Creature from the Haunted Sea (2019) - full transcript
A secret agent, XK150 tries infiltrate a criminal gang led by Renzo Capetto.
(slow jazz music)
(gun shots blasting)
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] I had to go to
the Santo Domingo Bar,
and I had to find Agent
XK120, whom I'd never met.
(tense music)
I looked around the room.
Long training and my own instinct told me
that the girl sitting at the table
seemed the most likely prospect.
(dramatic music)
- The king is dead.
Long live the king.
- Is that supposed to
be a political remark?
- I don't know anything about politics.
Do you play?
- I never worked, if I can help it.
- I meant chess.
It's a very interesting game.
- So is this one we're playing.
Would you like a drink?
- I wouldn't mind.
- Waiter,
bring us a bottle of Chateau Marmot, 1907.
- 1911 was a better year.
- 1911 it is.
- We don't have any Chateau Marmot,
but we have a good Chateau Briand, 1922.
- Forget it.
make it a couple of Rum Collins, Kilo 58.
I had to be sure it was you.
XK120?
- Right.
XK150?
- Right.
Who's the waiter?
- One of them.
Thinks I'm on their side.
- She was beautiful.
I could have killed myself for
wearing this stupid disguise.
Now she would never
know me as I really am.
I'm leaving tonight.
We'll keep in touch by radio.
You have the code?
- In point of fact.
- Yes.
- In point of fact.
- Yes.
- In point of fact, I've
got my decoder ring.
- Right.
Pay no attention to me when I leave.
- Right.
Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?
- Right.
(romantic piano music)
(eclectic music)
- [Narrator] The 20th century
occurred in Havana, Cuba.
The Revolutionary victors marched in,
and the national complexion
changed completely.
They had been liberated.
The survivors of the old regime
escaped as best they could,
taking with them only
a few meager effects,
such as the Cuban treasury
and other art objects.
It wasn't always easy to
smuggle a loot out of Cuba,
and so, secret meetings were
being held all over the island.
This story of robbery,
double-cross, and murder
begins with just such a meeting.
(dramatic music)
- Are you Renzo Capetto?
- [Renzo] I am.
Who are you?
- Nevermind who I am.
It's the mission that counts.
- [Renzo] Let's get on with it.
- As an America gambler and gangster,
you're above suspicion.
Of course, you know that our
government has been overthrown.
- You know, I heard that.
- Shut up.
- But not for long.
We'll be back.
And if you think you've
seen executions now, oh boy.
- Bravo!
- Bravissimo!
- Shut up!
- But of course, in order to
finance a great kind of revolution,
it has been necessary for us to
steal the Cuban treasure.
- Hoo-rah!
- Shut up!
- Let us proceed.
You're going to lose your casino,
so you'll be leaving Cuba anyway.
You have a big yacht, you
can leave anytime you wish,
such as immediately.
Therefore, I'm going to
entrust you a solid trust.
Here we have one quarter
of the Cuban treasury.
Your group, General Tostada,
Colonel Cabeza Grande and a squad of men
will proceed to Ciudad Trujillo.
There you wait for us to contact you
and relieve you of the money.
One type of which will be paid to you.
Do you understand?
- I get the whole picture.
- Now, you do the rest.
Senores.
(dramatic music)
General Tostada, Colonel Cabeza Grande.
Senor Renzo Capetto and--
- My name is Happy Jack
Monahan, glad to meet you gents.
- [Spy] And now,
the gold.
(men yelling)
(Jack whistles)
(dramatic music)
- [Renzo] You two had
better get into the car.
- [Colonel Grande] The General
doesn't know any English,
Senor Capetto.
I'll be his translator for you.
Bueno?
- Bueno.
- Bueno.
(speaking foreign language)
- [Renzo] Now, it's time to go.
Adios?
- Adios.
- I'll see you later, huh?
- Or don't.
(dramatic music)
(men yelling in foreign language)
(guns firing)
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] The first move
in the great conspiracy
had been made.
The Cuban Treasury was
now in the gentle hands of
Renzo Capetto,
the most trustworthy man ever
to be deported from Sicily.
They thought they were smart.
But little did they know that I,
Sparks Moran, was an American agent.
Luckily, I had been able to
work my way into the crew
by posing as a notorious gun
machine burglar from Chicago.
My real name is XK150.
- Hey you.
Come on down here and help with this.
- [Woman] How'd it go, boopsie?
- We had a harried little
chase, but we got the stuff.
- Crazy.
- Hey, Colonel Grande, you
can bring your men aboard.
- What happens with all that mouth?
- I don't know.
I thought we'd just
have an officer or two,
but it looks like we're gonna
have a little difficulty.
- You will think of a way to
remove them and grab that loot,
'cause you're my big,
strong, swinging brain.
- You're sweet, baby.
- Hi Sis.
- Hi, babydoll.
Did they scare you?
- Just a little.
- All right, boys, get ready to go.
Pete!
Take the wheel.
Jack,
you and
Clarks, or Sparks,
get ready to cast off.
- Well, well, this is a
beautiful night for sailing.
- [XK150] And so, we left Cuba forever
sailing the most astounding adventure
to be inflicted upon man.
And what a group we were.
The big cheese was Renzo Capetto.
Alias Capo Rosetto.
Alias Ratto Pazetti.
Alias Zeppo Staccato.
Alias Shirley Lamour.
At 15, he served his first
stretch for rolling a drunk
in the lobby of the Waldorf
Astoria on New Year's Eve 1934.
In 1940, he was involved
in an unsuccessful attempt
to nominate Benito Mussolini
for the Republican ticket.
During the war,
he was rejected by the Navy,
the Marines, and the SS.
Now deported, he has retained his contacts
with the syndicate
and is still regarded as
a dangerous character.
Mary-Belle Monahan.
Alias Mary Monahan Belle,
alias Belle Mary Monahan,
alias Monahan Mary-Belle.
They say she was a gun moll
just because Lucky Luciano
gave her a Rolls Royce every Christmas.
And they can't really prove
that she sneaked into the
Hollywood Ball with a tommy gun
and rubbed out the convention
of police chiefs in 1956.
All I know that she got nailed cold
when she was pushing heroin in
a laundry room in Boys Town.
But, I'm willing to give anyone
the benefit of the doubt,
especially when she's as
crazy-looking as Mary-Belle.
This is Happy Jack Monahan,
so called because he developed
a muscle spasm in his cheeks
from watching too may of
Humphrey Bogart pictures.
Happy Jack's record is brief.
His only crimes having been
committed after his sister,
Mary-Belle, talked Renzo
into giving him a job.
Up until that time, Happy
Jack had been a tennis bum
sleeping under the
bleachers at Forest Hills,
and mooching nickels in the BMT subway.
Since taking up with Renzo,
he has become a well-known
dice loader and murderer.
The last member of the deadly
quartet is Pete Peterson Jr,
son of Pete Peterson Sr,
famed vaudeville bird mimic.
Pete Jr. inherited his father's talent
for animal imitations, but unfortunately,
he blew his brain out of wack
while imitating a whooping crane
at the Elks Convention
picnic in Oshkosh in 1942.
Since then,
anyone has been able to
convince Pete of anything.
Renzo found him struggling along
as a pickpocket at Jones Beach
and took him with him in his exile.
Since then, he has been
Renzo's faithful servant,
shining his shoes and
rubbing out his enemies.
In return, Renzo permits him to
imitate any animal that
comes into his head.
(imitating yak)
That, for instance, was the mating call
of the Himalayan yak.
There they are, my shipmates.
I didn't know where they were taking these
unsuspecting Cubans, but
I knew they were taken.
And so, with grim faces,
we set our helm against a perilous future.
(singing in foreign language)
- Okay, now, before I begin,
does anyone anything to say?
Pete?
(imitating cow mooing)
How about you, Jack, what
do you think we should do?
- Give up?
- Oh, now, honey.
Is that anyway for
Mary-Belle's big man to talk?
- Now, look.
We've got to get rid of at
least half of these Cubans
without making the rest
of them suspicious.
There used to be a Cuban fisherman
by the name of Hemingway.
Got hooked on a sea monster
in these waters a couple of years ago,
and he was dragged for miles.
Got a lot of publicity.
We're gonna show these boys
the greatest sea monster
they ever saw in their lives.
Jack, in my trunk,
there's some garden rakes
used for weeding tomatoes.
You get them and sharpen
them like scalpels.
Pete, you mix up a mess of
olive oil and green ink,
and spread some seaweed
from over the sides.
Now, Jack,
what are you gonna do?
- Sharpen up the garden rakes?
- Good boy.
Pete?
How about you?
(imitating dog barking)
- Does he have to do that?
- All right, Jack, beat it.
(singing in foreign language)
We've had a good life
together, haven't we, baby?
- You know it, boops.
Winters in Tijuana,
summers in Cicero.
Remember that wonderful
trip we took to Monte Carlo?
- You mean the time we
heisted all those $100 chips?
Sure.
- [XK150] I'll admit
I couldn't really hear
anything through that door,
but I was sure they were up to no good.
I it was up to me to stop them.
- Now, we're off again to parts unknown.
- It's like a second honeymoon.
- You know something?
We ought to get married.
- Now, don't be a drag, baby.
- How much drag do you
think's in the strongbox?
- There's plenty of Cuban sugar, though.
- What are we gonna do with all of it?
(mellow music)
- I don't know.
I always wanted to open a
home for the aged hoodlums.
- Baby, you got a heart
as big as all outdoors.
(upbeat music)
- A government agent
lives in constant peril.
I devised my undetectable radio set
using simulated hot dogs for knobs
and tubes inside of dill pickles
while watching a number of
sewer workmen during lunch hour.
It comes in mighty handy, believe you me.
One little slip, and I could be headed
for Davy Jones' locker.
Hello, Havana, this is agent XK150.
Over.
I'm making my first official report.
So far,
not too much has happened,
but I'm anticipating.
Renzo Capetto and his gang
are on board as suspected.
I am with them.
I will call you again
soon one of these days.
This is Agent XK150 signing off.
(upbeat music)
- What's happening?
- Just having a bite.
- Gee, that looks good.
Do you mind if I join you?
(upbeat music)
- Come to mama.
Crazy.
(speaking foreign language)
The general says,
"Good morning, you gorgeous
beautiful creature."
- Would you ask the General to
remove himself from my presence?
(speaking foreign language)
The general said you're, um,
you're a
golden angel flower singing.
- Would you tell the General
that I feel that he'd be most at home
barbecuing slowly over a hot spit?
You must be a glutton for punishment.
(whimsical music)
Oh now, what do you want?
- You're too good for this life.
You're young and you're innocent.
You should get out.
Won't do you good.
- Are you unwell?
The getting is great.
- You're a victim of circumstance.
- I try.
I do try.
- You're a crazy mixed-up kid.
- I'm perfectly adjusted
to my life of crime.
Now, what is your story?
- Oh, well, you see, I'm beyond help.
But you're not.
You can find a clean young man to marry.
- I haven't got the time!
- But I can help you, Mary-Belle.
- You can turn blue.
- Don't worry, Mary-Belle.
I'll save you or die.
- Is that the comforting alternative?
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] A secret agent
should never sleep.
But there I was dreaming
of Mom's apple pie
while up on the deck,
Renzo and his cutthroats
were taking the first step,
killing an innocent from Cuban
and pretending some
imaginary monster did it
just so they would be
panicked into changing course
so that Renzo could steer them
to his own picked destination.
(Jack whistling)
(dramatic music)
- Pete, wait one minute,
then give the alarm.
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] But what none of us knew
was that the monster invented by Renzo
had already been invented
by somebody else,
by a couple of other monsters, I guess.
(screaming)
(dramatic music)
(men yelling)
- Help!
Police, murder!
It's a monster!
(speaking foreign language)
- What did he say?
- The general says, "What happened?"
- Well, I have an idea,
if you'd like to hear it.
- Please, go ahead.
- Well, I don't think
it was anything human
that killed his soldier.
See the tracks and the claw
wounds on their bodies.
In my studied opinion,
those soldiers were attacked
by some weird creature from the sea.
It came in,
did your boys in and vanishes.
What's so funny?
- A creature, how silly!
Do you really think it?
(speaking foreign language)
- Cue us, Colonel.
- Well, the general says,
you're right.
It is a monster.
(speaking foreign language)
The general says these
waters are very dangerous,
so we must plan a new course.
(speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
- Catch that?
Our brave General Tostada
didn't miss an excuse
to blow the trip and change course.
- Do you think he's
got a glint in his eye?
- Pure gold.
Maybe we won't have to knock them all off.
- Aww.
- You boys are getting careless.
I told you to kill one, not two.
What's the matter, can't you count?
Okay, Pete.
All right, take the wheel.
- Well, gee, I thought it was only one.
Oh, I can't figure this out.
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] So, we were going
somewhere I didn't know.
Washington didn't know.
Renzo didn't know.
We all had to find out.
- Well, gentlemen, I think we
ought to make our decision.
(speaking foreign language)
(Pete howling)
Thank you, Pete.
Now, has anybody got an idea?
- About what?
- About where we're going?
I thought it was to Ciudad
Trujillo we were going?
- Oh, no, that's been changed.
General Tostada thinks
we ought to change course
in order to escape the monster.
(speaking foreign language)
- Caracas, Venezuela.
- No, no, no, no.
I think we ought to go to--
- Let's go to India!
I've always wanted to see a sacred cow.
- Actually, I think we
ought to go to Cannes.
It's really swank this time of year.
- Will you listen?
- So strange, my friends.
I always had a secret desire.
Always wanted to go to Bali, you know?
- Bali?
- [Both] Bali?
Bali?
(dramatic whimsical music)
- We are not going to Bali.
- Caracas, Venezuela.
- No!
Please tell the general
that I am convinced
we ought to go to San Juan, Puerto Rico.
(speaking foreign language)
- This is agent XK150,
calling Agent XK120,
via 190SL.
Come in, Havana.
- Now, the first thing we
got to think about is to
escape this stinking monster.
Now if you take a look at the charts,
you'll notice there's a lot of deep water
just north of Puerto Rico.
Too deep for the monster to live in.
- Well, how do you know he
can't live in deep water?
- Because of his feet.
He's a walker and he's
got to stay at the bottom,
all right, stupid?
- I'm not stupid.
- Now, when we get to Puerto Rico,
we'll take the strongbox ashore.
Now as an American, I won't be noticed.
I'll take a plane up to Cuidad Trujillo.
Take the box with me.
- I can say unequivocally,
without the slightest
qualm of doubt that the gang is
heading for Bali.
I think the government should watch for us
at the Panama Canal.
Over.
(speaking foreign language)
- The General says it's all right.
We may go to Puerto Rico, but
he won't keep the strong box
out of his sight.
- Okay, it's a deal.
(dramatic music)
What do you think of this, Sparks?
- It looks like a Portuguese
fishing boat to me.
- Good guess.
But you're wrong.
The Cuban Coastguards.
Looks like they're coming this way.
Maybe they're looking for the gold.
Say, Pete.
Tell Tostada and his men to stay below.
Sparks, see if you can catch a fish.
Everybody keep your guns handy.
- [XK150] I don't have any guns.
- Mary-Belle give him one of your guns.
- No!
- Give him one of your guns,
Mary-Belle.
Now, let's appear casual.
Mary-Belle, sing a song.
(mellow music)
♪ Oh, kiss me ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ Please kiss me fine ♪
♪ I'll make you forget ♪
♪ What you got on your mind ♪
♪ Oh, kiss my full lips ♪
♪ They're nice ♪
♪ You bet ♪
♪ So kiss them ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ They'll make you forget ♪
♪ The war ♪
♪ Remember somewhere ♪
♪ In '52 ♪
♪ I met you ♪
♪ Somewhere ♪
♪ In '52 ♪
♪ You kissed me somewhere ♪
♪ Oh my ♪
♪ Oh, kiss ♪
♪ Me baby ♪
♪ Don't you make ♪
♪ Me mad ♪
♪ I can make you forget ♪
♪ All that you never had ♪
♪ Oh, kiss me ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ I am ♪
(ship horn honking)
♪ Divine ♪
♪ If you ever ♪
♪ Wanted me ♪
♪ You kiss me ♪
♪ Fine ♪
♪ And the creature ♪
♪ From the Haunted Sea ♪
♪ You'll never need ♪
♪ To feel ♪
- Ahoy there!
We're looking for the gold
that stole from the people of Cuba.
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ Come here ♪
- We'd like to come aboard.
- We're Americans on a
pleasure trip out here.
I don't think you've got any
authority to search this ship.
♪ In '52 ♪
- I think this the authority
to search this boat.
- Well, as you can see
there's nothing on board.
- I haven't seen anything, I
wanna take a look down below.
- [XK150] He didn't
sound like a Cuban to me.
I figured in this situation
I'd better stick with Renzo,
so I decided to knock
out leader of the Cubans
with a fish I had on the end of my line.
- Sparks!
Hey, good work, Pete!
Listen, we better check the boat
and see if there were any others.
♪ Oh, kiss me ♪
- Mary-belle,
you can stop singing now.
- You have this terrific voice.
- Oh, if I could only push you overboard.
- Your talents are being
allowed to molder away
unknown to humanity.
You could be a star.
The toast of three continents,
your name in lights.
Let me take you away and deliver you.
- I just can't believe that you're real.
- [XK150] She was madly in love with me,
only she didn't know it yet.
- I think I smell land.
Are we almost there?
- Oh, about six or eight hours.
- Another lucky shooter.
For the point.
- You're ravishing.
- You're sick!
- Listen, I have a plan.
As soon as we get there,
we'll wait for night.
And when Renzo isn't looking,
we'll jump off and swim for shore
through shark-infested waters
so no one will follow us.
Then we'll steal a sailing
dinghy and head for Brazil.
How do you like it?
- I think it's grand, you ought to do it.
- Well, I meant you too.
- Honey, I wouldn't ride
on the same bus with you.
- Now Pete, I want you
to listen carefully.
On the north coast of the Big Island,
there's a teeny speck of land
called La Isla del Boracho,
named after one of Columbus's lieutenants.
It should be deserted by now.
We ought to be able to land there, huh?
(imitating monkey)
Good.
Now, there's a reef around the island,
and a very narrow opening
which we have to go through.
I am going to
run this yacht on the rocks
right at the entrance.
Now, during the panic,
we'll take the strongbox,
load on a skiff, and head for shore.
Now, Pete, when we get
over 30 feet of water,
I'll give you a signal.
And then I want you to capsize the boat.
You understand?
Later, Pete, we'll come
back and dive for it.
You understand everything?
- Sure.
We hit the rocks,
- Yeah.
- and then we put the box in the skiff,
and then we dump it over 30 feet of water,
so we can come back and get it.
And that's because it's
filled with nitroglycerin.
That shouldn't be on board anyway.
(whimsical music)
- Isla Boracho.
- Look at these reefs!
(dramatic music)
- Reefs dead ahead!
(dramatic music)
- We're starting through.
(speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
(growling)
(dramatic music)
- Come on, baby, I'll save you!
- Oh please.
- Come on,
it's a long walk, Mary-Belle.
- Remove your hands, sir.
- Very well, I won't leave
you, I'll never leave you.
We'll drown together.
- You're demented.
- Come on, life's short.
- My, what a short memory.
- What the hell was this?
(speaking foreign language)
- There are still a few miles left,
and we will be underwater.
- It's all right, be calm everybody.
The boat's insured.
(imitating donkey)
(yelling in foreign language)
(dramatic music)
(shouting in foreign language)
- [XK150] Everything
went according to plan.
For Renzo and the monsters.
(dramatic music)
♪ Row, row, row your boat
gently up the creek ♪
♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily,
merrily, I'm going to be sick ♪
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] You know, this reminds me
of one time on Lake Minnetonka.
Louise Schmidt and I were paddling along,
when what do you think happened?
(dramatic music)
- The general said you have your orders
as soon as he can estimate the situation.
- Well, you can tell ol' General
that he's through giving
orders around here.
Now look.
You men have no money and you have no guns
and you're on U.S. soil.
That's all right, I'm on your side.
Pete.
I want you to search the island.
See if anybody lives here.
Jack.
You take one of the
lifeboats and row to shore.
Make your way to San Juan
and rent us a fishing boat
and plenty of diving gear.
(Pete squealing)
Ah-huh.
Come on, boys, let's go.
(Pete baaing)
Oh Colonel,
you see if you can get
your men to build us a
lean-to or something to keep the rain off.
- Attencion.
- Come on, baby.
(speaking foreign language)
Isn't this just great?
- Could stay here forever.
- That won't be necessary, baby.
- Why?
- Well the way I figure it,
these Cubans aren't very much at diving.
But Jack, Pete and I are all
pretty good spear fishermen.
We'll go down,
find the strongbox, and hide
it in a hole in the reef.
After that, we'll tell the
Cubans that it's no use.
We give up.
It'll be safe there for months,
even years until we're ready
to come back and get it.
You like it?
- Boopsie,
sometimes you are so
smart you make me sick.
(dramatic music)
- Hello, operator?
Get me Havana, Cuba, 652-314.
Cuba.
(speaking foreign language)
Oh, listen, I don't have the right change,
so would you mind charging
that to my home phone
which is in Washington DC?
Uh, in the U.S.A.
It is 762-691.
(speaking foreign language) Washington.
(speaking foreign language)
Whatever.
Right, thanks a lot.
Huh, the service is terrific.
Hello, Santo Domingo bar?
Is there a girl there playing chess?
You're right, I want to talk to her.
Hello,
I'll give you all my utilities
and all my railroads for Park Place.
- Not a chance.
Go directly to jail.
Do not pass Go.
Do not collect your $200.
- XK120?
- Right. XK150?
- Right!
Listen, I, uh I can't really talk now.
I don't know exactly what's
happening or where I am,
but I have a feeling that this case
is about to bust wide open.
I can't talk now, someone's
waiting to use the phone,
but I'll keep in touch.
Did you get that?
- Repeat the last part of that message.
- I'll
keep
in
touch.
Did
you
get that?
- Right.
Which way do I turn this decoder pin?
- Left.
- Left?
- Right!
- Right!
(dramatic music)
(whimsical music)
(imitating lion)
(creature roars)
(imitating lion)
(creature roars)
(imitating lion)
(imitating monkey)
(imitating lion)
(whimsical music)
(imitating rooster)
(imitating hen)
(whimsical music)
(imitating ape)
(whimsical music)
(imitating bear)
- You have to be good for something now.
(speaking foreign language)
- Hello.
(Cubans shouting)
Eat, eat, it's good, it's good.
- Where'd you find her, Pete.
(Pete laughing)
- Pete, aren't you going to
introduce me to the lady?
- Isn't she beautiful, Renzo?
- Very lovely.
Where did you meet?
(imitating elephants)
Oh no.
- That must mean they're in love.
(imitating dove)
(Pete laughing)
- I wish you many happy
returns of the day.
- Oh, isn't that a ring
you're wearing, Miss, uh?
- Porcina Perez.
- It's a wedding ring.
(dramatic music)
- Hop along, baby doll.
- Aloha!
- [Pete] Get the equipment?
- Oh, oh about 20 bottles, 10 regulators,
masks, spear guns, the works.
- Overdid it as usual.
Well, okay, we're gonna
start diving this afternoon.
- I brought something
else along with me, too.
(speaking foreign language)
Carmelita,
I'd like you to meet Renzo Capetto,
my sister, Mary-Belle.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Mr. Pete Peterson and...
Well, I don't know who the
large woman with him is.
- Porcina Perez.
- Hi.
- Hello everybody.
- You found this woman in San Juan?
- Well, she was living in a sort of
sorority house down by the docks.
She's awful friendly.
- Why don't you come on with me, honey.
I'll show you our sorority house.
- Senor Capetto, I have
the honor to report
that my men will be ready one hour.
- Ready for what?
- Dive to the strongbox.
- You mean, your men are divers?
- Yes, they are the Cuban Army frogmen.
- Ole.
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] I had the
situation well in hand.
Mary-Belle was weakening,
as I'm sure you noticed.
Then, she came into my life.
I didn't see her coming, but
somehow I sensed her presence
and knew that my life was changed forever.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Who are you?
- Carmelita Rodriguez.
- Sparks Moran.
As a trained espionage agent,
I could tell that she was attracted to me.
But I wanted Mary-Belle,
and Mary-Belle wanted Renzo.
And Renzo wanted the gold.
- Hey, hey, hey.
Sparks, Sparks.
Idiot!
Let's keep this thing firm.
- Are you alright?
- Oh yes.
- All right, we're ready.
Where's the Cuban army?
- I don't know, but I'm ready.
(speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
- No.
No, gringos, no. (screaming)
- All right, now Pete, jump in.
(imitating elephant)
- Bye!
(dramatic music)
- Good luck, boopsie.
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] The search for
the strongbox had begun.
But the sea was cluttered up with Cubans
dispersed by General Tostada
to search independently.
All those Cubans alone in the deep.
This was a chance for Renzo to
again become the sea monster.
A lonely Cuban had found
one of the many wrecks
on the bottom,
and Renzo had found the lonely Cuban.
(dramatic music)
Their attack was cleanly executed.
The victim was dead.
The killers, delighted,
but not satisfied.
Renzo must have another
quart of Latin blood.
We waited
sensing the dangers below
while the unholy three sought new prey.
It didn't take long to find it.
(dramatic music)
- [Carmelita] What happened
to him, was he hurt?
- No, it was a monster!
- What do you mean a monster?
- A real live honest-to-goodness monster
with claws and everything.
- Are you nuts?
Who did this?
- Carmelita, it's too
dangerous for you here.
Let's run away and live a little.
- No, no, I'm in love with Sparks.
- Sparks Moran?
- Si.
Well, how can you be in love with him?
He's an idiot.
You ought to be in love with me.
- No, I'm in love with him.
And I don't care if I never see you again.
- Oh, if I'd only paid my
life insurance premium,
I'd kill myself.
- Oh, no, no, no.
Don't kill yourself.
- But why not?
- No.
You come with me, I'll show you.
Come with me to the the jungle.
- You've seen one jungle,
you've seen them all.
- You come with, you'll see, and you like.
- Hello Colonel.
- Senior.
I'm very much afraid of this monster.
- Well, then just pick up and go home.
- No.
I am an officer.
We will not stop until
we have the strongbox.
From now on, we'll dive with spearguns.
- Crazy.
(dramatic music)
- Mango!
Mango!
(dramatic music)
Mango!
(dramatic music)
Senor Happy Jack, this
girl is my daughter.
Her name is Mango.
- Mango?
(speaking foreign language)
- I was telling her what
that Carmelita do to you.
I was telling her to cheer you up.
- Gee, thanks, Porcina, but
it really wasn't necessary.
- Oh, but you no like Mango?
- Oh yeah, I like it.
- She not speak good English well, Senor.
- Well, I don't think
that's gonna matter at all.
- Okay.
I'm going back now.
Mr. Pete Peterson Jr.,
he is waiting for me now.
- Adios, Porcina.
- Adios.
(mellow jazz music)
(dramatic music)
(imitating bull)
(dramatic music)
- Are you all right, Porcina?
- Oh, I'm all right, my hero.
- Hey, where's Happy Jack?
- Oh come on, I take you to them.
- Them?
- Yes.
- Oh, I don't know what you said, Mango,
but it was sure was wonderful.
I feel the same way, Mango.
I never felt like this in my whole life.
Oh, I know, Mango, I know.
(upbeat music)
Why, here comes Pete and Porcina.
(upbeat music)
- Hi, Jack, who's your friend?
- Oh, this is Mango Perez,
Porcina's daughter.
- Gee, she's almost as
pretty as her mother!
- Yes, she's wonderful.
- Yeah, but can she do imitations?
- Well, I don't know.
And I don't care 'cause I love her.
- Gosh, you gonna marry her?
- Yeah, well why not?
- Why not?
If you marry Mango,
and I marry Porcina,
I'll be your father!
(Porcina hooting)
What kind of a bird call was that?
- Oh, we cannot talk here, we cannot talk.
My (speaking foreign language) husband,
he make big trouble.
- [Pete] Yeah, I just
had a fight with him.
- You know, Pete,
I'm getting tired of
all this running around.
You know what I'd like to do?
I'd like to marry Mango
and settle down here.
I could start a tennis club.
- They don't have clubs.
They have with rackets.
- You know, you're right.
- But you know something, though?
I'd like to do the same thing myself.
Say, why don't we rub them all out?
And this way, we can keep
the strongbox for ourselves.
- Oh yes!
Oh even Mary-Belle?
- Oh gee.
I don't know about her.
- Well, she is my sister.
'Course, we could keep her
around to do the housekeeping.
- Sure.
- And she'll get over losing Renzo.
- Sure!
- Well, how about it, is it a deal?
- Sure!
Besides, they've been cheating
on their income tax anyway.
(speaking foreign language)
- Mango, she want go swimming.
- All right, let's go.
- Where's Pete and the boy?
They know we should be
diving this afternoon.
- I think they're somewhere in the jungle.
(speaking foreign language)
- What's this?
Well, what is this?
- This man's wife is playing
around with Mr. Pete.
He's very angry.
- That's tough.
(speaking foreign language)
- This man wants to sell you his wife
for $50 and a case of rum.
- Tell him, he's nuts.
(speaking foreign language)
- Carmenita, will you talk to him?
We're busy.
- Oh sure.
We'll tell him to cut down
to 20 for a fifth of gin.
- Gin nothing!
Who wants to buy his improbable wife?
Come on, General Tostada, let's get going.
(speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
All right, baby,
listen, you hold on to these,
because I can't use them
without Pete or Jack to help me.
- I'll keep them warm for you.
(dramatic music)
(Pete laughing)
(dramatic music)
- You're it!
- You're it!
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] Renzo Capetto had
at last found the strongbox.
And the unknown partner
had found Renzo Capetto.
(dramatic music)
- No!
You're it, you're it, you're it!
(dramatic music)
(Pete shouting)
(dramatic music)
- Mango!
Mango!
Mango!
(dramatic music)
Mango!
Mango!
- Mango!
Please, find my daughter, please!
(dramatic music)
- Mango!
Mango!
- Mango!
Mango!
(dramatic music)
- Why'd you have to do it, Renzo?
- Why did I have to do what?
- Don't play games with me.
Why'd you kill her?
- Jack, I swear,
I had nothing--
- I said, don't play games.
We all saw the same five
incisions, and those brown marks
with that stupid toilet plunger.
- Why don't you ask Mary-Belle.
I gave her the rake before I went under.
- That won't play.
You had two more in your trunk,
just in case you said, remember?
- Yeah, I remember, but
they're still there.
I can't convince him,
honey, maybe you can.
- I'm sorry, honey.
Afraid, I'm gonna have
to go along with Jack.
- You think I did it?
- What else can I think?
You made that monster up out of thin air.
Now, don't try to tell me it's real.
I am not that stupid.
- Well, I am.
I always believed in it.
- But it's gotta be real.
Either that, or the Cubans
are trying to kill us off.
- I can't buy that.
- I don't care what you buy.
From now on, we're gonna dive with spears
like the rest of them.
We've got to get rid of
the rest of those Cubans
as quickly as possible.
We'll start tomorrow morning with Tostada.
Jack?
(barks)
Pete?
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] Possible death notwithstanding,
the courageous General and
two of his men dove once more
into the deadly sea.
But,
as usual, they were not alone.
Renzo waited for them to separate.
(dramatic music)
One pulled away, and then there were two.
(dramatic music)
Tostada went out alone
into the forbidden void
with the killers closing in.
(dramatic music)
The giant observer stood watching
over a pathetic bit of cloth,
all that remained of Mango.
At last,
Tostada had found his gold
in his own watery grave.
(dramatic music)
The General died as all Generals should.
His greedy murderers
let his body drift away
while they congratulated each other.
(dramatic music)
Happy Jack found the scrap of a dress
and knew what had happened to his beloved.
Suddenly.
(intense dramatic music)
- Don't touch me!
- Oh honey!
- Go ahead, try to talk
yourself out of it.
Try to talk yourself cool this time.
- Baby--
- Tell me the Cubans did it.
Only they were on board
pulling in the general.
Now, who was down there with Jack?
- No, baby, you gotta believe me.
- I don't have to look at you again!
(dramatic music)
Oh, Renz, ooh!
- Mary-Belle, I saw what he did to you.
They killed your brother,
and now, you've got to leave, Mary-Belle,
and there's no one to help you but me.
Oh, Mary-Belle, I love you
so much that I could switch.
- Get, get on!
(dramatic music)
- What do you do to my man?
- Oh, shut up!
(dramatic music)
- I'll save you.
(dramatic music)
It was dusk.
I could tell because
the sun was going down.
- You were right, Senor.
All my army's finished.
I knew when the General died.
I don't care about the box anymore,
or the monster will get me.
I don't want him to
kill any more of my men.
- Neither do I, Colonel.
- I think we must go to Ciudad
Trujillo in the morning.
- You can go anywhere you like.
I'm going home.
- To America?
- America?
No, I can't go back there anymore.
Sicily.
- Oh.
- I've got an uncle there
who's been after me for years
to help him stomp grapes.
It's beginning to appeal to me.
- Mary-Belle hates me.
- I know.
But I love you.
- Kind of nice having somebody love you.
- Why don't you try to love me?
You might like it.
- I guess I can try.
She pressed her hot
Latin lips against mine.
And I forgot everything but Carmelita.
But our silent partner was
not going to let me forget.
This was it.
There was but one thing a responsible
trusted representative of
the United States government
could do at a time like this:
get out of there.
- Mary-belle?
- Yes?
- Honey,
I'd just like one more chance to explain.
Please.
- All right, boopsie.
Doesn't really matter.
No matter where you go, or
what you do or who you kill,
I'll love you till the day I die.
(speaking foreign language)
(intense dramatic music)
(screaming)
- [XK150] Renzo loved
Mary-Belle but was the skipper,
and decided to go down ahead of the ship.
(intense dramatic music)
(screaming)
(intense dramatic music)
(mellow music)
Carmelita, I've never
known a girl like you.
- Did you spend all your
life in a monastery?
- Carmelita, I love you and I,
I want to marry you and
take you away from all this.
- Mmm, that I would like it, I think.
- Of course, we'd have
to live on the salary
of an America spy, which is $41.50 a week.
- I don't care.
You so strong, so intelligent.
You solve, yourself, the whole case.
You are the smartest
(speaking foreign language)
in the whole world.
- I'm not really as smart
as I look, Carmelita.
You see, I, I have to admit that
all that time I thought
Renzo and the Cubans
were trying to steal that strongbox.
But I was wrong.
The real killer was a monster.
- So what.
You're beautiful!
- [XK150] So, I got the girl.
And guess who got the gold?
(burps)
(dramatic music)
(gun shots blasting)
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] I had to go to
the Santo Domingo Bar,
and I had to find Agent
XK120, whom I'd never met.
(tense music)
I looked around the room.
Long training and my own instinct told me
that the girl sitting at the table
seemed the most likely prospect.
(dramatic music)
- The king is dead.
Long live the king.
- Is that supposed to
be a political remark?
- I don't know anything about politics.
Do you play?
- I never worked, if I can help it.
- I meant chess.
It's a very interesting game.
- So is this one we're playing.
Would you like a drink?
- I wouldn't mind.
- Waiter,
bring us a bottle of Chateau Marmot, 1907.
- 1911 was a better year.
- 1911 it is.
- We don't have any Chateau Marmot,
but we have a good Chateau Briand, 1922.
- Forget it.
make it a couple of Rum Collins, Kilo 58.
I had to be sure it was you.
XK120?
- Right.
XK150?
- Right.
Who's the waiter?
- One of them.
Thinks I'm on their side.
- She was beautiful.
I could have killed myself for
wearing this stupid disguise.
Now she would never
know me as I really am.
I'm leaving tonight.
We'll keep in touch by radio.
You have the code?
- In point of fact.
- Yes.
- In point of fact.
- Yes.
- In point of fact, I've
got my decoder ring.
- Right.
Pay no attention to me when I leave.
- Right.
Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?
- Right.
(romantic piano music)
(eclectic music)
- [Narrator] The 20th century
occurred in Havana, Cuba.
The Revolutionary victors marched in,
and the national complexion
changed completely.
They had been liberated.
The survivors of the old regime
escaped as best they could,
taking with them only
a few meager effects,
such as the Cuban treasury
and other art objects.
It wasn't always easy to
smuggle a loot out of Cuba,
and so, secret meetings were
being held all over the island.
This story of robbery,
double-cross, and murder
begins with just such a meeting.
(dramatic music)
- Are you Renzo Capetto?
- [Renzo] I am.
Who are you?
- Nevermind who I am.
It's the mission that counts.
- [Renzo] Let's get on with it.
- As an America gambler and gangster,
you're above suspicion.
Of course, you know that our
government has been overthrown.
- You know, I heard that.
- Shut up.
- But not for long.
We'll be back.
And if you think you've
seen executions now, oh boy.
- Bravo!
- Bravissimo!
- Shut up!
- But of course, in order to
finance a great kind of revolution,
it has been necessary for us to
steal the Cuban treasure.
- Hoo-rah!
- Shut up!
- Let us proceed.
You're going to lose your casino,
so you'll be leaving Cuba anyway.
You have a big yacht, you
can leave anytime you wish,
such as immediately.
Therefore, I'm going to
entrust you a solid trust.
Here we have one quarter
of the Cuban treasury.
Your group, General Tostada,
Colonel Cabeza Grande and a squad of men
will proceed to Ciudad Trujillo.
There you wait for us to contact you
and relieve you of the money.
One type of which will be paid to you.
Do you understand?
- I get the whole picture.
- Now, you do the rest.
Senores.
(dramatic music)
General Tostada, Colonel Cabeza Grande.
Senor Renzo Capetto and--
- My name is Happy Jack
Monahan, glad to meet you gents.
- [Spy] And now,
the gold.
(men yelling)
(Jack whistles)
(dramatic music)
- [Renzo] You two had
better get into the car.
- [Colonel Grande] The General
doesn't know any English,
Senor Capetto.
I'll be his translator for you.
Bueno?
- Bueno.
- Bueno.
(speaking foreign language)
- [Renzo] Now, it's time to go.
Adios?
- Adios.
- I'll see you later, huh?
- Or don't.
(dramatic music)
(men yelling in foreign language)
(guns firing)
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] The first move
in the great conspiracy
had been made.
The Cuban Treasury was
now in the gentle hands of
Renzo Capetto,
the most trustworthy man ever
to be deported from Sicily.
They thought they were smart.
But little did they know that I,
Sparks Moran, was an American agent.
Luckily, I had been able to
work my way into the crew
by posing as a notorious gun
machine burglar from Chicago.
My real name is XK150.
- Hey you.
Come on down here and help with this.
- [Woman] How'd it go, boopsie?
- We had a harried little
chase, but we got the stuff.
- Crazy.
- Hey, Colonel Grande, you
can bring your men aboard.
- What happens with all that mouth?
- I don't know.
I thought we'd just
have an officer or two,
but it looks like we're gonna
have a little difficulty.
- You will think of a way to
remove them and grab that loot,
'cause you're my big,
strong, swinging brain.
- You're sweet, baby.
- Hi Sis.
- Hi, babydoll.
Did they scare you?
- Just a little.
- All right, boys, get ready to go.
Pete!
Take the wheel.
Jack,
you and
Clarks, or Sparks,
get ready to cast off.
- Well, well, this is a
beautiful night for sailing.
- [XK150] And so, we left Cuba forever
sailing the most astounding adventure
to be inflicted upon man.
And what a group we were.
The big cheese was Renzo Capetto.
Alias Capo Rosetto.
Alias Ratto Pazetti.
Alias Zeppo Staccato.
Alias Shirley Lamour.
At 15, he served his first
stretch for rolling a drunk
in the lobby of the Waldorf
Astoria on New Year's Eve 1934.
In 1940, he was involved
in an unsuccessful attempt
to nominate Benito Mussolini
for the Republican ticket.
During the war,
he was rejected by the Navy,
the Marines, and the SS.
Now deported, he has retained his contacts
with the syndicate
and is still regarded as
a dangerous character.
Mary-Belle Monahan.
Alias Mary Monahan Belle,
alias Belle Mary Monahan,
alias Monahan Mary-Belle.
They say she was a gun moll
just because Lucky Luciano
gave her a Rolls Royce every Christmas.
And they can't really prove
that she sneaked into the
Hollywood Ball with a tommy gun
and rubbed out the convention
of police chiefs in 1956.
All I know that she got nailed cold
when she was pushing heroin in
a laundry room in Boys Town.
But, I'm willing to give anyone
the benefit of the doubt,
especially when she's as
crazy-looking as Mary-Belle.
This is Happy Jack Monahan,
so called because he developed
a muscle spasm in his cheeks
from watching too may of
Humphrey Bogart pictures.
Happy Jack's record is brief.
His only crimes having been
committed after his sister,
Mary-Belle, talked Renzo
into giving him a job.
Up until that time, Happy
Jack had been a tennis bum
sleeping under the
bleachers at Forest Hills,
and mooching nickels in the BMT subway.
Since taking up with Renzo,
he has become a well-known
dice loader and murderer.
The last member of the deadly
quartet is Pete Peterson Jr,
son of Pete Peterson Sr,
famed vaudeville bird mimic.
Pete Jr. inherited his father's talent
for animal imitations, but unfortunately,
he blew his brain out of wack
while imitating a whooping crane
at the Elks Convention
picnic in Oshkosh in 1942.
Since then,
anyone has been able to
convince Pete of anything.
Renzo found him struggling along
as a pickpocket at Jones Beach
and took him with him in his exile.
Since then, he has been
Renzo's faithful servant,
shining his shoes and
rubbing out his enemies.
In return, Renzo permits him to
imitate any animal that
comes into his head.
(imitating yak)
That, for instance, was the mating call
of the Himalayan yak.
There they are, my shipmates.
I didn't know where they were taking these
unsuspecting Cubans, but
I knew they were taken.
And so, with grim faces,
we set our helm against a perilous future.
(singing in foreign language)
- Okay, now, before I begin,
does anyone anything to say?
Pete?
(imitating cow mooing)
How about you, Jack, what
do you think we should do?
- Give up?
- Oh, now, honey.
Is that anyway for
Mary-Belle's big man to talk?
- Now, look.
We've got to get rid of at
least half of these Cubans
without making the rest
of them suspicious.
There used to be a Cuban fisherman
by the name of Hemingway.
Got hooked on a sea monster
in these waters a couple of years ago,
and he was dragged for miles.
Got a lot of publicity.
We're gonna show these boys
the greatest sea monster
they ever saw in their lives.
Jack, in my trunk,
there's some garden rakes
used for weeding tomatoes.
You get them and sharpen
them like scalpels.
Pete, you mix up a mess of
olive oil and green ink,
and spread some seaweed
from over the sides.
Now, Jack,
what are you gonna do?
- Sharpen up the garden rakes?
- Good boy.
Pete?
How about you?
(imitating dog barking)
- Does he have to do that?
- All right, Jack, beat it.
(singing in foreign language)
We've had a good life
together, haven't we, baby?
- You know it, boops.
Winters in Tijuana,
summers in Cicero.
Remember that wonderful
trip we took to Monte Carlo?
- You mean the time we
heisted all those $100 chips?
Sure.
- [XK150] I'll admit
I couldn't really hear
anything through that door,
but I was sure they were up to no good.
I it was up to me to stop them.
- Now, we're off again to parts unknown.
- It's like a second honeymoon.
- You know something?
We ought to get married.
- Now, don't be a drag, baby.
- How much drag do you
think's in the strongbox?
- There's plenty of Cuban sugar, though.
- What are we gonna do with all of it?
(mellow music)
- I don't know.
I always wanted to open a
home for the aged hoodlums.
- Baby, you got a heart
as big as all outdoors.
(upbeat music)
- A government agent
lives in constant peril.
I devised my undetectable radio set
using simulated hot dogs for knobs
and tubes inside of dill pickles
while watching a number of
sewer workmen during lunch hour.
It comes in mighty handy, believe you me.
One little slip, and I could be headed
for Davy Jones' locker.
Hello, Havana, this is agent XK150.
Over.
I'm making my first official report.
So far,
not too much has happened,
but I'm anticipating.
Renzo Capetto and his gang
are on board as suspected.
I am with them.
I will call you again
soon one of these days.
This is Agent XK150 signing off.
(upbeat music)
- What's happening?
- Just having a bite.
- Gee, that looks good.
Do you mind if I join you?
(upbeat music)
- Come to mama.
Crazy.
(speaking foreign language)
The general says,
"Good morning, you gorgeous
beautiful creature."
- Would you ask the General to
remove himself from my presence?
(speaking foreign language)
The general said you're, um,
you're a
golden angel flower singing.
- Would you tell the General
that I feel that he'd be most at home
barbecuing slowly over a hot spit?
You must be a glutton for punishment.
(whimsical music)
Oh now, what do you want?
- You're too good for this life.
You're young and you're innocent.
You should get out.
Won't do you good.
- Are you unwell?
The getting is great.
- You're a victim of circumstance.
- I try.
I do try.
- You're a crazy mixed-up kid.
- I'm perfectly adjusted
to my life of crime.
Now, what is your story?
- Oh, well, you see, I'm beyond help.
But you're not.
You can find a clean young man to marry.
- I haven't got the time!
- But I can help you, Mary-Belle.
- You can turn blue.
- Don't worry, Mary-Belle.
I'll save you or die.
- Is that the comforting alternative?
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] A secret agent
should never sleep.
But there I was dreaming
of Mom's apple pie
while up on the deck,
Renzo and his cutthroats
were taking the first step,
killing an innocent from Cuban
and pretending some
imaginary monster did it
just so they would be
panicked into changing course
so that Renzo could steer them
to his own picked destination.
(Jack whistling)
(dramatic music)
- Pete, wait one minute,
then give the alarm.
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] But what none of us knew
was that the monster invented by Renzo
had already been invented
by somebody else,
by a couple of other monsters, I guess.
(screaming)
(dramatic music)
(men yelling)
- Help!
Police, murder!
It's a monster!
(speaking foreign language)
- What did he say?
- The general says, "What happened?"
- Well, I have an idea,
if you'd like to hear it.
- Please, go ahead.
- Well, I don't think
it was anything human
that killed his soldier.
See the tracks and the claw
wounds on their bodies.
In my studied opinion,
those soldiers were attacked
by some weird creature from the sea.
It came in,
did your boys in and vanishes.
What's so funny?
- A creature, how silly!
Do you really think it?
(speaking foreign language)
- Cue us, Colonel.
- Well, the general says,
you're right.
It is a monster.
(speaking foreign language)
The general says these
waters are very dangerous,
so we must plan a new course.
(speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
- Catch that?
Our brave General Tostada
didn't miss an excuse
to blow the trip and change course.
- Do you think he's
got a glint in his eye?
- Pure gold.
Maybe we won't have to knock them all off.
- Aww.
- You boys are getting careless.
I told you to kill one, not two.
What's the matter, can't you count?
Okay, Pete.
All right, take the wheel.
- Well, gee, I thought it was only one.
Oh, I can't figure this out.
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] So, we were going
somewhere I didn't know.
Washington didn't know.
Renzo didn't know.
We all had to find out.
- Well, gentlemen, I think we
ought to make our decision.
(speaking foreign language)
(Pete howling)
Thank you, Pete.
Now, has anybody got an idea?
- About what?
- About where we're going?
I thought it was to Ciudad
Trujillo we were going?
- Oh, no, that's been changed.
General Tostada thinks
we ought to change course
in order to escape the monster.
(speaking foreign language)
- Caracas, Venezuela.
- No, no, no, no.
I think we ought to go to--
- Let's go to India!
I've always wanted to see a sacred cow.
- Actually, I think we
ought to go to Cannes.
It's really swank this time of year.
- Will you listen?
- So strange, my friends.
I always had a secret desire.
Always wanted to go to Bali, you know?
- Bali?
- [Both] Bali?
Bali?
(dramatic whimsical music)
- We are not going to Bali.
- Caracas, Venezuela.
- No!
Please tell the general
that I am convinced
we ought to go to San Juan, Puerto Rico.
(speaking foreign language)
- This is agent XK150,
calling Agent XK120,
via 190SL.
Come in, Havana.
- Now, the first thing we
got to think about is to
escape this stinking monster.
Now if you take a look at the charts,
you'll notice there's a lot of deep water
just north of Puerto Rico.
Too deep for the monster to live in.
- Well, how do you know he
can't live in deep water?
- Because of his feet.
He's a walker and he's
got to stay at the bottom,
all right, stupid?
- I'm not stupid.
- Now, when we get to Puerto Rico,
we'll take the strongbox ashore.
Now as an American, I won't be noticed.
I'll take a plane up to Cuidad Trujillo.
Take the box with me.
- I can say unequivocally,
without the slightest
qualm of doubt that the gang is
heading for Bali.
I think the government should watch for us
at the Panama Canal.
Over.
(speaking foreign language)
- The General says it's all right.
We may go to Puerto Rico, but
he won't keep the strong box
out of his sight.
- Okay, it's a deal.
(dramatic music)
What do you think of this, Sparks?
- It looks like a Portuguese
fishing boat to me.
- Good guess.
But you're wrong.
The Cuban Coastguards.
Looks like they're coming this way.
Maybe they're looking for the gold.
Say, Pete.
Tell Tostada and his men to stay below.
Sparks, see if you can catch a fish.
Everybody keep your guns handy.
- [XK150] I don't have any guns.
- Mary-Belle give him one of your guns.
- No!
- Give him one of your guns,
Mary-Belle.
Now, let's appear casual.
Mary-Belle, sing a song.
(mellow music)
♪ Oh, kiss me ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ Please kiss me fine ♪
♪ I'll make you forget ♪
♪ What you got on your mind ♪
♪ Oh, kiss my full lips ♪
♪ They're nice ♪
♪ You bet ♪
♪ So kiss them ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ They'll make you forget ♪
♪ The war ♪
♪ Remember somewhere ♪
♪ In '52 ♪
♪ I met you ♪
♪ Somewhere ♪
♪ In '52 ♪
♪ You kissed me somewhere ♪
♪ Oh my ♪
♪ Oh, kiss ♪
♪ Me baby ♪
♪ Don't you make ♪
♪ Me mad ♪
♪ I can make you forget ♪
♪ All that you never had ♪
♪ Oh, kiss me ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ I am ♪
(ship horn honking)
♪ Divine ♪
♪ If you ever ♪
♪ Wanted me ♪
♪ You kiss me ♪
♪ Fine ♪
♪ And the creature ♪
♪ From the Haunted Sea ♪
♪ You'll never need ♪
♪ To feel ♪
- Ahoy there!
We're looking for the gold
that stole from the people of Cuba.
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ Come here ♪
- We'd like to come aboard.
- We're Americans on a
pleasure trip out here.
I don't think you've got any
authority to search this ship.
♪ In '52 ♪
- I think this the authority
to search this boat.
- Well, as you can see
there's nothing on board.
- I haven't seen anything, I
wanna take a look down below.
- [XK150] He didn't
sound like a Cuban to me.
I figured in this situation
I'd better stick with Renzo,
so I decided to knock
out leader of the Cubans
with a fish I had on the end of my line.
- Sparks!
Hey, good work, Pete!
Listen, we better check the boat
and see if there were any others.
♪ Oh, kiss me ♪
- Mary-belle,
you can stop singing now.
- You have this terrific voice.
- Oh, if I could only push you overboard.
- Your talents are being
allowed to molder away
unknown to humanity.
You could be a star.
The toast of three continents,
your name in lights.
Let me take you away and deliver you.
- I just can't believe that you're real.
- [XK150] She was madly in love with me,
only she didn't know it yet.
- I think I smell land.
Are we almost there?
- Oh, about six or eight hours.
- Another lucky shooter.
For the point.
- You're ravishing.
- You're sick!
- Listen, I have a plan.
As soon as we get there,
we'll wait for night.
And when Renzo isn't looking,
we'll jump off and swim for shore
through shark-infested waters
so no one will follow us.
Then we'll steal a sailing
dinghy and head for Brazil.
How do you like it?
- I think it's grand, you ought to do it.
- Well, I meant you too.
- Honey, I wouldn't ride
on the same bus with you.
- Now Pete, I want you
to listen carefully.
On the north coast of the Big Island,
there's a teeny speck of land
called La Isla del Boracho,
named after one of Columbus's lieutenants.
It should be deserted by now.
We ought to be able to land there, huh?
(imitating monkey)
Good.
Now, there's a reef around the island,
and a very narrow opening
which we have to go through.
I am going to
run this yacht on the rocks
right at the entrance.
Now, during the panic,
we'll take the strongbox,
load on a skiff, and head for shore.
Now, Pete, when we get
over 30 feet of water,
I'll give you a signal.
And then I want you to capsize the boat.
You understand?
Later, Pete, we'll come
back and dive for it.
You understand everything?
- Sure.
We hit the rocks,
- Yeah.
- and then we put the box in the skiff,
and then we dump it over 30 feet of water,
so we can come back and get it.
And that's because it's
filled with nitroglycerin.
That shouldn't be on board anyway.
(whimsical music)
- Isla Boracho.
- Look at these reefs!
(dramatic music)
- Reefs dead ahead!
(dramatic music)
- We're starting through.
(speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
(growling)
(dramatic music)
- Come on, baby, I'll save you!
- Oh please.
- Come on,
it's a long walk, Mary-Belle.
- Remove your hands, sir.
- Very well, I won't leave
you, I'll never leave you.
We'll drown together.
- You're demented.
- Come on, life's short.
- My, what a short memory.
- What the hell was this?
(speaking foreign language)
- There are still a few miles left,
and we will be underwater.
- It's all right, be calm everybody.
The boat's insured.
(imitating donkey)
(yelling in foreign language)
(dramatic music)
(shouting in foreign language)
- [XK150] Everything
went according to plan.
For Renzo and the monsters.
(dramatic music)
♪ Row, row, row your boat
gently up the creek ♪
♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily,
merrily, I'm going to be sick ♪
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] You know, this reminds me
of one time on Lake Minnetonka.
Louise Schmidt and I were paddling along,
when what do you think happened?
(dramatic music)
- The general said you have your orders
as soon as he can estimate the situation.
- Well, you can tell ol' General
that he's through giving
orders around here.
Now look.
You men have no money and you have no guns
and you're on U.S. soil.
That's all right, I'm on your side.
Pete.
I want you to search the island.
See if anybody lives here.
Jack.
You take one of the
lifeboats and row to shore.
Make your way to San Juan
and rent us a fishing boat
and plenty of diving gear.
(Pete squealing)
Ah-huh.
Come on, boys, let's go.
(Pete baaing)
Oh Colonel,
you see if you can get
your men to build us a
lean-to or something to keep the rain off.
- Attencion.
- Come on, baby.
(speaking foreign language)
Isn't this just great?
- Could stay here forever.
- That won't be necessary, baby.
- Why?
- Well the way I figure it,
these Cubans aren't very much at diving.
But Jack, Pete and I are all
pretty good spear fishermen.
We'll go down,
find the strongbox, and hide
it in a hole in the reef.
After that, we'll tell the
Cubans that it's no use.
We give up.
It'll be safe there for months,
even years until we're ready
to come back and get it.
You like it?
- Boopsie,
sometimes you are so
smart you make me sick.
(dramatic music)
- Hello, operator?
Get me Havana, Cuba, 652-314.
Cuba.
(speaking foreign language)
Oh, listen, I don't have the right change,
so would you mind charging
that to my home phone
which is in Washington DC?
Uh, in the U.S.A.
It is 762-691.
(speaking foreign language) Washington.
(speaking foreign language)
Whatever.
Right, thanks a lot.
Huh, the service is terrific.
Hello, Santo Domingo bar?
Is there a girl there playing chess?
You're right, I want to talk to her.
Hello,
I'll give you all my utilities
and all my railroads for Park Place.
- Not a chance.
Go directly to jail.
Do not pass Go.
Do not collect your $200.
- XK120?
- Right. XK150?
- Right!
Listen, I, uh I can't really talk now.
I don't know exactly what's
happening or where I am,
but I have a feeling that this case
is about to bust wide open.
I can't talk now, someone's
waiting to use the phone,
but I'll keep in touch.
Did you get that?
- Repeat the last part of that message.
- I'll
keep
in
touch.
Did
you
get that?
- Right.
Which way do I turn this decoder pin?
- Left.
- Left?
- Right!
- Right!
(dramatic music)
(whimsical music)
(imitating lion)
(creature roars)
(imitating lion)
(creature roars)
(imitating lion)
(imitating monkey)
(imitating lion)
(whimsical music)
(imitating rooster)
(imitating hen)
(whimsical music)
(imitating ape)
(whimsical music)
(imitating bear)
- You have to be good for something now.
(speaking foreign language)
- Hello.
(Cubans shouting)
Eat, eat, it's good, it's good.
- Where'd you find her, Pete.
(Pete laughing)
- Pete, aren't you going to
introduce me to the lady?
- Isn't she beautiful, Renzo?
- Very lovely.
Where did you meet?
(imitating elephants)
Oh no.
- That must mean they're in love.
(imitating dove)
(Pete laughing)
- I wish you many happy
returns of the day.
- Oh, isn't that a ring
you're wearing, Miss, uh?
- Porcina Perez.
- It's a wedding ring.
(dramatic music)
- Hop along, baby doll.
- Aloha!
- [Pete] Get the equipment?
- Oh, oh about 20 bottles, 10 regulators,
masks, spear guns, the works.
- Overdid it as usual.
Well, okay, we're gonna
start diving this afternoon.
- I brought something
else along with me, too.
(speaking foreign language)
Carmelita,
I'd like you to meet Renzo Capetto,
my sister, Mary-Belle.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Mr. Pete Peterson and...
Well, I don't know who the
large woman with him is.
- Porcina Perez.
- Hi.
- Hello everybody.
- You found this woman in San Juan?
- Well, she was living in a sort of
sorority house down by the docks.
She's awful friendly.
- Why don't you come on with me, honey.
I'll show you our sorority house.
- Senor Capetto, I have
the honor to report
that my men will be ready one hour.
- Ready for what?
- Dive to the strongbox.
- You mean, your men are divers?
- Yes, they are the Cuban Army frogmen.
- Ole.
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] I had the
situation well in hand.
Mary-Belle was weakening,
as I'm sure you noticed.
Then, she came into my life.
I didn't see her coming, but
somehow I sensed her presence
and knew that my life was changed forever.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Who are you?
- Carmelita Rodriguez.
- Sparks Moran.
As a trained espionage agent,
I could tell that she was attracted to me.
But I wanted Mary-Belle,
and Mary-Belle wanted Renzo.
And Renzo wanted the gold.
- Hey, hey, hey.
Sparks, Sparks.
Idiot!
Let's keep this thing firm.
- Are you alright?
- Oh yes.
- All right, we're ready.
Where's the Cuban army?
- I don't know, but I'm ready.
(speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
- No.
No, gringos, no. (screaming)
- All right, now Pete, jump in.
(imitating elephant)
- Bye!
(dramatic music)
- Good luck, boopsie.
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] The search for
the strongbox had begun.
But the sea was cluttered up with Cubans
dispersed by General Tostada
to search independently.
All those Cubans alone in the deep.
This was a chance for Renzo to
again become the sea monster.
A lonely Cuban had found
one of the many wrecks
on the bottom,
and Renzo had found the lonely Cuban.
(dramatic music)
Their attack was cleanly executed.
The victim was dead.
The killers, delighted,
but not satisfied.
Renzo must have another
quart of Latin blood.
We waited
sensing the dangers below
while the unholy three sought new prey.
It didn't take long to find it.
(dramatic music)
- [Carmelita] What happened
to him, was he hurt?
- No, it was a monster!
- What do you mean a monster?
- A real live honest-to-goodness monster
with claws and everything.
- Are you nuts?
Who did this?
- Carmelita, it's too
dangerous for you here.
Let's run away and live a little.
- No, no, I'm in love with Sparks.
- Sparks Moran?
- Si.
Well, how can you be in love with him?
He's an idiot.
You ought to be in love with me.
- No, I'm in love with him.
And I don't care if I never see you again.
- Oh, if I'd only paid my
life insurance premium,
I'd kill myself.
- Oh, no, no, no.
Don't kill yourself.
- But why not?
- No.
You come with me, I'll show you.
Come with me to the the jungle.
- You've seen one jungle,
you've seen them all.
- You come with, you'll see, and you like.
- Hello Colonel.
- Senior.
I'm very much afraid of this monster.
- Well, then just pick up and go home.
- No.
I am an officer.
We will not stop until
we have the strongbox.
From now on, we'll dive with spearguns.
- Crazy.
(dramatic music)
- Mango!
Mango!
(dramatic music)
Mango!
(dramatic music)
Senor Happy Jack, this
girl is my daughter.
Her name is Mango.
- Mango?
(speaking foreign language)
- I was telling her what
that Carmelita do to you.
I was telling her to cheer you up.
- Gee, thanks, Porcina, but
it really wasn't necessary.
- Oh, but you no like Mango?
- Oh yeah, I like it.
- She not speak good English well, Senor.
- Well, I don't think
that's gonna matter at all.
- Okay.
I'm going back now.
Mr. Pete Peterson Jr.,
he is waiting for me now.
- Adios, Porcina.
- Adios.
(mellow jazz music)
(dramatic music)
(imitating bull)
(dramatic music)
- Are you all right, Porcina?
- Oh, I'm all right, my hero.
- Hey, where's Happy Jack?
- Oh come on, I take you to them.
- Them?
- Yes.
- Oh, I don't know what you said, Mango,
but it was sure was wonderful.
I feel the same way, Mango.
I never felt like this in my whole life.
Oh, I know, Mango, I know.
(upbeat music)
Why, here comes Pete and Porcina.
(upbeat music)
- Hi, Jack, who's your friend?
- Oh, this is Mango Perez,
Porcina's daughter.
- Gee, she's almost as
pretty as her mother!
- Yes, she's wonderful.
- Yeah, but can she do imitations?
- Well, I don't know.
And I don't care 'cause I love her.
- Gosh, you gonna marry her?
- Yeah, well why not?
- Why not?
If you marry Mango,
and I marry Porcina,
I'll be your father!
(Porcina hooting)
What kind of a bird call was that?
- Oh, we cannot talk here, we cannot talk.
My (speaking foreign language) husband,
he make big trouble.
- [Pete] Yeah, I just
had a fight with him.
- You know, Pete,
I'm getting tired of
all this running around.
You know what I'd like to do?
I'd like to marry Mango
and settle down here.
I could start a tennis club.
- They don't have clubs.
They have with rackets.
- You know, you're right.
- But you know something, though?
I'd like to do the same thing myself.
Say, why don't we rub them all out?
And this way, we can keep
the strongbox for ourselves.
- Oh yes!
Oh even Mary-Belle?
- Oh gee.
I don't know about her.
- Well, she is my sister.
'Course, we could keep her
around to do the housekeeping.
- Sure.
- And she'll get over losing Renzo.
- Sure!
- Well, how about it, is it a deal?
- Sure!
Besides, they've been cheating
on their income tax anyway.
(speaking foreign language)
- Mango, she want go swimming.
- All right, let's go.
- Where's Pete and the boy?
They know we should be
diving this afternoon.
- I think they're somewhere in the jungle.
(speaking foreign language)
- What's this?
Well, what is this?
- This man's wife is playing
around with Mr. Pete.
He's very angry.
- That's tough.
(speaking foreign language)
- This man wants to sell you his wife
for $50 and a case of rum.
- Tell him, he's nuts.
(speaking foreign language)
- Carmenita, will you talk to him?
We're busy.
- Oh sure.
We'll tell him to cut down
to 20 for a fifth of gin.
- Gin nothing!
Who wants to buy his improbable wife?
Come on, General Tostada, let's get going.
(speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
All right, baby,
listen, you hold on to these,
because I can't use them
without Pete or Jack to help me.
- I'll keep them warm for you.
(dramatic music)
(Pete laughing)
(dramatic music)
- You're it!
- You're it!
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] Renzo Capetto had
at last found the strongbox.
And the unknown partner
had found Renzo Capetto.
(dramatic music)
- No!
You're it, you're it, you're it!
(dramatic music)
(Pete shouting)
(dramatic music)
- Mango!
Mango!
Mango!
(dramatic music)
Mango!
Mango!
- Mango!
Please, find my daughter, please!
(dramatic music)
- Mango!
Mango!
- Mango!
Mango!
(dramatic music)
- Why'd you have to do it, Renzo?
- Why did I have to do what?
- Don't play games with me.
Why'd you kill her?
- Jack, I swear,
I had nothing--
- I said, don't play games.
We all saw the same five
incisions, and those brown marks
with that stupid toilet plunger.
- Why don't you ask Mary-Belle.
I gave her the rake before I went under.
- That won't play.
You had two more in your trunk,
just in case you said, remember?
- Yeah, I remember, but
they're still there.
I can't convince him,
honey, maybe you can.
- I'm sorry, honey.
Afraid, I'm gonna have
to go along with Jack.
- You think I did it?
- What else can I think?
You made that monster up out of thin air.
Now, don't try to tell me it's real.
I am not that stupid.
- Well, I am.
I always believed in it.
- But it's gotta be real.
Either that, or the Cubans
are trying to kill us off.
- I can't buy that.
- I don't care what you buy.
From now on, we're gonna dive with spears
like the rest of them.
We've got to get rid of
the rest of those Cubans
as quickly as possible.
We'll start tomorrow morning with Tostada.
Jack?
(barks)
Pete?
(dramatic music)
- [XK150] Possible death notwithstanding,
the courageous General and
two of his men dove once more
into the deadly sea.
But,
as usual, they were not alone.
Renzo waited for them to separate.
(dramatic music)
One pulled away, and then there were two.
(dramatic music)
Tostada went out alone
into the forbidden void
with the killers closing in.
(dramatic music)
The giant observer stood watching
over a pathetic bit of cloth,
all that remained of Mango.
At last,
Tostada had found his gold
in his own watery grave.
(dramatic music)
The General died as all Generals should.
His greedy murderers
let his body drift away
while they congratulated each other.
(dramatic music)
Happy Jack found the scrap of a dress
and knew what had happened to his beloved.
Suddenly.
(intense dramatic music)
- Don't touch me!
- Oh honey!
- Go ahead, try to talk
yourself out of it.
Try to talk yourself cool this time.
- Baby--
- Tell me the Cubans did it.
Only they were on board
pulling in the general.
Now, who was down there with Jack?
- No, baby, you gotta believe me.
- I don't have to look at you again!
(dramatic music)
Oh, Renz, ooh!
- Mary-Belle, I saw what he did to you.
They killed your brother,
and now, you've got to leave, Mary-Belle,
and there's no one to help you but me.
Oh, Mary-Belle, I love you
so much that I could switch.
- Get, get on!
(dramatic music)
- What do you do to my man?
- Oh, shut up!
(dramatic music)
- I'll save you.
(dramatic music)
It was dusk.
I could tell because
the sun was going down.
- You were right, Senor.
All my army's finished.
I knew when the General died.
I don't care about the box anymore,
or the monster will get me.
I don't want him to
kill any more of my men.
- Neither do I, Colonel.
- I think we must go to Ciudad
Trujillo in the morning.
- You can go anywhere you like.
I'm going home.
- To America?
- America?
No, I can't go back there anymore.
Sicily.
- Oh.
- I've got an uncle there
who's been after me for years
to help him stomp grapes.
It's beginning to appeal to me.
- Mary-Belle hates me.
- I know.
But I love you.
- Kind of nice having somebody love you.
- Why don't you try to love me?
You might like it.
- I guess I can try.
She pressed her hot
Latin lips against mine.
And I forgot everything but Carmelita.
But our silent partner was
not going to let me forget.
This was it.
There was but one thing a responsible
trusted representative of
the United States government
could do at a time like this:
get out of there.
- Mary-belle?
- Yes?
- Honey,
I'd just like one more chance to explain.
Please.
- All right, boopsie.
Doesn't really matter.
No matter where you go, or
what you do or who you kill,
I'll love you till the day I die.
(speaking foreign language)
(intense dramatic music)
(screaming)
- [XK150] Renzo loved
Mary-Belle but was the skipper,
and decided to go down ahead of the ship.
(intense dramatic music)
(screaming)
(intense dramatic music)
(mellow music)
Carmelita, I've never
known a girl like you.
- Did you spend all your
life in a monastery?
- Carmelita, I love you and I,
I want to marry you and
take you away from all this.
- Mmm, that I would like it, I think.
- Of course, we'd have
to live on the salary
of an America spy, which is $41.50 a week.
- I don't care.
You so strong, so intelligent.
You solve, yourself, the whole case.
You are the smartest
(speaking foreign language)
in the whole world.
- I'm not really as smart
as I look, Carmelita.
You see, I, I have to admit that
all that time I thought
Renzo and the Cubans
were trying to steal that strongbox.
But I was wrong.
The real killer was a monster.
- So what.
You're beautiful!
- [XK150] So, I got the girl.
And guess who got the gold?
(burps)
(dramatic music)