Critters 3 (1991) - full transcript

What?

- All the cops have wooden legs!
- They sure do!

- All right, hold on!
- What is it?!

Flat tire! Hold on!

Oh, man.

All right, I'm gonna find
a place to pull over.

Oh, man.

Excuse me.

Hey, I like this place.

Maybe we could build
some houses,

just like
Gilligan's Island.



Gilligan's Island?

After all
that's happened, Annie,

what's wrong
with going home?

Dad...

- vacation was fine.
- Yeah, fine.

Let's face it, Annie,

it's just not the way
that it was.

Dad, Mom's been dead
for two years.

It's the way it is.

We have lift-off.

Honey, look, why don't you
just hit the cooler,

get yourself some pop?

But stay close, okay,
'cause I want to fix this tire

and get on home.



Hey, don't go
down there, kid.

There's all kinds
of wild animals and shit.

- Who do you belong to?
- Who do you belong to?

Hey! Hey, you!
Hands off!

Are you some kind
of a pervert or something?

Johnny,
you know better than that.

You don't even know this guy.

Hey, hey, wait a minute.
I don't know you either, okay?

He almost
went over the edge.

There could be badgers
or something down there.

Throw it.

Come on, throw it.

Well, throw it.

Go back, come on.

Wow, bald and flat.

I feel for you, man.

Sometimes life really sucks,
doesn't it?

Looks like you just bought me
a tournament Frisbee, dude.

I can get it back.
No sweat.

Come on. What, are you guys
standing guard? Let's go.

Come on, guys, let's go
the other way, okay?

Johnny, come on.

Ah, ha!

I told you.

Was I right,
or was I right?

No playing here!

You kids oughta
know better than...

wait.

You hear it?

It could be anywhere
around here.

Above us, behind us,

or in the ground.

Do you think this is
some kind of joke?

You think this is
some kind of game?!

They're hungry.
All they do is eat.

You got to keep a weathered
eye out all the time!

If you don't watch
every minute... then wham!

Then it's too late.

Who are you?

Any of you ever hear
of a place called Grover's Bend?

It's a real town
with real people.

Now, in 1984...

I was riding my bicycle

and I looked up.

I saw this thing
in the sky.

Call the Army.
They're here!

- Who?
- Who?!

Them!

On Earth

I was just a big nobody.

Up in space I am
somebody.

Charlle bounty hunter.

Yeah, "Charlie
bounty hunter."

Dad's all torn up
and Mom's got like

a harpoon thing in her neck,
and they're getting bigger.

You're not
from around here, are you?

I got to go where
the cosmic winds blow me.

I got to...

go where no man
has gone before.

I'm a bounty hunter!

Come on, you can't expect us

to believe this horseshit.

You can believe
what you want, son.

All I know is you got to
get away from here

while you still can.

Well, there's something
I can agree with.

So walk away.

There you go.

Probably could've used that lug
wrench a little while longer.

Got it.

You should have had
your spare tire down here.

Could've saved you
some traveling.

Never know when
you're gonna have a flat tire

on an antique like this.

Are you supposed
to be scary?

Me?

No.

It ain't me,
it's them.

I've seen them.

I've been
seeing them for...

Look, you believe
in monsters?

- Yeah.
- Good. Good.

That's what
I'm telling you about.

Now, some friends
of mine from...

a long way off,

they gave me
a whole bunch of these.

I only got
a couple left,

but I want you
to have one.

Now, if this ever starts
to glow bright green,

that's the time
to watch out for yourself.

And your family.

- Green.
- That's right, green.

Annie! Johnny!

All aboard!

We really have to go now.

- Yeah, give my regards to Mars.
- Don't be so quick.

You're not as smart
as you think you are.

You can have the rest
of my root beer.

Thank you, partner.
It's my favorite.

Johnny, come on now.

Look what I found.

Whoa, what is it?

I don't know. It looks
like a big electric bullet.

Homemade.
He dropped it.

Joshua!
Front and center, now.

- Joshua?
- Josh, please.

- Is that your father?
- Stepfather.

Never, never will we trust you
out of our sight again.

When I say five minutes,

I don't mean seven,
I don't mean three.

Discipline from now on,
young man. Hmm?

I will not
and your mother will not...

spare anymore rods.

Is he going
to get spanked?

I don't think his mom
is going to let that happen.

Well, Big John, I guess
we had some adventure, huh?!

Dad!

Dad, you should
have seen it!

There was this guy,
this really strange guy--

I really don't care, Annie.

I told you two to stay close,
now, didn't I?

Look at the two of you...
you're filthy.

- Johnny, get in the truck.
- I know, Dad,

but he came out of the ground
and scared the crap out of us.

He scared the crap
out of us.

Miss Sawyer...

can we please watch
our language around Johnny?

Shit.

Look, honey, I just don't know
what to say to you.

Well, you could say

that you're not
going on the road tomorrow.

You could say that
I'm not old enough

to take care of myself.

Honey, you're not
being fair.

Mr. And Mrs. Menges take
real good care of you guys.

They're like family.
Hey...

it's the best
that I can do.

Besides, you're
a young woman now.

Maybe I don't want
to be a young woman now.

Grover's Bend?

What a crock.

You're listening to Topeka's

number one country
radio station.

Country 107, KTPK.

Hey, Frank,

give me a hand with some
of this stuff, man.

Absolutely, Mario.

I am the handyman
after all.

- You asshole.
- I heard that.

Vaya con Dios, Mario.

Four more units
to vacate, Jessie,

and I'm a rich man.

Hey, you got
the elevator fixed.

Frankie.

Hey, not for you, Rosie.

There's still
a one-ton load limit.

Ooh, you...

Yo, yo, yo.
Check your weapons at the door,

it's the chick
that walks like a man.

Dating outside
our species now, huh?

Oh, very funny.

Very, very funny.

I wasn't talking
to you, Frank.

Yo, Marcia,

I got a little
phone problem.

Maybe you can
come down to the basement

and check out my equipment.

Sorry, Frank,
I left my microscope upstairs.

Ho-ho! Ho!

She's killing me.

Hey, Mario.

I sure am sorry to see
you go, my friend.

I just killed two rats
this morning.

Rats?!

Hey, Frank... rats.

Hey, don't look at me.

I got to see them
to "e-rat-icate" them.

Yo, Jessie,
look who's home.

Something's wrong.

No brakes!

No brakes!
Hold onto Johnny.

Everybody all right?

Yeah.

Safe at home.

Oh, man.

I'm sorry, Mario.
No brakes.

Something I can do?

That's okay.

Is everybody okay?

So, uh, Frank,

you going to give us
a hand with this?

No.

I'm the maintenance man.

He doesn't live here
anymore.

Muah.

I'll miss you, Jess.

I'll be in my office.

Would you mind, uh,
clean up this junk?

The guy's a waste
of protein.

Yeah, but what
a snappy dresser.

Oh, Dad, I'm gonna go
say hello to the Menges.

Yeah, but don't go up
empty handed.

You take something with,
all right?

Ladies.

Java.

Fuck. Wh...?

What's this?

Oh, that's dlsgustlng.
Wha--

Yeah, you're next, pal.

Hey, girl.

Oh.

Going down to help Dad?

I thought I might.

I mean, we got ourselves
a loaded truck,

an unloaded camper,
a car wreck...

- I think they can use my help.
- Um, Marcia?

Are there any jobs down
at the phone company?

What, you need a job?

Ah, you want
Clifford home.

Well, I was just thinking.

We'll see what we can do.

Yeah, we will.

- Hello! Hello, Annie.
- Hello.

Oh, welcome home, dear.
Come in.

Did you have
a wonderful trip?

Dear, say hello to Annie.

They've just been
to the Grand Canyon.

Say, did you know

they just discovered
an alien graveyard there?

- Who did?
- Government.

Secret.

Wait till you taste
what I'm cooking today.

Where's Johnny?
He'll love them.

Tell me about
your trip, dear.

Oh, yeah.

Well, we froze
to death in Arizona,

saw these Indian caves
in Mesa Verde,

and met this weird lunatic

near Grover's Bend.

He jumped right out
from the ground.

So you had a good time?

Grover's Bend?

I'm making Mr. Menges'
favorite dish today.

Ham and beans.

Oh, will you and Johnny
stay for dinner?

Oh, no.

It's our last night
together with Dad.

He leaves on the 8:15
to Chicago.

Uh, we better save
the tarts till later, dear.

I don't want your father to say
I spoiled your dinner...

again.

Hello, girls.

How you doing, eh?

Are you a little hungry?

How about I give you to
the old farts upstairs tonight?

Iris Arms apartment complex,

Frank Longo
at your service.

- Longo, what's the good news?
- Uh, yo.

Right here.
Right here, Mr. Briggs.

I hope you did
what I'm paying you for.

Yes.
Well, yes, I did.

Yes, I did.

Mario is history
as of right now.

You promised me all of them.

- I lose my Investors...
- Hey.

Wha--

The way I look at this,

is that you are making

all the "e! Giganto“ profits
off the sale of this shithole,

not little old moi.

- You listen to me, Frank.
- Well...

Well, maybe it's time
that you get

down here and get involved.

Look, I hired you so I wouldn't
have to get involved.

I'm not lifting another finger
until you pay me for Mario!

You got that?!
You can take that to the bank!

Balls!

Hello?

Hello?

Where are you?

What are you doing out

without Uncle Frankie's
permission, huh?

Go back upstairs
where you belong!

Work with me!

What this dump needs
is a good four alarm fire.

- Dad, dlnner's getting cold.
- Comlng.

I want you to listen
to the Menges.

Sometimes I think
you don't listen.

I'll be back
Friday night.

- Oh, toothpaste.
- Got it.

And Dad, you really should
pack some vitamins, too.

And I want you to help her
make beds in the mornings.

She's not a young woman,
you know.

- I'm done.
- Can't you wait for Dad?

Mr. M promised me
pirate stories.

Ahh!

- Bye.
- Bye.

- You be a good boy.
- Okay.

- See ya.
- See ya.

- Dad.
- Hmm?

What's going to happen
to the Menges?

I mean, where will
they go?

We're going to have
to move too, you know.

They'll get us out.

Dad, you're going to have
to deal with this.

You got to think about it,
make some decisions.

Annie...

I'm going
to eat my dinner,

and then I'm going to watch
some moronic situation comedy,

and then I'm going to sleep
the sleep of the dead.

Can we worry about
this tomorrow, hmm?

I love my work.

Ow, ow, ow!

Hot! Hot!

Damn teenagers!

Wh...

Oh! Oh, oh...

Hairballs.

Did you hear something?

No.

Tell Johnny bedtime,
one hour.

That goes for you, too.

Oh, and give this check
to Mrs. Menges.

It's for taking care
of you guys.

Tell her I'll cover
the rest of it when I get back.

Dad, remember how much fun
we used to have?

Yeah.

Well,
wh--what was I like then?

Shorter.

Dad...

maybe I could
go get Johnny

and we could play a game
or something.

Honey, give me your
battery-powered TV, would you?

- Who's there?
- It's just me.

Laundry night.

I'm a little spooked
tonight, too.

Did you hear
screaming before?

It was probably
just Frank.

- What is eating him?
- I don't know.

Frank's just naturally
repulsive.

Say hello to
Mrs. And Mr. Manges for me.

Alright.

Aaah!

Frank?

I know you're there.
I can hear you breathing.

Talk to me, Frank.

Frank?

Frank? Hello?

All right, Longo, very funny.
Enough is enough.

Frank?

We are not amused.

Frank, try to guess just how
close your termination is.

Okay, it's your funeral,
wiseass.

I'm coming over there and
taking care of things myself.

We got another errand to do
before we sleep, sport.

Business.

Can't you just
drop me off at home?

No way, sport.

Someday this pool
will be yours.

You're going to have
to learn how to swim in it.

Looks like they'll have to meet
their landlord after all.

See?
Grover's Bend, 1986.

Now, you can see the same kind
of occurrence two years later...

1988.

Even local law enforcement

claims they've seen
space aliens.

One of them supposedly killed
a sheriff in the '88 encounter.

A sheriff?

Yes.
A sheriff wearing...

an Easter Bunny suit.

And I'll bet the aliens
were all wearing tuxedos.

Of course,

he must have been reading
the same newspapers as you.

That's where he got the story
in the first place.

Who? What guy?

That crazy guy
we ran into on vacation.

He actually believes
this stuff.

Oh... I didn't mean...

It's okay.

Look, I'm sorry.

I guess I'm still upset over
a fight I just had with my dad.

I'm going to go back downstairs
and check on him.

I'll be back
for Johnny in awhile.

Well, John, you still like
my stories, don't you?

- It's him!
- Huh? Who?

If it glows green,

that's the time
to watch out for yourself.

Her first frame is a strike.

Michelle led in the earlier
rounds in this tournament,

and was the hot item around

Southern California
when it came to sports.

She really was.

Yesterday,
in the second round

of match play,
Steve, she bowled incredibly.

She had a 300...

Hello?

Frank?

Frank, is that you...

or some other rat?

Well... huh.

Terrific.

You pervert.

We got varmints.

Frank,

what in the wild world
of Geraldo

is going on down here?

Oh, my God.

Oh...

Oh, no! What is it?!

Aaah!

There's more of them!

Get away.
Get away.

Oh, no, no!
No, please!

What are these things?!

Annie! Annie, help me!
Get it off, get it off!

Get me out of this.

Oh, Annie, hurry!

Hurry, they're going
to come again!

- Rosalle, give me some slack!
- Okay. Owl

It hurts.
It hurts.

Oh, Annie...

Frank.

Oh, Annie, let's
get out of here!

Annie! Annie!

Oh, Annie!

Come on!

- Help me here. Okay.
- Yeah, okay.

Feast your eyes on the future
site of Briggs' Mini Mall.

Nice concept, huh?

Naming it after
yours truly.

But Mom said
the court ordered you

to pay them money to move.
To relocate.

Not if they move
on their own accord, sport.

"Sport."

There are much simpler ways
to sweep and clear.

You'll see.

You'll learn.

Come on.

I'll teach you.

Oh, God, please make
this a dream.

Rosalie, come on!

Come on.
Dad!

Dad!

- What? I
- That's right,

she'll have a really nice game
if she can stay...

Dad!

Dad!

- Oh, Dad, it was awful.
- There are things. They're huge!

They're gigantic.
They're like rats! Rats!

- No, no, no, badgers.
- What happened?

Badgers.
No, Tasmanian devils.

- Slow down!
- Dozens of 'em.

And they attacked me.
They had these white fang teeth.

And then--and they bit me!
They bit me on my leg!

Oh, my God,
I'm bleeding.

Sit over here,
Rosie.

Dad, they're little
animals

just like the ones
in the paper.

They've got lots
of sharp teeth.

They're nasty things...
nasty things with sharp teeth.

They're things
from outer space.

You can ask Mr. Manges
about it.

Dad, they're aliens!

Aliens in the basement?

You have to believe her!
They're big. They're huge.

They're like badger, possums...
they're big cats.

You got to listen to her,
they're awful!

Rosie, calm down,
calm down.

- You just saw a rat.
- Dad, will you look at her leg?

Oh, Rosie.

A rat did this to you?
This is serious.

They're not rats, Dad.

They got
Frank in the basement.

- They got Frank?
- They got Frank!

They got Frank!

Dad! Oh...

Dad, come on.

Aaah!

Dad, come on!

What are those things?!

Go, go, go!

In two tournaments I've seen
her shoot those 300 games.

She can throw
the strikes.

- She makes a strike.
- Eat that.

God damn it.

You see, sport?

All kinds of animals
follow them around.

These people are animals.

Pretty soon
you can't tell them apart.

The people, the pets...
they've all got fleas.

This'll get
their attention.

Their attention for what?

Our little panic...

casserole.

You think they're screaming
and carrying on now?

Just wait till I cut off
their communication

with their social
workers.

Hello?

Hello?

That's funny.

I lost contact
with Grover's Bend.

What did he mean,
"Watch out for yourself"?

Third floor...

second floor...

first floor...

basement.

Who turned out
the lights?!

- Son of a bitch.
- Oh, Dad.

How many stairs are
in this place anyway?

Wait, we just went up
these stairs.

Oh, I'm dizzy.

Come on.

What's your problem, come on.

Oh, I just want to rest.

What the hell are you guys
doing down here?

Marcia! Marcia, come and help!
They're passing out.

There are things,
they're like big rats.

Only they bite and...
I forget.

They're aliens.

Porcupines!

Mrs. Menges!
Mrs. Menges!

Come on, Cliff.

Let me help you.
Lean on me.

Up. Up.

Up, that's it.

- Who are you?
- Marcia.

You know me, Cliff.
Come on.

- Marcia?
- Yeah. Come on.

- Up, up. That's it.
- Yeah, okay.

Thank you.

Porcupines?

Come out, come out,
wherever you are.

Your landlord is here
to evict you.

Jeez, a rat did that?

Looks like I'll have to charge
somebody for a new door.

Give me the keys.
I'm gonna wait in the car.

Forget It.
We're In this together.

I thought you cut off
all the power.

I did cut off
all the power.

Can we just go?

They must have tapped
into the emergency system.

Hello?

It's your landlord.

I have matters to discuss.

...Chicken,
there's the wishbone,

which I'll cut out.

All this makes
perfectly marvelous soup.

You have to get
the leg bones out

from the legs
and the wing side.

And the way
to do that is...

push the bones through.

And then take...
there's the... ball joint

of your roast chicken.

We'll have our work done
in a minute, sport.

Don't call me "sport."

You wanna take that off,
save everything for soup.

You're not a crybaby, too,
are you, sport?

- So clip the wings and go,
- Huh?

"Uh!"

Now...

I hate you.

I wish you were dead!

Sport?

Sport!

Hey, come on.

Let me in.
Let him go.

Hey.Hey!

Hey, come on. He can't help
being an asshole!

What are you doing? Hey!

You're ready to remove
the bones.

Hey, come on.
He just wants to talk to you!

Leave him alone!
Let him go!

Let him go! Come on!

Hey, what's the matter?

They've got him.
They're tearing him apart.

- They're killing him!
- Who?! They've got who?

Wait. Stop, stop.
Step back.

Stay back.

- Come on!
- What's going on?

Never mind.
Come on! Go!

This way. Come on.

Let's go.

No, no, wait!
I can't just leave him there.

That guy you were with,
your dad?

Stepfather.

Listen,

I don't know what the hell
is going on down there,

but I just saw
something there.

There's animals,
some kind of hungry things.

I don't know,
but he's dead, hon.

There's nothing
we can do for him.

- What's your name?
- Josh.

Okay, Josh...

Get back!

Oh, look!

- Come on!
- Do you have any more flares?

Fresh out!

What?

Let us in!

Close the door!

Josh!

Annie.

Come on,
help me move this desk, quick.

- Swing it around that way.
- Josh, what are you doing here?

- I came with her.
- Marcia?

Push it up against the door.
Right up tight.

Great.
That should hold them.

Josh, how did you get here?

There's monsters outside,
aren't there?

Yeah, there are monsters
out there.

- Hey, anybody check the phone?
- It's dead, like the lights.

You know, I still don't know
what the hell is going on here.

Ain't no rats,
you can be sure of that.

What are you
talking about?

Did you ever see one of these
come out of any rat you've seen?

Ain't no rats.

Must be venom...
poison.

They're here!

I saw the door downstairs,
they chewed right through it.

What do you say we barricade
the kitchen door?

What kitchen door?

Mr. Menges, you don't have
a gun up here

or anything like that?

I got a great
Civil War pistol.

I used to have a frame
for It.

I got no powder.

How about a big knife?

How about
a meat cleaver, dear?

You find anything there, dear?

No.

Wait.

What's that?

Oh. As I recall,
that's a little storage area.

Mr. Menges and I haven't
crawled up there in years.

Josh, come here!

Do you have a footstool
or something?

In the pantry.

Hey, you guys,
check this out.

Mrs. Menges, does this
connect with the roof?

I really don't know
where that goes, dear.

You get up there
and you crawl...

crawl that direction,

and you'll hit
the elevator shaft.

- You don't know that.
- I'll get the others.

Sure I do. I've stored
stuff up there.

Do you think you guys
can climb a ladder?

No ladder.

Go up a ladder
tomorrow.

No.

No tomorrow.

I can't deal
with this anymore, Dad!

Move your ass, now!

Now.

Come on, Clifford.

Hey, hey, we've been climbing
three flights of stairs

ever since that elevator
broke down.

Come on.
You can do it.

It's gotten too quiet
out there.

I don't like it.

They'll just get in
some other way.

We got to get out
of here!

Rosalie, come on.
We got to go. You're next.

I'll watch the door.

- Oh, no.
- Come on. Up, Roselle.

- Right.
- All right.

- Come on, you can do it.
- Come on, I'll help you.

You know...

if we can make it
to the roof,

I can get to
the junction box outside,

tie into the phone lines,
call for help.

- You can do that?
- Hey, I can do anything...

I work for
the phone company.

- Push.
- Ow, ow. Ow.

- Up, Rosalie.
- Push.

Come on. Go.

- Push, fair Rosie, come on!
- Help.

Push!
Push, Josh.

We've come this far.
Come on, help her.

Look, clear, the quilt that
Aunt Carolyn gave us, remember?

Yeah, I remember.
Come on, let's go.

Everybody be calm, now.
Let's go.

Go!

Go... quick!

Grab that, quick!

- Go!
- They're over here!

Josh, come on.
Keep going.

Which way do I go?

Yo, Josh,
give me the flashlight.

Kids, here!
Right through there.

Look, you stay with them and try
and keep everybody together.

I'm gonna check out
this direction.

Marcia! Be careful.

Come on, Annie.

Annie.

It won't open.

Please!

It won't open.

We're trapped.

Where's Marcia?

Oh, damn it.

I'm lost.

Josh...

what are you
doing here?

I came here
with my stepdad.

We came here
to evict you.

I didn't want
to come.

Pretty awful, huh?

Yeah.

I just can't believe
he's dead.

Josh...

my mom died.

Not like your dad,

but she died.

But I bet you didn't wish
for your mom to die.

I just wish we could
go back to this morning.

I just wish we could figure out
how to use this thing.

Look...

if nobody can think
of anything better,

one of us has got to make it
to the street and run for help.

The only way I know
to get around them things

is this elevator shaft.

Hey.

I got a better idea.

How do you get
to the box?

Redundant cable.

Keeps the lines
from blowing down.

It ought to hold my weight
long enough for me to...

get connected.

I'm down to 119.

Marcia, you're going
to die out there.

Any calls you want me
to make for you?

Come on.
Belay me.

Adios.

Uh-oh.

Okay.

Oh, God.

Josh!

Josh, we're on fire!

One thing at a time.

Marcia, one thing
at a time.

- Oh, my God. Marcia!
- Marcia!

Ohh!

She's swinging.
She's swinging!

Annie,
it's okay, she's--

Oh!

Oh!

Thank you.
Thank you.

Oh!

Phone. Phone!

Phone, phone.

Phone, phone.

Let's go.

Yes. Go. Yes!

Oh, no.

Damn. Damn.

Yeah, yeah.

Go, go!

Yes, yes, yes!
Yes!

No! No, no.

Yes, yes.

I can do this.

Annie.

I'm going for help.

It's okay. I'm gonna
take care of everything.

Annie.

Annie!
Don't go down there.

That's too dangerous.
You come on back here.

Let somebody else
do that.

Second floor.

Hand, foot.

Hand, foot.

Hand, foot.

Nothing to it.

Oh!

All right, get back...
get back into the elevator.

I got you, you hear?

Oh, gee.

It's jammed.

It's okay.
Sometimes it does this.

What?!

You came here
just in time.

Where's your family?
Take me to them.

Well, the elevator's stuck.
We have to climb.

How did you get here?

A gentlemen called me.

A real nice fella.

All right.

- What's going on?
- I don't know.

Hold on!
Floor, please?!

The roof!

Somebody help us
out of here.

I'm stuck.

Hey, it's you.

Yeah, what's left of me.

The building
is burning downstairs.

We've got
to get on the roof.

Oh.

Don't look. Don't...

be casual but,

who is that hunk that
just came in with your daughter?

Charlie.

- Hi.
- How you doing, partner?

I guess you were right
about those things.

See if you can pry
that bullet out of there.

My fingers are too big.

What about Marcia?

Yes. Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yeah! Yes!

Please deposit 25¢
for the first three minutes.

Damn!

I hate operators.

Quiet.

Everybody quiet.

If you're quiet,
you can hear them moving.

- Annie, my gun.
- I'm trying!

It won't come out.

All right,
keep your eyes on them.

Look 'em in the eye.

They'll telegraph
their every move.

I hate you!

Josh!

You leave
my husband alone!

Annie.

Annie?

Charlie!

Open wide.

We got 'em!

Come on, let's go!

Mobile Ops 7707.

Emergency.

Oh, God, no!

Come on, Johnny.

Stay here.

Fire! Help us!

Can anyone hear me?!

Please, help us!

Can't you see us?!

We're on fire!

Come over here.
Somebody help!

It's really burning.
Up there, can you hear us?!

- There's a fire here!
- Is anybody up there?!

- What are we going to do?
- Hang on. Hang on.

- We'll be all right.
- Please, help us.

You were wonderful.

You were wonderful.

- Thank you very much.
- You saved us all.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

Please, fire!
Come on!

Fire!

Somebody help us!
We're on fire!

Are you okay?

Can you stand?

No, I can't.

Johnny, get away
from the edge!

But Marcia's down there.

I don't care.
Get over here now!

Listen to me.
Get over here!

Look, Annie, look!

Charlie!

- I got you.
- Help!

Don't look down, Johnny.

Annie, don't let go!

Annie, I'm slipping.

Hold on, Johnny.

Please,
somebody help me!

I got you.

I got you.
I got you.

I love you.

Help!

- Charlie?
- Help!

Get help!

Charlie.

Throw me a rope.
Get a rope!

Dad, we got to do
something.

Oh, no. Oh, no!

Charlie, look out.

Hey... I hope you'll
let me down easier than that.

Outer space all right.

No doubt about it.
We can prove it.

- We could've proved it except...
- It was all burnt up in there.

Documented proof.
All my papers.

Actual physical evidence...
gone.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Oh. I'll be
over there, okay?

- How are you?
- I'm fine.

So... how 'bout
getting together sometime,

and doing
something normal?

- Normal like a movie?
- Yeah.

Charlie!

Don't go.

Uh...

Listen, partner,

how's that
crystal doing?

Yeah.

See?

There's no more
problem.

- You don't need me anymore.
- Johnny.

Come here a minute.

Bye, Charlie.

Bye, John.

Are you leaving
today, Daddy?

I think I finally got
the message

you guys want me
to stay close to home.

My uniform's
all burnt up,

so I think the railroad
can get along without me.

Dad, can we survive?

Well, we've just been
talking about that.

I think I'll check out
those jobs

down at
the phone company.

And between the Menges
and us,

we'll work something out.

- Excuse me.
- Yeah.

- I'm Josh's mother.
- How do you do?

Josh has told me about
all you've done for him.

And my husband...

my late husband, he owes you
people quite a bit of money.

- He does?
- It's called a relocation foo.

And I think with that,
you'd be able to stay in a hotel

until we get
the place rebuilt.

That Is,
If you would be Interested.

We're interested.

And thank you.

Um...

Why don't we introduce
ourselves?

Johnny, where's your friend
from Grover's Bend?

Charlie?

He left.

Just like one
of those westerns.

No. No.

All right, you gumballs.

What is that?

Bounty hunter Charles McFadden,
Earth sector...

you are in violation.

Violation?

Wait a second.
I'm just killing Critters here.

That is...

there was a confirmed
infestation...

of Crites.

Charlie.

Is that you in there?

Charlie, my friend.

Wow.

Wow. It's great
to see you.

And you as well.

You're looking good.

We just received
your bio alert.

Yeah, yeah.
What was that all about?

Specifically,
you are prohibited

from terminating
any transgalactic lifeform

if it means total extinction
of the species.

Oh, yeah.
But they're dangerous.

You taught me
how dangerous they are.

Aggression factor
is irrelevant.

Those two eggs
are the last two eggs.

The intergalactic council
has dispatched

a specimen collection pod.

You are instructed
to place the eggs

into the receptacle
in the pod.

The council is sending
a pod here?

Come on, Ug...

Good luck, Charlie,
my friend.

Yeah, but Ug...

Ug! Wait a second.
What am I supposed to...

Ug!

Ug!