Crimi Clowns 2.0: Uitschot (2016) - full transcript
The Tersago family isn't your average family business: clowns by day, thieves by night. They get arrested following a robbery homicide in a villa in Brasschaat, but let off for lack of evidence, except for son Wesley. Wesley's sister Amber decides to finish Wesley's wacky reality movie herself. Father Ronny wants to get out of organized crime and launder the stolen money with the production of a musical. Ronny and his companion Lou get approached by two police inspectors entirely convinced of their involvement with the robbery homicide. The stolen money is rumored to belong to a powerful Russian drug lord. The Tersago's now realize their lives are in danger. An armed man slips into the theatre during the premiere of the musical while son Wesley plans an escape from prison.
This film was composed from found
footage filmed by Wesley Tersago
and supplemented with police tapes,
news and surveillance footage.
Recently the Tersago family was
arrested on charges of serious crime.
To children nationwide they are
known as Clown Norry & Co.
- Coenen and Willems, judicial police.
- Kiss my ass.
Mrs. Tersago?
Would you be so kind
to accompany us, please?
Yup!
Two to the left,
two to the right, two remain here!
Whoa, kid!
Can I at least get dressed, please?
Don't you think
this is a little too much?
Are you just going to stand there,
or what? Well, on with it I guess.
Is everyone here?
You guys smell that?
Smell of smoke detected
on ground floor, over.
Roger, we'll check.
We are now leaving the residence
with the suspect, over.
Smoke in the kitchen.
I repeat, smoke in the kitchen.
Oh right,
I left something in the oven.
Suspect claims to have left something
in the oven, over.
Those walkie talkies sure are fun.
My kids loved them as well.
You know what my Wesley used
to call them? A wonky tonky.
And my Amber called it
a wockely tockely.
A wockely tockely!
SCUM
We'll make it easy on you.
You are suspected of committing assault
on Gerard Peeters, known to you as Jay.
And of murder or manslaughter
on your girlfriend, Flower Da silva.
On Walter Lambrecht,
CEO of Confidis International.
And on André Deseure,
police officer and lover of your mother.
Might there be a few
we don't know about?
Are we playing
the silent game again?
André The Police wasn't happy
at home anymore.
His wife knew my wife was sleeping
with him. So his home became his hell...
He just ran away from home,
and in a couple of weeks he'll be back.
With a nice tan.
Did you know...
that these are the best
kind of sandwiches in the world?
White bread with Herve cheese,
dunked in coffee.
- I could eat a whole bread of those.
- Delighted to hear it.
It's just...
too bad about the plastic cup.
Could you also tell us
when you saw André Deseure last?
If I get a stone mug.
A couple of weeks ago
with Rachel.
I have no problems with that guy.
What can you tell us
about Louis De Man?
- Lou.
- Lou! Good kid.
Could you repeat the question, officer?
Ronny Tersago and his son threw Gerard
Peeters from a bridge onto the highway.
Right, they say that,
but I don't buy that shit.
Nevertheless, that came
from a very reliable source.
Who?
You.
Me, a reliable source?
It says here
that you're from Antwerp.
I was born in Merksem
and raised in Berchem.
- Then why do you speak Dutch?
- Do I speak Dutch?
- I'm not speaking Dutch.
- You were a minute before.
You read that in my file.
That I suffered a personality change
after I tried to commit suicide.
But I'm completely cured
of that, buddy!
- Zneba?
- Zneba.
Durga Zneba.
Goddamnit, you psycho!
You must be confusing me
with someone else.
- Did she say that?
- She doesn't remember anything.
See?
Why did you place your laptop
and cell phone in the oven, Mrs. Rubbens?
Because I didn't have time
to erase the hard drive, Mr. Coenen.
Are you going
to keep asking stupid questions?
What was on there
we weren't supposed to know about?
If I say that, it would've had no point
in destroying it, would it?
Nice going.
I hope for your sake you tone it down
in front of the judge, Mrs. Rubbens.
Mr. Coenen, Miss Willems.
Read my lips...
Go eat a bucket of shit.
- Madame Tersago.
- Yes?
Your son and grandson are suspected
of assault, blackmailing,
burglary, armed robberies...
That can't be...
Goddamn it!
Are you related to Madame?
I'm her granddaughter.
Do you have a problem
with me patting you down?
Not at all.
- Right, you get fifteen minutes.
- Thanks.
Grandma.
- Grandma.
- Who is it?
It's me, grandma. Amber.
Amber! Oh, my sweetie.
- Are you the new camera operator?
- Right, a change of shift.
Are you allowed to drink
after your heart attack?
My heart is fine. My blood pressure is
just way too high. Very dangerous.
- Why's that?
- Effortil.
Isn't that medication
for low blood pressure?
But if you take enough of it,
you'll get a very high blood pressure.
- How much did you take?
- A whole box.
It was like I was on XTC.
Yes?
Madame is no longer under surveillance,
if she's better she can leave.
Okay, thanks. And...
What are you doing tonight?
Goodbye, everybody.
- Madame Tersago, what are you doing?
- I'm going home.
- Are you allowed?
- Sure, I'm allowed.
- Did the doctor say so?
- I say so.
- You can't!
- Sure I can.
- They don't seem to get that...
- Look...
That's Durga,
the boss of club Heaven.
I used to dance for her,
she didn't even recognize me.
Lou sure did a number on her.
- What's that, Amber?
- My new vroomvroom.
- And where did you get it from?
- An old lady who only drove it on Sunday.
- You have a ticket.
- What the hell are they doing?
If a disability card
doesn't even help here...
Mom and dad will be released
on Friday.
And Lou as well.
That's fantastic.
And Wesley?
Dad called.
It doesn't look too good, Amber.
- They say he killed that black girl.
- Flower?
They dug up her body in the forest.
She was wrapped in plastic,
and they found DNA belonging to Wesley.
Duh, he was her boyfriend.
And his fingerprints,
inside of the plastic.
Then I'll finish his film myself.
Hello, guys and gals.
Hello, my little kittens.
Are you up for a good show?
I know I am!
Action, action, action!
Yummy!
- Your brother's a special boy, huh, Amber?
- Wesley is a genius, grandma.
Yes, fantastic...
But it kind of frightens me.
Yeah, me too...
That I won't get to his level.
I am Teacher Amber.
Teacher Amber.
And I'll be replacing Uncle Wesley.
Who is legitimately absent.
Is he sick, Teacher?
No...
Is he sick, Teacher?
No...
Uncle Wesley is in prison again.
Silly, silly Uncle!
Shit!
No, this can't be...
A stroke.
I think. 75.
On the parking lot of the municipal park.
The park, yes.
- Were you filming us Amber?
- Yes.
You're not working
for the police, are you?
- Terrible, right, Jarek?
- It will be fine.
- He needs to calm down and smoke less.
- Jos... Right...
- I'm actually talking about Wesley.
- Bad news for Wesley.
I don't know how mom's
going to react.
Hey, sweetie.
Your hair is pretty like that!
- Jarek. Is Jos inside as well?
- No, I'm here for you guys.
That's sweet.
- Hello, Madame.
- Your hair looks good.
- It's so short!
- Buddy.
- Is Jos inside as well?
- No. Jos is not well.
- Not well?
- I'm here for you guys.
- What's wrong with him?
- Brain attack.
- It's not a stroke, is it?
- A stroke, yes.
Geez...
Well, I think we're all good to go.
- Come on, Lou.
- What?
- What about Wesley?
- What? Aren't they keeping him inside?
- Lou...
- Oh, you didn't know yet?
Wesley, my poor little guy...
Everyone does whatever they want,
and he's always the scapegoat.
It's been like that
since he went to pre-school.
The curtains caught fire,
the school almost burned down...
Everyone could have done it.
But no, he got the blame!
- But he did do it, mom.
- Yeah, yeah...
But they couldn't have know
that, Amber.
It's a brain infarct
just like Bernard had, Ma.
Do they know
what the damage will be?
It's possible
that he'll be half paralyzed.
Or that he can't talk anymore.
I hope he fucking dies. But that
he'll have a long time of suffering.
That he pisses and shits his pants.
- I'm throwing a party next week.
- You can talk?
I'm expecting you next week Tuesday.
At 6 p.m.
Dress formally, please.
- Jarek will pick you up at quarter to 6.
- What are we celebrating?
You'll see.
Just be ready in time.
Can you walk already?
- That's what wheelchairs are for.
- Right.
Okay...
- I'm glad you can speak again.
- Yeah. You look like you are.
Can you move your arms?
He's lost his marbles.
That's fantastic.
Did you write all of this in jail?
- In a week.
- Really?
It's not really Shakespeare, Lou.
- What's funny?
- Give me that magic wand...
Alakazam, there go your pants.
- Good, right?
- Do you have any music yet?
Who wants to go on a witch hunt with us,
we love the dark, the mist and the dusk
Everyone's afraid of us,
scared, so scared
That's how we want to keep it
and we're keeping it there
You ended up in Darker Land,
the land where the light is banned
Where Crakula reigns
with his right-hand man
Clown Grimmy the Reaper,
Grimmy Reaper
Ronny, that's genius, really, man.
- Thanks, Lou.
- It reminds me of whats-it-called...
- The Nightmare Before Christmas.
- Right. Why is that?
- Because I stole it from that.
- Oh, right! Congrats.
- You still got it!
- Alright...
- When do we get started?
- Next week.
- Really?
- We're back in business, man.
- Can you call Mike?
- I lost his number, you know.
Lou, don't be childish. Amber?
- I'm game.
- Lou?
Who am I playing?
Here's the Beaster Hunny!
- Girls?
- Beaster Hunny!
Where is the Easter Bunny?!
Mike, it's Beaster Hunny.
- What did I say?
- Easter Bunny.
- Isn't that correct?
- No, Mike, we say Beaster Hunny.
What's a Beaster Hunny?
Okay...
- Look! An Elephant!
- No, Mike. You point at the sky.
I look at the sky
and step on a banana peal.
Sorry, Ronny...
- I don't think this will work.
- Mike, I've told you this...
Don't think.
That works better for you.
- I can't perform like this.
- What's so difficult about it?!
Look, an elephant!
- Nope.
- Goddamn it!
- Alright, who's going to get him?
- Not me!
I'll go. I have a soothing
effect on Ronny.
- Is Rachel coming to rehearsal today?
- No.
- And?
- They were still talking.
Do you guys actually
like the elephant joke?
Goddamnit!
What is this bullshit?!
You have to shut the hell up!
I'm going to get him.
Ronny!
What's the deal, man?
- Easy.
- Lou...
- You feeling a bit better?
- A little.
- The new one's got nice tits.
- The things you pay attention to...
Yeah, pretty good...
But I'm missing something.
Amber, perfect, sweetie...
Lara, Corine, it's really good, but...
I think you can do better.
Nah... Way too naked.
Here's the best man of the family!
Are you allowed to call
before your trial?
Remember Willy
from Café River View?
Willy The Silent,
he used to work for Jos.
Willy is now a warder.
And this is Willy's cell phone.
- And this is Willy.
- Willy, goddamn!
- You okay, Wes?
- No.
I can't keep this up.
- They know everything.
- Did you admit to anything yet?
- I didn't open my mouth yet.
- Keep quiet, son. What did Joris say?
He's not sure what to do.
Joris is a fucking fine lawyer, kid.
A real dirtbag.
Could you give Joris
ten thousand euro's?
The hashish and the porn are expensive
here. And then I can call you again.
- Okay.
- Thanks.
- Can you say hi to mom and Amber for me?
- Hi, Wes.
- Hey, your hair looks good.
- So does yours.
- Don't give up hope, Wes.
- Nah...
- Wesley really can't break, Joris.
- Right.
If he does and he starts talking,
he'll take us all down with him.
- Then the shit will hit the fan.
- Ronny...
Right, did you pay
my first commission yet?
I'll get that in order.
- And Wesley needs some allowance.
- Oh, yeah?
- Twenty thousand.
- I thought ten?
- Did you talk to him already?
- Yes.
I'll transfer it along
with your payment, bye, Joris.
Bye, Ro...
Filthy thief.
- Jarek for the family.
- Yes, yes, my little drool buckets.
There stood Jarek.
With his minivan.
To safely bring our little clowns
to Jos' party.
Because Uncle Jos said so.
Will there be dancing?
Will there be drugs and booze?
Will the prince choose for Teacher?
Definitely!
Oh, how pretty Teacher was.
- Good evening.
- Hey, there!
- No, I'm not getting into that.
- Why not?
This is a retard van.
Stop joking and get in, Ronny!
Hey, sweetie.
Is this okay, Jarek?
You look pretty!
- Did you have to say it like that?
- What, retard van?
Jarek has a cousin
with Down syndrome.
I think he has a bit of it himself.
Oh, please!
What's wrong, dad?
- I've got a bad feeling about this.
- Bad feeling?
- Why?
- I don't trust Jos.
What are you thinking?
Why isn't my mother with us?
20 years ago Jos did something similar
with some street gang.
5 men in a minivan,
riddled with 200 bullets.
It's a child lock.
What's the problem?
The brake, dad!
Yeah, Ma?
No, we're on our way.
A couple of minutes. Okay.
No, no problem.
See you soon.
I'll be god damned...
It was a surprise from both Jos
and Grandma. And just look at Jarek.
Amber, you're not doing it right.
You first have to push his chest 30 times.
- We learned differently at school.
- Then you didn't pay attention!
- I did, dude!
- Dude, dude...
- Dude?! To your Mother?!
- Get the hell on with it!
Well, do it yourself then!
Faster, Ronny.
Right, that's it.
Good, you're doing good.
Yeah, that's it!
And now mouth to mouth.
His nose...
You have to pinch his nose.
- Mom.
- Rachel.
- His nose.
- Pinch it.
- What?!
- His n...
Yes!
Are you okay, buddy?
What happened?
- Yeah, you became unwell.
- I don't know what happened.
- Don't tell Jos, okay?
- No, but...
- I'd see a cardiologist if I were you.
- Will do.
Just go straight here.
But don't tell him, okay?
- No, you can count it.
- And the other guys too.
- Guys?
- Yeah?
- Don't tell Jos, okay?
- Nope.
Mon, goddamn!
They still didn't shoot you yet?
- Boss, glad you're here.
- You alright, buddy?
Absolutely.
I usually spend my day off
with hookers though.
Did you open up
your candy shop just for us?
Jos is still the big man
of the Slaughter House District.
Jos.
- Take a seat.
- Ma.
Hey, sonny.
Jos...
- Hey, Grandma.
- Hello, dear.
- Hey, Ma.
- Rachel...
- Hello, Jos.
- Everything good, kiddo?
- You sit there, next to your man.
- Hi, Jos...
- A new photographer?
- If that's okay, Jos.
It's a party today, right?
But no pictures on Facebook!
- Or that other thing, with the little bird.
- Twitter? No, Jos.
You watch yourself!
Does everyone have a full glass?
To freedom...
And to love.
Okay, toots.
Dearest family,
and friends of the family.
Today is a very special day.
And not just because
they had to let us go...
but because we've shown
that they cannot break us.
And because Jos and me
have something important to say.
But I'm sitting down
for that one.
Yes...
I was once a young, silly goose.
And Grandpa Tersago had been
in prison for more than a year.
For something he never did.
But that's okay, he did enough
other things for him to be there.
By now we all know what happens when
a young girl is suddenly left on her own.
The whole neighborhood calls
it a disgrace...
And from one day to the next,
you don't see your friends anymore...
apart from some perverts,
wanting to take a shot.
But who was there...
for a year and a half,
to stick by me through thick and thin?
Jos.
To comfort me?
- Jos.
- To protect me?
- Jos.
- Yes.
I am talking about 1958.
The year of the Universal Exposition.
Yes, Ronny...
At the end of 58,
Grandpa Tersago had been locked up
for a year and a half.
And in January 59, you were born.
For the passed 56 years,
you think you know who you are...
and from one moment to the next,
your whole life appears a lie.
Your mother deceived you
your whole life.
And your father never was
your father.
It's like your whole life
suddenly exists...
from someone else's memory.
There is no present.
You don't exist anymore.
You see yourself sit there,
like behind glass, but...
It's not you.
Ronny...
I saw you were shocked and...
I think you still will be freaked out
for a few days, but...
You're my only son.
As far as I know anyway.
And, Ronny, if anyone's ready
to follow in my footsteps
after 50 years...
It's going to be you.
If anyone's not ready to follow in
that prick's footsteps, it's gonna be me.
I'll be ready for it when he's gone.
But that doesn't mean I'll wait
for that to happen.
- Here it is...
- Thank you very much.
Jarek is like the Caruso of Antwerp,
I swear.
Oh, come on!
- Jarek! Jarek!
- Come on, kid!
Rachel?
Blood...
- Where did you get hit?
- My butt.
- Jay, you alright?
- This is just a scratch...
- But my foot is seriously stinging!
- Oh, man. Those assholes...
He was just able to walk again.
- This doesn't look good, Jos.
- Goddamn it!
Such a good kid...
Wally, it's me. Right now.
That's Wally, the doctor.
- Does he still do this kind of thing?
- Only for friends.
Yes, Wally. It's Ronny.
Get to Restaurant Cattle Trade,
bring your gear and take enough with you.
You've never seen anything
like this, man.
No, no, no!
Don't roll them,
if they have so many holes in 'em.
Then they'll drain even quicker.
Jeffrey!
Don't push on it either, boy.
Come on,
pick him up by his shoulders.
Then this girl can slide
the plastic underneath it.
Child, stand still if you have to puke.
It's just more cleaning work,
if you start running around.
What's with all the puking here?
Try focusing a little, guys!
You don't have to see it as a dead person.
But just as a big piece of meat.
- Wally, take a look at Jarek first.
- I'll do my very best, Jos.
Hello, everyone.
- Hey, Mikey, goddamn. It's been a while.
- Doctor.
- Lou.
- Wally.
Yeah, he needs blood, urgently.
Does anyone know his blood type?
- A positive.
- Does anyone have A positive?
- I do.
- Isn't there anyone else?
That won't ever be enough.
What do you think Wally?
Will it be enough?
Why not?
Okay.
- Do you feel anything, madame?
- No, go ahead doctor.
The bullet is not in
that deep, miss.
That's a ricochet.
I got a booboo!
Thank you, doctor.
Are you from around here?
Born in the Slaughter House District,
but with a practice in Schoten.
Do you do house calls
outside your borough?
Only if it's very urgent.
Thank you.
- You can bring Jarek to the recovery.
- Will he make it?
- I can't know that, Jos.
- What odds are you giving him?
50-50?
You can't be serious.
- He's not a doctor at all.
- How so?
- Walter Baelus, veterinary medicine?
- A veterinary is also a doctor.
He's a good vet, you know. I had
a student job there twenty years ago.
Hey, he saw my private parts, Ronny!
Come on, Rachel.
That's nothing for those guys.
How do you mean?
They're used to having
their hand up a cow.
- Thank you.
- Well, toots...
I thought tonight
would've ended differently.
Just be glad
we're all still walking around.
- Not really, right?
- Jarek will be fine.
Do you still know your way
across from here?
The slaughterhouse?
Ronny, they've got new machines now.
Computer controlled like at the car shop.
Amber knows everything about
computers, right, sweetie?
Everything.
- You can't just get in there though.
- Mike can get in anywhere, right, Mike?
Sure...
if the ledges aren't too high.
Self-knowledge is
the beginning of all wisdom.
Can somebody get my tools
from the car?
Just hang 'em up here.
Everything okay?
Absolutely.
This is some place, huh?
Complete corpses.
Not exsanguinated.
With bones, skin and intestines.
Maximum weight, 90 kilogram.
That's it, right?
- Definitely.
- Absolutely. Okay...
- Definitely.
- Absolutely. Okay...
- 5... 4... 3... 2...
- Wait.
- Yeah?
- And then what happens?
I press start
and then it starts to grind.
- To grind?
- It's a meat grinder.
Right.
- Yeah. Okay.
- Okay, here we go.
5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
Here we go.
Take your seats and keep your arms
and legs inside at all times!
There's not much happening,
is there?
Yeah!
- That was it?
- I guess.
- It wasn't actually that bad.
- I imagined something way more scary.
Lou, can you empty
that bucket into the air cannon?
I'm not so good at that, Ronny.
- Mike?
- No problem.
- Next!
- I'm starting to get bored.
- This wasn't so boring, right, Lou?
- Man, man, what an evening.
Okay?
- Okay
- Let's go.
You know what I feel like
doing right now?
Oh my god.
Oh my fucking god!
Come on, Mike!
- Love is a beautiful thing, isn't it?
- Pretty special though, right?
Did you know they could have
perfectly normal kids?
You think so?
That's the goddamned twentieth time
they're rerunning this...
- Or were you watching?
- Nah...
- Mom.
- Yeah...
You alright?
What was all that, yesterday?
- How's your shoulder?
- Wally did a good job.
I replayed it in my head
at least 100 times last night.
And when I finally fell asleep,
I kept dreaming about it.
- The shoot-out or the meat grinder?
- Both.
You seem hungry.
Breakfast is the most important
meal of the day, Ma.
Right, you were always
a good eater.
Coenen and Willems,
judicial police, Part 2.
Judicial police? Part 2? Nooo!
Our thugs were so scared.
Scared?
Our thugs, scared?
I didn't think so!
All cops are pussies
All cops are pussies
- Thank you.
- Thanks, madame.
How's your heart doing?
Did your daughter get
into the movie business as well?
Yeah...
My son is temporarily unavailable.
- Temporarily?
- I think...
I think you better watch
what you say right now.
- Your son...
- You even better change the subject.
- Wow, good stuff.
- So, what's up?
Ronny!
What do you think?
- Miss, Mister...
- Mr. De Man.
Yeah, looks good.
What are you wearing on your feet?
Rabbit feet, I think...
I'm still working on it...
- Can you show me?
- Wait...
OK, can we please stay on topic?
This is our business, honey.
Blue rabbits.
Right, Mr. Tersago...
Colleagues of ours have reopened
the case Dejong.
- Papa Lou!
- Hello, hello, everyone!
- Arrogant pricks with bratty kids.
- Here they are. These are the ones.
Absolutely. Those are perfect.
So...
- Dejong?
- How many times were you there?
- Once.
- We believe you've been there twice.
- But the second time wasn't to perform.
- We know that you killed those people.
And we think
that you stole a few million there.
And here's the funniest part...
Do you know Boris Malkin?
The Russian drug lord of Amsterdam.
No kidding.
I thought you meant Boris Malkin,
my wife's hairdresser.
That Dejong guy we think you killed,
was the accountant of Boris Malkin.
And that money we think you took
that night, all belonged to Mr. Malkin.
So if you would happen
to remember anything
about a roasted chicken,
for example...
Or a whack with a cactus...
Or if you have the idea
someone is trying to murder you...
Call us.
And the mastermind
behind an international drug gang.
Boris Malkin ordered
the liquidation of multiple people
involved in the criminal world.
His trademark is that he usually performs
the executions on his victims himself.
He made 6 casualties himself
in a bloody shoot-out
in Antwerp last year.
Despite the evidence, Malkin was
released due to procedural error.
Come on!
- Here.
- Thanks.
I breathed in a cookie crumb!
Take the call, it's Wesley!
- Hi, Wes!
- Amber, listen. I have 20 seconds.
There's a gaming console in my room.
New, still in the wrapping.
- An Xbox One?
- Right.
I want you to hack the OS,
and overcome the limitations.
Stick all the programs on there
that are on my iMac...
And hide a charged iPhone 6 in it.
My lawyer will come get the box.
- Joris.
- Yes.
Goddamnit.
I almost thought I was a goner.
How was Wesley doing?
He asked for a gaming console
and a video game.
That's it?
- Yeah, he's bored.
- I can imagine.
- How was he doing?
- Good.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
They get pampered in prison,
don't they?
I convinced Wesley
to co-operate with the case.
To get reduction of sentence
and a deal with the inspectors.
Joris, don't make Wesley talk.
- He can talk without speaking, he said.
- Okay.
Suddenly he brought up this gaming
console. I was seriously shocked.
The deal with the inspectors
was almost called off.
- You managed to stop that from happening.
- Yeah.
- Good boy.
- I didn't know he was into those games.
Yeah, it's an addiction.
Ever since he was eight.
Day and night he'd be in his room,
mashing those buttons.
With 6 liters of soda,
and 10 family packs of chips.
He only came out to take a shit.
- Is there anything else I should know?
- Yeah...
Jos has some health problems.
He'll have to take it easy.
- He's not retiring, is he?
- He already did.
- Then there will be a successor?
- There already is.
Who?
Me.
Congratulations.
Make sure Jos doesn't see
that camera, sweetie.
He won't.
Good afternoon.
Wally.
Ronny.
Amber, you alright?
How's the shoulder? Any pain?
- No, I'm good.
- That's good.
It's next door, I'll be right there.
Ronny.
Hey.
- Has he woken up yet?
- No.
Who were those three dirt bags
in that restaurant?
We don't know.
Where did that million and a half
come from, that you paid me back with?
A couple of Dutch people.
Business people.
They get rich
from breeding flowers, I bet?
How much did you steal
there in total?
Never mind.
Your empire is at an end!
Your business finished!
- Here you go, Beaster Hunny... Correct?
- Yes.
Take this! Katchaah!
Okay.
Lou, enough. Lou...
Stop the music!
He's having a seizure again.
Lou's epileptic seizures are becoming
a problem.
I think I'll have to give him
an easier role.
- He's going to be disappointed.
- Yeah, well...
Good work, sweetie.
It would be great
if we could perform during Easter.
Isn't it a bit early
for a Halloween show?
Which part didn't you get, Bruno?
It's an Easter show.
The creeps of Clown Dracula, the boss
of Hallowinia, kidnap the Beaster Hunny.
- The what?
- The Beaster Hunny.
They make all the kids cry.
But at the end they work together...
- And all the kids get their eggs.
- Right...
Doesn't that story sound like
The Night Before Christmas?
- Didn't you like it?
- I did, it was a great movie.
Well, then?
Yeah...
But Philippe Geubels booked
every night of the Easter Holidays.
- So...
- Bruno, we only need the afternoons.
Ten days two shows of 45 minutes.
One at 2 p.m. and one at 4 p.m.
I'll ask him, Ronny...
But I'm afraid he won't like
setting up his stage every time...
- You're afraid...?
- I don't really like it, Ronny.
Because you have
to show up an hour earlier?
- Two hours and half.
- We want to compensate you for it.
If you want you can do me.
If I want to bang a goat,
I'll visit a petting zoo.
Queer.
- What's it going to cost me?
- It's not about that.
- I have other things to do, you know.
- Like what?
That's none of your business.
In real life he's not that fun.
That's none of your business.
He's earning way too much,
if you ask me.
Is he still there?
I don't see him...
There he is!
- You crazy nut!
- Hey! Geubels!
You have my card.
If you change your mind, call me!
You're fricking insane!
I think he won't break.
He's stubborn as hell.
Let's just see about that.
What?
- Hi, Phillipe.
- Ronny?
- You got a minute?
- No, not really.
- Did you know that dog looks like you?
- Yeah, that's the point.
- Geuring!
- What kind of dog is it?
- A Chihuahua.
- Really? Are you sure?
I got the papers and everything.
With a pedigree, be careful!
I think they hustled you, man.
I think...
It's a bat.
Have you tried making him fly?
Huh? Can you fly?
He pushes a cart full of eggs,
each egg as big as a human head
- Does he have sharp claws then?
- I don't know.
- It is a blue rabbit
- It is a blue rabbit?!
- It is a blue rabbit
- Good, Rachel.
- Didn't we change the color?
- No.
- We decided on blue.
- I sure hope so.
- My girlfriend's been sowing day and night.
- Wasn't blue too much of a Smurf?
Blue. We decided this
during the breakdown meeting.
Like how we decided
I would play the Beaster Hunny?
So?
Now we have an actor as big as a Smurf.
He's got on blue clothing.
The children will get
confused, Ronny.
Lou...
Mike plays the Beaster Hunny,
and that's it!
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Okay, thanks, everyone.
Here.
- Did we get some exposure?
- Some exposure?
7 articles, 2 covers and a coloring game
with free tickets! There you go!
7 articles, 2 covers and a coloring game
with free tickets! There you go!
Okay...
Look!
Stand up comedian Phillipe Geubels
and his dog fell out
of their bedroom window
yesterday.
There are currently
no details about the incident.
Geubels broke both his arms and legs
and will not be performing this season.
The dog of Geubels passed away
during the transfer to the veterinary.
- The fifth lap in the Tour of Lombardy...
- Poor thing...
Rachel, in China they eat dogs.
- Not those tiny ones.
- They do. Just like frog legs.
- They throw away the rest of the dog.
- Chinese people are not wasteful.
Listen to her. She fucked a Chinese guy
once and she thinks she's a sinologist.
- A what?
- What did that dog do to you?
- What's the problem?
- You don't do that.
Listen to him. I remember you trying
to drown that dog at Dejong's place.
- I was dealing with a burn out, man!
- A burn out, is that what you call it?
Don't change the subject!
You're an animal abuser.
You always have been!
Right. But me throwing a guy
out of his window is no problem?
- How can that dog help it that his owner...
- Come on, You don't have to throw...
Lou, Rachel, please!
The most important part is
that we're performing.
You ended up in Darker Land
The land where the light is banned
Welcome in Hallowinia.
The dark land where Clown Crakula reigns,
with his loyal companion...
The Grim Reaper.
And look,
he appears from under his stone.
Clown Crakula himself.
He's bad to the bone.
It is commonly known
how mean I am
Famous for my cruelty
and my cool
I am Crakula the first, and I rule over
the night, tears and whispers are my goal
Can I help you?
Bats and spooky spirits,
zombies, filthy creatures...
The Beaster Hunny is spotted, boss,
he's on his way to Human Land
With thousand eggs in his basket
Catch that blue rabbit in time,
the Easter days will then be mine!
You know who he is?
- Boris Malkin, the Russian...
- Yes, I know! Is most famous criminal!
Oh my god, we killed the devil.
Hey there!
Ho there!
I'm the Beaster Hunny
Racing around this forest,
with my eggs
To spoil all the little
kiddies with
Can anyone tell me where I am?
Hey, guys!
Come on, open up!
It's your mother!
Amber!
You have to promise you won't freak out.
And don't scream.
Okay.
Is that so? Everyone trembles...
- And shakes in fear...
- And shakes in fear!
Because I'm Grimmy The Reap,
Grimmy The Reap Reap
Grimmy the Reap Reap Reap,
yes I am
Grimmy The Reap,
Grimmy The Reap Reap
Grimmy The Reap Reaper
But actually,
I'm not that bad of a guy...
Deep in the ground!
- Did you guys kill both of them?
- No, just one.
Only that one.
- The other one was lying in the hallway.
- But we cleaned that up.
Benny from downstairs...
He was so close to retirement, poor guy!
Over there! An elephant!
I have to get back onstage!
And you guys as well!
Were you frightened or freaked out now,
don't let it get to you
Cause the monsters and the creeps
have to go real soon
Back to Darkerland, yes, Darkerland,
the land where the light is banned
Darkerland, Darkerland,
Darkerland
Darkerland...
Darkerland
- Man!
- Genius show! Really!
Mikey, you crushed it as the Easter Bunny!
I mean Beaster Hunny!
A theater hit from here to Holland!
To Tokyo and back!
Man, listen to that applause!
And those were only the invitees!
- Normally, they all got long faces...
- Normally, their faces are painted on!
- I'm going to get a drink.
- I knew it, Lou! I knew it, goddamnit!
Nice detail, Amber,
those blood spatters.
Rachel, is there a problem?
That's Boris Malkin!
Well, I'll be damned...
That's it?
Well, I'll be damned?!
- Well, I'll be fucking damned...
- What's all this?
- Don't look at me like that, Ma.
- Mike?
No...
The girls.
Amber?
- They couldn't just get pushed around, Ma.
- No, of course not.
Bludgeoned, stabbed...
Shot in the face...
You girls sure did your best.
- He shot himself in the face.
- Yeah, you hear that often.
And then there's...
This guy.
But we didn't do that.
He did that.
Two flight cases.
Okay...
Definitely! I bet!
From the first rehearsal to the last,
right Madame?
- Absolutely!
- Did you... What role did you play?
- Grimmy The Reaper and Ghost Boo.
- Oh my! Two... Wow!
But Mrs. Tersago, I wanted to...
Sorry.
It's fine...
Can I get another glass?
Mrs. Tersago... Your Witch...
Really got into our heads!
And not just with the children,
I think...
Their dads as well!
You understand?
Right, Mr. Boo?
It's true, isn't it?
The champagne got to him.
Pay him no mind.
Beauty is allowed to be seen, honey.
Especially at her age.
Alright...
- Okay.
- Got it? Here we go...
Fuck!
This is bad for my back, man.
- You alright?
- No...
- Do you have any blow?
- No.
I do!
- Is it done already?
- Yup.
That went smooth, right?
This is a fine place.
You know what I feel like
doing right now?
Yes, Wally, what's up? Really?
Okay, we'll jump in the car. See ya!
Let's go, Amber.
- We're going to get Jarek.
- What for?
- He's out of his coma.
- Do we have to right now?
- Aren't you happy?
- I am, but can't it wait 'till tomorrow?
The guy doesn't know where he's at.
He's going nuts. Come on.
Okay...
Mike! Your girl!
Mike.
Call Ronny...
They put something in my...
- You okay, buddy?
- Ronny...
- Amber.
- Jarek.
Shall we go?
Don't you have any clothes?
No shoes either?
No, I'm fine.
Ronny!
His clothes and his medicines!
- Thanks, man. Good night.
- Bye.
Jarek?
Jarek!
Jarek!
Fuck!
I'm beat, Amber.
Here...
No, thanks.
I woke up with a nosebleed last night.
I almost choked.
I have to cut back.
Less dope, less booze...
Less stress, I'm at my limit.
I wish I could turn the clock back
ten years...
A normal life.
A pretty wife...
Nice kids...
And taking the family
to soccer every week.
Why did we stop doing that?
I loved soccer.
Wesley and me looked forward
to that all week.
When I came out of prison
I had the feeling...
That everyone talked behind my back,
even my best friends.
I didn't want to face
people anymore.
Rachel, it's me.
I have a crazy question.
Hello, my dirty Crimi-Wankers!
You probably thought Uncle Wesley
vanished off the face of the earth.
Forget it...
Uncle is busting out of here.
I'm taking you on a wild
journey to sunny Cuba.
You guys want to set sail
with me?!
Will you watch along...
Through my third eye?
Here we go.
Three... Two... One...
And who do we have here?
It's Willy.
My favorite warder.
Hey, Willy! What's up?
Willy...
He's probably dead.
And who else is visiting?
It's Joris!
My counselor.
There you go.
That's how he likes it!
Lou, we're at the soccer stadium.
I have a ticket for you. Call me back.
In the car! Calm down!
Calm down!
Police!
Show me your hands!
Shit.