Cupid's Proxy (2017) - full transcript

Rebecca Murphy is a cynical, down-on-love widow whose whole world revolves around her son, Justin, 12, a budding musician who can't remember his late father. Rebecca has no desire to date ...

(movie projector rattling)

(guitar music)

(car horn beeping)

(upbeat music)

- Hi, Justin!

- Can't stop, Natalie,

I'll be late for my lesson.

- Oh that's cool,

I'm totally cool with that.

I hear that guy, Newt or Stan--

- [Justin] Stewart.

- Yeah yeah, him,

I hear he's really good.

I mean, I think it's awesome

you're taking guitar lessons

because I'm musically inclined.

I've been taking piano

lessons since I was four.

Maybe you can learn that

cool song by Bruno Mars.

You know, it's my favorite,

Count With Me.

Wait no, that's not it.

- Oh, yeah, cool.

It's something with letters

or... - Uh-huh.

(muffled talking)

- It's Count On Me.

Who doesn't know that?

- Oh, don't be cruel.

It's her first crush,

it's so cute.

- I'll show you

those later and--

- Bye, Nat.

- Bye.

Oh anyway, about the

bracelets, you know,

so I had this red...

- Yeah, a gnat.

- Bye.

- She's kinda like a gnat.

An annoying, buzzing gnat.

- Oh, you will rethink your

position someday, buddy,

I promise.

In the meantime, you will be

as polite as possible,

young man.

She's new here,

she needs a friend.

- Mom, you know I'm

being nice to her.

And we both know how that ends.

She gets the wrong idea

and next thing I know

we're eating dinner at the

Olive Garden before Junior prom.

- Oh yeah?

You should be so lucky.

- Mom, stop stop!

Olive, hey, Olive!

I told you I'd do

that after my lesson.

- Yeah, yes yes, I know, honey

but I thought I'd

just get a head start.

You know, I only got one foot

planted in the grave, okay.

The other is firmly

amongst the living.

- Are you getting

excited for your cruise?

- Mm-mh, this is the

romance novel cruise.

- Ooh, la la.

(laughing)

Hey, and thank you

for the tomatoes.

They were amazing.

- Oh Becca, I'm just trying to

keep up your cooking skills.

You know, men, they love a

good--

- Ah.

- We have to get

running, toodle-oo.

- You'll rethink your

position someday, I promise.

- And you will mind your

own beeswax, Mr. Man.

(orchestral music)

Hey, does dropping my

kid off at the local bar,

albeit a highly

reputable establishment,

make me a bad mother?

- I never go into

the bar part, Mom.

Stewart's lessons are in

the room behind the stage.

It's totally legit.

What makes you bad mother

is forcing me to interact

with a potentially dangerous

insect, posing as a human girl.

- Not nice.

Now scoot, I gotta call my

clients over at the Dollar Depot.

I'll be back to pick

you up in 90 sharp.

- All right.

(orchestral music)

- Hello, little man.

- Hey.

(clap smack)

- Have fun.

(laughing)

- I'll try.

- Greetings, protege.

You're looking sweat free.

- Mom took mercy on

me and dropped me off.

- And a fine lady she is.

I mean, fine like, I

aspire to be a good man.

She is a fine woman.

- Yeah.

- Good citizen, true American.

All right, let's pick up some

strings and make 'em cry.

- I'm sure that

Mick and the boys

would frown at

changing the lyrics

and I don't think you

guys wanna get embroiled

in a copyright

infringement suit.

Think about that whole Robin

Thicke, Pharrell Williams mess.

- [Man On Phone]

What thick pharaoh?

- You know, I promise

that I will come up

with a ditty for Dollar

Depot that is downright dandy.

- [Man On Phone] Uh, what?

I didn't catch that.

- You know, sorry,

couldn't help myself.

More as a have it,

okie-dokie? Toodle-oo.

Ugh.

(guitar music)

- Okay, okay, now here.

Look, the cornerstone

of being a musician

is rhythm and timing.

Now, do you know

what a metronome is?

- I've heard of the

Metrodome, does that count?

- No.

But you get points

for word association.

Now, a metronome keeps the

beat, the pace, the timing.

Music is all about timing.

You either got good timing

or you got bad timing.

- You better be teaching

him something upbeat.

- Speaking of bad timing.

- Playing you all's

sad songs too.

- You know, my songs aren't sad,

they're melancholy.

And the best songs are

about falling in love

or out of love and my songs

happen to be about the latter.

Just waiting for

the tide to turn.

Besides, I got a soft spot

for relationships gone bad.

- Don't say that again, Stew.

It just gives you

a pathetic quality.

Women do not like pathetic.

- Says the lifelong bachelor

who knows everything there

is to know about women.

- Hey, Clive, you know any songs

about how to hide from girls

you don't wanna talk to?

- You don't learn how

to play the guitar

to keep the girls away.

That kinda defeats the purpose.

You know what I mean?

- Wanna give him a try?

- Really?

- Yeah.

I call this one Tex.

- Was its last owner named Tex?

- Barry.

- Was Barry from Texas?

- [Stewart] St. Louis.

- Wait, why Tex?

- Come on, let's just play.

(guitar music)

Nice.

How about old Betty,

did you name her?

- No, she came that

way from the pawn shop.

- Well, you every wonder

about her history?

Why she's named that way?

Could be a long lost

mysterious love story

waiting to be told.

- Or it's last

owner's name was Betty

and she wanted to let

everybody know it was hers.

I'm gonna get a summer

job and save up for one

without anybody's name on it.

- Okay.

Okay, all right.

Time to get the boy.

- She's super busy today,

I'm sure she'll be here soon.

- Yeah, no worries, bud.

You know, I'll be back

in one minute, okay?

- Hi.

I am so, so sorry, there

long lines at the store.

All right, Jay, let's get going.

I got a trunk full of food

and I don't wanna

risk food poisoning.

Given the fact that

I already let the kid

hang out at a bar all day,

I would definitely lose my

mother of the year nomination.

- So, how's the graphic

design coming along?

- Oh my gosh, you must think

that I'm raised by wolves.

I didn't even see you

standing there, Stewart.

- Oh well, it's hard not

to notice you standing.

I said that out loud.

Uh, on a not awkward moment.

He is doing great.

- Well, brilliance

runs in the family.

(laughing)

I'm hoping that he

can get good enough

to help me with a ditty

for the Dollar Depot folks.

They can't understand why

I can't use the Rolling Stones'

"You Can't Always

Get What You Want"

just by changing the lyrics to

you can always get what

you want for a dollar.

(laughing)

All right, vamanos, amigo.

- All right.

Say, if you need the help,

I was a pretty

decent jingle writer

in a past life.

- Boom.

(laughing)

- I'm gonna go finish

pulling the weeds for Olive.

She shouldn't be working

that hard in the heat.

It's not good for old people.

- How did I get so lucky?

Get over here.

(kiss smack)

Hey, and don't mention anything

about being old to Olive.

Women don't like to hear

those kinds of words, okay?

- I also heard that women

don't like pathetic men.

- Well, whoever you heard

that from is a genius.

- Bartender named Clive.

- I rest my case.

(laughing)

Such a good kid.

Ugh, more dishes.

(soft orchestra music)

- I vote for making

weeds the new flowers

so nobody has to pull them.

(laughing)

- Well then, what would the

young upstanding boys do

for their gracefully aging

neighbors during the summer?

- You're not aging

Olive, you're still,

I think of you as um,

you have--

- Honey, you every

hear the saying

if you find yourself

in a hole stop digging.

- Sorry.

(laughing)

- That's all right,

you're a good boy, Justin,

but the fact is

I just can't keep up with

the younger generation.

A fact which my new whipper

snapper of an editor

has made abundantly clear.

My days as cupid

could be numbered.

- What?

No way Olive, that's

not gonna happen.

You've been writing

your column forever.

Like, decades and

eons and even like--

Wait, that didn't

come out right.

What I meant was

that you've writing--

- Child, child, let me

make you some lemonade

before you ask me if I have

a pterodactyl as a pet.

I ain't that old!

Close.

(laughing)

(light upbeat music)

I've done my best to

keep up with the times.

I have all the latest

I devices, I have a website,

I face plant.

- Don't act like you don't

know what that is, Olive.

- Hmm, listen to this.

Dear Olive, we

value Call Me Cupid

here at the Daily Messenger

but letters are

beginning to dwindle

and your syndications

have declined.

Perhaps it's due to your flippant

responses to advice seekers

such as "texting killed your date night",

"Twitter me stupid,"

are beginning to alienate

our younger reads.

I was just trying to be honest.

Now, honesty, that's still

a good thing, isn't it?

- Yeah, but, well,

don't take this the

wrong way but maybe,

just maybe, you should

get to know how the

less experienced generation

interact these days.

I mean, no one wants

to feel stupid.

- Oh.

All right, you tell me as

a less experienced person

how you would answer.

"Dear Cupid, my girlfriend

insists on taking selfies

inside every

restaurant we go into.

This makes me uncomfortable

and the camera flash

disturbs others trying

to enjoy their dinner.

What should I do?

Signed Camera Shy."

- First, I wanna know how

you would answer that.

- Well, easy breezy.

I despise selfies. Selfies

are the downfall of society

and promote self aggrandizing.

And that 15 minutes of fame,

that everybody seems to--

- Whoa.

Hashtag, wrong attitude.

I don't even know

where that came from.

- Dear Camera Shy,

camera's should be banned

from eating establishments.

Gently tell Ms. Manners,

nicely, in a nice way

that you'll no longer spring

for the dinner, or the wedding,

until she learns some basic--

- Ah, no.

Selfies are a way of life,

everybody takes selfies.

(exhales)

- Okay, you have

the floor, please.

Enlighten me with your

less experienced wisdom.

- Dear Camera Shy,

dude, I feel your pain.

- Dude?

- Selfies can be super

lame and annoying

but it's time for a compromise

because your girlfriend

clearly digs you

and wants everybody to know

you're having a great time

no matter where you go.

Kill two birds with

one stone, my man.

Take it upon yourself

to suggest a selfie

outside the restaurant

so everybody knows

where you are.

But pick a joint

that's totally rad.

It's cost you a

little more bread

but hey, it could take your

ship to the next level.

After all man, YOLO.

- YOLO?

- You Only Live Once.

- [Natalie] Hey Justin,

Justin are you in here?

Your mom said you were here.

Wanna take a bike ride

before it gets dark?

- What?

- I don't suppose

you'd agree with

distracting her while

I sneak out the front?

- Mm-mm, sorry, it runs

counter to my moral compass.

You're on your own, kiddo.

You know, one day you're gonna

thank me.

- Rethink my position?

- Whatever.

Hey Natalie, I gotta

get home and practice

but maybe another time.

Interesting helmet.

- Oh thanks, I have

a bunch of other ones

but this is my

favorite summer helmet

because, well you know,

watermelon is the best summer fruit

ever and it just makes

me feel really happy?

What makes you

feel happy, Justin?

- Guitar.

- Oh, and by the way,

you know, maybe we

can take our new bikes

to the rec trail 'cause

tomorrow I'm leaving

and so I have to--

- Wait, wait,

- you're going somewhere?

- Yeah, tomorrow

my mom and step-dad

are taking me to see my

grandparents at the lake.

And I'll be gone for a week

but maybe when we get back

we can go on the rec trail.

- Oh my gosh, Natalie, you have

a great great, great time.

As a matter of fact, have

the best time of your life!

I'll see you when you get back.

Bye.

- I think he likes me.

(laughing)

(computer keys clacking)

- That's it, an alter ego,

an alias, a nom de plume.

Nothing ventured, as they say.

(playful music)

- Hey Jay, come listen to this.

Okay, so it's still

just a wee notion

and I think that my brain

is starting to shrink

from thinking too

much but be honest.

Okay.

- All right.

♪ Dollar Depot where

your family gets ♪

♪ A lot for less

- It's a good start.

Catchy tune, but I know

you can do a lot better.

I mean, Dollar Depot's where

everything costs a dollar.

So, saying you get

a lot for less--

- Obvious, duh,

not very inspired.

This is my first jingle

and I really need to

hit it out of the park.

- Stewart is a great musician

and a song writer too,

maybe you could call him.

- No, honey, no no no.

I'm not comfortable doing that.

I need to do this by myself.

These are my clients and I--

- Would it hurt to ask?

- Oh, oh it hurts!

Ow, uh, oh!

Oh my son is, ow,

losing faith in his--

- You can stop the

comedy routine.

I'll keep my trap shut.

- You will?

For always?

- Cue the laugh track.

- [Rebecca] I love you, baby.

- Love you more.

And, by the way, I

know you can do it.

But just in case you can't,

Stewart can always be backup.

(playful piano music)

- Ugh, I hate it when

he gets the last word.

How did he get so good at that?

Okay.

♪ Dollar

Oh, come on.

♪ Dollar Depot

where it's cheapo ♪

No, that's terrible.

(ukulele music)

- All right, this is business.

This is strictly business,

that's all this is.

Clever.

"I offer my clients

a cozy warm incubator

where ideas can flourish."

Very sweet.

Extremely corny but very sweet.

(yawning)

- [Justin] Gosh, I thought

you were leaving.

- We're leaving at 10 but

it's only 6:30 now so,

thought I'd bring you

this before I left.

It's from the Dino

Predator collection.

My step-dad works for the

company that makes them.

Cool, huh?

- Yeah, cool.

Well, thanks but I guess I'll

see you when you get back.

- Hi, Nat.

- [Natalie] Hi.

- I heard the early

bird gets the worm

but I don't think the

worms are even up yet.

- I've always been

an early riser.

My mom says I have more energy

than a nuclear power plant.

- Got that right.

- Okay, well come on in,

I'll fix you a bagel.

You can power the toaster.

- [Natalie] Come in.

- Yeah.

- Brought your paper.

Call Me Cupid is

totally rad today.

Different from all the others.

She even has a new name.

- Oh, a new name, really?

Well, I don't actually

read Olive's column,

although I love her to pieces,

but thank you for the scoop.

- She's a love cynic.

- She is standing right here

and she doesn't believe in

airing her relationship woes

in public.

- She doesn't believe

in relationships at all.

Does she?

- Well well, isn't that the

frog calling the grass green?

He's a little cranky

in the morning

so I'll leave you

two love birds alone.

Bagels coming right up.

- Your mom is the coolest.

- Uh, make yourself

at home, I guess.

- Oh, here, I'll read it to you.

It's the best one ever.

"Dear Cupid, my girlfriend

insists on taking selfies

inside every

restaurant we go into.

This makes me uncomfortable

and the camera's flash

disturbs others trying

to enjoy their dinner.

What should I do?

Signed, Camera Shy."

Here's her response,

it's the best one ever.

"Dear Camera Shy, dude,

I feel your pain.

Selfies can be super

lame and annoying.

But it's time for a compromise

because your girlfriend

clearly digs you

and wants everybody to know

that you're having a great time

wherever you go.

Kill two birds with

one stone, my man.

Take it upon yourself

to suggest a selfie

outside the restaurant

before you go into

people's in the place.

But pick a joint

that's totally rad.

It'll cost you a

little more bread

but if it could take your

ship to the next level.

After all, dude, YOLO.

Signed, Cupid's Proxy."

What does it mean by taking

the ship to the next level?

- Relationship.

- Oh, what's proxy mean?

- Hold that thought.

(foot steps tapping)

(chime with each messages)

- That's so lovely

to hear, honey.

From the sound of

your last email

I thought my goose was cooked.

- [Woman On Phone]

No no, Cupid's Proxy,

it's genius!

You don't alienate

your older readership

but pull in a younger

set, it's brilliant.

- Oh-uh uh, well I

gotta hang up now, honey.

Oh, I got some many

comments coming in

and I'll be in my

jammies till noon.

It's nice chatting with you.

- [Woman On Phone] Wait,

let's talk about how--

- Ba-bye.

- What did you do?

- What, where's the fire honey?

Oh honey, sit down.

Sit down before you bust a gut.

What?

- Where's Justin?

- Totally bounced.

- Oh.

- This bagel smells amazing.

Does it have salted

of unsalted butter?

'Cause my mom says that

salted is really bad for you

and cause all sorts

of medical problems

if you eat too much of it.

Actually, any butters

are bad for you

so we just don't eat any butter.

But that's probably

why they smell so good

and I just can't believe it.

'Cause my grandma one

time, she had butter

and it was amazing because I--

- Natalie.

- [Natalie] Yeah?

- Stop talking, please.

- Okay.

Well, I gotta go now

'cause I have to get ready

to go to my grandparents house

so tell Justin I'll see

him when I get back.

- [Rebecca] Okay, if I

see him I'll tell him.

- Oh hey, do you want

me to look for him?

'Cause I'm really good

at looking for people.

I could just go--

- If I need to find

him I'll just call 911.

Thank you for your concern.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- Holy cats, that girl can talk.

- Why'd you do that?

People are gonna know it was me!

- How?

- I don't know, they just will.

If my friends find out I'll

never be able to go out again.

I'll have to go into hiding,

quit school, witness protection.

I'm not a love

counselor, I'm a boy!

- Oh, that's nonsense.

Do you know how many

comments, positive comments,

that we got online.

All because of you

and your advice.

- But I wasn't trying

to do it on purpose.

I was, well, I was just

trying to help you out.

- And you did, honey,

more than you know.

But you know what,

you have a knack

for giving out practical advise.

And you a darn good

writer to boot.

- Thank you, now let's

forget all about it.

It was a one time thing and

it's not gonna happen again.

And besides, how can you

pretend my words are your words?

Right?

I mean, it's not honest.

- Well, that's why I

didn't sign it Cupid.

I signed it it Cupid's Proxy.

You know what a proxy is?

- No and I don't wanna know.

- It's a substitute, a

representative or an agent

acting on behalf

of somebody else.

See, it's all completely

on the up and up.

- Okay, well, just this one

time but not anymore after that.

- Well, let me show you

a few of the excerpts

from the comments that we got.

Now, some of the words

even I don't understand

but I'm sure it's all good.

Amazeballs.

- That means totally amazing.

- Oh.

Best advice ever.

Cupid's Proxy is the bomb.

More Proxy please, genius.

Proxy is FR?

- For real.

- Oh.

Proxy is high-key.

Oh.

Now look, Justin, I need to

keep working but I'm a dinosaur.

But this dinosaur, she

loves her fiesta cruises.

No jobs, no fiesta cruises.

So I propose an arrangement.

Now, you need a

new guitar, right?

- Ah, yeah.

- And I want to continue

living in the style

to which I've become accustomed.

So, Cupid's Proxy

writes one response

for every two of

mine every week.

- Nope, can't do it.

- It'll be our secret.

Nobody'll know, I promise.

- Relationship advice

is a girl thing.

I, I--

- 20 dollars a response.

- Deal.

- Hey, I've been looking

all over for you.

What are you two doing?

- Nothin'.

- Nothing.

- Ah, I know what this is about.

You can't fool me.

Escape from Natalie.

Oh, honey, I totally get it.

- Wait, so you'll

never lecture me again

about trying to ignore her?

- Of course not.

That would spoil

all of mommy's fun.

I'm just saying that I get it.

Uh Olive,

(sniffs)

do I smell your coffee?

(laughing)

- Awesome.

This writing gig might

not be that bad after all.

- You know, the young

ones would never send

a hand written letter.

Do you whipper

snappers even know

what a pen and a pencil is?

(laughing)

- Here's one.

"Dear Cupid's Proxy."

- Just go with it honey.

Embrace your inner celebrity.

- "I saw my girlfriend

flirting with another guy

at the football game, at

least it looked like flirting.

Should I publicly

shame her online

or post a picture so

she knows I saw them?

Signed, Jilted."

- Well, you're on, Proxy.

I'll take the 80 year

old who wants to know

if he should take flowers

on the first date.

(light upbeat music)

(laughing)

- Yo, what?

Oh good grief, where is

this coming from, Olive?

(laughing)

- [Justin] What's so funny?

- Oh, it's nothing.

Just, nothing at all.

Just a crazy story

about, I forgot.

No, it's a dog that can

bark the national anthem,

or something like that.

You hungry?

What?

(guitar music)

- Wow.

(applauding)

You've been spending

some quality time

with old Betty there.

Hey, I'm proud of you, Justin.

Your rhythm

and timer were spot on,

you didn't miss one

chord, you nailed it.

- Thanks!

I wanna get really good

before I get my new guitar.

- Oh, new guitar,

that's exciting.

When you're ready

to pick one out

you let me know and I'll

help you and your mom out,

all right?

'Cause getting a new guitar

is a, it's a commitment.

You don't wanna

just rush in there

and fall in love with the

first pretty face you see.

Take your time, find the

one that speaks to ya.

And if you're lucky enough,

you find the right one

you could be with her

the rest of your life.

- Kinda like a

good friend, right?

- Yeah, something

like that, yeah.

- You know, I told my

mom she could call you

to help her write the jingle.

- Thanks for the solid,

wing man.

- But don't get your hopes up.

She doesn't like getting

help from other people.

She likes to think of herself

as fiercely independent.

- Fair enough.

- Just in case she

does change her mind,

I haven't exactly told her

I'm getting a new guitar.

Kind of a surprise.

- Oh.

A secret summer job.

Let me guess CIA, FBI?

- Something like that.

- You're a regular 007.

Does your shoe

turn into a phone?

(laughing)

All right, your secret's

safe with me, buddy.

(guitar music)

(laughing)

What's so funny?

- Oh, Call Me Cupid.

- Oh Clive, you gotta buy me

dinner and chocolates first.

- Oh well, that is so funny.

(laughing)

It's the name of the column.

- I know what it is,

just messing with you.

- So you do read it?

- Whoa, I didn't say that.

Said I know what it is.

(applauding)

You think I need

relationship advice.

- Well, if you

had one you wouldn't.

Just check it out,

it's pure entertainment.

It's like this Cupid lady's got

some sort of alter ego

she calls Cupid's Proxy.

- Oh, what's so

entertaining about it?

- I don't know it just,

it's just entertaining.

I mean, it's like these

people are getting

really sound advise

from a teenager.

Speaking in text, with a PhD

in Psychology or something.

- That's one weird combo.

- Yes it is, but it works.

Check it out, bro.

(light music)

- Well, it looks like somebody's

actually enjoying himself.

- Business, strictly business.

Oh, do you mind if

I do two this week?

- Mm, that means I

owe you 40, right?

- Nope, one on the house.

A trial run to see if

we get more action.

Then, if you think I'm worth

it, we can renegotiate.

Fair?

- Oh, all right

mister business man.

(laughing)

- I think that we can create

a much more user friendly page

if we take...

(knocking on the door)

...if we take away...

get too busy, but--

- Hey, oh I'm sorry,

is this a bad time?

I was bringing by Justin's, uh--

- Wait, The Pop Shop.

- Oh yeah yeah, this old thing?

Yeah, this is, it's

a place back in--

- Des Moines.

Yeah, one of my favorite

jingles of all time.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Mine too.

I actually wrote it.

- Oh no, sorry, forget

about Des Moines.

Multitasking.

Can you hold on for two shakes?

- [Stewart] Yeah.

- [Rebecca] Okay, great.

Uh-huh.

Okay, I will call you Monday.

(rattling)

- Hey.

- Ah, thank you.

Okay, look, what

I'm about to say

is so rare and unusual

you're more likely

to spot a giraffe

on roller skates

than ever hear me say it again.

(laughing)

I need help with the jingle.

- I'm your man, for the job.

- Okay, great.

- Yeah, yeah great.

- And no freebees

just because you,

you know, are Justin's

music teacher.

- Okay.

- Not gonna let you

do this as a favor.

- Sure.

- Yeah.

You're not doing it out of

the kindness of your heart.

- I won't, I could

use the money.

Thank you.

- Okay, great.

Then I guess I'll just

email you some notes.

- Notes are good.

I'm a musician, I like notes.

Bad joke.

- Yeah.

Yeah, stick with the music,

no stand up comedy.

(laughing)

- Okay.

- That's my attempt at a joke.

Okay, well we won't write

jokes, we'll just do jingles.

Okay, great.

- Okay.

Yeah.

- Thank you.

- And thanks for this.

- You got it.

- Bye.

- All right Clive,

I will humor you.

Let's see what all

the hubbub's about.

(light upbeat music)

(chimes with each messages)

- [Woman On Phone] Olive,

Cupid's Proxy's turned into

a newspaper's equivalent

of going viral.

We're getting Tweet's,

Facebook likes and shares

like never before.

Then local news wants

to do a story on you.

They wanna know everything about

this new alter ego of yours.

They're sending a

reporter out today--

- What, today?

No not today, not today,

that can't happen.

- [Woman On Phone] Yes today,

I'm counting on you.

- I'll call you back.

Ugh.

♪ If your girlfriend

doesn't love you ♪

♪ And you only have a buck

♪ You can

♪ La la la la

- Unstuck.

Ugh, outta luck.

Stew, you really suck.

Okay.

Think happy, think upbeat,

think smiling faces.

Think of you at a

higher tax bracket.

♪ If you only have a dollar

♪ You give the store a holler

♪ And we'll be

right there for you ♪

(toy car engine revving)

(light upbeat music)

- Houston, we have a problem.

(toy car crashing)

It seemed like such a good idea.

And it was so well received.

Oh, I guess I got carried away.

Now they want me to talk

to this reporter about--

- What?

- I guess I'm gonna have to

tell them the truth, honey.

- No no no, you can't.

- Oh no wait, no no no, no,

I won't tell them it's you

but I am gonna have to

tell it's not really me.

- What if you get fired?

What about the cruises?

- I don't see any other way.

- I have an idea.

(light upbeat music)

- So Olive, personally I

think you're brilliant.

And, you know,

I'm dying to know.

I think we're all dying to know,

how you came up

with Cupid's Proxy.

- Well, you could say

that Cupid's Proxy

walked right into

my living room.

- [Reporter] Just

came in one day?

- Mm-hm.

- [Reporter] Blew in through the wind.

- Mm-hm.

- I love reading your column. I mean,

I read it every single day.

And don't get me wrong,

I liked it before,

but now it's like you're

two different people.

- Oh well, that's

just what it is.

We are two people.

We both have our very

own distinct voices

and our way of

doling out advice.

It's just like I invited a,

wise beyond their years tween,

right into my living room.

- I totally get that.

Sometimes you have to straddle

both worlds, am I right?

- Uh-huh, yes, we all have

to adjust to the times.

- So how did you pick up

on the lingo so quickly?

I mean, I know you're

known for your,

I don't mean to sound

insulting or anything,

more mild mannered

speech and, you know,

older sensibilities when

you're giving advice.

- Well I have read up a

lot on how teens speak.

I can't say that I like it

but Cupid's Proxy has seemed

to master the vernacular,

and I have to say it's opened up

a whole new world of readers.

- It's so cool how

you talk about CP

almost as if she's a

totally different person.

- Oh, um.

Who says she can't be a he.

(laughing)

- Olive, you so complex,

you my kinda girl.

(light upbeat music)

- [Natalie] Hey Justin,

what are you doing out here?

- What are you

doing back so soon?

- Duh, I've been

gone for a week.

Haven't you missed me?

- Like a bug bite.

- What about Bug's Life?

- Never mind, look I have to--

- Hey, did you notice the van

from the news station out front?

I don't know what

they're doing here.

Do you know anything about it?

Hey, I'm gonna go check it out.

I'm gonna go talk to them.

- Natalie.

- Geez, you can't talk to them.

- Why not?

They're right there, I'm just gonna go over there.

- Natalie!

Why are you like this,

what's wrong with you?

Don't you ever stop

bugging people?

You're like an annoying

puppy that won't go away.

And you're constantly butting

in on other people's business.

Don't you get the hint when

people want you to stop talking?

You better get a clue

before school starts

or else you're not gonna

have any friends at all.

And by the way, I don't

wanna be your friend.

Not now, not ever.

Wait wait, Natalie.

Natalie, it's just that--

Natalie.

Nice, Murphy, real nice.

(melancholy music)

Mom.

- Hi, honey, what's up?

You look sad.

Did the dog run away?

- We don't have a dog.

- [Rebecca] Come here.

- I miss him even though

I don't remember him.

Is that weird?

Missing someone

you can't remember.

- No, no.

It's not weird at all.

He used to hold you in his

arms and sing you to sleep.

And he pushed you

all around town

in that crummy little stroller

that we were so afraid

was gonna snap shut

and swallow you

up at any moment.

- I wish I could have

remembered him better.

- Me too.

But always remember, he gave you

all the gifts that

he had inside him.

All his hopes and dreams

that he had for you

they're all right here.

Just waiting to be discovered.

- Did you always love dahlias?

- Actually, tulips

are my favorite

but your dad brought me

dahlias on our first date.

That's how I remember him.

- Tell me again some of the

things you guys did together.

- Well, we used to love to hike

and there was this one

time that we went up to--

- Big Bass Lake.

- Yeah, and we got so

lost that we had to--

- Start a fire to

send smoke signals.

- We're lucky that your

dad had a scout badge

in fire building because

all I knew how to do

was run around in circles

and yell for help.

(laughing)

(gentle music)

- I was a real jerk

to Natalie today.

I hurt her feelings really bad.

I tired to apologize

but she wouldn't listen.

What would dad do?

- Well remember all

those gifts I told you

he passed onto you?

I think you already

know what he would do.

- Thanks, Mom.

(gentle music)

- [News Anchor] ...relationship advice,

I know I do.

Our correspondent Daniel Clark

gives us a peek into

the rad new world

of Call Me Cupid.

- Oh, Jay!

- Jay, Olive is on TV.

- Right here.

- I'm here today

with Olive Petrick,

better known as Call Me Cupid,

who's launched a viral sensation

with her alter

ego Cupid's Proxy.

Olive, I think you're brilliant,

I know we all think

you're brilliant.

You so complex,

you my kinda girl.

- Wow, oh, she killed it.

That woman is somethin' else.

And such a brilliant idea.

I love how she said that

she and Cupid's Proxy

were two people.

- Yeah, I mean, that's

just what they are.

I, she was being honest, right?

You know, in a

creative kinda way.

You know, right, right?

- Right.

(upbeat music)

(orchestral music)

(doorbell ringing)

- Oh, this is so cute,

he loves Olive so much.

What a goof ball.

- Ow!

Sorry, I'm having a bad day.

- You know, I'm in a

bit of a dilemma myself.

What do you, hey, what do you

say we grab some root beers,

go outside and talk about it?

Okay.

- Girls.

I don't get 'em.

(laughing)

They want attention,

attention, attention,

and then when one little

things goes wrong, bam.

They go dark and

totally ignore you.

- Are you having a fight

with your girlfriend?

- No, not my girlfriend,

just a friend.

A sort of friend.

I like her in a weird way.

She could actually be a friend

if she wasn't so

amped up all the time.

I said some super

harsh thing to her

and now she won't

even talk to me.

- Did you try apologizing?

- Yeah, I got the

total shut out.

- You could write her a song.

- I'm not ready for that.

- Do you know what I've

always found works for me?

- What?

- Speak from your heart,

tell her the truth.

Now look, you just

said that you've said

some pretty harsh

things to her, right?

So own it, apologize to her,

tell her how bad

it made you feel

and she'll respect you for that.

You might even become

better friends for it too.

- Thanks, Stewart,

for talking girls and stuff.

(laughing)

- Hey, that can be the

name of our first album.

Girls and Stuff by

Justin and Stewart.

(laughing)

- [Justin] So how about you,

what's your dilemma?

- Oh, um, yeah yeah,

it's a bit more complicated

than your situation but

you can definitely file it

under girls and stuff.

(laughing)

Besides, you're my priority.

I'm on your clock.

- See ya next week.

- Thanks, Pop Shop.

- Yeah.

- [Rebecca] How'd it go?

- [Justin] Awesome.

- Ugh.

What a sweet kid.

Hey.

- Does the kid know you

got eyes for his mama?

(laughing)

- [Stewart] What?

- Have a seat, Stew.

Sean Murphy.

- Who?

- That was the boy's daddy.

He was killed

in the line of duty

when he pulled a teenage

kid out of a burning car

before the fire

department got there.

Cost him his life.

Justin must have

been a baby then.

- So you knew him?

- Well, I knew of him.

There wasn't a ladder company

or precinct in the whole state

that didn't know the

story of that family.

- Why are you telling me this?

- Because you're gonna

have to work double time

to win that one over.

- Justin?

- [Clive] No, Stew.

- We're pals, that

kid and I work--

- Stew,

not the kid, the mama.

Now, that river runs

deep and wide, my friend.

It's not gonna be easy.

- How do you know

so much about her?

- Well who said I know

anything about her?

I just know about heartache

and she's had her fair share

and then some, and I'll

tell ya another thing,

she's not the only

one around here

that's had a rough go of it.

- Okay, Clive, I don't--

- Dude, I've seen

you back in that room

playing your melancholy songs.

You're sad, you know,

how long has it been

since she left ya?

- A while.

- A while.

Maybe it's time

you took a chance.

Might be good for both of you.

I gotta go work.

- You really should go.

- Go where?

- To hear Stewart play.

He's really good and

he's really nice.

Maybe you could

take Olive with you.

- Rats, I think I

forgot the arugula.

- You hate arugula.

- Yeah, well that was

called a change-up.

It's what adults do when

they want their children

to stay out of

their social lives.

Instead of blatantly

calling them buttinskies.

- Mm, you just made that up.

A change-up's a baseball pitch.

- A deceptively slow pitch

intended to throw off the batter.

Get the connection?

So what's on your

agenda, slugger?

- Over to Natalie's again.

This time I'll try

falling on my sword.

- Not the rusty one.

You don't need guilt

and a nasty infection.

- Then over to Olive's to

help her with some stuff.

- You've been spending a lot

of time over there lately.

What does she got you doing?

Building a bomb shelter,

preparing for a zombie apocalypse?

- Yeah.

- [Rebecca] Cool, be

home in time for dinner.

And don't bring

any walking dead.

- [Justin] Okay, whatever.

- Whatever?

When did we start that trend?

(doorbell ringing)

- I suffer from hay fever.

- Oh.

I didn't know.

- Flowers cause

- the mucous membrane

of my eyes and nose

to get all stuffy and itchy and

I sneeze all over the place.

- Sorry.

- You're a real jerk face,

Justin Murphy.

(guitar music)

This place is actually

very, very special to me.

It's like my favorite place

in the whole entire world.

The sheets are made of,

well, my bedroom.

Anyway...

(guitar music)

- My dad died when I

was a baby. He was a hero.

He was saving a kid from a

car that was on fire and--

- Oh, no no no, you don't

have to tell me anything

if you don't want to.

- It's okay.

- I've only ever really

talked about it to my mom.

She always keep dahlia

flowers in the house

to remember him by.

They gave him a metal of valor.

I have it in my room, I mean,

I can show you

sometime if you want.

But, you know,

you don't have to.

- That would be totally cool

but I would never go in

your room or anything,

you know, 'cause I

wouldn't be allowed.

Your mom would probably say no

and my mom would definitely

say now, you know.

I totally get it if

it doesn't work out.

Yeah, I talk a lot.

It can really annoying

but, you know,

I just keep going and going

and I've been doing it so--

(laughing)

- Yeah, you

definitely talk a lot.

I mean, where's your off switch?

- I know it's a

really bad habit,

it started when

my parents told me

that they were

getting a divorce,

I thought if I kept talking

maybe they'd stay together

and talking would make

them stay together.

But, didn't work.

- Friends?

(sweet music)

Oh, okay.

So, you're a talker

and a hugger.

Good to know.

Hey, I gotta go, I told

Olive I'd help her today.

- Oh hey, since we're

friends I'll tell

I don't really suffer

from hay fever.

I was trying to--

- It's okay.

I deserved it.

See ya.

(piano music)

- Here you go, buddy.

- This is too much.

I told you the second

one was an experiment.

See if we got more action.

- And we did get more action.

Go check the online comments.

- "More Proxy."

"Proxy rocks."

"Updating my subscription

to forever."

Wow.

- And that's just the

tip of the ice berg.

These people, these

young people who write in

they love Cupid's Proxy

more than they love Cupid.

I just don't know

how long we can,

or we should keep this up.

That TV interview, it just

about did me in, honey.

Whoa.

- I can teach you.

- Honey, I'm an old dog.

You know what they

say about old dogs?

- They learn quicker

than young stubborn dogs?

(laughing)

- You sure know how

to turn a phrase, kid.

- Let's see.

I'll pick one sent online, like

I'd be answering it myself,

but I'll walk you

right through it.

- Oh, well all right.

- Here's one.

"Dear Cupid's Proxy.

I'm a musician and embarrassed

to say a hopeless romantic

but unlucky in love.

A terrible combination."

This sounds like Stewart.

"There's this woman I'd

like to get to know better

but every time

I approach her, I blow it.

I even went to her house

to return something

and got all tongue tied

like a teenage boy.

I'm a decent guy.

And advice on how to

get my foot in the door

without putting it

in my mouth first?

Sincerely, Tex."

- Justin, hello.

- Oh my gosh, this

really could be him.

- Who?

- So I popped into the

Bulk and Stuff today

to pick up 600 rolls

of toilet paper

and I cannot believe that

I never noticed this before

but that place sells

diapers and coffins.

I just, I was laughing out loud.

Speaking of laughing out loud,

Stewart was so funny

when he came by.

Justin, who on Earth

are talking to?

You haven't had an imaginary

friend since you were four.

- Ah.

- Anyway, Stewart was so cute,

he was almost tongue tied.

You know, he wrote one

of the coolest jingles

that I've ever heard for

the Nothin' but Pop Shop.

It is one of my

favorites of all time.

- Um, may I please be excused?

I think I left something

over at Olive's.

- Okay but, put your

plate in the kitchen.

(exciting music)

- Eat fast, school is

officially in session.

Let's go.

- [Olive] Ugh, oh.

- What advice

would you give Tex?

- Well, clearly this woman

is not interested in him

so I would tell him,

gently, to move on.

There's other fish in the sea.

- Ah, wrong!

If you were

interested in someone,

I mean really

interested in someone,

would you give up

without a fight?

This guy's probably

no spring chicken.

Time could be

running out for him.

And the woman he

wants to get to know

probably needs a little push

but may not even know

she needs a little push.

Maybe she's lonely and

doesn't want to admit it.

Or maybe she's just scared.

- I see your point.

- Try again and this time

answer like Cupid's Proxy.

- Yo, bro.

- No rhyming.

- Yo, dude?

Yo, dude, your attitude is--

- This is going to

be a long night.

- What?

- Well hello, Tex.

- Ugh.

(playful music)

- You were so great on

TV the other day, Olive.

Ugh, this Cupid's Proxy

thing is so creative.

And I love what Proxy told

Tex in your column today.

Texans are just so

sweet and polite.

I feel so bad for him,

he's trying so hard.

(laughing)

- I thought you

didn't read my column.

- Oh come on, of course I do.

You're my friend,

how could I not?

Just don't tell the kid.

Yeah, it'll spoil

one of our sacred

mother-son banter subjects.

Besides, it's in my nature

to be stubbornly quirky

and irreverent about all things

related to love

and relationship.

People wouldn't recognize

me if I changed.

(laughing)

It'd be like if I started

wearing matte lipstick.

Have you seen what matte

lipstick does to your teeth?

Seriously, you would

have to keep reminding me

to go like this all the time.

(laughing)

- Would it kill you to

just consider dating?

- Well, there's no

scientific proof

that it wouldn't kill me.

And then who would

raise my beautiful boy?

- Yeah, well that beautiful boy

is gonna grow up without

a man in his life.

That what you really want?

- So you didn't even

read the advice?

- No.

And I don't want to.

It's embarrassing

enough I even wrote in.

I spent the night listening to

a little too much Air Supply,

I took your advice

and now here I am.

- All righty.

- No no no, no,

come on, man, don't don't.

- "Dear Tex.

Yo dude."

I love that.

"I totally hear you, I recently

found myself in similar sitch

and I had to dig deep to

find out what I was made of.

Keep the faith, man,

and keep trying.

You may be unlucky in love

but maybe Miss Reluctant

and has a story you just

don't know about, yo.

If you don't keep

trying to ask her out

you can be missing

out on your OTP.

Peace out, bro."

- I can't even believe

I'm asking you this.

What's OTP?

- One True Pairing.

I Googled it.

(guitar music)

- Hey, Jay!

What do you wanna

watch for movie night?

Maybe a slapstick

comedy or like a, um.

Oh, hey Natalie, you gonna

join us for movie night?

- Actually, Mom, Natalie

and her folks invited me

to go to the Multiplex

with them.

- They're playing the

very first Star Wars.

You know, the one with

super low tech CGI.

It's so quaint.

- Oh, okay.

Well, is this like a,

like a date or something?

- No, Mom, no.

- It's kinda like a date.

- No, Mom, not a date.

- It's kind of.

- No, not a date.

- It's like a friend date.

- I made you a list of highly,

highly recommended movies.

- Oh, well thank you, I guess.

Are you sure you guys

wanna go to the Multiplex?

It's gonna be a zoo, crowded.

I mean, lots of screaming

kids and sticky.

Really really sticky,

I wouldn't be surprised

if your shoes stick to the floor

and you come home

in just your socks.

Are you sure you don't wanna

just stay here with me instead?

- [Justin] Love you, bye.

- [Rebecca] Hey.

- [Natalie] Bye.

- Say Anything, When Harry Met Sally,

Sleepless in Seattle.

Really?

Oh, where'd that one go?

- [Clive] Well?

- Well what?

- Well, what do you think?

Did you call and ask her out?

- Can you please

pass the mic stand?

Save the death stare

for the non-tippers.

- You know, I once

heard Wayne Gretzky say

"You miss 100% of the

shots that you don't take."

Think about that, Stew.

(engine revving)

(guns banging)

(gentle music)

- [Justin] Mom.

Wake up and go to bed.

(moaning)

- Oh, man.

Oh, Three Stooges, that's

what I should of watched

instead of World Apocalypse 15.

How many times can Hollywood

wipe out humanity anyway?

- I hear World Apocalypse

16's in the works.

- Hmm.

Hey, how was your date?

Sorry, your non, your non-date.

- I'm starting to rethink

my position, a little.

- Hmm.

All right, well don't

stay up too late, okay?

- All right.

(gentle music)

- [Justin Voiceover] Dear Tex,

I don't know if

they'll print my letter

but I wanted to tell you

that yours sounded very nice.

You seem like someone

I'd like to know.

I haven't been unlucky

in love like you

but I have had my broken

in a million pieces

a long time ago.

So I probably sort

of know how you feel,

just in a different way.

You also sound familiar, maybe

we already know each other.

Wouldn't that be funny?

I think Cupid's Proxy's

advise to keep trying

was right on.

Sincerely, Jingle Lady.

(soft orchestra music)

- I don't think my proxy speak

is coming along too well.

It still doesn't feel natural.

- You just need more practice.

Here, pretend you're a lady

that needs some advice.

- Okay.

Dear Cupid's Proxy, I

would like my boyfriend

to buy me an obnoxiously

large engagement ring

but he said he can't afford it.

Am I being unreasonable?

Sincerely, Ringless.

- Dear Ringless,

hashtag whoa, Nellie.

The last thing you wanna do

is make your B backslash F,

that means boyfriend, feel you

like he can't do you a solid.

Do something really nice.

Because he doesn't

have the paper, money.

Give him some props,

proper consideration,

for having a good job and

put yourself in his shoes.

Kicks, for short.

And DTRT, do the right thing.

C4N, see you for now.

Cupid's Proxy.

- Oh my gosh,

you're Cupid's Proxy.

- Look, Natalie,

this has to be CIA, FBI,

Homeland Security,

totally top secret.

- I promise I won't tell a soul.

This is just so exciting!

I cannot believe that I'm

actually meeting Cupid's Proxy!

- [Olive] I think that you have

had enough sugar, baby girl.

- I give you my word

of honor, Justin,

I will not tell

another living being.

My lips are sealed shut

with super glue.

They could even drag

me down into a swamp

full of giant crocodiles

and slimy water

before I say anything!

- Super glue!

- Remember.

- [Natalie] Right.

(soft orchestra music)

- So, what else

do you like to do?

Besides music.

You like to hike?

- Ah, I like hiking.

In the fall when the air

gets a little crisp and cool.

- Do you know how to

build a good fire?

Camp fire I mean,

or the kind you'd use

to send smoke signals

for example?

- Well, this goes without

saying, I was an Eagle Scout.

- Do you like corny jokes?

Really bad corny jokes.

- I love any attempt at humor.

What is with the interview?

I'm really not that interesting.

- I think people that say

they're not that interesting

really are interesting.

They just don't like to admit it

because they're

shy or modest or--

- Yeah, am I being charged

for the session, Dr. Murphy?

- Oh well, hey look at the time.

Don't wanna be late,

see ya, Stewart.

- Yeah, what is

up with him today?

I think he was just

kicking my tires.

He was kicking my tires.

(soft upbeat music)

- Olive.

- Hey honey, in the kitchen!

- "I think Cupid's Proxy's

advice to keep trying

was right on.

Sincerely, Jingle Lady."

Wow, maybe these two

actually do know each other.

- Well, you never know.

But we better be

careful with this one.

People get kind of creepy

sometimes, you know what I mean?

But this letter, it did

come from our zip code.

Which makes you wonder,

that other letter came online

so this guy Tex he could be

from anywhere in this country.

- You gotta send it in.

I mean, what if Tex saw

it and then he responded.

Maybe these two

could actually meet.

What a great story

that would be.

And then if the liked each other

who knows what

else could happen?

- Well, slow down, Romeo.

You're getting a little too

wrapped up in this one but

we don't really even know

who these people are.

- Promise me you'll send it in.

I have a really good

feeling about this one.

Please, promise me

you'll send it in.

- Like that, yeah.

(laughing)

How's the jingle coming?

- Oh, we're exchanging

ideas over email.

- Maybe you should go

to Clive's on Friday,

that way you could hear him play

and you guys could talk

face to...

(toy car crashes)

...face.

- Sorry.

- I'm sure it'll be fine.

- Yeah, it looks fine.

- Kind of.

- Kind of.

- Yeah.

- You read the paper today?

- Later, Gossip Girl.

(upbeat music)

- Mom, I'm going to Natalie's.

- Okay, Justin who isn't here.

You know, I can't make decisions

until my French roast

kicks in anyway.

- That is so cool.

Maybe you and Olive

will be responsible

for putting two lonely

people together.

Just like real cupids.

Oh my gosh, then you can

have the bow and the arrow.

- Natalie.

Can you keep a secret?

- Okay, I know I talk a lot but

that's completely random things

that no one listens to,

but when it totally comes

to really important stuff

you can always count on me.

Oh my gosh, that was

the name of the song.

Oh my God, that has been

bothering me for days now!

Do you remember that?

That was so bad.

Oh my gosh.

- I'm going to tell you something

that nobody else on the

planet or the universe knows.

- Oh my gosh, you're not

telling me Taylor Swift

lip syncs to her

own songs, are you?

Because that would

just bring my world

totally crashing down.

- No.

I wrote the letter.

- Yeah, I know

you're Cupid's Proxy.

That secret is, like,

just so yesterday.

- No, I'm also Jingle Lady.

(laughing)

- How many people are you?

- I had to tell it to somebody

or I was gonna spontaneously

combust or something.

I was hoping he'd see

it and think it was her

and call her or come

over or something.

- Hey, I have an idea.

Why don't you invite Stewart

over without your mom knowing.

Kinda like a

surprise blind date.

- You don't know my mom.

She'd probably send me

off to a military school

to train the buttinsky

out of me.

- Buttin-whaty?

- Never mind.

Now, that the

letter's been printed

I'm going to put

Operation Tulip into play.

- What's that?

- Just trust me.

- Always.

(upbeat music)

- [Justin Voiceover] Dear Tex:

Yo! It's me with

some solid advice

to snag that sweet Jingle Lady.

One word, bro.

Tulips.

Every woman loves them.

Call me cra-cra but I'll

bet her faves are yellow.

Peace out, CP.

- Hey, this doesn't

mean it's her.

This could be anybody.

Could be some nut job.

All right, who're we kidding?

Gonna sit here all day

and feel like a stalker?

I'm not a stalker.

Just, for the record,

I'm not a stalker.

All right.

You threw out the first

shot, she answered the call.

You poke the bear, you

gotta get in the ring.

Now, let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go, we're

goin', I'm going.

I'm going, I'm going.

All right, let's go.

(notes on guitar)

(brakes squeaking)

(soft music)

(knocking taps)

- [Rebecca] Hey Justin,

can you get that for me?

(water spraying)

- Sorry, Mom, I'm in the shower.

- Oh.

- Hi.

- Hi, Stewart.

Oh my gosh, did we have a

meeting scheduled for today?

- No no no no, no, I

thought I'd drive by

and drop off some

tulips for you.

- Oh,

okay.

- Oh, sorry.

(car alarm blaring)

(car beeping)

Tulips.

(laughing)

- I thought that maybe Justin

forgot his music again.

- No, not this time,

Jingle Lady.

- Sorry, I just, I wasn't

expecting any company.

- Yeah yeah, I totally

get that, yeah.

- Thanks for

the flowers, though.

- Of course.

Thank you, Jingle Lady.

- Okay.

- Jingle Lady, tulips?

Oh, this is embarrassing.

I'm sorry Rebecca,

I am, I am very sorry.

(door closes)

- Jingle Lady!

Olive, you sneaky little cupid.

Wait a minute.

Oh, please, let me be wrong.

- Wow.

Do I smell pancakes?

- Good morning, sweet pea.

You certainly do.

I'm making them in the

shape of happy faces.

I'm using chocolate

chips for the eyes

and the little smiley mouths.

- Oh, what's the occasion?

- Oh, I just, I had this

revelation last night, that's all.

And I thought that I

would spread the joy

and I invited Olive

over for dinner.

Say, why don't you invite your

little friend Natalie too.

I am making my super

famous baked salmon.

- I didn't know you had

a famous baked salmon.

- Oh, it'll be real

famous after tonight.

Trust me.

I'd like to propose a toast.

To good times, good friends,

and above all, honesty.

Well, let's eat.

- That was the best

salmon I ever had.

- And now I know why you said

it'd be famous after tonight.

- Ah, well nothing

gets passed you

does it, Justin Sean Murphy?

- Mrs. Murphy, is this

salmon farmers or wild?

'Cause I always heard

that wild is way better

than the farm kind

'cause the fish get, like,

all overcrowded and get really

unsanitary in the fish pen.

So, I just wanna know

because we ate it,

so I just wanna know.

- Natalie, my dear sweet

child, please zip it.

- Oh yeah, sorry.

- So listen up, y'all.

To top off this glorious evening

I've come up with

a fun new game.

It's wholesome, exciting

and promotes good healthy

communication skills.

It's called Truth or Truth.

Who wants to play?

- Oh, me me me, I love games.

Do we have--

- Justin.

You first.

- Didn't you make

brownies for desert?

- Truth or Truth?

- Truth.

- Excellent choice.

Who is Cupid's Proxy?

- Oh, um, Rebecca, honey,

I can explain everything.

- No, Justin.

- No, it's not his--

It's not his--

- I am.

- It's not his fault.

I was under the

gun with my editor,

my job was on the

line and I got scared.

He did the first one

as a challenge and then

I published it as Cupid's

Proxy without him knowing.

- And I guess you found out

that Tex was his music teacher

and you took on

persona number three?

- I didn't know who Tex's was.

- Really, Olive?

Next you're gonna tell me

you don't know who

Jingle Lady is either.

- Mom.

- No no, what she did was wrong.

- I'm Jingle Lady also.

I'm the one that figured

out Tex was Stewart.

I wrote the letter and

mailed it to Call Me Cupid.

I begged Olive to print it,

she didn't know I wrote it.

I thought Stewart would see

it and think it was you.

Not really you, but the

pretend you and ask you out.

- [Olive] Oh.

- I can't believe

what I'm hearing.

- None of this

would have happened

if I hadn't gotten

Justin involved.

Justin, I am so sorry.

I was selfish and foolish

and reckless.

- I didn't have to do it.

I was selfish too.

I did it just because

I wanted a new guitar.

- What?

- I agreed to pay him for every

response as Cupid's Proxy.

But then there was that

horrible TV interview.

I just felt like

I'm so dishonest.

It was hard for me to live

with myself after that.

Then, I asked Justin to

teach me how to speak Proxy

but I couldn't get

the hang of it.

All those yos and

bros and the techless,

whatever you call it.

I'm gonna call my

editor in the morning

and set everything straight.

It's probably time for this old

bird to fly the coop anyway.

Oh, Becca, honey, honey,

I hope you can find

a way to forgive me.

I love you, I love Justin.

I would never do anything

to intentionally hurt you,

in a million years.

You're the only family I have.

- I'll call you tomorrow, okay?

- Is it over yet?

Is he still alive?

Should I go home now?

- No, yes and...

yes.

- Tomorrow we'll go see Stewart.

You owe him a very big apology

for deceiving him like that.

- I thought, just maybe,

just maybe you'd like him

and you'd wanna go out.

Never mind, it doesn't matter.

I'm really sorry, Mom.

Really sorry.

I guess I really messed

things up, didn't I?

- Don't worry, kid, your

heart was in the right place.

Besides, this is probably the

kick in the pants I needed.

I need to get back

in the saddle again.

- I'm just really sorry

if you were embarrassed.

- Embarrassed?

Now, why would I be embarrassed?

Because I hit on my

favorite student's mother,

I showed up at her

front door unannounced

with tulips in hand, I

called her Jingle Lady

referring to a

relationship column

that I thought she was

trying to communicate to me

but she has no idea what

I was talking about,

now I gotta see her

in a few minutes.

I wonder how that

confrontation's gonna go.

But why would I be embarrassed?

(laughing)

Well, I guess Cupid got

me with the golden arrow

and got your mom

with the lead one.

- What do you mean?

- If you're fortunate

enough to get to shot

with the golden arrow from cupid

your heart was filled

with love and desire.

But if you get hit with

the blunt tipped lead one

you just have a desire to flee.

It's a bummer there weren't

two golden ones this time.

- Well, I'm not gonna

let you sit there

with a refreshment of some kind.

Young lady, what would you like?

- All righty then, well,

I will have a water.

Straight up, nothing but

the hard stuff for this gal.

- You got it. Coming up.

You know...

I...

I knew your husband.

He was a good man, brave man.

- How did you know him?

- Well, I bought this

place after I retired

from the fire department.

We all knew who he

was, of course, so...

You know, I believe

that some people are put

on this Earth for a reason

and I think his reason

was much bigger than ours.

I believe that.

- Yeah.

- But,

he's not here anymore,

and you are.

You and that little man.

- Okay, buddy.

All good?

- All good.

- Okay.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- I just wanna.

- [Stewart] Sorry.

- No.

- I'm very sorry.

- I guess we'll just put it all--

We'll just put it all behind us.

- Yeah.

- [Rebecca] Okay,

buddy, time to go.

- Take care.

- You'd be so proud of him.

He's protective,

kind and strong.

He sees a need and

he tries to fill it.

Just like his dad.

- Ow.

Hey, Mom, where's the

Parmesan cheese shaker?

What are you guys doing here?

- I'm your movie night date.

- [Natalie] Me too.

It's two girls against one boy

so we'll probably be watching

The Princess Diaries,

Ella Enchanted or

binging reruns of iCarly.

- Or maybe some classics

like Gone With the Wind

or Cleopatra.

- Where's my mom?

(footsteps)

- All right, have fun,

you three.

- Where's the fuzzy slippers?

- Well, I have

something to do tonight.

Hey.

- Hey.

- Heard there was a guy here

who could play the guitar

and string a couple

words together.

- Oh, oh yeah, yeah there is.

Jackson Smith, he's

here Saturday nights

and the ladies love him.

- No, I'm talking about you.

- Oh.

I'm sorry.

Now I'm the one

misunderstanding.

Sorry, after you.

- [Rebecca] Well,

I'm not gonna sing.

- [Stewart] No.

- Smells great.

- Oh, wash up.

We're having company for dinner.

I'm making my super

famous baked salmon.

Is there anything you need to

tell me before they get here?

Chill, I'm just joking.

It's parental humor.

- Not cool.

- [Rebecca] So cool, so cool.

(door knocking)

Oh, can you get that, please?

- [Justin] Hey.

- Hello there.

I have a gift for you.

- [Justin] What?

- Psych.

Tex, it's a gift meant

to be given to somebody

who'll appreciate him like I

did when he was given to me.

- Are you serious?

- Yeah.

- Oh, well, he's also

a fly catcher too.

It's one of his many talents.

- These are for you.

- [Rebecca] Well, thank you.

Dinner's almost ready.

Come on in.

- Hey, what's for dinner?

- Sure, come on in, Natalie.

♪ Is this another chance

at love ♪

♪ I learned a lot

last time around ♪

♪ Are you an angel

from above ♪

♪ This could be

heaven that I found ♪

♪ This could be

heaven that I found ♪

(gentle guitar music)