Cándida (2006) - full transcript

Cándida is an lowly maid in Madrid, where she scrapes to get by and help her two useless sons, a junkie and a basket case. As her family situation goes from bad to worse, her travails inspire other people.

When I was 4 years old,
my father went off to war,

leaving no word of his return.

That's when I started cleaning houses

and I haven't stopped since.

Hard work got me this apartment,

where I raised my family. No easy task

I assure you.

Especially when my mother
and husband were still alive.

They hated each other.

Always screaming. These
walls have seen more screams

than coats of paint.



Glory to the Father the Son

and the Holy Spirit.

The humidity is the worst part.

Believe you me

I've seen my share of cold winters.

I'd long for summer to arrive
because then I would only starve.

That's why when I die I
want to be buried in flames.

I want to go out nice
and warm, like a chestnut.

Wouldn't that be nice. How lovely!

Like what happened to me last summer.

Javi my youngest son was restless.

Whenever I turned around he'd
cross the freeway by himself.

Watch out you clown!

I'd say "Stay in the house"



"because it's subsidized by the government"

"You're safe here"

But he loved the countryside.

He loved to go camping, even without a tent.

I'd always say

"Son if you aren't coming home let me know"

"Is that too much to ask"

Was-up? I'm fine.

His brother Julian got a
job as a street cleaner.

The boy was out of his mind.

He wanted to check into an asylum but
the doctor said there was no need,

that he suffered from nerve endings.

A condition treated very nicely with pills.

"Quit smoking" I said.

"We'll have to donate your body to Public Works"

"to pave the roads with"

Stop!

Give me a cigarette.

He and his brother

got along great.

You don't have Winston?

- No.
- Forget it then.

It's over.

My only company at home was a television.

It showed me a world full of colour,
much less lonely than my own.

By then I was a widow.

At least my husband died a sweet death.

He died full of liquor,
like a chocolate bon-bon.

He drank whisky like a baby drinks milk.

The day he died was a day of mourning

for the Spanish wine industry.

Where have you been all night?

I can't say mum.

I can't either.

What happened to my clock?

It fell.

Where are the pieces?

- I threw them out.
- Balcony?

Mum come on it was worthless anyway.

I'll buy you a better one okay?

Now you're going to sleep like a bat?

Javi find a decent job like your brother.

Just a quick little nap mum.

I'm feeling a bit chilly.

Take off those wet clothes
and dry them on the heater.

The tank isn't here.

You already sold it?

I work so hard so we can buy things!

It was a gift mum.

It wasn't even yours.

Don't worry so much.

I can't take it anymore!

I'd rise to work to the call
of the rooster downstairs,

a filthy man

who used to beat my neighbour Blasa.

♫ To those hurt, to those hurt ♪

♪ To those hurt by love... ♫

Son of a bitch!

I'll gouge your eyes out you bastard!

I loved my neighbourhood

but every morning I had to leave it behind.

♪ Every lighthouse has its beam. ♫

♫ Every name has its voice. ♫

♫ Every light shines equally as bright. ♪

♪ Every voice sounds equally as clear. ♪

♫ Every ship fights the current ♫

♪ crossing its own sea of destiny. ♪

♪ Every ocean ♫

♪ can be sailed. ♪

♪ Deep in reason ♫

♫ and mysterious ♪

♪ is the secret life ♫

♫ of lesser things. ♫

♪ Of lesser things. ♪

♪ Of lesser things. ♫

♫ Of lesser things. ♪

♫ Of lesser things. ♫

- Hi Flores how are we doing?
- Bad.

Tell that guy on the 6th floor
to put a diaper on his dog.

She's a mammal and
she gets her period too.

Tell him yourself, you're the one with

a degree as a doorman.

Besides the dog is male.

Male? Yeah right, just like its owner.

Because between us, frankly that guy Riki

who lives on the 6th floor is gay.

Gay what's that for?

A fairy, which is what
they've always been called.

But apparently now they're calling it "gay"

Mr Riki told me he's married.

Yeah.

Though I've never seen his wife

and you never will. You don't know this

but every weekend he brings a young guy here

to the apartment.

Hello Mr Riki.

Mr Ricardo!

Mr Riki was probably a millionaire,

because he was swimming in dough.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays I walked his dog

which he named after a
luxury supermarket "Hipercor"

In my neighbourhood we'd have called him "7-11"

Say hi to Candida Iberico.

- Say hi.
- Hi Iberico.

Hi Iberico.

Iberico wants to go for a walk.
Will you walk me Candida?

Flores might be right after all,

that you're homosexual.

So what if I were?

That's exactly what I said.

Women are always so nosy!

Go on,

go on.

The Countess of Banco de España
introduced me to Riki.

You're still over there Candida?

Hurry up it's almost lunchtime.

She was better than sliced bread.

You still have to make lunch
and polish the silver.

Did you like the geranium?
I could take a cutting.

Yes they're pretty but they drink
a lot and I pay the water bill.

Alright.

Tomorrow you're going to
make stew without meat.

What matters

- is the flavour.
- Right the flavour.

Nutrition is also a plus.

Go on, always being so extravagant

and you're always broke.

With what I earn!

You need to economize better,
like everyone else.

Stop splurging.

I'm always helping you out.

Just to show you go ahead and take

this carton of milk home, it has expired.

The count can't drink it,
his stomach is too sensitive.

You people are used to it so it's fine.

Israel has once again violated...

The count had an autographed
photo of King Alfonso XXL,

an extra large king.

He had quite an office,

with perishable animals on the walls

and a built in TV set with anchors so eloquent

you'd believe anything they said, even a lie.

Delays, limited access and random check points

are having a negative impact
on the sick and wounded

in areas affected by the bombing.

Time now for sports.

We're all worried Santi because it looks like

Nadals knee injury is acting up.

Well after those images "worried"
might not be the word.

But tennis fans certainly must be.

Yes I suppose.

Clearly.

Finished!

Marichu!

- Weapons are awful.
- Spare me your nonsense please!

Without weapons the Moors
would be in the Pyrenees

and you'd be wearing a veil.

Wearing a veil and
without a clitoris!

Luis Pedro for the love of God.

It's true woman.

No wonder you have stomach problems.

You're so tense you're going
to bust an artery vein!

Candida don't start.

Just like what my mother in law says.

And just what does
your mother in law say

if I may ask?

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!

Oh what a big fat mouth we have!

Oh what a big fat arse we have!

You could fit my daughter in
law inside with her hat on.

Forgive my mother in law. She
thinks being nice costs money.

She hasn't been the same
since her cerebral orgasm.

I can't wait for her to be discharged.

Just what I needed another mouth to feed.

Goodbye darling.

Filthy animal get out. I
can't even look at you.

Damn that nasty bitch.

- And your husband how is he doing?
- Grandma he died three years ago.

So nothing's changed.

I told my Javi "Go take care of grandma"

And he said "Mama you go
I'm going job hunting"

Me ugly?

I'll sing the song again. Come on kids!

He was always asking me
to buy him a record player.

"Find a steady job and buy one yourself"

He wanted to be a singer.
He just loved music.

So he started singing at fancy restaurants.

Mr Pablo the Land Cruiser, right?

With heated seats, hey?

But since they wouldn't let him inside,

he'd wait for the customers at
the exit and sing in the street.

Well think about it Pablo.

We can word the ad however you like.

The wording is just fine. "I fly safe"

Change whatever you want.
They're dying for you to.

Look I do a news show,

not billboards selling trips
to the Caribbean.

You have plenty of colleagues promoting products.

Right but to me.

Look I'm in a huge hurry as usual.

I'll call you in a couple days.

Thanks, sorry.

Damn it!

Who would ever stick their hand in there?

♫ My oh my. My oh my ♪

♫ even your feet are pretty as pie. ♫

♪ Even your feet are pretty as pie. ♪

No way in hell.

You can see it there. It's
a mobile phone, right?

You can see it shining in all the crap.

With a taxi charm hanging from it.

Yeah.

No way in hell.

Maybe my brother, he's got arms more like this.

But my shoulder runs out
at the end of my arm.

Looks like you'll have to
tip the boy Mr Pablo.

The mobile is long gone.

I was about to say that.

I came out fighting like my father,

who served in two other
wars after the Civil War.

He got shot in the ear in France

and got shot in the leg in Germany.

He was lucky enough to get
injured in every war he fought in.

So he got a double pension but
we didn't inherit a penny of it.

I must be so deaf because my
father got shot in the ear.

Because deafness is transmitted by germs.

Take my eldest son Teodosio. He
turned from alcoholism to socialism.

He was so nasty he spent all his time
at the union accusing people of stuff.

A hard working and very honest boy.

I'm going Teodosio. I
left everything spotless.

I almost forgot. While
cleaning I found a bill.

- Return it to its owner.
- Okay mum I will.

- See you Wednesday son.
- Goodbye.

Tickets.

Ma'am.

I have four children.
Three males and a female

Trini who I hardly ever see.

Mama!

They're hard to raise but
later they light up your life.

Hi Trini what a surprise.

We can't give you a ride mum.
Eusebio has a graduation party.

What kind of graduation?

Military what a bunch of jerks!

Well it was nice seeing you.
Kiss the baby for me.

- He must be huge.
- You'll see for yourself.

We left him for you. Give him
some dinner we didn't have time.

Let's go!

Javi.

Javi!

Javi!

Julian didn't you have the night
shift, what are you doing?

Watching TV, why?

- Where's the TV?
- Javi took it.

He needed it. Why?

- You didn't say anything?
- No I was sitting here watching

commercials and didn't notice. Why?

Shouldn't you be hosing
down the streets?

I quit the hose was
giving me rheumatism.

Who puts those ideas into your head?

The Martians.

- The Martians?
- They send me messages

on the TV through the commercials.

Did the Martians tell you to
eat the whole box of cookies?

They said I need fibre to
take care of my insides.

With all that fibre you'll poop nylon socks.

Do I have to go back to City Hall tomorrow

to beg them not to fire you?

How many times have I been?

Blasa dear did that horrible
husband of yours hit you again?

- I'm going to throw myself onto the subway tracks.
- Again?

I'm insured as a street cleaner so

we'll collect a million pesetas. Go pick it up.

Yeah okay.

Bye Mrs Blasa.

Look Blasa you need to file a
police report tomorrow first thing.

Tomorrow it's my turn to clean the stairs.

Okay I'll do them for you.

By any chance have you made dinner?

I just couldn't drag myself to
the store after the argument.

Weren't you going to go kill yourself?

I decided against it because it's getting chilly out.

Here I'll see what I can do.

Finger power.

You smoke four packs a
day, two litres of beer.

A kilo each of lentils and garbanzo beans

and all at the same time. You'd eat the
whole fridge if it fit in your mouth.

Have me committed mama.

Commit me. Mama commit me.

- Leave me alone.
- Mama commit me.

Mama commit me. Commit me.

Mama!

What are you doing this isn't your stop.

- You'll get fired.
- Put me away or I'll kill myself.

- Get on!
- No!

I'll kill myself.

- I can't hear you.
- It's over!

Put me away or I'll kill myself!

- Put me away or I'll kill myself!
- What are you saying?

Put me away or I'll kill myself!

- Yeah like yesterday.
- No I'll do it!

- Get on the bus.
- Farewell mum!

Wouldn't you know

I killed myself

but only a little on the outside.

Just to show you how badly I need help mama.

Your nonsense will kill me
one of these days.

Gods angel told Mary

and granted the work of the Holy Spirit.

Hail Mary full of grace,

the Lord is with you.

Rub harder or the stains won't come out.

Blessed are thou amongst women and
blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.

Hail Mary mother of God.

My son Julian is now a mental
patient. A real shame

losing the extra money he brought in.

Until he gets his partial
workers compensation

I don't know how we'll get by.

- I am the Lords slave.
- Shape me with thy word

oh Lord shed thy grace upon us.

Through thy angels intervention we
have met the incarnation of thy son.

You should have this one committed as well.

You know the count doesn't
like you bringing him over.

Amen.

Don't get up Candida.

Later your back will hurt
from standing up straight.

You must be careful at your age.

And hurry up there's a pile of ironing to do.

Javi show her the prize
I won in a chocolate egg.

I got fined 10 euros for losing my subway ticket.

A taxi would have been cheaper.

You're always making trouble for yourself.

The advantage to cutting the slices extra
thin is when they fall, it gives you time

to catch them before they hit the ground.

- Can I have an advance for the fine?
- Come on

I've advanced you money plenty of times

and the books don't add up.

And another thing I have to
take the hours you missed today

out of your pay. All in all you make
more than a government official.

Yeah but they work sitting down
and I'm on my knees all day.

My mother's a widow and has no support.

Not like you. You have the count
to bring joy to your life.

"Joy to my life"

My Luis Pedro? Try maybe 30 years ago.

Oh fine.

30 years without your husband
giving you pleasure.

Damn 30 years!

Then for all practical purposes
you're a virgin again.

Look Candida I'm going to
do some window shopping

to make myself feel better
and when I get back

I don't want to see this boy here.

As long as you're going out can you
pick me up two packs of cigarettes?

- Aunt Marichu isn't upset is she?
- No, no.

Back to our game, let's finish up.

One, two and three.

Light infantry against knight, destroyed.

You have to turn around and with that column

behind you, you have to withdraw all
your troops from the battlefield.

So my Christians win like they did in the real

battle of Clavijo, in the name of Santiago.

Santiago the Apostle?

No Santiago Carillo.
Give me a break. Of course.

The founder of Spain.

Tell me where you got this wallet.

Right now.

I took it from the priest.
Are you happy now?

Give it back. Don't you know stealing from a priest

is a triple mortal sin!

- Can we help you?
- I have a confession to make.

- Hail Mary full of grace.
- Morituti te salutan.

- But my son did you have your first communion?
- Yes but it was a civil service.

Okay tell me what's bothering you.

What did you do son?

I took a wallet, can I give it to you?

No absolutely not I don't want it.

What you must do is return it to its owner.

I already asked the owner. He said
he absolutely doesn't want it.

Then you can keep it.

Okay.

In the name of the Father,
the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Go in peace and remember you
bring the Lord joy in heaven.

That's what I was going to say.

Hey man if you need anything talk
to my mum. I'm heading home.

I loved going to the market.

Pure butter.

- You want the head?
- No thanks Paco.

There you could see animals,
fish and minerals of all races,

without differences in gender or smell.

We'll settle up on Friday.

- Go with God.
- See you later.

Candida darling how's the family?

Hanging in there.

The youngest is still at
home. A drug addict.

Always selling my stuff.

I can't take it anymore.

If it were me I'd take his lazy
arse out to the countryside

to plant potatoes 12 hours a day.
That'd get him off the drugs.

I have mackerel on sale.

- How much?
- 600 pesetas. 3 euros.

You'd better just give me
the head that lady left.

I'll make some fish soup
for my son. He loves it.

Alright.

They used to show documentaries
about the lives of those fish.

I liked watching them but
Javi sold my television.

I missed all the interesting stuff on telly.

- Hi how are you Santi?
- Fine.

- Hi Pablo.
- Hi.

Macarena Rivas from Marsans Travel Agency

called 3 times. She tried your mobile phone

but some clueless weirdo keeps answering.

What mobile phone? It fell in the sewer.

Why didn't you tell me so I could cancel it?

Because I haven't had time!

Look mum you see all this?

Some day when I die, this will all be yours.

Are you stupid or what?
Tell me where the TV is.

- Come on let's go.
- You'd better go alone.

This is a bad time for me.

Since when do you have a mobile
phone? You must have stolen it.

No a friend lent it to me so
he could track me down.

Then answer it. All that ringing
is a waste of electricity.

Yes?

- Who are you?
- Was-up?

Arsehole couldn't reach
it hey? Son of a bitch.

He's too uptight.

- Alright ma'am?
- Actually my boy got robbed and they kept my TV.

Why don't you gentlemen
help us get it back?

Lady not even the Big Bad
Wolf goes in that slum.

I want my television back.

Go right ahead but we
can't be held responsible.

Local cops are such cowards.
So unlike the national guard!

Come.

- Let me borrow a rifle at least.
- Go on scram.

To defend my mother.

♪ Ali-ali-oh, ali-ali-oh ♪

Come on

show me where you sold the TV.

Come on.

- Where was it?
- There.

Come on let's go.

Good afternoon ma'am.

There's been a misunderstanding. My
boy sold my TV without my permission.

What are you saying lady?
There's no television.

- No and whose TV is that?
- My husband worked his arse off for that!

Did he, let's make sure.

I happen to still have the remote control.

There you are.

One, two and three.

It looks like the master obeys the dog.

The cops are up on that hill. Give
it back or they'll come down here

and take apart your little
house. How about it?

What did you say?
I'll gut you like a pig.

My cousin gave us this
TV 4 or 6 years ago.

- I bought that TV myself!
- Bullshit!

I paid €120 for it at the supermarket.

I still have 4 payments left. It's my only joy.

You'll have to kill me.

- How much will you give me?
- The €20 you gave my son for it.

And I don't have it on me.

So how about it?

Hey!

Silly Americans!

Milk is healthy.
For my kids it's ideal...

I'd take his lazy arse out to the countryside

to plant potatoes 12 hours a day.

That'd get him off the drugs.

Look mum. Look what I picked today.

- Great Javi where's your brother?
- Rounding up the cattle and tilling the fields.

Mama!

Quite a rabbit for only three people.

What do you mean three we're all here.

♪ Milk, milk, milk, milk... ♫

ENTIRE FAMILY SING TOGETHER

Milk it does a body good.

It helps my boys grow up nice and healthy.

I want what's best for my family.
We trust nature, we drink milk.

Mister Pablo was always in such a hurry

he had to look straight ahead all the
time. Which meant he never looked

at those who were on his side.

Slow down darling please.
What you doing?

The day I met him Miss Monica was
just about ready to give up on him.

She was English and that very same day
she decided to move back to New York.

Watch out!

Oh my God!

They say there's a great woman
behind every great man.

But if the great man doesn't turn his head

he doesn't realize.

And Mister Pablo used to being a newscaster,

always looked straight ahead.

Not so fast Iberico!

- You're so clumsy today.
- What do you expect?

I was walking the dog when a car came along.

Don't remind Hipercor it upsets him.

You're worried about the dog?
It didn't even touch him.

I'm the one that got flattened.

The car was fantastic.
Good thing I didn't scratch it.

The car is fine.

The driver turned out to be a
newscaster I know on television.

He was with his very nice wife Monica.

She gave me her phone number.

I'm lucky I got run over by nice people.

Put some clothes on would you?

- You two get along so well together.
- Yeah it's too bad we're kept apart

by extenuating circumstances.

People are so cruel.

Poor thing he's freaked out
from all the commotion.

I'll take him to the sea this weekend.

Can you believe it two years old
and he's never seen the sea!

I haven't seen it either.

I've got my bucket here to splash around

but it's probably nothing
like the big blue sea.

Hello Candida.

- Don't your kids help you out?
- Oh sister

they show up like ants on
the first of the month.

"Mum give me a kilo of garbanzo
beans" "Mum give me a jug of oil"

"Money for smokes" But never
around when I need them.

My daughter Trini living in style, a
fancy car that looks like an aeroplane.

She says if she helps me,
she can't help herself.

And this one

look at him, a wasted soul.

He needs a job to straighten out.

No Candida not a job. He
needs to stop taking drugs.

I hope he will sister.

He has to want to.

There are some very good public therapy
centres. If you can get him to attend,

- he can go to a rehab in the country.
- We filled out the form.

Right mum?

But they said that without a reference letter

there's no way kung fu.

A guy from my neighbourhood

he got in because his uncle's
a sergeant in the army.

You know the ones who went to
Bosnia. It's who you know!

Oh my boy.

Got any coconut yogurt?

He's a handful.

Look Candida with all
the houses you clean

and all the places you go,
you must know somebody.

Someone influential to get him a spot.

- I hope we get lucky.
- I'll get him started with therapy.

He'd better show up.

I hope so sister. Thank you very much.

Come on Javi.

Oh my!

Sure you too.

Wait a second while I get a stimulant.

- Will you play the song?
- No.

Poor thing he fell asleep.

What happened?

- Do you think I'm stupid?
- Yes.

Asleep again.

Okay I'll play so that the witch goes away.

But you may be the one to disappear.

Me a witch?

Take that!

Stop hitting me I'll play.

Hey, hey! Shit.

It looks like there's no music today because

some mother fucker out there
stole my cassette player.

And if I catch him

I'll smash his brains in, damn it!

Hey don't overdo it man. Take it easy.

"Take it easy"

Stop you animal you'll kill my son.

He's the only animal here lady.

And for whatever he's worth,
he'd be better off dead.

Ooh!

It's no big deal mama.

"No big deal" it says here.

"Court Summons"

As far as I know honest workers
aren't summoned to appear in court.

It's probably about my expired drivers license.

I can't take it anymore.

I'd rather die all at once
than a little bit everyday.

- Your eye's turning black.
- The puppeteer left a smudge.

- Poor thing.
- You're hurting me mama.

Mama as soon as I record my first song,

I'll buy you a big house
surrounded by maple trees.

If you want to give me a gift, do
like the nun said "Stop taking drugs"

I want to quit mum I just can't.

Don't stare you'll go blind.

Redheads are exactly my type.

A redhead with a big mouth. Exactly my type.

- Hand the pills over.
- They're for a cough.

What cough do you have?

THREE MONTHS LATER

Feeling guilty Javi promised to get a haircut.

But the barber refused. "You
know how long it would take?"

Longer than shaving a donkey.
You could burn it off faster.

Then he wanted to try out for Spanish Idol

and he wanted a new track suit.

I told him "When I see you've
quit I'll buy you one"

"Mama I'm already better.
Check out my legs"

"Javi legs don't mirror the soul"

Mr Marzán!

You look like you saw a wolf.

Excuse me, have we met?

You almost ran me over, remember?

Are yes, yes. What are you doing here?

Nobody answers the
number your wife gave me.

Right because I'm never home.

Then why have a phone it's a waste of money.

Sure. Can I help you with something?

Yes I came from Madrid.
Can you take me back?

- How did you get here?
- Hey lady

don't try to stiff me.

€38 all the way from downtown.

Plus the return. We left the city limits.

Madrid is prettier when you
don't have to watch the meter.

- Right, right.
- It's beautiful.

And my son Javi's taking a
preparation class on drugs.

He needs a recommendation for
the rehab. Can you can get him one?

He's a good boy, you'll meet him

when I start working at your
house. Two days a week.

- Two days a week?
- That might be too much.

- Just Wednesdays?
- Wednesday.

Here for that cough.

No thank you.

- Really.
- Go ahead.

You can take them later.

- Can my Javi sing on your TV show?
- Hey

I like watching the news and stuff.

I read the paper when I can.

Very interesting Javier.
Which newspaper do you read?

- I like La Razón.
- Here we go.

La Razón. La Razón.

That's a right wing paper. How
could a junky be a conservative?

Spain is doing great.

How can two crooks like you
say Spain is doing great?

It's never been easier to rob here!

Spain isn't just doing great,
Spain is the fucking best!

Okay,

alright.

We'll debate this another time.

I'd like to propose an exercise.

To quit drugs it helps to
change your environment.

Your neighbourhood, habits, friendships.

Like my mum, she wants me
gardening in the countryside.

Precisely but it's difficult isn't it Javier?

Like I told her. "It's pretty damn hard"

But there is a way. If we can't change
where we live, we change ourselves.

Bullshit!

Let me explain.

The idea is that starting now
we stop being who we are

and we play the role of a character.

Like in theatre but in our everyday life.

- I want to be Jimi Hendrix.
- Right on.

It might be a better idea to pick

someone who didn't die of an overdose.

Alright Javier.

Juanfran let's hear it.
Who is your character?

Pontius Pilate.

Who knows who Pontius Pilate was?

That mother fucker who almost
took away Easter break.

Okay, okay.

Come on sit down.

♪ Where in hell can you go ♫

♫ Far from the things that you know ♪

♫ Far from the sprawl of concrete ♫

♪ That keeps crawling it's way ♪

♫ About a thousand miles a day ♪

♪ Take one last look behind ♫

♫ Commit this to memory and mind ♫

♫ Don't miss this wasteland, this terrible place ♪

♪ When you leave keep your heart off your sleeve ♫

♫ Motherland cradle me ♪

♫ Close my eyes lullaby me to sleep ♫

♪ keep me safe lie with me ♪

♪ Stay beside me don't go ♫

♪ Don't you go ♫

I'm sorry I left so suddenly.
I'm sorry I left you my love.

But look what I've brought.
We'll make a great stew.

Never leave me again.

You broke my heart.

Pablo I love to cook but for someone.

You were never home.

You weren't the same Pablo
anymore. You'd changed.

Always busy, always
something more important

than our life together.

Look.

You like the colour? I love orange.

We'll paint the whole place.

Start over and get rid of that painting.

- What's wrong with it?
- What you think? It's depressing and ugly.

Tomorrow we start painting, yes.

Tomorrow I can't darling I'm really busy.

Try to understand I've a very
important career on telly.

That's alright we'll paint the TV too.

What matters is being together.

- Monica hello?
- Pablo?

Where are you?

- Pablo?
- Candida?

I can finally hear you.

I'm bringing my son Javi over tomorrow.

Tomorrow but tomorrow's Thursday.
Didn't you come today?

You see I knew two days was
better. He's dying to get started.

- Right.
- He can do anything.

Can he paint?

What Javi needed was a nice girlfriend.

He'd been fooling around with some
drug addict he was crazy about

who used him to fix up her dads house for free.

He'd say "Kiss me"

"First change the floor tiles.
We'll kiss and get married"

And Javi changed the floor tiles.

"Kiss me"

"First paint the living room. We'll kiss
and get married" and Javi painted it.

- "Kiss me"
- "First fix the leak in the bathroom"

Finally Javi said "Enough is enough"

And she freaked out and said
"I won't marry you anymore"

- And Javi said "Why not"
- "Because you didn't fix the leak in the bathroom"

"So what we're not getting
married in the bathroom"

She was bad news.

Love is something you really
miss when you're in love.

My Javi was running around
madly in love all the time.

He just didn't know with who.

A boy as happy as a cartoon rabbit.

And he'd never heard those magic words

"I love you Javi"

Magic words that would
have pulled the poor rabbit

out of the hat of drug addiction.

The Chinese government will sell

stock options for 42 top state companies

to be converted into shares
and traded on the market.

- Bye Flores.
- Bye Candida.

I knew all too well as the saying goes,

that when God takes hold,
your days are numbered.

But I was determined to rescue my
Javi from his black and white world

and help him cross over to the
colourful, bright, happy world

of TV personalities.

What do you think of the
job? Looks great hey?

He deserves first prize. It's truly beautiful.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Are you nuts, what's your problem?

I'm experimenting with
the spirit of the colours.

Careful.

Perception is more important
than the work itself.

He's doing drug telepathy.

They told him to role play.

Since we're painting, he picked Pikachu.

Picasso mum, Picasso.

I'm going for a modern
style but it's a clean job.

Of course it is. Looks very nice.

- How's that ham doing pal?
- It's pretty good, it's just

that I like processed ham better.

It's juicier, this one has

- all this fat on it.
- My boy has quite

an appetite, he's an eater. Might
as well with the trial tomorrow.

He's got to look healthy.

If you dress up and look
nice they let you go.

If you look like a slob they
throw you to the dogs.

- He has a trial?
- Yes tomorrow.

That's why he's going on a ham binge.

In case he won't see any for awhile.

Don't worry nothing will happen to me mama.

If I finish the therapy,
they'll let me in the rehab.

My mother said you got me a spot, right?

Yeah more or less.

Don't be mad about the colour.
You're the one who chose it.

Damn it Candida I said salmon.

Salmon have always been grey.

- "Grey" salmon is grey.
- At the fish counter.

Candida please I meant
the colour of salmon

- on the inside!
- I've never seen one on the inside.

Take it easy, take it easy.

Hey don't I know you from somewhere?

Maybe from TV I watch it all the time.

Sure.

But things haven't been
the same since Hermida left.

Here try a croquette, they're home made.

Mmm.

Does Monica like croquettes?

Actually she loves them but
she's in America right now.

Look if you want you can send her
my mothers recipe by internet.

The phone company will give you a flat rate.

To those hurt.

To those hurt.

To those hurt by love.

Stop whining. All you do is whine all day!

What did you say?

I never whined in my whole life!

Not when the roof fell in

and not when they cut
off my mums breasts!

Schmuck!

- Shut up!
- You want it louder?

Shut up!

To those hurt by love!

- All you do is sing and drink!
- And lay down the law!

To those hurt by love, damn it!

Oh Blasa come in.

How can you let that filthy
creep hit you like that?

It's nothing I must have done it
myself when I left in such a rush.

- You want something to drink?
- I don't know.

If you have something cool like a Coca Cola.

It'll have to be Pepsi.

Julian escaped and showed
up with a beard like Jesus,

holding a file that recommended he
be treated in the emergency room.

It said "Diagnosis paranoid schizophrenia"

"Treatment Modecate in vial form. Signed"

"Public Mental Health coordinator"

Finger power.

- Julian what are you doing here?
- I'm out, why?

- What about the insane asylum?
- No mum

I left. Too many crazy people.

What's wrong with you boy?

The Martians are after me.
They chase me with a knife

and they and they,

they want to kill me.

They hit me in the back with a hammer
and they want to cut me in two

and put one half in each world.

- Have you been drinking?
- No ma'am, Mrs Blasa.

Finger power.

The Martians won't let me.

But do you guys have hallucinatory states

with self referential delusions
and general anxiety or what?

- Probably.
- Please.

A little bit of respect King Crimson,

King Crimson's the Beethoven of our time.

Without his hearing problems obviously.

Cover yourself.

Yeah Beethoven I may be your
neighbour but I'm also a woman.

- Good afternoon.
- We have a summons for you.

You police show up without me having to call.

The boy's getting dressed, he'll be right out.

He got 4 years. You read it right?

- Who Julian?
- No Javier Roman Caño.

He's your son right?

He was already in jail for
cutting inline at a movie.

They grabbed him so quick
he didn't even see the film.

It's totally unfair.

What an odd painting.

To get the whole picture you need cable.

He got five years in jail.

He went in clean and came out a drug addict.

Here I am busting my rear
to get him clean again

and with you setting up his spot in the rehab.

Are yes, yes.

And he gets busted for taking two doughnuts.

Isn't he handsome? He
always looks good in photos.

He's very photographic.

Hey Candida it says here

he held up a bakery with a weapon.

With a plastic knife you use to clean
your fingernails while camping.

The baker got spooked and the
kids ran out without paying

to avoid a scene.

Don't worry we'll find a lawyer who
will get him out. I'll handle it.

Thank you.

Good morning Don Ricardo

and company.

You like it?

A slip cover for the jug.

- What do you think?
- Totally gay.

Here Flores for you. Hot off the press.

- To what do I owe this honour?
- Nothing special.

No need to wait for a
specific date to give a gift.

- It's the sheer pleasure of giving.
- How nice.

Inside the Closet.

- Do it yourself?
- It's about closets.

Read it, you'll really enjoy it.

Can I take a swig?

That's what it's there for. Here drink.

- Disgusting!
- Disgusting it's tap water from this morning.

It tastes like mans sweat.

My water doesn't taste like that.

It must be something you ate earlier

and it's on your breath, that's all.

What happened?

He swallowed a mobile phone ma'am.

My son how are you?

I can't handle prison mum. I
want to leave and go to the rehab.

I know but you can't do these things.

You know how much those phones
cost? You could ruin the machinery.

Don't worry it came out intact in his faeces.

What fishies?

It came out in the toilet mum.

- You can pick it up at the exit.
- Okay.

Is it the right kind of magazine?

You bet it is.

Brunettes are exactly my type.

A brunette with a small mouth.

Exactly my type.

You know me so well.

Get well soon son.

Flores.

When I found out it was
Mr Luis Pedros saints day.

I thought how about a little gesture.

He's always treated me with so much respect

and who needs a fixed date
to take pleasure in giving?

Giving is a pleasure in itself.

Sure I thought. A pleasure.

Especially on such an important date
when one feels obliged to give.

Flores come in man, come in.

I like mine with a little bite, how about you?

Just a little.

It's nice to still have someone
decent left in the building

to have a cup of coffee with.

There are some very
strange people here.

You shouldn't have.

I chose it myself expressly for Mr Count.

See if I got it right.

Inside the Closet

Quite a Nativity Scene.

What soldiers, what bodies.

It would look fabulous with
an embroidered table skirt.

In the colours of the Spanish flag, naturally.

- Candida.
- Mr Pablo nice to see you.

- Why are you here so early?
- Otherwise I'd miss you.

You're always at the television
station. It's like a ghost lives here.

- What's this?
- Tallos.

Tallos?

Here in Madrid they say churros.
What are they called in New York?

- What do I care?
- Because of Monica.

Forget Monica we're finished.

Men sure are stubborn.

Why don't you surprise her with a visit?

What did your husband
surprise you all the time?

Oh my husband.

My husband didn't take me anywhere.

Not to the theatre. Never bought me flowers.

Never bought me a cake, never took me to dinner.

Just that one time he showed
up with a friend from work

and said "Here's some money"

"Take your mother in law and
your 6 kids to a movie"

I went to the movie it was called

"The Sound of Music"

I hated it because it was about
a nun who flirts with a lieutenant.

Garbage.

I hardly saw it.

At the intermission I said to my mother in law

"Let's go I'm not feeling well"

"But it's not over yet"

I was feeling very sick.

I dropped something on the stairs.

When I got home my husband and his friend
were dancing around in their underwear.

"You ruined my day you stupid
bitch" That really hurt.

You can't imagine.

What an ugly thing to say.

He looked so happy and I was so upset.

And he called me that word.

That really got to me.

I went into the bathroom,

sat down and a little baby plopped
right out of me, like a baby Jesus.

With a tiny little pebble for a willy.

My mother in law stuck it in an
empty coffee jar full of alcohol

and put it on the shelf. I saw
it everyday for 6 months.

It was so sad, it looked like a
baby Jesus so tiny and handsome.

Sitting there for 6 months.

Then I put it in a matchbox, took it to
the cemetery and went everyday to visit

the beautiful little boy. What a shame.

I was going to name him Pedro after
my father but I never got a chance.

I started bleeding like crazy.

I lost three litres of blood.

An ambulance came took me to
the hospital and tied my pipes.

My husband came.

I said "Listen here if you want
to be a father and husband"

"you can stay. Otherwise it's
time for you to be on your way"

Promises are made to be kept.

So he joined the Foreign Legion.
Dumped me with the kids.

You said it Candida "Promises are made to be kept"

Now what about that lawyer for my son?

Hey yes I'm working on it.

Don't you worry a couple
weeks in jail won't kill him.

Prisoners live like kings nowadays.

Yeah

like kings.

Anyway

I saw you had two bottles of wine

so I made you some sangria a little refreshment
for when you get home from work.

Thanks Candida.

♫ So deep inside me ♫

♪ the heat remains ♫

♫ that warms my heart. ♪

♪ Your love remains ♫

♪ so deep inside me ♪

♫ I can stay alive. ♫

♪ Die for love, ♪

♫ die for you. ♫

♪ Like waves searching for the seashore. ♪

♫ Like a sailor searching for
his port and his home. ♫

♫ I searched my soul hoping I'd find you ♪

♪ and all I found was loneliness. ♫

♫ And though you maybe far
away, so far away from me. ♫

♪ Though other men have kissed
you. Maybe Gwendolyn ♫

♪ you still remember once
upon a time we were in love. ♪

♪ You still remember me. ♫

♫ I remember once upon a
time you were by my side. ♫

♫ You spoke to me of love, my smile hadn't faded. ♪

♪ I still remember our love ♪

♪ and now ♫

♫ you leave me behind. ♫

♪ I remember once upon a time ♪

♫ when you were by my side. ♪

♪ You spoke of love, ♫

♫ my smile hadn't faded. ♪

♪ La-lah, la-lah ♪

♫ Lah-la, la-la-lah ♫

♪ La-lah, la-la-lah ♫

♪ La-lah, la-la-lum ♫

Evening ma'am. Your phone is disconnected right?

AUTUMN IN NEW YORK FOR €750

Alright already!

Hello.

Hello.

- Pablo, Pablo?
- Hello?

Pablo can't you hear me?

- Candida.
- My son Javi tried to kill himself.

What happened to that lawyer?

He's very badly burnt.

It's a miracle he's alive.
He set his mattress on fire.

Javi what did you do?

Nothing mum. I just did it to get out of here.

Enough nonsense. I'm taking
you out of here right now.

Yeah my mum told me. You're
looking into all the paperwork,

is that right?

Thanks a lot.

When I'm better I'll paint your
bedroom an interesting colour.

I've got another fish picked out.

Your son's a hero Candida.

Yeah a war hero.

Tell me how I can help.

Well

maybe you could put me on TV

so I can say hi to my brother.

- I'll be here tomorrow with a camera.
- You promise?

I swear.

You can't send him back
to prison in this condition.

Don't worry ma'am in terminal cases
like this they get sent home.

Sat nav: Turn right now.

Don't tell me what to do!

♫ Cradle me, close my eyes. ♪

♪ Lullaby me to sleep. ♫

♫ Keep me safe, lie with me. ♫

♫ Stay beside me don't go, ♪

♪ don't go. ♪

I know what it means to be far away.

When I was 12 the ladies from Social
Services separated me from my mother

and sent me to a boarding school.

♫ Keep me safe, lie with me. ♪

♪ Stay beside me don't go. ♪

The five years I was there I never
received a single letter or visitor.

Not a single kiss.

Sundays I'd see the rich
kids hugging their parents

and I felt completely left out.

Excuse me you're not allowed in here.

I was here yesterday I
promised to come back.

- You can't bring all that in here.
- Look I'm Pablo Marzán.

Yeah Pablo Marzan from
Marsans Travel. So what?

You can't go in here!

- Where are you going?
- Hi doctor.

I want to see Javier Roman. I was
here yesterday with his mother.

I made a promise and I have to keep it.

You don't say.

He isn't here, I promise.

- They moved him yesterday afternoon.
- Where?

I loved her so much she was everything to me.

She was my heart and soul.

This isn't happening!

Where has life taken me?
I'd rather stay home!

Where do I have to go now?

- Who is it?
- Pablo.

Candida?

My mum's not here, why?

- Are you Julian?
- Yes, why?

- I'm looking for your brother Javier.
- They took him away.

Away where, back to the hospital?

No, why?

Away where?

To bury him and stuff he
died last night, why?

- Okay over and out.
- Wait Julian where's your mother?

She went to City Hall to see
if she could get a grave.

When is the funeral?

I'm in a meeting with
the Martians right now,

they're showing me commercials.

Come up and wait for my
mum up here if you want.

In the name of the Father,
the Son and the Holy Spirit.

We commend to Thee our servant Javier.

My boy died because he lost his life.

He was perfectly healthy and
he was totalled like a car.

Nice people always finish first.

At least he was out of that cold prison.

He went out nice and warm
like a roasted chestnut.

My poor sweet little boy,
God preserve his soul.

What's wrong?

Is there sound?

We're in.

You're live.

I bet we'll finish late because of
him. What the hell is going on?

No idea.

I'm not getting a proper signal.
I'm not taking responsibility.

You're stupid.

Excuse me a second.

I have an interesting story

for all of you.

This morning Javi died he was 22 years old.

Go to sports!

Close up on Santi.

You're in!

Barcelona will leave

Ronaldinho on the bench against Betis.

Does Ronaldinho like croquettes?

The question is whether
they'll use Mesi or not.

Allow me to introduce my friend Candida.

She makes the best chicken
croquettes in the world.

What do you want me to say son?

She's Javis mother.

A boy who wanted to be somebody,
overlooked by a fool like me.

Should we cut?

No way I'm retiring in two months.
I want this on my resume.

Give me a close up of the old lady.

This is something else Don Luis Pedro.

Now you've got a first rate Nativity Scene.

Isn't that woman your?

Now I've seen it all.
The maid on the news!

We shouldn't be ashamed to say nice things.

The world's ugly enough as
it is without us ruining it.

Being nice doesn't cost money.
I've been scrubbing floors

and cleaning stairs all my life

and everything washes away.

I never saw a stain no matter how
tough that didn't come out with water.

You don't know how it feels to lose a child.

The world is full of lonely people
like my son who died without love.

What those people really need
is to be kissed by someone.

Because kisses are soft like water. They
wash away the stains of loneliness.

If we just helped each other...

This remote is a piece of crap!

Not to disagree or anything,
but that remote control

was my mobile phone.

Because the truth is we all
come from Adams pork chop.

Take homosexuals for example it's
nobody's fault they're like that.

And people are so critical

always bad mouthing them.

Isn't that the lady who walks Iberico?

That woman can do anything I admire her.

They don't hurt anyone.

For example I clean a writers house.

His name is Ricardo Aramendi

and he lives on the corner of
Conde de Aranda St and Serrano

at number 17, on the 4th floor.

And to be frank, well

he's a fairy.

Apparently he wants a young guy to move in.

Where the hell did that bitch
get the idea that I'm gay?

- It's nobodys business.
- What are you laughing at?

You'd better not be behind this,
I'll send you to boarding school.

- It wasn't me dad.
- She's nuts.

Wait till mum hears. She'll
use this as an excuse

- to not let me see you.
- Use what?

I should knock your head off!

Look at yourself you're a wreck.
ever since Monica left you.

Why don't you go after her?

You spend all day on TV.
You're eating yourself up.

They say too much TV is bad for your eyes.

Give her a call, use the company phone.

It's free they pick up the tab. Call her.

- Hello.
- Miss Monica?

Excuse me.

It's Candida the woman you ran over.

- What?
- You hit me with the car, remember?

- Oh yes how are you?
- Don't hang up hold the line.

Monica?

Monica it's Pablo.

Pablo and I...

I love you Monica. I love
you with all my heart.

When I get up in the morning,

in the street at lunchtime,

when I look out the window,
when I dream at night.

I love you all the time.

You're the best thing that's ever happened to me

and I beg for another chance.

He's in bad shape. He's all
in pieces like Frankenstein.

He deserves another chance.

I'll finish up and come find you

and together we'll go wherever you want.

Come live in suburbia by the freeway.
There's some great public housing.

Go and take a look.

I love you Monica.

I want to have kids with you.

- Two
- Better make it four.

Two each if you get divorced.

Kids are the joy of any home.

Okay Monica I love you.

I love you too Pablo. I love you so much.

Anyway...

That's enough telephone.

Pablo?

Candida

She got the message don't overdo it.

Alright ladies and gentlemen.
We're signing off for today.

Please forgive

the confusion. Part of doing
a live show I'm afraid.

We leave you with a special
message from our sponsor.

I hope you enjoy it.

Put it in, damn it!

All the lunatics in the asylum went
nuts when they saw Julian on TV.

Fellow Spaniards I have contacted
the Martians. I have bad news

the Martians are idiots. My
name is Julian. Finger power.

I'm returning to the asylum at
the request of the Martians.

I advise all of you out there to do the same.

Put yourselves away.

Okay Pablo buddy is that enough?

And another thing.

I'd like everybody to know that
although I don't suffer from stress,

I'm a carrier.

Champion! Champion!

Ew!

All my neighbours congratulated me.

"You looked great on TV Candida"
"That was amazing!"

A man on the train said "I recognize
you ma'am I've seen you on the news"

"Of course you recognize me. I've
been living here for 30 years."

I was hoping to go home again but without my Javi.

Julian committed and my
mother in law in the hospital

who needed me?

So I thought "Enough already
I can leave it all behind"

I took Pablo up on his offer and
went to New York on an aeroplane.

That looks like ice down there.

Those are clouds Candida.

Then if the sky is down there we
must be flying upside down.

Maybe the pilot is daft.

- Something to drink?
- No I can't.

- I'd need to go to the bathroom.
- Use the lavatory.

No I'm not budging from here.
I got a good window seat.

Someone might take it.

- This woman will flip in America.
- The ones who are going to flip are the Americans.

Will be some years.

Saving as unslaved to go back to India.

And now I give service to here.

He doesn't speak my language not even...

I have a full...

I can't believe the hats you Americans wear.

In Spain only the three Kings wear
them for the Christmas parade.

Thank you, thank you.

- Shall I take the Panatomic Parkway?
- I guess Rima is the name of the town.

- You know it right?
- No problem, no problem.

I know it.
♫ Michigan cowboy ♪

♪ riding my horse to the wide open spaces. ♫

♫ If you like a cowboy maybe you'd like me too. ♫

♪ That's right I'm a space cadet ♪

♪ Never met a birthday I'd unforget. ♫

♫ Never met a girl that... ♪

I dollar bet we there.

No problem, no problem.

♪ That's right I'm all broke down. ♫

♫ Can't get high enough to paint the town. ♫

♪ Can't get closer or disappear. ♪

♪ I'm turning to stone because of my fear. ♫

What's the name of the state again?
♫ Wish I were a baby ♫

♪ half asleep and beyond uncover. ♫

♪ If I were brand new maybe
you'd love me too. ♫

Jesus Christ.

♫ Or maybe I'd be with you. ♫

Wait here Candida I'll go in and ask.

Excuse me could you tell
me how to get to erm.

Is this how you're going to ask at each house?

American girls are too easy.

Well if it isn't Miss Monica!

You haven't changed a bit.
Skinnier but we'll fix that in no time.

Mmm it so good Candida.

- You have to teach me.
- They're easy to make.

The trick is to bread them twice so they
don't fall apart when you fry them.

Javis dream came true after all.

We imported the recipe to America.

This is like living on an electric train set.

- You like it Candida?
- It's beautiful.

Americans are so nice.

Though not as hairy as in the movies.

Yeah I saw "Planet of the Apes"

American actors and they were all hairy.

Candida what would you like
to do while you're here?

Nothing special. Whatever you do here in America.

Run! Run!

Candida run!

Candida stop!

♪ This land is your land, this land is my land. ♫

♫ From California to the New York island. ♫

♪ From the Redrock Forest to the Gulf Stream waters. ♪

♫ This land was made for you and me. ♪

Look for Iberico.
♫ As I was walking that ribbon of highway. ♪

♪ I saw above me that endless skyway. ♫

♫ I saw below me a golden valley. ♪

♫ This land was made for you and me. ♫

♫ This land is your land, this land is my land. ♪

♪ From California to the New York island. ♪

♫ from the Redrock Forest to the Gulf Stream waters. ♫

♪ this land was made for you and me. ♪

♪ This land is your land, this land is my land. ♫

♫ From California to the New York island. ♪

♪ This land is your land... ♫

Life is great in America this is like a dream for me.

You and Pablo have got it made.

Like Abraham and Eve in earthly paradise.

♫ From the Redrock Forest to the Gulf Stream waters. ♪

♪ This land was made for you and me. ♫

♪ The sun comes shining as I was strolling. ♪

♫ The wheat fields waving and the dust clouds rolling. ♫

♪ The fog was lifting a voice come chanting. ♪

♪ This land was made for you and me. ♫

♫ This land was made for you and me. ♫

What's the surprise?

- Let's see.
- Now.

- We have a favour to ask.
- If you need money, I'm broke.

If you can't afford the country start
off in public housing like everyone else.

- It's not that.
- Then what is it?

Hold on.

Over here.

You'll see.

If you like it, it's yours.

"If I like it" It's only missing the three chickens.

- How can I ever repay you?
- With Visa, Mastercard, American..

Come on Pablo!

How nice!

It's my son Julian.

He put in a new chip so he could
call me from the hospital.

- Hello.
- Mama when are you coming home?

- Aren't you in the hospital?
- I got out and stuff.

- I got a job and I miss you a lot.
- As a street cleaner again?

No it's a travel gig I got
from being on TV and stuff.

I'm with grandma she got out.
We bought you a present.

Finger power.

Come home and you can see it mama.

Okay son I love you take care.

I love you son.

It's hard to make a dream come true but
once you do you've reached your goal.

Then there's no more dreaming,
it's time to wake up again.

And when a mother wakes up
happy like I did last summer.

She only thinks about one thing,
tending her little chicks.

Candida this is for Julian.

Thank you.

Bye Candida.

Right

let's have some beers and
paint the house together.

"Paint the house" I can't right now Pablo.

I have to finish the sculpture for the show.
You'll have to take care of the house.

Hmm, sorry.

You are very fortunate madam I would love to

up and leave and go back to India.

But my older kid he marry and I
have a grandchild here in America.

At the end of the day you have to
stay where your children are.

Sure that's life.