Daddy and Them (2001) - full transcript

When an uncle is charged with murder, the event reverberates throughout a poor Arkansas family, including a struggling musician and his wife, her mother, her sister, and his father.

[ Kids Laughing,

Shouting ]

[ Woman Screams ]

Come on !

Come here !

No ! I'm gonna do it !

I swear I will !

Let me go !

Stop it !

Stop it !

Stop it !

I'm telling you !

Give me that !

Ow ! Ow.

Give it to-- Ow !

Drop it !

You're gonna cut

both of us !

What do you care ?

You said you was gonna

kill yourself anyway.

Stop it. Ow !

Give it to me !

Give me that glass of piece !

It's dangerous !

It's a piece of glass.

You said glass of piece.

Well, give it to me.

I don't care what I said.

Ow !

Come on.

And get up.

Quit actin' silly.

Ow !

If I can cut that thing

right off your arm,

then I might have

a reason to live.

You're the one that told me

to get it covered up.

Talk to that dopehead

that done it.

He's the one that told me

it was artistic

to do it that way--

pointy, not blocky.

Well, it's still a rose.

Crossed out name or not,

24 hours a day a rose.

And to top it off, you got

that feather or whatever

down by your crotch.

I know it's just

a cover-up job that's

hidin' your true feelings.

What if I had your brother's

name tattooed by my deal ?

A sex reminder every time

you went to fool with me.

That's how I live every day

of my life, rain or shine.

Honey, a rose

is just a symbol...

that represents a flower

called a rose.

And you ought to be damn proud

that I covered her name up

with a feather that way,

'cause I done it for you

out of love.

Bullshit !

I stayed on your ass

is the only reason

you fixed any of it.

And the only reason you got

that one that means "God"...

is to take my attention

off of her

being all over you !

I didn't necessarily say

it meant "God." That one guy

in there said it meant "God."

The other guy said

it was a weed whacker on

a Communist flag or somethin'.

And they don't even

believe in God... or Jesus.

Honey, I just picked it off

a picture on the wall...

'cause it called out

to me cosmic.

And you know

I'd put your name on me

anytime, anywhere.

I don't want it !

You think I wanna be

just like her ?

Thanks, and no thanks.

Thanks, and no thanks !

Thanks, and no thanks !

Thanks, and no thanks !

Communists don't believe

in God or Jesus ?

Mm-mmm.

I heard they're short

on toilet paper too.

How do you know that ?

That guy I used to work with,

the one I told you about,

till this tractor run over him

and killed him ?

Uh-huh.

He told me.

I'll be dogged.

I didn't know about that.

Come on, baby.

Let's go in the house.

Okay.

Hey, look.

Does my belly look flat

as it did yesterday ?

Of course it does.

Are you sure ?

Because it feels bloated.

Sugar, it's not.

Come on.

You'll have to promise me

that you won't leave me

if I get fat.

[ Kids Shouting ]

Hand me them candy corn,

will you, sugar ?

Sure, baby.

Thank you, baby.

Honey, it ain't

that I don't wanna

go see your mama.

It's that we can't afford

to go to Nashville and back.

I done told you that.

It takes gas money

to go places.

You don't wanna go see my mama

'cause you hate her.

I bet if Rose wanted--

Oh, come on.

Don't start that shit

with me again.

Well, what if I used to

fuck your brother ?

You wouldn't like that a bit.

I didn't used

to fuck your sister.

She was my girlfriend.

- We didn't fuck.

- You didn't fuck her ?

Of course I fucked her !

She's my girlfriend !

You know what I mean

by that.

All your mama's gonna do

is talk about

your damn old boyfriends.

Here we go.

Mm-hmm.

How great they were.

I'm sick and tired of

hearin' them damn stories.

I've heard 'em a hundred times.

And they were idiots,

every one of 'em !

Oh, so I'm such a dumb-ass,

I went with idiots

all the time ?

- Hey, you said it, honey.

- You like to hurt

my feelings, don't you ?

Okay, you're not a dumb-ass.

I'm sorry.

But they were

fuckin' idiots.

Every last one of 'em

was little-dicked idiots !

Muscle men, half of 'em,

which I know you like.

Fuck every one of 'em !

- You hate my whole family,

don't you ?

- I love your family.

Does that mean

I have to love yours ?

Honey, you're gonna

have to quit actin' like

you're gonna kill yourself.

It's embarrassin'.

You know the neighbours

talk about us, don't you ?

You fucked my sister !

You was 13 years old !

Did you want me

to get thrown in jail ?

I couldn't fuck you,

could I ? Back then ?

[ Telephone Ringing ]

It's on the washer.

Where's my brush ?

[ Ringing Continues ]

Hello ?

You're shittin' me.

Is J.C. livin' there now ?

[ Clears Throat ]

Okay. All right.

We'll call you at 12:00.

Bye.

[ Replaces Receiver ]

Who was it ?

Honey, it was my daddy.

Uncle Hazel's

been thrown in jail

for armed robbery.

What ?

Yeah.

We're gonna have to go

to Little Rock.

His bail's pretty high.

Uncle Hazel ?

Yeah.

Well, what's he doin'

committin' a crime

like armed robbery ?

I don't know, honey.

[ Claude ]

Can you slice that bologna

a little thinner ?

You know how Ruby is

about thin meat for sandwiches.

Well, it's pretty thin.

Hey, Dewey,

is bologna pretty lean ?

I think so.

I mean,

fat content-wise ?

Oh, it's good, it's good.

[ Sighs ]

What do you say we just

put it on ticket, Dewey ?

[ Clears Throat ]

Well, now, Claude,

you-your bill's pretty darn high

right now as it is,

and you ain't paid so much

as a nickel on it

as long as I can remember.

Now if you'd, you know,

just pay a little somethin'

on it every month,

so it looked like

you're tryin'...

is all.

That's easy

for you to say.

You're self-employed.

You don't have to work

for the county for

five and a quarter an hour.

I have to feed a woman

that acts like...

there ain't gonna be

no more food

and is skinny as a rail.

I don't get it.

She ordered

a goddam C.O.D. elephant.

A ceramic elephant.

C.O.D.

Now--

Her signature was right

on it. You don't know

what it's like, man.

Claude, you oughtn't take

the Lord's name in vain...

when you're talkin' to

a deacon of the church, now.

You've just went to pot

ever since your folks moved

up Little Rock.

Your daddy paid his bills.

I tell you what, then.

You just keep your damn

thick-ass bologna.

Here.

No-No-- Claude.

There you go.

Keep it.

Keep it !

I don't give a shit !

You just sit here

in your air-conditioned store...

while I cut weeds

and fill potholes.

And your church

can kiss my ass.

The only reason

y'all go to church is

to show off new clothes.

Don't think I don't know

about stuff like that.

And you don't give a shit

about Jesus.

Jesus was a carpenter.

He was like me.

He worked for a livin',

buildin' chairs.

[ Clears Throat ]

Are you still

an alcoholic, Claude ?

Can you slice me

another pound of bologna ?

She'll have my ass

if I don't bring it home.

We're goin' on a trip.

How come she's gotta

come down here at all ? Ain't

her people locked up in jail.

Honey, the whole family's

gonna be there.

Now, your daddy and them

is my family, and vice versa.

Other words,

Mama and Rose is your family.

My folks should be involved

in any big-time situations.

In other words,

a crisis situation.

But how come we have

to wait for her to come

all the way from Nashville...

to ride 81 miles ?

Why don't she just go to

Little Rock ? We'll done

be there and meet her.

Honey, it's what she wants.

She ain't gettin' any younger.

- You know all she'll talk about

is your damn ex-boyfriends.

- Here we go.

-Who wants to listen to that

shit in their right mind ?

-You hate her, plain and simple.

It ain't gonna take her

no hour anyway.

She's flyin' on an airplane.

Flyin' on an airplane ?

Now, see there ?

She can afford to fly

down here on an airplane.

We can't even afford

some damn bologna...

and candy... dreams

or whatever they are.

Candy corn.

Wait a minute.

We ain't got no airport.

Mm-hmm.

In Little Rock.

Well, yeah, in Little Rock.

That's my point.

She'll be flyin'

into Little Rock. It's

the only place to fly into.

She'll done be there.

Honey, she's got somethin'

she wants to talk to us about

on the ride up there.

She's gonna get a taxicab

in Little Rock

to bring her out here.

Then she's gonna ride

up to Little Rock with us

so she can talk to us.

See ?

Want some candy corn ?

- That rash I get.

- Oh, yeah.

Y'all are wired different,

you and your mama.

There's something off about you.

Your common sense is off.

Honey--

Hey, baby, will you--

Will you rub my foot,

while we're waitin' for Mama

and them, with Jergens ?

Mama and them who ?

Mama and them, Rose.

Rose is comin' too.

She is ?

Don't act so damn happy

just 'cause you fucked her.

You're a sacrilegious person,

you know that ?

I've explained

and explained to you.

If it's your girlfriend,

you don't call it fuckin'.

Now, don't call it fuckin'.

You're hurtin' my foot.

So you don't mind ridin'

up to Little Rock all the way

in the car with me and Rose ?

She is my sister,

and I love her !

I just don't like it

that you fucked her !

And I call it fucking,

'cause that's what you did !

Look what you did.

You wanna play

some cards or dominoes ?

You know me and dominoes.

I sure do, baby.

Y'all go to church

today, honey ?

It's Saturday, Mom.

What are you gonna do

about work, Claude ?

What do you mean ?

Well, what kind of work

are you doing now, Claude ?

You switch around so much.

How come Uncle Hazel

would rob a liquor store ?

Ruby says that you are doin'

some kind of forestry work ?

It wasn't a liquor store,

was it, honey ?

I'm cuttin' weeds for

the county. No, honey, it was

one of them quick-stop marts.

How come he married

a psychiatrist, reckon ?

I thought it was a foot doctor.

- Mm-mmm. A psychiatrist.

- She's from England

or something, I believe.

What's the difference

between a psychiatrist

and a psychologist ?

Well, one of 'em

can give you dope

and the other one can't.

That's what I heard.

Downers and uppers.

Claude, if you hadn't left

poor Rose,

you'd be with her right now

ridin' to Little Rock.

Don't her hairdo look good ?

Mama.

I left him.

He didn't leave me.

That ain't the way

you told it before.

Jewel,

in the name of God,

please give me

some peace about that.

It was ten years ago.

Poor thing's had ulcers

ever since.

Hello ! I'm here !

I happen to be his wife, Mama !

Ain't you got any manners ?

I didn't mean

anything by it, honey.

I was just braggin'

on your sister's hair.

Would've gotten

the colour part done too,

except I had to buy these shoes.

What do you think, Claude ?

Looks good. What's that ?

Some kind of little strawberries

or somethin' on it ?

Ruby, who was that boy...

that you thought

got you pregnant at camp--

Goddam it !

I am sick of that shit.

Ain't you got somethin' else

better to talk about ?

It turned out

she wasn't pregnant anyhow.

Shit !

[ Ice Clattering ]

[ Pounding Icebox ]

Y'all can have it.

I'm just gonna

get out of here,

and y'all can drive

to Daddy and them's...

or go to Nashville,

whatever you wanna do.

I'm gonna go to the bus station

at Arkadelphia and just go

on a bus the rest of the way.

Ain't you gonna

go after him ?

Not when he's like that.

It won't do no good.

Gets them dead eyes.

You can't talk to him.

If he was mine,

I'd go get him.

You kiss my ass.

You gonna drive

or you want me to ?

If I don't go on a diet

and lose my rear end,

I'm gonna kill myself.

[ Insects Buzzing ]

- [ Rock Hits Car ]

- [ Tyres Screeching ]

[ Grunting ]

Oh, shit.

Figured you'd be in here

this time of night.

Hey.

- You and her have a fight ?

- Yeah.

- Need a ride ?

- Yeah.

[ Snoring ]

How's it goin', Al ?

Who is that ?

That's that psychologist

Hazel married.

Hmm.

I wondered

what she looked like.

I guess that's it, then.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, well,

I'm gonna go to bed.

Well, some of y'all

wake me up to eat

in the mornin'.

She looks kind of English,

don't she ?

Mm-hmm.

Ruby's in there in my room

if you're lookin' for her.

How are you gettin' along,

Alvin ?

Oh, I stay nervous

just about all the time.

Yeah, me too.

[ Snoring ]

Hi.

Hi, sugar.

Hey, baby.

How come everybody else

is asleep and you're not ?

Do you like this colour

fingernail polish ?

I can't hardly see it,

can you ?

Yeah.

You know, I feel as good

as I've felt in a long time.

That's good, honey.

Boy, Hazel's wife

sure looks English,

don't she ?

I took a bath

and washed my hair.

I like to sit

with an open window

with my hair wet,

fiddle around with little things

like fingernail polish.

It's like a little hobby,

you know ?

Yeah.

I like to be clean,

don't you ?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Well, you gotta be clean.

Yeah.

I like to be up when

there ain't nobody else up.

Feels like

the whole world's asleep.

Can't nothin' get you

or bother you, you know ?

Well, it seems to me

that's when everything

can get you.

That's when folks

get knocked in the head...

and shot and cut up

and everything-- at night.

But I don't wanna think about

things like that right now.

So if you're gonna keep talkin'

about it, you're gonna have

to sleep on the couch.

I don't think so.

Besides that, that

Englishwoman's on the couch.

Oh, yeah.

Ain't you gonna ask me

how I've been ?

Well, I thought maybe

you'd ask me how I'd been.

Well, I've had a belly

full of gas all day.

That's how I've been.

Oh. Yeah.

Boy, you got

a pretty foot, honey.

Thank you, baby.

You don't reckon

we can find someplace

to fuck around here...

where there ain't

nobody layin', do you ?

Well, it's a nice night

out tonight.

There's about

six or eight car hoods

in the front yard.

You're so fond of that.

Yeah, I am.

Plus, I just love

the way you look

in the light of the moon.

This ain't the time of the month

when it's easier for you to have

a little old baby, is it ?

No, I don't think so.

Would you still love me

if I was gonna have a baby...

and got to be

a big fat lady ?

Of course I would, baby.

I wouldn't care

what you looked like.

You're my baby.

Plus, it'd be like that

famous quotation, you know:

"There'd be more than

twice of you to love."

I believe Ben Franklin

or one of 'em said it.

Some of them bunch that

signed the Constitution.

I never heard that.

How you been, honey ?

Fine. You ?

It's been a long day.

[ Snoring Continues ]

- Claude.

- Oh, yeah.

Well, I guess.

Mama made that little-bitty

sausage for breakfast.

Y'all better come on.

It's funny you to bring up meat

right off the bat that way.

I was havin' a dream

that there was a recall

on some meat somewhere.

I believe

it must've been California.

Everybody was blonde-headed.

It might've been Switzerland

or one of them places then.

Yeah. Yeah, maybe.

But the sun was out.

Well, it probably

was California then.

Or Florida.

Well...

we'll be in in a minute.

[ Jewel ]

Oh, boy.

I slept so good

in that bed last night.

Well, I know one thing.

You slept on most of it.

You didn't leave me

but two foot to sleep on.

How'd you sleep

last night, O.T. ?

Not worth a shit 'cause

of all that racket outside.

Don't think I didn't know

you took little Rose to bed

on top of my car.

Well, Daddy,

what'd you expect me to do ?

We had a full house.

Why don't you try to keep

your horse in the barn

for a couple of nights...

till your Uncle Hazel gets out

from under all them charges

he's up against.

That ain't no kind of respect.

So you know, O.T.,

that was me...

makin' love to my husband.

He quit Rose

quite a while back.

Why don't you

correct somebody for once ?

Oh, Claude was just sayin'

last night--

Isn't Rose pretty ?

Goddam you, Mama.

Claude was just sayin'

last night, Julia,

that you sure look English.

I was, and you do.

You just look English.

Don't she ? She looks English.

You do. She looks English.

How come none of us

was invited to you and

Hazel's wedding, Julia ?

Well, we just had

a quick ceremony

down at the courthouse...

with witnesses,

not a proper religious ceremony.

Your parents were there.

[ Woman ]

Well, we just figured...

we'd be invited, you know,

being family and all.

I'm a massage therapist and

a health and fitness nut,

you know.

Max here,

he works for the Gazette.

Gazette Democrat now.

He's from Chicago.

I'm really sorry.

We just did it

rather suddenly, you know.

We just kind of got

our feelings hurt.

I mean, God, Hazel

is my uncle, after all.

I mean, he was always sayin'

how pretty and how sexy

he thought I was.

Well, not in the gross way.

[ Claude ]

Speakin' of gross, Billy,

this woman is from England.

Do you want her to think

all Americans are whiny-assed

little shits like you ?

- Is that what you want ?

- [ Claps ]

[ Chittering ]

* [ Pop ]

Reckon we can stop at

Pizza Boy after church ?

I have to go see Uncle Hazel

in jail after church.

Sure like me some pizza.

[ O.T. ]

Well, let's see, I guess--

I guess maybe

we'd better take two cars.

We're not Methodists.

Me and the girls,

we can stay here.

And we'll meet up

after church with ya.

Ruby can drive their car.

And you just go on

and you just take Alvin

and your mama and daddy.

- That's four of ya.

- And Bill and Max in theirs.

That works out.

Just go.

Now, that's not right,

little Rose.

You need to go to church

with Claude.

A woman needs to be

in church with her husband.

I just wish everybody'd

get on the same page.

[ Man ]

Thank you, Jesus.

We'd like to keep

the Montgomery family

in our prayers...

as O.T.'s brother, Hazel,

was incarcerated recently...

for--

I believe it was burglary,

wasn't it, O.T. ?

- Armed robbery.

- Armed robbery, then.

You don't have to tell

the whole town, Daddy.

Brother Rush, would you

strike something up for us ?

Then you tell him

to get hisself back out there

and fix it.

Well-- Little--

[ Telephone Ringing ]

How'd he like to have his

ass whooped ? Tell him that.

[ Metal Detector Beeping ]

Y'all stay off

my hind end back there.

I'm goin' as fast

as I can.

[ Beeping ]

Ain't nothin' for me

to whoop a plumber's ass,

I guarantee ya.

[ Beeping Continues ]

Well, at least this is

a clean jail.

I guarantee you--

Bring him back out there.

We'll have a squared-off place

for him. I'll just take care

of him right then and there.

Hey, listen--

Hey, y'all,

you can't just

walk through here like that,

pretty as you please.

Get back over here.

I got to check you out.

Hey, y'all.

[ All Chattering ]

Here's your wife.

[ Chuckling ]

Uh, Hazel,

are you gettin' along

all right in here ?

Yeah, it's all right.

Can you--

Can you sleep pretty good ?

Yeah, all right.

Yeah ?

That's a hell of a thing

to watch a big brother

and a baby brother...

talkin' to one another

on the jailhouse phone.

Huh ?

I said,

it's a hell of a thing

to see a big brother

and a baby brother...

talkin' to one another

on a jailhouse phone.

Yeah.

I'm sorry that

everything's greasy.

Take a towel or somethin'

and wipe it off.

Yeah.

Somethin' about a jail

gets me kind of horny,

even in the movies.

What do you mean ?

You mean because

there's men in here ?

No, baby.

You mean 'cause

there's men in here,

No.

and they're built up

and they're muscle men,

and you like that.

I do not.

That's exactly what you're

talking about, isn't it ?

So I guess I'd better

get built up more...

[ Sighs ]

to keep you from runnin' off

with a goddam criminal.

Claude and little Rose...

drove all the way

from Arkadelphia--

One of these days

I'm gonna do it, Claude.

You watch and see.

Honey, you know Daddy's senile.

He knows damn well

we don't live in Arkadelphia.

Honey ?

Good morning.

Hello.

They usually don't come in

on a Sunday.

Hello.

Welcome, everyone.

Hello.

Come on in.

Here we go. Hi.

Come on in.

Hi. I'm Lawrence Boen.

This is my wife, Elaine.

Hello.

I'm actually a partner.

In the firm.

I'm not just

his partner in life.

Yes, that's right.

We're Mr-- We're

Mr Montgomery's attorneys.

Yes, and they would know that.

Sure they would.

[ Chuckles ]

Uh, obviously, Julie and I

have gotten to know

one another quite well...

as this thing, you know,

has gone on.

And I assume that, uh,

that the rest of us--

I've gotten to know Julia too...

get acquainted

as time goes on.

because there are two of us.

Great.

You see, we--

we just had brunch,

Lawrence and I.

Okay, well,

I thought that, uh,

we'd get started by just

getting to know one another...

and letting you know

where we are thus far--

Lawrence, perhaps...

they might like

to sit down first.

Uh, you see,

Lawrence is from Chicago.

So sometimes his manners

slip a little.

[ Chuckling ]

I'm Canadian.

Enough said.

Please, sit down.

Yeah.

Please.

Go on

and have a seat.

[ All Chattering ]

Why don't you sit

in the middle ?

This seat, sir.

That's fine right there.

It's very comfortable.

Are you going to sit down ?

Jewel, you sit over here.

Okay. What about

his wife Julia ?

Well, she's been here before.

No, I'm fine.

It's perfectly all right.

I love your hat.

I'm not very comfy.

Thank you.

Sure.

I'd like to start by, uh,

just saying that...

we have started

formulating our case.

I'm actually

the head of the firm.

I brought Lawrence in

when we married.

You see,

when my father moved

to Little Rock from Toronto--

Elaine, I don't think

they wanna hear about

all that right now.

[ Clears Throat ]

As a--

Oh. Okay, Mr Whatever.

Let's just cut

to the brass tacks, shall we ?

Attempted murder.

It's a very serious charge,

and I'm afraid it looks very bad

for Mr Hazel Montgomery.

It also looks like a basically

open-and-shut case

for the prosecution.

Well, I'm actually

quite sure--

70-- 70 percent sure--

that we can have this

reduced to assault.

Oh, bullshit !

Oh, be straight

with these people, Lawrence.

I mean, my God,

look how many of them there are.

Attempted murder ?

Well, I thought

it was armed robbery.

That's what y'all said.

I sugarcoated it.

Because of the nature

of my work

as a psychologist,

I thought it would be

a great, um,

marital aid, so to speak,

for Hazel to learn more

about what I do.

[ Laughing ]

Marital aid ?

- What ?

- Marital aid.

[ Continues, Indistinct ]

Oh. Marital--

Okay. Sure.

What does that have

to do with ? Are y'all

makin' fun of marriage ?

Well, hell, no, honey.

We're not makin' fun

of marriage.

We're talkin' about

a marital aid.

- It's just a little old plug

with a string on it.

- [ Laughing ]

That's all right.

Um--

Yes, it was indeed very helpful

in understanding what

we each deal with every day.

And Hazel--

[ Sighs ]

Do you know he really started

to feel some real self-worth ?

He was helping people, you know,

and not just "selling wood,"

as he put it.

Claude, you sold

a little wood, hadn't you ?

[ Rose Laughing ]

In my time.

Well, then this fellow

Tommy Christian started calling.

Actually, you gave it away,

didn't you ?

[ Laughing Continues ]

Goddam you, Claude.

Can't you give me one night...

where you don't drive me crazy

and break my heart ?

Well, don't

give me shit about it.

Talk to your sister there.

Tommy was very disturbed.

And he started talking

to Hazel incessantly

about thoughts of suicide.

Hazel practically

became his therapist.

A Russian

that wrote Lolita.

He took that word

and split it in two...

to where it came out

"the rapist."

[ Julia ]

But what happened is,

Hazel made the mistake...

of meeting Tommy in person.

Tommy became obsessed

with Hazel, started calling him

in the middle of the night.

All the time.

At home, at work,

always threatening suicide.

Hazel couldn't stand

the son of a bitch.

He was about to drive him crazy,

so he went over there and tried

to kill him with a doorstop.

Yes, well,

that's the short version.

- Around here that's better.

- Hazel maintains his innocence,

and I believe him.

I could go into why,

but, um, perhaps another time.

We could all use some rest,

I'm sure.

Could I ask you a question ?

Like, a businesslike question

about your psychology

business you got ?

Certainly, Claude, yes.

Now, are you the one

that can give out dope

or the one that can't ?

So which one of you

used it on who ?

What ?

The plug deal !

[ Monkey Chittering ]

* [ Pop ]

Mama, please quit playin'

that monkey.

[ Chittering Continues ]

* [ Continues ]

Claude Montgomery,

political science.

Linebacker.

Listen, I don't know.

I could explain it

to you better, maybe.

Listen, y'all stay off

them cars tonight.

I wanna get me some sleep.

Well,

I don't think you gotta

worry about it, Daddy.

I mean, Ruby's

mad as hell at me tonight.

What's that got

to do with anything ?

Well, I-I-I tell you

the truth,

I'm just--

I'm just wore plumb out.

Rose looks like

she's mended up a little.

She ain't finally carryin' me

a little grandbaby, is she ?

Daddy,

I wouldn't have a clue

what Rose is carryin'.

Well, good night.

Y'all say a little prayer

for Hazel.

Yeah, we will.

I had an awful dream

about him...

gettin' cornholed

down at the jailhouse...

by a gang of white guys.

Hey, sweetheart.

How ya doin' ?

Yeah, that's right.

I don't know.

Whatever you wanna do.

See there ?

[ Snoring ]

What do you say, puddin' ?

What you doin', playin' ?

You better start talkin'.

I want it all.

Don't you let

another minute go by

without telling me...

every little nasty-ass

bit of it.

It's my right to know

what I'm dealin' with here.

'Cause if you used

that contraption on her,

whatever it is,

tuggin' in and out of my sister

or you tuggin' in and out of

her, I have the right to know.

You mean her tuggin'

in and out of me.

You said me tuggin' it out of

her, and then you started to say

me tuggin' it out of her again.

You know what I mean,

you son of a bitch.

Just start talkin' !

I wanna know where I stand,

fantasizin' and all.

'Cause if you like that shit--

doodads, little

diddle sticks and stuff--

I swear to God

I'll go to the hardware store

tomorrow mornin'...

and buy a carload of shit

to run in and out of us that

will cripple us both for life !

Honey, I'm always

straight with you.

I mean, you know,

maybe it hurts,

but I don't bullshit ya.

I'll tell you everything.

I'll tell you

every little detail...

about everything

you wanna know.

You know that.

Every little detail.

I bet you'd like that.

You like talkin' about it

and killin' me.

What are you talkin' about ?

You told me to tell you.

I thought you wanted

to know everything.

What about you ?

God knows what you've done.

You probably just lie about it.

Oh, here we go.

Am I the best ?

God knows.

Who the hell would know ?

You've probably been out

with guys before that just--

Oh !

Don't even say it to me.

Don't tell me.

You talk about killin' somebody.

Oh, you could kill me,

and you know it.

- I've told you a million times

you are the best.

- But you're lyin' about it.

It always turns into your shit !

I'm the one we're talkin'

about now !

My feelin's are hurt !

Can we talk about me now ?

It's not you ! Now,

what the hell happened with that

thing ? What exactly is it ?

It's just a toy.

It's just a little

old bitty toy.

And it was a million years ago,

honey, back when me and Rose

here was two consentin' adults.

You keep your voice down !

You want her to hear us ?

Add that to injury.

Listen, sweetheart, a--

a man's got a past.

[ Sighs ]

I wish it wasn't that way,

but, you know, that's the way

the world goes around.

Yeah. Well,

a woman's got a past too,

and you keep bent out of shape

about it all the time.

- I do not !

- Oh, my God.

[ Chuckling ]

Ruby, do you remember

that time...

that you run off

with that Efford boy ?

Oh, God.

And y'all didn't show back up

for three days, and it turned

out y'all was in jail...

for, um, stealin'

a whole bunch of Pet milk...

and, what, frozen pizzas ?

Popovers, Mama.

Yes, that's right.

It was popovers.

Why'd you wait so long

to call me ?

I had the most

awful nightmare about that--

that you and this boy

was takin' poison

instead of stayin' in jail,

like Romeo and Juliet

and them done.

[ Ruby ]

It's okay, Mama.

[ Claude's Voice ]

You was in jail

for three days with a guy.

Just go back to sleep.

You never told me that.

You was in jail

for three days with a guy.

You never told me that.

Yeah, three days.

I'm gonna go outside

and pray for

Uncle Hazel right now.

He needs our prayers.

He's laid up in that jailhouse

probably gettin' cornholed

as we speak.

Now, there's you

some tuggin' in and out.

[ Gunshot ]

You see that ?

Now, look at you.

I always did say

one thing you can do is shoot.

Now just do the same thing

and get me a grandson.

Little girl, aren't you

proud of your husband ?

Which one of us

are you talkin' about ?

- See that, Jewel ?

- Good shootin', O.T.

Yeah, there may be snow

on the roof, but there's

still fire in the fireplace.

Or whatever that deal is

that they say.

[ Laughs ]

I'm sure there is.

Claude,

can I shoot your gun ?

[ Gunshot ]

In a minute.

I'm usin' it now.

[ Sarcastically ]

Claude, can I shoot

your gun ?

What's wrong with you,

Miss Priss ?

Ooh !

- Can't you ever just have fun ?

- Elbe, what in the world

are you doin' ?

I'm over here shootin',

and Jewel and...

one of the girls

is watchin'.

I just got it in me

to pick something pretty.

Honey,

what are you doin' ?

Kiss my ass !

Well, I don't know

what them lawyers want,

but out of all of this

they ought to find

somethin' they like.

We got the list.

We know what to do.

Let's go.

[ Man ]

* A lone cowpoke went ridin'

out

one dark and windy day *

* Upon a ridge he rested

as he went upon his way *

* And all at once, a mighty

herd

of red-eyed cows he saw *

* Comin' through

the ragged sky *

* And up the cloudy draw

* Yippee yi-ya

* Yippee yi-yo

* Ghost riders in the sky

*

*

*

* The riders looked on by 'im

he heard one call his name *

* If you wanna save

your soul from hell

a-riding on this range *

* Then cowboy

change your way today

or with us you will ride *

* Trying to catch

the devil's herd *

* Across these endless skies

Everclear.

* Yippee yi-ya

* Yippee yi-yo

* Ghost riders in the sky

* Yippee yi-ya

* Yippee yi-yo

[ O.T ]

Problem is, everything

Elbe cooked is raw...

and everything

Billy there cooked is burnt.

I should've knew better than

to let them try

to barbecue anything.

But I got foot trouble.

Is Hazel goin'

to the pen ?

Well, if he would agree

to plead guilty

to a lesser charge,

maybe we could work

something out.

However, he insists

on pleading not guilty.

I thought that's good,

isn't it ?

It's real good

if you're not guilty.

Mr Montgomery's

our client, Elaine.

We don't represent people

that we feel are guilty.

I know that, Lawrence.

But I also know

when a case looks tough.

I mean,

they have an eyewitness.

Don't forget, I've been around

a little longer than you.

Nobody's arguing

with that, sweetheart.

Look, do I have to remind you

again and again and again--

No, you don't have to remind me

every time you get a fuckin'

hot flash, okay ?

How much more fuckin' often

could that be ? Huh ?

I mean, what are you

reminding me of after all ?

Your daddy's rich

and he bought you a career.

I don't know

how fuckin' impressive

you think that is.

Go to hell.

Listen.

Don't you think

the important thing

right now...

You know, I think

I finally realised...

is Hazel's defence ?

the cuteness...

wears off really fast.

And besides,

with a 30-year-old,

you think you would expect more

than a four-minute erection.

I mean,

it is the point, isn't it ?

So you just take your

mail-order law degree...

and you shove it

up your ass.

'Cause it's over.

[ Coughing ]

I, um, think maybe

we're not the best attorneys

for Mr Montgomery.

Well, Claude,

are you happy now ?

Hazel ain't got

no fuckin' lawyers.

[ Man ]

The County Superior Court

is now in session.

The Honourable

Mr Dorn presiding.

All rise.

All down.

[ O.T. ]

Yeah, I got in

a lot of trouble in France.

I did most of my fightin'

in Belgium, military-wise,

but I kicked up my heels

in France a time or two.

What war did you lose

your legs in ?

I ain't old enough

to be in no war,

except the Gulf.

Oh, that wasn't no war.

Just a bunch of

missile shootin'.

My ex-wife

shot me in the back.

Didn't even shoot 'em by hand.

They used computers.

One of 'em

was broadcasted on the news

from up and under a bed.

They say a lot of 'em

over there got poisoned

with somethin'.

I guess nobody told 'em

a bed wouldn't stop

a nuclear rocket.

No.

Yeah.

Shot you just like that ?

Drunk a half a bottle of

Uncle Somethin' or another's

bourbon, then shot me.

I ain't heard

from her since.

Huh.

That middle boy of mine's

a crack shot with a rifle.

All right,

will the defendant please rise ?

Mr Montgomery,

do you understand...

the nature of the charges

against you, sir ?

[ Hazel ] To tell you

the truth, Judge, I don't

understand any of this mess.

Say "Your Honour."

Huh ?

Not "Judge."

"Your Honour."

Well, Your Honour,

I didn't do anything

to get myself here...

that you wouldn't have done

or anybody else...

who had to go through

what I went through with

that little shit right there.

Oh, my God !

You head-knockin',

redneck son of a bitch !

All-All-- All right !

[ Pounding Gavel ]

You are crazy as a loon !

And, Judge, let me

tell you somethin' !

- You don't know the devil that

this man turns into !

- All right !

Your Honour !

That's what they told me to say.

All right, I have order,

both of ya, right now !

Do you understand ?

We understand the charges,

Your Honour.

No, we don't.

- Yes, we do.

- You're damn right you do !

-You hit me in the head with

a doorstop made of solid iron !

-Kiss my ass !

What you doin' here ?

Oh, my baby brother

is being arraigned

on some serious charges.

He didn't do it, though.

There's somethin' off somewhere.

He's a good boy.

Married an Englishwoman.

I didn't even know

she was mad at me.

She ain't spoke two words to me

since Teddy turned three...

six months ago

or somethin'.

Well, see there ?

Children. That's somethin'.

J.C. is screwin' everything

that ain't nailed down, and

ain't come up with no babies.

I think he uses

them darn "condrums."

And Alvin, he's got his nose

in a dag-burned book

all the time.

And Claude, for all his

"carhood" and God knows what all

with that little girl,

must be shootin' blanks,

or she's got female troubles.

Them your boys ?

Grandchildren's

a whole lot easier...

to live with than real kids

is what I heard.

My boys is all I got.

Teddy and Jack, three and four,

over at their granddaddy

and grandmama's house.

Well, see there ?

Grandchildren.

Ain't you goin' in

to watch your brother ?

I can't watch.

He lost his lawyers.

They had a "May and December"

marriage.

They give him

a government lawyer

who seems nervous and ignorant.

All right,

we're gonna try this again.

Mr Montgomery,

how do you plead, sir ?

Not guilty.

Not guilty ?

Not guilty !

All right, sir, let--

[ Stammering ]

- Mr Caldwell, can you get

control of your client ?

- In cold blood !

- A nut the size

of a damn loon !

- You lie like a rug !

[ Pounding Gavel ]

Order ! Order !

All of ya ! Everybody !

- I'll kill you,

you psychotic little bastard !

- [ Shouting, Indistinct ]

- [ All Yelling, Shouting ]

- Order ! Order !

You in court ?

My cousin Russell,

all over 38 dollars.

He was a hyperactive child

and still is, I guess.

Folks is messed up

these days.

Life's easier, and folks

is more messed up.

Yeah.

Must be awful not to have

the use of your legs.

Yeah, it is.

At least I can hug my boys.

I was thinkin' the other day

about somebody bein' paralysed

all the way up,

turnin' their wheelchair

with blowin' in a straw.

Imagine that.

Not even bein' able

to shake a man's hand.

But your kids.

Imagine that.

Just havin' to sit there

and stare at 'em.

They wouldn't understand.

[ Billy ]

Daddy !

You're never gonna

believe this !

What ?

A man from the newspaper

wants to take our picture.

Lauren Walsh. I know him.

Good guy and good shooter.

[ Together ]

Hi.

Hi.

Well, how come

to make that court date

so far away that way ?

I mean,

why don't they just do it

and get it over with ?

Oh, courts are notorious

for that.

Supposedly they

have a backlog of cases.

Suppose it's true ?

[ O.T. ]

That boy back there...

got his legs shot out

from under him

by his crazy wife.

[ Jewel ]

Y'all gonna be takin' us

to the airport after a while.

Okay, Ruby ?

[ Ruby ]

That'd make you happy.

[ Claude ]

They can stay the rest of

the year if they want to.

You'd like that,

wouldn't you ?

My God !

Ruby, there's the bags.

Goodness gracious, girl !

You got a rear end

just like your mama.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh. See there ?

That's it. That's it.

I'm either gonna kill myself

or get dumped by you...

for some tight-ass

insurance woman or somethin'.

Real estate woman.

Let's go !

I didn't say it.

Here, honey, I'm gonna

put it back here.

You sure do make good ham hock.

[ Rose ]

Come see us sometime.

Nashville

ain't that far away.

You know, I miss seeing

your sorry ass.

[ Claude ]

Well, I miss you too.

[ Rose ]

Well, you take care of her,

okay ? I really love her,

even though we got

our problems and stuff.

I love her too.

And I'm sorry if I was the cause

of any of your problems.

Well, no, that's

just family, you know.

Yeah.

It'll all work out.

We'll come see y'all.

Yeah. Okay.

Okay. You look

real good, Claude.

Thanks.

Oh, my God !

I give up, you sorry bastard !

You sorry bastard !

Why don't you just

throw her down on the couch

in front of everybody !

Goddam you !

Get it over with,

why don't you, Claude !

Go on in the house

and beat off !

Hon, that's nasty talk.

Ruby, come on, honey.

You know that boy

Gerald Plummer ?

He's workin'

down at the airport now

on airplanes.

Cheer up.

We might see him.

Great. That's just great.

Yeah, tell her that,

why don't you.

That's all we need here.

Honey, why don't you go see

Gerald Plummer at the airport

and watch him fix airplanes.

- Would you like to do that ?

- I never touched him.

I never touched him !

Well, he must've had leprosy !

God ! I give up !

- [ Rose ]

I wasn't doin' nothin'.

- Don't you start with me !

[ All Yelling, Shouting ]

Rose, you stay out of it !

You stay out of it, Rose !

- Go away !

- [ Shouting Continues ]

If you didn't start this shit,

it wouldn't happen anyway.

- Get in the fuckin' car.

- You watch to see if

I don't go to a nightclub !

Oh, good !

Maybe you can meet

somebody pretty !

You get in that car--

Get in and shut your mouth !

Get in that damn car now !

[ Car Engine Starts ]

[ Car Departing ]

How come y'all

be cryin' like that, Mama ?

Sometimes, it just gets

cluttered up in my head, hon,

and I--

and it causes me to cry.

And--

I don't know how come

her to be cryin' though.

Can I see that book ?

Can I see that book ?

That's a psychology book.

You mind if I read it ?

Of course not.

My God, J.C.

You look like a cat burglar.

I heard the whole thing, bud.

Let's go to a nightclub.

[ Claude's Voice ] I'm not

sure what it is. I'm not sure

what it is I'm supposed to do.

I wish you could help me.

[ Ruby ]

Oh, my God.

[ Wailing Siren

Approaching ]

[ Door Opening ]

[ Ruby ]

What a horrible night

for somebody.

God bless 'em.

[ Man Speaking Over

Police Radio, Indistinct ]

[ E.M.S. Technician ] Sir,

you've been in a wreck. You

need to be real still, okay ?

All right.

All right. Don't look around.

You know where you're at ?

You know what happened ?

I don't know exactly

where I'm at.

All right. We're gonna

get you to the hospital.

Be still. Don't move.

Stay right there.

[ Woman ]

Nancy, no.

[ Indistinct Chattering ]

[ E.M.S. Technician ] Well,

you may have internal injuries

we don't know about.

With the bleeding on your head,

you could've hit the steering

wheel or the windshield.

Don't move around.

Do you know how much

you had to drink tonight ?

Well, I had a 30-pack.

You'd have to tell how many's

left over there.

All right.

[ Chattering Continues ]

[ Officer ] Hold up.

Oh, my God, it's--

[ Continues, Indistinct ]

- What are you doing ?

[ Continues, Indistinct ]

- [ Screams ]

[ Officer

Placating Ruby ]

[ Ruby Sobbing ]

[ E.M.S. Technician ] Do you

know who the president is ?

Huh ?

Yeah. Bill.

Okay. You know

where you're at ?

Now, come on.

[ Wailing ]

[ Gasping ]

Hey, sugar britches,

you just gettin' back

from the airport ?

[ Crying ]

Oh, baby.

Oh, my baby.

Oh, my baby. You mean,

you're not hurt too bad

or dead ?

You should've seen it.

We whacked the shit out

of that dually over there.

[ Chuckles ]

Big old cowboy's eyes

got as big as a pie plate.

I seen him

just before we hit him.

Man, oh, man.

You mean,

you're okay ?

They were all drunk.

There doesn't seem

to be anything at all wrong

with him except a bruise or two.

- Oh, God.

- See there ? We was drunk.

Thank God

y'all was drunk.

- Thank God.

- Oh, baby. I've got so much

apologisin' to do to God.

Oh, baby.

Honey. Honey, please.

Please,

let's never go nowhere

that we're apart, okay ?

Okay ? Okay.

Okay, honey.

If we can.

What's wrong, baby ?

I'm fine.

I just got knocked

around a little bit.

That's alright.

Honey, wh-- Wait a minute.

Where's J.C. ?

He's over there

in the truck.

He's stuck in there.

- They're trying

to prize him out.

- Is anything wrong with him ?

- Well, yeah.

He can't get out.

- But physical ?

He's fine.

He was the drunkest one

of 'em.

Anyhow, we're gonna

take him to the hospital

for observation.

We're gonna do chest X rays.

We're gonna check

for internal injuries.

And if you wanna follow us,

you can.

[ Woman Speaking Over

Police Radio, Indistinct ]

Well, who... that ?

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

This is Tamara.

Tamara, this is my wife, Ruby.

Ever since we got here,

she's been so nice.

She just practically

saved my life, even though

there wasn't anything wrong.

Well, it's nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Tamara is your name ?

Mm-hmm.

You think it would be alright

if I talk to my husband for

a minute before you took him ?

I know you have to take him.

Just for one moment ? Private ?

One minute.

Okay.

I'll see you

in a minute, Tammy.

She's so nice.

Did you have your shirt

and your britches undone

and open,

or was it Tammy

who did that for you,

honey ?

She done it, honey.

She had to check me.

You heard what she said--

internal injuries possible.

I bet you liked that.

Pretty-lookin' checker

you picked out for yourself.

Interesting you picked her,

isn't it ?

Shit, I didn't pick her out.

- She just come over here.

She's the ambulance driver.

- You didn't pick her out ?

One woman and a bunch of men,

and you didn't pick her ? Okay.

I didn't pick her out.

I can't even have a head-on

collision in peace. I could've

been tore to pieces here.

- Have fun at your nightclub ?

- Shit. We didn't get

to the nightclub.

We ain't but a mile from

the house. We was

headed that way,

and J.C. bent over to

pick up his Molly Hatchet tape,

and we been here ever since.

Is that right ?

Uh-huh.

Well, yeah, it's right.

Well, then,

let me ask you something...

if you're so smart,

Mr Nightclub, okay ?

'Cause you're busted.

How come the truck is pointed

towards the house, huh ?

You ever hear of a little thing

called female intuition ?

Well, yeah. It was pointed

in the other direction till

we hit that line dancer there.

-Did you ever hear

of centrifugal force ?

-Sorry your night got spoiled,

but it's so great,

'cause you're fine now,

baby.

Everything's okay. So as soon

as they prize Hugh Hefner

out of the truck,

you can go back

to your little nightclub

you missed in the first place.

[ J.C. ]

Hey, Ruby.

Hey, J.C.

They're tryin'

to prize me out.

Huh ?

They're tryin'

to prize me out.

I hadn't wanted

to get into this.

I wanted

to keep my opinions out

of the way of the family.

But in view of

what's happened tonight...

and in the light of hard times

ahead of us, with Hazel's trial,

I thought I should.

Frankly, I thought it would

be irresponsible of me not to

have this little talk with you.

Listen.

I really love Hazel,

as unlikely a pair

as we are.

I mean, who's to say

how love comes about ?

Hmm ?

I've heard him

pour out his heart,

seen him cry,

laugh and play...

and get angry.

And the reason

he was drawn to me, I believe,

is because

he wanted someone stable

in his life,

some order,

some communication.

He's gotten to the point

where he can't stand

to be around you !

And he loves you all.

But for God's sake,

I mean,

think about it !

I should start

seeing you all regularly,

on a one-to-one basis.

I can't really do that--

That wouldn't be ethical--

but there are other people

like me you can talk to.

Haven't you noticed

you're fucked up,

totally fucked up ?

You're so negative !

You don't ever communicate

to each other, and you never

ever resolve anything.

Plus, you're all alcoholics.

You drink constantly,

and two of you

were nearly killed tonight

because of it.

- Killed ?

- J.C. Claude.

In a car crash tonight.

And they were drunk.

My husband can't stand

to be around his own family.

He didn't realise that,

poor love,

until somebody-- me--

pointed it out to him.

Help me. I mean,

why do you just sit there,

hmm ?

You're not going to die.

You're going to fade away.

Talk to each other,

not at each other.

Connect, connect,

connect !

You talk. You listen.

You respond.

You respond to the response.

You see, that's how it works.

You see,

you never ever connect.

- Do you drink ?

- Yes !

From time to time,

like normal people !

Now, if I'm not mistaken,

the English invented whisky.

I'm not an alcoholic !

I'm not like you people !

Well, I tried.

Yes, Julia, you tried.

Maybe I'll see you when

my husband comes up...

before

the supreme high judge.

Goodbye.

[ Door Closes ]

Well, she got a bee

up her ass, don't she ?

Hmm. Yeah.

[ Groaning ]

My goodness.

[ Coughs ]

[ Gunshot ]

[ Gunshot ]

[ Gunshot ]

[ Gunshot ]

Watch this.

[ Continues, Indistinct ]

[ Gunshot ]

[ Monkey Chittering ]

* [ Pop ]

I'm sorry.

For what ?

Hazelnut

hittin' you in the head

with that iron deal.

Well, that's how come me--

to come on over here.

Oh, that's old business.

Well, I lied.

Okay ?

And I need somebody

to talk about it.

All right.

Let's get away

from this music.

Okay.

Here. Have a seat

on the steps over there.

Set yourself down.

Okay.

[ Sighs ]

Now, I wouldn't blame you

if you wanted to kill me,

but it's been eatin' at me.

The truth, that is.

See, I've

been workin' on myself

a little bit at a time.

Well, I been seein' a therapist

and eatin' fresh fruits

and raw vegetables...

and all kinds of things,

and it ain't

helped me none,

other than the fact

that I'm regular and I don't

eat as many antacid tablets.

Anyhow, when I was

talkin' to your uncle

on the hot line--

See, I was drinkin',

which I've quit, other than

smokin' reefer--

which I do every now and then

with my next-door neighbour,

who's eat up with glaucoma.

Anyhow, I was just

bitchin' and complainin'

and moanin'...

and just blamin' everybody

for everything, and he was

just so nice to me...

that I--

well, I just kept it up.

And we became friends. And

I'm always shitty to my friends,

especially the nice ones.

You know how that is.

Anyhow--

Mm-hmm.

Oh, I guess I was just

bein' terrible to him.

I mean, to the point where I was

just huntin' him down just to

tell him how much I hated him...

for not

making my life right.

Anyhow-- Well,

I guess he became some

disgruntled office worker,

'cause he comes over

to the house and starts

screamin' and yellin'...

and just spillin' his guts

about how much I'm

ruinin' his life...

and how much I remind him

of his family.

And that's when I told him

to kiss my ass. Well, see,

I shouldn't have done that.

'Cause then he comes

into the house. And he's angry.

And he starts screamin'...

and throwin' things around,

and I tried to stop him before

he got into my shoe closet.

You see, I'm a shoe nut. And

then he throws me off of him.

I go flyin' through the air,

and I hit my head

against that big old doorstop--

which they would've found out

ain't made out of iron anyhow

once we got into the courtroom.

Then my neighbour, the witness--

Well, he was high on pot and all

eat up with that glaucoma.

So I had him say

that he saw Hazel hit me.

Anyhow,

Hazel can't stand y'all.

Not near one of ya.

He hates every single one of ya,

but he's too afraid to tell ya.

Now, I'm gonna go down,

and I'm gonna drop the charges

and tell the law I lied.

And all the good eatin'

in the world or therapy

or nothin' did one thing.

And my therapist told me to go

to a spa and get some rest,

and I did. I went,

and I got massaged

and I meditated.

I ate oat bran, and nothin'--

not one thing--

did one thing.

But then I got a facial. And I

don't mean a deep-cleansing,

but a relaxing facial.

And I fell asleep.

And I started to dream,

and I dreamed these boys,

they come along,

and they threatened

to cut me open,

fill my belly full

of saltwater and then

sew me back up...

if I didn't start

tellin' the truth

and acting grown-up.

So your uncle's

gonna be a free man,

even if I go to jail

for "abstraction"

of justice.

[ Sighing ] And,

oh, God, I just thought

you might wanna know.

I'm gonna go

buy you a record player,

Mama,

so you can listen

to some different music.

Boy, that'd be something,

wouldn't it, hon ?

Daddy ?

Huh ? Oh, oh !

I ain't--

I ain't ready yet, Lord.

Please. I can't go now.

I ain't got no grandkids yet.

It's me. It's me,

Daddy. It's me.

Alvin, what in the shit

are you doing ?

You scared me half to death.

I was havin' a nightmare.

I got ganged up on

by a bunch of boys.

You might wanna

tell somebody about

those nightmares sometime.

If you'd talk

to Mama sometimes,

she might quit

playin' that damn monkey.

Alvin,

you're one of my boys

and everything,

but you are the oddest

poor son of a bitch there is.

* [ Stereo: "When Johnny

Comes Marching Home" ]

Ruby ?

Ruby ?

Oh, hey, Alvin.

Is something wrong,

hon ?

If Claude still

wanted to be with Rose

or anybody else for that matter,

he'd still be with her.

Your fear of losin' him

makes you want to blame him...

for stuff you don't do.

Lord knows he's

got his problems.

Y'all both want

to mess things up

before the other one does.

He told me one time...

you look like

an old-time movie star--

so pretty,

you're not even real to him.

Actually, he didn't tell me.

He told it to you.

I just heard it.

He talks to you

while you're sleepin'.

He's just crazy

about you.

'Night, Ruby.

- * [ Stereo: "When Johnny

Comes Marching Home" ]

- Goddam it.

What you doin', Alvin ?

Ain't you got somethin'

to read or somethin' ?

Brothers ain't supposed

to see brothers

on the shitter.

- I don't even let Ruby

watch me take a shit.

- Maybe you ought to sometime.

Claude ?

What, for God's sake,

Alvin ?

Ruby wouldn't hurt you

for anything in the world.

She's crazy about you.

Any man in the world

oughta be happy as hell...

to have somebody

care about them that much.

She's had a lot of boyfriends.

Women that's daddy's run off,

they do that sometimes.

They're lookin' for something.

She found it.

You're a lucky man.

Sure wished

I was built like you,

lean and everything.

Sometimes I think

Ruby'd be crazy about you if

you was as fat as a hog.

You think so ?

Mm-hmm.

Sometimes

I don't think she's bluffin'.

Don't ever

let it be too late.

[ Sighs ]

[ Ruby's Voice ]

Wake up.

[ Claude's Voice ]

I'm awake.

No. Wake up.

[ Claude ]

So what am I supposed to do ?

Pick a colour and a number ?

[ Ruby ]

One or the other.

[ Claude ]

All right. I'll pick a yellow.

Y-E-L-L-O-W.

And one on the inside,

right ?

Mm-hmm.

Ours.

O-U-R-S.

I'm so glad

you're eatin' cheese.

What are you

talkin' about ?

You know, you're supposed

to pick a word now, but I forgot

to write anything on the inside.

Uh-oh.

You know what I was

thinkin' about ?

Hmm ?

That one of these days

when we get rich, I'm gonna

build us a house.

I like our house.

I like our house, too, honey,

but this is gonna

be a special house.

I'm gonna build a tunnel

from the back door to plumb out

in the woods,

and at the end of the tunnel

there's gonna be a toilet.

That way, can't nobody

bust in on ya, ya know ?

Uh-huh.

And then

right next to it, there's

gonna be a little room...

with a weight machine in it

so I can keep my muscles good,

my belly flat.

'Cause if my belly ain't flatter

than all your ex-boyfriends',

you can't stay with me.

I'd have to leave you,

honey.

I gotta be better than them,

all of 'em, in every way.

You are.

I told you a million times.

But I mean in every way.

I hate them bastards, honey.

I hate 'em as bad

as you hate Rose.

- I don't hate Rose.

- Then quit eatin' my ass out

about her, honey.

- It ain't my fault.

I don't do nothin'.

- Why don't you tell her...

to leave you alone

and stop flirtin' with ya ?

And then

I don't have to do it.

If you don't love her

and you do love me,

then act like it.

It's embarrassin' to me.

You don't do nothin'

strong or hard enough.

I can't believe

you said that to me.

That's the very thing

that kills me, and you

just sat right there...

and looked me in the eye

and said that to me.

You wanna get one

of your ex-muscle men,

is that what you want ?

Then you can have all

the strong, hard shit you want.

You make me feel

like a gnat.

I don't mean

that kind of hard.

I don't mean fuckin'-wise.

Don't say that word when

we're talkin' about muscle men.

I mean, look me in the eyes

and tell me you want me,

not her

or the ambulance driver.

Make me feel safe

once and for all.

That's all I want.

You are the flattest belly

and the strongest

and the best.

And it ain't fair

for you to keep sayin'

you ain't gonna be with me.

You can't ever

say that again !

I ain't ever even been

with a muscle guy.

- I just let that on

to make you jealous.

- Jealous ?

To make me jealous ?

Yeah. I did.

You're funny as hell.

I don't even wanna

hear that shit.

I can't believe

you'd say that either.

[ Chuckles ]

Honey, I'm the most jealous

son of a bitch in the world.

I know.

My God.

I don't need any help. Don't be

doin' me no favours. Besides,

I've seen your pictures.

I've seen that one

big old guy, that Chuck,

or whatever his name is.

He was fat.

And I didn't

screw him anyway.

I didn't screw half of 'em

I told you about.

- Are you serious ?

- Yes, I am.

Just half ? I was kind

of hopin' it'd be less.

You know what I mean.

Not exact arithmetic.

Just a few.

- A few ? Like what ?

- It don't matter.

You're the strongest...

and the handsomest

and the most beautiful

and the funniest.

- But how about the biggest ?

- Yes, but it don't matter,

'cause I love you !

But I am, right ?

I ain't sayin' it again !

I said it for the last time !

[ Panting ]

What, honey ?

I don't care

how many muscles

anybody else has got...

or how pretty they are

or how rich they are

or how poor they are...

or how smart they are

or how ignorant they are

or-- They ain't you.

You see this ?

You see this ?

You see this ?

You see this ?

There ain't but one of

them things in the whole world,

and they're on you !

I don't want nothin'

or nobody in this whole world

but you !

You're the only one that thinks

about my old boyfriends--

not me !

And I don't lie to you,

so have some faith in me.

I love you,

and I'm good to you.

And that's all you get.

And that's all I want

from you.

That, and tell Rose to fuck off,

and maybe I'll stay

off your ass about her.

You are my friend.

Don't you know that ?

You're my friend.

I know that.

[ Crying Softly,

Sniffling ]

Alvin busted in on me

in the toilet tonight

while I was doin' lumber.

I'm sorry, sugar.

I guess it's okay.

He's my brother.

He didn't mean no harm.

[ Mumbles ]

You know what

I've been thinkin' about

ever since I met Hazel's wife ?

What's that ?

About packin' up the car

and takin' you on a vacation

over to England and France.

We ain't never been

nowhere further than St Louis.

It's about time.

And that wasn't for you.

That was for the Cardinals.

I wanna do something for you

that girls like.

[ Exhaling ]

Something romantic.

Take you over there

and see all them castles...

where all your kings

and queens lived.

See all them places

where folks got their heads

cut off.

That kind of thing.

Sometimes,

when you threaten

to kill yourself, it scares me,

'cause sometimes

I'm afraid that you're

really gonna do it.

I couldn't make it

without you.

I wouldn't even know

what to do.

Plus, every time

I'd be making out

with whoever I ended up with,

I'd just be thinking

about you.

'Course, I wouldn't

end up with anybody else

anyway,

not ever.

I'd probably

become a preacher,

one of them kind

that "abstracts" from sex,

you know ?

[ Exhales Deeply ]

You look like an angel to me

when you're sleeping.

I love you so much.

You'll never know.

[ Claude's Voice ]

Mama. Mama, tell me

what to do.

* [ Country Instrumental ]

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

[ Claude, Whispering ]

Daddy.

* [ Fades ]

[ Claude ]

I had the weirdest dream

last night, Daddy.

I dreamed you and Mama

was out in the backyard

dancin'.

Gettin' around pretty good,

too, to be as stove-up

as you are.

Whole bunch of us

was watchin' y'all.

Ruby wasn't even mad

at the ambulance driver.

Why not ?

Oh, and, you know,

I heard Chet Atkins play guitar,

too, but I didn't see him.

That was it ?

Yeah.

That was just it ?

There wasn't nothin'

chasin' you or nothin' ?

Not much of a nightmare.

I said it was a dream,

Daddy, not a nightmare.

Daddy,

I read to escape.

How come you started

talkin' so much lately ?

Sorry about your car,

Claude.

It's all right.

I'm just glad

you didn't get hurt

any worse.

Besides that, I had a dream

somebody bought me a hot rod--

I believe it was Willie Nelson.

McGwire hit 70.

Y'all are going to have

to get a TV, you know it ?

I know.

I know.

All right.

I'll see y'all.

All right.

I'll see you.

Bye-bye. We'll

see y'all soon.

Bye.

[ Chuckling ]

All right. Y'all

come see us sometime.

All right.

You come back.

Remember what I said.

I will, Daddy.

Hang on to that thing.

Hang on to what thing ?

That truck.

[ Chuckles ]

All right.

[ Engine Starts ]

We'll see you, then.

Bye, Mama.

See y'all soon.

You know, honey, we really

should get Mama and them

to come up and visit us.

You said "Mama and them."

Yeah.

You know, Alvin said

he was gonna start drinkin' pop

instead of beer, just like that.

Yeah. He told me that.

J.C.'s the one that needs

to start drinkin' pop.

That boy goes

through a whole bunch

of vehicles.

He gets uncoordinated

when he drinks,

you know.

Cross-eyed, just about.

Yeah.

Do you ever get tired

of things ?

Like what ?

Like the way you are.

Yeah. I even get tired

of the way you are.

Well, I meant both of us,

yeah. Everybody else too.

English are smart,

it seems like.

They even talk pretty

when they're mad.

When we had

that head-on collision,

I didn't really

see that cowboy's eyes

get big as plates.

That's

just a old sayin'.

I seen you.

Just for a second.

Kind of like in my mind,

you know ?

What was I doin' ?

Just

holdin' your hand out.

Sometimes

things seem magic,

know what I mean ?

I sure do, baby.

I had fun, too,

this week, you know, besides

all the horrible things.

It's kind of good

seein' everybody

in the same spot.

And we got that dream started

about us a honeymoon.

It's kind of like

that book they had us

read one time in school.

It started out sayin', "It was

the best time I ever had, and it

was the worst time I ever had."

I believe

it was by Dick somebody.

I'll be dogged.

Hey, boys !

Wait a minute ! Hey !

Come back ! Come here.

Whoa.

We forgot something, didn't we ?

What'd we forget ?

To tell us

we love you.

That's right.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

[ Both ] I love you.

We said it at the same time,

didn't we ?

Mm-hmm.

That's cool, huh ?

All right. Y'all's mama is

gonna pick you up this afternoon

after school, okay ?

Okay.

Daddy's gotta go back to work.

Y'all go play. Be careful.

Okay.

Don't throw any rocks

at anybody.

All right. Come here.

I know what you want.

You want a hug,

don't you ?

Have a good day.

See you girls later.

[ Ruby's Voice ]

You're so safe.

[ Claude's Voice ] I know that.

Miss Montgomery,

can we borrow y'all's hose ?

Sure, hon.

[ Sighing ]

What's goin' on,

honey ?

Little Ricky

borrowed the hose.

Huh ? What ?

Little Ricky

borrowed the hose.

Playin',

sprayin' one another.

Oh.

Morning.

Good morning, baby.

[ Exhales, Groans ]

I had a dream that

we got a station wagon.

I had a dream

I stopped usin' protection.

Protection ?

You know, my deal.

My diaphragm.

I didn't know you used one

of them things, hon.

I thought I should.

- Don't they stop

babies from happenin' ?

- Of course. That's the point.

Right ?

So I've been puttin' up with

all that shit from Daddy all

these years about grandbabies,

and I've been shootin'

at a steel door ?

It just didn't seem

like it was okay to have one.

Now it seems okay.

Babies know when

they're supposed to get here.

That's what I think.

They sure do, honey.

There was a carload

of 'em in that dream.

How many of 'em ?

Two or three of 'em.

Will you look at me in the eyes

next time we do it ?

I sure will, baby.

I promise you.

It's gonna be okay,

baby.

It seems like there's

a lot more air today than

there usually is, don't it ?

Yeah. It does seem like it,

don't it ?

Some clouds comin' in.

Maybe there's a storm comin'.

No.

Them ain't storm clouds.

[ Children Shrieking,

Distant ]

* [ Guitar ]

[ Man ]

* She don't

like her eggs all runny *

* She thinks crossin' her legs

is funny *

* She looks down her nose

at money *

* She gets it on

like the Easter bunny *

* She's my baby

I'm her honey *

* I'm never gonna

let her go *

[ Woman ]

* He ain't got laid

in a month of Sundays *

* Caught him once and he was

sniffin' my undies *

* He ain't too sharp

but he gets things done *

* Drinks his beer

like it's oxygen *

* He's my baby

and I'm his honey *

* Never gonna let him go

[ Both ]

* In spite of ourselves

* We'll end up

sittin' on a rainbow *

* Against all odds, honey

we're the big door prize *

* We're gonna spite

* Our noses right off

of our faces *

* There won't be nothin'

but big ol' hearts *

* Dancin' in our eyes

[ Man ]

* She thinks all my jokes

are corny *

* Convict movies

make her horny *

* She likes ketchup

on her scrambled eggs *

* Swears like a sailor

when she shaves her legs *

* She takes a lickin'

and keeps on tickin' *

* I'm never gonna let her go

[ Woman ]

* He's got more balls

than a big brass monkey *

* He's a whacked-out weirdo

and a Love Bug junkie *

* He's sly as a fox

crazy as a loon *

* Payday comes

and he's a-howlin'

at the moon *

* He's my baby

I don't mean maybe *

* Never gonna let him go

[ Both ]

* In spite of ourselves

* We'll end up

a-sittin' on a rainbow *

* Against all odds, honey

we're the big door prize *

* We're gonna spite

* Our noses right off

of our faces *

* There won't be nothin'

but big ol' hearts *

* Dancin' in our eyes

* In spite of ourselves

* We'll end up

a-sittin' on a rainbow *

* Against all odds

* Honey

we're the big door prize *

* We're gonna spite

* Our noses right off

of our faces *

* There won't be nothin'

but big old hearts *

* Dancin' in our eyes

* There won't be nothin'

but big ol' hearts *

* Dancin' in our eyes

[ Man ]

In spite of ourselves.