DTF (2020) - full transcript

Right, here he is.

Yo, yo, yo.

Good flight, mate?

So you got this
date lined up or what?

Probably dreaming a bit
that we're going to find love,

but we're certainly
not going to find anything

if I've got a camera
spying in on your date.

It's just literally going to be

asking how it's going every...

Yeah, I don't think that's
possible to be honest.

What do you reckon?



You alright
putting the airline badge

on camera for you, yeah?

You've hidden it already?

So, so this would be
the regular occurrence?

You'd come and start swiping even
though you've already organized a date?

Is that how it's working?

Do you just use Tinder?

The idea is obviously
to find you a life partner,

and you're wearing that shirt.

Well, that's... I was
going to ask that question.

Is there that thing or?

Come on then,
let's go and get changed.

Fingers crossed this works.

- We want to be part of it.
- We're following an airline pilot



- looking for love on Tinder.
- Love on Tinder?

- No, I'm not, no.
- 'Cause I haven't found love on any website,

so I don't trust any of them.
None of them.

You're looking for love
in the wrong places.

Who we trying to find love?

He's in
the bar on a date now.

- Well let's go.
- Yeah, let's go find him.

Let's go help him find love.

- Let's help him find...
- You think he can handle this though?

How old is he?

He's, um, nearly 40.

He's Scandinavian.

Have you not heard
the horror stories?

You have him in there on Tinder,

did you not hear all
the horror stories on Tinder?

- There's a few.
- Come on, guys.

There's like a lot of horror stories.

There's even one
about the like crabs.

Crabs?

You having a chat?

No, no, we'll definitely
be coming over to chat.

So we've just been talking
about Tinder with some girls.

Yeah, so.
I'll leave you to it.

So far so good?

So, as you can see
it's actually gone dark

and it's gone a bit cold,

and we're still
waiting around, and they

still seem to be
enjoying themselves.

Shall we go over
and talk to her or?

I dunno. She said she wasn't
that keen on talking, I think,

but she's swiping right
on Tinder, she sat swiping.

We're feeling quite weird, yeah.

How many beers have you
already had by the way?

Fuck sake.

The arm, the arms across.

I'm obviously not used to, um,

just following a couple around.

Are you coming back with us or?

I know, we are,
we're just going to go back now,

we maybe thought
we'd just turn it back on.

Right, okay.

That's cool.

Nice to meet you anyway.

He's romanced her.

Morning, how you doing?

What do you reckon then,
reckon we...

Come on, though,
we don't have to have them on obviously.

Right okay, shoot from
a distance, yeah?

Yeah.

What she literally said like-?

Can I,
I don't know your code man.

Right, sweet man.

I'm surprised you're not

completely hungover
to be quite honest, but-

I'm liking it,
good start, good start.

Way, did it again!

She was obviously a little bit
hesitant last night as well but,

he obviously likes her
'cause he's making the effort.

They look happy enough.

Happy couple, we cracked it.

Tinder has found love.

Still talking, they've not walked
off into the sunset as yet.

What's going on?
He's going to tell us to piss off

here I reckon, 'cause
she doesn't want cameras.

Which is fine, that's cool.

If that's the case.

You alright, mate? Let me guess,
she doesn't want the cameras.

We'll do one if you want.

What the fuck?

Where are you going?

That's why
I'm ringing you, mate.

Well I've just been on the
laptop for the last few hours.

Seems like she
was involved in some...

It's fucking ridiculous
this, mate, this madness.

She was involved in some porn
scandal a fair few years ago.

- Umm.
- Right okay.

I don't know
where to go with this.

Obviously I'm coming
at it from

not only the documentary angle,

but also from a personal angle.

I mean he's obviously not going

to speak to
camera at the minute.

Yeah, I mean obviously I can,

I'll try to
speak to him tomorrow.

I think in terms of, if you're
thinking about investment, then I mean,

I've been obviously thinking about
this all day pretty much now.

Umm, if we want to,

even try and set up
some interview with Tinder.

I know you've spoke to them.

Pretty much what we expected
so we literally

couldn't get past
the security guard.

We needed the appointment.

I mentioned the girl's name.

We have to take the stance
of asking them pretty much

what their take is,
their responsibility

in terms of things like this.

We're just waiting on to

kind of get tested but
we've come to the agreement that

this is a bit
of a hiatus really.

We're still going
to follow him for now,

but he's basically
not going to be meeting

any girls off
Tinder or anything like that

for obvious reasons.

So, to be honest this
is just an exercise of

going and having
a little bit of fun with him.

I used to do like
sex tours all the time,

now I do more like craft beer
and like street tacos.

So apparently these are called
Wankers for culture gurus.

Classic, yeah.

Well, all these
have had a wanker.

- So do people use Tinder in Tijuana?
- Yeah.

- They do?
- Yeah, I actually just deleted it last week.

Right okay. What's
your experience of it?

Yeah, I met my ex-girlfriend

from five years ago
through there.

- Really?
- And she was a model, she was like,

I can't believe we dated.

I use Instagram to get dates
more than Tinder or...

We're not using Tinder though
at the moment.

Hey, hey!

Best boys, best boys.

You know what
we talked about, man.

- Let's get a beer.
- Yeah.

Alright,
cameras down for a second,

and they agreed
that they're going to

- let us film in a corner.
- Okay, yeah, yeah.

And then maybe like
one of the girls will...

I think the fact that people can get anything
they want, you know, at their fingertips.

It's sort of taking the mystique

of when you find someone
special 'cause you go,

"Well like, yeah they're special,
but there's another special person."

I want to talk about more of the responsibility
of being a pilot and what you...

Okay.

Obviously when
you're away on this downtime

that we're following you on.

What about the drinking?

How can you explain
that in terms of you go out,

and you're
getting smashed out your face

and then you're
flying back and...

But again that doesn't, well-

But that's reckless
and you're in a job that,

you make a mistake, you
obviously make more mistakes...

It's baffling that you've
almost got two personalities,

in a sense that,
the consummate professional...

So you're saying the culture

has turned you into this?

So you're actually
blaming the profession?

Whether you're
single or married or?

Well, I've got to
be honest I'm seeing

a different
that the one I know.

Right okay,
I think we've probably

taken it as far
as we can in terms of...

I don't...
To be honest I don't know why,

every time we talk, you
have to take it to that level.

Sorry, I'm Al, the director.

So we're
following this young man.

- Hi.
- We'll try and stay away from-

I really
enjoy just sort of sitting,

but at a really sort
of busy junction sometimes

and watch people,
you know. Yeah.

Do you like, do you
think you like doing that or?

There's a minibus
that goes up there.

I don't like getting...
I do but not when I'm working.

How's it going so far?

- This is weird.
- It's alright.

You're a charmer.
We've not seen this side of him yet.

So if you want, I'll just
leave you basically like I said,

and we'll catch up after you've been-
well, what you're doing?

Yeah, that's what we said.

- And then food?
- Yeah.

Nothing too cliched then?

Yeah, yep.
I'm OK.

Right, I'll
leave you to it again.

I feel like Cilla Black.

This just seems like
he's doing this to torture you.

Have a good time.

Have a good time.

He's not even looked back at us.
Brilliant.

Do you want to,
how'd it go, alright?

We may as well get the nice view in when
I'm going to ask you about your date.

Okay, yes.

- Any good?
- Mhm. Yeah.

- Getting on alright?
- Yeah.

Am I like asking too
many questions already?

Okay.

Okay, we'll give it...
We'll meet you back at the ferry, yeah?

There we go.

I didn't really
ask them any questions.

So how did the date go?

It's all finished now.

Restaurant, cinema.
Any more?

Funny you should
say that actually.

What we've been doing
is we've been dancing.

We've actually been,
look at this.

Hare Krishna.

It cost me seven quid
but it was good, man.

So we're all good, yeah?

Good date?

Seems like a winner.

Yeah, we're good with that.

Happy?

We'll catch up later on.

I was going to say see what you really
think then, that sounds terrible.

Yeah, yeah we'll leave you be.

Okay cool, leave them again.

- Don't you like it?
- No.

I reckon that went pretty well.

Arm in arm.

It might be job done
in Hong Kong, boys.

He's saying "see you"
to her now.

Ah, it's a little...
that was a real kissy kiss kiss.

It wasn't
a romantic kiss, was it really?

You reckon?
That was a gentleman kiss.

Yeah?

Come on, cheer up.

So do you want to talk to camera
about how you feel or?

No? Sure?

How you feeling?
Talk in the morning, yeah?

I'll give you a bell in the morning.
We'll do a speaker phone in the morning

if you don't want to talk now.

Where are you, man?

What?

Why?

Well, where are you now?

What?

Right, but where are you?

Right okay, where are you?

Up the tram?

What's that mean?

Up the fucking top
of the mountain thing?

Right are you
waiting there for us?

Right, not just me yeah.

Right, so when we get up
there, just stay back, yeah.

He's there, just stay,
just stay in behind here.

Stay behind there, Rob.

So, it looks like the date from last
night has thrown him a little bit.

Obviously we were really chuffed that he'd got
on with the girl, but I think it's brought back

memories of Charlotte and
obviously this has happened.

He's got pissed
after we left him and

he's ended up like this so...
He wants the end of it here.

We'll just get him
back to the hotel.

Get something to eat, get him to
bed and then home in the morning.

Quite a few of the matches.

Got chatting, getting
to know these women and then

they'd ask, "What's your
background," and blah de blah.

So I'd say I was a widow
and where are half of them?

You just didn't hear from them.

The captain speaking.

Taking the piss out
of us on here as well.

Yeah, so San Diego,
see you there hopefully.

Bullshit.

Let's have a look then.

So obviously we're covering
this documentary on.

Looking for love on
Tinder around the world.

What's your
experience of using the app?

I think it's easy to
build a story in your head

either positive or negative
before you meet the person.

And a lot of times on paper
it might be a good match,

but when you meet in person
there's not a spark or a chemistry,

and I think when I meet
someone in person,

sometimes they may not
be quote, unquote my type.

But I'm more likely to date that
person because there's a feeling there.

I've said it
a million times before but,

I feel like David Attenborough.

This whole not encroaching on

the dates ain't
half boring anyway.

Stood here for about
God knows how long now.

Fucking hell, we've been
stood here that's probably why.

Loitering around
for close to four hours.

I mean she's going to
be absolutely paralytic.

I don't know
where he's taking us,

but I'm starting
to get a bit worried.

Anyway, he's still not getting back
to me on the text, so fuck him.

So apparently
he's at the Hard Rock

on the roof end they dick I you.

He's obviously
fucking absolutely smashed,

but the worrying thing is,
to be honest, is he's driven.

Let's get you
fucking out of here.

No one wants to see this.

We're going to get an Uber.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Are you fucked?

Yeah, you alright?

You don't fucking look alright.

You're better standing up, mate.

I think we're a long way from.

I still want to do it, I think there's
still something interesting here.

But you've just
got to be aware it's

a completely
different documentary now.

Completely different
subject matter in my opinion,

you know, what we
might craft out of this.

But you've got to be aware what

we might craft
out of this, isn't what,

you know the whole
objective of finding love

it's becoming apparent that
it could be absolute bullshit.

And I'm sure there are people out there.
I'd probably like to find

those people at some point to
try and get the other side of it,

get a bit of
a more balanced documentary,

but at the minute.

You know full well
what we've got.

That's my other issue I don't.

Yeah, obviously.

You feeling better?

But seriously and all, you
know, this can't happen again.

This is
last chance saloon, mate.

Dickhead, oh fuck it.

Can't lie, mate, I...

could do with a bit
of sleep, to be honest.

Wish it was mine,
what about money?

Well no, not for you.

This money and documentary is becoming
mine, so just so we know that.

When do you get
some sleep actually?

That's quite
interesting in terms of...

This is really reassuring me
with my fear of flying.

This makes me
not want to fly back.

Can you get a boat?

- So meeting this date?
- Yeah.

And then?

Where is he?

I can't believe it's raining.

Here he is.

I don't know whether
they're going to be able to.

So where's this Tinder date?

I dunno, the one
you're supposed to be meeting?

We've been stood here
an hour, we've still not...

It's raining, what's the plan?

We're not finding you a girl?

So what you trying to say?

Yeah all right, lead the way.

Say cheers to the camera.
Come on then, cheers to finding love.

Cheers.

To finding love.

Why would you say that?

Yeah, we've got an airline pilot
somewhere that's

looking for love
on Tinder, there he is.

Right, he's coming over.

What the fuck is that?

Nah, come on, no.

No, man. It's not fucking Ayia Napa
uncovered, mate, what the fuck.

Come on.
I'll do it to you.

We ain't finding
any future wife here.

She told you to fuck off,
I'm not surprised, mate.

Call it a night tonight.
We're all a bit knackered, mate.

I really want to go to bed now.

All what?

Nice racially torn
fucking joke there but, yeah.

What about some food,
you want some food?

Definitely not going
to this strip club then.

That's 100 % guaranteed.

There you go. Right we're
going to bed then yeah?

Alright, dickhead.

You do what you want yeah?

So what the hell,
what are we doing here, mate?

What the fucking
hell's Nanny day?

You serious?

You think that's fucking normal?

Right, go on yeah, come on.

I'm not even sure,
should we cover this?

Shall we do it?

Should we do it?

You want me to follow him?

Come on then, yeah.

I'm not understanding the Nanny
Day reference though, I mean?

So you're
basically a sexual predator

on a fucking
Sunday in Hong Kong.

Is that what
you're kind of saying?

Well this is
maybe where you want to use

Tinder rather than
doing this deprived shit.

Well the point is we're supposed to
be using Tinder, mate not trying to...

Well, I'm not comfortable with
you fucking picking on...

Fuck nah, fuck it.

Keep fucking
rolling, whatever, man.

I don't want any part
in this to be honest, mate.

No, well you can go
back to Wan Chai, but yeah.

The ridiculousness
of this morning is...

We can't not reference it
and I think when we were

trying to speak
to the pilots last night,

we couldn't get
any of them on camera,

but it seems to be
a problem in terms of...

I want to say
the industry, really,

in terms of this sexual
addiction and why they do it.

I mean I... What do you say
to what we've just seen?

Fucking hell, he's
coming over now, here you go.

I almost want to go in there
and talk to the girls that,

but again it's not,
it's not the documentary.

I'm really at a loss with
where I want to take this now.

Now this has turned into
not finding love on Tinder.

It's basically...

You've got some kind of addiction
and it needs addressing.

I think your pilot
should look on eHarmony.

Yeah.

- Or my daughter.
- Or your daughter.

She's a flight attendant,
she'd get it, you know?

So I think maybe flight attendants,
I don't know this for a fact,

but maybe flight attendants
won't date pilots

because they have
a love in every port, I hear.

That's what
we're finding out, yeah.

Right, so maybe he won't
find love until he retires.

Barely hear this.

Hello.
Mate where are you?

We've been driving around
arrivals about four times.

Say again.

You're on
the way to Palm Springs?

Why on Earth Palm Springs?

Yeah you've
said that but what's.

So we're going all the way there.
Have you got anything lined up?

Right, well send us
all the details, mate.

Yeah, yeah, see you in a bit,
bye, bye. What the fuck?

Yeah, cheers for that.

You've got company already.

Tinder date?

Right okay,
going to introduce us?

Hi, you alright?

So Neil wants
you to go to the Zoo.

He's pissed off 'cause
he organized all that so.

Alright, then we'll...

I'll see what
Neil wants us to do.

Chased all the way over to Palm Springs
to be shipped out straight away.

So he's got
a girl in there at least.

God knows who she is
but we shall see.

So the zoo, here we go.

Neil wanted to spend at
least a couple of hours here.

I know but Neil's worried that

every time we
go anywhere it's kind of

drinks and then
lots and lots of shagging.

You having a laugh?

Wow.

You came here earlier?

Marvelous, lead the way.

Jesus Christ.

He's absolutely off his face.

Wow.

Okay, that was, uhm...

a bit scary.

But he's going to be alright.

He's got severe dehydration

so they're gonna
keep him over night.

Just another example of
mental stability, to be honest.

We all need to get to bed now.
See what the morning brings.

Initially
obviously we had a big scare.

Yeah, in LA.

And my first thought was, you know,
how is this monitored for sake.

Now it's actually apparent that
the way things are going,

we should be
worried about.

We obviously can't get the interview
with Tinder for obvious reasons,

they've not seen any of the footage yet,
and that's perfectly understandable.

Going back to yesterday
and last night.

And I know where you and the guys
want to take the documentary,

and obviously we can't have this,
getting pissed and shagging,

but I think the Zoo idea
was the wrong way to go.

In the case of...

I'd always told Christian,
we won't, which we haven't.

- We haven't got involved with any date.
- No.

But yesterday he flipped.

And obviously he's in
a state of mind where

it's difficult for me
as the filmmaker and

as a friend, to kind of
keep a tab on it.

And we're all getting
kind of dragged on...

And obviously
I'm looking like a plank.

- Yeah, I mean...
- Only... And he's almost purposely doing it.

But I think
he has got major issues,

and I think the more
we kind of tamper with it,

the worse it's going to go if we start messing
around with scenarios that are not...

Okay, well I mean,
we just wanted

something more visual with the zoo and
obviously having had it set up in LA

which he knew about.
We wanted to try and continue that.

Honestly last night, I have
never, I mean I've never even been

talking about drugs before.

- OK.
- But it was, it was bizarre.

Obviously we took him in last
night and most.

Is he going to be able
to do the bangers thing?

Well, I dunno, maybe.

You think it could help him though?
I mean, for me it...

No, I personally think
it's gonna feed the...

I know what you're saying and I
completely understand that, if it's...

- Is it...
- Giving him an alternative when he's on his downtime

to actually... rather than
sleep with random girls,

he can actually do it
just in the bedroom.

It's a lot safer, and that's
that. So I get that.

But I think it's almost, it's gonna
feed the addiction rather than wean it.

- He's checked himself out, by the way.
- Right okay, brilliant.

He's back in his room
so we'll go find out

and see if he's up for
this virtual reality interview.

It's me.

You look
fucking like death again.

You checked yourself out?

No, you checked yourself out,
you're alright.

Have you got nowt on?

'Cause we've set up this
interview back in LA at lunch.

It's literally
quarter to nine now, mate.

Yeah, give you 15 minutes,
and we'll come back, yeah

Then we'll head out,
you cool with that?

Heading back out
in 15 minutes, we're...

Sort yourself out
and we'll be back.

We're here to
do the interview for the

I never thought, I'd actually be doing an
interview with a virtual reality porn company.

Wouldn't it be cool
to create something new,

something that
nobody has ever created before?

And that's when we came up
with the idea of making VR porn.

What we're looking at today is
an idea to stop adultery or sex,

you know, obviously we're
working with

and we found out
that you know point,

elements of him
always looking for sex

and if there's something else that
he can use that isn't in reality.

Is that something that you look
at as a company and wanting to do?

We wanted to
make something interesting

- so there is a possibility to actually even feeling sex.
- Yep.

So there is different devices

- that you can actually purchase and you can connect and make...
- Right.

...a more interactive way
of feeling the VR porn videos.

So can we see it? No, obviously we want
to we're, is all downtown in Vegas

next week for his schedule and obviously
we're wanting to do something there

while we're out and about.
Is there anything we can...

Yeah definitely we can
test it out, one second.

Sure you don't want to test it?

You going to wait till...

You want me to do it?

Feeling ropey?

We've just come
back from Palm Springs.

Yeah.

- You out partying?
- I knew that'd happen, yeah.

We've had a fair
few issues along the way.

Oh yeah?

What you want,
straight, gay, transsexual?

What do you think

- Whatever makes you happy.
- I wouldn't know what I should see.

- So you can choose from any of...
- Any of those - ...those movies that we shot.

So I'm gonna get
judged on what I'm picking.

OK, this is where
I wish had done it.

So she'll do anything
to get herself out of jail.

So? Oh, hang on a minute.
Right okay.

I just.

Right, alright okay.

That's pretty real.

Right okay.

So with the side of people traveling
away from their wives etcetera,

could you film having sex
with your wife

and then you would
have it when you went away.

Is that a possibility with the
technology, or would that be...

We actually made one experience
where you wear a headset,

your wife or girlfriend
wears a headset

and you both
see different people.

Right okay.

- To just kind of spice things up.
- Yeah, yeah.

It actually reduces cheating.

That was an eye opener.
To say the least.

How you feeling?

I like how I had to
do that rather than you.

So this is the first time I've
shared a room with him on this trip, so...

Taking my life
into my own hands.

We're coming for feedback.

Well, how else are you
supposed to do it?

Well, I didn't show you but...

Well, that's the idea.
Why, what...

The what?

What the actual fuck?

Taking bets what
he comes out with?

He didn't have to... oh, ey-up.

What the fuck?

You are fucking kidding me?

A lot of people were doing
dolls then. Nath threw a...

Shut it off, Nath.

Right okay.

So right, we'll go back
and we'll see if this sorts you.

On all serious note
we're trying to...

We're trying to genuinely...

Okay.

Right okay.

No I don't want,
that's not gonna sort your problems out.

- This may well.
- You know.

Who said gimp mask? Whoever said
gimp mask was fucking well off.

Just drive, man.

Right, okay.
Yeah, yeah.

I definitely don't. We're gonna leave
you to it for at least 30 seconds.

We're not waiting here. You're all
looking at me like why are we here.

You're having a laugh, aren't you.
Come on, we'll come back in a bit.

Fucking, Jesus!

You could have taken the fuckin' socks off.
Put it away.

Fucking Christ.

The whole point was obviously

discussing your sexual addiction
ad whether this would help.

Not just in pilots in particular,
people to fill the time in,

rather than involving other
human beings and addictions.

Do you think it has
potential to help you?

Right, okay.

Is something... Alright then,
so that might take the edge off then,

so when you're actually
going out to meet someone...

Right yeah,
but that's interesting

'cause I was about to say
without the need for sex.

So you could go out now
wanting sex?

So you'd
purposely go on Tinder and...

I think, alright, okay.

No, I certainly
didn't want to...

...to see that thing
ever again.

Yeah, thanks for that.

So we're going to do a bit of bonding
here now. You're gonna show us...

...your usual haunts.

We used to
vacation here all the time,

my family and then
one day my mom was like,

"hey we're moving to Vegas."

She's a counselor.

You might need some help?

That's appropriate.
So have you ever used Tinder?

- No, I've never used it.
- No?

- That's probably a wise thing.
- I do.

I have no idea
what I'm doing here.

I'm going all in.

You seem to be quite wise at doing
this rather than being reckless

It's surprising, I thought
you'd be way more reckless.

Did you just say
you can't be reckless?

- You're doing all the gambling. I'm doing all the drinking.
- Yes!

The reason
this documentary needs to work.

That's the reason.

That sums up my life
at the moment.

Fucking hell, fucking hell.

I'm positive.

Even if I didn't
have a boyfriend.

Viva Las Vegas, I reckon.

Six shots of tequila? Sure.

Shut the fuck up.

Right fuck it, let's do it.

I just want to address this now.

Just shut the fuck up,
what, mate?

Right.

My glasses are fucked now.

Right, rolling, yeah.

Still rolling, right.

Right, I just want to
address last night, mate.

I just want to
address the fact that...

Fucking, I've
fucked my glasses as well.

I just want to
address the fact that I'm

having to move me
and Nath out the hotel.

He's just here to do a job.

Do you want to keep
rolling this, Nath, or shall we

just talk about this
off camera once again.

You wearing your
fucking stupid top.

Watch the car, dickhead.

Fuck, I'm going to fucking
throw up in a minute anyway.

Well, that was
fucking successful, wasn't it?

Right just cut it there, yeah?

It just doesn't look good on us
as a fucking production, does it?

Definitely not.

But it is the fucking world

we've been
dragged into in fairness.

But we could all end up
looking like absolute twats.

But then we've got
to be brave enough to say

well we've gone on,
you know, we're doing this.

Then we need to
show it as it is.

Or at least
craft it in a way that

it means something
and it's going to

give people an insight into

a fucking world
whether it be horrible or not.

So in a nutshell, where do
you think this leaves us then?

I don't know.
I genuinely don't know.

Yo, you guys
better find the girl

and the guy
and the match and the love.

Absolutely, we'll we're
trying, it's not been easy.

I know you guys will, I
know you will, have a good day.

Nice to speak to you,
fellas, take care.

Nothing to do
with the stewardess?

You don't want to talk
about this stewardess, do you?

You alright, boys?

What do you think about the, well any
dating app really, what do you think about?

- It's convenient, I've gotten a lot of free pizza.
- Yeah.

Have you had any good experience
or bad experience by dating apps?

Mostly good.

I've seen, I've
met a couple of people

that definitely didn't look
like their picture, like at all.

Yeah we've seen
plenty of that along the way.

Yeah, off you go.

See, I'm a bit confused.

'Cause he was
talking about a stewardess

last week and I'm not sure
if that's the stewardess or not.

But I'm not going to ask.

There they are,
there they are.

Fucking hell.

Thank you. In the car.

Oh, he has his moments.

He makes me laugh now and again.

Not very often, though.

He is on one last strike
as they say here in the US.

And he knows it.

Having said that, I don't think he
gives a flying fuck, does he, so...

- So me saying one last strike isn't going to mean anything.
- Not at all.

Oh, here she is.

Where's though?

- Did he come down before you?
- Yeah.

Where the hell is he?

Do you mind doing
one more run for us?

- Okay, that's fine.
- See if you can see him.

Yeah, is that all right?
Sorry.

Cheers, thanks.

Now this isn't
awkward at all, is it?

She'll probably find him
in a heap down there.

Trying to impress her.

- Is anyone getting that feeling again?
- Yeah.

Well, that's
fucking unanimous, isn't it?

No?
Not there?

Was I supposed to wait, no?

I thought, was he coming up?

No?

Right, we're going to
sack this off, I think.

'Cause, yeah.

- Sorry about this.
- That's OK.

Right, we're going to
see if we can see him.

Is he over there, Noah, at all?

No?

Okay, you walking back there
or are you going to do a bit?

I can walk back
over with you guys.

Yeah, cool.

Are you fucking taking
the piss, what's the matter?

What the fuck? Have you
driven off with the car?

Hello?

Hello.

Yeah, very funny.

You what?

You're in fucking Denver!
Nah, you're taking the pi...

Nah, stop fucking...

Stop fucking about, you idiot,
I'm not in the mood.

I've been stood around for
nearly fucking two hours now.

I'm at a fucking loss here. I mean that girl's
still here but there's no way I want...

Do you want to
ask her for a lift?

How awkward is that going to be?

This is the last straw, man.

This is the final
fucking chance.

Is it a bullshit date or?

So this is the stewardess
then because you were

confusing me with what
you told me about a stewardess.

And I'm asking that poor girl that
turned up on a genuine Tinder date

that you've
just fucking left

in the middle of nowhere
and she's got to

give a film crew
a lift fucking into Denver.

So what the fuck are
you doing now, you going out?

I don't know if we're gonna
come, to be honest, mate.

I'm this close to going fuck it.

Having a good time?

- Are you going to introduce us or?
- No.

- Pleased to meet you. Al.
- Hi, pleased to meet you, I'm Lauren.

Nice to meet you, Lauren.
No, we'll leave you to it.

We're getting used
to it now, we can do yeah.

I'm trying my best,
but the enthusiasm has gone a little bit.

To be honest then I drew
a blank when they came out.

I'm out, I'm out of...

Because he's... because
he hasn't kind of complied.

It feels like now when he does something
like that, he's almost doing it on purpose

knowing full well that I'm
not exactly prepared for it now

'cause I'm just waiting
for the next shit storm.

Oh, hey up.

- Are you going?
- Yeah.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Everything okay?
- Yeah, it's fine.

Yeah, do you
want to talk to us or?

Okay, that's cool.

Okay,
nice to meet you anyway.

And you, take care.

Bye now.

Bit awkward.

She came out looking
scared to death, to be honest.

I thought is at it again.

So, he's actually
just been bombed out, guys.

He hasn't said
anything inappropriate at all.

He's losing his touch.

So she was the girl that we were
looking for but you weren't.

So you did say something. I just went
in there then and said, what have

you said, and you said,
oh absolutely nothing.

Right, we're
going home now, yeah?

We all up for some food, yeah?

Those words
"trust me" are not in my...

You taking the piss?

Mate, that's
the most depraved thing

I've ever heard in my fucking life.
And I'm telling you now,

if you're not
fucking joking, that's it.

I'm not just talking the documentary,
I'm talking that's it, so it's your choice.

If you go and do that
I swear to fucking God.

I'm walking off, we're
flying back tomorrow, that's it.

Right you do
what you got to do, mate,

but I'm telling you now,

if you go through
with that it stops here.

That's it between you and me so you
need to decide whether our friendship is

worth your fucking sickness.
Right, okay.

Let's fucking go.

Come on, let's
fucking go, I can't...

Nah, I'm not, no.

Can you fucking believe that?

Of all the fucking shit
he's done that's

the worst thing
I've ever fucking heard.

You need some serious...
what d'you mean?

You better be
fucking with us right now

'cause I'm seriously.

You told us months ago you'd been tested.
That's the fucking reason we carried on.

From man to man, you need some fucking
serious psychological fucking help.

You fucking little prick.

I'll fucking kill you,
you little shit.

Life's too short
to fall in love,

so I'll just fall in lust with you.

So yeah.

So this happened?

Got with Elle and this happened.

Meet Tindy, only joking, Ebony.