Cupid, Inc. (2012) Movie Script

HMM.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, "HMM"?

THIS LINE IS VERY LONG.

OH.

IS THAT BAD?

THAT'S GOOD.

MEANS YOU'LL LIVE

MANY, MANY YEARS.

OH, WELL, AS LONG

AS IT DOESN'T INVOLVE

ANY UNDUE WEIGHT GAIN.

THIS LINE IS VERY SHORT.

IS THAT GOOD?

NO.

THAT IS BAD.

THIS MEANS YOU'VE HAD

A VERY DIFFICULT RELATIONSHIP

IN YOUR PAST.

PERHAPS SOMEONE HAS WRONGED YOU

SOMEHOW?

THEY DID GET MY COFFEE ORDER

WRONG THIS MORNING.

YOU MOCK MADAME RENATA?

I SEE PAIN IN THIS HAND.

THIS LINE... VERY CROOKED.

WELL, IS THAT GOOD

OR IS THAT BAD?

THIS MEANS YOU ARE AFRAID

TO TAKE CHANCES IN LIFE.

WELL, WHO ISN'T?

THOSE WHO WOULD FIND LOVE.

ALL RIGHT.

WE WILL HAVE MORE

OF THESE FASCINATING PREDICTIONS

FROM MADAME RENATA

RIGHT AFTER THESE MESSAGES.

AND WE'RE OUT.

RICK!

LOSE THE FORTUNE-TELLER.

- MISS LOVETT, THAT WAS AMAZING.

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

THAT WAS THE WORST SHOW

WE'VE EVER DONE.

THAT WOMAN

WAS A COMPLETE FRAUD.

BUT WHAT SHE SAID

ABOUT YOUR PAST...

SHE WAS FISHING.

SHE'S A FAKE.

I LIKED HER.

EVE, EVE, HOLD ON.

WE CAN'T JUST LOSE

THE PSYCHIC.

WE HAVE ANOTHER SEGMENT LEFT

WITH HER.

YEAH, WELL, SHORTEN IT UP.

IT'S BORING.

CAN YOU GIVE US A MOMENT?

ARE YOU TWO GONNA FIGHT AGAIN?

TRINA, THE PRODUCER

OF THE SHOW AND THE HOST

DO NOT FIGHT;

THEY DISCUSS.

RIGHT.

OKAY, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

HAVE YOU SEEN OUR RATINGS

THIS WEEK?

- NO, BUT I...

- LET ME SPARE YOU

HAVING TO READ THEM, OKAY?

WE WERE BEATEN AGAIN

BY THAT COURTROOM SHOW

ON CHANNEL EIGHT.

THE ONE

WITH THE SINGING JUDGE?

IT DOESN'T MEAN

SHE'S NOT WINNING OUR TIME SLOT.

WHAT HAVE WE GOT?

MADAME SPOOKY EYES

AND HER PALM READING.

PEOPLE LIKE IT.

NOT ENOUGH.

RICK, ONE MORE DROP

IN THE RATINGS,

AND WE'LL BE SELLING

EXERCISE BALLS

AT 2:00 A.M.

OKAY.

I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING.

TRINA!

SO WHAT DID YOU THINK

OF THE SHOW TODAY?

I DON'T WATCH TELEVISION.

I HAVE ENOUGH TROUBLE

TRYING TO CARE

ABOUT THE PEOPLE

IN MY OWN LIFE.

GOOD NIGHT, CAROLYN.

AND MY NAME IS JANICE.

THANK YOU.

YES, THANK YOU.

GOOD EVENING.

GOOD EVENING, MISS LOVETT.

TABLE FOR ONE

AS USUAL?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO RUB IT IN,

LOUIS.

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

MAY I?

THIS WAY, PLEASE.

HELLO.

EXCUSE ME.

I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU.

MM-HMM.

THIS IS VERY FORWARD OF ME,

BUT I COULDN'T HELP

NOTICING YOU HERE,

AND MY NAME IS DAVID.

HELLO, DAVID.

MY NAME IS EVE.

I KNEW IT.

IT'S HER.

SEE, WE HAVE A BET.

MY FRIEND SAID IT WASN'T YOU,

BUT I SAID IT WAS.

USED TO WATCH YOUR SHOW

ALL THE TIME.

- USED TO?

- WELL, NOW WE WATCH

THAT SINGING JUDGE SHOW

OVER ON CHANNEL EIGHT.

ANYWAY, HE'S GOTTA BUY ME

A DRINK NOW,

SO THANKS.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

YOU ENJOY THAT.

YOU HAVE NO NEW MESSAGES.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA DIE ALONE.

OH.

OH, TAXI.

NO, IT'S OKAY.

REALLY, NANCY.

I HAVE COME TO TERMS

WITH THE IDEA

OF BEING SINGLE

FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

WHAT, BECAUSE

SOME FORTUNE-TELLER SAID SO?

TAXI!

NO.

IT'S NOT THAT.

I HAVE A VERY FULL LIFE.

I HAVE A CAREER.

BESIDES, THERE ARE

MORE IMPORTANT THINGS THAN LOVE.

LIKE WHAT?

LIKE MY SHOW.

THE RATINGS ARE IN THE TOILET.

YOU KNOW,

IF YOU WERE MY PATIENT,

I'D SAY THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE

GOING ON HERE BESIDES RATINGS.

TAXI!

HONEY, MY RATINGS

ARE EVERYTHING.

BUT THANKS

FOR THE FREE THERAPY.

MAYBE YOU JUST NEED

A HOLIDAY.

WHY DON'T YOU COME TO NEW YORK

FOR A WEEKEND?

WE CAN DO THE TOWN.

OH, I WISH I COULD, BUT...

BUT WHAT?

COME ON.

IT'LL BE FUN.

MAYBE YOU'LL EVEN MEET

A NICE GUY

AND FALL IN LOVE.

OOH, TAXI!

TRUST ME, NANCY.

THE LAST THING I NEED

IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW

IS LOVE.

YES?

DR. SIDNEY TWADDLE?

IT'S PRONOUNCED TWADDELL.

WELL, CONGRATULATIONS, SIR.

YOU JUST WON AN ALL-EXPENSE-PAID

TWO-WEEK VACATION CRUISE

TO THE SOUTH PACIFIC.

YEAH, I'M AFRAID

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

I AM SCHEDULED TO APPEAR

ON A TELEVISION PROGRAM

LATER THIS AFTERNOON.

OH, COME ON,

FREE CRUISE.

DANCING GIRLS?

ALL THE COCONUTS

YOU CAN EAT.

I'M ALLERGIC TO COCONUTS.

IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO

TO HELP YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND?

NO, I'M AFRAID NOT.

THANK YOU.

- HEY, TWADDLE.

- YES.

HAVE FUN IN TAHITI.

SHE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU,

YOU KNOW.

- OH, SHUSH.

- I'M HERE, I'M HERE,

I'M HERE.

I WAS UP ALL NIGHT READING

THIS BOOK BY TODAY'S GUEST.

- GOOD MORNING, MISS LOVETT.

- GOOD MORNING, BOB.

- IT'S BEN.

- UH, MISS LOVETT,

ABOUT TODAY'S GUEST...

YES, DR. SIDNEY TWADDELL.

AND HE WROTE THIS BOOK

DISSECTION OF LOVE.

- AND HE'S NOT HERE.

- WHAT? WHY?

HE HAD TO CANCEL, BUT

MR. DAYTON FOUND A REPLACEMENT.

A REPLACEMENT?

WHO?

AH.

VERNON GART.

CUPID INCORPORATED.

PLEASURE TO MEET YOU,

MISS LOVETT.

CUPID INCORPORATED.

NOW WHAT EXACTLY

IS THAT?

CUPID INCORPORATED?

WELL, WE OFFER

A VERY SPECIALIZED SERVICE,

ONE THAT THE HEAD OFFICE FEELS

YOU ARE IN DESPERATE NEED OF.

THE HEAD OFFICE?

YES.

ACCORDING TO OUR RECORDS,

YOU ARE A COMPLETE FAILURE

IN THE ROMANCE DEPARTMENT.

THIS HAS CAUSED YOU TO CLOSE

YOURSELF DOWN EMOTIONALLY

TO THE WORLD AROUND YOU.

AND IS IN LARGE PART RESPONSIBLE

FOR THE UNHAPPINESS THAT YOU

FEEL, WHICH YOU TRY TO SMOTHER

WITH THE EMPTY TRAPPINGS

OF TELEVISION CELEBRITY.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE

TALKING ABOUT AT ALL, MR. GART.

- MISS LOVETT.

- WHAT?

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU

FIND LOVE.

WILL YOU EXCUSE ME

FOR A MOMENT?

YEAH, I DEFINITELY...

CAN I CALL YOU BACK?

WOULD YOU MIND TELLING ME

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I MEAN THERE'S SOME WEIRDO

IN MY OFFICE

TELLING ME THAT I AM A FAILURE

AT LOVE, BUT HE'S HERE TO HELP.

YES, I... I WAS GONNA

TELL YOU ABOUT HIM.

WHEN? WHEN WERE YOU

GONNA TELL ME, RICK?

WHEN I WAS ON THE AIR?

I GOT A CALL

FROM DR. TWADDELL.

SOMETHING ABOUT BEING

ON A BOAT IN TAHITI.

IT WAS A BAD CONNECTION.

I COULDN'T GET IT ALL.

ANYWAY, WE WERE STUCK,

AND THIS GUY'S NAME

SUDDENLY CAME UP,

AND HE'S AVAILABLE.

AND HE COMES HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

OKAY, THIS IS EXACTLY

WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT, RICK.

THIS IS WHY

OUR NUMBERS ARE DOWN.

IT IS THE SAME OLD SELF-HELP

AUTHORS AND PSYCHICS

AND FORTUNE-TELLERS.

WE NEED SOMETHING FRESH,

SOMETHING ORIGINAL.

- YOU'RE RIGHT.

- WHAT?

WHICH IS WHY WE'RE LUCKY

THAT VERNON GART

WAS DROPPED INTO OUR LAPS.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I'M TALKING ABOUT...

VALENTINE'S DAY.

"EVE'S WEEK OF LOVE."

HUH?

FOUR DAYS

OF ROMANCE-THEMED PROGRAMS,

STARTING WITH VERNON GART,

OUR VERY OWN REPRESENTATIVE

FROM CUPID INCORPORATED,

AND FINISHING

WITH A LIVE BROADCAST

IN THE STUDIO.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

NO.

THIS IS THE KIND OF THING

THAT COULD BRING OUR NUMBERS

BACK UP TO THE TOP.

I'M NOT DOING THAT.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE, RICK,

IT IS CORNY

AND CHEESY

AND OLD-FASHIONED.

LOVE IS CORNY AND CHEESY

AND OLD-FASHIONED, EVE.

THAT'S WHY PEOPLE

LOVE BEING IN LOVE.

HAS IT BEEN SO LONG

THAT YOU FORGOT WHAT IT'S LIKE?

WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED

TO MEAN?

EVE,

YOU DON'T LET ANYBODY IN.

MAYBE THAT'S WHY OUR AUDIENCE

IS TUNING US OUT.

WELL, I'M SORRY

THAT YOU DON'T THINK

I'VE GOT WHAT IT TAKES

TO BE THE HOST ANYMORE.

OH, PERHAPS I'LL TAKE UP

SINGING.

AND THEN I CAN GIVE THE JUDGE

ON CHANNEL EIGHT

A REAL RUN FOR HER MONEY.

EVE...

AND HERE WE GO.

ANOTHER EXCITING ADVENTURE

IN TELEVISION HISTORY.

YOUR ENTHUSIASM IS INSPIRING,

MARV.

WELL, I DON'T NEED THIS,

YOU KNOW.

I WAS NOMINATED

FOR AN OSCAR.

IT WAS A STUDENT OSCAR,

AND YOU LOST.

IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE...

HERE'S YOUR HOST,

EVE LOVETT.

OH, THANK YOU.

HI, EVERYONE,

AND WELCOME TO THE SHOW.

I AM EVE LOVETT,

YOUR HOST,

AND TODAY

OUR VERY SPECIAL GUEST

IS A REMARKABLE MAN

WHO IS GOING TO TELL US ALL

A LITTLE BIT

ABOUT WHAT IT MEANS

TO BE IN LOVE.

PLEASE WELCOME

MR. VERNON GART.

WELCOME, MR. GART.

OH, PLEASE.

JUST CALL ME VERNON.

OKAY, VERNON,

THANK YOU.

NOW, TO START THINGS OFF,

WHY DON'T YOU TELL

OUR AUDIENCE A LITTLE BIT

ABOUT WHAT IT IS THAT YOU DO.

WELL, FRANKLY,

MISS LOVETT,

I'D RATHER JUST TALK

ABOUT YOU.

- SORRY, ME?

- MM-HMM.

THIS SHOULD

BE INTERESTING.

I'M REALLY JUST HERE

TO HELP YOU FIND LOVE.

WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH,

BUT I DON'T THINK

I NEED HELP

IN THAT DEPARTMENT.

OH, I BELIEVE YOU DO.

YOU'VE NEEDED MY HELP

SINCE ANDREW VOIVONICH.

WH... HOW DO YOU KNOW

ABOUT HIM?

THE YOUNG BOY WHO DUMPED

YOU IN THE SEVENTH GRADE?

I HAVE MY SOURCES.

AND, OF COURSE,

THERE WAS CHAZ LELAND,

THE HIGH-SCHOOL FOOTBALL

PLAYER WHO TWO-TIMED YOU

WITH MARY-LOUISE BAUMGARTEN

AT THE SENIOR PROM.

OKAY, COME ON,

WHO TOLD HIM?

WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT?

THE WORST WAS THAT JERKY

GUITAR PLAYER IN COLLEGE,

DARIN PALMATERRI.

WHAT?

I NEVER TOLD ANYONE

ABOUT THAT.

WHO IS THIS GUY?

HAVEN'T YOU HAD

JUST THE WORST LUCK?

AND THAT'S WHAT WE'RE WORRIED

ABOUT AT THE HEAD OFFICE.

YOU'VE BEEN HURT SO MANY TIMES

THAT YOU'VE GIVEN UP ON LOVE.

SO I'M HERE

TO HELP YOU FIND IT AGAIN.

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH,

RICK.

ALL RIGHT, CUT, CUT.

EXCUSE ME.

RICK, RICK.

WHAT IS GOING ON

OUT HERE?

I WAS JUST ABOUT

TO ASK YOU THE SAME THING.

DID YOU SET

THIS WHOLE THING UP?

I HAD NOTHING

TO DO WITH THIS.

WHAT DID YOU DO?

DID YOU GO BACK TO MY HIGH

SCHOOL YEARBOOK OR SOMETHING?

I SWEAR,

I DIDN'T TELL HIM ANYTHING.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW

ANY OF THAT STUFF.

OKAY, THEN WHO IS HE?

ONE OF YOUR

MIND READERS?

I DON'T KNOW,

WHY DON'T WE ASK HIM?

OKAY, I WILL.

WHERE'D HE GO?

DID ANYONE

SEE HIM LEAVE?

NO, NO, NO, THAT'S OKAY,

I'LL DEAL WITH IT LATER.

NO SIGN OF HIM

ANYWHERE IN THE BUILDING.

HE MUST HAVE JUST LEFT.

I MEAN, YOU WERE NOT VERY

POLITE TO HIM, YOU KNOW.

OH, SO NOW

IT'S MY FAULT.

WELL, HE GOT UP

AND WALKED AWAY

FROM THE INTERVIEW WITHOUT

ANY EXPLANATION.

POOR GUY MUST HAVE

FELT COMPLETELY INSULTED.

YOU COULD STOP THIS,

ANY TIME, YOU KNOW.

STOP WHAT?

I HAVE TO ADMIT THOUGH,

IT'S AN ORIGINAL IDEA.

TALK SHOW GUEST

AS PERFORMANCE ART.

EVE, I TOLD YOU,

I HAD NEVER MET THIS GUY BEFORE.

HIS PUBLICIST CALLED,

SUGGESTING HIM FOR THE SHOW,

AND WE WERE IN A SPOT,

SO I...

NUH-UH,

HAVE IT YOUR WAY.

BUT THE NEXT TIME YOU

DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS,

MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA

TO CLEAR IT WITH THE HOST FIRST.

WHAT ARE YOU

DOING IN HERE?

CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME?

I SHOULDN'T HAVE TRIED

TO DISCUSS

SUCH A PRIVATE MATTER

IN A PUBLIC FORUM.

I DO NOT KNOW WHERE

YOU GOT YOUR INFORMATION,

BUT I DO NOT APPRECIATE

MY LOVE LIFE BEING SPREAD

ALL ACROSS AMERICA

ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.

LISTEN,

I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET.

BUT YOU'RE A VERY DIFFICULT

PERSON TO GET A HOLD OF,

AND THE HEAD OFFICE FELT THAT

TIME WAS RUNNING OUT FOR YOU.

I DON'T CARE

WHAT THE HEAD OFFICE FELT.

YOU NEED

TO GET OUT OF HERE.

RITA!

PLEASE CALL SECURITY.

MISS LOVETT,

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

NO, RITA,

I AM NOT ALL RIGHT.

WHY DID YOU

LET HIM IN MY OFFICE?

HIM?

HE...

I...

MISS LOVETT,

CAN I GET YOU SOME TEA?

NO, THANK YOU,

RITA.

YES,

HE WAS IN MY OFFICE.

NO, I DON'T KNOW

HOW HE GOT THERE, RICK.

BUT I WOULD APPRECIATE IT,

IN THE FUTURE,

IF YOU WOULD SCREEN MY GUESTS

A LITTLE MORE THOROUGHLY

BEFORE YOU LET ANY CRACKPOT

WITH A BOOK DEAL ON MY SHOW.

OKAY.

NICE WHEELS.

WHAT...

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I THOUGHT THIS WOULD

BE A MORE PRIVATE PLACE TO TALK.

WHO ARE YOU?

I TOLD YOU, MY NAME

IS VERNON GART AND I WORK FOR...

YEAH, YEAH,

CUPID INCORPORATED.

I GOT THAT PART.

WHAT DO YOU

WANT FROM ME?

IT'S NOT WHAT I WANT

FROM YOU, MISS LOVETT.

IT'S WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE

FROM YOURSELF.

WHAT DOES THAT

EVEN MEAN?

WELL, ACCORDING TO YOUR

LOVE PROFILE.

MY WHAT?

YOUR LOVE PROFILE,

AT THE HEAD OFFICE.

EVERYONE HAS ONE.

AND YOURS SAYS THAT

YOU HAVE COMMITMENT ISSUES.

SO NOT TRUE.

UH, REALLY?

WHAT WAS THE LONGEST

RELATIONSHIP YOU EVER HAD?

A YEAR.

UH-UH.

SAM CALLAHAN, AN INSURANCE

SALESMAN FROM OMAHA, NEBRASKA,

IT LASTED SIX MONTHS,

A WEEK, AND AN AFTERNOON.

THAT'S A NICE RUN,

BUT IT'S NOT EXACTLY

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA,

NOW IS IT?

WELL, WHAT DOES THAT

HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

BECAUSE UNTIL YOU CAN SEE

THAT LOVE CAN ACTUALLY WORK,

YOU WON'T FIND IT

FOR YOURSELF.

THAT IS WHY THE HEAD OFFICE

HAS AUTHORIZED ME

TO OFFER YOU A DEAL.

A DEAL?

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS HELP

ONE COUPLE FALL IN LOVE.

AND THEN WHAT?

AND THEN YOUR ONE,

TRUE LOVE

WILL BE REVEALED TO YOU.

MY ONE, TRUE LOVE,

COME ON.

THAT DOESN'T EVEN EXIST.

LOVE IS NOT FOR SISSIES.

THERE'S ALWAYS GOING TO BE BUMPS

AND BRUISES ALONG THE WAY.

BUT DO YOU REALLY WANT

TO LIVE YOUR LIFE WITHOUT IT?

THIS IS YOUR CHANCE

TO FIND LOVE, EVE.

OH, AND ONE MORE THING.

THIS OFFER EXPIRES

FEBRUARY 14TH.

IF YOU CAN'T MAKE

A LOVE MATCH BY THEN,

THEN YOU'RE

OUT OF LUCK FOREVER.

WHAT...

THAT'S LESS THAN A WEEK AWAY.

THAT'S...

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE TWO

PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE THAT FAST?

MISS LOVETT,

IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

WHY DON'T YOU ASK HIM?

ARE YOU SURE

ABOUT THAT TEA?

OKAY, MR. GART.

LOVE IS IN THE AIR.

LET'S SEE

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

I'LL HELP YOU OUT.

OKAY, STEADY.

OKAY.

GOOD MORNING,

CAROLYN.

SURE.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

OKAY, OKAY,

HERE WE GO.

OH, WAIT.

SORRY.

OH, YOU TWO.

SORRY?

NO, DON'T PAY

ANY ATTENTION TO ME.

I JUST LOVE WATCHING

THE TWO OF YOU TOGETHER.

IT'S SO CUTE.

UH, THANKS.

"THANKS."

SO ADORABLE.

THIS IS GOING TO BE

EASIER THAN I THOUGHT.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW

ABOUT DOUG AND TRINA?

AND A HAPPY GOOD MORNING

TO YOU TOO.

YOU KNOW, THE SOUND MAN

AND MY MAKEUP GIRL.

I KNOW WHO THEY ARE,

I'M JUST SURPRISED THAT YOU DO.

TELL ME A LITTLE

ABOUT THEM.

THEY'RE GOOD KIDS,

HARD WORKERS.

HE WANTS TO BE A DIRECTOR,

AND I THINK

AND I THINK SHE WANTS

TO OPEN A DAY SPA.

THOUGH SHE MOSTLY

SEEMS INTERESTED

IN FINDING A BOYFRIEND.

OH, REALLY.

YEAH,

WHY THE SUDDEN INTEREST?

OH, NOTHING,

JUST A NEW RESOLUTION OF MINE.

TRY TO GET TO KNOW

THE CREW A LITTLE BIT BETTER.

REALLY?

WHY DOES THAT

SURPRISE YOU?

BECAUSE UNTIL NOW

I DIDN'T THINK

YOU REALIZED

THAT WE HAD A CREW.

TRINA,

LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

SURE, MISS LOVETT.

OH, PLEASE,

DISPENSE WITH THE FORMALITIES.

CALL ME EVE.

OKAY, EVE.

TELL ME ABOUT

YOUR LOVE LIFE.

MY WHAT?

YOU KNOW, WHAT KIND OF GUYS

DO YOU LIKE?

I DON'T KNOW,

IT KIND OF VARIES.

YEAH, WELL, WHAT ABOUT

SOMEONE LIKE DOUG?

WHAT DO YOU THINK

OF HIM?

UH, DOUG'S AWESOME.

AWESOME, OH,

WELL THAT'S GOOD.

SO YOU'D SAY THAT YOU WERE

ATTRACTED TO HIM?

UM, I DON'T KNOW,

I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

EVE LOVETT SHOW,

15 MINUTE STUDIO CALL.

15 MINUTES.

THINK ABOUT IT.

HEY, WHERE YOU BEEN?

WE'RE READY TO ROLL.

I KNOW, I, UM...

I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY MIC.

DOUG.

HEY, HONEY.

I'M HAVING A LITTLE PROBLEM

WITH MY MIC,

COULD YOU TAKE A PEAK

AT THAT FOR ME PLEASE?

SURE, MISS LOVETT,

NO PROBLEM.

OH, CALL ME EVE.

REALLY?

ABSOLUTELY, THAT'S WHAT

ALL MY FRIENDS CALL ME, EVE.

FOR INSTANCE, UH,

TRINA, OVER THERE, TRINA.

SHE'S MY REALLY GOOD,

OLD FRIEND.

SHE'S BEEN WITH ME, LIKE,

12 WEEKS NOW.

- YEAH?

- MM-HMM.

WE TALK,

WE TALK ABOUT THINGS

LIKE OUR CAREERS, TRAVEL,

GUYS.

THAT'S NICE.

I SHOULDN'T BE TELLING

YOU THIS, BUT, UM.

SHE TOLD ME

THAT SHE LIKES YOU.

- SHE DOES?

- MM-HMM.

IN FACT,

SHE USED THE WORD, "AWESOME."

THAT'S REALLY NICE OF HER.

TRINA'S SINGLE,

YOU KNOW.

RIGHT, NO,

I UNDERSTAND...

EVE, PLACES.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT.

HI, EVERYONE, AND WELCOME

TO THE EVE LOVETT SHOW.

I'M YOUR HOST,

EVE LOVETT.

HEY, VALENTINE'S DAY

IS COMING.

AND WE ARE GOING

TO CELEBRATE IT

WITH A VERY SPECIAL WEEK

ON OUR SHOW

THAT WE LIKE TO CALL

"EVE'S WEEK OF LOVE."

CUE THE INSULIN.

AND WHAT BETTER WAY

TO KICK THINGS OFF,

IN TRUE VALENTINE FASHION,

THAN A VISIT FROM

OUR FAVORITE CELEBRITY CHEF,

ANTONIO CAPRICOLA.

CIAO, ANTONIO.

IT'S SUCH A WONDERFUL

TIME OF THE YEAR.

SO FULL

OF LOVE AND ROMANCE.

OH, IT SURE IS.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING

TO MAKE FOR US TODAY?

WHEN I THINK

OF VALENTINE'S DAY,

I ALWAYS THINK OF CHOCOLATE.

MM.

SO I AM MAKING A WONDERFUL,

OLD ITALIAN RECIPE

FOR HOT CHOCOLATO.

OH, IT SMELLS HEAVENLY.

WAIT UNTIL YOU TASTE IT.

OH, THAT IS AMAZING.

GRAZIE,

SI, SI, SI, SI.

IT IS TRUE

WHAT THEY SAY

ABOUT CHOCOLATE

BEING A LOVE POTION?

THAT'S WHAT

THE ANCIENTS BELIEVED.

AND IF IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH

FOR THEM,

IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

WELL, LET'S PUT IT

TO THE TEST, SHALL WE?

WHERE'S TRINA?

HONEY?

TRINA,

COME ON UP HERE.

AND, DOUG, YOU TOO,

COME ON UP HERE.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

GIVE A WARM ROUND OF APPLAUSE

FOR OUR BRILLIANT

SOUND MAN, DOUG,

AND MY PERSONAL

MAKEUP ARTIST, TRINA.

WHAT'S SHE DOING?

UH, CAMERA ONE GO FOR TRINA,

THREE TAKE DOUG.

COME ON,

PUT THAT THING DOWN.

COME UP HERE,

YOU TWO.

WAIT UNTIL YOU TRY THIS,

IT IS ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS.

GIVE THAT A SHOT THERE.

HERE WE GO.

HUH?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- WOW.

- YUM.

SI, SI.

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE

TO TELL US IF IT REALLY WORKS.

YOU TWO HAVE BEEN

SUCH GOOD SPORTS

THAT I WOULD LIKE TO OFFER

YOU DINNER FOR TWO

AT MAURO RISTORANTE,

ONE OF THE MOST

ROMANTIC SPOTS IN TOWN.

THAT IS FOR YOU.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S WEEK,

EVERYONE.

ONE MORE ROUND OF APPLAUSE

FOR THESE TWO KIDS.

THEY MAKE THE MOST

ADORABLE COUPLE.

ALL RIGHT,

WE'LL BE BACK.

EVE, CAN I HAVE

A WORD WITH YOU IN PRIVATE?

I HAVEN'T GOT MUCH TIME.

- WON'T TAKE A MINUTE.

- OH, OKAY.

WHAT WAS WITH THAT STUNT

YOU PULLED THIS AFTERNOON?

WHAT STUNT?

DRAGGING DOUG AND TRINA

UP ON STAGE.

WHAT DID YOU THINK

YOU WERE DOING?

OH, YOU SAID

IT WAS LOVE WEEK.

I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE

WATCHING TWO PEOPLE

FALL FOR EACH OTHER

WAS A GOOD WAY TO START.

- FALL FOR EACH OTHER?

- MM-HMM.

I'VE HAD MY EYE

ON THOSE TWO.

THERE'S DEFINITELY SOMETHING

GOING ON BETWEEN THEM.

I WAS JUST GIVING THEM

A LITTLE NUDGE IS ALL.

- A LITTLE NUDGE?

- MM-HMM.

THEY WERE EVENTUALLY

GOING TO GET TOGETHER,

I JUST THOUGHT

I'D SPEED THINGS UP.

WELL, YOU SURE DID,

EVE.

DO YOU KNOW

DOUG IS ENGAGED?

- WHAT?

- TO MAUREEN.

- WHO'S MAUREEN?

- THE PROPS GIRL.

OH, I THOUGHT HER NAME

WAS ALICE.

THE POINT IS YOU JUST

SET UP HER FIANCEE

ON A DATE

WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.

OH, NO.

WHY DIDN'T I KNOW

THOSE TWO WERE ENGAGED?

MAYBE THEY DIDN'T

REALIZE THEY HAD

TO CLEAR IT

WITH YOU FIRST.

THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.

I GOT TO GO TALK TO THEM.

NO.

YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH

DAMAGE ALREADY.

HEY, THAT'S NOT FAIR.

I WAS TRYING TO DO

A NICE THING.

I KNOW THAT, EVE.

BUT THE NEXT TIME YOU DECIDE

TO BEHAVE LIKE A HUMAN BEING,

GIVE ME A HEADS-UP,

OKAY?

HEADS UP.

THANKS.

NOT AS EASY

AS IT LOOKS, HUH?

HAVE YOU BEEN HERE

THIS WHOLE TIME?

LONG ENOUGH.

HERE, HAVE A BON-BON.

I FIND CHOCOLATE TAKES

THE STING OFF FAILURE.

ALL RIT,

YEAH.

GOD, THEY WERE SO PERFECT

FOR EACH OTHER.

WERE THEY?

REALLY?

OR WERE YOU JUST

TRYING TOO HARD?

- MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

- OF COURSE I'M RIGHT.

THIS IS MY

AREA OF EXPERTISE.

WELL, THEN

GIVE ME SOME TIPS.

OH, OKAY, WELL,

FIRST OFF.

WHAT DO YOU REALLY

KNOW ABOUT DOUG AND TRINA?

WELL,

THEY'RE REALLY GOOD KIDS.

DOUG WANTS

TO BE A DIRECTOR.

AND TRINA...

WHAT ARE THEIR LAST NAMES?

EITHER ONE.

I DON'T KNOW.

WHERE ARE THEY FROM?

I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT ARE THEIR HOPES,

THEIR DREAMS,

THEIR DISAPPOINTMENTS?

I DO NOT KNOW.

EXACTLY.

THE ONLY THING YOU DO KNOW IS

WHAT RICK TOLD YOU ABOUT THEM.

YOU REALLY DO KNOW EVERYTHING,

DON'T YOU?

MM, NOT EVERYTHING,

JUST ENOUGH.

HERE,

HAVE ANOTHER BON-BON.

SEE, YOU WON'T BE ABLE

TO HELP ANYONE FALL IN LOVE,

INCLUDING YOURSELF,

UNTIL YOU FIND OUT

WHAT REALLY

MAKES PEOPLE TICK.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED

TO DO THAT?

JUST LISTEN.

LET SOMEONE ELSE TALK

ONCE IN AWHILE.

TAKE AN INTEREST

IN SOMEBODY

OTHER THAN YOURSELF.

ALL RIGHT,

MAYBE I'LL TRY.

HMM, BETTER DO

MORE THAN THAT.

YOU ONLY GOT THREE DAYS

LEFT UNTIL VALENTINE'S.

BUT WHAT...

HI.

MAIL'S HERE.

YES,

I CAN SEE THAT.

WELL, I GUESS I BETTER

GET BACK TO WORK.

PLACE PRETTY MUCH SHUTS DOWN

WITHOUT ME.

NICE TO SEE YOU,

MISS LOVETT.

RITA, SEE YOU AROUND.

MMHMM.

OH, UH, MISS LOVETT.

YES?

I WAS JUST WONDERING

IF I COULD LEAVE

A LITTLE BIT EARLY TONIGHT,

I HAVE A GAME.

A GAME?

YEAH, I COACH

A GIRLS BASKETBALL TEAM.

I DID NOT KNOW THAT.

WELL, I DIDN'T THINK

IT WOULD INTEREST YOU.

NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.

RITA,

ARE YOU SINGLE?

UNFORTUNATELY,

YES.

NOTHING ON THE HORIZON,

NO SECRET BOYFRIENDS

I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?

NOPE, NOT A ONE.

- GOOD.

- I'M SORRY?

HOW WOULD LIKE A LITTLE

COMPANY AT YOUR GAME TONIGHT?

WE'LL SNEAK IN

A LITTLE GIRL TALK.

- OOH, OUR PIZZA'S HERE.

- OH, HERE WE GO.

GET READY, GIRLS.

THANK YOU.

SO TELL ME ABOUT

THE GUY IN THE MAILROOM.

- BEN?

- MM-HMM.

WHAT ABOUT HIM?

OH, COME ON,

I SEE YOUR FACE LIGHT UP

WHEN HE COMES INTO A ROOM.

NOBODY GETS THAT EXCITED

ABOUT MAIL.

OH, IT'S THAT OBVIOUS?

SLIGHTLY.

DO YOU EVER,

YOU KNOW.

YOU EVER THINK ABOUT,

YOU KNOW, YOU AND HIM?

TOGETHER?

OH, NO,

I COULDN'T.

I MEAN, I SEE HIM

AT WORK EVERY DAY,

BUT I DON'T REALLY

KNOW MUCH ABOUT HIM.

WELL, IS HE SINGLE?

YES.

WELL, YOU HAVE

THAT IN COMMON.

COME ON, WHAT ELSE?

I KNOW HE LIKES THE LAKERS

ALMOST AS MUCH AS I DO.

ALL RIGHT,

PERFECT.

WHAT'S STOPPING YOU,

GIRL?

OH, MISS LOVETT.

I MEAN, EVE.

I WOULD BE TOO SCARED

TO EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

I MEAN, I WOULDN'T EVEN

KNOW HOW TO START.

WELL, YOU MAY NOT

HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT.

OH, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I DON'T KNOW,

FATE MAY LEND A HAND.

COMING.

COMING, I'M...

HERE I COME.

I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT

QUESTION TO ASK YOU.

EVE, COME ON IN.

TELL ME,

WAS IT ONE GUY

WHO RUINED IT

FOR THE REST OF US,

OR DO YOU JUST SORT OF HATE

THE WHOLE SPECIES ON PRINCIPLE?

OH, RIGHT.

AM I INTERRUPTING

ANYTHING?

JUST SLEEP, EVE.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

OKAY, LAKERS,

BASKETBALL, RIGHT?

YOU'RE KIDDING?

NO, I JUST...

I GET MIXED UP.

WHY THE SUDDEN INTEREST

IN SPORTS?

OH, WELL, I WAS OUT TONIGHT

WITH RITA.

YOUR ASSISTANT?

YEAH, WHY DOES THAT

SURPRISE YOU?

WELL, CONSIDERING

FOR THE FIRST EIGHT WEEKS

YOU KNEW HER,

YOU CALLED HER BRENDA.

SO, WE WERE OUT,

AND WE WERE TALKING ABOUT

WHAT HUGE FANS

OF THE LAKERS WE WERE.

A SECOND AGO, YOU DIDN'T EVEN

KNOW WHAT SPORT THEY PLAYED.

I TOLD YOU,

I GET CONFUSED.

I WANT TO TAKE RITA

TO ONE OF THOSE LAKERS MATCHES.

- THEY'RE CALLED GAMES.

- GAMES, RIGHT.

UM, SO, DO YOU JUST

GO THERE AND GET A TICKET?

OR DO YOU HAVE TO PHONE AHEAD

AND MAKE A RESERVATION?

I'M GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THIS

FOR YOU THROUGH THE COMPANY.

- REALLY?

- YEAH, I DON'T WANT

YOU TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH

ALL THE TROUBLE

OF PHONING AHEAD

AND MAKING A RESERVATION,

SO I WILL GET THE TICKETS

AND I WILL DROP THEM OFF

AT YOUR OFFICE

TOMORROW MORNING.

AH, YOU'RE A LIFESAVER.

SO WHAT'S THIS

ALL ABOUT, ANYWAY?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, OBVIOUSLY

YOU'RE UP TO SOMETHING.

AND I'M JUST CURIOUS

WHAT IT IS.

YOU'RE A VERY SUSPICIOUS MAN,

RICK DAYTON.

THAT'S NOT ATTRACTIVE.

- NIGHT.

WOW.

GOOD MORNING,

CAROLYN.

REALLY?

GOOD MORNING, BEN.

MISS LOVETT.

MISS LOVETT?

WHAT ARE YOU

DOING HERE?

DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

QUITE THE CONTRARY.

I CAME DOWN TO TELL YOU WHAT

A GOOD JOB YOU'VE BEEN DOING.

OH, THANKS.

I WAS OUT WITH MY ASSISTANT,

RITA, LAST NIGHT.

YOU KNOW RITA,

MY ASSISTANT?

AH, SURE.

WE WENT TO

ONE OF HER GAMES.

SHE COACHES A GIRLS BASKETBALL

TEAM, DID YOU KNOW THAT?

I DID NOT KNOW THAT.

YEAH, SHE REALLY LOVES

HER BASKETBALL, THAT RITA.

REALLY INTO IT.

YOU'RE INTO BASKETBALL TOO,

AREN'T YOU, BEN?

UH, YEAH, ACTUALLY

I'M A PRETTY BIG LAKERS FAN.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

SHE... SHE ACTUALLY

MENTIONED THAT.

SHE DID?

TALKED QUITE A BIT

ABOUT YOU LAST NIGHT.

- REALLY?

- MM-HMM.

BEN, COULD YOU

DO ME A SMALL FAVOR?

ANYTHING, MISS LOVETT.

ALL RIGHT,

I HAVE A PACKAGE

THAT ABSOLUTELY

HAS TO GO OUT THIS MORNING.

SO IF YOU COULD MEET ME

IN MY OFFICE IN ABOUT, UH,

TEN MINUTES?

YEAH, NO PROBLEM.

ALL RIGHT.

TEN MINUTES,

DON'T BE LATE.

MISS LOVETT.

- GOOD MORNING, ALICE.

- IT'S MAUREEN.

OH, MAUREEN.

MAUREEN.

DO...

DO YOU HAVE A SECOND?

CERTAINLY, YES,

ABSOLUTELY.

IT'S ABOUT YOU

PAYING FOR DINNER

FOR TRINA

AND MY FIANCEE LAST NIGHT.

THAT, I AM SO,

SO SORRY.

IT WAS JUST A TERRIBLE

MISUNDERSTANDING.

AND, MAUREEN,

I AM SICK ABOUT IT.

AND I WOULD LIKE

TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU SOMEHOW.

PERHAPS IF I, UM,

COULD BUY DINNER

FOR YOU AND DOUG.

OH, NO,

I DON'T THINK SO.

WELL, PLEASE, IT WOULD

MAKE ME FEEL SO BETTER.

NO, I MEAN,

DINNER WOULD BE GREAT.

BUT NOT WITH DOUG.

BEG PARDON?

HE AND TRINA

STAYED OUT ALL NIGHT.

OH, OH,

OH, NO.

YOU ACTUALLY DID ME

A REALLY BIG FAVOR THOUGH,

YOU KNOW, YOU SHOWED ME

WHAT KIND OF GUY DOUG REALLY IS.

TO THINK I ALMOST MARRIED

THAT CREEP.

THANKS, MISS LOVETT.

OH, SURE,

NO PROBLEM, BRENDA.

OKAY, COULD YOU GIVE THESE

TO HER WHEN SHE GETS IN, PLEASE?

BUT LISTEN...

I'M HERE, I'M HERE, I'M HERE.

HI, MORNING MISS LOV...

EVE.

SORRY, I'M STILL

GETTING USED TO THAT.

GET USED TO IT.

- THIS IS YOUR LUCKY DAY.

- OH, DON'T I KNOW IT.

COME ON, GET IN THERE.

RITA, I'M EXPECTING

A VERY IMPORTANT PACKAGE

THIS MORNING, SO I NEED YOU TO

STAY RIGHT THERE AT YOUR DESK.

UNDERSTAND?

DO NOT LEAVE YOUR DESK.

GOT IT.

OKAY, HI.

HI.

ARE THOSE MY TICKETS?

YES, TOOK ALL MY CHARM

AND POWERS OF PERSUASION,

BUT YOU ARE NOW THE PROUD OWNER

OF TWO LUXURY BOX SEATS

FOR TONIGHT'S

LAKERS, CELTICS GAME.

- IS THAT GOOD?

- EVE, MOST PEOPLE WOULD

GIVE THEIR FIRST BORN CHILD

FOR THOSE TICKETS.

THANK YOU,

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME,

WELCOME.

SO, UM, YOU WANT TO TELL ME

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I... I DON'T KNOW

WHAT YOU MEAN.

I MEAN, WHY A WOMAN

WHO PREVIOUSLY HAD

ABSOLUTELY ZERO INTEREST

IN ANY SPORT,

OTHER THAN A PEDICURE,

IS SUDDENLY A LAKERS FAN.

- HI, BEN.

- HI, RITA.

- HE'S HERE.

- WHO'S HERE?

CAN'T YOU DO

ANYTHING RIGHT?

WHAT?

I TOLD YOU I WANTED THESE

TICKETS FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.

YOU DIDN'T SAY

ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

THIS IS GREAT,

THIS IS JUST GREAT.

IS SOMETHING WRONG?

SOMETHING?

EVERYTHING.

I ASKED MY PRODUCER HERE

TO GET ME TICKETS

FOR TOMORROW NIGHT'S

LAKERS, "CEDRICS" GAME.

I THINK YOU MEAN CELTICS.

AND INSTEAD, HE GOT ME

TWO LUXURY BOX CARS

FOR TONIGHT'S GAME AND HE KNOWS

THAT I HAVE A CONFLICT.

- I DO?

- YES, YOU DO.

YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE

THE THING WITH THOSE PEOPLE.

WHAT PEOPLE?

IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW,

BECAUSE THE POINT IS,

I CAN NOT GO

TO THE MATCH.

- GAME.

- I CAN'T GO TO EITHER ONE.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO

WITH THESE TICKETS?

WELL, LOOK,

I'LL JUST TAKE...

OH, MY...

I HAVE JUST HAD

THE MOST BRILLIANT IDEA,

WHOA, I'M GOOD.

RITA, WOULD YOU BE A DOLL

AND TAKE THESE TICKETS

OFF MY HANDS?

I WOULD LOVE TO.

OKAY, NOW THERE'S

JUST ONE PROBLEM.

IS THERE ARE TWO TICKETS

AND IT'S AWFULLY LATE NOTICE

TO TRY TO FIND SOMEBODY ELSE

TO BE IN THE OTHER SEAT.

WHAT ABOUT...

HMM.

HOW ABOUT YOU,

BEN?

YOU WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED

IN GOING TO THE GAME, WOULD YOU?

ARE YOU KIDDING?

I WOULD...

OKAY, RITA,

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT

BEN GOING WITH YOU

TO THE GAME?

NO, I MEAN,

YES, YES.

REALLY? I MEAN,

BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE AMAZING.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK AT

WHAT I JUST DID.

IT'S SETTLED THEN.

ALL RIGHT,

NOW WHY DON'T YOU TWO

TAKE A NICE COFFEE BREAK

AND IRON OUT ALL THE DETAILS.

AND... OH, I JUST HAD

ANOTHER BRILLIANT IDEA.

HOW ABOUT THIS,

AFTER THE GAME,

DINNER AT MAURO'S?

ON ME.

OKAY, THIS IS OFFICIALLY

THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

AND IT'S STILL EARLY,

SO GO ON, YOU TWO, SCOOT.

YOU CRAZY KIDS.

CRAZY KIDS, YEAH.

SO YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE

A CONFLICT TONIGHT, DO YOU?

WELL, THAT'S A MATTER

OF OPINION NOW, ISN'T IT?

OKAY, THIS AVERAGE DAY JUST

TURNED INTO THE BEST DAY EVER.

ABSOLUTELY, BEST DAY

IN THE WORKFORCE.

YOURS ESPECIALLY.

I WAS JUST, UH...

JUST CHECKING THE PLANTS.

THIS ONE'S GOOD.

IT'S OKAY.

THE LAST GAME I WENT TO,

I WAS, LIKE, FOUR YEARS OLD.

- IT WAS?

- I KNOW, I KNOW.

- THAT'S AWESOME.

- IT'S GOING TO BE AMAZING.

I HEAR FISH IS BACK.

WELL, YEAH, HOPEFULLY

I CAN GET AN AUTOGRAPH.

WAIT, YOU HAVE

THIS LITTLE PIECE OF FOAM.

SHOULD I?

I'M JUST GOING TO...

OH, ON MY NOSE?

YES.

UM, BUT, UH,

YEAH, THIS WAY.

OKAY, YEAH.

I CAN WALK?

YES.

HI, I WAS JUST CHECKING

ALL THE PLANTS AND THE...

THIS WHOLE THING

LOOKS REALLY GOOD.

SO...

CARRY ON.

I DID IT.

I REALLY DID IT.

- EVE?

- YES.

IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

EVERYTHING IS PERFECT.

VERNON.

HOW'D YOU GUESS?

BECAUSE NO ONE SENT ME

ROSES IN 100 YEARS.

AW, THAT'S SAD.

PITY I HAVE TO TAKE

THEM BACK.

WHAT? WHY?

WELL, THEY'RE FROM THE HEAD

OFFICE TO CONGRATULATE YOU

ON THE SUCCESSFUL

COMPLETION OF YOUR ASSIGNMENT.

WELL, THEN WHY DON'T

I GET TO KEEP THEM?

BECAUSE YOU AREN'T DONE YET.

OH, BUT YOU ARE MISTAKEN,

MY FRIEND.

COME HERE,

I GOT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

HUH? HUH?

LOOKS LIKE LOVE TO ME.

OH, IT IS.

I'VE CHECKED OUT

THEIR PAPERWORK ALREADY

AND THEY'RE A PERFECT MATCH,

CONGRATULATIONS.

SO WHY ARE YOU SAYING

I'M NOT DONE?

COME OVER HERE.

MAUREEN'S NOT HAPPY.

UH-OH.

NEEDLESS TO SAY,

THE ENGAGEMENT'S OFF.

AND, UNFORTUNATELY,

COMPANY POLICY SAYS

THAT THIS ONE CANCELS OUT

THE OTHER ONE,

SO I'M SORRY, EVE,

BUT YOU'RE BACK AT ZERO AGAIN.

THAT'S NOT FAIR.

NO ONE SAID

LOVE IS FAIR.

HERE,

WHY DON'T YOU KEEP ONE?

WHY? TO REMIND ME

THAT I'M A FAILURE?

NOW, NOW.

IT'S NO TIME

TO FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF.

YOU'VE ONLY GOT TWO DAYS LEFT,

LOVE'S A WAITING.

BUT, VERNON,

CAN I AT LEAST...

VERNON?

NIGHT, MISS LOVETT.

OH, GOOD NIGHT,

VINCE.

THAT'S VANCE, BUT

YOU'RE REAL CLOSE THOUGH.

OH, I'M STARTING TO REALIZE

CLOSE DOESN'T COUNT.

ROUGH DAY, HUH?

IT SHOWS?

THIS WHOLE VALENTINE'S

THING GOT YOU DOWN?

MM, HOW YOU'D KNOW?

IT HAS THAT AFFECT

ON US SINGLE PEOPLE.

YOU'RE SINGLE?

GUILTY AS CHARGED,

YEAH.

YOU, UH,

SEEING ANYONE?

NO, I ACTUALLY GAVE UP

ON THAT WHOLE DATING SCENE.

COME ON, YOU?

PLEASE, WHAT HAPPENED?

IT'S A LONG STORY,

YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO HEAR IT.

TRY ME.

EVE, I THOUGHT WE AGREED

YOU WERE GOING TO RUN

THIS KIND OF THING

BY ME FIRST.

THERE WASN'T TIME.

IT'S FRESH, IT'S ORIGINAL.

IT'S EXACTLY

WHAT I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT.

TRUST ME, THERE ISN'T GOING

TO BE A DRY EYE IN THE HOUSE.

I JUST HAVE A BAD FEELING IN

THE PIT OF STOMACH ABOUT THIS.

YEAH?

ASK THE NURSE FOR SOME BROMO.

WE HAVE A SHOW TO DO.

HI THERE, WELCOME BACK

TO THE EVE LOVETT SHOW

AND WE HAVE

A VERY SPECIAL SEGMENT

FOR OUR VALENTINE'S WEEK

CALLED, "CUPID AT LARGE."

OUR GUEST TODAY IS ONE

OF OUR VERY OWN STAFF MEMBERS,

VANCE FRYMAN,

WELCOME HIM, EVERYBODY.

IS THIS A HANDSOME

GENTLEMAN OR WHAT?

CAMERA TWO PUSH IN

ON THE HUNK.

I KNOW

HOW TO PICK THEM.

SO WELCOME, VANCE, UM,

LISTEN I'M GOING JUMP RIGHT IN.

- PLEASE.

- OKAY.

YOU'RE NEARING 40 AND, UH,

YOU'RE NOT MARRIED.

UM, WHAT'S THE DEAL?

YOU GUN-SHY?

NO, ACTUALLY NOT AT ALL.

TRUTH IS I JUST HAVEN'T MET

THAT PERSON THAT I WANT TO SPEND

THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH.

OH, WELL, AND WHY

DO YOU THINK THAT IS?

UM, BECAUSE NONE OF THEM

WERE LAURA.

I SEE.

UH, WHY DON'T YOU LET

THE AUDIENCE KNOW WHO LAURA IS.

SURE, UM.

LAURA WAS, UH... SHE WAS

THE FIRST GIRL I EVER KISSED.

SHE WAS MY FIRST LOVE.

AND WOULD YOU GO SO FAR

AS TO SAY, PERHAPS,

THAT SHE WAS YOUR ONLY LOVE

ALL THESE YEARS?

OH, YEAH, DEFINITELY,

ABSOLUTELY.

AND WHY AREN'T

THE TWO OF YOU TOGETHER?

WELL, EVE,

TO BE HONEST WITH YOU,

I'VE WANTED

NOTHING MORE THAN THAT, BUT...

SEE, LAURA AND I

WERE HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS.

AND I KNEW THE MOMENT I MET HER

THAT SHE WAS MY SOUL MATE.

YOU SEEM PRETTY SURE OF THAT.

WELL, I WAS, AND I AM

STILL, EVEN TO THIS DAY.

THE PROBLEM IS THAT

FOR SOME REASON,

HER FATHER

DISAPPROVED OF ME.

SO WE, OF COURSE,

SNUCK AROUND HIM AT TIMES

SO WE COULD SEE EACH OTHER,

BUT TO NO AVAIL.

HE FINALLY JUST MOVED

THE WHOLE FAMILY OUT OF STATE.

JUST TO KEEP

THE TWO OF YOU APART.

I MEAN, I TRIED TO KEEP IN

TOUCH WITH LAURA OVER THE YEARS

BY SENDING HER LETTERS.

BUT, UH, MY LETTERS WERE ALWAYS

RETURNED, "ADDRESS UNKNOWN."

SO SAD.

YEAH, SPENT THE LAST 20 YEARS

TRYING TO FIND HER BUT...

NO LUCK?

NO, NO,

UNFORTUNATELY SHE A...

IT'S LIKE SHE

JUST DISAPPEARED.

WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY,

VANCE, IF I TOLD YOU THAT

WE FOUND HER?

- I'M SORRY, WHAT?

- THAT'S RIGHT.

YOUR LAURA.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

I AM SERIOUS.

OUR CRACK RESEARCH TEAM

HAS TRACKED HER DOWN.

YOU GOT TO BE...

THIS IS INCREDIBLE.

NO, IT GETS BETTER.

SHE FEELS THE SAME WAY

THAT YOU DO.

YOU ARE THE ONE GREAT LOVE

OF HER LIFE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE

THIS IS HAPPENING.

- WAIT TILL YOU HEAR THIS.

- WHAT?

WE HAVE BROUGHT HER

HERE TODAY.

TO GET THE TWO OF YOU

RE-UNITED.

WHAT?

- SHE'S HERE.

- SHE'S HERE?

SHE'S HERE.

KEEP THAT APPLAUSE GOING.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

GIVE A WARM, EVE SHOWWELCOME

TO MISS LAURA WILSON.

HELLO, VANCE.

- WHAT?

- COME ON, ROMEO,

DON'T BE SHY,

GET OVER THERE.

NO, THAT'S NOT LAURA,

THAT'S DIDI.

THIS WOMAN HAS BEEN

STALKING ME FOR TWO YEARS NOW.

- WHAT?

- THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD.

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME,

VANCE.

ACTUALLY,

NOT LONG ENOUGH.

IS THIS TRUE?

YES, SHE'S BEEN

CHARGED TWICE

FOR IDENTITY THEFT,

HAVEN'T YOU?

THAT'S JUST BECAUSE

I NEEDED TO SEE YOU.

NO, STAY AWAY FROM ME,

DON'T COME NEAR ME.

FOLLOW ON CAMERA THREE.

TWO, STAY WITH THE PSYCHO.

YOU KNOW I HAVE

A RESTRAINING ORDER.

OH, THAT SILLY

LITTLE THING.

NO, THE POLICE,

CALL THE POLICE, RIGHT NOW.

RIGHT NOW.

OKAY, UH, LAURA, DIDI,

WHATEVER.

IF WE COULD TALK ABOUT THIS

LIKE RATIONAL ADULTS.

SECURITY.

YOU KNOW THAT WE'RE

SUPPOSED TO BE TOGETHER.

GET RID OF HER,

DON'T LET HER GO.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

IT APPEARS THAT OUR

RESEARCH TEAM HAS MADE

A TINY LITTLE MISTAKE.

SHE'S STRONGER THAN SHE LOOKS,

HOLD ON TO HER, PLEASE.

YOU KNOW I HATE

YELLOW TOO.

DON'T LET HER GO,

GET HER OUT OF MY LIFE.

EVE, EVE,

WHY'D YOU DO THIS TO ME?

WE'LL BE BACK,

RIGHT AFTER THESE MESSAGES.

RICK.

THEY TOOK THE TAPE,

FOR EVIDENCE.

HAVE TO AIR A RE-RUN.

NOT THAT THE RATINGS

COULD GET MUCH LOWER.

- OKAY, JUST SAY IT.

- SAY WHAT?

"I TOLD YOU SO."

I KNOW YOU'RE

JUST DYING TO.

YOU JUST DON'T

GET IT, DO YOU?

WHAT?

WE'RE ON THE SAME TEAM.

RICK.

I'M SORRY.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I THINK YOU

REALLY MEAN THAT.

DON'T WORRY, WE'LL MAKE IT UP

IN THE LIVE BROADCAST.

- REALLY THINK SO?

- YEAH.

I HAVE FAITH

IN OUR HOST.

- YOU KNOW...

- AAH!

I REALLY THOUGHT

YOU HAD THAT ONE.

COULD YOU AT LEAST...

HONK OR SOMETHING?

SORRY.

AND THAT WAS

NOT MY FAULT.

MM... IN A WAY,

IT SORT OF WAS.

WHAT AM I

SUPPOSED TO DO?

I HAVE 24 HOURS BEFORE...

ACCORDING TO YOU...

I LOSE ANY CHANCE

I'LL EVER HAVE

AT FINDING LOVE.

PRECISELY.

SO STOP WASTING YOUR TIME

LOOKING AT THE PETALS.

YOU'RE MISSING

THE ROSE.

WHAT DOES THAT

EVEN MEAN, VERNON?

VERNON?

WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT?

VERNON?

YOU ALL RIGHT,

CAROLYN?

OH.

OH, YEAH.

EVERYTHING'S JUST

SUNSHINE AND BUTTERCUPS.

OKAY.

AND IT'S JANICE.

EXCUSE ME?

MY NAME IS JANICE.

NOT THAT

IT REALLY MATTERS.

I'M JUST

THE RECEPTIONIST, RIGHT?

NO...

IT MATTERS.

THANKS.

YOU WANNA TALK

ABOUT IT?

WHAT, THIS?

IT'S JUST ALLERGIES.

I'M ALLERGIC

TO BROKEN HEARTS.

WELL, WHO ISN'T?

CAN I SHOW YOU

SOMETHING?

OH.

HE'S... CUTE.

LOOK AT HIM.

AW.

WHAT'S HIS NAME?

GUS.

HE'S PROBABLY

THE BEST FRIEND I'VE EVER HAD.

WELL, I'D LIKE

TO MEET HIM SOMETIME.

I WISH YOU COULD,

BUT...

I HAD TO PUT HIM

TO SLEEP LAST NIGHT.

OH, I'M SORRY.

THAT'S TERRIBLE.

OH, YOU... PROBABLY THINK

THIS IS PRETTY STUPID,

ME HIDING OUT

IN HERE.

I JUST...

I COULDN'T GET

THROUGH THE DAY.

IT'S NOT STUPID.

WELL, IT'S JUST,

YOU KNOW,

SOMETIMES IT'S HARD

FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME.

LOVE DOESN'T COME ALONG

EVERY DAY, AND...

BUT WITH GUS...

JUST HAVING HIM AROUND,

HE SEEMED TO TAKE THE LONELINESS

AWAY A LITTLE BIT.

MISS LOVETT?

CALL ME EVE.

OKAY, EVE?

YES?

IF YOU EVER TELL ANYBODY

ABOUT THIS,

I'LL DECK YA.

SHH...

VANCE,

VANCE!

HOW DID YOU SEE IT?

THE POLICE

HAVE THE TAPE.

SOMEONE IN YOUR AUDIENCE

HAD A CELL PHONE CAMERA.

IT'S GONE VIRAL.

OH, NO.

OH, YES.

YOU'VE HAD

HALF A MILLION HITS.

YOU'RE AN INTERNET

SENSATION.

I DON'T FEEL

VERY SENSATIONAL.

WHAT'S THE MATTER NOW?

UGH, YOU WOULDN'T

BELIEVE IT IF I TOLD YOU.

I BET I CAN GUESS.

IT'S ABOUT VALENTINE'S DAY,

ISN'T IT?

- IN A WAY.

- I KNEW IT.

YOU'RE FEELING THE CLOCK

TICKING, AREN'T YOU?

WHAT?

YOU'VE COME TO A POINT

IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU REALIZE

YOU'VE CUT YOURSELF OFF

FROM LOVE.

NANCY,

THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

AND YOU FEEL, IF YOU DON'T

REACH OUT AND GRAB IT,

YOU MAY NEVER HAVE

THE CHANCE AGAIN.

HEY, LET ME

ASK YOU SOMETHING.

IF YOU KNOW SO MUCH

ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS,

WHY ARE YOU STILL SINGLE?

PERSONAL CHOICE.

I'M NOT READY TO SETTLE

FOR SECOND BEST.

OH, AND YOU'RE SAYING

I SHOULD?

I'M SAYING, BECAUSE OF

A FEW BAD EXPERIENCES,

YOU HAVE LET LIFE

PASS YOU BY.

YOU NEED TO OPEN YOURSELF UP,

LET LOVE IN.

YEAH, YEAH.

HEY, NANCE,

I'VE GOT TO CALL YOU BACK.

WHAT?

BUT WE WERE JUST ABOUT

TO MAKE A BREAKTHROUGH.

UH, I'VE GOT TO GO SEE

A MAN ABOUT A DOG.

EVE? A DOG IS NOT

A REPLACEMENT FOR A MAN.

AS A RULE.

THIS IS A VERY NICE THING

YOU'RE DOING, MISS LOVETT.

PLEASE,

CALL ME EVE.

WELL, HOW ABOUT

YOU CALL ME HARVEY, THEN?

YOU GOT A DEAL,

HARVEY.

YEAH...

THE DAY

YOU LOSE A DOG

IS A BAD DAY

ANY WAY YOU LOOK AT IT.

YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE

NEVER GET OVER IT.

THEY GO THROUGH

THE REST OF THEIR LIVES

WITH THIS CANINE-SHAPED HOLE

IN THEM.

THAT'S WHY WHAT YOU'RE DOING

FOR THIS LADY,

TRYING TO FIND ONE

THAT FILLS THE SPACE,

SHOWS THAT YOU'RE

A VERY GOOD FRIEND TO HAVE.

OH, HARVEY, I HAVEN'T

BEEN MUCH OF A FRIEND.

THAT'S WHY I'M TRYING

TO MAKE UP FOR IT.

WELL, IT'S A GREAT PLACE

TO START.

AS MY WIFE USED TO SAY,

WE SHOULD

ALL ASPIRE TO BE

THE KINDS OF PEOPLE THAT

OUR DOGS THINK WE ARE.

YOUR WIFE'S A SMART LADY.

SHE GAVE ME MY FIRST DOG,

A MUTT NAMED TOM.

THAT LED ME

TO THIS PLACE.

AND, UH...

IT'S INTERESTING.

'CAUSE IT'S HARD

SOMETIMES.

PEOPLE CAN BE

VERY CRUEL.

BUT THEN SOMEONE LIKE YOU

COMES ALONG

AND MAKES IT

ALL WORTHWHILE.

NOW... THIS IS THE FELLA

I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT.

HE'S NOT A PUREBRED,

AS YOU CAN SEE.

A LITTLE BIT OF THIS,

LITTLE BIT OF THAT,

BUT A WHOLE LOT

OF LOVE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

HARVEY,

I WILL BE RIGHT BACK.

FINGERS CROSSED, HUH?

EVE, I TOLD YOU.

I'M NOT READY FOR THIS.

IT'S JUST TOO SOON.

I UNDERSTAND.

JUST HUMOR ME.

IT'LL ONLY TAKE

A MINUTE, OKAY?

COME ON.

GET READY.

JANICE, I WOULD LIKE

FOR YOU TO MEET...

- HARVEY?

- Y-YOU KNOW HIM?

JAYCEE.

HARVEY MITFORD,

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

IS THAT REALLY YOU?

IN THE FLESH.

OF COURSE,

A LITTLE MORE FLESH

THAN THE LAST TIME

YOU SAW ME, BUT...

HOW DO YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER?

WE WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL

TOGETHER.

WE WERE QUITE

THE HOT ITEM,

BACK IN THE DAY,

WHEN DINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH.

AS I REMEMBER,

I WASN'T YOUR ONLY HOT ITEM.

HARVEY WAS A BIT OF

A LADIES' MAN AT SCHOOL.

CAN'T BLAME THE GIRLS

FOR HAVING GOOD TASTE, HMM?

AND ONE OF THEM

GOT YOU TOO.

HOW IS ALICE?

SHE PASSED.

12 YEARS AGO.

I'M SORRY.

NO, I THANK MY LUCKY STARS

EVERY DAY

FOR HAVING KNOWN HER.

AND NOW I GET TO WORK

WITH THESE GUYS.

SO THIS IS THE LITTLE FELLA

YOU WANTED ME TO SEE?

WHAT'S HIS NAME?

UM, DOESN'T HAVE ONE.

YOU WANT TO NAME HIM?

I DON'T KNOW.

I CAN'T REPLACE GUS.

THIS WOULDN'T BE

REPLACING GUS.

THIS IS SOMETHING NEW.

BESIDES,

EVERYBODY DESERVES

A FRESH START

EVERY NOW AND THEN.

WELL, THAT WAS

CERTAINLY UNEXPECTED.

HEY.

WHAT DOES THE HEAD OFFICE

THINK OF THAT NOW, HUH?

OH, THE HEAD OFFICE

DEFINITELY APPROVES.

THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT

FOR EACH OTHER.

YES.

SO DO I GET

MY FLOWERS NOW?

- NOPE.

- WHAT?

I'M SORRY, EVE,

BUT THE RULES ARE VERY CLEAR.

YOU MUST DO

THE MATCHMAKING YOURSELF.

BUT... I BROUGHT HER HERE.

TO GET A DOG.

PLUS, THOSE TWO HAVE BEEN

IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER

SINCE THEY WERE KIDS.

LIFE JUST GOT IN THE WAY,

THAT'S ALL.

HAD NOTHING TO DO

WITH YOU.

YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

I ONLY HAVE

ONE DAY LEFT.

I'M SORRY, EVE,

BUT RULES ARE RULES.

SINCE WHEN DOES LOVE

HAVE RULES?

WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD

ASK YOURSELF THE SAME QUESTION.

WHAT DOES THAT

EVEN MEAN?

YOU'RE THE ONE

WHO WON'T ALLOW HERSELF

TO GET CLOSE

TO ANYONE,

JUST BECAUSE SHE'S BEEN HURT

A FEW TIMES IN THE PAST.

NOW, ISN'T THAT

A RULE?

NO, THAT'S COMPLETELY

DIFFERENT.

I AM PROTECTING

MYSELF.

BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID.

LOVE ISN'T

FOR SISSIES, EVE.

OH, I HEARD THAT

THE FIRST TIME,

AND THIS IS THE LAST.

THAT'S IT, I QUIT.

NOW, EVE...

OH, DON'T "NOW, EVE" ME.

I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT.

I FOUND THOSE COUPLES

AND I PUT THEM TOGETHER,

AND I BOUGHT THEM

DINNERS AND TICKETS,

AND I EVEN GOT SHOTS

FOR THAT DOG.

I THINK, AFTER ALL THAT,

I DESERVE A LITTLE LOVE.

NO ONE DESERVES LOVE,

EVE.

IT'S NOT A PRIZE.

IT'S A GIFT.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I DON'T WANT EITHER ONE.

GOODBYE, VERNON.

AND IF I NEVER

SEE YOU AGAIN,

WHICH I SINCERELY HOPE

IS THE CASE,

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.

GOOD TO SEE YOU,

MISS LOVETT.

THANK YOU.

OH, GET A ROOM.

GOOD EVENING,

MISS LOVETT.

- GOOD EVENING, LOUIS.

- YOUR TABLE IS READY.

AND YOUR CHAMPAGNE

IS ON ICE.

MY CHAMPAGNE?

I DIDN'T ORDER CHAMPAGNE,

LOUIS.

NO, THE CHAMPAGNE

COMES COMPLIMENTS

OF THE LADY

AT THE BAR.

WELL, AT LEAST SOMEBODY'S

HAVING A GOOD TIME.

HEY.

I DIDN'T KNOW

YOU WERE GONNA BE...

I DON'T WANNA BOTHER YOU.

CAN I GET A TABLE, LOUIS?

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

JOIN ME.

- YOU SURE?

- PLEASE.

BESIDES, I CAN'T FINISH

THIS ENTIRE BOTTLE

OF CHAMPAGNE

BY MYSELF.

WELL...

NOT THE KIND OF OFFER

I CAN REFUSE.

YEAH, PRODUCING TELEVISION'S

PRETTY MUCH THE LAST THING

I EVER THOUGHT

I'D WIND UP DOING.

WHAT DID

YOU WANT TO DO?

PROMISE YOU WON'T LAUGH.

OH, I CAN'T PROMISE

ANYTHING OF THE SORT.

I, UH, WANT TO BE

A WRITER.

- NOT LAUGHING.

- NO, NOT YET.

A SERIOUS WRITER.

THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL.

LAUGH ANYTIME NOW.

THERE'S JUST ONE PROBLEM.

WHAT WAS THAT?

NO TALENT.

I SERIOUSLY DOUBT THAT.

WELL, MAYBE A LITTLE,

BUT NOT ENOUGH.

AND WHEN I REALIZED

IT WASN'T GOING TO BE GREAT,

I THOUGHT,

"WHY EVEN BOTHER?"

YOU KNOW? I MEAN,

I KNOW THAT SOUNDS CHILDISH.

IT DOESN'T SOUND CHILDISH

AT ALL.

I FELT THE SAME WAY.

I DIDN'T KNOW

YOU WANTED TO BE A WRITER.

WELL, NOTHING AS GRAND

AS THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL,

BUT I DID MAJOR IN JOURNALISM

IN COLLEGE,

AND, YOU KNOW,

I THOUGHT BY NOW

I WOULD HAVE

THIS VERY SERIOUS COLUMN

IN THE TIMES, YOU KNOW,

TACKLING THE IMPORTANT ISSUES

AND... HELPING PEOPLE.

I KNOW

YOU'RE NOT WRITING,

BUT ISN'T THAT KIND OF

WHAT YOU'RE DOING NOW?

HARDLY.

SOMETIMES I FEEL MORE LIKE

A RINGMASTER AT A CIRCUS.

YEAH, BUT YOU'RE

A VERY GOOD RINGMASTER.

WAS THAT A COMPLIMENT,

MR. DAYTON?

HEY, YOU'RE CATCHING ON.

IT WAS, YEAH.

LOOKS LIKE

WE SHUT THE PLACE DOWN.

GUESS SO.

QUIET NIGHT, HUH?

MM-HMM.

- RICK...

- EVE...

GO AHEAD.

NO, YOU GO.

I JUST WANT

TO SAY THAT, UM...

YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL

TONIGHT.

COME... YOU'VE SEEN

THIS DRESS.

I WORE IT

ON THE SHOW.

I DON'T MEAN

THE DRESS.

I MEAN YOU.

THERE'S...

SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

YOU'RE, UM... GLOWING

OR SOMETHING.

UM... MAYBE

IT'S THE LIGHTING.

EVE, IT'S NOT

THE LIGHTING.

THAT WAS DEFINITELY

A COMPLIMENT.

YES, IT WAS.

OKAY.

IT WAS.

WELL...

THANK YOU.

- IT'S A...

- UH...

I AM SO SORRY.

MY FAULT.

- I...

- MY... MY...

NO, I SHOULDN'T HAVE...

NO, NO, DON'T... DON'T...

DON'T BLAME YOURSELF.

THAT WAS, UM...

REALLY INAPPROPRIATE.

VERY UNPROFESSIONAL.

UM, YEAH.

UM... OKAY.

SO I'M GONNA GO.

ME TOO.

UH, GOODNIGHT.

GOODNIGHT.

GOOD MORNING, EVE.

MORNING.

BEAUTIFUL DAY, ISN'T IT?

YEAH, SURE.

HARVEY AND I HAD

A WONDERFUL TIME LAST NIGHT.

WE SPENT THE WHOLE EVENING

CATCHING UP,

IF YOU KNOW

WHAT I MEAN.

GREAT.

I'M HAPPY FOR YOU.

YOU AND MR. DAYTON SEEMED

TO BE ENJOYING YOURSELVES.

WHAT?

IT WAS LIKE THERE

WAS NOBODY ELSE

IN THE WHOLE RESTAURANT.

IT WAS A BUSINESS DINNER.

DIDN'T LOOK THAT WAY

TO ME.

I DON'T CARE

WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE TO YOU.

IT WAS JUST BUSINESS.

THAT'S ALL IT WAS.

BUSINESS.

WHATEVER YOU SAY.

- GOOD MORNING, EVE.

- MORNING, MISS LOVETT.

DON'T YOU HAVE

ANY MAIL TO DELIVER?

AND I WILL

TALK TO YOU LATER.

SO I WILL GET YOUR TEA

AND, UH...

ALL RIGHT, STOP...

BEFORE YOU SAY

ANYTHING ELSE,

I JUST WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING

PERFECTLY CLEAR

ABOUT LAST NIGHT.

AND YOU MIGHT WANT TO SPREAD

THIS INFORMATION AROUND.

NO MATTER WHAT YOU HEARD

FROM JANICE OR ANYONE ELSE,

MR. DAYTON AND I

ARE CO-WORKERS.

WE WERE HAVING

A CO-WORKING DINNER,

DURING WHICH TIME,

WE CO-WORKED.

IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?

YEAH.

GOOD.

WHAT WERE

YOU GOING TO SAY?

YOU HAVE A GUEST.

THANK YOU.

EXCUSE ME,

LAST TIME I CHECKED,

THIS WAS MY OFFICE.

THERE SHE IS.

HEY, HI.

- HEY.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

OH, A PATIENT OF MINE

IS STARRING

IN A BIG ACTION MOVIE

OUT HERE,

AND HE HAD AN EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN

ON SET LAST NIGHT.

IS HE ALL RIGHT?

WELL, IF HE WAS ALL RIGHT,

HE WOULDN'T BE AN ACTOR,

WOULD HE?

RICK HAS BEEN

KEEPING ME COMPANY,

TELLING ME

ALL ABOUT YOUR SHOW.

HE SAYS YOU'RE DOING IT

LIVE TODAY.

THAT'S SO EXCITING.

YEAH, IT'S A LITTLE

NERVE-RACKING TOO.

AND WE ARE READY

TO REHEARSE THE SKETCH,

SO AFTER

YOU GUYS CATCH UP,

I NEED YOU TO GO

TO WARDROBE,

GET THE HARNESS ON,

AND RUN THROUGH IT

A COUPLE TIMES, OKAY?

OKAY.

BE RIGHT THERE.

OKAY. IT WAS NICE

TO MEET YOU, NANCY.

YOU KNOW,

YOU NEVER TOLD ME

YOU HAD SUCH

BEAUTIFUL FRIENDS IN NEW YORK.

OH, I LIKE THIS ONE.

KEEP TALKING.

YOU KNOW WHAT, NANCY,

IF YOU WANT,

YOU CAN JOIN EVE,

COME DOWN,

AND WATCH THE REHEARSALS.

YOU SURE

THAT'D BE OKAY?

OF COURSE.

THE MORE, THE MERRIER.

ALL RIGHT,

SEE YOU SOON.

SO... THAT'S

THE FAMOUS RICK

YOU'RE ALWAYS

TALKING ABOUT.

I AM NOT

ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT HIM.

FROM WHAT I'VE HEARD

AROUND HERE,

YOU TWO

ARE A REAL ITEM.

THAT IS NOT TRUE

AT ALL.

THAT IS A RUMOR

SOMEBODY STARTED,

AND IT'S GOING TO STOP

RIGHT NOW, PEOPLE.

SO THERE'S NOTHING

GOING ON BETWEEN YOU?

NOTHING.

WE WORK TOGETHER.

ALL THE MORE CONVENIENT.

NANCY, WE'RE NOT INTERESTED

IN EACH OTHER.

- YOU'RE SURE ABOUT THAT?

- POSITIVE.

SO YOU HAVEN'T EVER

MADE A MOVE ON HIM.

NEVER.

NOT ONCE.

BUT COME ON,

HE'S HOT.

"HOT"?

I GUESS HE'S...

GOOD-LOOKING,

IN HIS WAY.

I WOULDN'T MIND HIM LOOKING

MY WAY WHILE HE WAS AT IT.

SAME OLD NANCY.

HEY, WHEN YOU SEE

WHAT YOU WANT,

YOU HAVE

TO GO FOR IT, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

HMM.

I'M TELLING YOU,

THIS IS A HORRIBLE IDEA.

IT'S NEVER

GOING TO WORK.

LOOKING GOOD, RICK.

- WE SET, GUYS?

- HEY.

YOU ALL RIGHT?

I'M HOT AND

THIS THING IS REALLY TIGHT.

I... I MEANT

ABOUT US.

UM, RICK...

ABOUT LAST NIGHT...

YEAH, WE, UH... NEVER SHOULD

HAVE HAD THAT MUCH CHAMPAGNE.

NO, IT WAS

VERY UNPROFESSIONAL OF US.

DEFINITELY.

YEAH.

OKAY, GOOD.

WELL, I'M GLAD THAT

WE GOT THAT OUT OF THE WAY.

YEAH, ME TOO.

THAT'S, UM...

SO YOU'RE...

YEAH.

WELL, CHECK THE...

JUST THAT-YEAH.

SO, UH...

WHAT'S...

WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH

YOUR FRIEND NANCY THERE?

UH, W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, IS SHE SINGLE

OR...?

UH... YEAH.

SHE'S... SHE'S SINGLE.

WHY DO YOU ASK?

I WAS JUST CURIOUS.

I MEAN...

SHE SEEMS NICE.

YEAH,

SHE'S REALLY NICE.

SHE'S ONE OF

MY BEST FRIENDS.

BUT I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU,

UNDER THAT GOOD GIRL FACADE,

THAT ONE OVER THERE,

SHE GOT ME IN A LOT OF TROUBLE

WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER.

LOOKING AT HER,

I CAN BELIEVE THAT.

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED

TO MEAN?

WELL, SHE'S JUST GOT

THAT... WICKED GLINT IN HER EYE.

WHAT, AND I DON'T?

NO. I... I MEAN,

THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M SAYING.

YOU'RE... YOU'RE JUST MORE...

PRACTICAL.

YOU MEAN BORING.

NO, THAT...

YOU KNOW WHAT?

LET'S JUST PRETEND

I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.

OKAY?

OOKAY.

- TAKE HER AWAY, GUYS.

- WAIT, RICK...

OH, THERE SHE GOES.

IS IT SUPPOSED

TO DO THIS?

OKAY, UH,

I THINK THAT'S...

THAT'S GOOD.

SO, WHAT DOES

A PRODUCER DO ANYWAY?

MOSTLY KEEP PEOPLE

LIKE EVE IN LINE.

THAT MUST BE

A FULL-TIME JOB.

YEAH, AND

THE PAY'S LOUSY TOO.

HELLO?

REMEMBER ME

UP HERE?

IT'S KIND OF SCARY.

PEOPLE,

WHEN WE GO TO AIR,

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE

ONE CHANCE TO GET THIS RIGHT,

SO LET'S ALL

REMEMBER THE CUE.

YOU READY?

IN THREE, TWO,

ONE...

AAH! WHOA! OH!

HEY.

RICK?

WHAT-WHAT'S WRONG?

HEY, RICK!

- IT'S, UH... IT'S JAMMED.

- OH, YOU THINK?

GUYS, GET HER DOWN.

HEY, CAN YOU DO SOMETHING

ABOUT THIS PLEASE?

WHOSE IDEA

WAS THIS ANYWAY?

LISTEN!

I'M A TALK SHOW HOST,

NOT A PINATA.

YOU'RE GETTING A KICK

OUT OF THIS?

TRINA!

HELP ME!

GLAD YOU GUYS THINK

THIS IS FUNNY.

THAT'S A LITTLE TOO FAST.

YEAH?

I'M READY FOR MY CLOSE-UP?

YOU'RE READY FOR PRIME TIME.

NO.

WHAT DOES THIS THING DO?

VERNON?

VERNON.

ARE YOU IN HERE?

VERNON, COME ON.

I KNOW THAT I SAID

THAT I QUIT,

BUT I NEED ANOTHER CHANCE,

'CAUSE I THINK

I FIGURED IT OUT.

I THINK I KNOW

WHO THE COUPLE IS.

VERNON!

COME ON.

YOU SAID IT WAS

NEVER TOO LATE FOR LOVE.

HOW 'BOUT IT?

VERNON?

NEVER MIND.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I DON'T NEED YOU.

I'M GONNA DO THIS MYSELF.

GOT IT.

HEY, HEY, RICK.

- THAT'S ALL?

- WE'RE GOOD.

- GOT A MINUTE?

- UH, YEAH.

I THOUGHT

YOU'D BE IN MAKEUP.

I'M ON MY WAY.

HAVE YOU SEEN NANCY

ANYWHERE AROUND?

SHE WENT TO THE COMMISSARY

FOR COFFEE.

SHE'LL BE BACK

IN A WHILE.

OH, OKAY.

SHE LIKES YOU.

I CAN TELL.

I LIKE HER TOO.

SHE'S NICE.

I WAS THINKING THAT,

MAYBE TONIGHT AFTER THE SHOW,

YOU'D WANT TO GO OUT.

THE THREE OF US?

THAT'S OKAY.

YOU GUYS NEED TIME

TO CATCH UP.

OH, I WASN'T

GOING TO GO.

WHAT?

YEAH, I JUST... THOUGHT

MAYBE THE TWO OF YOU

MIGHT WANT TO GET

TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER.

WHAT?

ARE YOU TRYING TO HAND ME OFF

TO YOUR FRIEND?

WH... NO, NOT EXACTLY.

IT'S JUST, YOU SEEMED

LIKE YOU WERE INTERESTED IN HER.

IN HER?

WHAT ABOUT US?

"US"?

YEAH, US.

YOU AND ME.

WELL, YOU AND NANCY

HAVE A LOT IN COMMON...

EVE...

THE ONLY THING

WE HAVE IN COMMON

IS THAT

WE BOTH LOVE YOU.

I THOUGHT

YOU FELT IT TOO...

WHAT'S BEEN

GOING ON BETWEEN US.

I THOUGHT THAT YOU DIDN'T WANT

ANYTHING TO GO ON HERE.

WELL, CLEARLY YOU DON'T.

OR YOU WOULDN'T BE TRYING

TO SET ME UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

NO, NO, NO,

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I WAS JUST TRYING

TO HELP YOU FIND LOVE.

- HERE.

- WHAT'S THIS FOR?

THAT'S FOR THE NEXT PERSON

YOU HIRE TO PRODUCE YOUR SHOW.

WHAT?

THIS CAN'T WORK, EVE,

NOT NOW.

RICK,

YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

WE GO ON THE AIR LIVE

IN LESS THAN AN HOUR.

NOT "WE."

YOU.

I QUIT.

HAVE A GOOD SHOW.

OH, EVE!

I'M GLAD I CAUGHT YOU.

- HEY.

I WANTED TO TELL YOU

TO BREAK A LEG,

BUT THEN I GOT

TO THINKING

MAYBE THAT WASN'T SUCH

A GOOD THING TO SAY AFTER ALL.

THANKS...

I THINK.

I WOULDN'T WORRY

TOO MUCH.

YOU'RE IN GOOD HANDS

WITH RICK.

HE REALLY CARES

ABOUT YOU.

- YEAH?

- ABSOLUTELY.

YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T

INTERESTED IN HIM,

SO I USED MY BEST HAIR TOSSES

AND MY BIGGEST SMILES,

AND ALL HE COULD DO

WAS TALK ABOUT YOU.

- ME?

- MM-HMM.

I DON'T KNOW

WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS, BUT...

HE'S A KEEPER.

ANYWAY...

GOOD LUCK.

I WILL BE WATCHING YOU.

- EVE, WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM...

- RICK QUIT.

WELL, I'M GLAD

YOU'RE TAKING IT SO CALMLY.

WE GO ON THE AIR

IN 15 MINUTES.

WHERE ARE WE GOING

TO FIND A PRODUCER?

OKAY, EVERYONE.

WE ARE ON

THE TITANIC.

MIGHT AS WELL

ENJOY THE RIDE.

HERE WE GO.

EVERYONE,

TAKE YOUR SEATS.

THE SHOW

IS ABOUT TO START.

HEY, HEY...

OKAY.

LIVE IN TEN.

IS EVE IN POSITION?

HEY, YOU,

PRODUCER.

IS OUR HOST

IN POSITION?

UH, MISS LOVETT...

I MEAN, EVE?

ARE YOU READY?

WELL, IF BY "READY,"

YOU MEAN

"UNCOMFORTABLY HANGING

BY MY ARMPITS FROM THE CEILING,"

THEN SURE.

SHE'S READY.

IN FIVE...

WOW, THE THINGS I DO

TO MAKE A LIVING.

TELL ME ABOUT IT.

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU

DOING UP HERE?

OH, I THOUGHT I WOULD

JUST KEEP YOU COMPANY.

YOU KNOW, NOBODY SHOULD BE

ALONE ON VALENTINE'S DAY.

THREE, TWO...

♪

WELL, I'M STARTING TO THINK

I'M THE EXCEPTION TO THAT RULE.

HEY, WHAT AM I,

CHOPPED LIVER?

COME ON.

IF YOU REALLY BELIEVED THAT,

YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN ME UP

ON THE OFFER IN THE FIRST PLACE.

♪

Announcer: COMING TO YOU

LIVE FROM THE STUDIO,

THE EVE LOVETT SHOW,

STARRING

EVE LOVETT.

YOUR OFFER DIDN'T

DO ME ANY GOOD.

LOOK, I STILL

ENDED UP ALONE.

DID YOU?

REALLY?

DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT I SAID

ABOUT THE PETALS AND THE ROSE?

YEAH.

STILL TRYING

TO FIGURE THAT ONE OUT.

THERE'S NOTHING

TO FIGURE OUT, EVE.

YOU'VE KNOWN THE ANSWER

ALL ALONG.

THREE, TWO, ONE.

CUE THE PUPPET.

AAH!

♪

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY,

EVERYONE.

GOOD AFTERNOON AND WELCOME

TO A VERY SPECIAL LIVE BROADCAST

OF THE EVE LOVETT SHOW.

AS ALWAYS, I'M YOUR HOST,

EVE LOVETT.

AND...

UH...

AND... UH...

OH, I KNEW THIS WAS

A BAD IDEA.

WE BETTER

GO TO COMMERCIAL.

NO, WAIT.

ZOOM IN.

HEY, I CALL THE SHOTS

AROUND HERE.

AND I'M THE PRODUCER.

I KNOW THAT LOOK.

THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD.

ZOOM IN.

ALL ALONG,

WE HAD THIS...

REALLY TERRIFIC SHOW

PLANNED FOR YOU.

WE HAD ROSES

AND CHOCOLATES,

AND... THIS.

BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT

VALENTINE'S DAY IS ABOUT,

IS IT NOW?

IT'S ABOUT LOVE.

I LEARNED SOMETHING

ABOUT LOVE THIS WEEK.

THAT'S RIGHT, EVE LOVETT...

LEARNED SOMETHING.

I LEARNED THAT...

TRUE LOVE ISN'T

FOR THE FAINT AT HEART.

SOMEONE TOLD ME THAT

LOVE WASN'T FOR SISSIES.

IT TAKES COURAGE.

THERE WOULD BE BUMPS

AND BRUISES ALONG THE WAY.

AND SOMETIMES...

SOMETIMES YOU'VE GOT

TO START ALL OVER AGAIN.

BUT NO MATTER

HOW TOUGH IT GETS,

OH, IT'S ALL WORTH IT.

BECAUSE LOVE MAKES US

THE BEST THAT WE CAN BE.

AND I'VE BEEN STARING AT IT

ALL ALONG.

IT WAS RIGHT

IN FRONT OF ME,

AND I DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT.

SO IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

I HAVE TO GO

TAKE CARE OF SOMETHING

THAT I SHOULD HAVE

A LONG TIME AGO.

WHERE IS SHE GOING?

SHE'S THE STAR OF THE SHOW.

FOLLOW HER.

EVE SEEMS TO BE

ON A MISSION.

WE'VE GOT THE MOBILE CREW

TO FOLLOW HER.

LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

Y-YES, I UNDERSTAND.

THANK YOU.

THAT WAS THE HEAD

OF NETWORK.

HE'S WATCHING THE SHOW

FROM HOME.

I KNEW THIS WAS GOING

TO BE A DISASTER.

NO, HE LOVES IT!

HE THINKS IT'S THE MOST

EXCITING THING WE'VE EVER DONE.

YES!

I... I TOLD YOU

THAT THIS WOULD WORK.

ALL RIGHT,

KEEP FOLLOWING HER.

DO NOT LET HER

OUT OF YOUR SIGHT.

SHE'S HEADED

TOWARDS RICK'S OFFICE.

WHAT?

YOU'RE STILL HERE.

EVE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

PLEASE, RICK,

JUST LISTEN.

GUYS,

SHUT OFF THE CAMERA.

SHUT OFF

THE MICROPHONE.

TELL THEM

IF THEY DO,

THEY'LL BOTH BE BACK

WORKING STUDIO TOURS.

SORRY, MR. DAYTON,

WE DON'T WORK FOR YOU ANYMORE.

YOU QUIT,

REMEMBER?

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I DID QUIT.

WHAT, MAKING ME FEEL LIKE

AN IDIOT ONCE WASN'T ENOUGH?

NOW YOU HAVE

TO DO IT ON TV?

NO, I'M THE ONE WHO

SHOULD FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT.

I HAVE BEEN RUNNING

AROUND HERE,

TRYING TO FIND

THE PERFECT COUPLE,

AND WE'VE BEEN RIGHT HERE

ALL ALONG.

WHAT DO YOU WANT, EVE?

I'LL TELL YOU

WHAT I WANT.

I WANT YOU...

TO BE MY VALENTINE.

THAT'S, UH...

THAT'S KIND OF CORNY.

LITTLE CHEESY?

VERY OLD-FASHIONED, YEAH.

"OLD-FASHIONED"?

THAT'S WHY

THE PEOPLE LOVE IT.

AND THAT'S WHY

I LOVE YOU.

IS THAT A COMPLIMENT?

I WOULD SAY SO.

THE FIRST OVERNIGHT RATINGS

JUST CAME IN.

AND WE BEAT

THE SINGING JUDGE...

AND EVERYTHING ELSE.

OUR NUMBERS

ARE THROUGH THE ROOF!

HEY!

TO OUR HOST.

- TO OUR PRODUCER

- AH.

WOW, WHERE'D THOSE

COME FROM?

I THINK I HAVE AN IDEA.

LOOK AT THESE.

"TO EVE AND RICK,

"HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.

FROM ALL OF US

AT THE HEAD OFFICE"?

LONG STORY.

WELL, YOU CAN TELL IT TO ME

ON THE HONEYMOON.

MMM, THOSE CHOCOLATES.

HI, HONEY.

YUP, JUST

ON MY WAY HOME.

I HAD TO WORK

LATE TONIGHT.

WHEW, TOUGH CASE.

BUT WE FINALLY MADE IT

TO HAPPILY-EVER-AFTER

JUST IN TIME.

YES, OF COURSE I PICKED UP

THE FLOWERS AND CAKE

JUST LIKE YOU ASKED.

YES, I KNOW

WHAT DAY IT IS.

I'M CUPID,

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

GIVE ME A LITTLE BIT

OF CREDIT HERE.

COME ON, HONEY.

Cupid, Inc. (2012) - full transcript