Daddy Issues (2017) Movie Script

So, I'm single.

You meet me later.

Hey. Yeah. You look like you've

got some sexy emotional baggage.

I am thinking of starting a

dating app.

It's for girls like me

that matches you up

with guys that have no interest

in dating you, okay?

You just matched with Brian.

He is hot, unemployed and

still in love with his ex.

It's going to be

called Daddy Issues,

a destructive way to continue the search

for love you never got as a child.

Guys use me

for my body and I use them to...

This isn't normally what happens when a girl I

meet in a club invites me back to her place.

The whole thing about single is that

I'm so attracted to basically...

- I'm sorry.

- No, I mean you're funny.

- Oh, thanks. Do you really think so?

- Yeah.

- Really?

- Yeah. But you're also really pretty

and that is, um,

very distracting.

Um, before we proceed,

can we just watch the next part

of the video?

I just really needed to laugh so

I can feel validated.

Where is she? She was

supposed to get here last night.

She had a show last night.

I'm sure she'll show up.

Phone, phone, it's my phone.

Am I gonna get it?

There's like fifty missed texts.

Fine. Can you just

get dressed please?

Yeah, yeah.

Cool.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um...

What's happening?

Could you stand right here?

And then, if you just like...

yeah, pretend you're my boyfriend, okay?

Uh, why?

It's... it's Henri.

Hi, everyone. I'm

here now. It's me, Henri.

- Hi, Henri.

- Carry on.

How can you not be with your

family at your father's funeral?

As if Dad would have cared

anyway. I am making a statement.

This is Kevin, everyone.

It's Charlie.

This is Charlie, everyone.

Ms. Henrietta, it's

always, um, lovely to meet you.

Sorry about... I was going. I'm

gonna leave.

- Hang up on her.

- Wait. I have something to say.

If I had attended today,

I was going to talk about how

Dad and I used to go to the park

when I was at school in

California.

We never had much to say to each

other when we were there,

but it really meant a lot to me to be there.

And I'm sorry, Dad, I know you're

done with all my career choices.

All I ever

wanted was your acceptance.

Hello.

She didn't call.

Oh, she called. Oh.

Oh, thank you. Thank you, Henrietta.

So

big of her. So big of her.

Yeah, but she

lives, you know...

What? What? What?

She was here in some way.

Party tonight at Fabric.

I know you wouldn't miss it. 11:00 PM.

Alright, babe, here is Paul.

Sorry I missed you last night.

I'll stop by tomorrow.

I was so sorry to hear of

your father's passing, Henrietta.

How are you handling it?

Well, to be honest, I've been

sitting in my room alone and...

Well, the reason we're here.

Your father has left you his

Los Angeles estate.

I mean, I haven't been

back in like five years so.

There are some papers

here and some personal items.

"Dear Henrietta,

I am dead.

My house in

California is yours to live in.

You must successfully see to my

company's legacy.

If you failed at doing so with

the Norton Phillips Company,

my whole life will have been

meaningless.

This is what you

were born to do.

Hopefully by the time you are

reading this,

that comedy hobby of yours will

be a thing of the past

and you will see it for what it

should have been all along, a hobby.

I want you to know there are

ways to improve on who you are.

You want to improve, right?"

What is up,

LA? How are we all doing?

We are so excited to see all the

fresh talent in the house tonight.

I hope we're all having a great time

and everybody is loving Best Comic US .

Now let's all give a big

warm welcome to our next comic.

Hello, everyone.

My name's Henrietta, or Henri, for when

my father reminds me he wanted a boy.

I'm here because I can't afford therapy right now.

Is anyone else here because of

that?

Yes, sir.

And are you here because you have a

family that you can't get away from?

Well, I thought moving five thousand

miles would get me away from mine.

I never had a stable home.

I grew up between London and LA.

I seriously have nowhere left to hide.

Oh my God.

My parents always told me

the reason they chose practical careers

and worked so hard their entire life

was so that I could follow my dreams.

Then they very happily told me that

my dream was to work their business.

That's kind of like the waiter

at the restaurant telling you

"You can order anything as long

as it's the pancake."

Guys that have no interest in

dating you.

It's gonna be like

you just matched with Brian.

He is hot, unemployed,

and still in love with his ex.

A destructive way to search for

the love you never got at home.

It's so good

to see you guys.

- I know.

- It really is.

This is the best.

It feels like college.

Oh, Henri,

you're like a serial killer who kept

all of her victims' phone numbers.

Wait, wait, wait, oh my gosh,

listen to this.

"Dear Henri, you looked so cute

wearing my hat you stole.

By the way, when can I get my

hat back? Hunter Ellis."

Yeah.

Hunter Ellis.

- You loved him.

- Yeah, you certainly...

Guys, like, we hooked up a couple of times.

It's no big deal.

If I ever married Hunter

Ellis, what would be better?

Like, if I... if I was like, "Oh,

I threw your hat away,"

or "Here it is. I kept it after

all these years."

- And threw it away.

- Yeah, definitely.

You throw away the hat.

Hey, what were you getting up to in London?

Loads of stuff like, you know,

replying to emails,

cleaning out my spam folder,

like, yeah, spam folders

takes ages.

Wait, wait, hang on. What about stand-up?

You were doing stand-up.

Yeah, didn't... you won that huge competition

right before you left. That was a super...

Big deal. Are

you still doing it?

Yeah, no, it wasn't such a big

deal, you know, it's like...

it was... I mean I've definitely

done stand-up since then

and I mean,

it was like... it was something...

hey, I wonder... wait,

does pot get better with age?

I'm just gonna go check my...

my stash

'cause I think it's like somewhere

in one of those... those souvenirs.

Does pot get

better with age?

She's definitely not

doing stand-up, right?

- No.

- I do actually hope she has pot.

Nolan!

- What are you doing here?

- What are you doing here? I live here.

Nolan is here?

The one I went to college

with. Perfect. Hi, guys. Hello.

What are you doing here?

Because this is...

Was my Dad's house.

Yeah, I know. I've been renting a room from him

and redoing... redoing the deck out front.

For how long?

Not long. Not long. Four... four,

five... four, five years.

Nolan, why don't you come join us. There's

obviously so much we have to catch up on.

- Yeah, come on.

- Probably not that much.

Okay, yeah. I mean,

unless you guys just invited me

'cause you feel obligated, like,

I don't... I don't need to party, I can

just like hang in my room on my computer.

So I should...

It'll only take me like a couple

of seconds to get dressed...

- No. No, no, you're fine.

- And I can just get...

Alright.

Weird.

- Yeah. Hit me.

- Kind of...

Well, I hate to be that person, but I have a

5:00 AM yogalates class in the morning, so.

- No.

- Yeah, I can't believe I'm up this late, I have a deposition.

Why?

Seriously, stay longer.

No, no, they're right.

This is like the longest I've

ever left Glen alone with the baby

and I'm afraid he's gonna like

microwave the formula or something.

Hey, that's like a good

thing though, right? He's...

No, sweetie,

no. It's not okay.

Nolan,

kisses and hugs.

Nolan, it's

been real. Love you.

- See you later guys.

- Love you.

- So much more wine, love.

- Yeah.

You guys adults yet?

No.

And this is the closet.

Oh really? I

thought it was the pool.

So weird. Dad's clothes.

They smell just like him.

Those are mine actually.

This is bigger than

my entire apartment.

Alice, how's the high-powered Hollywood

talent agent lifestyle treating you?

Oh, it's good. It's good.

- What do you do?

- She was a TAA.

- Oh, cool.

- She's an aspiring agent.

She's absolutely awesome at it.

And she knows everybody in town.

- I don't know everybody.

- Oh my God, you could hook me up with a gig, right Alice?

Oh, I... I didn't even... I didn't

even know you still want to do that.

Yeah, of course, I do.

Oh. But why'd you leave right

after you won the competition?

I didn't win,

I got third place.

- Oh.

- But I'm gonna start back where I left off.

But you know it's not that easy,

right?

You have to like, you know,

get your tapes with new sets and...

I was gonna

do that anyway.

Sorry.

Hello.

I'll take this. One second.

Hey, was that

little weird to you?

What do you mean?

I just think she's a bit weird

about showing people my stuff.

You know, I'm sure it's just

like complicated

to show your friend to people in

the industry.

- Hmm.

- Yeah.

You should

wear clothes now.

Hey.

Hey, where are you?

I have a vegan lasagna with your

name on it. Literally.

I spelled your name out in spaghetti

sauce, it is illegible but still edible.

Is it fun to see your old

college friends?

It's like is anybody really

weird or fat now? I don't know.

Okay, never mind.

So, you wanna come over?

Uh, actually I think I'm just gonna stay

on the couch here, I've had some wine.

Yeah, roger that. I will just freeze

that lasagna for another time. Have fun.

Thanks, babe.

Love you.

Love you, too.

And lower.

- Five.

- Pressing the heels together.

- Is that Ava?

- Yeah.

Cool. Everything okay?

Yeah, everything

is great. It is good.

Awesome.

But I do have to go.

- Oh, no.

- I know. I'm so happy you're back.

Yeah. So good to see you.

Do you ever feel like there's

something wrong with you?

What do you mean?

There's something about me.

If you found out, I'm afraid you

wouldn't love me anymore.

Russ, there is nothing that

you can ever tell me about yourself...

Who's that?

That's my girlfriend.

- See that?

- Ah.

She's a little

young for you.

No, that's a... that's...

the consenting adult is my girlfriend.

- Oh.

- That's her daughter.

- Oh, cool.

- Yeah.

- Cute.

- Thank you.

So, you're

like a dad kind of?

No, no, no dad,

just dating a mom.

- Cool.

- Yeah.

There's something.

Well, you've always

had the wardrobe for it.

...that I just

can't leave behind.

Oh, well bushed. I'm gonna go

to sleep. Are you going to bed?

Um, no,

jet lag anyway, so.

- Okay. Well, it's good... it's good seeing you. There you go.

- Good to see you again.

- Alright. Good night.

- Night.

I focus on the future.

I have to go.

Now?

It's the

middle of the school day.

I said I have to

go. Don't you get it?

Hey. Yeah, I was wondering if

you still wanted your hat back.

You look like that

movie star Claudette Colbert.

Thanks.

I don't... I

don't know who that is. Sorry.

She's Clark

Gable's girlfriend.

- Oh.

- Yeah.

I know Clark Gable.

Good.

- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I... I... I can't do this and...

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I'm, uh, I don't know

what I am doing here and...

- I'd like to get to know you.

- I'm not a prostitute.

- I never said you're a prostitute.

That's why

I went to that site.

I thought this was like

thinly veiled prostitution.

Oh,

so you're a prostitute?

No, I'm not a...

Oh my God, oh my God, yeah, yeah. I can see how

that looks like, I... I'm not. I'm just...

It was a stupid idea, I know, to go on

the Internet looking for companionship.

But I'm sorry... I've never done

this before.

- Oh really?

- No way.

- So, you don't know what's going on either?

- No.

But, you know, I'm looking

for some companionship.

I... I have... I was married for a

long time.

- Yeah?

- And I have a lot of stress in my job

and I just don't know how to go

about meeting someone anymore.

I have something to

give, I think.

- Sure.

- I like to share it with...

with someone who...

Was beautiful

and intellectual, you know,

someone like you.

Thank you.

How do you

feel, LA Sugar 26?

Oh my God. Well,

embarrassed, first of all.

How about some wine?

Room service, good conversation.

Can we order

mashed potatoes?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

It's great to see

you. You look good.

Thanks.

Let me do that.

- I've got it.

- Oh, it's okay.

It just bugs me when

people pour beer the wrong way.

You have to do it perfectly,

that way you get one inch of foam.

I really like foam.

That's not how

beer is supposed to be.

It's how my beer

is supposed to be.

It's not though.

I'm sorry.

I didn't realize

I've been doing that wrong.

It's okay. That's

what I'm here for.

Wow.

It's so clean in here.

We're not trying to mess up or

anything.

- No, of course.

- You know.

So...

Yeah.

I like your place a lot.

I like you in my place.

- Uh-huh.

- It is great to see you.

It's so good

to see you, too.

One second.

It'll wrinkle.

If next time you could just like

throw it on the chair.

Where were we?

If you could just take

your shoes off really quick?

- Take my shoes off?

- Yeah.

- Oh, you like my shoes off?

- I do.

- You prefer them off?

- Yes.

- How is that?

- So much better.

- Is it really?

- Oh my God, it's something really.

- Get to that toaster.

- Can I just...

- Yeah.

- Thanks.

Thanks for driving.

So how did you just forget to

drive on which side of the road?

And how does that just like

leave your mind?

I mean, I'm just a bit nervous.

It's been a while and I can't be

late for the board.

You gotta say your speech?

No. I mean I've been a board member of the

Norton Phillips Company for four years now, so.

Mm.

Yeah, but like how many times have

you actually had to do anything?

I'm looking forward to this.

Why?

Because I work there.

Oh my God.

I'm your boss now?

No, you're not.

And my first

thought's gonna be to fire you.

- What?

- Yeah. Yeah, one more word... shh,

one more word and you're

fired.

- You're... You're fired.

- You're fired. You're fired.

- You're... you're fired.

- You're fired.

Shh.

Don't say it. Shh.

Stepping in for her late father and

our CEO who we miss greatly here in LA

with a degree in marketing...

Alumni of LMU here in

LA, Henrietta Norton Phillips.

Um, is this thing on?

Hello, hello. Hi.

Hello, everybody.

You, casual Friday,

where are you here from?

I'm Spencer

from Human Resources.

Since when were humans,

just a resource, right?

I mean, what are we, oil?

This has been a tough year

for Norton Phillips, guys.

You need to know that you can be

better than what you are now.

I mean, we all miss my father,

right?

All I can do is claim my own

fresh start.

And that is exactly

what we're gonna do here

at Norton Phillips,

at the New Year.

We are gonna start afresh.

Here's to Norton Phillips!

Bring in the champagne. Who

wants some? Yes.

Henrietta,

you coming

in here was just a formality.

Yeah, but according to my

father's will,

I'm executive vice president

member of the board, so.

My daughter is vice president of

her seventh-grade class.

Some titles just don't require

real responsibility.

That's lunch, everyone.

As a former seventh-grade class vice

president, I'm offended by that.

To Mr. Norton Phillips.

- To Ed.

- To Dad.

Oh my God,

how did it get so late?

Champagne can do that.

Oh God.

Oh my God, Terrance, what's

wrong? That was supposed to be uplifting.

No, no, no,

it's not you.

It was uplifting,

it was really nice.

It's just...

I'm an alcoholic and I've been

sober for six weeks today.

- Oh God, no.

- Yeah.

- No.

- It's not... it's fine, it's fine.

- No.

- Listen, I'm just grieving, I miss your dad so much.

He was so nice and caring.

And he's the only one who

donated to my Kickstarter.

And I shared it.

Did you donate?

I make these little wooden

animal figurines and,

you know,

nobody really likes them but...

- What?

- He really did.

Oh my God, what? Why did he support

your weird hobby and not mine? Why?

I'm sure he supported you in his

own way.

I'm sure he loved you. You're very funny, yeah.

Yeah.

This is stupid anyway.

Nobody bought any of them.

- Oh my God...

- Will you buy some?

I'm gonna buy a

ton. I'm gonna buy a ton.

You're gonna buy

a ton? Oh my God.

It turns out we're good.

Do you guys wanna

come over and have dinner?

- Right now?

- Yeah, right now.

- No, I think...

- I don't think that's like... he'll probably get you there.

- Hey, it's for him.

- You're my best friend.

- This is him. This is our guy.

- Here it is.

You know this guy? I'll

take you home. You guys coming with me?

Not tonight.

Maybe another night.

Hang out

another night, yeah.

- Maybe another night.

- Thanks for the fun times.

Yeah. Bye,

Terrance.

Feel better.

Get some sleep.

Get some carving

done, man. Get that carving in.

Who are you?

Wanna do some more?

I have to get back.

- Oh, really?

- I'm sorry. Yeah, I do.

Really? There's pubs to the left

and to the right down the street,

there's a terrible live

music bar.

- It's so fun though. Come on.

- Oh, does that sound great? That sounds so good.

Hey, I'll leave and give you that

because there's a little bit left.

I know. I have to

go though. You want to come?

No, you're so boring, man.

- Okay. Well...

- You're a duh.

On that note, are you coming?

Train's leaving. Train's leaving.

I hate the carriage

on the train. See ya.

Alright.

Hey, it's Alice.

Leave a message and I'll call you back.

Hi, this is Hunter Ellis.

Hey, Hunter, it's Henri here.

I am out with friends right now.

- But I might be...

- Man, I tell you, you owe us two tabs and shit.

Might be available later

if you want to get together.

- Shh!

- When the midnight comes, you bitches be crowned

with the

fire brimstone with your tooth.

- Then just give me a call, okay?

- Bitches.

Daddy issues.

What did you say?

You can't have my roof.

No way.

That dickhead!

- See you tonight.

- Hey girl.

- Oh God, I didn't mean to call a ride share.

Are you the Henrietta?

- Yeah.

- Hi.

- Follow the Beamer!

- Oh my God! Where do you keep coming from?

Um, excuse me.

Wait,

we gotta follow the Beamer.

No, no, no,

because we got to get to Islands

because Lindsay is going to

marry tomorrow.

Whoo!

We got the married dance.

We... so are

you guys criminals?

No, no, no, it's about

my boyfriend. He's in that.

- It's your boyfriend?

- Not boyfriend.

- He's such a hipster.

- I like you.

Yeah. We met searching for pirate

treasure on St. Edward Island.

- No, no.

- That's so romantic.

None of that is real, guys.

- Listen, Pam.

- It's Pam.

- Pam.

- Pam. We need to follow that Beamer

because the man that is my soul

mate is in there with another woman.

Oh no.

Do you... do you guys think Aiden will do

that to me after we get married tomorrow?

- No.

- No. Why would he? You're so pretty.

- And your bangs are amazing.

- Why would he touch your...

Okay, okay,

can we just drive?

I always wanted to be in a high

speed of car chase, you know.

But seriously though, the secret to

a healthy relationship, Stephanie,

I'm talking to you,

is by compassionate boundaries,

and that's how Heidi and I,

we keep things so put together.

I haven't been doing any of those

things, where I've been going wrong?

- Okay, calm... Did we lose him?

- You guys are beautiful.

They are in his apartment.

What a dick.

Asshole.

Do you think Aiden will bring a

girl back to his apartment

- after we get married tomorrow?

- Maybe.

- He may, I don't know.

- I don't know, Lindsay.

They're leaving...

they're leaving the house.

- Oh my God.

- She's an overnight bag.

Matilda has a boss.

Shh! No, no, no, that means that he was

in the apartment earlier today with her.

I like the lawn ornaments.

- Cover up.

- You can have it.

Rip it!

- Rip it!

- Break it apart.

How long were you

with this asshole anyway?

Like two days,

but it's not really, you know,

like labeled or anything like that.

Wait, what? Oh my God.

Two days?

- I got to get to Islands.

- I feel sad now.

He still hurt me.

I'm still wounded.

- You finally got in.

- Yeah. It's really nice.

Yeah, it's fine. I mean,

I personally want to redo it again but

it's a... it's a Hollywood landmark.

- Really?

- Yeah. Tammy Wynette's manager died right in there.

- What?

- You ever been to Asia?

No, I've actually never left the

US before.

But I've seen

Niagara Falls from a distance,

which is sort of like going to

Canada.

Really?

You should go to Canada. People are...

they're nice, they're beautiful.

- Yeah?

- Yeah. You know what?

- What?

- Plan a trip.

To Canada?

I'd love

to plan a trip to Canada.

No. Plan a trip and I'll

take care of the expenses.

- What?

- Yeah.

Get out of here.

Richard.

The people in

Canada are beautiful.

That's, yeah, I mean, Richard, you might

be the most positive person I've ever met.

Oh, yeah. That's

'cause I work out a lot.

Oh, nice.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

- You want some?

- Oh, no, no.

- Sure?

- I'm good. Yeah.

- But here, watch me do a handstand.

- Yeah.

Okay, that was a

terrible handstand.

Richard. Richard. Richard.

Jesus.

Yeah, yeah,

he's breathing, he's breathing.

And what is your address?

Um, I don't know the address but it's

the corner of Doheny and Wilshire.

Okay. And who is he?

His name's Richard.

Richard who?

Richard...

Richard... I don't know what his last name

is. It's a Richard some... so please hurry.

We are

sending someone now.

Okay, thanks.

They tell me you're gonna be

fine.

Thank you for this. Thanks.

No way.

Thank you, sugar daddy.

I just don't get why you... you won't

let me meet her. Like, kids love me.

I'm glad that

you wanna meet her.

Well, then

let me meet her.

Just not quite yet.

She's four,

and I don't want to introduce

her to a guy unless it's serious.

Are we not serious?

You tell me.

Nolan!

- I crashed a bachelorette party! Boom!

- Whoo!

Hey. Hi.

Hi.

You must be Henrietta.

Yes, I must be, mustn't I?

Nice to meet

you. I'm Grace.

Oh.

Yes.

Is she okay?

Yeah, yeah, she's... she's great.

She is going to let you two date

each other into the night.

Bon voyage.

What's wrong with her?

Something weird? I

didn't notice anything.

"If you failed at doing so

with the Norton Phillips Company,

my whole life will have been

meaningless.

This is what you were born to

do. And this is why I'm..."

Assume you're

good to drive home?

Yeah, for sure.

Unless you

want to come with and drive me.

I mean, what, you had like two glasses

of wine, right? You should be good.

No, I mean,

unless you want to drive me and

come over to my place.

Violet is at my mom's.

Oh, um.

Yeah.

I don't...

Maybe not tonight.

Can... can we rain check?

- Okay.

- I'm sorry, I know this is...

No, it's... it's

cool. Goodnight.

Grace, I'm sorry. I'm... I'm... I'm

being a huge idiot right now, I'm sorry.

Of course,

I want to come over.

No,

you rain-checked, it's fine.

But...

I'll see you later.

- Hey.

I like the addition

to the ping-pong table.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, alright.

- It's about you.

Yeah. You know,

I'm kind of a jock.

I'm really good at

ping-pong.

Boom.

Can't sleep.

Yeah, me neither.

Grace is mad at me.

Well, I destroyed a bunch

of pink balloon flamingoes.

What? Why?

Seemed like a

good idea at the time.

Okay, alright.

Wanna play

with your balls?

Alright. Loser serves.

Hey.

That's you, right?

- No, you've the ball, just serve it.

- Okay.

Okay.

Loser.

Alright.

That was so in.

- What?

- It was your fault.

Do you even want to...

there you go.

That's what happens when you

just don't know how to play.

Oh my God,

stop attacking me.

I'm not attacking you, I'm trying to

show you how to... oh, hit your face!

I'm sorry, I should stop.

- I should just stop.

- You're not playing, are you?

What... what are you doing?

It's so aggressive!

Wow.

Do you know what to

do if there's an earthquake?

Oh, yeah, I have a kit.

What's in your kit?

It's got a bottle of water,

some rope,

a Taser gun,

a pair of socks.

That's it?

- Yeah.

- You're screwed. You're so screwed.

What?

You're stuck in a serial.

At least I have a kit.

Yep, touché.

So why are you

here at 2:00 AM?

'Cause I wanted to drink beer with my best

friend on the roof and 'cause you're a pack.

Oh, yeah, I'm glad you did.

Yeah.

Don't leave again.

Okay.

I missed you.

- I always miss you.

- Yeah.

It's nice to be here.

How's Ava?

Ava is good.

- Yeah?

- Yeah. I'm... I'm a little bored.

Really?

We've been together for,

you know, a while now

and, I don't know, I think I

just... maybe it's not her.

I just need something new to

happen, a change or something.

Hmm. Yeah.

Try killing your dad.

Mine's death really shook things

up for me.

- Henri.

- Is that... is that really dark?

Oh,

it's certainly dark, isn't it?

Well, if it makes you feel any

better, my dad don't...

like he doesn't even talk to me,

so it's probably not that different.

Yeah, I guess.

But at least you

can still talk to yours.

I can't exactly call mine up on

the phone.

You should.

Yeah.

It's Henrietta

Norton Phillips here.

Yeah, I used to perform at your

club quite a lot.

I'm looking for...

for some time.

I used to know Cathy,

I think.

Not the pretty one,

the other one.

Hi, it's Henrietta Norton

Phillips here.

I was told to call back Friday,

I did.

I was told to call back

Sunday, I did.

And I don't want to sound

needy or anything.

I'm totally available.

I really want to get a gig,

so please give me a call back.

Oh, hello there.

My friend who's an agent at your company sent

them my tape and I just wanted to know what...

well,

what happened with it really.

Alice Goodman?

Hello.

It's a nice residential area.

There's mostly families here.

Nice.

There's a yoga

studio down there.

- Oh, that's cool.

- Wow.

If you'd like to.

Oh, and the playground

part is perfect. Right?

Oh, you have kids?

No. I... I love swings.

She has a daughter, baby child.

Well, I'm gonna... I'll file your

paperwork and we'll get back to you.

Sounds great.

Thank you.

- Thank you so much.

- Thank you. Enjoy your day.

So, this is it, isn't it?

- The location is great. It was just renovated.

- Yeah.

And you're like five minutes from me.

It's like kind of perfect.

Yeah.

I don't know how I feel about the

crown molding in the living room.

Seriously?

Yeah.

Who cares about

the crown molding?

I do. I design houses.

Then redesign

the crown molding.

Yeah, it was like the closets

were strangely shaped, too.

That's another thing I'll

have to get over.

I give up, Nolan.

What?

Why won't you move out

of the Norton Phillips place?

I'm trying to. I just

haven't found the right place.

Yeah, you've been saying that

for months.

This is the right place.

And there were others that were

really great, too, and you just...

They weren't great.

None of them were great.

What was wrong

with the one in Echo Park?

The yard is

extremely asymmetrical.

I just don't get what all this

is about.

What is this about?

I don't know.

You're living in your dead boss' old house

pretending that you're gonna renovate the deck.

- I'm gonna renovate the deck.

- Whatever.

Do you understand how unstable

this all makes you sound?

More stable than the deck is.

Which is why I really need to

renovate it.

You're kind of

being a man-child.

That's fair.

So, I had a really great time.

So glad you're on Tinder.

Henri.

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah,

I'll be right over.

I just dropping off some files

at my office.

Okay.

Did you just lie to somebody on

the phone about having an office?

That I just picked you up

from a bar on a Tuesday morning?

Bitch!

Alice, is that you?

Henri. Hey. Are

you okay? You hurt?

I think that I

ruined it with Hunter.

Good. That guy's an asshole.

Is that it?

This is all about a guy?

I haven't been

funny since he died.

Henri.

Hey, you're always funny.

No, I don't feel very funny.

I haven't written anything.

Okay, okay, well,

you just need to...

to just write new things and...

and... and get back on stage.

Hey, it'll be fine, okay?

I'm actually thinking

of starting an app for girls like me

that matches you up with guys

that have no interest in dating.

- Hey.

- Hey. This box right here, it has your name on it.

Yes, it does. What is that?

Oh wow, I got you, yeah.

What have we got in here?

I don't know.

- Whoa! Looks like your dad gave me some hand-me-downs.

- Oh my God.

What is this?

No, I always told

him I wanted his jacket!

Well, actually it looks

really... that works for you.

- Oh yeah?

- Yeah, very Houdini.

Houdini.

Oh.

- It's a perfect fit?

- No.

Not my style,

you think? No? Alright.

Oh, yeah, here we go.

Hey, you are like the guy in the

movies,

you know the one that, like, didn't know

he was hot until he took his glasses off.

I don't wear glasses.

- Henrietta. Hi.

- Hi.

- Hey, Hunter.

- What's your name?

I'm Nolan. We went...

we went to college together.

You wore the light

up shoes, didn't you?

- Yep.

- Hmm.

I just stopped by to see if you

happened to come to my house last night

and, I don't know, destroy my lawn

flamingoes and puke in my bushes.

While you're out

with some other girl.

What?

I mean, I'm sorry, I really

didn't mean to cause trouble,

but I saw you out and

you were with another girl.

And you followed me home?

Are you fucking insane? What's

wrong with you?

Alright, I

think that's enough.

No, we went on one

date. You have serious issues.

Alright, she gets that

you're mad. Can you just go?

Um...

I like him.

I think I'm in

love with him.

Okay.

Look, I actually just came over to

tell you that I found an apartment.

Oh, cool.

- Yeah. So, I'm gonna be moving out.

- Cool. Um...

Um...

Is it... is it nice?

Yeah. No, it's great. It's... it's got

like most amazing crown molding, so.

Awesome.

I love crown molding.

Uh-huh. Hi, Sam.

Oh, no, I didn't mean to... oh,

you're married.

You're married now?

Okay, yeah, just call me back,

okay.

Hello?

It's Henri Norton

Phillips from college here.

It's so great to hear your

voice.

Oh.

Hello?

You like living in Nebraska?

How are you doing?

It's Henrietta.

Wait, you're a woman now?

Wait,

were you always a woman?

Hey, it's Henri. Are you in

LA?

Oh, I'll always be in LA.

And LA will always be in me.

How did we

first meet again?

I was trying to get with your roommate

freshman year, and she wasn't home.

Oh, yeah. But I

was home, right?

I saw your show on the CW. You

know the one with the monsters.

Mutants.

Yeah, Mutant High,

quarterback Russ Denton.

Poor kid has to traverse the

hard road of high school sports

while also being a mutant.

Wow.

I just now remember why we never

dated seriously.

It was because you were still in

love with your ex.

You were like obsessed with

her. Oh my God.

What? That's not true.

Yeah,

you wouldn't shut up about her.

Okay, if I recall,

you got obsessive.

I always wish we'd

talked more after our affair.

Oh, would you call hooking up after the college

production of The King and I an affair?

There's just something about you

that's always intrigued me, Henrietta.

"Henrietta, your thesis about

Cronus, God of time,

was somehow funny and

light-hearted.

You didn't seem to grasp the

goal of the assignment. C-minus."

Wasn't Cronus like the Greek God

who ate his own children?

He's a fairly dark...

Don't know. I didn't really get

to read that part of the book.

Brianna used to like books.

Dude, everyone likes books.

And the acting.

My emotional recall is...

Yeah.

You know, she'd go to a bookstore

or a library, and she...

she'd pick out a book.

- Yeah.

- And she... she'd take it home, you know, and she'd read it.

You sound like you're really

meant to be together.

She sounds

perfect for you.

- Oh my God.

- Yeah.

Just wait. When you least expect

it, that's when I'll be acting.

You don't have to do that.

I can become what a person needs

and wants the most,

anytime.

How are you feeling?

Well,

to be honest, I've been better.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

Tell me everything.

Putting everyone in

danger, hiding who you are.

Funny story about... about this...

this actor in the scene with me.

You're different.

- No training at all.

- Okay, I'm a mutant.

And I'm embarrassing, right.

It shows, you can tell. You can tell.

Sienna, wait.

Just like, I mean,

amateur hour on my show, nope.

Oh, yeah, what's up bro?

Yeah. My bad, guys.

- Never mind me.

- You've seen...

I'm not here.

Oh God, I'm

pretty tired actually.

Now, we have to duel.

- Can we rewind it? Where's the...

- About time.

Dude, we saw it...

we already saw it once.

No, I'd like to rewind it

though 'cause of that guy.

Hang on a second.

Hi. Hi.

You're welcome.

Yeah, no, I know.

That's what I've been saying.

You know, obviously,

he doesn't deserve you.

Look, you met him on a train in

India, just, look... I got to go.

- Hi, Ms. Norton Phillips.

- Hi.

- How are you doing?

- I'm good. Yeah, I've come to pick up some paperwork.

Right. Here it is.

Yeah, and whilst I'm here, I... I'm just gonna

go ahead and resign from the board, yeah.

- Oh.

- Yeah.

- My God.

- Yeah.

That's too

bad. Are you sure?

Yeah.

- Okay.

- You know I'm not cut out for it.

I don't have the right

degree for it.

So, that's like, that's the reason,

and it's about time I move back to London.

So, that's like there's

a reason, so.

Okay. Great.

Okay. Well,

we'll miss you in LA.

Thanks. I'm basically.

Okay. Good.

Henri Norton Phillips.

Terrance. Oh my God.

- How are you?

- You look amazing.

- Well, thank you. Come here.

- Yeah.

- Let's chat.

- Okay.

Come here.

Hi, sorry. Anyway, is the

sex really good or something?

Hey, I'm sorry, Terrance, for my weird

presentation and giving you alcohol.

It's just coffee.

I drank again,

Henri, you know.

Part of being sober is putting

yourself in tempting situations

and being stronger

than the urge to drink,

you know,

and I wasn't.

And that's my fault.

But I didn't go home and go on

some epic bender, okay?

I went back and I thought

about my life

and I thought

about the company

and I realized that it was

because of your presentation.

Watching you stand

in front of those people

and just talk all that nonsense

and like rambling craziness

you were doing,

it was inspirational.

It... it made me realize that I

do want to have a better year.

Wow.

And it was fun, you know.

- And I think fun is necessary sometimes.

- Yeah. Thank you. Wow.

Henri, I don't think

you should quit just yet.

Really?

I think that you have a future

here.

I don't know what it is,

but I think you can do some good here.

Thank you, Terrance.

I also think it might help if you

applied the old-fashioned way.

I know how to do that.

I mean, I want to do that.

Great. Well, then do it and come

back and see me when you're done.

But, you know,

I am carving wooden lizards now,

so if you're interested, I can

get you the info. I know a guy.

Um, can I...

- Yeah, absolutely.

- Yeah.

That makes sense. Look forward

to the resume.

Don't bring up the lizards, Terrance.

Please, no pictures.

I wasn't...

Just trying to be a

normal person here, dude.

Hey, look,

no one

was taking a picture.

It's not that, Henrietta.

It's... look, I'm sorry,

it's just that the limelight,

it makes it just so hard to go

on a date with a beautiful woman.

You... you are.

Okay, cool.

Scoot, scoot, scoot.

Here's our scoot.

But I'd like to work with

you on some on-camera stuff first.

Alice?

Jamison Lovett, repped by

BK and Talent.

Why you driving scoot?

I don't want to talk about it.

What kind of music do you like?

You want some water or hard candies?

Hey, look...

What are you doing? No.

So,

what happened to... to TAA?

Well, I still wasn't making

enough money

to pay my student loans or

my other bills

and there was so

much pressure for everyone like,

"Yeah, way to go, you did it.

Congrats, Alice."

I was like congrats on what?

I was a glorified intern and,

honestly, I was just really...

I was really bored.

So, I figured out I can make

more money elsewhere and I quit.

But Ava does not know.

She does not know that I'm

sneaking around at night

providing

rides for money.

I mean, it's not like you're cheating on her or anything.

What if, hypothetically,

I... I was dating other people,

I wasn't sleeping with them and... and...

and I'm not attracted to them at all,

but there is an emotional... an

emotional connection,

would that

be considered cheating?

Why would anyone do that?

What are you talking about?

- Okay, I don't know.

- Why would anybody do that?

No, I don't think so

because...

you sleeping with them

if you wanted to,

you just need to be less in to

them than they are to you, so.

- Who...

- What are you talking about?

- I don't know.

I don't want to talk about this

anymore.

- Can we just change the subject?

- It's just my opinion.

Okay, look, I'm sorry that I was so obnoxious

and insistent about the agent thing.

No, I'm sorry.

I should have been honest,

and you know I would have helped you in any way

that I could if I was still working there.

Oh, I love you, Alice.

Love you, too. I'm sorry.

Oh my God, so bored.

- It's okay.

- Can we... can we go? Could we get going?

Can you kick him out?

This is your stop,

dude. You're gonna have that...

- Three of us maybe hang out?

- No.

- You want me to go?

- Yes, please.

- Adios.

- I...

- I've known him since college.

- Since... oh my God.

- And can you give this to your... to your agents at TA...

- Your headshot?

I'm gonna tear it up.

Let's throw that shit out of the window.

No.

Nolan!

I'm applying for a job at

the Norton Phillips Company.

I'd say my chances

are pretty high

being the whole daughter of

the dead founder and all that.

But I'm applying the

old-fashioned way.

"I think you sometimes look too far

away for what is right in front of you."

- Henri.

- Whoa.

- Are you okay? Sorry.

- Hunter!

Here. Hey.

Yeah, yeah,

I'm fine, I'm fine.

You look upset.

Yeah, yeah,

actually I'm... I'm not.

We never said we were exclusive.

Henri, look, I think you could

be a great person potentially.

Thanks.

I really mean that. I

think you could be awesome.

I appreciate that.

You just have all

these quirks and things.

Is that a bad thing?

No, no, no, no, not at all,

not if you realize there are

ways to improve on who you are.

Hey, you want to improve, right?

"You want to

improve, right?"

Let's get

dinner tomorrow night.

Really?

Yeah?

Yeah. It'd be great.

I'll call you.

Thanks for coming in,

Henrietta.

First off, I want to emphasize

that we found your application

to be well written, very smart,

and extremely creative,

which is all very important to

us.

So, we would love to offer you a

position here.

Unfortunately, the competition

for this job was very high

and we did have to go

with someone else.

I'm so sorry.

Our hiring is actually based on

an application process

that was put in place by your father

himself and we do keep to that.

You're just not as qualified on

paper as we needed you to be.

You can still keep your position

on the board

where you don't even have to do

anything, best of both worlds.

Internet service is a lot like

my father.

It doesn't do what it

promises and then dies.

I guess

the thing about having an

emotionally unavailable father

is that you can't really call

him an absent father

because it's not like he hasn't

done anything for you,

I mean he's put a roof over your

head, he's sent you to school,

but he's not really there.

But when it really comes to it,

there's this coolness, like,

this... this... this kind of

distance.

He just never really

learned how to express himself.

And you're kind of like,

"Hey dad, I'm here."

And even if he did care,

he'd just never show up.

Even if he were still around,

this has clouded every

relationship in my life.

What?

Well, that was interesting.

Let's welcome to the stage our

next comic.

Hey, guys.

So, does anyone else just like

hate waiting in lines, right?

No, but seriously like I'm actually really worried

because of this

avocado shortage.

I mean, I don't even know if I

can even function without them.

I can't even.

- I'm a lesbian.

- So, what's up? What?

I'm a lesbian. I'm

not interested in men.

Why am I always

falling in love with lesbians?

What?

So, you want to watch that marathon with

that flying wizard boy from Dusseldorf?

Wait, wait,

wait, you're not mad?

Why would I be mad?

I don't... I don't know, I just...

I guess I assumed you'd be mad.

I told you I've made a lot of

mistakes in my life.

But I'm

done trying to force people

to be something that they're not

just to fit my needs.

I'm not gonna do that.

But if you don't start it now,

we're gonna miss the Prisoner of

Aquazar,

Aquaman, Aqua...

It's Azkaban.

Oh, it is.

Jeez.

So, it's really funny though.

And the guys' dorm room always

smelled so gross.

No, that was your dorm room that

smelled so bad.

Oh, man,

college, you were disgusting.

Oh, it's a really good song. Can you turn it up?

Yeah. Hey, sing,

I know you know that.

Oh no, I'm

not a good singer.

Seriously?

I just find it very

disrespectful to the musician

when people who can't keep a

tune sing over the artist's work.

Hey, the

musician isn't here.

♪ Tell me about tonight ♪

It also just ruins

the listening experience.

Wait, Henri.

Nolan.

Nolan, I know it's you,

I know you're in there.

Nolan, why are you showering in

my place?

I didn't think

you were home.

That really explains nothing.

Was there no hot water at your

place?

Yep.

Yeah, there's no hot water.

I can tell

you're lying.

Is it because of me?

Are you kidding?

You think I have nothing better to do

than just like hanging out and shower?

Then explain to me why

you're showering in my place.

I couldn't do it.

I couldn't move into that

apartment.

It didn't feel right

and I just...

I couldn't leave

this place yet.

Why not?

Your dad was important to me.

Like he was a big part of my life

all through college and, like,

and any success I had like I

really owe it to him.

And I feel like leaving this

house kind of,

I don't know,

made me feel like

that was gone.

I don't know. It's...

Yeah.

Well, I know

he really cared about you.

Look, saying this might not

matter right now,

but proving yourself to him was

the wrong goal.

I mean, who cares what your dad

or your boyfriend or me

or some old man at a comedy TV

show thinks about you.

Just think about what you

want.

Stay as long as

you want in the house.

Is there any toilet

paper out there?

Henri?

Some tea?

No, I'm more of a coffee

guy actually.

Want a Pop-Tart?

I've had a really bad week,

guys.

I didn't get hired at a

company that I own.

I mean seriously, how unqualified do you have to be

to like not get hired at a

place that you own?

I mean, it's basically like owning a house

and the pool guy and the maids

are like,

"I'm sorry, I don't think you

can live here anymore."

Seriously.

And technically, I could have told

her, "Do you know who I am?"

But, of course, she knows who I

am, right, a spoiled little shit.

Dad, it's Alice.

Alice. Hi. Is

everything okay?

Yeah, no,

everything's fine.

Do you want me

to put your mom on?

No, no, I was actually... I was

calling to talk to you.

Yeah, the... the car's... the

car's fine.

I was just, you know,

hoping you and I could talk

and catch up about some things.

Maybe, not right

now, Alice, another time.

Yeah, yeah,

another time.

Okay.

Bye.

I've never

gone hiking with you.

Henri.

- Hey, what's up?

- Thank God.

- What are you guys doing?

- Just eating my post-breakup feelings. How was your day?

Oh, you guys broke up?

Yeah, no, I just... I just wanted more time,

you know, devote to the deck renovating.

Yeah, when is

that gonna be finished?

I don't know. Soon.

What are you

guys watching?

Sunsets.

Class is about to start.

See you after sixth period?

Of course.

I think I need to go

back to my home planet.

I mean, we'll miss you but if

you think that's for the best.

I just think I've

done all I can here.

Maybe I

could come and visit.

Probably be really

busy with other stuff.

Later.

This is nice.

Yeah.

I don't remember this many

ants when I came here with dad.

No, yeah, people usually

don't remember stuff like ants.

Does that mean when we look back we're

not gonna remember the ants either?

Pretty sure all I'm

gonna remember is the ants.

I have to tell

you something.

Yeah?

There are literally ants

in my underwear right now.

Oh my God,

this is horrible.

Yeah, no, it is awful. Can we,

please. Let's just go. Let's go.

I've also started

seeing someone,

I mean like a real person,

not a stick pic.

So, I'm astounded at

how much free time I have

now that I'm not chasing the

approval of different men.

I'm actually

chasing my own approval.

Thanks so much, guys. You've been wonderful. Cheers. Bye.

Daddy Issues (2017) - full transcript