Convoy (1978) - full transcript

(CB radio) 'Uh, breaker 1-9.
This here's the Rubber Duck.

'Anybody got a copy on me out there?

'Come on.'

♪ Arizona, noon,
on the seventh of June

♪ When they highballed
over the pass

♪ Bulldog Mack with a can on the back
and a Jaguar haulin' ass

♪ He's ten on the floor,
strokin' bore

♪ Seat covers startin' to gain

♪ Now, beaver you're truckin'
with the Rubber Duck

♪ And I'm about
to pull the plug on your drain... ♪

(Horn blares)



(Camera shutter clicks)

- Hey!
- (Tyres screech)

Son of a bitch!

(Tyres screech)

Goddammit!

(Siren wails)

- Son of a bitch!
- (Laughs)

Log book, please.

Partner,
you got the wrong vehicle.

That gal in the XKE
passed me doing about 80,

then she slowed down to 40
to comb her hair.

Wouldn't let me past her.

I'm citing you for 11 miles over
the speed limit and reckless driving.

- Hell, that's a $100 fine.
- It surely is.



- Well, hell, it was worth it.
- What was worth it?

That gal in the XKE
doesn't have any pants on, man.

I took a look down,
and bingo, there it was.

There what was?

Didn't you hear me?
She doesn't have any pants on.

Look at her.
She's just waiting there.

No panties or anything?

Nothing.

(Camera shutter clicks)

OK.

I'm gonna let you off
with a stern warning.

- You watch yourself, you hear?
- Yes, sir!

(Siren wails)

(Tuts)

(Duck) 'Uh, breaker 1-9
with a smokey report.

'We got a bear running east
on I-4-O.

'His twenty
is about a mile marker 2-4-3.

'Anybody out there copy, over? '

(Man) '10-4, good buddy.
I surely thank you.

'What's your 20 there, guy? '

(Duck) 'Uh, we're eastbound
about the same spot.

'Where are you at? Over.'

About a mile over your shoulder.
Oh!

Oh yeah,
I got an eyeball on you.

Say, partner, that's a pretty fancy rig
you're driving, ain't it? Over.

(Man) 'That's a big 10-4, good buddy.
You got Spider Mike at your back door.

'My handle's Love Machine.

'You know why
they call me Love Machine?

'Quadraphonic sound, colour TV,

'I got a big bar
sitting right behind me.

'Now, get this, a warm-water
water bed. (Laughs)

'All the creature comforts, friend.'

Hey, Love Machine, you ain't
hauling Go-Go Girls, are you?

Yeah, dude.
That's just what he's hauling.

And they're closing up
my sinuses, too.

I hope you got the wherefore
to back up that kind of lip.

'How about it? '

Now, just simmer down, boy,
back her on down.

'Don't you recognise who this is?
Come back.'

Negatory. Who this is?

This is the Duck,
you old bandit.

(Love Machine) 'Oh!
Goddamn, Spider Mike,

'it's Rubber Duck
from Albuquerque.

'We got us the best front door
in this cotton-pickin' business.'

(Spider Mike)
'Hey, look here, Duck.'

I hear more stories about you
than Jesse James.

(Duck) 'Hello, Mike.

'I guess you know you're running
with a real desperado this time.

'There ain't nobody more dedicated to
the single-minded pursuit of cheap thrills

'than that old Love Machine,
but he does move it. Over.'

- (Laughs)
- (Spider Mike) Hey, Duck.

What do you say we change his handle
from Love Machine to Pig Pen this trip?

Hey, sonny boy, it took me a lot
of hard money to get that handle.

Hey, man, I don't care
how long it took you, Pig Pen.

'All I know is that the paint is peeling
off my cab and my fan don't work,

'so I'm gonna have to
take the rocking chair.'

Yeah, yeah, OK. Come on, charge
ahead, because I'm not movin' out.

'Go on by.'

(Man) 'Uh, breaker 1-9,
breaker 1-9.

'Uh, this is the Cotton Mouth
to the Rubber Duck.'

(Duck) 'Roger, Cotton Mouth,
I got a copy on you.

'Uh, I'm at 3-4-3,
needing a bear report. Come on.'

(Lyle) 'There ain't a bear in sight.
She's all clean and green.

'Bring it on up.'

(Duck) 'Well, front door,
Cotton Mouth,

'it looks like you got me and two others
in your rocking chair here, come on.'

(Lyle) 'Ah, 10-4,
that's definitely my pleasure.'

(Spider Mike) 'Breaker, breaker,
the smell is getting intense back here.'

(Lyle) 'Uh, who is this?
Come on back.'

(Love Machine) 'This is
the handsome Love Machine over here,

'riding the fastest Mack machine
this slab ever eye-balled.'

That's all well and good,
but from what I hear

- Bulldog's is pussy!
- What?

(Love Machine) 'Is he talking to me
with that pussy... pussy thing?

'Hey! I'm gonna grab
that alligator head of yours.

'This here Big Mack can take anything,
any GMC on the road.

'I'm gonna bite the ass
outta that raggedy trailer.'

Well, you ain't about
to get me behind you, Pig Pen.

(Engine roars)

Back 'em down. We got a bear
in a plain brown wrapper!

Son of a bitch!

Goddammit!

(Lyle) Nice day!

Screwin' it down a bit,
weren't you, boys?

Jesus Christ!

Hello, RD!

Boys, this is the Papa Bear.

- Been a long time.
- It's been six years.

Yeah.

Six years.

I should have known that'd be you
on the other end of that two-way.

- What two-way?
- The CB, Cotton Mouth.

Couldn't have been me.
I ain't got no CB.

Besides, I don't believe
in police entrapment. Come on.

Cotton Mouth ain't a snake.

Son of a bitch!
Beached belly whale, you.

Now, I could write you up
for doing 75. (Chuckles)

But, uh... just for the sake of agreement
and old times,

let's just say you were doing,
uh... 70?

- Which could come to about, uh...
- (Spider Mike)... about 35.

Plus the insurance
goes up another 100.

Might be just a bit more than that.

For Christ's sake, Lyle, come on!

Now, if you boys
wanna take your chances in court,

hell, I got me a real nice jail.

I'll impound your rigs, all safe and sound,
and they'll just sit there.

- How much is it, Lyle?
- 50.

Each.

You rummy bastard!

60.

Hey, take it easy.
This ain't an auction, man.

Who gives a shit?
I make more than him anyway.

(Spider Mike) Well, it wipes me out.
I can't even eat.

I'm doing my job,
keeping my part of the highway safe.

Yeah, well, you keep it safe
in a ditch somewhere, feeding flies.

- 70!
- My ass!

Hey, cool it!

I can't call on
any more of them raises, y'all.

Let's get outta here
before he takes something else.

Easy come, easy go.

Hey, Lyle, you gonna be one of us
pretty soon, you know.

- How's that?
- Ain't you heard?

The Teamsters
are gonna be organising the cops.

Not this one. I don't want no part
of your damn union.

They ain't my damn union, Lyle.
I'm independent, remember?

At least we got
one thing in common.

Two.

There ain't many of us left.

(Horn blares)

(Love Machine) That's some
fun-loving bear you got there.

Where the hell
you meet this guy?

(Duck) Uh, we go all the way back.

Lyle gave me my first ticket -
and fully intends to be writing my last.

(Spider Mike) 'One kick
in the huevos rancheros

'and I'd have turned him
into an omelette.'

(Duck) 'Hey, y'all think
you can stay outta trouble

'long enough
to get something to eat? '

(Love Machine) 'Yeah, let's go and eat.
I don't feel like driving right now.'

(Spider Mike)
'You have to buy me lunch, Pig Pen.'

(Duck) 'Breaker 1-9 to Raphael's Glide Inn,
this here's the Duck.'

- Raphael's Glide Inn.
- (Duck) 'Howdy, honey.'

(Violet) Why is all this
stuff on the table?

We havin' a garage
sale or something?

(Melissa) I'm just trying to get it all
into one bag, as I plan to travel light.

Oh! She sellin' this stuff?

No, honey, she's a bird of plumage.
She's giving away her feathers.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

- (Duck) Tell Violet I'm coming in.
- 10-4.

- $3 and a salad.
- (Both laugh)

Hey, Violet!

The Duck is on his way.

Woo, my birthday boy is coming.

Now, there's a ride for you.

If my cab doesn't show up,
I'll sure think about it.

- 2,000. I'm sorry it couldn't be more.
- I wouldn't. He's a lotta trouble.

But that thing out there
needs a total rewire.

- This is gorgeous.
- Here, you should have this.

- (Melissa) It'll be great with your hair.
- (Mechanic) I gotta buy foreign parts...

Listen, I wouldn't
give this away if I was you.

Here you go, miss.
I'm taking a hell of a beating.

Oh, sure you are(!)

Don't you wanna see my ID,
my driver's licence or nothing?

Blow, baby.

(Playing on jukebox) "Lucille"
by Kenny Rogers

OK, we're down to this.
Who wants it?

I'll take it.

How much?

- $5.
- Ten.

- 12.
- 15.

Are you kidding?

- Fight over it.
- (Chuckling)

Hey, Duck.

How's it, Jack?

- Fine.
- Fill her up, will you?

I heard that.

(Black Widow) This won't fit you.

You know that red thing you wanted?
That'd look much better on you.

No man, this will swallow you up.

Well, that's the style.

Hi, Duck!

Good.
Fill her up, Thelma.

Hi. Can I help you?

Look here!

Mmm...

Sugar. Mmm...

- Did you miss me?
- I sure did.

- Ouch!
- Mmm...

- Take it someplace else, you know?
- See what you made me do?

How's my black widow?

Oh, I'm still a widow,
but I cannot complain.

- What's going on here?
- Oh, Melissa, this is the Duck.

She needs a ride.

- What happened to the XKE?
- I sold it.

How do you two know each other?

This is the guy I told you about.

The one that told the cop
that I was nude driving.

- Oh, I should've known.
- He get you?

Well, after his proposition,
I sent him to the motel of his choice

where I think he's probably
still waiting for me.

(Laughing)

- Did you ever ride in a truck?
- No.

Do you want to?

Maybe.

Come on, honey, I got a little
birthday surprise for you.

I bet you do.
Don't you leave without me.

- You ain't mad at me, are you?
- Me mad at you?

- Watch me.
- Watch how I handle this.

Come on.

- That's my ride?
- That's it, honey.

Come on, baby,
don't be like that.

You know
my heart belongs to you, Violet.

Oh, yeah, sure,
for about one hot second.

Hey, well,
that's not my fault, is it now?

When are you gonna get rid
of that sorry old man of yours?

He's not so sorry. He's just had
a little hard luck, that's all.

Yeah, and I'm looking
at the very worst part of it, ain't I?

(Chuckles)

- My handle's Love Machine.
- (Spider Mike) No! Uh-uh!

Miss, his name is Pig Pen.

That's temporary.

No, you just wait right there.
I'll let you know when you can come in.

I hear you're looking for a ride,
a nice lady like you.

She already has one with the Duck.

Thank you, anyway.

I'll take your bags to the truck then.

Oh, Pig Pen, uh...
excuse me, Love Machine.

Just, it's his birthday, honey.
Give him a break.

- Come on, let's go have that salad.
- Allow me.

Thank you.

- I think she likes me.
- Yeah, it's obvious, man(!)

(Violet) OK, it's ready.
You can come in now.

Help me unwrap the present?

What am I supposed to do?

Hey, Pig Pen, look outside, man.

What do you think
that fat slob is up to?

Checking plates, I imagine.

Ooh, come here. Watch what I do here.
Hey, Mike, come here.

- Man, I'm always game for some fun.
- What is he doing?

Mmm, never mess with a cop.

How did you know
it was my birthday, anyway?

I know a lot of things about you.

- You do, huh?
- Mm-hmm.

(Love Machine)
'Breaker, can you hear me? '

Anybody? Over.
Say yeah.

(Spider Mike) 'Yeah, I hear you.'

'There's a cop cruising along,
checking plates.'

You know who that damn bear is?
That's dirty Lyle.

'Ain't he a heavy mother, though? '

'Hey man, Boulder Belly isn't heavy.

'Boulder Belly is fat.
There's a big difference.'

Watch when he gets outta the car
and starts bouncing around.

Looks like a beach ball a little bit.
Turkey face.

'He bounces like a quasi-beaver.'

(Spider Mike) 'I'll be damned.
I should have known.

'That's probably why
he stoops so low to get cash.

'He's saving
for one of those sex operations.'

(Crockery rattling)

Hey, here he comes, guys.

(Love Machine) 'Very nice talkin' to you,
good buddy.'

- 'My pleasure.'
- 'Over and out.'

(Horn blares)

Here.

(Sniffles)

Hey, Duck.

Duck!

Where's the Duck?

What Duck?

(Chuckles)

(Black Widow) Duck!

'We got Lyle in here,
man, and uh... '

and he's got pain
written all over his face.

Pig Pen. (Chuckles)

How much cash
you got in your pocket?

I still got enough, thank you.

Duck, I don't know what you're doing,
but you'd better get your ass in here.

Hey, baby, I'm sorry.

I gotta go.

Hey, boy.

- (Lyle) 'How are you fixed? '
- Son of a bitch!

Sorry, man,
but I don't have nothing.

- You know that.
- Mmm-hmm. (Chuckles)

Well, in that case then,
young fella,

I'm just gonna have to
arrest you for vagrancy.

Stand up
and lean against that counter.

(Shouts) I said stand up!

- You heard me. Get up!
- (Duck) Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Thanks, friends. You all sure know
how to mess up a birthday party, man.

It's late now, so let's just be
getting out of here. You too, darling.

Go get your things.
I'm so sorry about...

Hold it! Hold it!

Hey, come on, man.
They ain't breaking no law.

What's the matter?

Your boy is going crazy, man.

He's trying to bust me
on some bullshit vagrancy charge.

- And I'm not going to no goddamn jail.
- Oh?

My old lady's having a baby, man.
I gotta get home.

- Oh...
- It's the truth, Lyle.

She's over nine months gone, man,
and she's about to drop.

Anybody know who the father is?

Now, get over there.

(Spider Mike) You fat bastard!

Let me go! I want to take that!

You, son of a...

Dammit!

Well, you blew Arizona.

You all better get to your trucks.

Yeah, you, too.

Yeah.

(Cop) All right, freeze!

We got real trouble now, man.

Stand aside.

- I waited for you.
- My car broke down.

Excuse me, please.

- Get back!
- Hey!

- Hey!
- Oooh!

Wait.

(Grunting)

Ooooh!

Runyon!

(Moaning)
Ooooh!

Did you see that?

Put it on their bill.

Let's break this up!

I just redecorated last month.

- (Indistinct chatter)
- Come on, get him!

Hit him! Hit him!

I don't have to work
under these circumstances.

I own the place!

(Pig Pen) Get those kids out of here!
Come on!

- Hey, Widow, you OK?
- I'll make it.

- Get him, Pack.
- I'll get him when I'm ready, White!

(Spider Mike) You overgrown
son of a bitch! I'll beat your ass!

Now, Pack, bust him!

Damn you! Get back!

Ow!

Get him!

I got him, Pack!

I'll eat your ears off,
you big son of a bitch!

- Come on.
- That ain't no cop.

- That's a mule wearing a uniform.
- Hell of a fight, Duck.

(Panting) Thanks.

Gimme a hand here. Come on, Pack,
don't waste no time.

Come on, let's hit it.
Let's go!

Kick the sucker in. Go on! Get it!
You can do it, Pig Pen!

Hey, Bobby! You'd do better
yankin' the wires on that thing.

All right! Let's get the other wires.

Open up, that.

- Pull them suckers out!
- Get them plug wires.

Come on! Tear 'em out.

(Grunting)
They ain't going nowhere in this one!

- (Black Widow) Hey, come on, man!
- Get that distributor outta there.

Get the whole damn mess.
Let's take it all with us.

Let's get it all. Let's go.

- Where you goin'?
- State line.

Yeah, why the hell not?

- We goin' with 'em?
- Let's go.

- Let's go!
- (Cheering)

Let's get the hell out of here!

Let's go! Move 'em out!

Happy birthday.

Take care.

(Engines revving)

(Horns honking)

(Lyle) Don't just stand here like a bunch
of dummies! See if you can find my gun!

- If I get you out on the road...
- (Violet) Here it is!

(Lyle) "Here it is!" Bring it over here!

Jesus Christ!

Where the Hell have you been? Come on!
Help me get the hell out of here!

See if you can get a hacksaw, anything!
You son of a b...

(Waitress) I got it - a nail file!

Uh? A nail file? Well, you know
what you can do with your nail file!

(Gun shot)

Oh wait, wait!

Wait!

(Grunting)

- I'll talk to you later.
- OK.

- Hey, come on!
- Get out of here, you dumb...

Any one of you jerks got a car?
You got any keys?

Don't just stand there!
Come on, will ya?

Hey!

Hey, hold it, will ya?

- Let's get rid of that stuff!
- Hey, I need your car!

I'm commandeering your car.

Hey kid I'm sorry, I'm...
What are you doing?

- Nothing, officer.
- What do you mean, "nothing"?

What's that you got in your mouth?
What are you kids chewing on?

Get the hell out of there!
Get the hell out of here!

Get out of here!

Go on, get out of there!

Get the hell out of here!

I'll be back after your ass!
(Engine starting)

(Engine revving)

(Pig Pen) 'Breaker, breaker.
How's that nose of yours, Duck?

'It sure was pushing
that cop around.'

Yeah, I got a kind of slow start there.
I don't think it's broke, though.

(Spider Mike) 'Hey, Duck, we was
just getting wound up, weren't we? '

(Duck) 'We were just fixin'
to bother him to death,

'till the Widow Woman
kicked his lights out.'

You'd better move your ass.
(Laughing)

How we travellin', Duck?

'We're gonna get a certain amount
of attention real soon.'

(Duck) 'Remember that old road
we used to use

'when we was working with Sharkey?

'There's just about room enough
on it for us, man.

'I think it'll give us a clean shot
to the state line.'

You got the White Rat here.
I think ol' Pack can handle that.

- 'All right, Duck. 10-4.'
- 'You got the Lizard Tongue here.

- 'Who have we got with us? '
- 'Old Iguana here!

'I'm a lecherous old lizard
with love on my mind! '

(Melissa) I'm supposed to catch a plane
to Dallas.

- To do what?
- To photograph a wedding.

Well, you're not gonna be catching
no plane for a while.

(Lyle) Hey!
(Honking horn)

Come on! Get out of there, will you?
Come on!

Hey!
Where's your turning signal?

(Honking horn) Where's your turn?
Get the hell out of the way!

You dumb...

Give me something to wipe
this shit off my face, will you?

You want some coffee?

Fuck.

(Horn blaring)

Good, cos we ain't got any, I forgot it.

(Engine revving)

'We're coming up
on a hard left here.'

We'll be going through
a four-way intersection.

OK.
(Honking horn)

(Horns blaring)

(Tyre blows)

Let's get her out of there!

- You all right, baby? Got your key off?
- I don't know, man!

(Duck) Jesus.

- Is she all right?
- Let me go and see.

Just get my stuff, please.

- You OK, miss?
- Yeah, I'm OK, I think.

Goddam piece of white junk!

I knew I should have bought myself
a black truck!

Well, come on, let's haul ass!

(Black Widow)
Y'all just got yourself a passenger!

(Duck) 'Hey Widow, you all right? '

'Yeah, I'm fine.
I got a bruised butt'

and a black eye, but I'm OK.

(Horn blaring)

Oh! Holy jumpin'...

That's one! That's one!

Ah-ah! That's one!

It's that crazy cop from Natosha.

(Tyres screeching)

Hey, get me one of those T-shirts,
will you?

Aaaah!

- Oooh!
- Watch it!

(Chickens clucking)

(Moaning)

(Pack Rat) Holy Christ!
I swear that was Lyle Wallace!

Lyle?

Uh, Rubber Duck here.
Is that you back there, Lyle?

You got your ears on, good buddy?

(Coughing) I hear you.

Are you OK?
You need a meat wagon or somethin'?

(Panting)

You'll need somethin' else,
you son of a bitch,

once I get my hands on you!

Hey, until you get a little better control
over that machinery,

'I'd suggest you lay off them acrobatics.'

Yeah, well, listen, I'm gonna have
the State Police in on this.

And when we do, we're gonna lunch
on your ass, you son of a bitch!

'Hey, I'm sorry, Lyle. You're coming in
real broken and garbled.'

Uh, besides that,
you gotta catch us first, right?

Ten years.

I figure it at ten years, with a little
time off for good behaviour.

This is Lyle Wallace,
Natosha County Sheriff's Office.

Need assistance.

(Siren blares)
'I'm down by the old farmhouse on 109.'

Amen.

Well, I think I've had about enough
of this, thank you very much.

I think I'll just take my things
and get out.

If you wanna pull over, I'm sure
I can hitch a ride very easily.

OK, I'm ready.

Weren't you listening to me?
I said I'm ready to get out!

You want out?

We're being chased.
If you want out, jump!

Do you want to add the Mann Act
to your collection?

Mann Act's for 18-year-olds.

Not... someone who's seen
the best side of 30.

(Sirens blaring)

(Tyres screeching)

(Groans)

My name is Bob Bookman, sir,
and I hate truckers.

Lyle Wallace, Sheriff's Office,
Natosha County.

Ah, get your hands off me!

It's around here somewhere.
It's an old back way into New Mexico.

By God, here we are.
Get ready for a hard turn.

(Sirens and horns)

(Laughing)

(Pack Rat) This ain't no damn road.
It's a trail!

(White Rat)
Hell, it ain't even that.

(Black Widow) Would you
do me a favour?

(Choking) Would you roll up
that window, man?

- The window's broke!
- Shit.

(Melissa) I get it.
An invisible escape route.

They'll never catch us now(!)

Exactly.

Now, here's the plan.

When we get up to the pass,
we'll put on our fish costumes.

I'll hand out the Vaseline and an extra
ration of rum for the men.

That should do it.

There they are.

Lead car! Lead car!

'Take that dirt road
off to your right! '

- God! Look at all this dust!
- Roll your window up, dummy!

Hey, uh, this is the Duck to the Pig Pen.
You all still with us back there?

'My water bed is sloshin' around
like it's gonna break.'

Hasn't had this much action since
I caught those twins in Carlsbad.

I'm just followin' your smell, Pig Pen.

- Watch your turn!
- (Black Widow) Oooh!

Jesus Christ! Why don't you watch
what you're doing?

(Pack Rat) Shut up
or you drive the son of a bitch.

(Laughing)

Tell him to get on
one side or the other.

(Bookman) 'Lead car, get on
one side of the road or the other.'

Well now, what's he stopped for?

(Coughing)
Dammit!

Well, we can't wait now.

Watch it!

(White Rat) You're gonna turn
this damn thing over!

(Pack Rat) Shut up!

There's no point in gettin' mad, OK?

- I ain't mad, I'm scared to death!
- (Laughing) I know.

I got 'em, Chief! I got 'em!

(Screaming) Jesus Christ!

- What happened to him?
- I don't know.

He's pulled off here
for some reason or another.

Them cops ain't up to par today
on their drivin'.

One just went over the side.

There's some in bad trouble, Duck.

'They're falling all over the road
over here.

(♪ Waltz)

(♪ Waltz continues)

Feels good, I tell you that!

Ooooh!

(Siren blares)

'Breaker, this is Spider Mike
at the back door.

'Got us a smokey comin' up fast.

'I'm gonna see if I can't
slow him down a taste.'

(Siren blaring)

(Love Machine) 'Hey, I see him
to your left. Watch out! '

'Atta boy.

(Siren blaring)

(Honking horns/tyres screeching)

You lousy son of a b...

Well, Pig Pen, I think he deserves
a break today, what do you say?

Why don't we just, uh... let him
on through, don't ya know?

Hey, that's a big 10-4.

(Siren blaring)

Aaah!

Ah, smartening up, huh?

(Love Machine) 'How about we close
this door? I'm gettin' a draught! '

(Bookman) Go back!

Jesus Christ! Looks like
they're making a sandwich

outta the sheriff back there.

Goddammit!

- (Bookman) Unhook us!
- (Lyle) I can't, we're hooked up!

You must have a bear trap, Pig Pen,
cos you sure have caught one!

- Get down! Get down!
- Shut up, will you?

(Love Machine)
Hey, think I'll try it again.

- God, you bastards!
- Get us away from here!

I think you boys have been practising.

- (Lyle) Aw, come on!
- (Love Machine) Give it to him!

They're tryin' to kill us!

- Oh, shit!
- Oh, noooo!

We're falling apart!
(Metal grinds and grates)

They're trying to kill us!

(Screaming)

(Lyle) Get over, you son of a bitch!

(Bookman)
Oh my God! We're hooked again!

(Siren blaring)

(Siren fading out)

(Bookman)
Oh, good work, Sheriff.

(Laughing)

No more Smokey!

(Exhausted) 'This is Sheriff
Lyle Wallace... '

calling the Sheriff of Natchez.

'Do you read me? '

Uh, this is Chief Stacy Love,
of Agua Dulce, New Mexico.

I got a copy on you.

'I'm on Highway 109.

'I'm on the trail of a convoy
of runaway truckers.

'And they're being led by a man
called Rubber Duck.

'I suspect that they'll be crossing
your state line pretty quick.'

Uh, thank you, sir.

'We'll give you any help we can.'

(Panting) Uh... We'd appreciate it...
if you'd send a car...

...and, a...

(Sniffing)

...new pair of pants.

(Stacy Love) 'Attention all units.
Attention all units.

'This is Chief Stacy Love.
Come back, please.'

New Mexico, here we come!

(Singing) I love you!

(Chuckling)

(Honking horn)

(Melissa) New Mexico?
I'm supposed to be in Texas!

(Horn honking)

Hey, do that again.
That wasn't half bad.

(Honking horn)
Woo! New Mexico!

'Breaker, breaker.'

This is Love Machine.
Lookin' at them rigs up on the hill.

Uh, ten, Roger, we got you.
Come on.

- What ya doin' up there, fellas? Over.
- We're waiting for you guys.

We've been listening to you modulatin'
for the last half hour,

and we're hep
to what's all gone down.

'We wanna give you some congratulations,
especially the Rubber Duck,

'for a job well done,
don't you know? '

Boy, we're famous now!

Hey, we thank you very much, fellas.

(Big Nasty) '10-4.
If it'd be all right with you guys,

'the Bald Eagle, Sneaky Snake,'

and this here is Big Nasty,

we'd be right proud to be part
of your little old convoy! Come on.

Sure, why not?
Just slip in the back door, fellas.

(Laughing) 'Oh, we sure do
thank you all

'and we all'd be proud to take a back door
to the Rubber Duck.'

(Man) 'Hey, don't forget about us!
Hallelujah! '

(Big Nasty) 'Looks like we've got some
long-haired friends of Jesus there.'

'Hallelujah! '

'That's a big 10-4. You got
the Reverend Joshua Duncan Sloane,

'Church of the Wayfaring Stranger here.

'I don't read nothin'
in scripture that says,

"'Thou shalt not put the pedal
to the metal!"'

Welcome aboard there, Reverend.

We could sure use
some spiritual help here.

(Duck) 'Think you can handle it? '

Oh, it's a pleasure. Our pleasure.

We're just trying to do a good job
there, Brother Rubber.

Brother Rubber?

(Chuckling) What IS that guy's name?
He ain't no reverend.

(Melissa) Why do they call you
the Duck?

Cos it rhymes with "luck".

Naw, my Daddy always told me
I oughta be just like a duck.

He said, "Stay smooth on the surface
and paddle like the devil underneath."

- What ya lookin' for?
- I thought I'd have a beer.

- Do you want one?
- No, thanks. I'm trying to quit.

But you can get me one of those T-shirts
that's on the dresser back there.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

You're welcome.

A couple of years ago, I was living
with a man I didn't like very much.

He talked me into doing something
I really didn't want to do.

- (Guard) Stop!
- Hang gliding.

(Guard) Damn!

Speak up, honey.

Hang gliding - but I tried it.

And you know what?
I was right, I hated it.

50 trucks.
A whole convoy of trucks bustin'.

They're runnin' like there wasn't...

- (Sloane) 'We're crossing to Jordan! '
- (Followers) 'Amen! '

Thank God, it worked.

- How about the boyfriend?
- Hm, that didn't work.

- (Duck) Any kids?
- (Melissa) Uh-uh.

I was married. I got a couple of kids
livin' up in Spokane.

- Do you ever get to see them?
- When I can.

They're OK. They got a good mama.

'You got room for one Septic Sam,
the sewer man? '

'You got the Pack Rat and the
White Rat here, and welcome aboard.'

'You dump it, we pump it.'

(Black Widow) 'Just remember, we keep
pigs, cesspools and foul odours

'all the way at the back! '

(Iguana) 'Well, howdy, boys.
Welcome to the convoy.'

That's right. Pull her on in there.

♪ New Mexico

♪ I-40
like a rattlesnake on glass

♪ Ten tonnes of pedal
on red-hot metal

♪ And Jesus freaks on grass

♪ We was goin' for broke
in a cloud of smoke

♪ With a thousand screaming trucks

♪ Sayin', "Praise the Lord
and "Shut the back door"

♪ And follow that Rubber Duck
10-4 ♪

(Man) 'Y'all got
the Mississippi Flash here.

'And I'm here to tell you
the only things in life that count

'are fast trucks,
fast women and fast food! '

(Black Widow)
Do you how big this thing is?

- How big?
- Just look out there, man!

(Love Machine) Hey Duck!
I swear we got a goddamn convoy!

Look at us, you crazy things!
(Laughing)

(Melissa) That's incredible!
Where are they all coming from?

Everywhere.

(Melissa) I can't believe it. Why?

Don't ask me, ask them.
I'm running for my life, myself!

Yeah, but they're all following you.

No, they ain't. I'm just in front.

♪ By the time they found

♪ Old Stacy's town
those trucks was havin' a ball

♪ There's a watch-out sign
at the county line

♪ And them bears was wall-to-wall

♪ They even had a bear in the air

♪ Come on ♪

Hey, Duck!
There's a bear in the air.

(Man) 'Attention, all trucks! '

All trucks, attention!

This is Federal Agent Hamilton!

'I am ordering you to stop
your vehicles immediately!

'You are travelling
in violation of federal law.'

Attention, driver Martin Penwald.

- Martin?
- Penwald?

(Laughing)
It does sound kinda funny, doesn't it?

You are under arrest!

Stop your vehicle immediately!

I don't believe this!
What is going on!

(Lyle) 'You're doing it
all wrong, Hamilton!

All you gotta say is,

"Rubber Duck.
Do you copy me, Rubber Duck?"

Rubber Duck?

That's his CB handle!

He won't answer to anything else!

Attention, Mr Rubber Duck.

'Stop your vehicle immediately!
You are under arrest! '

(Hamilton)
Obviously, they can't hear me!

(FBI man) They can hear you, sir!

I checked this equipment out
before we took off.

This in an integrated system.

It's comprised of
a phase lock loop and crystal.

Now, we know that they're on
channel 19 of the frequency below us...

- Let's go! C'mon!
...the binary encoded decimal switch.

That's like a computerised system
that scans...

(Policeman)
Back up there into position. Move it!

OK, they're ready!

Hello, Sheriff Lyle Wallace.
We're down here, ready and waiting!

Did you press the button, sir?

(Radio crackles)

They got a language all their own.

Well, then, you try it.

Uh, breaker 1-9. Breaker 1-9.

This is the Bear. In the air.

Officer Lyle Wallace,

calling Rubber Jerk,
and that rattlin' piece

of black crap at your side door. Come on!

Please don't be using
that kinda language on the air, Lyle.

'Especially don't be using it in regard to
my beautiful black truck. Over.'

That THING you call a truck

'is the worst pile of garbage

'I ever had the misfortune
of writin' a citation on! '

And, uh... Martin?

'You'd better take a look
up the road there, fella.

'Cos we got us a roadblock
with 20 armed men! '

OK, men, get ready
cos they're coming!

(Lyle)
'And they all got orders

'to shoot you

'and that rattlin' piece of crap

'full of holes, unless you pull over.
You hear? Come on! '

(Duck)
'OK, Lyle, I'll tell you what to do!

'You go up there and stand personally
on that roadblock of yours.

'But before you do,
take a good look

at the signs on my trailer.

Says "chemicals"!
That's explosives, Lyle!

'Nitromannite. Class B explosives.

'I don't know what that'll do,

'but I wouldn't wanna be in the immediate
vicinity when we make contact

'with your damn roadblock.'

Are you serious?
You must be out of your mind!

Now, why wasn't I told
he was carrying explosives?

He's just bluffing!

Sir, it's confirmed in this report here,

that he's carrying 10,000 gallons
of nitromannite.

That is a class B explosive, sir.

Chief, the front truck
is carrying explosives.

Explosives!

This is official now. I want to speak to
who's in charge down there.

Give me the man in charge.

Get off the road! Get 'em off the road!

(Hamilton) 'There's gonna be a terrible
explosion down there. Yes, I mean it!

'Now get back to me!
Immediately! Get back! '

Are you gone?
Are you deaf down there?

He's carrying explosives! Get those
cars outta there! Move 'em out!

(Hamilton) 'Will somebody, uh, get back
to me? Come back to me, Chief! '

'Is there anyone down there
who can answer me? '

Wait a second.
Uh, my mother wants to talk to you.

Get your asses out of there, now!

Where are those goddam keys?

The steering's locked!

They're gonna run us over!
Get outta there!

Let's get outta here!

(Crashing)

(Honking horns)

Wooo!

Hey, you can come up for air now.

Oh, my God! They're headed
right for my town.

I want all traffic stopped!
I want somebody to wave 'em through!

Get traffic control at every signal!

And hurry!

(Sighs)

See? I told you, it was nothin'.

Whew!

Come on, sergeant. Let's get goin'!

(Siren blaring)

(Engine not turning over)
It won't start!

Do you read, Wallace? Do you read me?

Do you read me? Over.

(Engine starts)

They're headed straight for town...

Damn that water truck!

Get those, uh, windshield wipers!
Dad-gum-it!

Get over there. Come on, go over there.
What's wrong with that guy?

♪ Over yonder,
over yonder, I'll be there

(Sloane)
♪ Hallelujah, praise the Lord!

(♪ Singing)

♪ When the group is called up yonder... ♪

(Sirens blaring)

(Elderly man) 'Break 1-9
for 18-Wheel Eddie.

'I'm screwin' it down, tryin' to catch up
with you, convoy.'

And I say damn the double nickel.
Come on.

(Duck) 'It'll be a pleasure to have you
join our convoy, 18-Wheeler.

'Come ahead on.'

10-4.

(♪ Playing country music)

Duck, did you see what you did?

(Chuckling)
I think they're on our side.

(Horn blasts)

(♪ Play marching music)

(Crowd cheering)

(Laughing)

(Reporter) 'Citizens of New Mexico,
many of you may have heard

'that we seem to be having
a phenomenon in our state.

'Six trucks crossed our border,

'followed closely
by the Arizona State Police.

'They were soon joined
by many, many more.

'It seems
they're not interested in stopping.

'They've ignored roadblocks
and official orders.'

My God! Take a look, ladies
and gentlemen. Can you see that?

They seem to have grown!

It's not six of one and half a dozen
of another anymore.

It's 25, 50, 100.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm looking
back, back, back as far as I can see,

and there's just no end to it!

Now we're gonna find out
who they are,

what they are
and where they're going.

So far, no one's been hurt except, uh,

maybe, the pride of a couple
of law enforcement officers.

Breaker 1-9 to the Rubber Duck.

My name's Chuck Arnoldi.

I'm a special assistant

and press representative
for Governor Haskins of New Mexico.

I'd like you to know
that Governor Haskins

has had a long-time interest
in the problems of the trucking industry

and would like to help work out
some of those problems.

Which ones does he have in mind?
Over.

We'd like to know,
is this convoy...

some sort of protest
demonstration?

And if it is, what's its purpose?

The purpose of the convoy
is to keep movin'.

Ask him why he wants to know.

You wanna run this?

Hey, look, I'm a little busy right now,
as you can see.

Why don't you try and talk
to some of them back there?

All right, will do, Rubber Duck, uh...
I'll be back to you later.

- (Arnoldi) 10-4.
- Good buddy(!)

'This is Chuck Arnoldi
of the Governor's Office, sir.

- 'I wonder if I could talk to you.
- 'Call me Old Iguana.'

'Old Iguana, eh?
Where were you born, sir? '

Originally?

(Iguana) 'I've been driving
18-wheelers as long as... '

How about it?

- Think I oughta talk to him?
- Yeah, I do.

We're sick and tired of beatin'
our eyeballs out coast to coast

and havin' the damn Smokies rip us off
for our green stamps.

So you believe in what
the Rubber Duck's doing, is that it?

I'm tired of seein'
the way black people have to live.

'Went to Vietnam and got shot
for the right to live in a ghetto.'

(Trucker) 'I go from A to B.

'The faster I can get from A to B
the more money I make.

'At 55, I can't deal with it.'

(Trucker) 'Big oil companies
raise the prices of oil and gas

'which gets back to the consumer,
we gotta raise all our prices... '

Listen to them!

Big money's what I'm trying to say.

They're talking about their future,
not just yours.

(Sneaky snake) 'Well, the whole thing
was a cover-up for Watergate.

'It went way back to Nixon.'

First thing to remember...
Nixon...

Nixon got caught with his pants down

before the guys from the Washington Post
had it out.

'Governor Rockefeller retired
as Governor of New York,

'who just happens to be president
of Standard Oil.

'Not to mention his brother David -
he opened up Chase Manhattan Bank

for the first time in the history
of the free world behind the Iron Curtain.

'I'm not tellin' you how
to run the country,

'but this whole 55 double nickel
was a jive-ass turkey wrap,'

and I don't like people giving me bullshit!

Yes, sir. Well, you put
that very well, sir.

Thank you very much!

Sir, I wonder if I could ask you why you're
in this convoy with the Rubber Duck.

Well, I'm just along to kick ass
and for the ride.

Yeah, but, well, uh, surely you must have
some kind of personal grievance

against the laws of this state?

No, I just like kickin' ass. You sure are
a pretty red-headed little boy.

Wanna ride in my truck?
We oughta have supper!

(Big Nasty cackling)

Why do you think you have the right
to break the laws of this state?

- You want me to tell you why?
- Yes, I'd like to...

- OK, watch this!
- Jesus Christ!

- Some of these people are crazy.
- Watch this!

(Mumbling)
Uh... Uh...

Well, Reverend, can you tell me
if you see this convoy

as more of a spiritual
than a political event?

Well, life itself is a spiritual event.

- (Followers) Amen! Amen!
- (Sloane) That's a big 10-4!

♪ When I was prayin'
somebody touched me

♪ When I was prayin'
somebody touched me ♪

(Arnoldi) Breaker 1-9.
Breaker 1-9 to the Rubber Duck.

This is Chuck Arnoldi.
Can I talk to you again, please?

Uh, this is the Duck, Chuck.
What did you learn?

I learned a lot.

Now look, the Governor is very interested
in meeting with you, personally.

He is prepared to fly here at once
and get together with all of you.

So we've set aside a field
here in Albuquerque

where you can spend the night.

Now look, the police have orders
not to bother you.

That's the truth!

Bullshit!

Can I level with you?

- Level with me.
- I want to talk to him off the record.

I don't want this on the television.
I don't want this printed.

- Can you hear me?
- Yeah.

The Governor has been requested
to call out the National Guard on you.

But this is an election year
and the Governor wants to...

hell, he expects to be part of it,
on a Senatorial level.

These people out here watching you.

Do you know who they are,
what they are?

Do you?

They're voters!

How it's gonna look to them

if the Governor tells the army
to blow the shit out of your convoy?

Maybe you can help him.
Maybe he can help you!

(Camera clicking)

Do we have any choice?

(Thunder rumbles)

'Spider Mike callin' the Duck. Say Duck,
I just got a skip from my home 20.

'My old lady's about to pop.

'You're talking to a damn near daddy.
Can you dig it? '

Hey, that's great news, Mike.

I'm gonna have to split, though.

So, uh, you all take care.

(Duck) 'We're gonna miss you, buddy.
Give our love to the old lady.

'Hey Mike, this is Love Machine.
It's been good travellin' with you.

'Good luck with your baby, OK? '

(Melissa)
'It was nice meeting you, Mike.'

(Black Widow)
'We'll catch you later, baby-maker! '

(Pack Rat) 'Hey Mike, old partner,
keep the pedal to the metal

'and get on home
to that good little woman.'

'Breaker 1-9,
this is the Saddle Burner here,

'wishin' Spider Mike high ridin'
back to Texas.

'Say hello to the Alamo for me, yeah? '

(Spider Mike) 'Next time we hook up,
you'll all get to meet my son.'

You all take care.
Keep 'em movin' all right for me.

Jesus, I hope he makes it.

He's going through some bad country
for a black truck driver.

(Arnoldi)
Governor, you couldn't ask

for a better opportunity
to make the headlines.

Liberal, humanitarian headlines.

Truckers. Trash.
Just plain old trash.

- No, average people.
- Trash!

To tell you the truth, Henry,
I think this damn convoy

has more public support than we do.

Bring in Sheriff Wallace.

I'm afraid Sheriff Wallace
left for Texas in a hurry.

Texas?

Well, what the hell
is he going to do in Texas?

(Duck) 'We're runnin' RPM up
about 21 hundred and shifting,

'and it'll fall back to about 18.

'That's your normal operating range
when you're pullin' something.

'Between 18 and 21.'

(Melissa) You really love
this truck, don't you?

(Duck) I certainly do NOT love
this truck.

You oughta meet Ramblin' Jack Elliott.

Talk about a man who loves his truck,
bumper to bumper.

He named his dog "Kenworth".

I like knowin' how she runs but, uh,

it's really the driving!

(Reporter) 'Although there is
no official comment at this time,

'it seems to be a mass protest
against the 55 mile an hour... '

(Motorbike engine starts)

Yahooo!

Come over here!
(Laughing)

Baby...

(♪ Group singing)

Goddammit, I'll meet you outside.

Give me one shot at the Governor and
I'll corner him with documented evidence

to prove the Republican Party...

Does anybody know
where we can find the Rubber Duck?

Hey man, lay off.
Give him a chance to dry off, uh?

We're just trying
to get a couple pictures!

No, no, I don't think so.
You're not gonna get no pictures.

You know what you can do
with your money?

No, you take your body out of here.
Your cameras, too.

- Hey, you made good time, Lyle.
- Yeah, I had a pretty good pilot.

A little tired, though.

Here he is, Lyle.

Boy, you sure are
one dumb black son of a bitch!

You got here a little late for the fun.
You would have enjoyed it.

Man, you sure know how to hurt.

You resisted arrest.

I'll plead guilty, whatever you say.
(Gasping) Just don't hit me anymore.

I didn't hit you.
I helped you up.

Thank you, sir, but I don't need
any more of your help.

Let's go, Lyle.

Yeah. Listen boy, if I hear anything
about your kid I'll let you know.

Looks like you're gonna be with us
for a while.

What for?

Bait.

What happens, Lyle,
when he brings all those trucks?

Ah, he won't do that.
Not his style.

Our syndicate would be very interested
in buying any photographs you have.

- We'll give you a very good deal.
- What's a very good deal?

Oh, if the photographs are good,
$500.

(Laughing)
More like $2,500.

Then you'll have an exclusive
for the first instalment.

- I don't think...
- Hey, hey, hey!

This is no time to be talking business.

Excuse me, please,
I think I'll get dressed.

- Hey, you're the Rubber Duck!
- That's right. I'm in a real hurry.

- I'm just tryin' to work a deal.
- So am I, brother. So am I.

You're all wet.

Is that so?

It's becoming.

- Guess what.
- What?

I'm about to sell you out!

(Man) You all right?

You, you with that convoy?

Don't you worry. I'll get ya help.

I ain't sellin' no stories.

The hell you're not.
We're talking about a lot of money.

Whoever buys this story
is gonna have to pay through the nose.

I believe that!

And we're gonna need it.

Because I see
a lot of lawyers in our future.

- You do, uh?
- Mm-hm.

And I'm involved.

You are, uh?

What in?

Don't give me
any more of your nonsense, please.

I'm really trying to help.

I know you are.

I'm serious. I'm really
interested in knowing

what it is you think
you're involved in.

Because I'm beginning
to think I got no idea.

We can go talk it over in the truck,
if you want.

(Laughing)

(Man) 'Breaker 1-9.
Emergency 10-33.

'Is there any 18-wheelers
out there westbound who can read me?

'Come on.'

'Hey, you got the Spanish Fly here.
I got a copy on you, go! '

I need a message relayed west
to Rubber Duck in the convoy.

(Knocking)
Hey, Duck!

Hey, Duck!
(Knocking)

'Bobby, you know you're really something.
You're perfect.

- I'll come back.
- No, wait a minute, man.

(Door closes)
What you got on your mind?

This Disneyland.
Let's get off this merry-go-round.

- I didn't fight my way outta...
- 'Breaker 1-9 for 10-33.

'Spider Mike's in jail in Alvarez, Texas.

'Tiny's beat him half to death.
He needs help.'

'Breaker, breaker, this is Mother Trucker.
10-33 emergency.

'Repeat. Spider Mike needs help.'

(Duck) I don't know what to do,
Bobby.

I've been thinking about all those towns
we've gone through

and all them people
who was cheerin' us, man.

People fallin' in behind us.

- And I think I've figured it out.
- A chopper!

The reason they're coming in behind us
is who the hell else they got?

Nobody, that's who.

This guy up here, man, he may not
be any straighter than anybody else,

but he sees somethin' down here
that he wants to use

or he wouldn't even be messin' with us.

So that means he's worth dealin' with.

(Helicopter approaching)

Look at all them people.

Just remember,
when I used to steal cookies,

the faster I ran
the less I had to split.

'Breaker 1-9 for 10-33.
This is the Midnight Mover.

'Spider Mike's in truckers' hell
down in Alvarez, Texas.'

Give me time alone with him first.

Are you sure the perimeters
are manned?

(Crowd cheering)
Haskins! Here comes Haskins!

Haskins! Haskins!
Here comes Haskins!

Duck! Don't pass the buck! Duck!

Don't pass the buck! Duck! Duck!

Don't pass the buck! Duck!

Duck! Don't pass the buck! Duck!

Duck!

(Crowd cheering)

Gerry Haskins, Duck.
Glad you could take the time to see me.

I mean, I know how busy you are.

Well, it looks like you got a hell
of a cross-section of people here.

(Chuckling) I mean, there's no question
that most of their bitches are...

probably legitimate,
but you know...

...I think the question
we're facing is,

how do we take effective action
together?

I mean I know your cause or causes
should be defined and, uh...

- Katie, darling, how are you?
- Governor, welcome.

- The press are waiting for you.
- Oh, good. Let's go over to the tent.

I'll have a little talk with the Duck.

We got a legitimate hero,
a public figure.

(Press and crowd chattering)

'Breaker 1-9 to 10-33.
This is White Line Willie... '

It's obvious this represents
something more

than the banning
of the 55-mile speed limit, right?

It's nothing to do
with the 55 mile an hour...

(Trucker) 'Spider Mike's in jail
and they beat him up bad.

'Pass the message on.'

With my aides, we can draft up
a list of your grievances.

'Spider Mike's down in Alvarez, Texas,
and Old Tiny beat the hell out of him.'

'Lyle Wallace got Spider Mike in jail.
I heard they broke his back.'

'Lyle split his skull wide open.'

I will be elected!
(Crowd cheering)

Hello, Bertie. Good to see you.

Oh, Governor Haskins, we're so happy
to have you here in Albuquerque.

Well, it's great to be here, cos you're
doing such a wonderful job, all of you.

In fact, I'd like to
just have a moment...

How about some comments?

Jake, just a minute.
You know better than that.

I'd like to have a moment alone
with the Duck.

And then I'll be happy
to talk to all of you.

Everybody out, please. Everybody.

- We got deadlines to meet, you know.
- Bill, I'll do the best I can.

Think he's gonna need some help?

Yeah, let's go.

But I'll give you my word that
I'll apply all the pressure I can.

And I can apply pressure.

But I wouldn't plan a return visit
to Arizona for a while, if I were you.

- I don't.
- Good.

- Black or white?
- What do you have in mind?

Coffee.

Black. What else do you have in mind?

I want to take you to Washington DC,
as a people's leader.

Which is just what you've become.
See, I need you there, Duck.

Come on, Reverend.
We've got a problem.

And I think you need me here.

All of you.

- OK, let us through.
- Let us through.

They got Mike! They got Spider Mike.

Lyle and Tiny Alvarez have him
in truckers' hell.

Yeah! I hear they beat him half to death
and got him in jail!

What the hell is Lyle doin'
in Alvarez, Texas?

Hey, don't worry, I'll go get him.

- (Chatter) I'll go with you.
- Hey, we'll all go get him.

Wait a minute!
Just wait a minute, all of you!

Hold it! Hey!
Will you grow up?

I mean, all of you, will you just grow up?

Hey, will you help us?

That's what I'm trying to do!
I'm just one man.

I can't reach outta my office
and, uh, pluck criminals out of jail,

left and right.

(Uproar)

Sometimes,
you have to sacrifice the individual.

Bullshit!

- For the cause of the common purpose.
- He's right, you know.

It could take weeks, months.
Don't kill this!

- You started something very good here.
- Look, I'll do all I can to help you.

But I'm afraid he's gonna have
to fend for himself for a while.

Is that it?

Yeah, that's it.

OK, partner, I gotta go.

You're in charge, now.

You know what we need
and what we're up against.

Get what you can from the man, and...

she'll help you.

You're leaving?

Why?

Hey, why does it always have to be you?

I don't know.

Just when we were starting to get
something accomplished.

All these people! Don't you give a damn
what's gonna happen to them?

- (Chatter)
- Chuck...

Stay back, stay back.

Hey, you can do me a favour.
Will you stay here and...

Watch it.

You can do me a favour. Stay here
and help Bobby sort this out.

He ain't so good at stringing
them words together as you are.

- Where you goin', Duck?
- Governor didn't do anything, did he?

Hey, Duck?

You comin' back?

Son of a bitch! What are we gonna do
without the Duck, now?

(Engine starting)

Hey, Melissa?

How come you didn't stay
with the press people?

They seemed to like you.

I just didn't feel like it.

(Sighing)
Oh.

Uh... Well...

Ma'am...

Can I let you off some place?

- No?
- No, thank you.

Oh, oh, boy!

These lonely long highways sure
grind the souls off us cowpokes.

(Dog barking)

(♪ Country music on radio)

Diamonds!

(Melissa) I think I'll get in the back.

(Horns blowing)

♪ Texas, dawn
and the charge was on

♪ To the pits in Alvarez town

♪ We had nine of our best

♪ Comin' outta the west
and the ultimate hammer was down

♪ Yes, Speed Trap City
and we showed no pity

♪ Cos the whole damn place was a pile

♪ You could tell by the smell
it was trucker's hell

♪ And the devil was Dirty Lyle ♪

(Horn blowing)

I thought you said
he was going to come alone?

- I'll be seein' you, Lyle.
- Where the hell are you going?

Come back here!

Madre mia!

Operator. Operator!

(Engines off)

(Moaning)

- The keys! Where are the keys?
- Let's look in the back.

I knew you'd come,

but I never figured
you'd need help, too.

I didn't bring nobody.

They came on their own.

This was between you and me.

You knew it.

Now, look what you've done.

You ain't nothin' but a two-bit,
lyin', cheatin',

law-breakin' trucker!

And what the hell are you?

Take a look at yourself.

You're just a broke-down
old bribe-takin' piece of meanness.

You tell me, old man.
What good are you?

I am the law! Don't you understand?
I represent the law!

Well, piss on you.

And piss on your law.

I sure am glad to see you.

You oughta be shot
right where you're standing.

So help me, if I had a
gun I'd do it myself.

And that badge would make it all right,
wouldn't it?

Throw him in a cell
and get a doctor for him.

It wasn't him. Fat man
didn't have nothing to do with it.

It was Alvarez.

Forget it.

I ain't forgettin' nothing!
Cos this ain't over yet!

It is, for me.

Man, I'm sorry.

Don't worry about it.

I'm really sorry.

I hate somebody else payin' my dues.

(Engine starts)

Wheee! Doggie!

(Cheering)

(Horn blows)

(Laughing)

'Uh, breaker 1-9 calling all trucks.'

Anyone who don't like
the sound of Mexico

can speak up now or split.

(Love Machine)
'Wait, I gotta have a conference.

'Oink oink oink.
It's OK with them.'

'You got it, brother! Amen! '

'Eh amigo,
fume mota de Jalisco, Guillero,

'Michoacan, Oaxaca, aiiii! '

When you boys get down to Mazatlan,

just order me up about four fingers
of tequila in a malt glass.

I'll be right behind you.

Well, the Bald Eagle's
been tuned into that.

Jeez, I'm glad we didn't pick Haiti.

'Viva Zapata! '

- 'Pues, vamos a ver! '
- 'Vamos a ver! '

'How about you?
I love Mexico! '

'Don't leave without me! '

'Ole! Viva tequila! '

'Ai, Chihuahua! '

(Laughing)

(Sloane's crowd)
♪ Shall we gather in the river

♪The beautiful, beautiful river ♪

'Hey, Bobby,
we're gonna be turning up here,

'about a quarter of a mile
and headin' for the river.'

Did you hear me, Bobby?

Por favor, buy a drinko!

OK, kids. School time, come on.

(Horn blaring)

Come on! Move it!
Get out of the way!

(Kids screaming)

(Tyres screeching)

(Crashing)

(Siren blares)

That idiot tried to kill me!

Get outta here!

(Duck)
'Hey Bobby, where you at? '

Jesus Christ!

'Hey Duck, kinda got a little problem here.

We can handle it, though,

'but it certainly looks like a problem.'

Man, this is no time to be having
problems. We're almost there.

'Hey, Duck, look,
we're gonna fall behind you.'

We'll meet you in Old Mex, OK?

'We'll meet you at the Posada Duran.'

- What the hell's going on, Bobby?
- 'We're doin' fine. It'll be OK.'

But don't let the back door slap you
in the ass, buddy.

'I heard you, buddy.'

Your registration's in the glove box.
You take care of your own licence.

That's 10-30, boy.

'It was his fault,
we were just minding our own... '

He's coming.

Breaker 1-9.

'Breaker 1-9. This is the Bear.

'In the hardware at your front door.

'If you don't get your ass
outta that truck,

'with your hands in the air,

'I'm gonna blow you sky high.
Come on.'

(Sighing)

'Martin, do you read me?
This is Lyle Wallace! '

Well, I guess this is as far as it goes.
You'd better get on out.

I'm staying.

I said, get out!

Come on.

'Hey, Duck. Hey, Duck! '

(Ice cream vendor) 'Own snow cones...
Trying to make a living.

Let's get this door outta the street.

Duck! Did you hear me?

That's it. It's all yours, Colonel.
Fire when you're ready.

Hey, Duck.

'You're finished. You're finished!
You're finished! '

Hey, Duck!

All right, you people.
Let's get outta here!

Prepare to fire!

Ready!

Aim!

Fire!

(Gun shots)

You poor son of a bitch!

'Hey, Duck! Hey, Duck! '

(Explosion)

(Explosions)

(Honking horn)

(Honking horns)

(Explosions)

(Gasping)

(Haskins)
A lonely breed.

Hard men, proud men,
not too proud to cry,

nor shed a tear.

The living embodiment

of the American cowboy tradition.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we are gathered here today

to honour this great
Native American son,

who gave his life to dramatise
a cause so vital to us all,

as many great Americans
before him have.

As you can see,

these truckers are going
to start passing,

paying their respects
to their lost comrade,

the Rubber Duck.

Can we have an amen for our sister?

Amen.

In their Macks, their Jimmys,

their K-Whoppers,
fruit liners, garbage trucks,

dump trucks

and even limousines...

Truckers all!

From the covered wagons and trains
to the 18-wheelers...

...that keep this country alive.

His controlled individualism
made this cause so vital...

...that I promise to take it
to Washington

and present it to the Senate myself.

(Crowd cheering)

(Honking horn)

You can do your part as well...

What do you think you're doing?

- This thing isn't over!
- They're selling tickets, the bums!

...You can contribute.
You can write to the White House!

(Horn blowing)

And I'll be there to back you up!

Hey, Pig Pen,
would you give us a statement?

Hey, Chuck!

- Make 'em believe this is part of it.
- Bullshit!

Ladies and gentlemen,
we will guarantee

that the Rubber Duck's voice
will be heard.

- Quack, quack!
- (Laughing) You son of a bitch!

Martin Penwald!

Did you ever see a duck
that couldn't swim?

Where are you going?
Why are you leaving?

What's going on?

Stop that truck!
This is civil disobedience!

For God's sake, stop that truck!
(Horns blowing)

(Love Machine)
'We're on our own.'

'Tell 'em like it is, Pig Pen.
You got it! Yes, sir.'

Ladies and gentlemen,
the true spirit of America...

I'm sure you see it represented
in these truckers.

- (Haskins) This demonstration...
- (Duck) Quack, quack!

10-4, good buddy!

- Bye.
- (Laughing)

Get that FBI man over here.

- Right now?
- I warned you about this.

It's out of control.

Gentlemen!
Let the Governor get out!

'Political bullshit! And you damn
well better tell 'em it's no good!

'He's using the truckers for
a red carpet to the White House! '

'Somebody ought to dehorn
that rotten son of a bitch! '

(Laughing and singing)

What are they doing here?

(Arnoldi) What do they think
this is, a parade?

(Laughing)

What the hell's he laughing at?

'For mercy's sake alive!
Looks like we got us a convoy.'

(Lyle laughing)

♪ Arizona, noon,
on the seventh of June

♪ When they high-balled
over the pass

♪ Bull dog Mack
with a can on the back

♪ And a Jaguar haulin' ass

♪ He's ten on the floor,
strokin' bore

♪ Seat covers startin' to gain

♪ Now Beaver you were trucking
with the Rubber Duck

♪ And I'm about
to pull a plug on your drain

♪ Cos we got a big old convoy
rocking through the night

♪ Yeah, we got a great big convoy,
ain't she a beautiful sight?

♪ Come on and join our convoy,
ain't nothin' gonna get in our way

♪ We're gonna hold this trucking convoy
across the USA

♪ Convoy

'Breaker, Pig Pen.
This here's the Duck again.

'You wanna back off
with them go-go girls? '

'Roger. About five miles or so.
Them hogs is getting intense up here.'

♪ New Mexico on I-40
like a Texas lizard on glass

♪ 1,000 pedals was mashing the metal,
them bears were walking the grass

♪ We trucked all day
and we trucked all night

♪ Pig Pen he had proven our style

♪ We could tell by the smell
he was heading for hell

♪ And the devil was a dirty liar

♪ Cos we got a great big convoy
trucking through the night

♪ Yeah, we got a great big convoy,
ain't she a beautiful sight?

♪ Come on and join our convoy,
ain't nothin' gonna get in our way

♪ We're gonna roll this trucking convoy
across the USA

♪ Convoy

'Well, here's the plan, Pig Pen.

'When we get to the pass,
we gonna put on our fish costumes,

'pass out the Vaseline and an extra
ration of rum for the men.

'That should do it.'

♪ Now, Lyle was a creep,
he was tacky and cheap

♪ But he had him a badge and a gun

♪ He hated the Duck
and he hated his truck

♪ And he loved to bust truckers for fun

♪ So he followed the line
and he bided his time

♪ And he watched
for his chance to strike

♪ He picked on a trucker,
a wiry little sucker

♪ A trucker they called Spider Mike

♪ But the great Rubber Duck
sure run out of luck

♪ When he crossed that final bridge

♪ There was choppers and rigs
full of guns and pigs

♪ They was wall-to-wall on a ridge

♪ He showed no fear
as he grabbed his gear

♪ And he stuck it into granddaddy low

♪ Those guns went boom
and his ass went zoom

♪ And the Mack took a terminal blow

'How about you, Big Nasty, come on?

'Say, listen, Big Nasty. We sure are
glad you was along on this here run.

'To kick ass, don't ya know?

'10-4, I know you can't say "ass"
on the CB. Back.'

♪ Well, that big black Mack
stopped dead in her tracks

♪ When the trailer blew high
in the air

♪ There was pieces of truck
and some pieces of Duck

♪ Junk and debris everywhere

♪ Then the rig took a drink
and commenced to sink

♪ There was no Duck no more

♪ But the evil smile
from dirty ol' Lyle

♪ Shone south from
the north Texas shore

♪ Cos we got a mighty convoy
rockin' through the night

♪ Yeah, we got a mighty convoy,
ain't she a beautiful sight?

♪ Convoy

'Uh, 10-4, Pig Pen. What's your 20?

'Omaha?

'Hell, they ought to know what to do
with those hogs out there for sure.

'Listen, good buddy.

'Keep the bugs off your glass
and the bears off your ass.

'Well, catch you on the flip-flop.
This here's Rubber Duck on the side.

'Southbound and down.