Coming 2 America (2021) - full transcript

The African monarch Akeem learns he has a long-lost son in the United States and must return to America to meet this unexpected heir and build a relationship with his son.

Good morning, Mother and Father.

Good morning, Tinashe.

Good morning, Mother and Father.

Good morning, Omma.

Good morning, Mother and Father,
and happy anniversary.

Yes, Meeka.

It is our anniversary.

Today, we celebrate

30 years of Zamundan prosperity,

30 years of service
to our great nation

and 30 years
of delicious fast food.

We want to welcome
you all to McDowell's Zamunda.

The McDowell's menu is in no way

influenced by
the McDonald's menu.

They've got Egg McMuffins.

We've got Egg McStuffins.

We are also celebrating

the arrival of our new
Beyond Big Mick Burger!

And it's all part of my lovely
granddaughter's campaign

to reduce our, uh... our what?

Carbon footprint.

And without using
any animal by-products.

It's just
good old-fashioned grass.

- So there's no meat?
- There's no meat.

Beautiful, leafy taste.

So delicious.

Maybe it would taste
much better with a...


Pepsi, the official soft drink
of McDowell's Zamunda.

You look tired, Father.

Maybe he needs a nap.

I am the heir
to the throne of Zamunda.

I shall not be shamed
by my two daughters.

Three daughters!


Behold! Prince Akeem
in his natural element,

cowering at the mercy
of the women in his life.

Semmi, perhaps you would like
to spar with my daughters

and teach them
some combinations.

No doubt, you are

their best teacher,
Your Majesty.

It is my daughters that teach me

in the languages
of the modern world.

For instance,

are my princely robes
not on fleek?

Oh, my God, Father.
To be on fleek is no more.


I rather enjoyed being on fleek.

Your father has sent for you.

He has an urgent matter
to discuss with you.

Tell me, Semmi,
this urgent matter...

does it concern
my marriage to a suitor

who shall one day sit
on the throne of Zamunda?

I will talk to Father alone.

And how is my father today?

He has already ordered
my execution three times.

Oh, then he must be
feeling better.

Prince Akeem!

Nexdorian soldiers.

I could not stop.
They are coming.

Presenting the supreme leader
of Nexdoria,

the conqueror of countries
and hearts...

...the wrestler of lions,

the tamer of elephants,

the inspiration for Mufasa...

...the most well-endowed man
in Africa,



Prince Akeem.

Whoa, look at you.

My condolences this day
for your father, the king.

Many thanks for your
well wishes, General Izzi,

but as you know,
my father still breathes.

Barely, but for how long?

Why have you come here, General?

30 years ago,
you left my sister at the altar.

Oh, here we go.

Now look at she.

Imani, always a pleasure.

If you had married her,
our countries would be united,

putting an end to decades
of suffering for all our people.

General, throughout the years,

we have tried to help
Nexdoria many times.

I would like nothing more
than to help your country

relieve its burden of poverty.

Zamunda can only afford so much.

I did not come here for money.

I came here for blood.

But not the murder kind.

No, no, no, family blood.

Marriage blood, yes?

Has your daughter considered
the proposal from my son?

Hey, Prince-o.

My fellow player.



I do not think that he and Meeka
will ever happen.


There is Bopoto, my daughter.

Perhaps your son can be...

Uh, ay...

But you don't have one.

The shame must be unbearable,

as a man, as a king,

without an heir with a nut sack.

Thank you for your visit,

Seeing you brings to mind

all of my father's
favorite curses for you.

To call you a shit stain
brought him much joy.

I advise you
to reconsider my offer.

It is better to be bound
by blood and marriage

than be divided
by blood and war.



My time has come, my son.

You must heed my words
before I'm gone.

Please don't leave us so soon,
Your Highness.

Zamunda needs you.

Oh, shut up, Semmi!

You don't have to suck up
to me anymore.

I'll be dead soon.

Why couldn't it be you, Semmi?

Yes, Your Majesty.

His life is far too worthless.

His death would make me smile.


The throne must pass
to a male heir.

Yes, Father.

A male heir.

Once again, I apologize to you

for all of the shame
and disappointment

that my offspring's
genetic makeup has caused you.

My son, it appears
your shortcomings in masculinity

have turned out to be unfounded.

I seen it

in a vision.

You gots a son.

It is true.

You have a son, Akeem.

A bastard son.

That is impossible.

The only woman
I have ever lain with is Lisa.

Father, I did not sow
my royal oats.



Tell Akeem the truth at once.

Remember in Queens,
night after night,

you were looking
for the perfect woman?


Well, I too was...
how can I say this?

I was looking
for the perfect vagina.

Or any vagina.

We scoured the far reaches
of that loathsome city,

searching rather unsuccessfully
for the woman of your dreams.

♪ My name is Peaches,
and I'm the best ♪

♪ All the DJs want
to feel my breast. ♪

I've been
watching you all evening,

and I want to tear you apart.

And your friend, too.

I am going to mingle.

I had had enough.

And I realized, if I was ever
going to sow my oats

on American soil,

I was going to need
to find someone

to take care of you.

But don't worry,
I never broke our oath

of keeping our identity
a secret.

A prince?

Yes, a prince.

But he cannot know
that you know who he is.

We are undercover Africans.

Africans undercover.
Oh, that's good, baby.

You ain't got to lie like that
to get some of this ass.

But you know what? I'll bump
uglies with your homeboy.

Just let me go throw up
real quick, and, uh...

and then we can, you know,
get it crackin'.

♪ Let your soul glow... ♪

I may not have been
thinking straight.

In my defense, it had been weeks

since the last time I was
tended to by the royal bathers.

But at the time,
it seemed like a good plan.


I hope you like, uh,
pumpkin pie.

'Cause you gonna get
a whole slice.

That is not what happened,

I remember meeting
this morally bereft woman,

but there was
no inappropriate mating.

She offered me
some of her ceremonial herbs.


And then, if memory serves,

a wild boar burst into the room.

It came and jumped into my lap.

And then it began to ram me.

And ram me and ram me, ramming and ramming!

And a foul...

You fool,
what have you done to me?!

Go on, son.

- Just kill him.
- Kill him!

- So I actually have a son?
- A bastard son.

Why was his existence
hidden from me all these years?

I was hoping you would put
a stem on an apple of your own.

The royal artist made a sketch
of my vision.

This is your bastard.

Hear me, Prince Akeem.

General Izzi, he will use
the passing of our great king

as a sign
to attack the weak one.

The weak one?

Am I the weak one?

I spoiled you, my son.

You are not strong
or ruthless as I am.

You will be assassinated.

Within a week.

Month, tops.

Prince Akeem,
follow the thunderbird.

It will take you to your boy.

Follow the thunderbird?

This is madness.

If my family were to ever
find out about this...

You will be safe.

Our people will be safe.

It is the only way. You must.

Easy, my father.

The end is near.

My funeral...

should be spectacular.

Yeah, it will, Papa.

Let's have it now
while I'm alive.

It shall be glorious.

In the beginning,

the universe began.

Stars, planets,

all the visible objects
in the universe

came to be
with a single purpose:

to prepare the way for
the grandest creation of all,

the birth of Jaffe Joffer.

But today,

we gather for a moment or two

to give much respect due

to the king who made
a difference in our world.

Zamundans, I give you...

En Vogue.


- ♪ Yeah, ooh ♪
- ♪ What a king ♪

♪ What a king, what a king ♪

♪ What a mighty good king ♪

♪ I'm-a say it again now ♪

♪ What a king, what a king,
what a king ♪

♪ What a mighty good king ♪

♪ He's a mighty,
mighty good king... ♪

And now... Salt-N-Pepa!

♪ My king is smooth like Barack,
but his voice got bass ♪

♪ A Michael B. body
with a Denzel face ♪

♪ Boss moves like Hov,
face on his own money ♪

♪ He's good in every hood,
and he's got his own country ♪

♪ He lookin' like a meal
every time I see him ♪

♪ A lover and a leader,
other kings couldn't be him ♪

♪ He dresses like a dapper don,
but even in jeans ♪

♪ He's a godsent original,
the king of my dreams ♪

- ♪ Yeah, ooh ♪
- ♪ What a king ♪

♪ What a king, what a king,
what a king ♪

♪ What a mighty good king ♪

♪ So good, so good, so good ♪

♪ What a king, what a king,
what a king ♪

♪ What a mighty good king. ♪


With the passing
of the great king,

the world changed forever.

When he died,
no one ever smiled again.

Vacations were canceled.

Holidays ignored.

♪ He's leaving... ♪

People didn't even
have sex anymore.

Our great king
had gone away forever.

Gladys Knight.

♪ He's leaving ♪

♪ Leaving ♪

♪ On that midnight train ♪

♪ From Zamunda ♪

♪ Leaving on
the midnight train ♪

- ♪ Yes, he is ♪
- Son.

Yes, my father.

♪ Said he's going up ♪

♪ Up, up, up, up ♪

- ♪ Going up to that great ♪
- Remember what I told you.

♪ Sahara in the sky... ♪

I'm going to die now.

♪ Oh, yes, he is... ♪

Come now, Father.
Everything is going to be...

♪ Oh, please don't leave us ♪

♪ Take us instead ♪

♪ Take us on
that midnight train ♪

- Father?
- ♪ From Zamunda ♪

♪ Take us on
the midnight train ♪

- ♪ From Zamunda ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ 'Cause this nation's
only hope ♪

♪ Next ruler of this land ♪

♪ Is a son
who can't have a son ♪

♪ Of his own ♪

♪ What's even the point? ♪

♪ There's not even a point ♪

♪ Sad, sad, sad. ♪

I just lost
the greatest man in my life.

Soon, Nexdorian warriors
will assassinate me.

And I have a child
on the other side of the world.

Take heart in your grief.

You are king now.

Be as your father.

Bark orders at me.

Throw things at me.
It will make you happy.

Prepare the royal jet.

We are going back to America.

Oh, hell no, Your Majesty!

Now, I will find
this bastard of Queens,

and I will look into his eyes,
and if I see

the strength of our ancestors,
I shall know he is of my blood.

Then he must come back
to Zamunda

and take the princely test.

Heir to the throne of Zamunda,

born in America... of opportunity.

What kind of man
do you think he is?

This bastard.

If he has Joffer blood
running through his veins,

I'm sure he's destined
for greatness.

You think you look respectable?

I just want to look employable.

Ain't nobody gonna hire you
over all these


Why not? I got sales experience.

Which reminds me...
St. John's is at the Garden.

Now, I want you to take
these tickets up there.

Sell 'em at full freight
until tip-off.

I can't do this shit
no more, man. I really can't.

This hand-to-mouth shit,
it's got to stop, all right?

I got to get solid.

I'm in my 30s now.

Since when?



Today is my birthday.

And you forgot.

Listen to me, young Jedi, okay?

What you need to do
is learn to relax.

I'm your uncle.

You stay on the ground with me.
You dig it, son?

Uh, L. Junson.

Don't use white voice.


I do know smartphones.

I know technology, all right?

I'm well-versed
in emerging trends.

And I'll tell you this, too.

If you hire me,
I won't let you down.

That's really inspiring.

So, uh, just give me a chance,
Mr. Duke.

Oh, my God, please.
My father is Mr. Duke.

Uh, and my, uh, grandfather
and great-uncle,

who founded Duke & Duke.

- Uh, please just call me Calvin.
- All right.

I'm calling you Calvin.

I noticed here,
under education, that...

did it say that
you-you didn't graduate college?

Well, yeah, see,
I was three credits short

from getting my, uh,
business degree,

but then my mom got laid off,
and, uh,

you know, I had to, uh,
drop out to help with the rent.

- Is she addicted to drugs or...
- What?

- She have gambling issues or...
- No, man.

Pops, uh, in the picture or...

- My dad was not in the picture.
- Ah.

You know, I went
to boarding school,

so there were months
where I didn't see

my parents, except for breaks,
and, uh, it can be hard.

I mean, I've read
a lot of studies that say

that not having
a dominant male figure at home,

it's so detrimental to a child.

- Do they say that?
- Yeah, they say that.

- Who?
- Scientists.

- Bill Nye did a...
- The Science Guy.

Your guy, uh,
Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Do you think that not having

that kind of male role model
could put you at a disadvantage?

No more of a disadvantage
than having a father

who handed you your position.


I-I was not handed anything.

So you're saying
Daddy never donated a building

to get you into
an Ivy League school?

No. Yeah.

Well, there was
a small off-campus library.

And Daddy never
had to sneak you into

an overpriced rehab facility

to cover up
a cocaine addiction, Calvin?

It was oxy, and my mom took me.

Kiss my ass, Calvin.

Hey, you know something?

You've been judging me
since I walked in here.

Which sucks because
I am so motivated.

You know what, I-I just
can't wait for them to find

blackface photos of you
from the office party.

I was
Will Smith's Aladdin, okay?

Peace, Calvin.

There was blueface
over the black...

♪ Say, can you see ♪

♪ I'm coming to America ♪

- ♪ Coming to America ♪
- ♪ Oh ♪

♪ Say, can you see ♪

♪ I'm coming to America ♪

- ♪ America ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪

Much has changed in Queens.

♪ Oh, can you see ♪

♪ I'm... ♪

Yes, but some things have not.

♪ America. ♪

Floyd "Money"
Mayweather ain't shit!

He beat that Filipino boy ass.

"Pack-a-quando," "Pack-a-mondo."

Wh-Whatever his name is,
he beat that boy ass, Clarence.

And he beat that meshuggener
Conor McGregor, the Irishman.

Yeah, 'cause he had to do that
for the blacks.

In this political climate,
Black man can't be taking

no ass-whipping
from no white man.

Would've caused a riot.

I was ready to riot anyway.

I wanted to get me
one of them flat-screen TVs.

Well, I'll be damned!
Look who done come up in here.

Hey, it's Kunta Kinte and Ebola.

- Famine and Blood Diamond.
- Nelson Mandela and Winnie.

Those hungry babies
with the flies on their face.

- Hey. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
- Whoa, whoa.

That's too much, man.
You stepped over the line, now.

We don't be talking that kind
of shit about the hungry babies.

You gonna have to get out my
chair talking that kind of shit.

Politically incorrect.

Somebody need to whip your ass.

Get up and whip him, Sweets.

Hey, don't be putting the money
in my hand all rough.

Take your ass out of here.
You buy you a Flowbee

and cut your own damn hair
from now on.

Right now I could rip
a new ass in that kid.

It is so good to see you.

Your neighborhood
seems to be thriving.

Oh, that's that gentrification.

You know,
when the colored man here,

this neighborhood
didn't have shit.

When the white man move in,

they got their coffeehouses
and their dog parks,

and my brownstone on Foch
Boulevard is worth $10 million.

Your brownstone ain't worth
no ten million.

My brownstone is, too, worth $10 million!

And I'm gonna sell it
and get me a Tesla.

America has certainly changed
since our last visit.

Your Black president finally
united this great country.

Yeah, but it's all
gone to hell now.

We all gonna die.
Just don't know how.

It's gonna be the Nazis.

Nazis are back,

but now they dress
like the Best Buy Geek Squad

and they want to kill people.

Anybody could be a Nazi.
You ever notice that, Prince?

Akeem now is an African king.

Well, I'll be damned.

You got any kids? I got kids.

In fact, I got one granddaughter
used to be my grandson.

They can turn your penis
into a vagina now.

It's science.

I bet they could fix

them long, sloppy titties
y'all got in Africa.

You can't even
squeeze a tit nowadays.

It'll get you fired.

I'm so sorry you can
no longer indiscriminately

touch a woman's body
at your every whim.

Oh, it's okay.
I got it in when I was young.

So what you doing back here,
Idiot Amin?

I am actually here
with a purpose.

I have just discovered
that I may have a bastard son

here in this land,
conceived during my last visit.

The long arm of the family court
bring 'em back every time.

How much child support
she getting from you?

The king pays no child support.

No child support for 30 years,
and you came back?

You's a dummy!

My son has been without a father
for far too long.

I've seen him.

That's the kid that's always
out in front of the Garden.

He scalp tickets
down at Madison Square Garden.

He probably over there right now
working the St. John's game.

Their mascot is a big turkey.

Oh, hell no, it ain't.
It's a thunderbird.

"Follow the thunderbird."

Hey! Come on, y'all!

I got five! Got five!

Got five tickets to the
Middle Tennessee game tonight!

Come on, y'all!
You want it, I got it!

Hey, I got five...
Hey, I got five tickets

to the Middle Tennessee State
game, man.

- No.
- Come on, yo.

What better way to spend
your night than paying to watch

unpaid student athletes?

Semmi, look.

It is my potential bastard son.


You are king of Zamunda.

Your noble visage is known
around the world.

You cannot stroll down the
street like we did years ago.

Come on, Middle Tennessee State.

Come on, y'all.

They got
a seven-foot-five center.

Catch him before his knees pop.


You want some tickets, man?

No, thank you.

I am King Akeem Joffer,
king of Zamunda.

And I believe that you...

What is your name?

It's Lavelle.

- Lavelle Junson.
- ...Lavelle Junson,

are the heir
to the throne of Zamunda.

My firstborn child
and my only son.

Yes, my son.

Are you putting
the candles on the cake?

31 candles.
I need 31 candles on that cake.

Oh, well, there's only ten
in the pack, so...

What do you mean, only ten?
Why is there only ten?

'Cause I did not have
enough change left over

to get another pack of candles.

It's your nephew's birthday.

Look, just please try
to make 31 candles.

Cut the candles in half.

That's just 20. It's...

Cuzzo! Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday, cuz!

Hey, baby, happy birthday!

Oh, my God.

My African.

I told you
he was gonna come back!

Boy, why you ain't tell me
you was bringing company?

- I would've cleaned up.
- Uh-huh.

- So you know this man?
- I definitely know this man.

I know this man
all the way live.

You know, I know this man
all up in the crevice.

Yes, it's, uh,

very good to see you again...

- Mary.
- Mary.

- Like the Virgin.
- Oh. Okay, baby. All right.

- Virgin? Not our Mary.
- She ain't no virgin.

- You know that.
- You know what? That's right.

Y'all was doing
that little weak pickup game.

I think he was
supposed to be, like,

the prince or something.

He is not a prince anymore.

He is our king.

- Oh, he's a king now.
- A king?

Oh, okay, King.

So, you still got that smooth...


No. Nobody want to hear that
on my birthday.

- - Mary. Mary.
- Yo, Mom, for real,

is this dude my father?

Father? Boy...


Oh, boy, yeah, that might...
he might be.

He does... Y'all know
I was a ho, though, right?

Y'all know I was
out in these streets?

- You was a ho.
- I wasn't selling it.

I should've been selling it.

In one of them
Fashion Nova dresses.

- 'Cause I was giving it away, for sure.
- Mary.

I've come back for my son.

To have him take his
rightful place on the throne.

Ain't nothing happening.

Zamunda, Wakanda, Connecticut...
I don't know where you from.

- Exactly.
- But I've been a force

in this boy's life
since he was born.


It is the boy's birthright.

I'm only giving him
an opportunity

to have a better life.

No. Hey, man, for real, look.

I don't know
who you think you are,

but I'm-a tell you
who I am, man.

I'm Lavelle Junson, a'ight?

And I don't need no handout.

Hmm? Wait a minute.

- Wait.
- My mistake.


Oh, my God.

Do the right thing.
Go ahead, boy.


Are those coins?
Are those gold bars?

There's cash.

Hey, yo, uh,

you know, I'm thinking, who am I

to say no to becoming a prince?

Ma, pack your bags, man. We out.

Amen! Okay, so do I get my own
hut with my private shaman?

We are only offering to take
Lavelle back to Zamunda.

Ain't happening like that, man.

I'm not hopping on some plane,

flying across the world
without my mother.

All right? She coming.

- So be it.
- So be it.

- So be it.
- And so it is. A'ight.

- I'm-a go pack.
- Okay, baby.

Hey, Mary, you just gonna leave?

Y'all know my PlayStation
ain't going nowhere.

I mean, what about
all your stuff?

It all sucks! Y'all can have it.

Inform General Izzi that I have
retrieved my son from America.

Yes, Your Majesty.

Hey, we packed.


Yes, the limousine is waiting
for you right downstairs.

- Limo? We got a limo, man.
- What's that? Limo!

I ain't been
in a limo since '00.

- Hey. What's up?
- What's up, fellas?

How y'all doing? Y'all so cute.

Do you think Lisa
will be understanding?

What is not to understand?

You lied to me!

I did not exactly lie to you.

This reeks of Semmi.

Ah, well, I don't want
to shift blame,

but, yeah, it...
yes, you're right

when you assume that Semmi had
something to do with this.

I should've known about this.

I did not know what to do.

I was only trying to do
what is right.

For our family or for Zamunda?


You have an illegitimate son.

You wouldn't be
the first king to have one.

That is true.

Besides, we hadn't even met yet.

Exactly. We hadn't met yet.
It's not like I cheated on you.

This happened
before we even met.

And it's not like you're the
first man I've ever been with.

Right, I...
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What did you just say
about the other men?

So I guess, uh,

you didn't really do
anything wrong, did you?

It was a totally honest mistake
that can happen to anyone

whose best friend introduced him
to a strange woman

who drugged him
and had sex with him.

But what did you say...
the other men

that you were with, the...

From here on out,

I'm gonna need you
to be honest with me.

- No more surprises.
- I promise.

No more surprises, my sweet.

Never again shall there be
another surprise.

Ooh, ooh! What?!

Look at this foyer!

I got to get
some shots for the Gram.


- Oh, my goodness!
- Hashtag "family"!

That's the last surprise.

- Hey! What's up, y'all?
- Hey!

What's up, fam?

Look, I'm gonna hug you
'cause I'm a hugger.

Hey, Queen!

I'm sorry I slept with your man.

It's okay. It's okay.

- What is going on here?
- Oh, children.

Children, I would love for you
to meet your brother.

Uh, Lavelle, uh,
Princess Tinashe.

Tinashe, this is your
bastard brother from America.

And, Princess Omma,

this is your
bastard brother from America.

Now, this is my eldest daughter,
Princess Meeka.

Meeka, this is your bast...

Bastard brother. They know.

I think they get the idea.
So, how you doing?

And my name is Mary.
How you doing?

Just call me your second mom.

But you really
don't have to, girls.

I mean, but you should, though,
'cause I kind of am.

Well, look at us.

Just one big, happy

aristocratic blended family.

Ah, just like the Kardashians!

And that is the story
of the bunny and the bear.

Good class today, children.

Okay, go play now.

Play with your grenades
and your Kalashnikov.

Sifo, don't mess with the sarin.

Okay? It is dangerous.

General Izzi,
we have just been informed

King Akeem has returned
from America with a son.

A son?

A son.

I am so hungry,

I could eat the ass
out of a zebra.

So, Lavelle,
what did you do in Queens

before you found out
you were a prince?

Oh, I wasn't doing that much,
you know what I mean?

Just sort of, like,
in between opportunities.

- You know?
- Let me tell you something, baby.

- Hmm?
- You a prince now. Okay?

And one day,
all this is gonna be yours.

This long-ass table,
all this food,

this whole damn kingdom.

I always thought that Meeka
was going to be queen.

A woman isn't
allowed to rule Zamunda.

It's the law.

So it's going to be this guy?

I have lost my appetite.



So, um, is anybody gonna tell me

why these mashed potatoes
is black?

It's caviar.

- It's cava-what?
- Caviar, Mom.

You know, our cousin named that.

You sure you're
in the right room?

Mm, Lisa, please.
I'm getting it from everywhere.

Meeka is so upset.

Did it ever occur to you
that maybe

Meeka might have wanted
to be your heir?

She's practically trained for it
her whole life.

This boy would not have been
my first choice,

but what can I do?

He is my firstborn, my only son,

and you know the law.

That is not you talking.

That is your father.

Good night.

Uh, Lisa, I was, uh, wondering,

uh, I just recently returned
from a trip

that was most tiresome,
and I thought maybe, perhaps,

if you were in the mood...

Yeah, perhaps it was
poor timing on my behalf

to even suggest such a thing.

Good night, my sweet.

Uh, s-sweet dreams, my sweet.

This is bullshit.


Good morning.

♪ We got the moves ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ We got the moves... ♪

Good morning, Zamunda...!

♪ We got the moves... ♪


- Oh!
- Good morning, my prince.

"My prince." I like that.

Would you like us to bathe you?

Bathe me?


♪ Measuring my shoe size,
you gonna need a ruler ♪

♪ Got the crowd gettin' hype
all night, never lose, bruh ♪

♪ We got the moves, hey ♪

All three of you?

♪ We got the moves ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ We cannot lose... ♪



Okay. All right, well...

I'll be... I'll be right back.



Oh, hey. Hey, hey, look, um...

I'm freaking out right now
because these three girls,

they in my room right now, and
they just offered to bathe me.

Okay, baby, first of all,
calm down.

You know we in another country.

And you know they have
different traditions

and customs,
the way that they do stuff.

You need to roll with it.
This is a princely thing.

They bathe you, okay?

- Yes.
- So be a prince.

"Be a prince."

- Now, you go enjoy that bath.
- All right.

- All right, Ma. Thank you.
- Go get washed.

♪ We got the moves ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ We got the moves... ♪

The royal privates
are clean, ma'am.


Just one more time,
just-just to make sure.

♪ Hey ♪

♪ We got the moves ♪

♪ Yeah. ♪


Good morning,
Your Royal Highness.

My name is Mirembe.

I will be your royal groomer.

Please allow me the honor

of trimming
your most precious hairs.


The ones atop your head, sir.

- Precious head of hair. Okay. All right.
- Yes.

Surely, the royal bathers
have cleansed you thoroughly,

judging by the smile
on your face.

Now, please sit back and relax.


Yo! Man, look at you.

- You look beautiful.
- Thank you.

- And you look so fre...
- Right? Right?

- Right?
- What's this? What's this?

Oh, yeah, I got a royal barber,
and she hooked me up.

- We got to go.
- Right. Got that thing.

Presenting Lavelle Junson
of Queens!

And my moms.

And his moms.

Oh, hey, baby's daddy king.

Step-mama queen, what up?

Mother, don't you have
a dress like that?

Thank you for the borrow.

The royal tailors had to add

some extra material
to make it fit.

You got a dope closet, baby.

And who told you
you could go through my closet?

Well, well, I was just thinking,
since we're related,

uh, maybe that we could share
a couple of...

Why your mama so uppity?

What is "uppity"?

I am not uppity.

Uppity bitch say what?


You said it.

We do that in Queens.

I cannot stress how important
it is that you're here

right now at this moment.

For educational purposes.

At any moment,
a world leader can come

bursting through the door
with some pressing,

uh, time-sensitive propositions.

General Izzi, what a totally
unexpected surprise.

King Akeem, I have come
to give you congratulations

for locating
one of your lost sperm.

I too wonder about
my own stray bullets.

Thank you for your kind words.

Ah, but I've not come
with just words.

I came with a gift
for your new prince.

With your permission,
King Akeem.

My permission is granted.

I would like to

present to you
my daughter, Bopoto!

♪ Hey-hey, hey-hey ♪

♪ Hey-hey. ♪

♪ Wa... hoo ♪

♪ How can I put this in a way ♪

♪ So as not to offend
or unnerve... ♪

Oh, that's my song!

- That's her song.
- That's Prince!

That's her song.

♪ That you ain't been
gettin' served ♪

♪ They say that you ain't
you-know-what ♪

♪ In, baby, who knows how long ♪

♪ It's hard for me
to say what's right ♪

♪ When all she wants to do
is wrong ♪

♪ Get off ♪

♪ 23 positions
in a one-night stand ♪

- ♪ Get off ♪
- ♪ I'll only call you ♪

♪ After you say I can ♪

♪ Get off ♪

♪ Let a woman be a woman
and a man be a man ♪

♪ Get off ♪

♪ If you want me,
baby, here I am ♪

♪ Here I am ♪


Look here, boy. Look here.

Pay attention to me.
You know this song.

You go put some purple
on that ho!

Do it for our country.

♪ One, two, three,
nah, little cutie ♪

- ♪ I ain't drinkin' ♪
- ♪ Get off ♪

♪ Scope this,
I was just thinkin' ♪

♪ You plus me, what a ride ♪

♪ If you was thinkin' the same,
we can continue outside ♪

♪ Lay your pretty body
against a parking meter ♪

♪ Strip your dress down
like I was stripping a Peter ♪

♪ Paul's Almond Joy ♪

♪ Let me show you, baby,
I'm a talented boy. ♪

What's up?

King Akeem, shall we join
our families in marriage

under one flag

by uniting your bastard
with my Bopoto?


as you know, I have
very, very strong opinions

when it comes
to arranged marriages.

True love is the bedrock
of my kingdom.

But if this is something
that Lavelle desires,

who am I to stand in his way?

- Wait, what?
- Father.

Lavelle, is this what you want?

Yeah. I'm 'bout it.

Then it is settled!

Then let us proceed!

A semiautomatic shotgun wedding
it will be!

Remember your father's
final words.

The boy must pass
the princely test.

To forget the princely test
would be to spit in the faces

of the great Joffers
who have come before you.

Whose auntie is this?

I give you a week.

I wouldn't want to go back
to plotting your death.


- Zoot!
- What's "zoot"?

Y'all leaving?
Does that mean "leave"?

I'll see you in one week,
my prince.


- Father, can we talk about this?
- There is nothing to talk about.

Nexdoria is our greatest threat.

To broker a peace hinging on
the testosterone-clouded whims

of a son you barely even know
is foolish.

I said there is
nothing to talk about.

This is ZNN.

Good evening, my neighbors.

I'm Totatsi Bibinyana.

In a most promising twist,

the Zamunda News Network
has confirmed

that King Akeem has a son.

While it is too early
to determine

whether the boy possesses
any strength, intelligence

or capability whatsoever,

what we do know
is that he is a man.

And as far as Zamundan royalty
is concerned,

that's good enough.

The princely test
has three parts.

- Okay. Uh-huh.
- Culture,

critical thinking and,
more importantly, courage.

Where do we begin?

Teach the young prince
how to walk like royalty.

That is what we will do.

We will teach you
how to walk like a prince.

Yo, what's wrong
with the way I walk now?

You walk like an American pimp.

You dress like
a slave from the future.

Old Jar Jar Binks lookin' ass.

Here, in this hall,

you will come face-to-face
with your Zamundan heritage.

Let us begin.

Jompu Joffer.


- Jakoof Joffer.
- Jujkoof...

Mighty Jokeim Joffer,

the most handsome
of all the Joffers.

Clench your backside.

- Put your shoulders back.
- Mm-hmm.

- Put your chin up.
- Mm-hmm.

Suck in your stomach
and walk thusly.

Now? Walk? Okay.

- This is a regal gait.
- Okay.

Stop! Don't...

Tuck in your backside.

And who is this?

Uh, that's Jappa Joffer.

- No.
- Jabba the Hutt Joffer.

- No.
- Jumpin' Jack Flash Joffer.


- Gerald Levert Joffer?
- No.

- Jimmie "JJ" Walker Joffer?
- No.

- Jabberwocky Joffer.
- No.

James Brown Joffer.


All right, y'all,
what am I doing out here?

I'm hungry. I'm...

I-I'm late for my bath.
What am I looking for?


Oh! That's a damn lion, bruh!

Only when you can retrieve
the whiskers from a resting lion

will you be ready
to become prince.

This is a joke.

This is a joke, 'cause I know

your soft ass ain't never
do nothing like that.

Oh, yes, I did.

- On my very first attempt.
- Well...

Yes. First attempt. Very brave.

You will need the courage
of all your ancestors...

A machete? A rocket launcher?
What you got?

...and the cunningness
of your Western ways.

And these.

Thank you.

Ain't this a bitch.

I just don't belong here.

You are the son
of the king of Zamunda.

You come from a long line
of Joffers, and...

I come from a long line
of broke-ass nobodies.

What the hell I was thinking
that I could have this?

Or any of it?

Hey, for real, just...
cut this off, all right?

Just cut it off.

You want to get rid of
the royal princely braid?

Well, this is fair.

To be honest, it wasn't
a great look on you.

Just one of the many
backward Zamundan traditions.

Hell yeah.

How long have you felt that way?
You know how itchy this is?

It's a rat tail.

And what's up
with y'all and lion whiskers?

Like, be for real...
what's up with that?

Hey, yo, I-I can't do this
right now, man.

Yo, look where I'm at.

I'm not supposed to be here.

You know, my whole life,
I had dreams

that my pops
would show up and take

me and my mom away
to a whole new life.

And come to find out,
he's a king.

To a whole damn country.

And the only way
to meet his expectations

is to walk with a stick
up my ass or get myself killed.

This-this ain't my way, Mirembe.

And I-I-I can't... I can't be
what he wants me to be.

Then perhaps
be not as King Akeem

but as Prince Akeem.

Ain't that the same brother?

You haven't heard the story.

Everyone in Zamunda knows

the legend of Prince Akeem

in the land of Queens.

Prince Akeem was
a dutiful prince

and loyal son of Zamunda.

Hello, Babar.

But he believed that a man

must walk his own path
and follow his heart.

I intend to find my bride.

What is wrong
with the one you have now?

Bark like a dog.

I want a woman that's going to

arouse my intellect
as well as my loins.

He flew across the sea

to find his true love.

Now there,

in the barbaric land of Queens

did Prince Akeem battle
bug-eyed burglars,

foul-mouthed barbers

and sexist men of the cloth

to win the heart
of his true love,

Lisa McDowell of Queens.

♪ To be loved, to be loved ♪

♪ Oh, what a feeling ♪

♪ To be loved... ♪

The wedding was grand

and beautiful and magical.

A new dawn had arised
in Zamunda,

a new sense of hope

and change.

King Akeem...

may have forgotten his story,

but the people of Zamunda
have not.

Walk your own path.

Be not the prince of Zamunda.

Be the prince from Queens.

Lavelle Junson of Queens.

- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ Haters gonna hate ♪

♪ Fakers gonna fake,
breakers gonna break ♪

♪ Neophytes gonna
make mistakes ♪

♪ Sleepers gotta wake,
I'm-a say it again ♪

♪ I'm-a say it loud,
give me a group, not one man ♪

♪ To smash the crowd, we... ♪

If it pleases Your Majesty,

I present to you Kareem Junson,

aka Uncle Reem,

my royal consigliere.

That's Italian
for "mack daddy mentor."

You need no other teacher
than your king and your father.

No, no, no, no. See, you watch
your bottom lip, money grip,

'cause you understand,
while y'all was out here

riding elephants
and chasing Tarzan,

I was schooling this boy
on the streets of Queens.

- All right, well, that's...
- No, 'cause he don't know me.

- You do not know me.
- No, you don't know me.

You do not know me.

- You don't know me.
- I will cut you.

Enough of this.

Uncle Reem of Queens...
you're welcome in my kingdom.

Come on.

Benson, y'all got
some crab cakes, man?

I need some protein.

- Who is Benson?
- Benson is you.

Hold up. Hold up.

Let me get my Spotify
on deck real quick.

Let's rock.

You ain't said nothing
but a thing.

See his feet?

- Yes.
- See where his hand at?

- Mm-hmm.
- See how he moving?

Yes. There's a fluidity to it.

Yeah, it's like Bruce Lee said,
"Be like water."

That's Hebbe Joffer.

Legend has it
he could speak to animals,

and people thought he was crazy

until he made a giraffe
do the Electric Slide.

It appears a royal wedding

may soon be upon us.

For more on this,
we are joined by Semmi.

Good to see you, Totatsi.

According to our ZNN source
inside the palace,

we are hearing... and I quote...

"The boy been balling
on this princely-ass test

ever since his handsome
and mad smart uncle showed up."

That is absurd, Totatsi.
Who is your source?

What the deal? What the deal?

Palace life for me.

Who do you think you are, Reem,

going behind the king's back?

- You keep talking slick...
- G-Gentlemen.

...and when my man
is running this place,

you gonna go from
royal ass kisser

- to royal ass wiper.
- No, no.

- I will do no such thing.
- Please, g-gent...

Yeah, well,
I eat a lot of fried food,

so don't come at me with

- anything less than two-ply.
- Oh!

♪ I'm a queen, I'm a queen,
I'm a queen, I'm a queen ♪

♪ Ain't nothing move
if they ain't got me ♪

♪ I'm a queen, I'm a queen,
I'm a queen... ♪


♪ Run my bathwater, run the
kingdom, run it smarter... ♪

Oh, that's right. Ooh!

- I believe I have it now.
- Don't hurt nobody.

Yeah, you got something.

- Now let me hear you say, "Hey, ho."
- I don't know...

- Hey, ho.
- That's right.

That's how we do it
in Queens, though.

- Hey, ho.
- Oh, no, no, no, no.

No, don't do that.
That's his mother.

- Oh, don't say it to...
- No, not to his mother.

- You obese American, you.
- No.

Yeah, for 25 cents a day,

I could sponsor-feed
your scrawny ass.

Go to hell, you Western weasel!

- Yo, well, why don't you go?
- Make me.

You know something? Then I will.

You cholesterol dumpster fire,

I... o-okay, okay.

Totatsi! Call the guards!

Let us, let us go
for a short break.


That's Forest Whitaker.

I'm joking. That's not...

That one is Tunde Joffer.

Uh, he's the reason why
the Zamundans migrated

from the north to the east.

He's doing pretty good.


♪ I'm a queen, I'm a queen,
I'm a queen, I'm a queen ♪

♪ Ain't nothing move
if they ain't got me, ay ♪

♪ I'm a queen, I'm a queen,
I'm a queen. ♪

There is but one test
that remains:

retrieving the whiskers
from a lion.

How will you conquer your fear?

I'm not.

It's a damn lion.

Well, I found it is helpful
to think of them

as just being big house cats.


Just big house cats?

When'd you figure that out?

Was that on your tenth
or 11th try?

I know not what you speak of.

I was successful my first time,

- just like my father.
- Jaffe Joffer.

- And his father before him.
- Jappa Joffer.

Very good. Very good!

Oh, watch.

- Oh, shit!
- Oh, do not be alarmed.

This Babar, he is my friend.

I have known him
since he was a small elephant.

Let him pass. Move.

- Let him pass.
- All right.

Come through, Babar, my friend.

Babar, the magnificent one.

I have known him
since he was a little elephant,

and now he is a father, as well.

- Wow.
- The great one!

I must admit,
your manner and your style

is foreign to my kingdom,
but it is impressive.

Yeah? Damn, I'm just
trying to be like you.

You know what I mean?

You know, Mirembe,
my royal barber,

told me the story that your pops

wanted you to marry
a Nexdorian girl,

so you bounced to Queens to find
a wife on your own terms.

I wanted to find
more than a wife.

To find someone that
I connected with on every level.

Someone who knew
where I was coming from

even though we came from
entirely two different places.

And one might say I was
looking for myself, as well.

Get some rest, my son.

Thanks, Pops.

He looks hungry.

You can see it in how
he walks low to the ground.

Look, man, you haven't liked me
since I got here,

and I get that,
but ain't my fault

your dad knocked up my mom and
dragged my ass back to Africa.

Well, no one is
asking you to stay.

It's all good, little sis.
All good.

I'll be gone in a minute,
'cause I'm about to be

- eaten by a lion!
- I hope so!

- Fine! Fine!
- Fine!

You really think
I'm gonna fail, don't you?

I have never said that...

out loud.

You ain't got to.

It's that look.

Been getting that look
my entire life.

People writing me off
'cause of the way I talk

or where I'm from.

But you got no idea
what I'm talking about.

'Cause you a princess.

Princesses can be written off
just as much as anyone.

I have been preparing
my whole life

to be standing where you are
in this moment.

But you are right.

It is not fair
for me to blame you

for my father's mistake.

Not that you are a mistake.

- Well, you kind of are a mistake.
- Okay.

I get it, I get it. A'ight.


Perhaps the test has
nothing to do with bravery.

The tests are also a challenge
of the mind.

♪ Go big, go big ♪

♪ Go big, go big,
go big, go big ♪

♪ Go big, go big ♪

♪ How big? Real big ♪

♪ Sumo, fat crib
in the background ♪

♪ Ad-lib, I'm in
the front row... ♪

So, in sales, it's called
a bait and switch.

So, the customer thinks
that they're buying something

at half off,
so they come flocking,

waving their wallets,
just hungry to buy something,

but by the time they get there,

you sell 'em the upgrade
at double the price.

Yes. It is the same
as a technique

we use in battle
called the feigned withdrawal.

An army retreats
with the sole intention

of drawing the enemy out
and ambushing him.

So, what, in this scenario,
I'm-I'm the retreating army?

No, you are the bait to switch.

- ♪ Say he winning, he lied ♪
- ♪ Lied ♪

- ♪ I don't blame him, he tried ♪
- ♪ Tried ♪

- ♪ I'm so fl-fl-fly ♪
- ♪ I'm fly ♪

- ♪ I don't walk, I glide ♪
- ♪ Glide ♪

- ♪ Don't need ice, we slide ♪
- ♪ We slide ♪

♪ Don't need ice, we slide ♪

- ♪ We slide ♪
- ♪ I put in the time ♪

- ♪ Time ♪
- ♪ Not like apple pie, sweet ♪

♪ Go big, go big ♪

♪ Go big, go big,
go big, go big ♪

♪ Go big, go big. ♪

This ain't right.

My nephew could be eaten
by a man-eating lion!

Besides, what kind of kingdom
is this?

I don't see no Lunchables or
no lunch trays up here, nothing!



Run! Run!

Trust me, don't look back!

Just keep running!
Keep running! Run!

Keep running!

No, no. No!

He's trapped. I must save him.


Wait, Father.


What is this?

What is this?

What every dangerous
house cat likes.

Cat food.

I got 'em. Mm-hmm.

He is almost ready
to become a prince.

Wait, almost?

It is time for umbajuntoo.

- Umbajuntoo!
- Umbajuntoo!

Uh, what's-what's, uh...

Ceremonial circumcision.


That mean they're gonna
sharpen your tool, nephew.

- Hold him.
- Hey, yo, ain't got to restrain me. Yo...

- Hey, Ma, tell 'em we already did this!
- That's okay, baby.

We love it here, right?

Let them take a little bit
off the top.

These are the foreskins
of your forefathers.

- Ew.
- Joffer Joffer.


Jappa Joffer.

Your great-grandfather.

Jaffe Joffer.

Your grandfather.

And King Akeem.


What are you...
Oh, what is wrong with you?

See, a potato.

They got you, baby!
They got you!

You just completed
the final princely test,

- the test of courage.
- Courage?

Need I remind you
I was face-to-face

with a man-eating lion?

For one to put
his member in danger

is also a test of courage, yes?

You are willing to sacrifice
what is most sacred.

My penis?

Your pride.

Lavelle Junson of Queens,

I hereby crown you

the prince of Zamunda.

Okay, so you thought
the best response was

to let them cut it off?

I was doing whatever it took.

Like what, exactly?

Well, to prove myself.

You know, like,
I-I never really got

the chance to do that back home.

As you were.

I take it you are growing
accustomed to a palace life.

I mean...

aside from some insane rituals
y'all have here,

I suppose life here
ain't too bad.

- Well, there are certain disadvantages.
- Uh-huh.

- I mean, have you seen a Zamundan movie?
- Mm-mm.

Total baboon dung.

So, what, like, nothing
over a 30% on Rotten Papayas?


American cinema is the best.

The best? That is, like,

the most blasphemous thing
I've ever heard.

What do we have
besides superhero shit,

uh, remakes and-and sequels
to old movies nobody asked for?

This is true about sequels.

If something is good...

...why ruin it?


- Although there are exceptions.
- Like what?

Are you familiar
with the Barbershop series?

- Am I familiar with...
- Look at me.

Of course I'm familiar
with the Barbershop series.

My favorite spin-off is
the one with Queen Latifah.

Yeah, but that's not Barbershop.

That's Beauty Shop.

To-mah-to, to-may-to.

Potato, papaya.

So, what,
American entertainment?

Is that our biggest difference?


there are certain freedoms
that exist outside of Zamunda.


Like what?

Okay, this is
going to sound stupid,

but it has always been
a dream of mine to...

to one day have
my own barbershop.

Yo, that's awesome.

Are you making fun of me?


Nah, I'm being dead-ass.

Do it.

I-I don't know anybody
who can work scissors like you.

Well, except
women are not allowed

to own businesses in Zamunda.

You serious?


That's not cool.

Well, I'm prince, right?

So, you know something?

As long as I'm prince,

I can promise you there's gonna
be some changes around here.

Well, that is very idealistic.

But every prince...

promises to do things

but eventually, they do things

the same way they've always
been done before.

Yeah, well, I'm not like
every other prince.


I'm a prince from Queens.

I wonder who told you that.


I should not have done that.

- I should not have done that.
- Wait. Wait, hold on.



I think it is best you go to bed
and get some rest.

Tomorrow is going to be
a very long day.

You are one step closer to...

marrying your princess.

Good night.

Presenting the crown prince
of Zamunda,

Prince Lavelle!

- King Akeem.
- Yes.

So wonderful to see you,


- Prince Lavelle.
- General Izzi.

Please, allow me to reintroduce

my daughter, Bopoto!

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey-hey ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey-hey ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

- ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey... ♪
- ♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh... ♪

My prince.

Perhaps you two should get to
know each other a little better.


♪ Good morning to the world
out there... ♪



Hey, dig this here.

Could I get two Crown Royals
for me and my royal compadre?


It means "friend."

I am Uncle Reem's friend.

Yes, you are.


How you doing? Hey, ladies.

How you doing? Mm.

I know I look good.

Mm, a makeover.

My hair is on point.

New dress. Who this?

Well, if you're
going to wear that dress,

then you should wear this.

♪ That we have in this life ♪

♪ These streets... ♪

Oh, my God.

Are you serious?

Yes. Turn around.

Oh, my goodness.


I can't believe it.
This is so beautiful.

I know you gonna want this back.

It's a gift.

You're family now.

- Let's go get drunk.
- What?

Yes, girl, me and you
'bout to turn it up.

Hey, bartender!

Let me have some of
your finest drink.

Two shots of chilled Cîroc.

So, uh... marriage.

It's a big step.

I will make you a happy prince.

What about you?

How can I make you
a happy princess?

What do you like?

Whatever you like.

Okay, I'll back up.

Uh, Bopoto,
what's your favorite movie?

Whatever is your favorite movie.

Uh... is there a goal you have?

Is-is there a business
that you want to start?

Whatever business
you'd like to start.

I want to have a connection
with the person

that I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life with.

But I am just a wife.

- Can you wait right here?
- Okay.

- But what shall I do?
- Just wait.

Right here.

I shall wait here.


♪ Stop what you're doing
'cause I'm about to ruin ♪

♪ The image and the style
that you're used to ♪

♪ I look funny, but, yo,
I'm making money, see ♪

♪ So, yo, world, I hope
you're ready for me ♪

♪ The Humpty Dance ♪

♪ Is your chance
to do the Hump ♪

♪ Uh, oh, do me, baby ♪

♪ Do the Humpty Hump,
do the Humpty Hump ♪

♪ Oh, do me, baby. ♪

Everything is coming out...

Hey, um, I don't mean
to interrupt,

but, Mutombo, do you mind
if I have a minute with her?

My bad, man.

No, no, no.

It's your party, Prince.

Come here, you gentle giant.


I need to talk to you.

There's nothing for us
to talk about.

Excuse me.

Yes, there is.

I don't want to marry her.

I want to be with you.

You and only you are
the reason why I'm a prince.

But, Lavelle...


My father...

he'll understand.

I'll be right back.

I must say, you are more like
your father than I thought.

Oh, really?
Why do you say that, General?

Snatching up this bastard boy
from America

and throwing him
into our kingly affairs...

like a chess pawn?

Your pawn just took
a future queen,

and now there can be peace.

And profit.

Well played, King Akeem.

Well played.

I need to find my mom.
I need to find my Uncle Reem.

We got to bust out
of this bullshit, man.

Wh-Why? Where are we going?


A home...

A home that we can build

Uh, where is Prince Lavelle?

My prince asked me to stay here
about an hour ago.

Prince Lavelle Junson was seen
fleeing with the royal groomer.

And he took his Uncle Reem

and that wretched woman
with him, as well.

Show respect.

She is still
the mother of my son.

She took the royal jet.

That thieving bitch.

King Akeem.

Where is your prince?

Ah, I do believe he has gone

for one of his, um,
evening strolls.

He does that from time to time
to clear his mind.


I hope he's not getting
cold feet.



Because I will be expecting
a wedding tomorrow.

Of course.

Wedding bells, wedding bells.

Everything that I have
done for him,

I can't believe
he has done this.

I make him a prince,
I give him a chance to finally

make something of himself,
and this is how he repays me!

I finally made
a friend from my own hood,

and now she's gone.

Oh, I'm-a miss her crazy ass.

He could've told me
about this groomer.

But, no, instead he runs off
to America without a word to me.

It is the most selfish act,
unworthy of a Joffer!

It is spineless!

Like father, like son.

What did you say?

- Uppity bitch say what?
- What?

You are intoxicated, my queen.

All kinds of
wiggity-wack stuff happens

when you are drunk and high,

including making babies

that you don't know
anything about.

Right now you are getting
very in and out of my pocket.

Are you trying to say
I'm out of pocket?

What I am saying is, when a
person is drunk, they may say

- something that they regret...
- So, whenever a woman

speaks her mind, including
our daughter, then you just... I suggest
you mind your tongue!

What happened to you, Akeem?

You were supposed to
change things.

You were supposed to bring this
kingdom to the 21st century,

but instead,
you push our daughter aside,

someone who has dedicated
her life to this country.

And because she's a woman,

she can't be your heir?

I cannot ignore
hundreds of years of tradition.

I am the ruler of this land.

I must be strong.

I get it.

You're the king.

Well, I'll tell you what.

There are a lot of other beds
in this castle.

I suggest you find another one.

Would you dare banish me
from my own bedroom?

Are you a fool?

Do you see me hopping on one leg
and barking like a dog?

What the hell is going on here?

He's in the back.

He's been here for hours.


How you doing, son?

I used to quite enjoy mopping.

It was simple,
and it made sense.

Every day, I have moved
closer to the comfort of life,

and now my eyes are open,

and the man that
I always wanted to be

is on the other side
of the world.


Yes, he has fleed to America
for love just as I did.

And now,
because of my stubbornness,

I have run off my own son.

Failed him as a father.

You're not just a father.

You're the king.

And heavy lies the head
that wears the crown.

Yes, I understand
that expression more now.

It's not so much the crown
that is so heavy.

It's everything
that comes with it. Hmm?

You've got your country to run

and a crazy-ass general
breathing down your neck.

And on top of all that,

you got to be
a husband and a father.

Yes, you can see
that is most troubling.

- Oh, I get it.
- Of course you get it.

You are the king
of your own castle.

And the troubles never stop,

When I introduced the McFlurby,

the McDonald's lawyers
came after me

the same way this General Izzi
is coming after you.

Cease-and-desist letters,
copyright infringement.

I mean, the McFlurby
is nothing like the McFlurry.

We put our toppings
on the bottom.

So you have to stay strong.

And you have to put
McDowell's first.

- I am McDowell's.
- And I am Zamunda.

It's not the Golden Arches.

It's the Golden Arcs.

And I'm the boss.

And I am the MF'ing king.

You damn right you are.

Cleo, thank you.

I much needed to hear
the wisdom of a father.

Well, I'm sure your father
would understand

- what you're going through.
- Yes.


What do you think
your mother would say now?

My mother?

The queen.

I always thought that she was
the wisest of all the Joffers.

What do you think
she would say to you now, son?

Zamundans, rise.

Prepare the royal jet.

I shall return to America

and retrieve
this errant child of mine.

General Izzi will return
in one day,

and if there's no wedding,
he most certainly will attack.

You stay here
and protect my family.

I'm no warrior, Your Majesty.

Remember who you are.

You are a son of Zamunda.

Be strong.

And I'll tell you
something else.

I only like redbone gals.

Oh, see, that's where we part.
I like my women Black.

I want a woman so Black,

when you make love,
you need a flashlight.

I'm looking for
the good stuff, man.

Hey! Mufasa!

Hey, I hear you got
your boy back.

My son has returned to Queens.

It is most urgent
that I find him.

You know, he was here
a little while ago

with a fine little, pretty
African thing. Wasn't she fine?

- Mm-hmm!
- Yeah, talking about getting her a job here.

Then they gonna
save up her money.

- Then she gonna get her own place.
- That's right.

I told her she could start
right now, she was so fine.

- That's right.
- But, she... they had to go off to their nuptials.


- Yeah.
- Where?

Near that Chinese restaurant

where I caught the runs
last Saturday.

- What?
- Oh, King Yum's.

I have no time for this.

That egg foo yong
made me have to stop off

at my sister's last week
and make an emergency dump.


I have no time to listen
to your stories

about your bowel movements.

Where is the ceremony?

- Church of Holy Jubilation.
- Thank you.

You're welcome.

Who the hell he think
he talking to? Coming in here...

Just 'cause he a king.
I got a dog named King.

Yeah, he ain't
the king of this shop.

- I'm the king of this shop.
- Exactly.

He was nicer
when he was a prince.

Is this a pious house of God?

If "pious" means cheap,
well, then you right.

This the best house of God
we could find

on a Tuesday afternoon.

So let's get these rings
on these fingers

before the all-day shrimp
ends at Sizzler's.

I don't even know why
they call it "all-day."

It ends at 6:00.

Look, baby,
it's about the love, okay?

Not the shrimp.

- What's a Sizzler?
- It's nothing.

I assume the prince has returned
from his midnight stroll

and is prepared
to marry my daughter.

My apologies, General.

Prince Lavelle is
currently indisposed.



I will not continue
to be jerked around

like a howler monkey

grazing in a field
of horny goat weeds.

Now, you tell me,
where is King Akeem?

All right.

Let's get hitched.

♪ Hallelu... ♪

Let there be light.


We are gathered here today

for the meeting
of these two beautiful souls,

pressed together
like a pair of sumptuous...


Yeah, Lord.

- Amen! Amen!
- Amen!

- Feel his presence?
- Yes, Father.

I can't wait to go home and...

Look, um, I just
want to apologize.

I know this isn't exactly the
wedding you've always imagined.

I don't know why
you would apologize.

I'd always imagined there'd be
a womanizing, sexist officiant

leading a very strange ceremony
in black socks.

It couldn't be more perfect.

- So nice, I want 'em to say it twice.
- Go on, preacher!


- Say it again.
- Amen, girl. - Hallelujah! Amen!

- Yes!
- Go on, girl!

- Yeah!
- That's right, girl.

You family now.

Take her.

Keep her as a prisoner

until King Akeem
gives me my answer.

- Zoot!
- Zoot!

Teach this girl some respect.


Take me to the Church
of the Holy Jubilation.

Sorry, pal. You're gonna
have to go into the app.

You can get a Lyft Lux.

It's rush hour surge pricing.

You might want
to look for a promo code.

Fighting is not for pretty girls
and princesses.

Your king and father
should have taught you

to be more polite,

not so nasty.


Defend yourself, you sweat
from a baboon's balls.


Perhaps now you would like

to solve your problems

Do I have your attention?

I'm listening.

Now it's time for
the main event, young folks.

Lavelle Junson, do you take...


Did you run here
all the way from Africa?

Lavelle, you cannot do this.

And you cannot turn your back
on your family.

- Family?! Let me tell you something!
- Oh!

- I raised that boy!
- You ain't gonna

run in here from Zamunda...

I know what I am to you!

I heard everything
General Izzi said to you.

Using me as a chess pawn, right?

- Lavelle, my son...
- Don't "son" me!

I'm gonna live my life
with the woman I love.

Ain't no castle
or mountain of gold

that's gonna stop me
from loving her.

And I'm-a try my hardest
to make her happy.

Now, do you or do you not
understand that?

I do.

Long ago, I had your spirit.

I may not have been
as brave as you, Lavelle Junson,

but I know true love.

When I told my mother that
my true love was my Queen Lisa,

she urged me to go to her,

just as you have for your bride.

The burdens of my country
are not yours to carry.

And if you want to stay here
in Queens and marry

this fine Zamundan woman,
I shall not stand in your path.

I've been ruled by fear
for far too long.

It's time for me to start
becoming my own king.

My own man.

Just as you did, my son.

So, please excuse my intrusion.
Carry on, please.

Oh, wait, wait,
we into overtime now.

I need 200 more dollars.

What you need is to start this
ceremony before I come up there

- and beat your...
- Mary, Mary, if our son

wants to be married
in this glorious house of...

in-in this glorious house...

This is a house of God,
isn't it?

More like a crack house of God.

Ah. Then it shall be

as magnificent
as a palace ceremony.

Come. Sit.

Yes, continue.

This doesn't feel right.

You don't want to get married?

No, I'm not saying
I-I don't want to get married.

Then what?

Zamunda's my home.

It is my pride and my joy.

And what about your sisters?

You think they don't need you?

Well, um...

...maybe we should get married
at the palace.

But what about your people here?

What about the land of Queens?


Hear me now.

I am King Akeem Joffer,

and I'm bestowed
with great power.

I shall bring Queens to Zamunda!


That's what I'm talking about.

They still wear silk.

Where the hell is Zamunda?

♪ Someone to care ♪

♪ Someone to share ♪

♪ Lonely hours ♪

♪ And moments of despair ♪

- ♪ To be loved, to be loved ♪
- ♪ To be loved, to be loved ♪

♪ Oh, what a feeling ♪

♪ To be loved ♪

♪ Someone to kiss ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ Someone to miss ♪

♪ When you're away ♪

♪ To hear from each day ♪

- ♪ To be loved ♪
- ♪ To be loved... ♪

I will always do
what is right for Zamunda.

That is my oath as king.

And I promise you,

I shall always do
what is right for our family.

That is my oath to you,


my queen.

♪ Oh, what a feeling ♪

♪ To be loved. ♪

♪ Hey, what's up... ♪

Presenting the crown prince
of Zamunda,

Prince Lavelle,

and his bride, Princess Mirembe.

♪ You're the one I want, oh ♪

♪ Before my liver
start to fail ♪

♪ You're the one I need, oh ♪

♪ Before cassava start to hail ♪

♪ And if I ever leave, oh ♪

♪ Make water carry me
dey go far away ♪

♪ Far away ♪

♪ So I am looking for a sister ♪

♪ Chioma, my lover ♪

- ♪ She get the dollar ♪
- ♪ Dollar ♪

♪ She dey wear designer ♪

♪ Love is sweet, oh... ♪

I think my kingdom was safer
with me gone and you in charge.

I simply acted as my father
and king has instructed.

And that is why
I've issued a decree to Baba.

When I am gone,

Meeka Joffer shall rule
as queen.

- But the laws.
- Will change.

With more changes to come
with your guidance.

And what about Prince Lavelle?

Prince Lavelle shall serve
as an ambassador to America.

Thank you.

And as your brother.

Forgive an old fool.

Old fool
who loves you very much.

- Hi. How y'all doing?
- This is Mary.

Y'all look good tonight.

Hey. How you doing?

Girl, you is making
a statement with that.

- You is making a statement.
- Thank you.

King Akeem.

Love has once again triumphed
in Zamunda.

Oh, children,
you can go and play.

Go dance.
Shake your booties off.

I hear the trade routes have
reopened between our nations.

Yes. It will be a prosperous

and peaceful time
for us old heads.

I want to thank you
for releasing my sister

from her canine curse.

Yeah, give it up!
Give it up for Davido!

My man.

All right, all right.

Where are my people
from Zamunda at?

Dig all that. Okay, now,
where my people from Queens at?


- Yeah!
- Hey, right here!

- We in the house!
- In the building!

- In the building!
- We in Zamunda!

Well, I can dig that, too.

We're about to fix it into overdrive, okay?

First of all, shout-out
to King Akeem and his family

for bringing my favorite artist
back to Africa...

Who is it? Who is it?

- Wait, Kendrick Lamar?
- No.

All right, we gonna
take this old-school now, okay?

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

- Mary J. Blige.
- No.

- Diana Ross!
- Nope.

He's my cousin.
He's also my inspiration.

Okay? He's the wind
beneath my wings.

Don't play.

Who could be better
than Diana Ross? Tell me!

- Oh, you'll see.
- Okay, I want y'all

to put your hands together
for Randy Watson!

Randy Watson in here?!

- And his band...
- Oh, Lord.

...Sexual Chocolate!

♪ Everyone can see ♪

♪ We're together ♪

- ♪ As we walk on by ♪
- ♪ Ay ♪

♪ And we tight just like
birds of a feather ♪

- ♪ Well, I won't tell no lie ♪
- ♪ We ♪

♪ All of the people
around me, they say ♪

♪ Can they be that close? Ha! ♪

♪ Just let me state
for the record ♪

That boy good.

♪ We're giving love ♪

♪ In a family dose, whoo ♪

♪ We are family ♪

♪ I got Sexual Chocolate
with me ♪

Feel me, now.

I just want to tell you
that every Sunday

I take my mama
to get a McFlurby.

I love you, Cleo.

♪ Get up, everybody, and sing ♪

And now, ladies and gentlemen,
without any further ado,

I give you Fresh Peaches
and Sugar Cube!

♪ My name is Peaches,
and I'm the best ♪

♪ All the DJs want
to feel my breasts ♪

♪ Still got the looks,
still got the sass ♪

♪ Been 30 years,
and I still got ass ♪

Play that saxophone.

It's a party over here!

Party over here!


God woke me up
early this morning.

- ♪ Yes, he did... ♪
- He said, if you ain't got

somebody to love, go out
and find somebody to love.

- ♪ Find somebody to love ♪
- 'Cause life's about love.

- ♪ Life's about love ♪
- And life's about family.

- ♪ Life's about family ♪
- Amen.

- ♪ Amen ♪
- Randy Watson.

- ♪ Randy Watson's my name ♪
- Take us home.

♪ Take us home, now ♪

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

♪ I got Sexual Chocolate
with me... ♪

- Hey.
- What say you, brother?

Would you like to leave all this
and go back to Queens?

♪ Get up, everybody, and sing ♪

♪ We are family ♪

♪ I got Sexual Chocolate
with me ♪


♪ We are family ♪

Go, Uncle Reem!

♪ Get up, everybody, and sing ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ We are family ♪

♪ I got Sexual Chocolate
with me ♪

♪ Sexual Chocolate ♪

♪ We are family ♪

♪ Get up, everybody, and sing ♪

♪ We are family ♪

♪ I got Sexual Chocolate
with me ♪

♪ We are family ♪

♪ Yes, we are ♪

♪ Get up, everybody, and sing. ♪

One time.

Two times.

Three times.

♪ Oh, say, can you see ♪

♪ I'm coming to America ♪

♪ Come and walk
the yellow brick road ♪

♪ Feel the rush of platinum
and gold in America ♪

♪ In America ♪

♪ They tell me
it's the land of the free... ♪

It seems that the last time I...

I only recently discov...

I can do that better.

Bastard child here.

- Let's cut.
- Cutting.

...inherited your father's
unforgiving memory.

Who you talking to?

Get that stupid look
off your face.

I'm trying to rouse the lion.


Got the whiskers.

They from a lion.

Look at that.

That's my thing.

Acting mine, that's good.

He has already ordered
your exla... Shit.

- My ex-lax?
- Cut.

- Line.
- Reset!

I've been a, uh...

Ah, boy. Oh, my bad.

I would nothing more...
I would...

Let's do it again.

♪ I'll be gone on a flight
with my own entourage ♪

♪ Money no be problem
'cause I'm royal ♪

♪ Royal ♪

- ♪ Royal ♪
- ♪ Royal ♪

♪ And anywhere I go, me no need
no introduction or permission ♪

- ♪ 'Cause I'm royal ♪
- ♪ Royal ♪

- ♪ Royal ♪
- ♪ Royal ♪

♪ To do what I want... ♪

Is anybody gonna tell me why
these mashed potatoes is black?

You damn right you are.

Thank you.

♪ I must leave,
but soon I'll return to you ♪

♪ Now I'm on my way
to America ♪ -

♪ Oh, say, can you see ♪

♪ I'm coming... ♪

Vacations were canceled,
holidays ignored.

People didn't even...
Wait a minute.

What was that line?

Master of disaster!

Punisher of infidel!

The midnight train to Georgia.

Ow! Shit!

I'm sorry.

He actually
kicked me in the ass.

I kicked you in the leg.
Come on.

That wasn't no accident.

♪ Coming to America. ♪

♪ She's your ♪

♪ Queen to be ♪

♪ A queen to be forever ♪

♪ A queen who'll do whatever ♪

♪ His Highness desires ♪

♪ She's your queen to be ♪

♪ A vision of perfection ♪

♪ An object of affection ♪

♪ To quench your royal fire ♪

♪ Completely free ♪

♪ From infection ♪

♪ To be used
at your discretion ♪

♪ Waiting only ♪

♪ For your direction ♪

♪ Your queen to ♪

♪ Be. ♪

Good night, Zamunda!

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey-hey ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey-hey ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

- ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
- ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey-hey. ♪

♪ Africa. ♪

Way down in the jungle deep,

the lion stepped on
the signified monkey's feet.

The monkey said, "Hey,
you bastard, can't you see?

You're standing on
my goddamn feet!"

Hey, what is this, velvet?