Come to Daddy (2019) - full transcript
A man in his thirties travels to a remote cabin to reconnect with his estranged father.
[takes deep breath]
[waves crashing]
[takes deep breath]
[knocks on door]
[knocks on door]
[wind chimes tinkling]
[door unlocks]
Dad, it's me, Norval.
Uh, I got your letter.
Your letter asking me
to come and see you.
Well...
here I am.
It's me. Norval.
- [gasps] Mm.
- Okay.
Jesus Christ.
I never thought
I'd see you again.
[chuckles]
Well, you wanna come in?
Yes, please.
[dad] Welcome to my house.
[Norval] I like it.
[dad scoffs]
You don't.
[Norval] I do.
[dad] Why?
Uh, it's like a UFO
from the 1960's.
A UFO from the 1960's.
[Norval] Yeah.
A UFO from the 1960's.
Exactly.
That's brilliant.
Yeah.
When did I last see you, son?
[Norval] I don't know.
Oh, come on.
How long's it been?
A long time.
A long time, yeah.
Too long.
[dad] Too fucking long.
God damn.
- Yeah. Mm.
- [dad clears throat]
Yeah.
Let's get you unpacked.
Hey.
Let's get a picture of us.
You know, a selfie photo?
You can show it to your mom
when you get home.
Oh.
No, no. You gotta get
the sea in there.
- Come on, here.
- [Norval] Uh, careful.
That's a limited edition
gold phone,
designed by Lorde.
[dad] Lorde?
never heard of him.
[Norval] It's real gold.
There we go.
How about that, huh?
Okay. Smile.
- [camera clicks]
- [Norval] Oh, shit.
- [dad] Well...
- [Norval] Fuck.
Well, I should've never had
that second beer for breakfast.
There are only twenty
of those phones in the world.
[dad] Yeah.
No. Now there's nineteen.
[wind chimes tinkling]
[thudding]
So, how's your mother?
Not great, actually.
Oh?
She ever talk about me?
Not really.
[dad] You live with her?
Yeah,
it's a temporary arrangement.
[dad] You don't feel
embarrassed about that?
Living with your mom?
At your age?
I don't know.
I've had a rough few years.
She helped me get me
back on my feet.
- It's complicated.
- [thud]
[dad] You sleep with her?
What?
[dad] Do you share a bed
with your mom?
No.
[dad laughs]
[sizzling]
[dad] Yeah.
[chuckles]
- Wine?
- [Norval] No, thanks.
Oh, go on. Have a drink
with your old man.
I... I don't drink.
No?
Why is that?
I've had what's called
"alcohol dependency issues".
[dad] Yeah?
And that is, uh...
It's when you're dependent
on alcohol.
I nearly...
I wrote a note, I ran a bath...
I came close.
Really fucking close.
Anyway, here I am. I survived.
[dad] Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
[slurps]
Mm, wow.
Tempted?
No.
[music playing]
So, Dad...
what do you do?
For work?
[dad] I'm retired.
What did you do
before you retired?
I realize I know nothing
about you.
Boy. Your mom, she really
doesn't talk about me, does she?
I was a limo driver.
Yeah, I drove
a big black limousine.
With a fridge in the back...
real leather seats.
It was an award-winning
limousine.
I've been in a few
limousines myself.
I'm in the music business.
Okay.
I'm fairly big
in the music business.
Oh, I bet you are.
What are you?
A singer or something?
Well... I'm not someone
you can pigeonhole,
if I'm completely honest.
Do I DJ? Yes.
Do I produce blazing beats? Yes.
Do I tinkle the ivories? Yes.
Do I promote high-profile
events pertaining to music
and the performance of music?
Yes.
Okay.
I'm close to some
pretty big names.
Substantial names, actually.
I count Kendrick Lamar
and Chance the Rapper
among my closest allies.
Anyone I've actually heard of?
Uh, Elton John
is a close friend.
His real name
is Reginald Kenneth Dwight.
Elton... Reginald discovered me.
He saw me DJing at a nightclub.
It was a gala event,
and I was the DJ.
He signed me
to an exclusive deal.
We inked the deal
that same night.
Elton... Uh, Reginald...
[chuckles]
...he's a great man.
You could say he's like
a father to me.
No offence.
Boy, I'll tell you.
It's a small world.
I just happen to be a close
friend of Reginald's too.
- You are?
- [Dad] Yeah.
- You're lying.
- I'm not.
- [Norval] You are.
- I'm really not.
No. Reginald and I,
oh, we go way back.
Really?
[dad] I was his personal
limo driver for 10 years.
Yeah.
We spent a decade together.
Reginald and I,
driving, drinking, talking.
We became close friends.
Now, what are the odds
that you would be
close friends with him too?
Yeah.
Small world.
[chuckles]
- So, anyway...
- I'll tell you what...
[Norval] What?
Let's call him.
- Reginald?
- [Dad] Yeah.
It'll blow his fucking mind.
Are you kidding?
Brian and Norval,
his old pals
just happen to be
father and son, oh.
- Incredible.
- Uh, I don't know, Dad.
It... It's late.
He goes to bed early.
Bullshit.
He's a card-carrying night owl,
and he never shuts up about it.
He told me to never call him
after 8:00.
Well, he told me to call
him any time, night or day.
Dad, please, don't call him.
Please. Don't call him, Dad.
Please!
You don't really know
Elton John, do you?
Do you?
Uh...
No. I... I don't really know
Elton John.
As a matter of fact,
neither do I.
[laughs]
But I'm glad
we've established
that you're full of shit.
[waves crashing]
- [tap running]
- [creaking]
Just so you know,
if you want to impress me,
I like fight stories.
[Norval spits]
You ever been in a fight?
[Norval] No.
I have.
I once accidentally kicked
a guy's ear off.
I didn't mean to,
but the fucker flew off.
I could see
right into his skull.
Night.
[wind howling]
[tap running]
[Brian] Jethro.
- [wind chimes tinkling]
- Well, what you want me to do?
Oh, fuck you.
Let me talk here.
[wind chimes tinkling]
No, come on. That's not...
You know we can use him
as fucking leverage.
We've got some collateral.
Oh, I have your permission?
Well then...
Shit. Wait a minute.
[gasps]
[breathes heavily]
[doorknob creaks]
[door opens]
[door closes]
[Norval] Dad,
can I ask you something?
Why did you ask me
to come here?
You sent me a letter
asking me to come. But...
now I'm here and you seem like
you'd rather I wasn't.
It's like you regret
sending that letter.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Am I wrong?
I've got to take a crap.
[sniffs] Then,
let's go for a swim.
[Norval] Mom. Hey.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
How are you?
Oh, that's great.
[sighs]
I don't know.
It's harder than I thought.
He's not how I imagined him.
Not at all.
Uh, I don't think
he sees many people.
Maybe he's not
used to having people around.
[breathes heavily].
I'm sure it will get easier.
Yeah. I mean, who knows.
Maybe we'll end up
being best friends.
[water splashes]
[breathes heavily].
[exhales]
[Brian talks indistinctly]
[Brian] No, he's fuckin' dead.
He's dead.
Well, he's fuckin' dead.
No. I don't want
to be a fucking babysitter.
[Brian breathes heavily]
Mm.
Dad.
[grunts]
Dad?
Yeah.
I need to know
why you sent that letter.
Give it a rest.
Dad, I came all this way.
No.
I don't want to discuss it.
This is hard for me too,
you know.
Fucking drop it.
I don't want to fucking drop it.
What did you say to me?
- I said...
- You said?
I said, I don't want
to fucking drop it.
You watch
how you talk to me, boy.
You asked me to come here.
Here I am.
Yeah?
- And?
- And...
you have some explaining to do.
[sighs]
Like what?
You walked out on us
when I was five.
Thirty years later you ask me
to come and see you.
Here... here I am.
I came here
because I assumed
that at some point you were
going to explain yourself.
I don't have to explain
myself to you.
I disagree.
Do you?
Yeah.
What the fuck are you
gonna do about it?
What the fuck are you
gonna do about it?
Hmm?
I know what's happening.
[laughs]
Yeah? Trust me.
You got no fucking idea
what's happening here.
I think I do.
[Brian] Oh, fuck off.
You wrote that letter
when you were drunk.
You probably don't
even remember sending it.
Fuck off.
You're a drunk.
That's all you are.
A useless drunk.
- You can't handle your booze.
- You can't handle being a dad.
[Brian] Oh.
[scoffs]
I've been trying
so fucking hard to like you...
but it's impossible.
You're impossible.
Fuck off.
[Norval] You fuck off.
No! You fuck off!
You're a rat fucker.
You stuff rats
up your vagina.
You dress like a woman, yeah?
You dress like a cunt.
- Please, don't call me that.
- Then why?
You're very cunty.
- Don't say that.
- Oh!
Well, I call a spade a spade,
and a cunt a cunt.
And you, sir,
are a certified cunt.
Did you really think
that I would be impressed
with your fucking
Elton John story?
Only a cunt would think that.
Cunt!
- Cunt!
- Please, don't push me.
[Brian] Oh, yeah, what?
What?
- I'll leave.
- Oh, no.
No, you're not going anywhere.
I think I might just go.
[Brian] Yeah.
[chuckles]
Well, you'd get lost
in the woods and die.
And they'd find a rat skeleton
inside your pelvic bone
where your vagina was.
You'd love that,
wouldn't you, Dad?
Oh, fuck.
[Norval] You'd love it
if I was dead.
Oh, God. Fucking damn it!
[breathes heavily]
[exhales]
Dad! What the fuck
are you doing?
I believe
the correct term is filicide.
Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Come on.
Oh, come here,
you little rat fucker!
- Come here. Come to Daddy!
- Please, please don't do this.
I'm sorry.
I'm so fucking sorry.
Where's the fucking
gratitude here, huh?
I thought you wanted to die.
I... I didn't. I don't. No, no.
- Please, Dad, don't do this.
- [grunts]
- Die!
- [grunting]
No.
[grunts]
Dad?
Dad?
Mom, it's me.
N... No.
L... Listen to me.
It's Dad. He... He's...
I... I think he just died.
H... He just fell down.
He just fell down
and stopped breathing.
We... we had an argument,
and... and he just died.
Friday?
Um, okay. I'll see you Friday.
Okay. Yep. Okay.
I... I'll do that.
Coroner's office, please.
My dad's just died.
[clattering]
[breathes heavily].
And there wasn't any,
like, um, struggle and stuff?
No. No. Like I said, he...
He seemed fine. And...
And he said his chest hurt.
He fell down...
Do you promise
you're telling me the truth?
No. You can't just nod.
You've got to say it out loud.
I promise I'm telling the truth.
You know something?
I believe you.
You don't have raisin eyes.
- What?
- [Ronald] Yeah, I'm kind of
breaking the fourth wall here,
but, uh...
I got this theory.
Bad guys have eyes
that look like raisins.
You know, small and dark,
you know?
But you don't have raisin eyes.
No. I... I don't.
Ooh.
[clicks tongue]
Tell you something, though.
Your daddy...
he did have raisin eyes.
[Brian] Come to Daddy.
That's just my
hallucinations on the subject
of bad guys and their eyes.
Yeah.
Coroner will take it from here.
Yeah, I'm...
I'm sorry about your dad
and stuff, you know.
Take it easy, I guess.
Drink lots of water.
[sighs]
I can burp on command
if that might
cheer you up.
- No, that's okay.
- [burps]
Okay.
[Norval] I don't think
I liked him.
[woman] Really?
[Norval] He called me
a rat fucker.
Amongst other things.
Good thing he's dead then.
Is that a really bad thing
to say?
I don't know.
Yeah?
Sorry.
So, I'm gonna
take him away, embalm him,
drain the blood from his body,
inject him with a preservative,
so he doesn't go off,
and then bring him back here.
What?
Oh, there is a storage issue
in town at the moment
from the flooding.
Did you hear about that?
No.
He'll need to be here while
your family makes arrangements.
He'll be in a black bag.
You won't have to look at him.
Has anyone ever told you...
Told me what?
You have kind eyes.
No. No one has
ever said that to me.
[Gladys] Never?
Not that I remember.
Well, you do.
They're big and they're kind.
The... the cop who came told me
I... I didn't have raisin eyes.
What are raisin eyes?
Fucking idiot.
Raisin eyes?
[scoffs]
I know.
If you have any questions
just call me.
Thanks.
[birds squawking]
- [wood cracking]
- [gasps]
Hello?
[wind howling]
[breathes heavily]
[sniffs]
[Gladys] How are you
holding up?
[Norval] I'm fine.
I never really knew him.
So, it's hard to feel sad.
Sad enough to actually cry
real emotional tears.
But...
he is my dad, so...
I feel something.
I just don't know what.
[Gladys] It does get easier.
[Norval] Yeah.
Look. I...
I better get back to the office.
Yeah.
[Gladys] This might sound
really weird, but...
you should talk to him.
What?
It helps, you know?
When my husband died,
I remember just yapping
onto him for an hour.
All the things I wanted to say
when he was...
Was here.
I'm sure there's things you want
to say to your dad, too.
Not that it's any
of my business.
You can tell me to shut up,
if you want.
No.
It's okay, really.
I have no filter.
I like it.
Are you gonna be okay here?
I hope so.
Yeah, definitely.
When your mom gets here,
we'll make further arrangements.
Take care, Norval.
[breathes heavily].
[waves crashing]
[metal scraping]
[clanging]
[clanging]
[wind howling]
[door creaks]
[breathing heavily]
[breathing heavily]
[waves crashing]
[birds chirping]
[metal banging]
Who's there?
Is someone there?
[wind howls]
[door opens]
[wind chimes tinkle]
[sniffs]
[phone ringing]
Hello?
[clicking]
Who is this?
[clicking]
Mom? Is that you?
[door creaks]
[door closes]
[thudding]
Shut up.
[metal clanging]
Shut up!
[clanging]
Shut up!
[echoes]
[urinating]
[sighs]
[gasps]
[wind howling]
[metal clangs]
[music playing]
[laughs]
[Norval] Woo-hoo!
- [music continues]
- [music stops]
[metal clanging]
I'm not listening!
[Gladys] Hello?
Gladys?
[Gladys] Yes?
Who is this?
Guess.
[Gladys]
Mister Greenwood?
Bingo.
[Gladys] Is there a problem
with your father?
There's a lot of problems
with my father,
but that's not why I'm calling.
[Gladys]
What can I do for you?
Good question.
I need you to come over.
[Gladys] Mr. Greenwood,
are you...
Shh. Don't think.
Just come over.
[Gladys] You're going through
a difficult time.
- We had something.
- [Gladys] No, we didn't.
- I know you felt it too.
- [Gladys] No, I didn't.
We owe it to ourselves
to explore this.
The smartest thing you could do
right now is jump in your car
and...
Please.
- Please, please just come over.
- [Gladys] No.
I... I can't be here alone. We...
We could just sleep together.
- [Gladys] No.
- Just next to each other.
- [Gladys] No.
- Fully clothed if you wanted.
I... I just...
I just need you here.
Hello?
[wood creaks]
[Gladys] I'm sorry,
but I have to go.
No, no, no.
- Don't go.
- [Gladys] Please don't call me
outside of office hours.
Goodbye, Mr. Greenwood.
Fuck!
[clanging]
Oh, God.
[phone bangs twice]
[pipe bangs twice]
Oh, fuck.
Who's doing this?
Are you doing this?
Are you?
You think it's funny?
Well, fuck you.
You're a coward,
that's all you are.
A dried-up, dead,
leathery coward.
I'm glad you're dead.
You disappear when I was a kid,
and then you try to kill me?
And now you're fucking with me
from beyond the grave?
Are you? [laughs]
I wouldn't be surprised.
You think I'm a cunt?
[laughs]
That's hilarious.
You're the cunt here.
So, fuck you.
You hear me?
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Cunt!
[sobbing]
I have to tell you something.
I'm afraid it's gonna make me
sound like a bad person.
[Norval exhales]
[birds squawking]
[chuckles]
Mom.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
[metal scraping]
[metal clangs]
[breathing heavily]
[metal banging]
Oh, fuck.
[grunting]
[panting]
[metal scraping]
Oh, fuck.
No, no, no.
[wind howling]
[panting]
[man] Norval?
[Norval breathes heavily]
Norval.
[Norval] Who are you?
[Brian] You came, you came.
Norval, my boy,
you actually came.
Come over here.
Come, come here, help me out.
[laughs]
Norval.
Come on.
Get me out of here. [laughs]
[man 2]
Where's that fucker gone?
- [man] They're here.
- Who... who... who's here?
[man] Close the fucking door.
[Norval breathes heavily]
Look at me.
I'm your dad.
The next 90 seconds are
gonna change your life forever.
They're coming to hurt me,
and you're going to kill them.
- I can't.
- [Brian] You're going to hide.
And when they're down here,
you're going to
beat them to death.
There's a dumbbell
on the floor.
You take it,
and use it as a weapon,
and you bash
their fuckin' brains in.
What? No. No, no, no.
Please.
If you don't,
they'll kill us both.
- [door opens]
- Hide!
[Norval panting]
[man laughing]
How's it hanging, Brian?
Huh?
Looking good.
Feeling good, huh?
[chuckles]
Viddy this.
This, Brian...
this is a pen.
Not just any pen,
it's a pen smeared in extrement.
My extrement.
[laughs]
Extrement is the scientific word
for poo.
It's excrement, not extrement.
I'm gonna stab you
with this pen, Brian.
And obviously
it's going to hurt.
But then the science kicks in.
So, the extrement
that's on the pen
is gonna go into your wound
and it's gonna give you
an infection
that's gonna kill you
if you don't get help quickly.
How's that
for a ticking clock, Brian?
[laughs]
How's that
for excitement, Brian?
Are you excited?
Because I'm excited, Brian.
Now...
why don't you tell me
what I want to know...
And when this is all over,
I'll get you to a hospital.
I already told
Gordon everything.
It's gone. All of it.
[chuckles]
Shall I tell you
how I know you're lying?
[Brian] How?
Because when you said that,
you looked up to your left.
- Oh.
- And that's the number one
indication when somebody's
lying to you.
[laughs]
Yeah, I know these things
because I've read articles
on body language.
All right?
This is difficult for me too.
So what do you say we just
get this over and done with
as quickly as possible,
shall we?
No, no, no.
- [man] Shall we?
- No.
Here it comes.
Are you ready?
- [Brian] No, no. Come on.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- No, no, no, no.
- [Brian groans]
God damn it!
[groans]
It stings.
The first one stings,
- doesn't it?
- [groans]
Mind you,
so does the second one.
Fuck! Now!
Fuckin' kill him!
- Fucking kill him!
- [Jethro] What?
[Norval panting]
- Are we not alone, Brian?
- [Brian] Come on! Do it!
[man] Come out, come out.
Wherever you are.
How the fuck
are you still alive?
[grunting]
[Brian] Fucking kill him!
Fuck this shit.
[door closing]
You were supposed to kill him.
[man] Gordon! Oh, no!
- No, no, no! Gordon!
- [banging]
What happened to the man
who was up there?
He tried to stab me.
But then he had a heart attack.
He died.
[footsteps]
Good.
[door opens]
[man] I'll be back.
And I'll be back
with a little friend
that I want you both to meet!
[door slams]
My guess is his little friend
is Dandy.
Who's Dandy?
- The hunchback.
- The what?
You have to release me.
You ever picked a lock before?
Once, in school.
[Brian] What happened?
I didn't get it unlocked.
But I... I found the key
in my bag, so it was okay.
Oh. Uh, smash the shitty pen.
Go on.
[grunts]
[Brian] Yeah.
Now, take that long thin bit.
[Norval] God.
[exhales]
[Brian] Now...
Now, jam it into the lock.
Work it in small circles.
Who was that man?
His name is Jethro.
He's my best friend.
Then why is he stabbing you
with poo pens
and chaining you up
in your basement?
He has his reasons.
After I left your mom,
I ended up living in Bangkok.
Me, Jethro, Gordon,
who you've met, and Dandy.
We were misbehaving
in a small-time fashion.
Until we decided to do
one last score.
Sail off into the sunset,
all that.
What did you do?
Oh, we kidnapped
the daughter of Thailand's
richest man.
We were supposed to split
the ransom between us,
but I stole it.
I ripped my best friends off.
Understandably,
they want their share.
They think I have stashed it
somewhere.
Fact is, it's all gone.
Every last cent.
Where?
You ever stop for a moment
and wonder why
you grew up
in a Beverly Hills mansion
with an unemployed mother?
My entire life
has been funded by...
A kidnapping.
[chuckles]
Sorry to change the subject,
but this isn't working.
You're going to have
to dislocate my thumb,
I'm afraid.
What?
You take my thumb and you
bend it all the way back.
Quickly, come on.
On the...
The count of three, okay?
All right.
One, two, three.
[groans]
Just fucking do it.
- [bone cracking]
- [groans]
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
[groans]
Did that work?
Oh, God, Jesus.
[laughs]
Okay. Let's see
what we can do here.
[grunts]
Right.
[breathes heavily]
Thumb wasn't enough.
You're gonna have to try
the index finger.
What?
- [Brian] Come on.
- No. I... I can't. Please.
I abandoned you as a child.
Consider this your revenge.
Channel all that anger.
Come on.
- [bones cracking]
- [groaning]
Oh, fuck!
Ooh, hoo, oh, hoo, baby.
Oh, God.
[grunts]
Fuck.
[chains rattling]
You're gonna have to carry me.
We have to get as far away
from this fuckin' house
as possible.
I'm not made for this.
You want to be tortured
to death by a hunchback?
[both grunting]
[Brian] Wait! Wait!
Put... put... put... put... put...
Put me down. Put me down.
Whoa, whoa.
I need some water.
Get me some water, will you?
- Okay.
- [Brian] Okay, hurry up.
[water running]
You're missing an ear.
- You know that?
- [Brian] Mm-hmm.
Gordon kicked it off.
Well, shall we go find it?
They... they can sew it back on.
Not gonna be possible,
I'm afraid.
[Norval] Why not?
It's just not, okay?
Why?
I ate it.
You... you...
You ate your own ear?
[Brian] He made me.
He gave me a choice between
my own ear or a shot-glass
of his semen...
like some kind of
Japanese game show
or something.
And I chose the ear.
He was starving me!
Um, but semen contains
more protein
and nutrients than an ear.
- Ears are just cartilage.
- Look!
The semen was yellow, okay?
I'm not defending
my choice to you.
Let's fucking go!
Can I go to the toilet?
Number one or number two?
- [Norval] One.
- Be really fucking quick.
♪ You really showed me
how to play the game ♪
- Sh...
- [grunting]
[Brian] Dandy!
Dandy!
Don't you touch my son!
Don't you fucking touch him!
Norval!
[grunting]
Come on, Norval!
[glass shatters]
[grunting]
It's you or him!
Do what you have to do, son.
[grunting]
[panting]
Kill the fucker! Kill him!
[grunting]
[screams]
[Dandy gasping]
[grunting]
[panting]
[Brian] Son.
Are you okay?
Norval?
Please tell me you're okay.
[music playing]
[water running]
[music playing]
[chuckles]
[groans]
Hey.
What happened in there,
you know...
it's... it's...
It's always...
I mean...
What I'm saying is it's...
Come on.
We've got to go.
We've got to go!
[grunting]
- [Norval] Who was Ryan?
- [Brian] Huh?
[Norval] Gordon had a tattoo
on his neck. [grunts]
"R.I.P Ryan".
Oh, Ryan.
That was Gordon's son.
Slashed his wrists in the bath.
Sad story.
He was a decent kid.
[car approaching]
Hide!
[car engine revving]
[door closing]
My little friend
can't wait to meet you,
you fuckin' wank-stains!
[Brian] Shit.
We have to get the fuck away
from here.
Wait! Dad, wait!
I just realized something.
- [Brian] What?
- [Norval] Me and mom's address
is written on my luggage tag.
- If he finds it...
- [Brian] Fuck.
What do we do?
[Brian] Fuck!
You're gonna have to kill him.
I'm not a murderer.
You just killed somebody
literally five minutes ago.
I'd gladly kill
the fucker myself,
but look at me.
If you don't go in there
and kill him,
we'll never be safe.
You're part of this now.
So is your mother.
He has a flaming crossbow.
I have nothing.
I wouldn't last a second.
[Brian] You hide in the trunk
of his car.
You follow him everywhere.
And then when he's alone,
when he's vulnerable...
[Jethro] Dandy!
Not Dandy!
You fuckin' killed Dandy too.
[Brian] Go!
[Norval panting]
[Jethro] This is an important
announcement
for Norval Greenwood
of 91622 West Linden Drive,
Beverly Hills, California!
You and the rest
of the Greenwood family
are now officially fucked!
It's official!
[Norval panting]
[car engine starts]
[Jethro] Precious?
Yeah, yeah.
My name's Jethro.
I'm a mate of Dandy's.
Yeah. I was the guy sitting
in the corner watching.
Yeah.
Look, listen.
Could you meet me at the hotel
for a session?
Like, I'm really stressed.
Please.
As soon as you can.
Oh, you're an angel.
[Norval panting]
[rain pouring]
[car door closes]
[grunting]
[crossbow fires]
Fuck.
Shit.
[vehicle approaching]
[thunder rumbling]
Hi.
- Are you a prostitute?
- Excuse me?
Whatever he pays,
I'll triple it.
All you have to do
is leave the door open
a little when you leave.
- [scoffs]
- Listen, Precious...
How in the fuck do you know
my name?
Get the fuck out of here
before I tear your nuts off.
- [clears throat]
- [knocks on door]
[Norval] Oh, shit.
Hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Oh. Okay.
How can I help you, sir?
Uh, I'd like to rent a room,
please.
Ah, no, no, no, no.
The whole motel is booked out,
what with the geology
conference in town.
- Geology conference?
- [man] Yeah.
It's really a swinger's
convention.
I shit you not.
I have a whole motel full
of flabby sex people,
just doing whatever they do.
But, um, we do have
one family unit available,
but it's, uh, further down
the road.
- I'd prefer a room here.
- [Danny] Yeah.
I bet you would prefer
a room here.
But as I already said,
there are geologists
in every room of the motel,
bar none.
The one that is available
is a family unit
some distance away.
Now, would you like to rent
said family unit?
Or do you want to keep
doing what we're doing here?
- Maybe later.
- Okay, maybe later.
Bye now.
[sighs]
[thunder rumbling]
- [door closes]
- Hey.
Yes?
I thought I might let you know
there's a suspicious woman
lingering by a car out there.
A suspicious woman?
Trust me. Yeah.
She's legit.
Okay. So, you're clearly
some kind of sex freak.
But I am intrigued,
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm serious.
Incredible body.
All right.
Full disclosure,
I'm gonna put all my cards
on the table.
I'm what's known in medical
circles as a titty-holic.
All right?
So, naturally my next question
to you is does she, like...
Let me stop you right there,
and say that if this woman
were shopping for bras,
she'd be found in the area
designated Double D.
Okay, well,
sir, I will just be right back.
Give me a minute,
I'll go and investigate.
- [door opens]
- I'll get to the bottom of this.
All right.
[air hissing]
[moaning]
[Precious] Huh?
How do you like that shit,
you limp-dicked fuckface?
[Jethro] Really get
aggressive now. Really pull.
- Harder!
- [Precious] Fuck you.
[Jethro moaning]
[keys rattling]
[Jethro] Use the red one.
[Norval gasps]
- [clicks]
- [moaning on TV]
[gasps]
[keys rattling]
[speaking Russian]
[speaking Russian]
[both speaking Russian]
[speaking Russian]
[Norval grunting] Come on.
[Precious]
Oh. So, you like that, huh?
What did I say?
This is private business.
Now, fuck off!
Uh, listen, Precious,
my fight isn't with you.
Agree to disagree.
[grunting]
Hold him tight for me, Precious.
[Norval groans]
Now, you are going to die here.
And I'm going to L.A.
So, do have any little message
for your mommy?
Tell her I love her.
[Jethro laughs]
I'm gonna specifically tell her
that you don't love her.
[grunting]
Bastard!
[Jethro laughs]
- Get...
- [Norval groans]
...fucking in!
[laughs]
Oh, bugger.
That was supposed to go
in your ear.
- Sorry about that.
- [Precious] Oh!
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Ah, shit.
Hey. No, no, no, no.
Hey!
I think you killed him.
You killed him,
you big tonk twat.
You just fuckin' squeezed
the life clean out of him.
I watched you.
[speaking Russian]
[speaking Russian]
Do you know something?
Sod this fuckin'
sad-sack situation.
I'm out of here like Vladimir.
You are a cold-blooded
psychopath.
I'm a psychopath?
You're a muscle-bound prozzie
who gets lonely men
into headlocks for cash!
And let me tell you
something else, sweetheart,
there's been this invention
called deodorant.
You should try it sometime.
All right?
Jesus!
[speaking Russian]
[Precious sighs]
Oh, fuck.
[door opens]
What the fuck?
Fuck.
[beeping]
[Jethro]
♪ California, here I come ♪
♪ Right back
where we started from ♪
♪ I got that California itch ♪
♪ I'm gonna kill your momma
and leave her in a ditch ♪
Yeah.
♪ Better go tell her
Jethro's coming for her ♪
- [humming]
- [rock music playing]
Yeah.
[Precious] I'm, like,
an accessory to murder.
This is... Oh, shit.
This is, like, oh...
It's, like, a life sentence.
[labored breath]
Hi.
[car engine revving]
[rock music playing]
[tires screeching]
[car crashes]
[grunting]
[rock music playing]
[Norval groaning]
[Jethro] Listen very carefully,
Norval.
This is very important.
So, it's vital
that you listen carefully.
Right?
Your mother is a prostitute.
That's how your father met her.
He was a frequent flier.
You think her name
is Jacqueline.
But her real name is Annie.
I fucked her.
I fucked her in an abandoned
factory to be precise.
But I lost my erection.
Because from certain angles,
she reminded me
of Michael Heseltine.
Michael Heseltine...
if you're wondering...
is a British politician
from the 1980s.
[train horn blowing]
[grunting]
Arthur!
[panting]
[Brian] Dear Son.
It's me, your Dad.
It's been a while, hasn't it?
It's fair to say, I've not
been the world's best father.
In fact, if someone
were to accuse me
of being a shit excuse for one,
well...
I wouldn't have much of
a defense, would I?
But I want that to change.
Maybe you'd rather shit
a razor blade
than have your old man
back in your life.
But if not,
here's where you can find me.
I hope to see you soon, son.
And I hope you can find it
in your heart
to forgive your old man.
With love, always,
your father.
[grunting]
[birds squawking]
[Norval groaning]
I have to tell you something.
But I'm afraid
it makes me sound
like a bad person.
[panting]
I never let Mom get over you.
Every man that came along,
I drove them away.
She had so many chances
to be happy.
And I never let her.
I always thought
you'd come back.
And then we'd pick up
where we left off.
Why did you write to me?
Dad?
Why... why did you write to me?
[Jethro] Fuck this shit!
[door slams]
[waves crashing]
[takes deep breath]
[knocks on door]
[knocks on door]
[wind chimes tinkling]
[door unlocks]
Dad, it's me, Norval.
Uh, I got your letter.
Your letter asking me
to come and see you.
Well...
here I am.
It's me. Norval.
- [gasps] Mm.
- Okay.
Jesus Christ.
I never thought
I'd see you again.
[chuckles]
Well, you wanna come in?
Yes, please.
[dad] Welcome to my house.
[Norval] I like it.
[dad scoffs]
You don't.
[Norval] I do.
[dad] Why?
Uh, it's like a UFO
from the 1960's.
A UFO from the 1960's.
[Norval] Yeah.
A UFO from the 1960's.
Exactly.
That's brilliant.
Yeah.
When did I last see you, son?
[Norval] I don't know.
Oh, come on.
How long's it been?
A long time.
A long time, yeah.
Too long.
[dad] Too fucking long.
God damn.
- Yeah. Mm.
- [dad clears throat]
Yeah.
Let's get you unpacked.
Hey.
Let's get a picture of us.
You know, a selfie photo?
You can show it to your mom
when you get home.
Oh.
No, no. You gotta get
the sea in there.
- Come on, here.
- [Norval] Uh, careful.
That's a limited edition
gold phone,
designed by Lorde.
[dad] Lorde?
never heard of him.
[Norval] It's real gold.
There we go.
How about that, huh?
Okay. Smile.
- [camera clicks]
- [Norval] Oh, shit.
- [dad] Well...
- [Norval] Fuck.
Well, I should've never had
that second beer for breakfast.
There are only twenty
of those phones in the world.
[dad] Yeah.
No. Now there's nineteen.
[wind chimes tinkling]
[thudding]
So, how's your mother?
Not great, actually.
Oh?
She ever talk about me?
Not really.
[dad] You live with her?
Yeah,
it's a temporary arrangement.
[dad] You don't feel
embarrassed about that?
Living with your mom?
At your age?
I don't know.
I've had a rough few years.
She helped me get me
back on my feet.
- It's complicated.
- [thud]
[dad] You sleep with her?
What?
[dad] Do you share a bed
with your mom?
No.
[dad laughs]
[sizzling]
[dad] Yeah.
[chuckles]
- Wine?
- [Norval] No, thanks.
Oh, go on. Have a drink
with your old man.
I... I don't drink.
No?
Why is that?
I've had what's called
"alcohol dependency issues".
[dad] Yeah?
And that is, uh...
It's when you're dependent
on alcohol.
I nearly...
I wrote a note, I ran a bath...
I came close.
Really fucking close.
Anyway, here I am. I survived.
[dad] Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
[slurps]
Mm, wow.
Tempted?
No.
[music playing]
So, Dad...
what do you do?
For work?
[dad] I'm retired.
What did you do
before you retired?
I realize I know nothing
about you.
Boy. Your mom, she really
doesn't talk about me, does she?
I was a limo driver.
Yeah, I drove
a big black limousine.
With a fridge in the back...
real leather seats.
It was an award-winning
limousine.
I've been in a few
limousines myself.
I'm in the music business.
Okay.
I'm fairly big
in the music business.
Oh, I bet you are.
What are you?
A singer or something?
Well... I'm not someone
you can pigeonhole,
if I'm completely honest.
Do I DJ? Yes.
Do I produce blazing beats? Yes.
Do I tinkle the ivories? Yes.
Do I promote high-profile
events pertaining to music
and the performance of music?
Yes.
Okay.
I'm close to some
pretty big names.
Substantial names, actually.
I count Kendrick Lamar
and Chance the Rapper
among my closest allies.
Anyone I've actually heard of?
Uh, Elton John
is a close friend.
His real name
is Reginald Kenneth Dwight.
Elton... Reginald discovered me.
He saw me DJing at a nightclub.
It was a gala event,
and I was the DJ.
He signed me
to an exclusive deal.
We inked the deal
that same night.
Elton... Uh, Reginald...
[chuckles]
...he's a great man.
You could say he's like
a father to me.
No offence.
Boy, I'll tell you.
It's a small world.
I just happen to be a close
friend of Reginald's too.
- You are?
- [Dad] Yeah.
- You're lying.
- I'm not.
- [Norval] You are.
- I'm really not.
No. Reginald and I,
oh, we go way back.
Really?
[dad] I was his personal
limo driver for 10 years.
Yeah.
We spent a decade together.
Reginald and I,
driving, drinking, talking.
We became close friends.
Now, what are the odds
that you would be
close friends with him too?
Yeah.
Small world.
[chuckles]
- So, anyway...
- I'll tell you what...
[Norval] What?
Let's call him.
- Reginald?
- [Dad] Yeah.
It'll blow his fucking mind.
Are you kidding?
Brian and Norval,
his old pals
just happen to be
father and son, oh.
- Incredible.
- Uh, I don't know, Dad.
It... It's late.
He goes to bed early.
Bullshit.
He's a card-carrying night owl,
and he never shuts up about it.
He told me to never call him
after 8:00.
Well, he told me to call
him any time, night or day.
Dad, please, don't call him.
Please. Don't call him, Dad.
Please!
You don't really know
Elton John, do you?
Do you?
Uh...
No. I... I don't really know
Elton John.
As a matter of fact,
neither do I.
[laughs]
But I'm glad
we've established
that you're full of shit.
[waves crashing]
- [tap running]
- [creaking]
Just so you know,
if you want to impress me,
I like fight stories.
[Norval spits]
You ever been in a fight?
[Norval] No.
I have.
I once accidentally kicked
a guy's ear off.
I didn't mean to,
but the fucker flew off.
I could see
right into his skull.
Night.
[wind howling]
[tap running]
[Brian] Jethro.
- [wind chimes tinkling]
- Well, what you want me to do?
Oh, fuck you.
Let me talk here.
[wind chimes tinkling]
No, come on. That's not...
You know we can use him
as fucking leverage.
We've got some collateral.
Oh, I have your permission?
Well then...
Shit. Wait a minute.
[gasps]
[breathes heavily]
[doorknob creaks]
[door opens]
[door closes]
[Norval] Dad,
can I ask you something?
Why did you ask me
to come here?
You sent me a letter
asking me to come. But...
now I'm here and you seem like
you'd rather I wasn't.
It's like you regret
sending that letter.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Am I wrong?
I've got to take a crap.
[sniffs] Then,
let's go for a swim.
[Norval] Mom. Hey.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
How are you?
Oh, that's great.
[sighs]
I don't know.
It's harder than I thought.
He's not how I imagined him.
Not at all.
Uh, I don't think
he sees many people.
Maybe he's not
used to having people around.
[breathes heavily].
I'm sure it will get easier.
Yeah. I mean, who knows.
Maybe we'll end up
being best friends.
[water splashes]
[breathes heavily].
[exhales]
[Brian talks indistinctly]
[Brian] No, he's fuckin' dead.
He's dead.
Well, he's fuckin' dead.
No. I don't want
to be a fucking babysitter.
[Brian breathes heavily]
Mm.
Dad.
[grunts]
Dad?
Yeah.
I need to know
why you sent that letter.
Give it a rest.
Dad, I came all this way.
No.
I don't want to discuss it.
This is hard for me too,
you know.
Fucking drop it.
I don't want to fucking drop it.
What did you say to me?
- I said...
- You said?
I said, I don't want
to fucking drop it.
You watch
how you talk to me, boy.
You asked me to come here.
Here I am.
Yeah?
- And?
- And...
you have some explaining to do.
[sighs]
Like what?
You walked out on us
when I was five.
Thirty years later you ask me
to come and see you.
Here... here I am.
I came here
because I assumed
that at some point you were
going to explain yourself.
I don't have to explain
myself to you.
I disagree.
Do you?
Yeah.
What the fuck are you
gonna do about it?
What the fuck are you
gonna do about it?
Hmm?
I know what's happening.
[laughs]
Yeah? Trust me.
You got no fucking idea
what's happening here.
I think I do.
[Brian] Oh, fuck off.
You wrote that letter
when you were drunk.
You probably don't
even remember sending it.
Fuck off.
You're a drunk.
That's all you are.
A useless drunk.
- You can't handle your booze.
- You can't handle being a dad.
[Brian] Oh.
[scoffs]
I've been trying
so fucking hard to like you...
but it's impossible.
You're impossible.
Fuck off.
[Norval] You fuck off.
No! You fuck off!
You're a rat fucker.
You stuff rats
up your vagina.
You dress like a woman, yeah?
You dress like a cunt.
- Please, don't call me that.
- Then why?
You're very cunty.
- Don't say that.
- Oh!
Well, I call a spade a spade,
and a cunt a cunt.
And you, sir,
are a certified cunt.
Did you really think
that I would be impressed
with your fucking
Elton John story?
Only a cunt would think that.
Cunt!
- Cunt!
- Please, don't push me.
[Brian] Oh, yeah, what?
What?
- I'll leave.
- Oh, no.
No, you're not going anywhere.
I think I might just go.
[Brian] Yeah.
[chuckles]
Well, you'd get lost
in the woods and die.
And they'd find a rat skeleton
inside your pelvic bone
where your vagina was.
You'd love that,
wouldn't you, Dad?
Oh, fuck.
[Norval] You'd love it
if I was dead.
Oh, God. Fucking damn it!
[breathes heavily]
[exhales]
Dad! What the fuck
are you doing?
I believe
the correct term is filicide.
Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Come on.
Oh, come here,
you little rat fucker!
- Come here. Come to Daddy!
- Please, please don't do this.
I'm sorry.
I'm so fucking sorry.
Where's the fucking
gratitude here, huh?
I thought you wanted to die.
I... I didn't. I don't. No, no.
- Please, Dad, don't do this.
- [grunts]
- Die!
- [grunting]
No.
[grunts]
Dad?
Dad?
Mom, it's me.
N... No.
L... Listen to me.
It's Dad. He... He's...
I... I think he just died.
H... He just fell down.
He just fell down
and stopped breathing.
We... we had an argument,
and... and he just died.
Friday?
Um, okay. I'll see you Friday.
Okay. Yep. Okay.
I... I'll do that.
Coroner's office, please.
My dad's just died.
[clattering]
[breathes heavily].
And there wasn't any,
like, um, struggle and stuff?
No. No. Like I said, he...
He seemed fine. And...
And he said his chest hurt.
He fell down...
Do you promise
you're telling me the truth?
No. You can't just nod.
You've got to say it out loud.
I promise I'm telling the truth.
You know something?
I believe you.
You don't have raisin eyes.
- What?
- [Ronald] Yeah, I'm kind of
breaking the fourth wall here,
but, uh...
I got this theory.
Bad guys have eyes
that look like raisins.
You know, small and dark,
you know?
But you don't have raisin eyes.
No. I... I don't.
Ooh.
[clicks tongue]
Tell you something, though.
Your daddy...
he did have raisin eyes.
[Brian] Come to Daddy.
That's just my
hallucinations on the subject
of bad guys and their eyes.
Yeah.
Coroner will take it from here.
Yeah, I'm...
I'm sorry about your dad
and stuff, you know.
Take it easy, I guess.
Drink lots of water.
[sighs]
I can burp on command
if that might
cheer you up.
- No, that's okay.
- [burps]
Okay.
[Norval] I don't think
I liked him.
[woman] Really?
[Norval] He called me
a rat fucker.
Amongst other things.
Good thing he's dead then.
Is that a really bad thing
to say?
I don't know.
Yeah?
Sorry.
So, I'm gonna
take him away, embalm him,
drain the blood from his body,
inject him with a preservative,
so he doesn't go off,
and then bring him back here.
What?
Oh, there is a storage issue
in town at the moment
from the flooding.
Did you hear about that?
No.
He'll need to be here while
your family makes arrangements.
He'll be in a black bag.
You won't have to look at him.
Has anyone ever told you...
Told me what?
You have kind eyes.
No. No one has
ever said that to me.
[Gladys] Never?
Not that I remember.
Well, you do.
They're big and they're kind.
The... the cop who came told me
I... I didn't have raisin eyes.
What are raisin eyes?
Fucking idiot.
Raisin eyes?
[scoffs]
I know.
If you have any questions
just call me.
Thanks.
[birds squawking]
- [wood cracking]
- [gasps]
Hello?
[wind howling]
[breathes heavily]
[sniffs]
[Gladys] How are you
holding up?
[Norval] I'm fine.
I never really knew him.
So, it's hard to feel sad.
Sad enough to actually cry
real emotional tears.
But...
he is my dad, so...
I feel something.
I just don't know what.
[Gladys] It does get easier.
[Norval] Yeah.
Look. I...
I better get back to the office.
Yeah.
[Gladys] This might sound
really weird, but...
you should talk to him.
What?
It helps, you know?
When my husband died,
I remember just yapping
onto him for an hour.
All the things I wanted to say
when he was...
Was here.
I'm sure there's things you want
to say to your dad, too.
Not that it's any
of my business.
You can tell me to shut up,
if you want.
No.
It's okay, really.
I have no filter.
I like it.
Are you gonna be okay here?
I hope so.
Yeah, definitely.
When your mom gets here,
we'll make further arrangements.
Take care, Norval.
[breathes heavily].
[waves crashing]
[metal scraping]
[clanging]
[clanging]
[wind howling]
[door creaks]
[breathing heavily]
[breathing heavily]
[waves crashing]
[birds chirping]
[metal banging]
Who's there?
Is someone there?
[wind howls]
[door opens]
[wind chimes tinkle]
[sniffs]
[phone ringing]
Hello?
[clicking]
Who is this?
[clicking]
Mom? Is that you?
[door creaks]
[door closes]
[thudding]
Shut up.
[metal clanging]
Shut up!
[clanging]
Shut up!
[echoes]
[urinating]
[sighs]
[gasps]
[wind howling]
[metal clangs]
[music playing]
[laughs]
[Norval] Woo-hoo!
- [music continues]
- [music stops]
[metal clanging]
I'm not listening!
[Gladys] Hello?
Gladys?
[Gladys] Yes?
Who is this?
Guess.
[Gladys]
Mister Greenwood?
Bingo.
[Gladys] Is there a problem
with your father?
There's a lot of problems
with my father,
but that's not why I'm calling.
[Gladys]
What can I do for you?
Good question.
I need you to come over.
[Gladys] Mr. Greenwood,
are you...
Shh. Don't think.
Just come over.
[Gladys] You're going through
a difficult time.
- We had something.
- [Gladys] No, we didn't.
- I know you felt it too.
- [Gladys] No, I didn't.
We owe it to ourselves
to explore this.
The smartest thing you could do
right now is jump in your car
and...
Please.
- Please, please just come over.
- [Gladys] No.
I... I can't be here alone. We...
We could just sleep together.
- [Gladys] No.
- Just next to each other.
- [Gladys] No.
- Fully clothed if you wanted.
I... I just...
I just need you here.
Hello?
[wood creaks]
[Gladys] I'm sorry,
but I have to go.
No, no, no.
- Don't go.
- [Gladys] Please don't call me
outside of office hours.
Goodbye, Mr. Greenwood.
Fuck!
[clanging]
Oh, God.
[phone bangs twice]
[pipe bangs twice]
Oh, fuck.
Who's doing this?
Are you doing this?
Are you?
You think it's funny?
Well, fuck you.
You're a coward,
that's all you are.
A dried-up, dead,
leathery coward.
I'm glad you're dead.
You disappear when I was a kid,
and then you try to kill me?
And now you're fucking with me
from beyond the grave?
Are you? [laughs]
I wouldn't be surprised.
You think I'm a cunt?
[laughs]
That's hilarious.
You're the cunt here.
So, fuck you.
You hear me?
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Cunt!
[sobbing]
I have to tell you something.
I'm afraid it's gonna make me
sound like a bad person.
[Norval exhales]
[birds squawking]
[chuckles]
Mom.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
[metal scraping]
[metal clangs]
[breathing heavily]
[metal banging]
Oh, fuck.
[grunting]
[panting]
[metal scraping]
Oh, fuck.
No, no, no.
[wind howling]
[panting]
[man] Norval?
[Norval breathes heavily]
Norval.
[Norval] Who are you?
[Brian] You came, you came.
Norval, my boy,
you actually came.
Come over here.
Come, come here, help me out.
[laughs]
Norval.
Come on.
Get me out of here. [laughs]
[man 2]
Where's that fucker gone?
- [man] They're here.
- Who... who... who's here?
[man] Close the fucking door.
[Norval breathes heavily]
Look at me.
I'm your dad.
The next 90 seconds are
gonna change your life forever.
They're coming to hurt me,
and you're going to kill them.
- I can't.
- [Brian] You're going to hide.
And when they're down here,
you're going to
beat them to death.
There's a dumbbell
on the floor.
You take it,
and use it as a weapon,
and you bash
their fuckin' brains in.
What? No. No, no, no.
Please.
If you don't,
they'll kill us both.
- [door opens]
- Hide!
[Norval panting]
[man laughing]
How's it hanging, Brian?
Huh?
Looking good.
Feeling good, huh?
[chuckles]
Viddy this.
This, Brian...
this is a pen.
Not just any pen,
it's a pen smeared in extrement.
My extrement.
[laughs]
Extrement is the scientific word
for poo.
It's excrement, not extrement.
I'm gonna stab you
with this pen, Brian.
And obviously
it's going to hurt.
But then the science kicks in.
So, the extrement
that's on the pen
is gonna go into your wound
and it's gonna give you
an infection
that's gonna kill you
if you don't get help quickly.
How's that
for a ticking clock, Brian?
[laughs]
How's that
for excitement, Brian?
Are you excited?
Because I'm excited, Brian.
Now...
why don't you tell me
what I want to know...
And when this is all over,
I'll get you to a hospital.
I already told
Gordon everything.
It's gone. All of it.
[chuckles]
Shall I tell you
how I know you're lying?
[Brian] How?
Because when you said that,
you looked up to your left.
- Oh.
- And that's the number one
indication when somebody's
lying to you.
[laughs]
Yeah, I know these things
because I've read articles
on body language.
All right?
This is difficult for me too.
So what do you say we just
get this over and done with
as quickly as possible,
shall we?
No, no, no.
- [man] Shall we?
- No.
Here it comes.
Are you ready?
- [Brian] No, no. Come on.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- No, no, no, no.
- [Brian groans]
God damn it!
[groans]
It stings.
The first one stings,
- doesn't it?
- [groans]
Mind you,
so does the second one.
Fuck! Now!
Fuckin' kill him!
- Fucking kill him!
- [Jethro] What?
[Norval panting]
- Are we not alone, Brian?
- [Brian] Come on! Do it!
[man] Come out, come out.
Wherever you are.
How the fuck
are you still alive?
[grunting]
[Brian] Fucking kill him!
Fuck this shit.
[door closing]
You were supposed to kill him.
[man] Gordon! Oh, no!
- No, no, no! Gordon!
- [banging]
What happened to the man
who was up there?
He tried to stab me.
But then he had a heart attack.
He died.
[footsteps]
Good.
[door opens]
[man] I'll be back.
And I'll be back
with a little friend
that I want you both to meet!
[door slams]
My guess is his little friend
is Dandy.
Who's Dandy?
- The hunchback.
- The what?
You have to release me.
You ever picked a lock before?
Once, in school.
[Brian] What happened?
I didn't get it unlocked.
But I... I found the key
in my bag, so it was okay.
Oh. Uh, smash the shitty pen.
Go on.
[grunts]
[Brian] Yeah.
Now, take that long thin bit.
[Norval] God.
[exhales]
[Brian] Now...
Now, jam it into the lock.
Work it in small circles.
Who was that man?
His name is Jethro.
He's my best friend.
Then why is he stabbing you
with poo pens
and chaining you up
in your basement?
He has his reasons.
After I left your mom,
I ended up living in Bangkok.
Me, Jethro, Gordon,
who you've met, and Dandy.
We were misbehaving
in a small-time fashion.
Until we decided to do
one last score.
Sail off into the sunset,
all that.
What did you do?
Oh, we kidnapped
the daughter of Thailand's
richest man.
We were supposed to split
the ransom between us,
but I stole it.
I ripped my best friends off.
Understandably,
they want their share.
They think I have stashed it
somewhere.
Fact is, it's all gone.
Every last cent.
Where?
You ever stop for a moment
and wonder why
you grew up
in a Beverly Hills mansion
with an unemployed mother?
My entire life
has been funded by...
A kidnapping.
[chuckles]
Sorry to change the subject,
but this isn't working.
You're going to have
to dislocate my thumb,
I'm afraid.
What?
You take my thumb and you
bend it all the way back.
Quickly, come on.
On the...
The count of three, okay?
All right.
One, two, three.
[groans]
Just fucking do it.
- [bone cracking]
- [groans]
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
[groans]
Did that work?
Oh, God, Jesus.
[laughs]
Okay. Let's see
what we can do here.
[grunts]
Right.
[breathes heavily]
Thumb wasn't enough.
You're gonna have to try
the index finger.
What?
- [Brian] Come on.
- No. I... I can't. Please.
I abandoned you as a child.
Consider this your revenge.
Channel all that anger.
Come on.
- [bones cracking]
- [groaning]
Oh, fuck!
Ooh, hoo, oh, hoo, baby.
Oh, God.
[grunts]
Fuck.
[chains rattling]
You're gonna have to carry me.
We have to get as far away
from this fuckin' house
as possible.
I'm not made for this.
You want to be tortured
to death by a hunchback?
[both grunting]
[Brian] Wait! Wait!
Put... put... put... put... put...
Put me down. Put me down.
Whoa, whoa.
I need some water.
Get me some water, will you?
- Okay.
- [Brian] Okay, hurry up.
[water running]
You're missing an ear.
- You know that?
- [Brian] Mm-hmm.
Gordon kicked it off.
Well, shall we go find it?
They... they can sew it back on.
Not gonna be possible,
I'm afraid.
[Norval] Why not?
It's just not, okay?
Why?
I ate it.
You... you...
You ate your own ear?
[Brian] He made me.
He gave me a choice between
my own ear or a shot-glass
of his semen...
like some kind of
Japanese game show
or something.
And I chose the ear.
He was starving me!
Um, but semen contains
more protein
and nutrients than an ear.
- Ears are just cartilage.
- Look!
The semen was yellow, okay?
I'm not defending
my choice to you.
Let's fucking go!
Can I go to the toilet?
Number one or number two?
- [Norval] One.
- Be really fucking quick.
♪ You really showed me
how to play the game ♪
- Sh...
- [grunting]
[Brian] Dandy!
Dandy!
Don't you touch my son!
Don't you fucking touch him!
Norval!
[grunting]
Come on, Norval!
[glass shatters]
[grunting]
It's you or him!
Do what you have to do, son.
[grunting]
[panting]
Kill the fucker! Kill him!
[grunting]
[screams]
[Dandy gasping]
[grunting]
[panting]
[Brian] Son.
Are you okay?
Norval?
Please tell me you're okay.
[music playing]
[water running]
[music playing]
[chuckles]
[groans]
Hey.
What happened in there,
you know...
it's... it's...
It's always...
I mean...
What I'm saying is it's...
Come on.
We've got to go.
We've got to go!
[grunting]
- [Norval] Who was Ryan?
- [Brian] Huh?
[Norval] Gordon had a tattoo
on his neck. [grunts]
"R.I.P Ryan".
Oh, Ryan.
That was Gordon's son.
Slashed his wrists in the bath.
Sad story.
He was a decent kid.
[car approaching]
Hide!
[car engine revving]
[door closing]
My little friend
can't wait to meet you,
you fuckin' wank-stains!
[Brian] Shit.
We have to get the fuck away
from here.
Wait! Dad, wait!
I just realized something.
- [Brian] What?
- [Norval] Me and mom's address
is written on my luggage tag.
- If he finds it...
- [Brian] Fuck.
What do we do?
[Brian] Fuck!
You're gonna have to kill him.
I'm not a murderer.
You just killed somebody
literally five minutes ago.
I'd gladly kill
the fucker myself,
but look at me.
If you don't go in there
and kill him,
we'll never be safe.
You're part of this now.
So is your mother.
He has a flaming crossbow.
I have nothing.
I wouldn't last a second.
[Brian] You hide in the trunk
of his car.
You follow him everywhere.
And then when he's alone,
when he's vulnerable...
[Jethro] Dandy!
Not Dandy!
You fuckin' killed Dandy too.
[Brian] Go!
[Norval panting]
[Jethro] This is an important
announcement
for Norval Greenwood
of 91622 West Linden Drive,
Beverly Hills, California!
You and the rest
of the Greenwood family
are now officially fucked!
It's official!
[Norval panting]
[car engine starts]
[Jethro] Precious?
Yeah, yeah.
My name's Jethro.
I'm a mate of Dandy's.
Yeah. I was the guy sitting
in the corner watching.
Yeah.
Look, listen.
Could you meet me at the hotel
for a session?
Like, I'm really stressed.
Please.
As soon as you can.
Oh, you're an angel.
[Norval panting]
[rain pouring]
[car door closes]
[grunting]
[crossbow fires]
Fuck.
Shit.
[vehicle approaching]
[thunder rumbling]
Hi.
- Are you a prostitute?
- Excuse me?
Whatever he pays,
I'll triple it.
All you have to do
is leave the door open
a little when you leave.
- [scoffs]
- Listen, Precious...
How in the fuck do you know
my name?
Get the fuck out of here
before I tear your nuts off.
- [clears throat]
- [knocks on door]
[Norval] Oh, shit.
Hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Oh. Okay.
How can I help you, sir?
Uh, I'd like to rent a room,
please.
Ah, no, no, no, no.
The whole motel is booked out,
what with the geology
conference in town.
- Geology conference?
- [man] Yeah.
It's really a swinger's
convention.
I shit you not.
I have a whole motel full
of flabby sex people,
just doing whatever they do.
But, um, we do have
one family unit available,
but it's, uh, further down
the road.
- I'd prefer a room here.
- [Danny] Yeah.
I bet you would prefer
a room here.
But as I already said,
there are geologists
in every room of the motel,
bar none.
The one that is available
is a family unit
some distance away.
Now, would you like to rent
said family unit?
Or do you want to keep
doing what we're doing here?
- Maybe later.
- Okay, maybe later.
Bye now.
[sighs]
[thunder rumbling]
- [door closes]
- Hey.
Yes?
I thought I might let you know
there's a suspicious woman
lingering by a car out there.
A suspicious woman?
Trust me. Yeah.
She's legit.
Okay. So, you're clearly
some kind of sex freak.
But I am intrigued,
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm serious.
Incredible body.
All right.
Full disclosure,
I'm gonna put all my cards
on the table.
I'm what's known in medical
circles as a titty-holic.
All right?
So, naturally my next question
to you is does she, like...
Let me stop you right there,
and say that if this woman
were shopping for bras,
she'd be found in the area
designated Double D.
Okay, well,
sir, I will just be right back.
Give me a minute,
I'll go and investigate.
- [door opens]
- I'll get to the bottom of this.
All right.
[air hissing]
[moaning]
[Precious] Huh?
How do you like that shit,
you limp-dicked fuckface?
[Jethro] Really get
aggressive now. Really pull.
- Harder!
- [Precious] Fuck you.
[Jethro moaning]
[keys rattling]
[Jethro] Use the red one.
[Norval gasps]
- [clicks]
- [moaning on TV]
[gasps]
[keys rattling]
[speaking Russian]
[speaking Russian]
[both speaking Russian]
[speaking Russian]
[Norval grunting] Come on.
[Precious]
Oh. So, you like that, huh?
What did I say?
This is private business.
Now, fuck off!
Uh, listen, Precious,
my fight isn't with you.
Agree to disagree.
[grunting]
Hold him tight for me, Precious.
[Norval groans]
Now, you are going to die here.
And I'm going to L.A.
So, do have any little message
for your mommy?
Tell her I love her.
[Jethro laughs]
I'm gonna specifically tell her
that you don't love her.
[grunting]
Bastard!
[Jethro laughs]
- Get...
- [Norval groans]
...fucking in!
[laughs]
Oh, bugger.
That was supposed to go
in your ear.
- Sorry about that.
- [Precious] Oh!
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Ah, shit.
Hey. No, no, no, no.
Hey!
I think you killed him.
You killed him,
you big tonk twat.
You just fuckin' squeezed
the life clean out of him.
I watched you.
[speaking Russian]
[speaking Russian]
Do you know something?
Sod this fuckin'
sad-sack situation.
I'm out of here like Vladimir.
You are a cold-blooded
psychopath.
I'm a psychopath?
You're a muscle-bound prozzie
who gets lonely men
into headlocks for cash!
And let me tell you
something else, sweetheart,
there's been this invention
called deodorant.
You should try it sometime.
All right?
Jesus!
[speaking Russian]
[Precious sighs]
Oh, fuck.
[door opens]
What the fuck?
Fuck.
[beeping]
[Jethro]
♪ California, here I come ♪
♪ Right back
where we started from ♪
♪ I got that California itch ♪
♪ I'm gonna kill your momma
and leave her in a ditch ♪
Yeah.
♪ Better go tell her
Jethro's coming for her ♪
- [humming]
- [rock music playing]
Yeah.
[Precious] I'm, like,
an accessory to murder.
This is... Oh, shit.
This is, like, oh...
It's, like, a life sentence.
[labored breath]
Hi.
[car engine revving]
[rock music playing]
[tires screeching]
[car crashes]
[grunting]
[rock music playing]
[Norval groaning]
[Jethro] Listen very carefully,
Norval.
This is very important.
So, it's vital
that you listen carefully.
Right?
Your mother is a prostitute.
That's how your father met her.
He was a frequent flier.
You think her name
is Jacqueline.
But her real name is Annie.
I fucked her.
I fucked her in an abandoned
factory to be precise.
But I lost my erection.
Because from certain angles,
she reminded me
of Michael Heseltine.
Michael Heseltine...
if you're wondering...
is a British politician
from the 1980s.
[train horn blowing]
[grunting]
Arthur!
[panting]
[Brian] Dear Son.
It's me, your Dad.
It's been a while, hasn't it?
It's fair to say, I've not
been the world's best father.
In fact, if someone
were to accuse me
of being a shit excuse for one,
well...
I wouldn't have much of
a defense, would I?
But I want that to change.
Maybe you'd rather shit
a razor blade
than have your old man
back in your life.
But if not,
here's where you can find me.
I hope to see you soon, son.
And I hope you can find it
in your heart
to forgive your old man.
With love, always,
your father.
[grunting]
[birds squawking]
[Norval groaning]
I have to tell you something.
But I'm afraid
it makes me sound
like a bad person.
[panting]
I never let Mom get over you.
Every man that came along,
I drove them away.
She had so many chances
to be happy.
And I never let her.
I always thought
you'd come back.
And then we'd pick up
where we left off.
Why did you write to me?
Dad?
Why... why did you write to me?
[Jethro] Fuck this shit!
[door slams]