Crazy Stone (2006) - full transcript
Three thieves try to steal a valuable jade that is tightly guarded by a security chief. But the security guards are not the only obstacle these thieves are facing. An extremely unlucky internationally known master thief is also trying to get a hand on this piece of precious jade. What would be the final destination of this piece of crazy stone?
Besides the constant urge and
inability to pee...
Are there other symptoms?
I'll just have a look.
Relax
God is so unfair.
I take the cable car every day,
but I've never seen you.
Maybe I've been paying
too much attention to the scenery.
What can I say? ...I'm a photographer.
My name is Xie Xiaomeng.
You can just call me Charles.
Every time I look at the city
from this angle...
I feel, so strongly,
that the city is a mother.
And we're living inside her womb.
Pervert!
I was just thinking about that when...
I looked up and saw you.
Something about you touched me deeply.
You know what it is?
Maternal spirit.
The glorious aroma of maternal spirit.
Miss Li, is this the jade tiling
we originally used?
Of course, You were prejudiced
All the men's room had to be built entirely with jade.
Bring it down, bring it all down!
Bring this stone to Master Zhang
so he can examine it.
Hurry, hurry, bring it all down!
all down!
Hey, hey
Get moving! We don't want any trouble.
Ah, Xie.
You're really something!
They haven't been paid for
eight months straight.
Now it’s still impressive!
What is it?
Chairman Feng understands
your situation.
He knows you can't pay back the loan
Seeing as you already mortgaged
the land to us,
Chairman Feng has drafted a contract,
So sign it, and we'll call it even.
I'm telling you,
Lay everyone off early,
Give them time to find a new job.
Now that would be a good deed.
Don't we still have another twenty days more?
Not a big deal.
What're you hollering about?
Bring it down!
Watch out!
My suit
Salute!
Beg me
You're so useless, really
I’ll
I’ll just nuke you!
I'm really gonna do it!
What are you looking at?
Move!
Hello.
Is that your truck?
You can't park here.
Your driver's license, please.
And your business registration?
B
They... They're in the car
Smoke?
No, thanks.
We're moving house.
If we can't park here,
Where can we park?
We really have no idea.
C'mon, give us a break.
Rules are rules, even if you're moving.
Go!
This job is fucked.
Some people got to learn the hard way.
Pull down your ass
Son of a bitch!
（03 09 10 14 15）
You won’t win until you got struck 8 times by lighting
Forget about it!
The doctor said
you shouldn't even ride a bike,
What are you doing, driving a car?
Hey, don’t tell anyone that
I'm practicing with the factory car.
A precious jade stone was found
in a local handicraft factory...It's an extremely rare type of jade...
Bao
they're talking about us!
Are you nuts?
American dollars don't just
fall from the sky!
Bao! Up there!
Cable car!
Why don't you just drop dead
inside there!
Or jump to your death!
You must be looking for trouble
May your son be born with no asshole!
Gutsy! Very high-tech!
Auto pilot!
Can't you see?
Don’t touch me (BMW means don’t touch me in Chinese alphabet)
(BMW is expensive, so it also can be translated as you bump me, you weep.
Don't drive if you can't
you retard!
Hey! Mind your manners. Don't scold me!
I'm scolding you, so what?
So bloody what?
You smashed my car,so I'm scolding you.
And I'll beat you up!
San Bao!
- Help! Help!
- San Bao! San Bao!
Officer, they hit me.
They smashed my car and hit me!
You want to handle it officially
or privately?
Privately, privately.
Privately, that'll do.
This will cost at least 8,000 RMB.
The headlight alone is 5,000.
Give me the money!
Hurry up! Hurry up!
That's all I have.
I've only got 3,000 RMB.
3,000! What if you run away?
Then
Give me your license.
I'll return it once you've paid in full.
（We have a police report）
（A number of gang break-ins have taken place recently）
That's all we have for today.
（The following is a residential property surveillance camera screen）
I only have 2,000 on my credit card.
（The thieves disguised themself as movers in broad daylight）
（Carry other people's belongings out liberally）
（We hope that the general public will be more vigilant）
What are you drawing?
Think it through yet?
Think it through your ass!
All these butts don't add up
to one decent cigarette.
Besides, you don't even pay us.
Why should I bother to think about it?
Look at .
this jade
The one in the Palace Museum pales
Is not better than ours
Without Master Zhang's sharp eyes,
It’d still be in the toilet
I'm planning a big exhibition,
The jade on a podium,
a song-and-dance number.
f the show turns out successful...
The jade will sell for a great price
You're our only police academy graduate.
The future of 200 factory workers
lies in your hands
It's do or die.
You've got to hang in there!
I studied to be a detective...
Not a security guard.
You should go to an insurance company.
But the premium would cost a fortune.
I'd rather save on that
and pay the staff more.
Isn't that better?
Okay
4,800 yuan, 8 months' wages
I'll pay! I'll pay everyone!
It's a hoax!
Even a gallstone God shits out
isn't worth 18 million.
Cheap tricks!
Don't get mad. Don't get mad.
Look, I took his driver's license.
I don't care how you do it,
I want that piece of real estate.
What if that stone suddenly disappears?
Fly, baby, fly
What a consummate marksman!
A real master! So low-key, so discreet!
A tailor!
No, costume designer.
Let's get to the point: How much
100,000 US.
Should I book you a room?
A car will do.
An exhibition should be held
in an exhibition hall!
Not in a dump like this.
nondescript
This is a tourist spot.
Too many people is high-risk.
Detective work 101. Get it?
you're just a security guy
watching over a stone.
So what are you yapping about?
Detective work.
What we need is tourist business.
This way
you even save on advertising.
Yes, you save on advertising.
A rundown temple,
its doors don't even close.
How can we make this place secure?
If we were doing this
in the Great Hall of the People...
we wouldn't need you, would we?
Stop this! Stop this arguing!
We're all here for one thing.
We're here to keep our jobs.
Bao, we've so many guys
hanging around doing nothing,
Go on, put together a security team.
Dad...
Dad...
Dad...
What now?
Well! I got in an accident!
All you do is make my life difficult.
Ouch! Ouch!
Quit hitting it!
The bones are all right,
but not the muscles.
I crashed Xiao Si's car
into a wall.
Xiao Si is still in the hospital.
Another great job you've done!
Go ahead, hit me!
All you know is to hit me!
Xiao Si's still in the hospital!
Please give me some money.
You good-for-nothing!
No money! Get lost!
Xie! Xie!
Don't get so angry with your son.
Dad, it's life and death.
If he dies,
it's more than a matter of money.
Sooner or later
you'll drive me to the grave.
How much?
How about 5,000 RMB for starters?
5,000?
I'm not a money-printing machine!
That's all I have.
That's all? It's not enough.
How about the credit card?
Credit card! I'll chop your head off!
Xie, Xie!
Don't use force!
Okay, I'm going, I'm going.
He's lost his mind.
Are you done?
Romancing a girl takes money.
No money, no girl.
If you need money, ask your dad.
Tell your dad...
That you've been kidnapped.
I can't imagine he'd abandon you.
Fighting with your father - what fun!
Okay, gotta go.
I'm in a meeting.
I'll kill you! I'll kill you!
Help! Someone please help me!
I'll kill you!
Watch it, will you?
Sorry, Bro'!
Sir...
Can you tell me what it says here?
Jackpot of 50000RMB
Hey man, you won! 50,000 RMB!
Oh, I won!
How do I claim the prize?
Look here.
It says right here... Beijing!
Beijing.
Beijing.
I've never been to Beijing.
What should I do?
You can sell it to me.
I've got, let's see... 5,000 RMB.
What do you say?
Hey, comrade...
He wins fifty grand,
and you give him 5,000...
That's a rip-off.
Hey, brother...
I'll give you 10,000 for it, deal?
But it says 50,000 here.
Let's get off. I'll get you the money
I have my credit card. 20,000!
No credit card, I want cash.
I have some cash here.
5,000 RMB.
Lady, I don't have enough on me.
Let's be partners.
To buy it off
Then we claim the prize
and split it 50-50.
A whole morning's scamming
and nothing to show for it.
We're not pros at this.
It's not working.
Screw this play-acting!
Like you said before...
We could just do "snatch and run".
Screw this!
Or we go back to the moving business.
Move! Move! Move!
We'll end up moving to jail!
I still can't believe it.
Next stop...
What? Why me again?
Big Bro'.
Guess who I am? You have 3 chances.
I think you've got the wrong person.
Wrong. 2 chances left.
Mister, take your hands off me please.
Alright, but don't open your eyes!
Stick it up your lungs!
(Cantonese dialect, it’s as same as “what the fuck” in English )
Robbery in broad daylight.
Heroic police officers injured...
Young police officers lack experience.
No experience at all.
I say...
You can't be "civil and enlightened"
dealing with bad guys.
Carry a stash
of ashes with you.
When you catch him...
Throw them right in his face.
He can't escape
Bao, where should we set it up?
Facing the stage.
Do we have high voltage electricity?
Who says we need electricity?
Use your brains!
The thief who can outsmart me
has yet to be born.
I asked you for a floor plan,
Not a work of art!
Bao.
Hang it up.
Bao, it's ready.
Hey! Can we have some order here?
Okay.
Stand in line!
This thing may work for a toilet,
But as a security device,
it's somewhat lacking.
You believe that someone would really
come to steal it?
Can you open it or not?
It's professional.
I almost believed you.
Hey
Come out for fun
I don't have time,
I'm working
All you do is work.
You completely ignore me.
I'm in the middle of something.
Liar!
You promised to take me to
Hong Kong for shopping.
I already got my visa.
You women
just don't get it...
My career is poised to take off.
I can't just walk away from my work!
Liar!
Ouch~
Here. Stop all the fuss.
Such a nice briefcase.
A pity!
What a pity!
Bro', look.
Bro', look.
Awesome! 007!
Or even 008!
Hey - same line of work as us!
He came here for this.
It's so clear!
We're back in business.
Open it.
8 million
like winning two lotteries - after tax.
Here it's only worth 4,800 RMB.
I'll give you 8,400 for it.
You are totally obsessed!
Look at you. You're blind!
You almost screwed up big time.
What's the matter?
It's okay.
Nothing.
There's something wrong
with this light.
San Bao, get us that room over there.
Now that's what I call surveillance.
Zhao, take them to the room. 607
Told you, no toilets.
Look at that fancy shirt,
trying to be sexy, right?
A rookie should keep
a low profile, ya know?
Low profile.
Fashion
It's Baleno.
A famous brand. See how it stretches.
You can't tear it.
You want these skates?
Command your army from a height,
and all is within your grasp
This is called...
What?
Know thine enemy, know thyself,
and ne'er a battle lost.
I thought it's "every battle won."
Same difference.
Wireless transmission,
guarantees a clear view.
Starting tomorrow,
throughout the exhibition period...
We'll keep a 24-hour watch
Keep your eyes open
even when you're sleeping.
Ours is not a difficult trade.
But to move up,
you've gotta be intelligent.
Exactly 10 meters. Quality guaranteed.
Want a receipt?
Three tickets.
Okay
you stand here.
You, here.
Wait! Let's take some pictures first.
Wait a moment.
Only one camera.
Bro', which one is infrared?
You've seen too many movies!
Can't have so much hi-tech stuff.
Why don't we just do as I said?
Give him a hammer...
Whack it,
take the money and run.
No one can react that fast, right?
Put it down! Put it down!
Behave yourself respectably!
My name is Xie Xiaomeng.
You can call me Charles.
The nude portraiture text I wrote
for the HK Royal Art Academy.
I'm also studying some
very serious subjects.
At the moment I'm researching...
The city as mother and womb.
In fact, when I saw you...
A long-lost sensation came rushing back.
A strong creative impulse.
So, how about...
You give me your phone numbers?
What’re you doing?
I see no need for that.
（I love you my dear girl）
（I’m nervous to see you）
（the hairs flow with the wind）
（Stroking my bewitched eyes）
You don't know me.
Hang up the floor plan.
Aha! Right here.
OK
Masculine, yet impotent.
First we penetrate the periphery.
Here... here... here... here.
They're all guarded.
Here
This entrance facing the street...is always busy with people.
He's easily exposed.
What's happened to respectable behavior?
Hammering in the middle of the night!
I'll check it out.
Let it go.
A little impatience spoils great plans.
Listen to me.
This security, this...
Where was I?
Easily exposed.
Right, easily exposed.
The back wall.
This here is the weakest point.
High voltage? Easy.
You're sure there're no security guards?
I'll check it out
There's no one there anyway.
Just go ahead and make your move!
Stop wasting time.
What are you looking at?
You Peeping Tom!
.......
........
........
.........
To kill without spilling blood.
When I was creating this work.
I felt intermittently that beauty,
like a dagger...
Pierced my soul in swift flashes.
You got some nerve!
My boyfriend will kill you.
He doesn't have to kill me.
While I created it...
I expired in your embrace...
Besides
your boyfriend
is no obstacle.
If love be everlasting,
why worry about transience?
What an awful picture!
Bro', do I look like Batman?
What Batman?
You just look like a bat!
It's too tight!
Bro', these clothes don't fit you.
Stop this high-tech shit! Get lost!
Look!
Do I look like
the guy
in Counter-Strike?
Hey
Do you know...
Why they haven't
torn this old place down?
For centuries
this place was a mass grave.
When night falls,
there are all these strange noises.
Like a big army approaching;
it's so eerie.
And people've even
hanged themselves on this beam.
Are you scared?
Who's scared?
Then why'd you pinch me?
Get out of here!
Listen!
Really! Hear it?
Don't be stupid. It's a police siren.
Fire engines!
Fire engines.
Where's the fire? Let's check it out.
Why?
What's so interesting?
Hey, punks, go away! Get out of here!
Who's in charge of this temple?
Me.
Who reported a fire? Where's the fire?
Where's the fire? You tell me!
Here. Where they make kebabs.
I'm warning you,
false fire reports are illegal.
We'll investigate this incident.
Investigate! Investigate your ass!
You won't find anything.
It's only kebabs
Fire engines showing up,
that's too much.
We've arrived at 21 Dong Shan Road.
There's no sign of fire.
We request to return to base.
We request to return to base.
Fuck
Close the main door!
Block the back courtyard!
Yes sir
Split up and chase them!
Would these shoes give me smelly feet ?
Bullshit!
Be careful going down.And take this coat.
Be careful... Son of a bitch!
Ouch~
Fuck
Easy... easy.
Fire service?
The Lo han Temple's on fire!
Fire engines!
Fire engines!
Where's the fire? Let's go.
Wait!
What're you doing?
Why are you here?
What're you looking at?
What's wrong with you?
The fire engines are coming.
I just called them on cellphone.
Lord Guan...
Please answer my prayers.
If I succeed...
I'll worship
and feed you every day.
Fuck
Split up and run!
Split up and chase 'em!
Don't let 'em get away!
Search carefully!
San Bao, this way!
That way!
追
There! Over there!
Don't panic! It's me! Me!
Flashlight! Flashlight!
They won't get very far.
That way! Go!
Damn it!
Are you stupid? Over here! This way!
Bao, the switchboard was pried open,
that's all.
Weld it shut!
Where are we? Where...
Are you stupid? You want to stay there?
Don't push me!
Isn't this the temple door?
We crawled forever
and only got this far.
Wait!
Excuse me, sir.
Sir, can I borrow your ointment?
What'd you say?
Can I use a little?
That looks pretty serious!
Fought with my wife.
How about you?
Hit myself on the doorframe.
Here. Let me do it for you.
Damn it!
Well
This bathhouse is unbelievably cheap.
Why else would they install
voice-activated lights?
Thanks.
If you can't sit down
you could at least clean up
after you're done!
I'm used to this way.
Squatting's more healthy.
You mind closing the door?
Xiao Jun
What?
we've got to hurry up
and get this done.
That "professional"
has already made his first move.
What?
It's definitely in the line of fire.
Awesome!
I told you they're hi-tech!
You believe me now?
Told you I could run pretty fast.
Xiao Jun, you ran pretty fast too,
like a desperate dog!
I don't know about you...
But I was a sprinter in middle school;
100 meters in 12.5 seconds.
Come to think of it,
why am I wasting time with this stuff?
I could just take a hammer, whack it,
Take the damn thing and run.
Screw the alarm.
No one could catch me anyway, right?
You're so full of shit.
Who's in charge here? You or me?
My sword unsheathed, victories abound
.........
..........
This one's 50
this 120.
Quality fakes are 200.
（Emulated jade is cheap and affordable）
It goes through to the other side.
No!
Every fart leaves a whiff of something
But there's nothing
besides our footprints
Maybe he knows Kung Fu
Walking without footprints
You read too many books of bullshit.
Stop talking nonsense!
Criminal psychology tells us,
because of...
The "high voltage" sign,
they weren’t able to climb over it.
Forensic science shows us
the cover has been tampered with.
This is evidence.
With evidence
comes logic.
And this.
It reveals their identity.
How?
Dumb ass!
What kind of people carry such things?
They moonlight as movers by day,
and strike at night.
The punks at the door last night
were lookouts.
How dare they!
move in on us!
Only on you
Block the cover with something.
No problem, Bao.
Try
What's the matter?
What happen
Turn it off.
Sound wave alarm.
How’s it?
Highly sensitive technology.
Hey
Nice work, Bao.
The great Engineer Bao!
Bao
Hey Xiao meng
You make lots of money
each time you take a picture, right?
Well
Not much
Barely enough for a meal.
I wouldn't be here
if it was just for money.
My dad's director of the factory,
you know
He dragged me here
to take some pictures.
I studied portraiture
in Hong Kong.
Now I'm reduced to
working as a small-time reporter.
I've been forced to prostitute my art!
Nike?
Are they making camera now?
Bao, it’s not good
Can you open the lid?
There's a reflection!
No.
Nobody dare to open it without your dad’s order.
Well
- C'mon, Bao.
- What's the big deal?
Don’t
My dad's an old bureaucrat,
but we're young.
We can't do things his way.
Besides, you're right here.
Who would dare steal it?
Don't mind him
Open it
Even if I guard it myself...
The thieves just don't give up.
Go easy on the publicity
and I'll have an easier time.
Hurry up! Don't let your old man see.
Bao, hold the reflector for me.
Which way?
Towards the light
- Open it.
- Okay.
Aim it at the light.
That's right.
Sorry! Sorry!
One more.
Let's buy something.
We can't go there empty-handed.
Are you driving me crazy?
Damn! Only 5,000 RMB!
I'm not going anywhere.
That way.
If we all stick together,
we'll weather the storm.
I'll get straight to the point.
I invited you guys here
to discuss something.
It's about the temple -
I'd appreciate your help.
I've prepared some small presents
as a token of respect.
But I won't be nice to anyone who
doesn't help me out here!
Police officer
plainclothes officer, civilized law enforcement!
Sure, we'll definitely cooperate.
Today's
my birthday.
I want to give you a rare,
precious gift.
A splendid jade for a great beauty,
an expression of my feelings.
This jade represents my heart.
Flirt!
Bro', I really can't drink any more.
Damn it!
I said drink and you drink!
Now drink!
Bro
Bro
Killing's against the law.
（Give me a cup of water）
（from a sadness life）
Stop, I’m dying
Talk! Did you do it or not?
Ouch, I can't remember,
I was drunk
Now I remember!
No, I didn't!
No? You were in the same bed!
You said you didn’t do her
You think I'm an idiot?
Talk
Yes I did! I did!
So you really did her!
Ouch
God damn, you really did her!
What exactly do you see in him?
Is he better than Bro?
Or better than me?
How could you do such a thing?
Is it fair to Bro?
Fair to me?
don't touch me.
Sleeping with him is not fair to bro
But how about us? Is it fair
to the Bro that I slept with you?
Keep it down!
Yes, it's not fair to Bro.
But we're all his people,
that was "all in the family"
No harm done...
But, with him?
After all,
he's an outsider
Someone slept with my wife,
and no one's lifting a finger!
No, we're not married,
but we have
true feelings for each other.
Cuckoldry goes unpunished!
Where's the law?
And you call yourself a lawyer?
Hello?
Okay, then.
I'm taking the law in my own hands.
Bro, please forgive me!
I just hate men who cheat women.
And you used this cheap fake...
To cheat my wife!
But it's the real thing!
- It's real!
It's real! Say it again,
you son of a bitch!
It's really real!
Just take it!
First you insult my integrity,
then you insult my intelligence.
It's fake! Fake! Fake!
Fake means that you cheated my woman.
Fake means
You cheated my woman
It's real! I didn't cheat her!
Real! Real, then you cheated me!
Real, and you cheated me!
It's fake, Bro!
So, is it real or fake?
Bro, please spare me!
Tell me, real? Or fake?
Let me tell you,
it's simply a question of morality.
Fuck off
I don't know what to say about you.
The situation has changed now.
There're no good men left.
Hei Pi,
you were so right
Morality
Don't get so upset, Bro.
This fake looks so real.
You really can't tell the difference,
can you?
Fake means not real.
Let's switch them!
All we need to do is switch them, right?
Switch them.
Right.
Are you nuts? Who needs so many glasses?
That one's chipped. You have a new one?
No!
Xiao Jun, the wheel broke!
Yo
Bro
Hey, how ya doin'?
Well Let me help you.
No, it's okay.
It's alright.
You eaten?
Bro', have you eaten?
I just ate.
Wow! Why's it so heavy?
Nothing.
Just some old junk.
Since I met with those punks,
it's been pretty quiet.
Knock the mountain,
scare the tiger away, right?
Bao, this suction therapy
will really help you.
As the Ancients say,
external treatment for inner illness.
First you've gotta remove
your inner heat.
In this weather?
"Remove inner heat?"
I don't have
much inner heat left anyway.
Sooner or later you'll drive me nuts!
If you ever win the lottery...
I'll run 3 laps in my bare ass.
You believe me?
Hey, that tea's delicious!
Leave me some.
If you win 5 million,
first lend me 5,000...to get back my driver's license
Won anything?
No way.
3 numbers off!
I asked you to leave some tea for me.
Bao, the door's locked.
What
The door's locked.
It won't open.
What the?!
Let me try.
Hey hey hey
- Wait... we'll have to pay!
Hold it right there!
You! The one in black!
You have to pay for the damage.
Are you sick or what?
It's him. I saw him.
Something happened
What did you see?
Saw you with my own eyes.
Are you guys looking for trouble?
Is it looking for trouble?
So what?
Did something happen?
Forget about it
Go over to the next room
and see if it's locked
Be careful!
Punk!
Who's a punk?
Who are you calling a punk?
Insult me?
You got a problem?
Take your hands off me!
Hey you! Come, come.
This stone doesn't belong to you.
Hey
don't lean against the case.
Anybody home?
Hurry up!
Zhao, where's the key?
- Hurry up!
Wait here for Hei Pi
A vase was broken.
Only worth about 100 RMB.
How could you let him get away
in broad daylight?
That guy runs faster than a dog.
We can’t catch up with him
Bao
It's okay. Go check the place.
Bao
What’s up?
Where’s San Bao
Isn’t he staying with you in factory?
Bao, will you
Bao, are you helping me
claim my medical bills?
Three month's worth, over 500 yuan.
Soon, soon.
He's not here.
Tell San Bao, don’t come back.
He must be busy for the work in factory.
San Bao must have switched the stone.
Stop smoking! You've lost your voice!
I knew something wasn't right about him.
All he thinks about
is winning the lottery.
Why didn't I think of that myself?
Here I am "scaring the tiger",
installing surveillance stuff...
And I just let that
son of a bitch get away.
Why don't you call the police?
Call the police?
San Bao will be finished.
His family'll be finished!
His granny'll be finished!
Who do you think he'll sell it to?
I got to find that son of a bitch!
Fuck
Even if I have to go to Beijing!
Are you pushing me to death?
It's only 5,000 RMB!
I won't run away!
You don't have to do this.
Aren't you tired? At this rate
you'll drop dead in that car!
Who's that?
You guys come with me.
Turn it off.
Son of a bitch!
Last time we saw him was yesterday.
Two nights ago.
We were watching that soccer game,
remember?
Round about midnight...AC Milan vs. Inter Milan, 3 to 1
AC Milan, absolutely.
They haven't won in seven years.
The forward, Gilardino.
Saw it with my own eyes.
Not Gilardino.
Shevchenko!
Gilardino!
Shevchenko!
AC Milan.
- Don't worry.
- Shevchenko
Stick it up your lungs,
goddamn crooked salesman!
Oh, so it's you!
Long time no see!
Give it back!
This stone doesn't belong to you.
Give it back!
Spiderman!
- Hey, give it back!
- A real professional!
You want this?
No?
Then I'll put it back
Go!
Bye!
Search the place!
Think this is a public toilet?!
You can't just come and go
as you please!!
You can't even piss,
you stupid piece of shit!
Stick it up your lungs!
What's going on?
Hei Pi's out of range.
Where'd he go?
Wherever he felt like, I suppose.
Hey
what's that sound?
Are you nuts?
Do you also have prostate problems?
Nonsense!
Some professional!
Won't even answer calls!
Said he'd deliver it today.
He's really unreliable!
Be patient, alright?
Wow! Great!
"East meets West"!
Honestly
Good thing you're not a designer.
If you are
You'd run all the others
out of business.
Hello
Is this Mr. Qin Fengshou
assistant to the
Chairman of the Big Fat Group?
Who are you?
That's not important
I have what you want.
Are you interested?
This guy said
he has what we're after.
An old man.
Next time
figure things out first
before coming to me.
Fuck
What's going on?
12 minutes 26 seconds.
- 12 minutes 45 seconds.
- Stop!
Okay
What are you looking at?
Peking duck, want to try some?
Where'd you go? Where?
Where'd you go?
Stop it!
Where'd you go?
Do you know that
You goddamn ruined me!
Stop it
Maybe they wanted to
talk down the price by saying it's fake.
by saying it's fake.
Bro
I've been with you
for a long time.
You should know me well by now.
Have I ever stolen anything?
Have I ever stolen anything of yours?
Talk:
Where did you get
the stone?
I don't know.
Ouch! The exhibition hall.
How?
I bought a fake,
and then I went to take pictures.
And I switched them.
They let you take pictures,
just like that?
The... the factory manager...
he's my dad.
In other words,
you gave the real stone to Jing Jing.
And we swapped the real one
for the fake.
Right.
Son of a bitch spends real money
on chicks.
So, why did you say it's a fake?
I told you it was real,
but you hit me.
Sure I hit you...
Fucked my woman!
Switched my stone!
Bro! No use beating him up.
Let's just get the real stone back.
Get it back.
Yes, we'll get it back.
Call your daddy.
Tell him to bring us the jade
within ten hours.
For you
Or
you're a dead man.
This is new for us! Kidnapping?
We're not professionals.
Professional!
I'll show you what's professional.
I'll show you! I'll show you!
Now that you're back,
give it back
Son of bitch
Cost me 1,000 RMB to go there.
The jade!
The jade! I want the jade!
What jade
- Jade
- What jade?
Did you lose it? The jade's gone missing?
Give it back! Give it back to me!
Bao, stop it! Come, look.
Look!
It's Xie Xiaomeng!
This is actually the real stone.
That 'expert' hasn't still
made his move.
Expert! Expert! Expert! Expert! Expert!
Where the hell is that expert you hired?
We've lost contact.
You can't even handle a piece of stone!
I'm telling you...
I've put money into this thing
for two months now,
And I haven't even seen a damn brick.
If I don't get my money back,
You'll be the first to go.
I'll go find it.
- Find my ass!
Fighting's not allowed!
Now you tell him!
I'm also looking for him.
Tell me when you find him,
So I can hack him to pieces.
Why are you looking for him?
To kill him.
I just got a call from Interpol,
Mark the Master Thief
has entered the city.
They don't know what he's up to.
- Let's call a meeting.
- ok
Sit up.
Bao,
who did this to you?
Mind your own business.
Can you help me find him?
That missing guy Xie Xiaomeng,
who is he?
Son of the factory director.
His family hasn't reported it.
What's your angle here?
Will you stop asking me
all these questions!
Just tell me if you can
help me find him.
You think Hei Pi's okay?
He won't snitch on us?
He wouldn't dare!
C'mon prince,
give your daddy a call.
Hello
Dad, dad, dad
- Help me
- not this one
I've been kidnapped!
- Dad...
Say something!
He hung up.
Call again!
Cry...
cry and call him!
Cry!
Hello
Are you Xie Xiaomeng's father?
Listen,
I have Xie Xiaomeng with me here.
You bring the jade in exchange for him,
or I'll...
Kill him, right? I know.
Thank you very much.
I don't want to see him anymore.
Hello... hello...
Maybe I didn't make myself clear?
-Director Xie?
- Who's this?
This is the police station.
Someone's reported that
your son's missing.
Listen
You can stop all this play-acting.
I know every trick
in the book.
Look,
the contract doesn't take effect
for 10 more days
Xie, I know...
I know
how much that
piece of stone is worth.
Okay, look,
I'll buy that too.
What you really want is my land.
If I pay off my debt to you,
then I don't have to sell it.
You think that makes any difference?
You'll still be left with
just an empty shell.
Who says it's an empty shell?
There are 200 workers in our factory.
That's 200 mouths waiting to be fed!
If you don't feed them,
they'll turn around and devour you!
These days
you can't even
trust your own son.
Wolves eat meat, dogs eat shit.
Survival of the fittest.
Work with me...
And from this floor up,
it's all yours
Looks like you'll gobble up
my factory no matter what.
I'm not talking takeover.
I'm talking collaboration.
What kind of a father is he?
Abandoning his son!
Not even fit to be called human.
No, wait...
He thinks I'm chicken.
He looks down on me!
No, let me try again.
Let me.
Hello
Xie Xiaomeng!
Where are you?
Bao.
Bao, help me!
Listen to me very carefully...
I have Xie Xiaomeng.
Bring the jade in exchange for him.
You call the cops...
You bear the consequences!
The jade!
Tonight at 1 o'clock,
under the lamppost outside Lohan temple.
Bring the goods.
Someone will meet you.
I'm warning you:
Come alone.
Son of a bitch drank Coke!
I told you to flush the toilet!
Come back here!
Oh God, oh Buddha, have mercy on me.
Amen.
Hello
Hello... hello... Bro'!
I got stuck down in the manhole.
I can't get out.
My mobile can't get a signal,
I can't reach you.
The battery is dying, I...
I haven't eaten for several days.
Find a way to save me.
Find a way yourself!
What?
Me? What way? Bro'?
Hello... hello... hello...
What
Never seen people making out?
Sorry.
What
Never seen people making out?
Nothing
What are you afraid of?
Don't you think we're going too fast?
Too fast.
I've been waiting for so long.
Someone might see us.
What? Who?
There's someone outside.
What do you want?
Teach him a lesson!
Mister, mister...
That... I didn't do it on purpose.
You gotta vouch for me.
- Hello.
- I didn't do it on purpose.
Sir, please don't go! Sir!
（it’s a lucky day today）
Don’t go bro.
（wolf buy chicken’s treat）
（I don’t answer your phonecall）
（what for to dial the numbers）
（what for to dial the numbers）
I did it, so what?
You beat me, you nearly killed me!
Xie Xiaomeng,
was it you who took the jade?
Damn the friggin' jade!
Bao.
I'll kill you... I'll kill you...
I found it in this place.
You like the suitcase, huh?
I kill you
Xie Xiaomeng,
did you switch the jades?
Yes I did. So what? So bloody what?
I'll kill you! I'll kill you!
Stop it!
Bao, what do we do now?
Take him to the police!
Okay, go.
I'll kill you! I'll kill you
This is called... returning what?
Returning the jade
intact to its rightful owner.
Wow! We were so lucky!
We got back our jade,
and the factory will be saved.
Finally
Bao, I want to keep this.
What?
- This...
Why?
As a souvenir.
Let's go.
That guy was on his bike,
About 250 meters away from me.
I turned around,
leaped and kicked him off his bike.
He fell to the ground,
then crawled up and ran off.
Bad luck for him, though:
He got run over.
Bao, your kung fu kicks
are really lethal.
Hey,
what're you doing?
When will you pay me for the headlight?
I see
you're this factory's...
Head of Security
No wonder you've got such a hot temper!
I'll be your boss from now on.
Don't worry. I'll take good care of you.
Hold on a minute!
What do you mean by that?
Xie! Xie!
Xie Qianli!
What's the matter?
Did you sell the factory?
I'll talk to you later.
I'll notify you all.
Now Mr. Feng Hai,
President of the Big Fat Group,
will say a few words.
Thank you.
Hello everyone,
and welcome
to our friends from the media -
I'd like to make two announcements.
First: Our company has acquired
the precious jade,
The Soul of China,
for 8.5 million yuan.
a rare piece of jade
And second:
We're entering into a joint venture
with Sunrise Handicrafts...
To develop this
valuable piece of real estate.
Soon a block
of luxury service flats
will spring up from this spot!
Turn it off! Turn it off!
Bao! What do you think you're doing?
Bao
what are you doing?
Xie Qianli,
damn you, you old bastard!
What did you tell me? What did you say?
You said you were selling the stone
to save the factory.
Everyone was hoping to
get their job back.
But instead,
you sold us all down the river!
What happened to your conscience?
Move aside
I knew.
The old man would give in sooner or later
He can't slip out of our grasp.
Our grasp?
Thanks to you, a 2 million RMB deal
is now costing us 10 million
Why are you still here?
Get out of my sight!
Hello
There's been a minor mishap,
but everything's under control.
A "minor mishap"?
And you call yourself an expert?
My motto is "sincerity and trust".
Tell your boss:
I will get the job done.
I'm out of this now.
You go talk to Feng yourself.
Hello!
You've ruined my investment plans.
How dare you come to me for money?
All these years I've toiled in obscurity
I've suffered and
sweated for you,
Chairman Feng.
Please give me another chance.
Give you another chance!
I think I've spoiled you
by treating you too well
I know everything about you.
Enough to send you to jail forever.
I know you down to the mole on your ass.
You just sit tight here
and wait for the police.
A consummate marksman!
Hey!
Yes?
Don't move!
Stand up slowly,
turn around slowly.
Hello.
Stick it up your lung! Shit!
Mr. Qin is no longer with us.
I'm here to see Chairman Feng.
He has my driver's license.
Do you have an appointment?
I'm just here to give him his headlight
and get back my license!
I'm sorry,
you can't go in without an appointment.
Hey
C'mon, I give back your headlight,
you give me my license!
You must have the wrong guy.
Stop pretending!
I recognized you right away.
The earring's a dead giveaway.
You waited for me every day
outside the exhibition hall, right?
This spirit is worth learning
Brave for the good citizen bao shihong on the stage to receive the prize
Bao shihong receive the prize on stage
Bao shihong receive the prize on stage
Bao shihong
Fake one
Bao shihong
Where has he went?
Dear
slow and easy...
Run
Steal bread, run
Run to 60 m/h already.
inability to pee...
Are there other symptoms?
I'll just have a look.
Relax
God is so unfair.
I take the cable car every day,
but I've never seen you.
Maybe I've been paying
too much attention to the scenery.
What can I say? ...I'm a photographer.
My name is Xie Xiaomeng.
You can just call me Charles.
Every time I look at the city
from this angle...
I feel, so strongly,
that the city is a mother.
And we're living inside her womb.
Pervert!
I was just thinking about that when...
I looked up and saw you.
Something about you touched me deeply.
You know what it is?
Maternal spirit.
The glorious aroma of maternal spirit.
Miss Li, is this the jade tiling
we originally used?
Of course, You were prejudiced
All the men's room had to be built entirely with jade.
Bring it down, bring it all down!
Bring this stone to Master Zhang
so he can examine it.
Hurry, hurry, bring it all down!
all down!
Hey, hey
Get moving! We don't want any trouble.
Ah, Xie.
You're really something!
They haven't been paid for
eight months straight.
Now it’s still impressive!
What is it?
Chairman Feng understands
your situation.
He knows you can't pay back the loan
Seeing as you already mortgaged
the land to us,
Chairman Feng has drafted a contract,
So sign it, and we'll call it even.
I'm telling you,
Lay everyone off early,
Give them time to find a new job.
Now that would be a good deed.
Don't we still have another twenty days more?
Not a big deal.
What're you hollering about?
Bring it down!
Watch out!
My suit
Salute!
Beg me
You're so useless, really
I’ll
I’ll just nuke you!
I'm really gonna do it!
What are you looking at?
Move!
Hello.
Is that your truck?
You can't park here.
Your driver's license, please.
And your business registration?
B
They... They're in the car
Smoke?
No, thanks.
We're moving house.
If we can't park here,
Where can we park?
We really have no idea.
C'mon, give us a break.
Rules are rules, even if you're moving.
Go!
This job is fucked.
Some people got to learn the hard way.
Pull down your ass
Son of a bitch!
（03 09 10 14 15）
You won’t win until you got struck 8 times by lighting
Forget about it!
The doctor said
you shouldn't even ride a bike,
What are you doing, driving a car?
Hey, don’t tell anyone that
I'm practicing with the factory car.
A precious jade stone was found
in a local handicraft factory...It's an extremely rare type of jade...
Bao
they're talking about us!
Are you nuts?
American dollars don't just
fall from the sky!
Bao! Up there!
Cable car!
Why don't you just drop dead
inside there!
Or jump to your death!
You must be looking for trouble
May your son be born with no asshole!
Gutsy! Very high-tech!
Auto pilot!
Can't you see?
Don’t touch me (BMW means don’t touch me in Chinese alphabet)
(BMW is expensive, so it also can be translated as you bump me, you weep.
Don't drive if you can't
you retard!
Hey! Mind your manners. Don't scold me!
I'm scolding you, so what?
So bloody what?
You smashed my car,so I'm scolding you.
And I'll beat you up!
San Bao!
- Help! Help!
- San Bao! San Bao!
Officer, they hit me.
They smashed my car and hit me!
You want to handle it officially
or privately?
Privately, privately.
Privately, that'll do.
This will cost at least 8,000 RMB.
The headlight alone is 5,000.
Give me the money!
Hurry up! Hurry up!
That's all I have.
I've only got 3,000 RMB.
3,000! What if you run away?
Then
Give me your license.
I'll return it once you've paid in full.
（We have a police report）
（A number of gang break-ins have taken place recently）
That's all we have for today.
（The following is a residential property surveillance camera screen）
I only have 2,000 on my credit card.
（The thieves disguised themself as movers in broad daylight）
（Carry other people's belongings out liberally）
（We hope that the general public will be more vigilant）
What are you drawing?
Think it through yet?
Think it through your ass!
All these butts don't add up
to one decent cigarette.
Besides, you don't even pay us.
Why should I bother to think about it?
Look at .
this jade
The one in the Palace Museum pales
Is not better than ours
Without Master Zhang's sharp eyes,
It’d still be in the toilet
I'm planning a big exhibition,
The jade on a podium,
a song-and-dance number.
f the show turns out successful...
The jade will sell for a great price
You're our only police academy graduate.
The future of 200 factory workers
lies in your hands
It's do or die.
You've got to hang in there!
I studied to be a detective...
Not a security guard.
You should go to an insurance company.
But the premium would cost a fortune.
I'd rather save on that
and pay the staff more.
Isn't that better?
Okay
4,800 yuan, 8 months' wages
I'll pay! I'll pay everyone!
It's a hoax!
Even a gallstone God shits out
isn't worth 18 million.
Cheap tricks!
Don't get mad. Don't get mad.
Look, I took his driver's license.
I don't care how you do it,
I want that piece of real estate.
What if that stone suddenly disappears?
Fly, baby, fly
What a consummate marksman!
A real master! So low-key, so discreet!
A tailor!
No, costume designer.
Let's get to the point: How much
100,000 US.
Should I book you a room?
A car will do.
An exhibition should be held
in an exhibition hall!
Not in a dump like this.
nondescript
This is a tourist spot.
Too many people is high-risk.
Detective work 101. Get it?
you're just a security guy
watching over a stone.
So what are you yapping about?
Detective work.
What we need is tourist business.
This way
you even save on advertising.
Yes, you save on advertising.
A rundown temple,
its doors don't even close.
How can we make this place secure?
If we were doing this
in the Great Hall of the People...
we wouldn't need you, would we?
Stop this! Stop this arguing!
We're all here for one thing.
We're here to keep our jobs.
Bao, we've so many guys
hanging around doing nothing,
Go on, put together a security team.
Dad...
Dad...
Dad...
What now?
Well! I got in an accident!
All you do is make my life difficult.
Ouch! Ouch!
Quit hitting it!
The bones are all right,
but not the muscles.
I crashed Xiao Si's car
into a wall.
Xiao Si is still in the hospital.
Another great job you've done!
Go ahead, hit me!
All you know is to hit me!
Xiao Si's still in the hospital!
Please give me some money.
You good-for-nothing!
No money! Get lost!
Xie! Xie!
Don't get so angry with your son.
Dad, it's life and death.
If he dies,
it's more than a matter of money.
Sooner or later
you'll drive me to the grave.
How much?
How about 5,000 RMB for starters?
5,000?
I'm not a money-printing machine!
That's all I have.
That's all? It's not enough.
How about the credit card?
Credit card! I'll chop your head off!
Xie, Xie!
Don't use force!
Okay, I'm going, I'm going.
He's lost his mind.
Are you done?
Romancing a girl takes money.
No money, no girl.
If you need money, ask your dad.
Tell your dad...
That you've been kidnapped.
I can't imagine he'd abandon you.
Fighting with your father - what fun!
Okay, gotta go.
I'm in a meeting.
I'll kill you! I'll kill you!
Help! Someone please help me!
I'll kill you!
Watch it, will you?
Sorry, Bro'!
Sir...
Can you tell me what it says here?
Jackpot of 50000RMB
Hey man, you won! 50,000 RMB!
Oh, I won!
How do I claim the prize?
Look here.
It says right here... Beijing!
Beijing.
Beijing.
I've never been to Beijing.
What should I do?
You can sell it to me.
I've got, let's see... 5,000 RMB.
What do you say?
Hey, comrade...
He wins fifty grand,
and you give him 5,000...
That's a rip-off.
Hey, brother...
I'll give you 10,000 for it, deal?
But it says 50,000 here.
Let's get off. I'll get you the money
I have my credit card. 20,000!
No credit card, I want cash.
I have some cash here.
5,000 RMB.
Lady, I don't have enough on me.
Let's be partners.
To buy it off
Then we claim the prize
and split it 50-50.
A whole morning's scamming
and nothing to show for it.
We're not pros at this.
It's not working.
Screw this play-acting!
Like you said before...
We could just do "snatch and run".
Screw this!
Or we go back to the moving business.
Move! Move! Move!
We'll end up moving to jail!
I still can't believe it.
Next stop...
What? Why me again?
Big Bro'.
Guess who I am? You have 3 chances.
I think you've got the wrong person.
Wrong. 2 chances left.
Mister, take your hands off me please.
Alright, but don't open your eyes!
Stick it up your lungs!
(Cantonese dialect, it’s as same as “what the fuck” in English )
Robbery in broad daylight.
Heroic police officers injured...
Young police officers lack experience.
No experience at all.
I say...
You can't be "civil and enlightened"
dealing with bad guys.
Carry a stash
of ashes with you.
When you catch him...
Throw them right in his face.
He can't escape
Bao, where should we set it up?
Facing the stage.
Do we have high voltage electricity?
Who says we need electricity?
Use your brains!
The thief who can outsmart me
has yet to be born.
I asked you for a floor plan,
Not a work of art!
Bao.
Hang it up.
Bao, it's ready.
Hey! Can we have some order here?
Okay.
Stand in line!
This thing may work for a toilet,
But as a security device,
it's somewhat lacking.
You believe that someone would really
come to steal it?
Can you open it or not?
It's professional.
I almost believed you.
Hey
Come out for fun
I don't have time,
I'm working
All you do is work.
You completely ignore me.
I'm in the middle of something.
Liar!
You promised to take me to
Hong Kong for shopping.
I already got my visa.
You women
just don't get it...
My career is poised to take off.
I can't just walk away from my work!
Liar!
Ouch~
Here. Stop all the fuss.
Such a nice briefcase.
A pity!
What a pity!
Bro', look.
Bro', look.
Awesome! 007!
Or even 008!
Hey - same line of work as us!
He came here for this.
It's so clear!
We're back in business.
Open it.
8 million
like winning two lotteries - after tax.
Here it's only worth 4,800 RMB.
I'll give you 8,400 for it.
You are totally obsessed!
Look at you. You're blind!
You almost screwed up big time.
What's the matter?
It's okay.
Nothing.
There's something wrong
with this light.
San Bao, get us that room over there.
Now that's what I call surveillance.
Zhao, take them to the room. 607
Told you, no toilets.
Look at that fancy shirt,
trying to be sexy, right?
A rookie should keep
a low profile, ya know?
Low profile.
Fashion
It's Baleno.
A famous brand. See how it stretches.
You can't tear it.
You want these skates?
Command your army from a height,
and all is within your grasp
This is called...
What?
Know thine enemy, know thyself,
and ne'er a battle lost.
I thought it's "every battle won."
Same difference.
Wireless transmission,
guarantees a clear view.
Starting tomorrow,
throughout the exhibition period...
We'll keep a 24-hour watch
Keep your eyes open
even when you're sleeping.
Ours is not a difficult trade.
But to move up,
you've gotta be intelligent.
Exactly 10 meters. Quality guaranteed.
Want a receipt?
Three tickets.
Okay
you stand here.
You, here.
Wait! Let's take some pictures first.
Wait a moment.
Only one camera.
Bro', which one is infrared?
You've seen too many movies!
Can't have so much hi-tech stuff.
Why don't we just do as I said?
Give him a hammer...
Whack it,
take the money and run.
No one can react that fast, right?
Put it down! Put it down!
Behave yourself respectably!
My name is Xie Xiaomeng.
You can call me Charles.
The nude portraiture text I wrote
for the HK Royal Art Academy.
I'm also studying some
very serious subjects.
At the moment I'm researching...
The city as mother and womb.
In fact, when I saw you...
A long-lost sensation came rushing back.
A strong creative impulse.
So, how about...
You give me your phone numbers?
What’re you doing?
I see no need for that.
（I love you my dear girl）
（I’m nervous to see you）
（the hairs flow with the wind）
（Stroking my bewitched eyes）
You don't know me.
Hang up the floor plan.
Aha! Right here.
OK
Masculine, yet impotent.
First we penetrate the periphery.
Here... here... here... here.
They're all guarded.
Here
This entrance facing the street...is always busy with people.
He's easily exposed.
What's happened to respectable behavior?
Hammering in the middle of the night!
I'll check it out.
Let it go.
A little impatience spoils great plans.
Listen to me.
This security, this...
Where was I?
Easily exposed.
Right, easily exposed.
The back wall.
This here is the weakest point.
High voltage? Easy.
You're sure there're no security guards?
I'll check it out
There's no one there anyway.
Just go ahead and make your move!
Stop wasting time.
What are you looking at?
You Peeping Tom!
.......
........
........
.........
To kill without spilling blood.
When I was creating this work.
I felt intermittently that beauty,
like a dagger...
Pierced my soul in swift flashes.
You got some nerve!
My boyfriend will kill you.
He doesn't have to kill me.
While I created it...
I expired in your embrace...
Besides
your boyfriend
is no obstacle.
If love be everlasting,
why worry about transience?
What an awful picture!
Bro', do I look like Batman?
What Batman?
You just look like a bat!
It's too tight!
Bro', these clothes don't fit you.
Stop this high-tech shit! Get lost!
Look!
Do I look like
the guy
in Counter-Strike?
Hey
Do you know...
Why they haven't
torn this old place down?
For centuries
this place was a mass grave.
When night falls,
there are all these strange noises.
Like a big army approaching;
it's so eerie.
And people've even
hanged themselves on this beam.
Are you scared?
Who's scared?
Then why'd you pinch me?
Get out of here!
Listen!
Really! Hear it?
Don't be stupid. It's a police siren.
Fire engines!
Fire engines.
Where's the fire? Let's check it out.
Why?
What's so interesting?
Hey, punks, go away! Get out of here!
Who's in charge of this temple?
Me.
Who reported a fire? Where's the fire?
Where's the fire? You tell me!
Here. Where they make kebabs.
I'm warning you,
false fire reports are illegal.
We'll investigate this incident.
Investigate! Investigate your ass!
You won't find anything.
It's only kebabs
Fire engines showing up,
that's too much.
We've arrived at 21 Dong Shan Road.
There's no sign of fire.
We request to return to base.
We request to return to base.
Fuck
Close the main door!
Block the back courtyard!
Yes sir
Split up and chase them!
Would these shoes give me smelly feet ?
Bullshit!
Be careful going down.And take this coat.
Be careful... Son of a bitch!
Ouch~
Fuck
Easy... easy.
Fire service?
The Lo han Temple's on fire!
Fire engines!
Fire engines!
Where's the fire? Let's go.
Wait!
What're you doing?
Why are you here?
What're you looking at?
What's wrong with you?
The fire engines are coming.
I just called them on cellphone.
Lord Guan...
Please answer my prayers.
If I succeed...
I'll worship
and feed you every day.
Fuck
Split up and run!
Split up and chase 'em!
Don't let 'em get away!
Search carefully!
San Bao, this way!
That way!
追
There! Over there!
Don't panic! It's me! Me!
Flashlight! Flashlight!
They won't get very far.
That way! Go!
Damn it!
Are you stupid? Over here! This way!
Bao, the switchboard was pried open,
that's all.
Weld it shut!
Where are we? Where...
Are you stupid? You want to stay there?
Don't push me!
Isn't this the temple door?
We crawled forever
and only got this far.
Wait!
Excuse me, sir.
Sir, can I borrow your ointment?
What'd you say?
Can I use a little?
That looks pretty serious!
Fought with my wife.
How about you?
Hit myself on the doorframe.
Here. Let me do it for you.
Damn it!
Well
This bathhouse is unbelievably cheap.
Why else would they install
voice-activated lights?
Thanks.
If you can't sit down
you could at least clean up
after you're done!
I'm used to this way.
Squatting's more healthy.
You mind closing the door?
Xiao Jun
What?
we've got to hurry up
and get this done.
That "professional"
has already made his first move.
What?
It's definitely in the line of fire.
Awesome!
I told you they're hi-tech!
You believe me now?
Told you I could run pretty fast.
Xiao Jun, you ran pretty fast too,
like a desperate dog!
I don't know about you...
But I was a sprinter in middle school;
100 meters in 12.5 seconds.
Come to think of it,
why am I wasting time with this stuff?
I could just take a hammer, whack it,
Take the damn thing and run.
Screw the alarm.
No one could catch me anyway, right?
You're so full of shit.
Who's in charge here? You or me?
My sword unsheathed, victories abound
.........
..........
This one's 50
this 120.
Quality fakes are 200.
（Emulated jade is cheap and affordable）
It goes through to the other side.
No!
Every fart leaves a whiff of something
But there's nothing
besides our footprints
Maybe he knows Kung Fu
Walking without footprints
You read too many books of bullshit.
Stop talking nonsense!
Criminal psychology tells us,
because of...
The "high voltage" sign,
they weren’t able to climb over it.
Forensic science shows us
the cover has been tampered with.
This is evidence.
With evidence
comes logic.
And this.
It reveals their identity.
How?
Dumb ass!
What kind of people carry such things?
They moonlight as movers by day,
and strike at night.
The punks at the door last night
were lookouts.
How dare they!
move in on us!
Only on you
Block the cover with something.
No problem, Bao.
Try
What's the matter?
What happen
Turn it off.
Sound wave alarm.
How’s it?
Highly sensitive technology.
Hey
Nice work, Bao.
The great Engineer Bao!
Bao
Hey Xiao meng
You make lots of money
each time you take a picture, right?
Well
Not much
Barely enough for a meal.
I wouldn't be here
if it was just for money.
My dad's director of the factory,
you know
He dragged me here
to take some pictures.
I studied portraiture
in Hong Kong.
Now I'm reduced to
working as a small-time reporter.
I've been forced to prostitute my art!
Nike?
Are they making camera now?
Bao, it’s not good
Can you open the lid?
There's a reflection!
No.
Nobody dare to open it without your dad’s order.
Well
- C'mon, Bao.
- What's the big deal?
Don’t
My dad's an old bureaucrat,
but we're young.
We can't do things his way.
Besides, you're right here.
Who would dare steal it?
Don't mind him
Open it
Even if I guard it myself...
The thieves just don't give up.
Go easy on the publicity
and I'll have an easier time.
Hurry up! Don't let your old man see.
Bao, hold the reflector for me.
Which way?
Towards the light
- Open it.
- Okay.
Aim it at the light.
That's right.
Sorry! Sorry!
One more.
Let's buy something.
We can't go there empty-handed.
Are you driving me crazy?
Damn! Only 5,000 RMB!
I'm not going anywhere.
That way.
If we all stick together,
we'll weather the storm.
I'll get straight to the point.
I invited you guys here
to discuss something.
It's about the temple -
I'd appreciate your help.
I've prepared some small presents
as a token of respect.
But I won't be nice to anyone who
doesn't help me out here!
Police officer
plainclothes officer, civilized law enforcement!
Sure, we'll definitely cooperate.
Today's
my birthday.
I want to give you a rare,
precious gift.
A splendid jade for a great beauty,
an expression of my feelings.
This jade represents my heart.
Flirt!
Bro', I really can't drink any more.
Damn it!
I said drink and you drink!
Now drink!
Bro
Bro
Killing's against the law.
（Give me a cup of water）
（from a sadness life）
Stop, I’m dying
Talk! Did you do it or not?
Ouch, I can't remember,
I was drunk
Now I remember!
No, I didn't!
No? You were in the same bed!
You said you didn’t do her
You think I'm an idiot?
Talk
Yes I did! I did!
So you really did her!
Ouch
God damn, you really did her!
What exactly do you see in him?
Is he better than Bro?
Or better than me?
How could you do such a thing?
Is it fair to Bro?
Fair to me?
don't touch me.
Sleeping with him is not fair to bro
But how about us? Is it fair
to the Bro that I slept with you?
Keep it down!
Yes, it's not fair to Bro.
But we're all his people,
that was "all in the family"
No harm done...
But, with him?
After all,
he's an outsider
Someone slept with my wife,
and no one's lifting a finger!
No, we're not married,
but we have
true feelings for each other.
Cuckoldry goes unpunished!
Where's the law?
And you call yourself a lawyer?
Hello?
Okay, then.
I'm taking the law in my own hands.
Bro, please forgive me!
I just hate men who cheat women.
And you used this cheap fake...
To cheat my wife!
But it's the real thing!
- It's real!
It's real! Say it again,
you son of a bitch!
It's really real!
Just take it!
First you insult my integrity,
then you insult my intelligence.
It's fake! Fake! Fake!
Fake means that you cheated my woman.
Fake means
You cheated my woman
It's real! I didn't cheat her!
Real! Real, then you cheated me!
Real, and you cheated me!
It's fake, Bro!
So, is it real or fake?
Bro, please spare me!
Tell me, real? Or fake?
Let me tell you,
it's simply a question of morality.
Fuck off
I don't know what to say about you.
The situation has changed now.
There're no good men left.
Hei Pi,
you were so right
Morality
Don't get so upset, Bro.
This fake looks so real.
You really can't tell the difference,
can you?
Fake means not real.
Let's switch them!
All we need to do is switch them, right?
Switch them.
Right.
Are you nuts? Who needs so many glasses?
That one's chipped. You have a new one?
No!
Xiao Jun, the wheel broke!
Yo
Bro
Hey, how ya doin'?
Well Let me help you.
No, it's okay.
It's alright.
You eaten?
Bro', have you eaten?
I just ate.
Wow! Why's it so heavy?
Nothing.
Just some old junk.
Since I met with those punks,
it's been pretty quiet.
Knock the mountain,
scare the tiger away, right?
Bao, this suction therapy
will really help you.
As the Ancients say,
external treatment for inner illness.
First you've gotta remove
your inner heat.
In this weather?
"Remove inner heat?"
I don't have
much inner heat left anyway.
Sooner or later you'll drive me nuts!
If you ever win the lottery...
I'll run 3 laps in my bare ass.
You believe me?
Hey, that tea's delicious!
Leave me some.
If you win 5 million,
first lend me 5,000...to get back my driver's license
Won anything?
No way.
3 numbers off!
I asked you to leave some tea for me.
Bao, the door's locked.
What
The door's locked.
It won't open.
What the?!
Let me try.
Hey hey hey
- Wait... we'll have to pay!
Hold it right there!
You! The one in black!
You have to pay for the damage.
Are you sick or what?
It's him. I saw him.
Something happened
What did you see?
Saw you with my own eyes.
Are you guys looking for trouble?
Is it looking for trouble?
So what?
Did something happen?
Forget about it
Go over to the next room
and see if it's locked
Be careful!
Punk!
Who's a punk?
Who are you calling a punk?
Insult me?
You got a problem?
Take your hands off me!
Hey you! Come, come.
This stone doesn't belong to you.
Hey
don't lean against the case.
Anybody home?
Hurry up!
Zhao, where's the key?
- Hurry up!
Wait here for Hei Pi
A vase was broken.
Only worth about 100 RMB.
How could you let him get away
in broad daylight?
That guy runs faster than a dog.
We can’t catch up with him
Bao
It's okay. Go check the place.
Bao
What’s up?
Where’s San Bao
Isn’t he staying with you in factory?
Bao, will you
Bao, are you helping me
claim my medical bills?
Three month's worth, over 500 yuan.
Soon, soon.
He's not here.
Tell San Bao, don’t come back.
He must be busy for the work in factory.
San Bao must have switched the stone.
Stop smoking! You've lost your voice!
I knew something wasn't right about him.
All he thinks about
is winning the lottery.
Why didn't I think of that myself?
Here I am "scaring the tiger",
installing surveillance stuff...
And I just let that
son of a bitch get away.
Why don't you call the police?
Call the police?
San Bao will be finished.
His family'll be finished!
His granny'll be finished!
Who do you think he'll sell it to?
I got to find that son of a bitch!
Fuck
Even if I have to go to Beijing!
Are you pushing me to death?
It's only 5,000 RMB!
I won't run away!
You don't have to do this.
Aren't you tired? At this rate
you'll drop dead in that car!
Who's that?
You guys come with me.
Turn it off.
Son of a bitch!
Last time we saw him was yesterday.
Two nights ago.
We were watching that soccer game,
remember?
Round about midnight...AC Milan vs. Inter Milan, 3 to 1
AC Milan, absolutely.
They haven't won in seven years.
The forward, Gilardino.
Saw it with my own eyes.
Not Gilardino.
Shevchenko!
Gilardino!
Shevchenko!
AC Milan.
- Don't worry.
- Shevchenko
Stick it up your lungs,
goddamn crooked salesman!
Oh, so it's you!
Long time no see!
Give it back!
This stone doesn't belong to you.
Give it back!
Spiderman!
- Hey, give it back!
- A real professional!
You want this?
No?
Then I'll put it back
Go!
Bye!
Search the place!
Think this is a public toilet?!
You can't just come and go
as you please!!
You can't even piss,
you stupid piece of shit!
Stick it up your lungs!
What's going on?
Hei Pi's out of range.
Where'd he go?
Wherever he felt like, I suppose.
Hey
what's that sound?
Are you nuts?
Do you also have prostate problems?
Nonsense!
Some professional!
Won't even answer calls!
Said he'd deliver it today.
He's really unreliable!
Be patient, alright?
Wow! Great!
"East meets West"!
Honestly
Good thing you're not a designer.
If you are
You'd run all the others
out of business.
Hello
Is this Mr. Qin Fengshou
assistant to the
Chairman of the Big Fat Group?
Who are you?
That's not important
I have what you want.
Are you interested?
This guy said
he has what we're after.
An old man.
Next time
figure things out first
before coming to me.
Fuck
What's going on?
12 minutes 26 seconds.
- 12 minutes 45 seconds.
- Stop!
Okay
What are you looking at?
Peking duck, want to try some?
Where'd you go? Where?
Where'd you go?
Stop it!
Where'd you go?
Do you know that
You goddamn ruined me!
Stop it
Maybe they wanted to
talk down the price by saying it's fake.
by saying it's fake.
Bro
I've been with you
for a long time.
You should know me well by now.
Have I ever stolen anything?
Have I ever stolen anything of yours?
Talk:
Where did you get
the stone?
I don't know.
Ouch! The exhibition hall.
How?
I bought a fake,
and then I went to take pictures.
And I switched them.
They let you take pictures,
just like that?
The... the factory manager...
he's my dad.
In other words,
you gave the real stone to Jing Jing.
And we swapped the real one
for the fake.
Right.
Son of a bitch spends real money
on chicks.
So, why did you say it's a fake?
I told you it was real,
but you hit me.
Sure I hit you...
Fucked my woman!
Switched my stone!
Bro! No use beating him up.
Let's just get the real stone back.
Get it back.
Yes, we'll get it back.
Call your daddy.
Tell him to bring us the jade
within ten hours.
For you
Or
you're a dead man.
This is new for us! Kidnapping?
We're not professionals.
Professional!
I'll show you what's professional.
I'll show you! I'll show you!
Now that you're back,
give it back
Son of bitch
Cost me 1,000 RMB to go there.
The jade!
The jade! I want the jade!
What jade
- Jade
- What jade?
Did you lose it? The jade's gone missing?
Give it back! Give it back to me!
Bao, stop it! Come, look.
Look!
It's Xie Xiaomeng!
This is actually the real stone.
That 'expert' hasn't still
made his move.
Expert! Expert! Expert! Expert! Expert!
Where the hell is that expert you hired?
We've lost contact.
You can't even handle a piece of stone!
I'm telling you...
I've put money into this thing
for two months now,
And I haven't even seen a damn brick.
If I don't get my money back,
You'll be the first to go.
I'll go find it.
- Find my ass!
Fighting's not allowed!
Now you tell him!
I'm also looking for him.
Tell me when you find him,
So I can hack him to pieces.
Why are you looking for him?
To kill him.
I just got a call from Interpol,
Mark the Master Thief
has entered the city.
They don't know what he's up to.
- Let's call a meeting.
- ok
Sit up.
Bao,
who did this to you?
Mind your own business.
Can you help me find him?
That missing guy Xie Xiaomeng,
who is he?
Son of the factory director.
His family hasn't reported it.
What's your angle here?
Will you stop asking me
all these questions!
Just tell me if you can
help me find him.
You think Hei Pi's okay?
He won't snitch on us?
He wouldn't dare!
C'mon prince,
give your daddy a call.
Hello
Dad, dad, dad
- Help me
- not this one
I've been kidnapped!
- Dad...
Say something!
He hung up.
Call again!
Cry...
cry and call him!
Cry!
Hello
Are you Xie Xiaomeng's father?
Listen,
I have Xie Xiaomeng with me here.
You bring the jade in exchange for him,
or I'll...
Kill him, right? I know.
Thank you very much.
I don't want to see him anymore.
Hello... hello...
Maybe I didn't make myself clear?
-Director Xie?
- Who's this?
This is the police station.
Someone's reported that
your son's missing.
Listen
You can stop all this play-acting.
I know every trick
in the book.
Look,
the contract doesn't take effect
for 10 more days
Xie, I know...
I know
how much that
piece of stone is worth.
Okay, look,
I'll buy that too.
What you really want is my land.
If I pay off my debt to you,
then I don't have to sell it.
You think that makes any difference?
You'll still be left with
just an empty shell.
Who says it's an empty shell?
There are 200 workers in our factory.
That's 200 mouths waiting to be fed!
If you don't feed them,
they'll turn around and devour you!
These days
you can't even
trust your own son.
Wolves eat meat, dogs eat shit.
Survival of the fittest.
Work with me...
And from this floor up,
it's all yours
Looks like you'll gobble up
my factory no matter what.
I'm not talking takeover.
I'm talking collaboration.
What kind of a father is he?
Abandoning his son!
Not even fit to be called human.
No, wait...
He thinks I'm chicken.
He looks down on me!
No, let me try again.
Let me.
Hello
Xie Xiaomeng!
Where are you?
Bao.
Bao, help me!
Listen to me very carefully...
I have Xie Xiaomeng.
Bring the jade in exchange for him.
You call the cops...
You bear the consequences!
The jade!
Tonight at 1 o'clock,
under the lamppost outside Lohan temple.
Bring the goods.
Someone will meet you.
I'm warning you:
Come alone.
Son of a bitch drank Coke!
I told you to flush the toilet!
Come back here!
Oh God, oh Buddha, have mercy on me.
Amen.
Hello
Hello... hello... Bro'!
I got stuck down in the manhole.
I can't get out.
My mobile can't get a signal,
I can't reach you.
The battery is dying, I...
I haven't eaten for several days.
Find a way to save me.
Find a way yourself!
What?
Me? What way? Bro'?
Hello... hello... hello...
What
Never seen people making out?
Sorry.
What
Never seen people making out?
Nothing
What are you afraid of?
Don't you think we're going too fast?
Too fast.
I've been waiting for so long.
Someone might see us.
What? Who?
There's someone outside.
What do you want?
Teach him a lesson!
Mister, mister...
That... I didn't do it on purpose.
You gotta vouch for me.
- Hello.
- I didn't do it on purpose.
Sir, please don't go! Sir!
（it’s a lucky day today）
Don’t go bro.
（wolf buy chicken’s treat）
（I don’t answer your phonecall）
（what for to dial the numbers）
（what for to dial the numbers）
I did it, so what?
You beat me, you nearly killed me!
Xie Xiaomeng,
was it you who took the jade?
Damn the friggin' jade!
Bao.
I'll kill you... I'll kill you...
I found it in this place.
You like the suitcase, huh?
I kill you
Xie Xiaomeng,
did you switch the jades?
Yes I did. So what? So bloody what?
I'll kill you! I'll kill you!
Stop it!
Bao, what do we do now?
Take him to the police!
Okay, go.
I'll kill you! I'll kill you
This is called... returning what?
Returning the jade
intact to its rightful owner.
Wow! We were so lucky!
We got back our jade,
and the factory will be saved.
Finally
Bao, I want to keep this.
What?
- This...
Why?
As a souvenir.
Let's go.
That guy was on his bike,
About 250 meters away from me.
I turned around,
leaped and kicked him off his bike.
He fell to the ground,
then crawled up and ran off.
Bad luck for him, though:
He got run over.
Bao, your kung fu kicks
are really lethal.
Hey,
what're you doing?
When will you pay me for the headlight?
I see
you're this factory's...
Head of Security
No wonder you've got such a hot temper!
I'll be your boss from now on.
Don't worry. I'll take good care of you.
Hold on a minute!
What do you mean by that?
Xie! Xie!
Xie Qianli!
What's the matter?
Did you sell the factory?
I'll talk to you later.
I'll notify you all.
Now Mr. Feng Hai,
President of the Big Fat Group,
will say a few words.
Thank you.
Hello everyone,
and welcome
to our friends from the media -
I'd like to make two announcements.
First: Our company has acquired
the precious jade,
The Soul of China,
for 8.5 million yuan.
a rare piece of jade
And second:
We're entering into a joint venture
with Sunrise Handicrafts...
To develop this
valuable piece of real estate.
Soon a block
of luxury service flats
will spring up from this spot!
Turn it off! Turn it off!
Bao! What do you think you're doing?
Bao
what are you doing?
Xie Qianli,
damn you, you old bastard!
What did you tell me? What did you say?
You said you were selling the stone
to save the factory.
Everyone was hoping to
get their job back.
But instead,
you sold us all down the river!
What happened to your conscience?
Move aside
I knew.
The old man would give in sooner or later
He can't slip out of our grasp.
Our grasp?
Thanks to you, a 2 million RMB deal
is now costing us 10 million
Why are you still here?
Get out of my sight!
Hello
There's been a minor mishap,
but everything's under control.
A "minor mishap"?
And you call yourself an expert?
My motto is "sincerity and trust".
Tell your boss:
I will get the job done.
I'm out of this now.
You go talk to Feng yourself.
Hello!
You've ruined my investment plans.
How dare you come to me for money?
All these years I've toiled in obscurity
I've suffered and
sweated for you,
Chairman Feng.
Please give me another chance.
Give you another chance!
I think I've spoiled you
by treating you too well
I know everything about you.
Enough to send you to jail forever.
I know you down to the mole on your ass.
You just sit tight here
and wait for the police.
A consummate marksman!
Hey!
Yes?
Don't move!
Stand up slowly,
turn around slowly.
Hello.
Stick it up your lung! Shit!
Mr. Qin is no longer with us.
I'm here to see Chairman Feng.
He has my driver's license.
Do you have an appointment?
I'm just here to give him his headlight
and get back my license!
I'm sorry,
you can't go in without an appointment.
Hey
C'mon, I give back your headlight,
you give me my license!
You must have the wrong guy.
Stop pretending!
I recognized you right away.
The earring's a dead giveaway.
You waited for me every day
outside the exhibition hall, right?
This spirit is worth learning
Brave for the good citizen bao shihong on the stage to receive the prize
Bao shihong receive the prize on stage
Bao shihong receive the prize on stage
Bao shihong
Fake one
Bao shihong
Where has he went?
Dear
slow and easy...
Run
Steal bread, run
Run to 60 m/h already.