Croc! (2022) (2022) - full transcript

Did you know that you
can get married here?

In this old place?

Mm-hmm.

It looks a bit haunted.

What?

No, it doesn't.

I actually think
it's quite romantic.

Romantic?

Mm-hmm.

What happened to getting
married in a church?

Churches are for boring people.



Hey, you know I'm not boring.

Hey, stop.

Stop.

Don't think you can
just ply me with wine

and then get what you want.

Why not?

It usually works.

Maybe.

But you promised me a massage.

And I will, later.

Later?

That's what you
always say, and then

you just conveniently forget.

But I forgot my oil.



Well, I've got some.

Of course you have.

What was that?

What was what?

I heard something.

It's probably just a fox.

No, it was like a growl.

Do you think it could be, like,
one of them big wild cats?

Babe, there are no big
wild cats around here.

It's probably just a badger.

A badger.

Yes, a badger.

Mike?

Mike, please, you're
scaring me now.

Stop it.

Mike!

Mike?

Mike?

Oh, hi, there.

You must be Dylan.

Yeah, hi.

Welcome to Cedar Manor.

Thank you.

Sorry I'm a bit late.

No problem.

I was starting to think that
the wedding was canceled.

No, I just got held
up at Heathrow.

My flight was delayed.

Oh, been anywhere nice?

China.

Oh.

Business or pleasure?

Business.

I work for an
anti-poaching organization.

Oh, wow.

Well, let me show you around.

So I take it you haven't
been here before.

No.

So we cater for weddings
of all different sizes.

We have extensive grounds
and buildings available.

So you can see we have
the hot tub, sauna,

and a pool, and then
this gazebo right here,

where most people get married.

Sounds idea.

Well, tell me more about
this anti-poaching work.

I'm intrigued.

It's mainly educational,
spreading word

about how killing
animals is wrong.

But there's always
some idiots that

think a ground up rhino horn
will give them a hard-on.

That's just silly, isn't it?

So are you ever out there in
Africa in the thick of it?

No.

No.

I quit that a while back.

Oh.

My wife, she was
targeted by poachers.

Since the incident, I took a
step back from ranger work.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

These things happen.

I can't imagine.

How can anyone get over
something like that?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just let it ring.

It's my daughter.

Babe.

I'm coming.

I'm coming.

Yeah, I'm at the venue.

It's great.

They're very accommodating.

You're going to love it.

It's going to be perfect.

Very nice.

It has a certain charm.

A hidden charm.

Hmm.

Rustic.

A tad bougie.

Quite elegant.

Well, I can see what
they're trying to do.

God.

Mine is the four-poster bed.

What?

No.

That's my room, bitch.

Wait.

Ooh, very nice.

Regal.

Boutique?

Functional.

Oh.

And are you going to be
consummating your marriage

in here in 24 hours time?

I'll consummate your
ass in a minute.

Who are you calling?

I'm trying to get
a hold of my dad.

But there is no
bloody reception.

Running late again?

Yep.

You'd think he'd want to be on
time for his only daughter's

wedding.

But...

Oh, chill.

He's probably stuck in traffic.

Yeah.

There you are.

This ain't too shabby.

Hi.

All right, dump your bags.

We are having a cuppa.

Just what the doctor ordered.

I could use something stronger.

Oh, it's that bad, was it?

Just the usual dickheads.

Speaking of which, the boys
should be right behind you.

So come on.

Oh, this is nice.

The boss is actually
making us tea for a change.

Oh, less of your cheek.

Where's Lisa?

She's still trying to get Wi-Fi.

Well, this place is pretty cool.

Amy, did you say you've
been here before?

Yeah, I told Lisa
about this place,

because I'd been here
before with my ex.

Nice.

Did you have a good time?

Can't have been that
good if he's your ex.

Well, we certainly made
use of the hot tub.

Yes, Amy.

Oh, naughty girl.

It hasn't been cleaned since.

I'm not going in it.

Did anyone hear the
story about this place?

Oh, yeah.

No.

No.

What story?

Well, about a year or so
ago, two locals went missing.

The police found the remains
of a party and a torn-up tent

down at the end of the
grounds, but no bodies.

What?

No way.

If you're You telling me that,
I'll never get any sleep.

Oh, babe, you're
sharing a room with me.

You're not getting
any sleep anyway.

Kinky.

Oh, my god, and they
never found them?

No.

And they don't
know what happened.

So the bodies could still
be in the ground somewhere.

Shit, or in the cellar.

Oh, please don't tell me
this place has a cellar.

There might be.

Oh, great choice of location.

There's dead bodies
in the cellar.

Shh.

Dead bodies, where?

Oh, we were just
discussing a horror film.

How'd you get on with the Wi-Fi?

It's still not connecting.

I mean, I unplugged the router.

I reset the whole thing,
and nothing is working.

Why do you need Wi-Fi?

You've got us to entertain you.

It's not that.

It's just I wanted to
live stream the wedding.

And I would use my phone,
but the reception is crap.

And I was promised
that there would be Wi-Fi,

but nothing seems to be working.

And there are people who
aren't going to be here,

like my grandparents.

And I just... they're all
expecting a live stream from me.

And...

Hey, it'll be all right.

We'll get it fixed.

And if not, it's still
being videoed, isn't it?

The most important thing
is that you and Charlie

are getting married tomorrow.

That is definitely
going to happen.

It's your day.

It's all about you
and Charlie boy...

But mostly you.

Oh, speak of the devil.

Ladies.

Hello, wifey.

Not quite yet.

Is everything all right?

Wi-Fi is down.

Oh, shit.

OK, well, Ben could take
a look at it, right?

Yeah.

Probably, yeah.

All right.

So shall we get
this party started?

Yes.

Line them up.

Oh, careful.

Oh, don't worry, it won't stain.

She's more worried
about you wasting it.

Don't worry.

There's plenty more
where this came from.

Wifey?

Well, no.

No, I am not really drinking.

And nor should you be.

I don't want you looking
all hungover tomorrow.

Oh, what are you trying to say?

Ben, you are in charge of
making sure he doesn't overdo it

tonight, please.

Yes, ma'am.

Are you drinking this then?

Absolutely.

OK, fill her up.

All right, come on.

Don't be shy.

I'm not being shy.

More?

More.

Yeah?

More.

More?

Chin, chin, Benjamin.

Cheers, mate.

Ladies and this muppet,
I'd like to thank you

all for coming to watch me
marry this absolute beauty.

Here's to an
unforgettable wedding.

Whoo!

Cheers.

Cheers!

Cheers!

Cheers!

Yes, with the palm trees.

With the cocktails, those
really good cocktails.

What was that guy's name?

The...

Umbrellas and...

It was like or something.

That's my dad.

Be right back.

OK.

And what time do you call this?

I'm sorry, babe.

You know how it is...

Work commitments.

So where's my room?

Come on, this way.

I'm afraid you're stuck
with a single room,

although I'm not sure you're
going to fit in this bed.

Don't worry.

Reminds me of the ranger ways...

Teeny, tiny camp beds.

I can't believe my little
girl is getting married.

I'm not a little girl anymore.

I am all grown up, with
a job and everything.

You call it a job.

But we both know,
fashion isn't a real job.

Fashion isn't a real job.

Don't let Vanessa hear you say
that. she'd probably slap you.

To be honest, I think
you'd come off second best.

Sounds hot.

Oh, Dad.

No, I think you two would
actually get on really well.

I don't know.

Maybe it's time to...

Lisa.

Dad, come on.

It's been a long time since...

I just want to see
you happy again.

I know.

I know, yes.

That reminds me.

I've got something for you.

I believe the traditional
rhyme goes, something old.

I got this for your Mum
when we were in Africa.

And I want you to have it.

Thank you.

Now, don't get emotional.

You go join the party.

I'll be down in a second.

Oh, you surprised me.

Hi, I'm Vanessa.

Dylan.

We...

We met before, didn't we?

Yeah, the...

The Christmas party
at the sky garden.

Ah, yes, a little
glitzy for my taste.

Yes, I remember you saying that
you didn't really do fashion.

Hmm.

Well, you certainly know
how to pick out a shirt.

That's saying something.

Well, it is just a
shirt and trousers.

I can't really get that wrong.

You'd be surprised.

Can I get you a drink?

Absolutely.

I see you two are
getting reacquainted.

Vanessa's just giving
me some fashion tips.

Oh, well, I've been trying
to do that for years.

But it sounds like you're having
a lot more success than I ever

did, so I'll leave
you guys to it.

What do you think you're doing?

Now kiss!

Kiss!

I am going to go to bed.

Oh, OK, honey.

Don't stay up too late.

I thought we were going to
wait until we were married

for you to start nagging me.

Yeah, well, I am
just practicing.

Good night, everyone.

Night.

Night.

Hey, how's it going?

How about me and you go
walk around the grounds.

Oh, I'm pretty quiet tired,
so better catch some Zs.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, maybe tomorrow then.

Don't worry about it, mate.

She'll be up for it tomorrow.

Bridesmaids are always
gagging for it on the day, OK?

Yeah.

So chin up.

Go get some rest.

I'll clean up here, OK?

All right.

Hi, there.

Hi.

So you've been making
eyes at me all night.

Thought there was
something on my face.

Could be if you want it to.

Oh, yeah?

Such as?

See, I think it's just
better if I show you.

My heart is saying, no.

But you're dick's saying, yes.

Your dick always says, yes.

Come on.

She's not married yet.

True.

Who knows?

We'll before then.

Come on.

I'm coming.

Tell you what,
Georgie, you'd better

be leading me out to my death.

My god, don't be so ridiculous.

What is this place?

Georgie, it's a...

Don't complain.

It's a nice place.

Jesus Christ.

This all right?

We shouldn't be doing this.

It's OK.

Come on.

You wanted this.

The torch.

Fuck the torch.

Yeah, come on.

I'm coming.

Yeah.

Bet Lisa doesn't fuck
you like this, eh?

I love it when you go hard.

It's all right,
probably just a fox.

What's that?

Georgie.

Georgie!

Georgie, the window!

The sill, it's stuck.

Come on!

Come on!

Oh, Georgie.

Fuck!

Georgie.

All set for the big day?

Yeah.

You?

Yeah.

Don't fuck this up.

Where'd you go, mate?

Uh, just for a wander.

You didn't see Georgie,
did you, on your travels?

She wasn't in her room.

No.

Bet she's playing hard to get.

Ben?

Yeah?

Nothing.

Good night.

Morning, bridey.

Morning.

You're getting married today.

Stop.

It's not normal to have this
much energy in the morning.

Plant-based diet,
I keep telling you.

No.

No way.

I'm not giving up
my meat, bacon.

Speaking of, can I bring
you some breakfast?

Oh, no.

No, I don't want to be bloated.

OK, but at least eat something.

Nobody wants a dead bride.

Piece of bacon?

Oh, please.

Amazing.

We seem to be missing the bride.

Oh, she's just staying in her
room until the big moment.

We don't want to see the groom.

It's bad luck.

What about the groom?

Oh, he's still in bed
pending bacon Sammy.

Has anyone seen Georgie?

Probably still
trying to avoid Ben.

What?

Nothing.

She's staying in
your room, isn't she?

Well, I thought
so, but she wasn't

there before I went to sleep.

Oh, weird.

Oh, my god, do you
think she's with Dylan?

No.

I didn't think he was her type.

Is he?

Well, that settles it.

Settles what?

Oh, well, maybe
she was with Amy.

Who?

Was Georgie staying
in your room?

No.

Must be Dylan then.

Dylan?

You're doing Lisa's hair
and makeup, aren't you?

Yeah.

When you go up,
take that with you.

Try to get her to
eat at least some.

Yeah, sure thing.

All right, ladies, I'm going
to take this to the groom.

See you at the wedding.

Bye.

All right.

I ain't got a napkin.

Brekkies.

Cheers.

You all right, mate?

Are you a bit nervous?

What I'm about to tell you
does not leave this room.

All right.

Yeah, that's what
best men are for.

Last night...

Yeah?

...I was with Georgie.

Oh.

I'm sorry, mate.

We go way back.

And we've always been
fond of each other.

Hey, it's not the
end of the world.

And you get on to me now.

So...

No, that's not it.

No?

While we were at it,
we were attacked.

Attacked?

This is going to sound insane...

By a giant crocodile.

A crocodile?

It got Georgie.

Wait.

This is a prank, right?

No.

No, I'm dead serious.

It came out of nowhere,
just bit her in half.

What's a crocodile
doing around here?

I don't know.

Ben, that doesn't matter.

The thing is I can't tell
anyone, because then they will

know that I was with Georgie.

And the wedding... just keep
an eye out for it in case

it, like, shows up.

All right.

Oh, you look lovely.

Hi.

Are you OK?

Charlie.

Charlie!

Dad.

Hi.

Hi, Mom.

Hello, darling.

How are you?

Yeah, I'm OK, yeah.

You seem a bit anxious.

Why so nervous?

This is the easy bit.

It's the next 50 years
that's the hard bit.

Just keep your eyes peeled, OK?

My beautiful daughter.

Hi.

Sorry.

You look stunning, darling.

Thank you.

You don't know where
Georgie is, do you?

No.

It's just that we
kind of thought...

Never mind.

No one's seen her this morning.

We have no idea where she is.

Where could she have gone?

She had a few drinks
last night, yeah?

Yeah.

She hasn't got a
reason to vanish...

I mean, her depression, anxiety?

No.

Can she swim?

I think so.

OK, I'm going to
scout the grounds.

You stay here.

OK.

I hate to say this, but I've got
another appointment after this.

Oh, OK.

All right, yeah.

Must be so proud.

Hmm.

We can't find Georgie.

OK.

Can we go without her?

Without?

Dylan's looking for her now.

Give us a few minutes.

No word?

No.

The reverend is
getting impatient.

We may have to go ahead anyway.

One must go.

Fingers crossed.

Fuck.

Oh, shit.

Shit.

If he doesn't turn
up in two minutes,

we'll have to go
ahead without him.

No.

No, there's no way I'm getting
married without my dad.

You might have to, babe.

Who's going of walk
me down the aisle?

Well, I can't, can I?

That would be weird.

I guess I could.

I've almost been like a
surrogate parent, anyway.

I'd like that.

Where's her dad?

We can't find him.

What?

It's fine.

Hey, you come with a package.

Ladies and gentlemen... in these
days, I'm obligated to say,

and those who
identify as neither...

It's lovely to see
you all here today.

And I'm so glad that you
could make the journey

in these difficult times.

Dearly beloved...

...We are gathered here
today in the presence of...

All mighty god!

Get up.

Get up.

Come on, get up.

Get up.

Get up.

Hey, come on.

Come on. get up.

Get up.

Sarah, there's two of them.

Sarah, there's two of them.

Wait.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Go.

Go.

Go.

Go.

Go.

Go.

Tara.

Oh, my god.

Tara, we got to go.

Fuck.

Running for my car.

My car's around the corner.

Wait.

In here.

In here.

What the fuck just happened?

I don't know.

Get it open.

Fuck.

Oh, guys, I'm going
to need first aid.

What is happening?

Why is this happening?

Why is this happening
to me on my wedding day?

First, my bridesmaid
goes missing.

And Then my dad goes missing.

And then...

Do you think it got them?

Do you think it's
eaten them as well?

What if it bites us?

What if it gets in here?

Don't worry.

It can't get in here.

Let me in!

It's the reverend.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Are you all right?

Yes, I'm alive, thank god.

But others weren't so lucky.

Is it just you?

Did you see anyone else?

Have you seen Amy or V, my dad?

I don't know.

Everyone went in
different directions.

So what do we do?

Well, call emergency
services, and then

hope that thing doesn't get
anyone else in the meantime.

It's going to be
easier said than done.

There's no bars.

Is there a land line?

No.

Great.

Then we're fucked.

Sorry.

Don't worry.

I think I may have just
said similar words myself.

What now then?

Let's pray.

Dear heavenly father, we pray
for your help in these trying

times.

We pray for you to look
after us and to protect us

against the beast.

Where's Neil?

I've got to find Neil.

No.

He went the other way.

The car keys.

No.

Neil's got the keys.

Maybe we can make it to the car.

It's there.

Shh.

Don't make a sound.

Where's Lisa?

We have to find Lisa.

Don't worry.

I'm sure she's fine.

The most important thing is
we get safe and we get help.

OK.

Let's try and get to my car.

I've got keys.

No!

Tabby?

I'll start it up.

OK, pull yourself together.

When in times of stress, always
go back to your breathing.

Fuck.

Oh, come on.

Tabby?

God.

It's all right.

You're going to be OK.

Let's get you to the car.

Maybe we should go back.

They might be
wondering where we are.

Or if we're still alive.

Maybe we should just
wait here and see

if someone comes and finds us.

Sarah, don't move.

Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit.

Oh, my god, what do we do?

Find a way out.

It's locked.

We need to get out of here.

Help!

Sarah, help!

Sarah!

Christ, you scared
the shit out of me.

Sorry.

You couldn't be heard screaming.

What the hell is that?

And where is it?

It's a crocodile, but I
don't know what species.

I thought you were an expert.

Not exactly.

But I do know it shouldn't
be living in this climate.

And it's also very dangerous.

Tell me something I don't know.

You got a twig in your hair.

Good.

Let me untangle it.

Is that your distressed look?

You didn't answer my question.

Yes, it's out there.

And how are we going to kill it?

I don't intend to kill it.

I intend to catch it.

All right, we need a plan.

Agreed.

Don't look at me.

I'm qualified to give spiritual
guidance and the like.

Escaping man-eating crocodiles
is not my speciality.

We just need to kill
the bloody thing.

So let's find a big gun
and shoot the bastard.

And where do you propose
we get a gun from?

There was a pair of
shotguns on the farm.

Great.

I'll just teleport to your
parents' farm then and get one,

shall we?

All right, guns are out.

Are we going to kill this thing?

We don't have to kill it.

It's still one of
God's creatures.

And it's clearly upset.

It's upset?

The crocodile is upset?

Oh, that's all right then

that everybody's dying,
because the crocodile

is having a bad day.

I didn't mean-

I am upset, OK?

In case you hadn't noticed,
my wedding day is ruined.

And people we know are dead.

Right.

Just calm down.

Don't tell me to calm down.

At least we aren't
live streaming this.

Can you imagine?

At least then someone
would come to our rescue.

Oh, god, I wish my dad was here.

He'd know what to do, if
he's even still out there.

If anyone knows how to
deal with a crocodile,

it's definitely your dad.

Shit.

It's Amy.

Oh, my god.

Fuck.

Oh, shit.

Shit.

Come on, Amy, drive.

It's relentless.

Catch it?

What do you mean, catch it?

Exactly that-take it
to a zoo, and tag it.

Really?

So that thing has been rampage
at your daughter's wedding,

killed I don't know
how many people,

and you want to catch
it and keep it as a pet?

That's what I do.

I protect animals.

Protect them?

What about the humans
that have died?

So you don't care about humans.

Some of them.

Well, I bet you'd have a
different view if that thing

got your daughter.

She'll be fine.

Not to put a damper on
things, but how do you know?

That thing could have got
her like it got Tabby.

Practically bit her in half.

And it got the camera
man and chewed him and...

Because I know, all right.

She'll be fine.

Yeah, that's easy
for you to say.

It didn't attack you.

Yes, it did.

Shit.

When did that happen?

Earlier in the barn.

Oh, god, it looks nasty.

Let me take a look.

Shit, there it is.

Shit, Amy's in trouble.

Heavenly father, we beseech
you to help our friend Amy

in her time of need.

Please forgive her her
sins, whatever they may be.

And deliver her safely to
us, just like your son,

our savior, Jesus Christ,
delivered us from evil.

Amen.

One question, reverend.

Where was your holy father
when the crocodile started

to kill everyone a minute ago?

Why should he help Amy
what he didn't help them,

or my parents,
wherever they are?

Oh, I don't know.

The Lord moves in
mysterious ways.

Oh, yes, he does.

He put a killer crocodile in
the middle of fucking Hampshire.

It doesn't get much more
mysterious, does it?

Charles, Amy is
in serious danger.

This is where all that
yoga training pays off.

You're safe now.

Thank god.

No, thank my dad.

Did you see him?

No, I just know that was him.

Oh.

The crocodile is
still out there.

So what are we going to do?

We wait.

Well, I guess we know what
happened to Georgie then.

I just wish she'd told someone
before she wandered off

on her own.

That doesn't seem like her.

That will be my dad.

Oh.

Oh, my god.

You're all right.

Did he get you?

I'm fine.

Oh, god, we need to find my dad.

We need to get you
some proper first aid.

OK.

There might be a first
aid kit in the pool house.

OK, let's go.

Come on.

I've got this.

It's not pretty.

I'm sorry.

I can't deal with her being
in the pool like that.

We'll move her in a minute.

Right.

Let's see what we can do.

You know, I've never seen
this side to you before.

I thought you were just this
womanizing playboy guy who

told women he saved
leopards for a living.

But I don't think
that's the real you.

After my wife died,
I was the real me.

It is the real me.

Maybe you're living in the past.

Maybe.

There, try that.

You know, for someone
without a proper job,

you're pretty useful.

Maybe we need to work
on your flirting a bit.

It's Lisa.

Where?

She's trying to send a message.

Top window.

Is that Morse code?

Yeah, she remembers.

Wow.

What's she saying?

Charlie's wounded.

Are you OK?

Thank god for text speak.

Question for you, reverend.

Yes.

Being a man of the
cloth, why do you

think God has done
something like this?

If I say, he moves
in mysterious ways...

Wouldn't cut it.

Well, then I don't
know, I'm afraid.

I'm stumped.

You don't think it's
because we're all evil,

we deserve to die?

No.

No.

No.

No.

There's lots of
good people here.

There were.

You know, I do wonder.

All these natural disasters...

Hurricanes, floods, fires...
People that survive,

they often thank
God to be alive.

But it's the ones that
die I think about.

What did they do?

If God sent the
hurricane and the floods,

why did he let some people die
and some survive, you know?

So what do you think
your purpose is here?

Is this some kind of test?

Or is it just a coincidence?

I don't believe in
such thing as coincidences.

You do think it
happened for a reason.

Whatever reasons they may be.

Who knows?

Maybe this is your moment,
your martyr moment.

Maybe you're the
one that's going

to save us and deliver us.

Maybe.

Right.

My dad is in the pool
house with Amy and V.

The croc is doing
laps of this house.

So we just need to time it right
so we can get them over here.

Where do you want me?

You stay here.

You call to me as soon
as you see it coming.

I'll signal to
them from upstairs.

And then we just need
somebody by the back door.

Allow me.

OK.

I'm not seeing it.

It's going for the pool house.

Wait.

You don't think it's...

Humans don't knock like that.

I've never seen a croc
use the door handle yet.

Shit.

We need to distract it.

We need to get it
away from there.

Wait.

Oh, my god.

Hey!

Hey, crocodile!

Come and get me!

The reverend is using
himself as a decoy.

You tell me as soon
as the coast is clear.

Over here!

OK, get ready.

Go.

Come on.

Hey.

Hey.

God does work in
mysterious ways.

Easy.

Easy.

What's wrong?

Just a bit of collateral damage.

I'll be fine.

Hey.

So is this all of us?

What are your thoughts?

Why is this thing here?

Did someone put it here?

No.

I found its nest, and
half a tent, and this.

I don't know why it's here.

I don't know how it survived.

But that's why I
need to capture it.

Capture it?

Whoa.

Like take it alive?

Mate, I know you're all
for saving the wildlife.

But that thing has killed dozens
of people, including my family.

And it's trying to get us.

Now, if it's easier to
kill it, I say, kill it.

I agree.

Dad, I know you want to save
it, but that thing is dangerous.

You're already injured.

Can we please just be sensible?

If we can capture it, if it's
at all possible, let's do that.

So now what?

We stay put.

We batten down the
hatches, keep it out.

We've got food.

We can survive until
someone comes to help us,

or we can find some
opportunity to escape.

In the meantime, we
shut and bolt the doors.

We shut the windows.

We double check them.

And we make weapons...

Knives, sticks, boiling water,
whatever we can... to hurt it,

to slow it down, to trap it.

We make this place a fortress.

I don't see the point in this.

It's a hotel.

It's not like we're
going to find heavy duty

rope or a tranquilizer gun.

If you do find a tranquilizer
gun, use it on me.

It's starting to sting a little.

Nothing up there but a
load of old bed sheets.

I only found a couple
of kitchen knives.

I don't think anyone expected
this place to be under siege.

I found a fire poker
and croquet mallets.

What are these?

They're clothes.

They're your
clothes, aren't they?

Uh...

You were wearing
them last night.

I remember.

There are photos of us together.

So what were they doing
stashed downstairs?

I went on a walk last night
after everyone had gone to bed.

And I was a little drunk.

I couldn't see
where I was going.

And I walked face
first into the pond.

When I got back, I
threw them down there,

because I didn't want anyone
to see me soaking wet.

I cut myself when
I was in the pond.

They've got to have a sign,
or a fence, or something.

It's insane.

Bullshit.

You were Georgie, weren't you?

No.

Don't lie to me.

I know you were with her.

Just tell me the truth.

I know you've always
had a thing for her.

OK, we went on
the walk together.

But that's all that happened.

I swear.

The crocodile attacked
her, and I freaked out.

You fucking liar.

Do you know how I know?

Because I've told
plenty of lies.

I should drag you out there,
feed you to the fucking crocs.

Dad, stop, please.

Tell me why I shouldn't.

Punishment usually
needs to fit the crime.

Oh, it does.

Stop.

Enough people have died today.

We don't need to
go there, no matter

how much you think.

I'm so sorry.

It meant nothing.

God, what an excuse.

So when you proposed to
me, did that mean nothing?

Or our wedding vows,
if we had got that far,

would they have meant nothing?

I'm so done with you.

Asshole.

I'll be right back.

You, don't say a word.

And you, give me that.

My life is a mess, Amy.

God, it's a disaster.

I have a pointless
job that serves

no real purpose, something
my dad likes to remind me

of every time he sees me.

My wedding day has gone
from shit to worse.

And I just found
out that my fiancee

has been shagging one of
my friends, my friend who

is now dead.

And to top it off, we
are still being hunted

by the crocodile from hell.

I'm not going to lie...

You're not living your
best life right now.

But your job isn't pointless.

Millions of people
appreciate what you do.

And as for Charlie, it's a
good job you found out now.

Imagine if you'd married him.

Once a cheat, always a cheat.

True.

We're going to avenge
your friend's death

and kill that damn crocodile.

Yeah.

Good.

Is there anything else
I can help you with?

Yeah, make me a sandwich.

I'm fucking starving.

So what, we just wait
until someone finds us?

I guess so.

It could take ages.

I know.

And we don't even have
the Wi-Fi to entertain us.

Oh, guess I'll make a..

Good idea.

I'll see if anyone
else wants one.

It's in the house!

The crocodile's in the house!

It's inside.

It's down there.

It can't climb stairs, can it?

It'll figure them out.

We need to block the stairs.

Oh, fuck sake.

OK.

Well...

OK.

...That should stop it for now.

Lisa, are you OK?

Yeah, we're all right.

I'm not sure I trust
this door, though.

Stay there.

I'll figure it out.

You guys OK?

Yeah.

What now?

I have a revolver in the car.

You've had a gun
this whole time?

I keep it for emergencies.

And it's only just now
become an emergency?

Yeah, there's one problem.

The keys are on the
stand next to my coat.

That's the end of it.

Yeah.

Come on then.

Where the fuck's the croc?

I don't know.

We got them!

I'm going out the window.

Good luck.

Cock it.

Undo safety.

Dylan, kill this thing now!

Dad, what was that?

That.

Now, listen, it's
up to you to now.

You're going to have to
work out how to kill it.

Remember everything
I've taught you.

Use your initiative.

I know you can do it.

OK.

All right, think.

Think.

What do we have?

What can we use?

You lure it in.

I'll cave it's
head in with this.

You're on your own there.

No.

No, I think we need
less direct methods.

Glass will slow it down.

Yeah, but then what?

We set fire to it.

I like the way you think.

And we have flares.

So we take the flares, and we
guide it to an outbuilding,

and shut the door,
and set fire to it.

We could use the pool house.

We could drop it in the pool.

No.

No, it'd just climb out.

Well, can we drain it?

Maybe we don't have to.

What's that?

It's venison from Neil's farm.

It's supposed to be for dinner.

Well, don't fuck this up.

I mean, shame to waste it.

Make her proud.

Come on.

Come on.

Guide it in the pool.

Over here!

Come on!

I'm in the.

Go.

Go.

Go.

Go!

Go!

It's.

You're late.

What can I say?

You two make a great team.

Thank fuck for that.

We need to get
you to a hospital.

A hospital?

Yes.

Your leg's about to drop off,
and I want you in one piece.

You want me in one piece?

Please may I have?

You all right?

Don't even.

I'm sorry, darling.

Look at it this way...

Your honeymoon
can't be any worse.