

You hurt it in combat.

No, a tractor hit
me and took off.

Fernando gave me a job
and has taken care of me.

He's all I have.

Well, and you guys.

You're like my family.

Jonny we came here
to tell you that-

To tell you we'll
never let you down.

Thank you, thank you guys.

It sure is crowded.

I've been here before.

This is one of
Fernando's businesses.

I'm going to go ask
where we have to be.

Poor man,
I feel kinda sorry for him.

Look there's people
from all over.

Some of them have
been here for days.


There's our apparel.


Yasu! Yeah! Yasu!

I thought I made it clear I didn't
want to make contact with people!

We've prepared a dressing room
where no one will bother you.

I hope there are crab
sticks and Strawberry Fanta.

If not, we'll get the hell
out of here right now.

Come on. Let's go, let's go.

Damn those bastards.

This is gross.

It stinks in here,
what do we do?

We have no choice
but to be here.

They'll call us
out in 15 minutes.

Dani, You're too tense.

You have to relax a little.

You can only think
of one thing now.

The Eye of the Tiger.

I want to see it in your
eyes when you go out there.

Got it?

What's going on out there?

Oh fuck!

Five minutes.

Come on, I think it's this way.

Gah! What a smell.


How's everything here?

They're even making
bets out there.

But I think they're just
going to give the money back.


Because the bets are 200 to 1.

That you lose, of course.

Well I bet for Dani.

He's the 1.

You're the only one
who thinks I might win.

Well, did you bring it?


Here this is for you,
we all bought it.


This is awesome!

I actually made it myself.

It's great.


Man this place smells.

What is it?

I have the animal
outside in the truck.

But if there's no money,
then there's no deal.

We paid him some of the money you
can execute your plan in time.

One more thing,
I only managed to find one wild specimen.

It's not domesticated.
You have to be very careful with it.

Okay okay.

Oh Dani, something else.

There's someone who has worked
extra hours to get the money.

Those girls sure can move, eh?

Damn it stinks in here.

I'm really sorry about
what happened man.

I'm a stupid idiot.

The truth is that night
we were up playing.

Playing what?

We played for 2 fucking hours, okay?

Damn you're pathetic man.

You see?

We're friends til' death or not?

Friends til' death.

What's up guys, are you ready?

Damn Jonny, what's that?

It's perfect isn't it?

It's an exact replica of the one John
Travolta used on "Saturday Night Fever"

I won it from Travolta's double
in a poker match in Santo Domingo.

Wow it's cool.

Come on guys, this is it.

Are we gonna win?


Follow me on my signal.

Good luck Dani!

You can do it Dani!

It's now or never.

KONAMI and and Ocion Center have
the pleasure of presenting tonight

one the most incredible events

Now I know Jonny.

Know what?

I know why I dance,
I know why I do it.


When I started I did to
have fun with my friends.


That's it. I do it to have fun.

And if they're not with me
this isn't worth anything.

Yes, there he is!

The challenger for the title of
"World Champion of the Dance Machine!"

Daniel Lopez a.k.a
"The Killer Tiger!"

from here you're on your own.

So go out and have fun.

And now, from Tokyo, Japan

None other than the universal
champion of the Dance Machine

The legend, the myth,
the one, the only,

Yasu Takahashi!

What a jerk!

Psst! Dani!

Come here!

What's up?

You can let that slip.

Tell him something, anything!

What the hell do I say?

Hey you, you speak Japanese?

Yes a little, I'm Chinese.

How do you say "You're gonna shit
yourself, motherfucker?"

What happened?

What an idiot.

He told him he has deep respect
for his family and ancestors.


Attention, attention please.

Thank you.

The winner will be the one who
gets the most points overall

from 3 songs chosen at
random at the machine's menu.

Our sponsor will give the winner

This check for ten
thousand euros.

Girls, thank you.

And now let the
competition begin!

Go ahead.

Come on Dani!

Keep it up.

He's a dancing machine.

Give him some air.

That guy isn't
human, look at him!


You can do it, come on!

Come on, you got him!

You did it man, you did it!

You only have one more to go.

Ladies and gentelman
this is incredible!

They have once again tied
with the maximum score!

He's looking at you
eh, he's chicken shit.

Ok, now our judge will make the
machine select one more song

at random within the AAA level.

Shit! The death dance.

Damn. It's all over now.



Calm down.

Come on, come on.

I've tried!
I've tried it a thousand times.

And I can't even
make it halfway.

Besides. He knows it, and he knows he's
the only one in the world who can do it.

That's stupid,
you have to get that out of your head.

All you have to remember
is what I told you.


Everything alright here?

Everything's fine.

What's wrong,
is he feeling sick?

I'm glad you came.
Have you seen him?

The kid has been dancing great.

He's just nervous, that's all.

The guy needs a drink Jonny.

And as long as you're dressed as a
waiter, why don't you go get him one?

You're right,
I'll get one right away.

How gross.

I'm gonna tell you something.

Your name is Dani right?

You know why I've been
succesful in life Dani?

Because I always make safe bets.

Honestly, I've staged all
of this so you'll lose.

So I wouldn't want you to go out
there and do a good job, you know?

You son of a bitch.

Note to self: Ask my
mother for a DNA test.

You see that?

No no, that over there.

Wow, someone droped a check filled
out to "Cash" for ten thousand euros.

What a coincidence,
ten thousand euros.

Just what you need to get out of that
trouble you have with someone, right?

How do you know about that?

I know everything.
I like to be informed.

Alright kid,
I'll see you out there.

You know what you have to do.

If you never try you'll live your
life not knowing you're a loser.

And it'll be better that way.

See you later Dani.

Shove this up your ass.

I'd rather be a sore
loser like Jonny.

Than a stinking rat like you.

I see you haven't
learned anything.

I told you I always
play safe bets.

I think this kid will suffer a fracture
that wont allow him to keep dancing.

Hey! What's going on here!?

They're gonna break my legs
Jonny, he can't stand you winning.

That's not possible,
right Fernando?

Why would you do
something like this?

Because he hates you Jonny.

He caused the accident
at Dancing Youth.

Enough jokes.

Let the kid go.

How can you be so stupid Jonny?
He's right.

Who do you think hired the guy
in the tractor that ran you over?

Yes... Yes. You're kidding.

I'm not kidding.

I killed Lola.

It's true!

Let the kid go!

Take care of him too,
he's still got a good leg.

Hold on!

How clumsy of me.
This always happens.

would you mind picking it up?

I'm kinda grossed
by it actually.

Release him.

Don't do it Jonny.

It worked!
They're paralyzing darts!

Jonny, don't get this
conversation out of context.

I just want to know
something Fernando.


Why? Why?
Because I could never stand you!

You were a better dancer,
you got the better women!

You had the better hairstyles and
to top all you had a bigger penis!

And also that exciting life of
yours, filled with special missions!

I couldn't stand it Jonny!

After all, I'm human.
You have to understand.

So it was true!

You're not human, Fernando.
You're a rat!

Jonny! Jonny!
What are you doing? Jonny!


What's up?
I've never seen him this way.

It's the Eye of the Tiger.

I don't know how that's gonna
fit through the bank's window.

And what are you gonna do with
all this money you won, eh dude?

I'm gonna open a
business with a friend...

A "tight clothes" store.

That's right,
very tight clothes.

[speaking Japanese]

He says he recognizes
your talent.

And it was an honor
dancing beside you.

Wow, tell him he was alright.

[speaks Japanese]

He says he's grateful you
helped Yasu be less arrogant.

And that humility is something
very important to be a champion.

Maybe another day we can play another round,
but on friendlier basis. Alright bud?

[speaks Japanese]

Jonny, you speak Japanese?

I never told you this story.

I worked for 2 years
at an Asian restaurant.


Dani, you've demonstrated
how to be a great guy.

And not just by winning the contest,
but for forgiving Lara that night.

Things are only important
if you want them to be.

I'm glad you think that way
because what we had was just sex.

Besides she was thinking
of you the whole time.

You see, a lot of things
happened that night.

After playing with
Jose, Oscar called me.

He was feeling lonely.


Dani, you're a great guy,
and you have a great personality.

But now I have to get going.
Right girls?

Yeah! Where's the bus?

Right there to the right.

Ok, so you're not angry?

Cause I have a card for you.


Hey boys, look look look!

Damn man, you've done an excellent
job, she's even bigger.

It's like a whole another snake.

Here, hold it.

If it wasn't because I picked
it out with my own hands,

I'd say it has the
pigmentation of a male.


Mad Dog!

That was great man,
you destroyed them!

You're still that skilled
rat I knew back then.

Back when we were dragging
in mud in Kuwait, huh?

What are you doing here?
Are you in service?

Well, your majesty is here
shopping and saw the whole thing.

The truth is,
he didn't miss a thing from the duel.

Your majesty? Your majesty!

Hello Dani.

I'm very proud,
and happy to tell you

That I was very excited
watching you dance.

No sweat.

Wow I love exotic animals.

Can I hold it?

Hold it?

Here you go.

Now we really fucked up!