Dad (2021) - full transcript

(Subtitles translated by Shashlik_13)

"All memories in this film are simultanously real and fictional"
(Memories can not be documentary material, for they are coloured with emotions)

Victory!

Dad, when are you going to buy me a new toy?

What for?

We have so many of them.

So I can pick them up and play with them?

You can't pick them up.

Play as is.

Attention! Attention!

The plane's flight is delayed.



Bad weather.

I repeat.

Bad weather.

Dad, I can't...

- I feel queasy.
- You can.

Give it a kiss.

It is just a dead body.

Just don't flip the coffin

There you go. Good man.

(female crying)

Chop it.

I don't want to.

Do you want to eat?

No.



Well, I do. Chop it I said.

In life this will come in handy.

Max!

"Dad"

(honking from traffic for illegal overtake)

Yes, I know, I know.

"Dad"

Mom? Will grandfather sleep in our room?

Well, definitely not in ours.

(Narration)
"15 years ago I came to Moscow."

"Married, had children."

- (whispering) Dress it up!
- "Since then, Dad came to visit once"

".. for 15 minutes. And then went to Red
Square. "(in a whisper) Nastya, take it.

"To see Lenin."

(whispering) Smile. Congratule your Grandfather.

"Lenin was closed. Well, the Mausoleum."

"Dad quarreled with the honorary
guard, went home, "

"and said "He will never step foot into your lousy Moscow again." "

"I could barely convince
him to come for his 70th."

"or at least I thought I convinced him"

He didn’t fly in.

Why?

Didn’t want to, so didn’t.

I'm upset too.

- (child)
- I'm not

Why are you surprised?

Your dad is not the nicest person.
He calls Dima stupid.

Listen, he confuses "right" and "left".

That's Dad being nice.

Trust me, he's not capable of more than that.

Remember now?

This is my "right".

You sure you've remembered?

Alright, off you go.

So, to Dad?

Yulya, I'm going to go see him.

I'll leave now, be there by the evening.

We will hangout and tomorrow night I'll be home.

No.

What do you mean "no"?

Because we agreed
that HE is coming here.

We did not agree on anything else.

Well, he didn't come.

It's his birthday, 70 years!

What, he's going to sit there alone?

Oh, so we have to sit here alone with the children?

What's that got to do with it?

Because, Max!
I have been waiting for this weekend for a month!

Either you're at work, or something else.

You don't see the children at all.

Okay. Firstly, I see the children.

And, secondly, I work.

Exactly why I was looking forward to this weekend.

OK. Well, why don't we go together?

(thinking) "Come on, say no"
"Quick argument, and I will go myself."

You know what, Max...

let's go.

Why not? It's a great idea..

you, the kids...

8 hours in the car.

You'll finally get to meet them.

I don’t get your sarcasm.

Don't worry, you'll soon understand.

Okay, that's it. I'll be waiting in the car.

- Max!?
- What?!

The children!

They need to be fed, food packed
for the road, supplies from the pharmacy.

- Okay, I'll go to the pharmacy.
- No no no.

I will go to the pharmacy

and you feed the children. Start communicating with them.

And call the uh.. Nanny,
tell her to cancel for tomorrow.

I don't have her number.

It's okay, I'll send it to you.

Let her know that she will be
without 3,000 rubles.

Love you.

Bye bye.

(thinking) "Nanny."

"By that age, I was being left home alone"

"Fear - that's the best nanny."

Maksyush, remember,
do not open the door to anyone.

Okay?

Nobody at all. Got it?

Gypsies go from house to house

they deceive and kidnap children.

Got it?

(doorbell ringing, then knocking)

Max! Open up! Why have you locked yourself in?

Maxim! It's your mother!

- (knocking on the door)
- It's your parents!

(doorbell)

- (doorbell)
- Max, open up, can you hear me?

- (doorbell)
- Max, can you hear me?

Thank you.

(exhaling) I overate as always.

Well done. Go get ready.

Dimon, why are you sitting there, playing with your food?

Eat, come on! We're out of time.

I don't want it.

Well, you don't want chicken, what do you want?

What is this?

Udder. Cow tit.

Milk flows from it.

What are you grimacing at? Come on, drink it!

You'll be eating this all week.

I don't want it! It's not tasty.

And what?

Do you think mine is any better?

Try it.

Exactly!

And I drink it without issues.

(sharp exhale)

(mimics sharp exhale)

But that, is probably not the best combination.

CHAPTER 1
First hour, travelling well.

First hour. Travelling well.

- Dad.
- Mmmm?

Can you charge my phone?

- Nastya, I've got the GPS on.
- Perhaps a bit later?

Well damn!

When will you buy me a phone?

Never!

Because they love ME.

Okay. Children, enough is enough.

Let the specialist intervene.

Listen up kids

whoever will break my record in "Numbers",

I will buy a tablet

I'll do it.

Dimon, you're up.

You think it's all that simple?

Woah! The record is 2 million!

There you go, put in the effort.

Pedagogy is my specialty.

So is believing in miracles.

Set a timer. Let' see
how long it lasts.

(thinking) "Play and learning. Beautiful."

"And how did I learn to count without a tablet?"

Fourty seven.

Right.

Sixty three.

Right.

And here?

Five.

Again.

Five.

Five?

You sure about that?

One hundred and five.

No way!

Can you imagine.

Wrong answer - you walk the rest of the way.
Like we agreed.

- Hey, it's my turn!
- Back off, I haven't finished playing!

I said take turns!

She has been playing for an hour.

It's not my fault that you are so dumb
and you immediately lose.

Nast, Dim, that's enough.
- If you can't play civilised

give the tablet here. You will be without it.

Well, "The Great Pedagogue",
how will we continue to educate?

Well, let's discuss it.

Who spoiled them?

I'm at work all the time.

Really?

- Well, what?
- These are all your methods of education.

"Talk to them like adults."

"Take the tablet."
So they do what they want.

And what do you suggest?

Beat them like your father did you?

Don't give me that.

Dad didn't beat me.

Dad just stared at me.

Dad, can I go to the corner?

Stand right there.

Yours?!

I didn't mean it.

Wrong apartment.

Eww, what are you doing?

- Nastya!
- What are you doing?

That's it, you're finished!

- Nastya. Dim. Enough.
- Mom, take him away.

Let go!

- Enough.

- Max, stop the car.
- I can't stop here.

Stop it! That's enough!

- Leave me alone.
- Children, what were you told? Huh?

Take your hand away, Nastya!

Let go of eachother!

Max!

(inaudible)

- Nastya, are you okay?
- Fine.

I hit my head.

Let me see.

(inaudible)

- Max, calm down.
- How bad does it hurt?

F*****g hurts.

See, I'm telling you, we're out of options.

Max!

- Dimon!
- Now, you're definitely f****d

Nastya.

Dimon, open up.

Now you're making it worse.

OK, if that's how you want it.

Are you guys kidding me?!

Max, please calm down.

What "calm down"?! You want me to take part in education.
Now is the time!

Let it go, please! They get the point.

Dima,

If I ever hear that again, I'm washing your mouth out with soap.
Got it?!

Nastya - that counts for you too.

(thinking) "Yeah, sure you will."

"We'll get there and ask Grandpa to do it"

Got it?

Mhm!

Good!

That's it, wash up.

(Air hissing out of pipes)

You're siblings. You must
protect each other, not carry on like this.

I hope you understand.

That's all useless!

Max, what's useless?

It is useless to yell

and swing a belt!
And also, what is their fault?

That they're kids?
You're the one who almost...

killed us all.

Me?!

You're all driving me crazy!

Why did you even come with me?
I would be driving alone right now.

Oh, of course.

And I never doubted you.
YOU are separate and the FAMILY is separate.

God, I would have been back by the evening.

And straight back to work? As usual - right?

Yes, as usual. Because it is impossible to
work and sit with children at the same time.

- Oh really??
- Well apparently I'm wonder woman!

Max,

You just need to learn to prioritize.

Okay.

You're driving and I'm with children.

What? I have prioritized.

With pleasure! Mr Hysterical!

Me?!

What are you doing?

As always, doing everything myself.

I need a coffee.

We're going to the mall and you take the kids to the playground.
Let them run around for a while.

I don't understand anything at all.

That is your state of life.

"Where does childhood go?"

"into which mountains does it disappear?"

"And where do we find the way..."

"to get back there again?"

"It disappears without a sound"

"While the whole city sleeps"

"and it won't leave any letters"

"and unlikely will it call."

(chorus)
"And in winter and in summer".

"You hope for the miracle"

"that your childhood will be there"

"but it's not."

"In the white snowdrifts"

"and through the puddles by the stream" (honking)

"There will be someone running,
but it won't be me."

"Where does childhood go?"

"Where has it gone?"

"Perhaps, to a wonder land"

"Where every day is like a film"

Meet downstairs in an hour and a half.

- Ira, "an hour and a half?"
- We won't make it in time to Dad.

- It's okay. He'll wait.
- Children need to burn off some energy.

- Ira
- I said my piece.

Good job! You've pushed Mother to the edge.

Now we're all in trouble.

All because of Nastya.

I'm going to hit you again.

Listen up, children of Satan..

and one very cool guy.

We have very little time
therefore, I am offering a deal.

From now on you behave well.
And don't fight.

And I will buy each of you a toy.

Any! Consider it a 2nd New Year.

(noise of fireworks outside the window)

Okay, that's it. Enough.

We still need to celebrate the Old New Year (Jan 14th)

Well, fellow Russians!

Happy New Year!

Damnit.

Well done, well done.

And more, and more.

Once again.

And-now-into-a-circle

And in a circle we float, we float.

Well done.

And smile, girls.

And do not forget, use your magic!

Okay. We're spinning.

Dad, I forgot. Who am I suppose to be?

You are Yeltsin.

Tell your teacher so.

She will give you more candy.

Look at this, what a monster!

Let me see

Hmm. Not bad, yeah.

May I?

An excellent choice.

Semi-automatic magazine.

20 rounds per clip.

- Rapid rate of fire.
- 60 rounds per minute.

The firing distance is up to 20 meters.

Got it.

Come here.

On the shoulder. Here you go.

Look.

Back ... Forward ... Down.

Come on.

Shoot.

Yes. We will take it. Wrap it up.

(motor sound)

Well?

Will you take it?

Played enough?

We will think about it.

My god...

- Dad.

Give me the tablet.

You can see - we are not fighting.

Well, I can see.

But let's show your Mother
how well behaved you are. Okay?

Me first! Give it to me!

Dimon, are you stupid?

(whispering) Let go!

You've shown me?

Well done.

Mom, we'll take turns.

Dima can go first.

You'll take turns. But not to play, but to read.

She can go first then.

Okay, that's enough. Dima, you
wanted the tablet? So learn to read.

Nastya, put Harry Potter on for him.

Damn, that's a difficult book.

At least, it's for kids.

Gov-ern-ment

ar-my

of An-go-lia

cap-tur-ed

he-ad-quar-ters

of le-ader

U-NI-TA
(UNITA - Angolan political rebel party)

Jo-na-s

Sa-vim-bi
(Jonas Savimbi - founder of the party)

in

Hu...

Hu-am ...

bo.
(Huambo - a city in Angola)

That's it?

What, is that the whole newspaper?

Keep reading.

Du-ring

wa-r

con-flict

there were

kil-led

mo-r..

- more..
- What are you stuck on?

I don't know this number..

30 thousand men were killed

Come on, keep reading.

Thank you.

Dim, read it out loud.

Chapter five.

Ex-ple...

Ex-pe...

Expelliarmus

Why are you interfering? Huh?

Because you are slow.

What are you then?

I'm Nastya.

So, given up?

Now watch the results.

Look, I was acting according to the situation.

It's going to be fine.

Don't get rattled.

Let them go crazy. I'll sit and think of something.

You have to be more constructive.
You just have to come up with it out of blue.

I don't know, for example...

- There's a moose farm up the road. We will stop, let them run around.

Maybe a bit more thought?

Sure, you can think of something.

You've got a whole 8 minutes.

(thinking) "With 8 minutes, I can think of 8 ideas"

- So thought of anything?
- Why think of anything? We're already here!

Dimon, pass me my jacket.

Dim, Nastya, let's go.

So.

Water for you, carrots for moose.

They'll behave better.

Here, my dear.

Do it properly.

They're so happy.

As a child, I only saw animals in the market.

Seriously.

- Do you want to pet it?
- No!

Just kidding.

Let's go see the fish.

(doorbell)

Dim, what are you doing?

I feel hot.

Hold on, wait a sec.

I'll turn on the A/C.

Where are we?

- We are passing Nizhny. Just a little bit left.

Mom, I feel sick.

You don't look so good..

Give me your forehead

You're burning up.

Hey, when you bought water today,
was it definitely warm?

Warm. I think..

Definitely warm.

Hold on, Dima, just wait a little bit.

We'll get to the hospital.

God, Ira, don't overthink it. It's just a fever. Kids often have fever.

- Uhuh.
- We will just buy some aspirin.

We're so close. We'll get there fine.

Mom.

Yes, baby?

Oh god! Wait, hold on.

Hello.

- Hello.
- We need a doctor...

This way?
That way?

- Here, come fast.
- Ma'am, put on shoe covers.

Yes of course.

Nastya, let's go.

- Mom, I'll wait for you here.
- No.

Well, there is nothing to worry about.

Just regular cold. We will bring down the temperature
and he will be as good as new.

- Do we need to check the girl too?
- Wait, what about the blood?

Nosebleeds don't happen for no reason.

Of course not.

The young man just
needs to pick his nose less.

Isn't that right, Dim?

- Alright, medicine.
- Eww.

Don't worry, they are all for kids.

Tasty.

Let me have a look.

Strawberries with cream! Holy crap, Dimon.

It turns out as a child
I was tortured, not treated.

Bite.

I can't.

Bite through "I can't"

Open your mouth.

There! Good man!

Now the garlic.

Not in your mouth! In your nose.

Tough man!

Why are you crying?

- It hurts.
- "It hurts."

You call this "it hurts?"

THIS is "it hurts"!

Quiet! Suck it up.

Now all the bacteria will die.

Well done. Tough man!

Dad,

I will never ride a bike again.

You'll ride,

just don't fall.

Did you let any snot in there?

Nope.

Daddy, maybe let's not do a blood test?
Please.

- Dim, I'm on your side.
- It cost 2000 rubles

But your Mother and and I are worried about you.

But, dad, I'm not sick anymore.

- Like really really not sick?
- Yep.

Dimon, you might be able to fool Mom.

But it won't fly with Dad.
Seriously, I've tried.

Well, you know where the corner is.

Dad, it wasn't me.

It was a dog.

Well then, let's go to the hospital.

We'll have to do 40 shots to the stomach.

It wasn't a dog. It was me!

Can I go to the corner? Please..

Go.

Thanks Daddy!

You're always welcome, Max.

(shower noise)

(door squeak)

(knock on the window)

(door squeak)

(sarcastically) How they tortured you..

I am not talking to you.

Well now I know exactly how to calm
our children. We just have to hurt them.

- The blood test results will come tomorrow.
- You can come in or call.

We'll call. We're leaving now.

Leaving? Your child is sick.

He needs to stay overnight at least.

Ira, it's Dad's birthday today.

- You perfectly understand...
- No, I perfectly understand nothing.

He turned his back to the family himself.
Don't do the same.

Nastya, let's go.

Goodbye.

All the best.

HOTEL

- (children arguing)
- Let me out!

Let me out!

Let me out!

You don’t understand, I’m going to die!

I'm so sick of you!

Dim, come inside, you're sick.

She won't let me in!

Nastya, let him in, now!

Go ahead.

(metallic noise)

Brought the boy with me. Kids are the future after all.

- Well, why'd you stop?
- It's tight.

Don't worry, keep walking and it will loosen.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

I'm cold.

Don't worry.

If we don’t sell the cable
you'll be hungry too.

- Suck it up.
- (onlooker) Bloody crooks.

What? Go on, keep walking.

Max, we'll be waiting for you at the restaurant.

Let's go and eat. Yes?

The key.

(thinking)
"My first time in a restaurant was with dad"

"Well, I thought it was a restaurant."

Why aren't you eating anything?

I do not want anything.

No, you have to eat something. You hear me?

You definitely need to eat.

Yeah, Dima. Get your own plate,
otherwise she will give you all the veggies.

Do you know what this is?

Chicken Leg?

It's called "Chicken Kiev".

Here, take it.

Come on.

Try it.

I absolutely loved these as a kid.

Enjoy your meal, Max.

Dim,

What do you call this? Put it down.

Fork. Knife.

Hold it like this,

cut

a piece for yourself, like this.

I like it my way.

No, Dim. It's called...

etiquette.

You are from an intelligent family...

(loud tea slurping)

..partially.

(thinking) "Ah, etiquette!"

"I was also taught good table manners. "

I, for one, roast cabbage first.

- Ahh! That's what that is!
- And then into the soup.

And it becomes so rich.

Isn't it going to soften in the water?

- No?
- No. No no no.

You cut two tomatoes in there.

You can peel off the skin altogether like this,

to make them softer.

You can't imagine, how delicious it gets.

And then you can pour in the egg. Just one egg.

Until, you know, it all gets mixed in
...all the juice.

Dim, why aren't you eating?

I'm full.

Well no, you have to finish it.

It's full of vitamins, and you are sick. Come on.

- Here.
- Mom, I'm not a little kid.

Then eat it yourself, since you're not little kid.

Mmm, delicious.

If it tastes good to you, then you eat it.

One spoon for Mother.

One for Father.

I don't want it.

Max!

What is this? A joke to you?

You didn't eat for my grandma. And where is she now?

May she Rest in Peace.

CHAPTER 2
The Modern Family

(tablet game sounds)

Modern family.

Have you seen yourselves?

Nast'!

Nastya!

What?

Put your phone away, come here.

Mom, damn it, I'm playing a game!

Excellent.

Let's all play together.

For example ... the game 'Cities'.

Dad starts.

Nizhny Novgorod.

What is the point of this?

Nastya, the point is to spend time with your family.

Yes ... listen to your Mom.

Family is important.

Come on.

Nizhny Novgorod. You start with "D".

When you grow up, you'll remember
how you played this with your Dad.

(Excited laughter)

Dad, let's play hide and seek?

You promised.

- Alright, alright. I will start.
- Yay!

Oneee!

Twooo!

Threee!

Foooour!

Fiiiive!

I'm going to find you!

Ready or not, here I come!

(whispering) He-he-he-he.

Where could he be hiding?

I just can't find him!

Ah, geez, this guy Maxim!

Yaroslavl.

Already said!

Then Yalta. Nastya, you are on "A".

A.....hhhh, Kill me.

Dad, what the..?

Be careful what you wish for.

- Dad, what are you doing?
- Dad, let me shoot her too.

- Ouch!
- When you have your own children, you can shoot them.

Ouch!

This is what you get for everything
you've done in the car today.

Dad, damn it, why ?!

That's my blaster!

Not so sure about that.

Toys should be shared.

Especially with Dad.

How's it going, Mr Builder?

Fine.

Let me see...

Can you get by with one?

- Uhuh.
- Good man.

So, who wants the fish and who wants the horse?

- Horse.
- Hah.

Ouch!

It wasn't me.

Or me.

It was Dad!

Okay, that's it. Party's over.

Nastya? Naaast'!

Brush your teeth and go to bed, fast.

Whoever is last, cleans everything up.

Looks like you're last.

No thanks, sorry.

They come back, they clean it up.

I've done my share of "clean it up".

Dad, did you call me?

Called, yes.

So listen up, You-Nat.
(Young Naturalist)

Your little friends shat all over this?

You wash it.

Here.

Phew, I think they fell asleep finally.

- Max.
- Mmmm?

You did everything right.

I'm not sure.

But I'm sure.

You did everything right.

You have nothing to worry about.

Ira, what do you mean "nothing"?

I just brushed my teeth,

but didn’t wash my hands.

Dirty hands.

But my eye itches

and I can't scratch, because
I'm afraid to infect it.

Ira, I need you to scratch my eye.

Max can you for once talk seriously?

Ira, what's there to talk about?

All my life I wanted to be a good father.

Not like my Dad.

And what, what's the result?
Dima got sick.

We almost got into an accident.

Dad doesn't care about anyone but himself.

I'm calling him and he doesn't even pick up.

Max, listen.

Your father is a good man.

Well... yes, he can be harsh at times.

You're not always a perfect dad either.

Working all the time...

and when you come home,
the children are already asleep.

You barely see each other.

Even I don't see you anymore.

Are you trying to comfort me or what?

No. I just want to say that ...

you are a good father.

The same as your Dad.

And he loves you just the same
as you love your children.

Even when they're fighting

...or swearing.

Anyway, we will get there tomorrow
and everything will be okay.

(Urinating in the snow)

Didn't have enough?

Let me help.

(Urinates)

"MAX"

What do you think?

I wanted to write "MAMA"

Are you nuts?!

Mama is a saint!

You can't do that to her.

Come on, let's go.

Love you.

Me too.

(knock on the door)

Mom, Dad, Dima is farting!

- Oh come on!
- Do you hear me? I'm not sleeping in here!

It appears, we have disgusting children.

Can I sleep in here with you?

Forget it. Mom and Dad sleep here.

And Dad, by the way, also farts.

(thinking) "You can't even explain it to them."

"Or maybe you don't need to explain anything."

Max,

take a walk for an hour.

Mom and I have business.

How do I know when it's been "an hour"?

(doorbell)

Mom...

- I need to pee.
- Hold it, we'll go in and you can pee.

He's probably asleep.

(doorbell)

Max, stop it. He'll get mad.

Well, why isn't he coming to the door?

Maybe he's out?

Out where? It's 8AM.

Dad!

Batya!
(sound of neighbor door opening)

Hey, garage door!

What's with all the noise?

Hello, uncle Sash.

Max, is that you?

Oh man.

I didn't recognize you.

Yours?

- Hello.
- Hello.

Oops ... sorry.

- Uncle Sasha, Dad isn't answering.
- Do you know where he is?

He left.

Left where?

To work.

Work? He is 70.

So? He can't work all of a sudden?

You try living on the pension.

He got a job as a security guard at our factory.

Do you want the keys?

You have keys?

Well, of course?

Elderly people. At any moment can ...

(fssht!) and that's it.

This one.

- Thank you.
- Don't forget to return it later.

Of course.

Bloody Dad...

he sure knows how to add extra stress.

Keep going.

Keep it going, keep it going...

Stop.

Now walk over here.

That's what "Drunk" means.

Dad, I feel sick.

Yep, that's it...

(Max imitating the sound of an aircraft)

Goal! Another one! That's three!

Dad, look! I'm a pilot!

Max!

Pilots fly high.

...Dad?

High and quiet.

Highly responsible work.

CHAPTER 3
Here, children, is where I had my childhood.

Here, children, is where I had my childhood.

You say that everytime we come here.

Yeah...

This apartment is begging for a renovation.

Hire a team already, let them do it.

Ira, what team?

Do you not know him at all?

He won't even let them near the doorstep.

For him it's a matter of principle.

Come here.

Look.

This is for the hallway.

This is for the living room.

He put the old wallpaper here for some reason.

I bought these for him from the last visit.

He said that he would put them up in 2 weeks.
Yeah, right!

Good of him to at least let new furniture into the apartment.

(hair clipper noise)

Max, why didn't you tell me yesterday
you had school photos?

Mom knows how to do this.

(Electricity shutting off)

God damn it.

Great timing.

Might be better if you go to the store
while I clean up.

Of course. But you are aware,
that I'm not independent.

I need a list.

I'll send one now.

Dad, can we buy these?

Well... we have to now.

Seeing as you've been picking your nose with those hands.

Come on, give them here.

Ewww!

What "eww"? You lost the bait jar.

Now you have to hold them.

Squeeze your fingers,

or they'll scatter.

- Dad.
- Huh?

How much longer?

Hold on, mom will tell us what kind of cheese to get.

- Just take any.
- Hah, "any".

You can't get "any"!

We want your mother and I to stay married, right?

(thinking) "Dad did not give a damn about
what kind of cheese there was. "

Dad.

What?

I'm hungry.

Dad!

Here, have a candy.

What?!

I bought them myself last week.

That means you're not hungry.

Would you like one of our promotional items?

No thanks.

Tea, fish.. caramelized milk?

This is caramelized milk?

Caramelized milk needs to be boiled at home.

What?

You wanted caramelized milk?

There you go!

Just don't eat it from the floor.

Mmmmm!

What took so long?

They work at a bit of
a different pace here.

We have no time for anything. We need to set the table.
Nastya, you are helping me.

Alright, so. Table, table, table.

The table should be here. Dimon!

Alright. Dim. Listen up.

Go get the legs. They are behind the door.

Dibs! I want to put it together myself!

Alright, just do it quickly.

(thinking) "Good man, Dimon."

"I used to help dad too..."

Max!

Damn it.

I told you, don't get in the way!

You cold?

Well, did you find it?

No.

Well, get in there deeper!

Max, come on. Your hands are smaller.

Found it!

Well done. Give it here.

Wait.

Throw it in here.

Well since you're all wet...
you finish cleaning up.

Just wash your hands with soap after.

We've arrived!

- There you are.
- Thank you.

Don't mention it.

Oh, thank you, Volodenka.

As the saying goes, "Treat people the way,"

"you want to be treated"

- Am I right?
- Yes Yes.

Well there you go.

All the best!

Goodbye!

Max!

My God!

You need to hang on back there!

Come here.

You carry the pumpkin.

Understood.

You're on break for now.

Mom, Nastya,

check out the work.

It was always wobbly.

Mmmm, I'm very proud of you.

If you can also find a tablecloth,
then you'll be priceless!

- Alright so. Tablecloth, tablecloth.
- Nastya, look over there.

There are only books and vodka.

Wow! These are books?

No, these aren't books.

What is it?

This, children, is the best thing
I had in my childhood.

- No choice! Byshovets must be replaced!
- ( Byshovets - coach of football team)

- Why?
- Because,

because he can't handle anything.

- Sadyrin will do better!
(Sadyrin P.F. - coach of the national football team)

Look:

Zenith improved, CSKA improved,
(football clubs)

If necessary, he will drive these into the stall,
and they will go smoothly, and then they will play good too.

- There are no others! Who else?
- Max,

you want some beer?

Wait. What beer? He is 7.

Te-he.

What's up, Max?

(whispering) The cartoons ended...

And?

Well...

And then after there was a man and a woman.. naked..

And, you didn't like it?

Well...

I did.

Well then, go and watch.

Alright, go on.

Two feasts in two days.

This is what you'll see from me
for the first and final time.

Why?

Because your mother is leaving us
for another man.

No thanks. I cannot handle another family.

- Ira, you are fantastic.
- Thank you so much.

Dad will definitely appreciate this.

He always loved feasts.

"But mom couldn't stand it, and left him. "

Oh! Max.

Out for a walk?

Well, I'm all walked out.

Here, have 10 rubles.

Nevermind, don't have it!

I will owe you.

Stay outside for now.

Max.

You like it?

Mhm.

Professor!

- Yeah?
- Wake up.

Let's have another one for the women.

Ah no, Volodya, I don't really feel like it.
I'm gonna go.

- Where are you going to go? Come on, come on!
- Oh! Heh. Max!

Great to see you!

That's how it is, first love.

They leave fast.

Good boy.

- Ira
- Yeah?

Dad is coming.

Well let's get ready. Nastya!

- Nastya!
- What?

Grandpa is coming. Come on.

Put it on. Put it on.

Let's go. Quick.

(whispering) Aaaand, three-four!

HAPPY-BIRTH-DAYYYYY!

Wooooooo! (Applause)

F*****g hell...

What are you doing here?

Hi, Dad.

As you can see, we have arrived.

Happy 70th. Here's a gift.

Who will sweep all of this now?

Also a gift?

Max.

"Hello son. Hello grandchildren."

- Children, let's go.
- "I am so glad that you came."

Is it so hard to say, just once,
something pleasant when you meet us?

In order for people to "meet" you,
you need to mention it beforehand.

Instead of yelling in their faces.

I'm not twenty years old.

I could've dropped dead right in front of the kids just now.

That would have been a hell of a "Birthday"

Let me through.

You're not going anywhere
until we talk.

Max,

What's with the "bold" tone of conversation?

You want a slipper across your ass?

Slipper across the ass? No.

But to talk - yes.

Listen, I'm not a child anymore.
My testicles are grey too.

But I don't understand why I
I become like this with you.

Seriously. Like I'm trying to prove something to you.

Prove that ...
I am the same as you. But,

you know, dad, we are different people.

I don't even know if we have anything in common at all.

You were for me ...

the center of the world, the center of everything!

My number one! I've always looked up to you.

You wanted to make a man out of me. Strong.

Tough. Like you.

But, really, you're not tough.

You're indifferent.

You didn't care; where I was,

what I was interested in, what I was reading.

Maybe you just didn't need me?

Max.

- The time was like that.
- Like what?

- Tough!
- To hell with tough, I'm your son!

I want you to tell me you love me.

So go, at least tell it to your grandchildren.
It is important to them.

It is important for them to know that
their grandfather loves them.

You're the only grandfather in their life.

Just go play with your grandchildren.

I'll clean everything up.

Let me go.

- Okay. Finish eating.
- Get ready and let's go.

What happened?

Unfortunately, nothing.

Everything is the same as always.

Can you drive?

Dimka?

Nastyukha?

Why are you sitting?

Come on, come here!
I have a present for you too.

Come on, come on. Quickly.

Come on.

Look.

One two three!

Look at that, shit all.

Because my pension is 8000.

What are these pretty strings you have?

These are not strings, these are braids.

- Afro braids.
- "Afro braaaaidss".

Grandpa,

Can I take this boat home?

- What a tricky one!
- Did you bring your grandfather a present?

Nastya, where is the gift?

- Come on, come on, come on, run, run.
- I will help.

Quick.

Come on, pour me too.

I won't be able to keep up
with them if I'm sober.

Look, Max.

Don't whine.

You get me?

Come on, come here.

I love you too.

And that's that.

Don't whine.

You had a wonderful childhood.

The best, dad!

Let's go have a smoke.

I do not smoke.

I don’t smoke either. Come on, let's go.

Let's go.

Come on.

No, dad, you go.

Come on, come on, come on.

Dad, I'm sorry I got sick.

Max, be quiet.

Try it.

That means we need a third one!

What are you looking at?

We're going to keep trying until it fits!

- Dad.
- We're out of toilet paper.

Here.

Thank you.

Open up!

Some man is chasing me!

Open up!

Who is chasing?

Maxim, what happened? What man?

Howdy, Sanya.

When are you giving me back my 10 rubles?

Volodya,

uhhmm.. let's discuss tomorrow.. I have a thing..

Let's discuss it today.

Alright stop crying.

I just twisted your ear.
Now uncle Sasha will give us some allowance for candies.

Put out the fire!

Toss it! Toss it! Toss it!

- (whistle)
- Max!

Where are your pissed pants?
Your mother will wash them.

Ha-ha piss pants!

What are you laughing at? I was just saying it... metaphorically.

Here.

Mom said that
apples should always be washed.

I don't like any of them.

They don't even have your size.

Well, good. We'll take these for you to grow into.

Let's go.

The clock struck,

On schedule for lunch.

We go in line,

and a cheerful hazer (experienced soldier) is ahead.

And you are a young kid,

you served only a year.

You are entitled to

nothing but oxygen.

Stop stop stop greeny (unexperienced soldiers)
don't grab a spoon,

One, two, you sit down.

First, let the hazer take it first.

Learn, kid,

for you to get the butter first

you've got till fall to serve.

(complete silence)