Clowning (2022) - full transcript

They tell me
you're a killer.

Are you a killer, boy?

Some kind of killer clown
from outer space?

You're a real, real
funny guy, you know that?

You're a real comedian.

Want a cigarette?

- No.
- Go ahead.

Let me... Let me grab
ya a smoke kid, huh? Hmm?

Uh, is it turning
up a boy or a girl for you?

Son, actually.

any day now.



Mm. Mm-hmm.

First one?

Yeah.

Wife and I, well,
we kept swinging

for a daughter but kept
turning out soldiers.

Well, you know
what the thing is?

The thing is,
the first one's

where all the good feelings
crop up.

What was your thinking when you
first heard the breaking news?

When I found out
we were having a boy,

that's when it really hit me.

I'm someone's father.
I'm responsible for new life.

- Yeah...
- Well,.

You're gonna make
a responsible living



selling faggy-ass chapstick
to hippies on the beach, huh?

So, you thought
to yourself, "You know,

I better start
knocking some people off.

Uh, get into a new line
of work, maybe, huh?"

Are you pro?

I used to be.
Now I just do it for fun.

I've messed
with my cousin's board a bit.

Oh, yeah?

Okay! Yeah.

Yeah, I see you.

I've been savin' up, but my
mom won't throw down with me.

Yeah, saving can be tough.

How much you got?

Like, 30 bucks
and a Clif Bar.

A'right, let me see the money.
Sold.

- What? Really?
- Yeah.

You know, you're pretty limber
for an old man.

Are you vegan?

Morning, my beautiful bug.

That smells amazing.

It's my CBD balm.

I'm callin' it, "Harmony Rose."

Ew.

No, you can't call your balm

the same nickname
you call me.

How are we feeling today?

Feels like
he's still up from earlier.

My Uncle Jim called.

Woke me up about an hour ago.

Well...

Picked up those vitamins
you needed.

- Hmm.
- Also...

Got you some breakfast.

Babe, I thought
we didn't have the money.

No,
I said I wasn't sure.

Why, thanks, honeybee.

Is it money
from Mama Earth sales?

Yeah, yeah. Here.

Mm.
How was skating this morning?

Felt amazing.

Hmm.

- How was your sleep?
- Really good.

Jim told me to tell you that
he loves you and he misses you.

Working in his bank
wouldn't be all that bad.

It's not his bank.
He's the manager at a bank.

Okay, we're doing fine.

And Mama Earth
is about to take off.

If I was gonna work
in an office,

I'd be detective, you know?

Or something fun.

I know, babe, it's
just I get worried about us.

But if Mama Earth
doesn't take off?

It will. I promise.

- Howdy, Garrett.
- Hiya, Dante.

Hi, Crystal,
how's the bump doing?

Hi, Garrett,
beautiful morning.

Mm, if you like
sweating through

your foundation.

What do you
got going on?

Actually, could you
come help me? I'm trying

to hang a little
something on the wall.

Yeah, no problem.

We've been
vacationing in Costa Rica.

You remember? She couldn't
believe how much money

she saved from the Airbnb
they got for the week.

That look crooked to you?

Nope.
It's fine.

It's insane the amount
of money they're able to make

in a month
using their space.

So my mom thought...

Yeah, that's
a beach house in Costa Rica.

We live in Reseda,
California.

Granted,
beautiful weather,

but not the vacationing spot
many would hope for.

Yeah, yeah. You're...
You're right. I know it.

Just get it to me
when you can, okay?

I'll tell her
you already paid.

I do it for Crystal.

Don't go getting a swoll head

or I'll break your neck, kid.

How ya doin', honey?

I'm well, Sophia.

Just came to, uh,
drop off and pick up.

I'm sorry, I only sold
a few in the last two weeks.

You by chance don't

need any extra help here,
do ya?

We're all
fighting over hours as it is.

Dante!

- Ugliest flyer ever.
- Birthday clown wanted?

Says it pays $200.
How long is a birthday party?

Could be just the thing
I'm looking for.

Really. Thanks.

Good afternoon.

This is Em.
Who is this?

Hi, this is Dante.

Do you have any
clowning experience, Dante?

- Sure.
- Great.

Been a clown
my whole life.

That's funny.

We have a party
coming in late afternoon.

Is it that too soon for you?

What part of L.A.
are you in?

Write the address down.

The street's
usually clear for parking.

No permit needed.

Look for the balloons.

The spread of balloons

marks the party.

Ready?

You know what I think?

I think you'd been planning
this from the very beginning.

There wasn't a beginning, I'm...

Oh, come on!

Who all of a sudden
says to themself,

"Oh, I'll become
a fucking clown?

Yeah, and I'll make money."
I call bullshit, kid.

Well, it seemed different.
Fun.

So, uh, what?

You just took your last $50
out of your wallet

and went to the clown store?

A costume shop.
Yes.

It don't strike you as
funny that... that you knew...

- Hey!
- ... exactly where

the costume

shop was,
last minute-like?

Can I help you
with something?

Hm? Yeah, um...

I would like to become
a clown on a budget.

Are you thinking like a circus
clown or mass murdering clown?

Hm. Um, maybe somewhere
in between.

Hey.

How ya doing?

How's your afternoon?

Complete and peaceful.

How 'bout you, Sug?
Were your drop-offs successful?

Did ya sell a bunch?

Yeah, it was all

pretty successful.

That's great!

What did this week's
haul look like?

Uh, just about around 200.

I'm proud of you.

You on your way
back to our nest now?

No,
I have one more stop to make.

Well, hurry back to me, okay?
Love you.

All right, love you.

Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey!

- Dante!
- In the makeup!

Aren't you funny.

Well, you've arrived
just on time.

P! Dante.

- This is P, my better half.
- Oh, wow!

You look great!
It's Dante, is it?

Oh, jeez, just great.

Oh, he's even got
the big feet.

Wow, you really
came through for us.

Has it been tough
finding a clown?

- Well...
- Oh, I mean...

Em!
I said I wanted scary clowns.

Get it? Scary.

This guy looks like a turd!

Okay, well, here's
the birthday boy. Stanley.

Uh, I can be scary.

What scares ya?

If you could
use any weapon to kill

the most amount
of people you could

in the shortest amount of time,
what weapon would you choose?

- Okay, well...
- So, so sorry.

- His humor is all his own...
- Knock-knock jokes, always.

I'm looking
forward to seeing your show.

Tag, you're it!

- Yeah...
- Nice kid.

- Oh!
- Oh, yes, we are truly,

- truly blessed.
- Every day's a blessing,

you know? So...

Well, uh, let me introduce

you to the other clown.

Who?

Is that the birthday boy?

Happy birthday, Stanley.

How old are you today?

What's going on?
Am I fired?

What?

You have the nerve

to come in here to tell me

that I am being replaced...

I'm not replacing you...

I... By what?

By... by you?

You're a scrug.

- What's a scrug?
- A true scrug.

I think the idea is supposed
to be that we work together.

Hold the fucking number.
I cannot take this call.

Ah, jeez.

Hey, Em and P,
what the... whatever the hell

your names are. What the hell's
that clown doin' here?

- He's here to help you.
- He's great.

I'm your main clown,
you hired me.

- Yeah, we know.
- Yes, we did.

So what
the hell's he doing here?

Pele, was it?

- No, you don't have to.
- No, no, no, no, no.

What's your routine?

Well, I...
I don't have, um...

- I don't have a specific...
- What's your name?

- It's Dante.
- Like your clown name.

Like, "Hi, kids.
I'm Pele the Clown."

Well, can't I just
be Dante the Clown?

Dante's not
a really common name.

You don't strike me
as a Dante.

It's too cool for ya.

From now on,
you're gonna be...

Milo.
Milo the Rodeo Clown.

♪ He stumbles
and he falls ♪

♪ And he steps in shit ♪

♪ He's Milo,
the Rodeo Clown ♪

♪ The Rodeo Clown... ♪

All right,
all right, all right.

Mi... Milo, it is.

And now,
for your viewing pleasure...

it's Pele's Pity Party!

Awesome!

Hi, everyone!

Hi!

Welcome to Pele's Pity Party.

Yeah!

This is my dumb friend, Milo.
His throat is croaking.

Right, Milo?

Slap him again!
I didn't get a good shot!

Oh no, Milo...

Don't go off
to yourself and have a...

Pity Party!

Dance for us, Milo.

Sleepy time.

It's time for
our Pity Pop!

Whoo!

Come on up, Stanley!

Whoo!

Well...

This might just be the best
birthday party I ever had.

Oh, no, oh, no. I'm really
sorry. I'm... I'm sorry.

You know, I... I... I'm
not normally this cruel.

Swear.

Huh?

A free wrist clears
a foggy conscience. Hmm?

You know, it turns out
we found a lot of items

in that hippie van o' yours.

This your van?

- It's my girlfriend's.
- It's sweet.

You know, I'd be lying
if I said I wasn't impressed.

- Thanks.
- You took that like a champ.

Hey, birthday cake
is always a plus.

Such an old model.

None of the guys even have

a charger for that dead,
bland, piece of shit.

Maybe you have what it takes
to clown with me, after all.

Uh... no.

That was... That was
pretty heavy in there.

Listen.

I have this, uh...
these private events.

I have one this weekend.

It pays a grand.

You in?

- I dress like this?
- Yeah.

Just a couple o' clowns
out on the town.

All right, yeah.

Yeah.
Let's... Let's Pity Party it up.

Let's Pity Party
it up. For real?

♪ Pity Party, Pity Party, Pity
Party, Pity Party, Pity... ♪

Where'd you get that get-up?

The costume store.

It's pretty inexpensive,
actually.

I got hired
for a private event.

It's this weekend.

Of course, the "I" being
Milo the Rodeo Clown!

My baby's father
is a working clown.

You know, with these
experiences, you could

actually run away from home
and join the circus.

Probably be more money in that.

Could set us up real nice

when little Sequoia
or River comes along.

Which one you leaning
more towards, Rose?

Look, I'm really happy with
the way this one's turning out.

Oh, that looks great, love.

Yeah, I'm still
not sure about it all.

You naming someone,

feels like giving them
a life-long sentence.

Yeah, no, it's a strange idea.

- Is she cute?
- Who?

The woman who hired you.

Well, I took the job before
I knew there was a woman.

See?

Her name's Pele.
She's just another clown

at this birthday party.

- Is she pretty?
- No.

Honestly, she had clown
makeup on the whole time.

Babe. I gabbed
about you and our babe

the whole afternoon.

She offered me more work.
It's honestly a Godsend.

- I take back what I said.
- What'd you say?

That you were a little bitch
with no cock.

You didn't say that to me.

I didn't?

Wrong person.
Never mind.

Where should I park?

Right here.

Come on.

Darker environment
than I thought.

Darker the Pity Party.

Come on!

Can you juggle?

I used to be able to
a little bit, three balls.

Actually, kinda
interesting how I learned.

One summer I worked
at this kid's camp...

Wow, wow, wow, wow.
Very interesting story.

Just or no?

No, not really.

I don't fully know
how to juggle.

Okay, can you do
balloon animals?

If you show me a few.

So you have
to learn that, too?

Pele!
How do you stay so beautiful?

My baby, Tic Tac!
What up, baby?

Who's the fresh meat?

I'm Milo. And I guess

we're here for a Pity Party.

Pity Party,
Pity Party, Pity Party!

Well, put her there.

I'm Tic Tac.
This is my goddess, Bunny.

And this is my place!

I live up in the loft
up there.

So if you need anything,
just holler.

Uh, if I'm not there,
I'll either be kidnapped

or dead or relapsed.

I'm... I'm kidding!
I'm f... I'm four years clean.

I'm four y...
four months.

Have a great time.

I've been trying to get
a game of tag together.

You must play with me.

I haven't played tag
since I was a tiny nugget.

I know a place.

Hey, clown!
Touching my girl's wrist?

- No.
- No?

I see it
with my own two eyes.

- Look!
- Are you calling me a liar?

Because there's nothing
I hate worse

than someone questioning
my intelligence.

- I'm a smart guy.
- He doesn't like that.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, look at you.
I fucking hate clowns!

Ugly. You're ugly.
Fucking flabby, too.

Look at me.

I am fucking ripped, baby,
ripped!

- I will fuck you up.
- Yeah, I... I am flabby.

I try to eat right but I... I
cut my fast food consumption

down to, like, five times
a day and...

Are you hungry
right now?

I'm sorry.
I'm not interested.

Are you insulting
my girlfriend?

Huh?
You're too good for her?

No, no, no...

You piece of shit,
I will fuck...

Fuck.

Your girlfriend
tried to fuck a clown

while you're in the room.

It's pretty funny,
isn't it?

Think about it.
Own it. Let it settle.

Did you fucking push me?

Did you feel
like you got pushed?

Yeah, it felt like a wind
tried to blow me off my feet.

I felt that breeze, too.
So, uh, fuck off.

- Whoo!
- Uh... goodness!

Hey, I really appreciate
you helping me out.

Oh, my pleasure.
I love doing that.

He wasn't that tough, anyway.
Newt! My name's Newt!

- Newt?
- What the hell's a Newt?

I've heard of George
or Eric, or I dunno, Frank.

- But Newt?
- What? Newt.

Newt is the name
from my childhood.

It keeps me warm.

Something I picked up
along the way.

Well,
now I'm intrigued.

There's nothing
to be intrigued about.

Best movie
ever with Aliens.

Best character
in Aliens was Newt.

The little girl?

Uh, yeah, the little girl.

And she was badass,
she was tough.

Too tough to die 'cause
I'm a t-t-t-t-t-t-t-tough guy.

I got a halo.

Fuck do a couple o' clowns know
about best band of all time.

You know you can say...
tell a lot about a person

by who they choose is the best.

Whether it's the Beatles,
whether it's Elvis.

I'm like,
"Fuck them crybabies!"

It's all about the
one-two-three-four

- Ramones!
- Big fan then, are ya?

What's your name?

I... I'm Milo right now but
my government name is Dante.

Ooh, he's got
a government name. All right,

Milo, is that
your van out-front?

- Yeah.
- Big fucker...

- Yeah!
- Isn't it?

- Yeah.
- Bet you got it stuffed

to the brim in the back.

You a hoarder, Milo?

No, it's empty.

Me and my girlfriend used to

live in it up on Venice Beach

and she got pregnant
and we actually found

this really cute little
bungalow for pretty cheap.

I think
it'll be nice once, like,

the baby comes along
and it's us three.

You gonna raise
a baby on the clown money?

Do you make enough money
doing that?

- I... I make and sell balm.
- Balm?

Yeah!
Oh, you want some?

You gonna charge me, Milo?

No, no,

you... you saved my life.

Mama Earth.

That's my company.

Let's see, Milo.

Ooh, that's refreshing.

Move a lot of product?

It can be tough sometimes
to get stores to carry it,

but i... it's just
the healing oils.

Yeah, I cut out
all the garbage.

It's really good for you.
And everyone

that uses it, loves it.
It's really great stuff.

And you just gotta try it once

and people kinda keep

coming back, sort of thing.

That's fantastic.

Are you in the mood for an

idea 'cause I have an idea.

I've got some very legal work,

and I think the clown cover
might be perfect.

Cover for who?
The police?

How's it legal
if it needs a cover?

How is it you're asking
the complete wrong questions?

It... It should be
how much and when?

$10,000 a piece.

All you gotta do is drive
a load for me to Vegas.

Take your little hippie van.

Park it in
a specified spot.

Wait.
Come back in the morning.

Just like that!

Sounds pretty good to me.

Uh...

Are you seriously thinking
about this?

You live in a van.

$20,000 in the glove box

the moment you get back to
La La Land.

Shit.
That's a lot of money.

That's a lot of money.

Live in a van!

Uh, you gonna do
this with me?

Are you sure you're serious?

Some shit can go down.
What... What are you gonna do?

- You have a baby on the way.
- We can't think that way.

Okay? You're right.
You? You're right.

And thank you.
It's so much rent!

Okay?
We're in, we're in.

Heigh-ho, let's go.

Okay. If... If Milo's in,
then I'm in. I'm... Okay, fine.

Oh, great, it's Milo.

I'm making you breakfast,
my sweet so-and-so.

Thanks.

You're just getting in?

It was
a long and crazy night,

but I have $1,000 from it,
so I'm not complaining.

And how many people
did you have to have sex with

for all that dinero?

Oh, so many.

I bet.

Your skateboard is gone,
isn't it?

Did you sell it?

These are quick fixes.

Okay, we need to make
a financial layout.

You know,
long haul type of planning.

Sounds good to me.

I need your van
for the weekend.

I hope it's not an issue.

Another quick fix?

$10,000.

I'm getting worried about you.

I know
you're all right, I know.

I just...
These images in my head.

You know, sometimes
it's an image of you hurt

and in need of help
and there's no one else around.

I'll tell you what.

I will share my location
with you from my phone.

No, no, no, and that way, any
time you're thinking about me,

you can just rest assured,
there I am, and I'm all right.

You don't have to do that.

You don't...
I... I'm not crazy.

- I'm not a crazy girl...
- I know. I know, I know.

I want to, okay?

It's no problem.

Okay. Yeah,
I would like that a lot.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Look at you
with your printed-out

MapQuest directions.

Dude. You're old.

Should we knock, do you think?

In the movies,
the door usually just opens.

Try pulling up closer.

Hey, kid.
Look! You made it.

You're in the pictures.

Holy tomato!

Oh, actually!
I have to unlock it with a key.

Key's on the ring
over here.

Hold on, guys!

Uh... I need to unlock it
with a... a key.

Tell the boys
pickin' up it's a silver key

with a little bit
of green on it.

Used my girlfriend's
nail polish.

Yeah?

You seem like
one of those guys

that never
does anything wrong,

a little
goody-two-shoe type.

I'm driving
my girlfriend's van

across the desert with

God-only-knows-what
in the back of it.

That is heroic.

- Heroic?
- Yeah.

You're probably
breaking the law

for the first time
in your life.

What for? Money?

No, you are doing it because
you have a baby on the way

and you would do anything
for your family.

- How isn't that romantic?
- You said, "Heroic."

Heroic, romantic,
semantics.

Relationship
has always been my weak spot.

If I tell you how my current
boyfriend and I met...

...you would think
very low of me.

I'm sure that's not true.

Believe me, I put myself
in all the worst positions.

Sometimes
it's out of our control.

The situation at hand
seems to be held

in the left hand that thinks
it's right-handed.

Yeah.

- Human condition.
- Seriously.

We all have the same desires.

Yeah.

That's what really bones us.

You trying to kill us!

Don't forget about that shit
in the back!

Okay. Milo the sacredy cat
is here.

Oh, my God.
Look at that.

Look, look.
Look over there.

- You see that?
- I see... No. What?

Your face?

"Milo.

Meet me at the hotel bar
for a small night cap.

Make sure to sit at the bar.

I'll find you there."

- Howdy.
- Hey.

Your evening
going swell, is it?

- It's fine.
- Want to go somewhere?

I'd very much like
to try on your hat.

And what are you drinkin'?

Uh, whiskey.
Neat. Um...

You're so cute.

And I leave tomorrow
to go back home.

And I haven't even played with
any American boys yet.

Mm, listen.
You are a very attractive.

Sweet woman
with great taste.

Mm-hmm.

I'm married
and very much in love.

That's an ugly wedding ring.

Yeah, it is.

The love of my life
is pregnant with my child.

It's an unbreakable union
between humans.

You're sweet.

Sharks swim
all around these parts

looking for a sweet face
like yours to eat.

So I am...
I am impressed.

And then I just...
I'm a little bit stumped.

And now, I am impressed
because your...

Your turn-down tactics!

That was good, right?

What the hell is that?

That was genius.

Although,
you could have told her

that information right away.
Okay?

Ah, but you didn't.
Why?

Because you wanted
to get a little bit of

a rubbing and a coochie-coo.
Right?

And there's nothing wrong
with that.

And I... I get it 'cause
I've been there.

However, you have a girl.

You have...
You have your heart.

That's...
That's your livelihood.

You stick with that.
Come on.

- My love's name's Crystal...
- That's interesting.

I'll tell you why I'm stumped.

Because there is a... a strict
no-hat policy here

and you have got
a very large hat

sitting right
on top of your head.

- Oh, this is your place?
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Well, I mean, I own the... you
know, this. And I own... these.

And I own the, um...
God, that ceiling... I own that.

And the... And the vents
and the big-ass sign out front.

But I don't own its soul
anymore because I just...

You know, when you...

when you kind of buy
into this town, you know,

like I... I did, you... you sign
on some kind of dotted line.

I bet you got
an adventure laid out

like a trail of breadcrumbs
across your past, huh?

- If you...
- Oh, I, uh... I make lip balm.

Mama Earth.
Yeah, you... It's for you.

That's my company.
It's unopened.

You can have that stick,
you know.

You'd like it,
just look it up online

and find out
where you can get more.

You know what? I was just
joking about the hat.

I... I... I was just joking.
It looks really good.

And I think
it's not about hard work.

Not hard work,
it's just luck.

It... It has a high cost
sometimes 'cause, like,

um, I had a love once.
Her name was Karlily.

That's a pretty name.
You guys break it off?

Breakups are tough.
I've been there.

I lost her in a car crash...
about six months ago.

But I do not want to mess up
our nice vibe, our nice vibe.

I did not mean to do that,
and besides which,

I haven't even
introduced myself.

My name: Joaquin
Alvin Illingworth III.

- III?
- Yeah.

That's fancy.

It's not.
I'm just my father's son.

My name's Dante.

It's so awesome to make
a new friend.

You know...

You know, all right...

Oh, honey, honey, honey,
honey, please, sweetie,

can we please have some...
some more yummy drinks?

Same thing?

Look. See?

Uh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

- Oh, a ring.
- Yeah.

I don't know, man, this is

gonna tip me over the edge.

Let's jump together!

Let's just do it!
'Cause you know why?

'Cause you're a good boy.
You're a good kid.

Speaking of which,
what is the baby's name?

Right now we're between
Cedar and Sequoia.

Who fucking names
a kid Sequoia?!

To baby Dante II!

This is good. This is good.

Did you see the clown?

I did.

Joaquin Alvin Illingworth.

III.

- The what?
- His name,

it's Joaquin
Alvin Illingworth...

I thought it was a typo.

What a swell guy, huh?

You know he gave money to 20
different children's charities.

And I even read that

he started a homeless shelter
in his hometown.

Ah, what a swell guy.

Hey.
Got my little note?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I did. Went out last night,

met the owner.
Got free drinks all night.

You know, you really
messed up by not going out.

Was it just all about
the money for ya?

Money. Yes.

Ooh... Ooh, ooh.

Is that a gun in there?

I would've liked to know
there's a gun in the car

while I'm in it.

It's not mine.

Why would
they put a gun in here?

Looks like $20,000 to me.

Does it to you?

Yup.

Do you think
they put this in there

for us to protect
their money with?

I would have
liked some communication.

I've never even shot a gun
before.

I've never
even held one before.

I feel kind of cool, though.

Jesus, you're reverting
back to being a child.

I'm reverting back
to my inner thug.

How much money
do you think is in there?

I think we should head back
to L.A.

Can you imagine
what it must feel like

to hold that much money?

- Stop.
- What?

Look, I'm cool with my job

and what's in
the glove compartment.

But I think we should...
Let's mind our own business.

Okay, I would nev... I would
never actually take any.

I'm just...

Fucking...

You could have killed me.
Are you a fucking moron!

Get in the car.

Get in the fucking car
right now.

Get in the car!

I don't believe I like
the name Milo any longer.

From now on,
I want to be called, He...

He Who Gets Slapped.

All right, He.

Let's just keep on
getting on.

Dinner's ready.
And it's getting cold.

What the hell?

- Should I honk?
- Sure.

Let's bring more attention
to ourselves.

Someone's in there.

There's gotta be a doorbell or
something around here, I bet.

Just relax.
Let's just try to be calm.

Let's just chill.

♪ You are my sunshine ♪

♪ My only sunshine ♪

♪ You make me happy ♪

♪ When skies are gray ♪

♪ You are my sunshine ♪

♪ My only sunshine ♪

♪ Please don't
take my sunshine away ♪

♪ I'll always love you ♪

♪ And make you happy ♪

♪ If you
will only say the same ♪

Open the door!

They get the bag?

Is it over yet?

Dude,
no one's here, man.

- What do you mean?
- Well, it's obvious.

These people went home early
or we came too late.

Call Newt.

We're sorry.

You have reached a number

that has been disconnected

or is no longer in service.

His phone's been disconnected.

What the hell should we do?

I'm sure
his phone is dead.

I think
his phone's disconnected.

I... I don't think that message
pops up if your phone's

just... low on battery.

Veer to the right.

Wouldn't it go
to voicemail?

I'm sure everything is fine.

Don't sweat it.

Okay?

Pull over right there.

Are you leaving?

I can't think straight.

And you definitely cannot
think straight.

And that fucking idiot weirdo
is not answering his phone!

So, let's just
leave everything like it is

and deal with it tomorrow?
Hmm?

- This is my girlfriend's van.
- Cool...

She should be so proud to have
such a retro vehicle, you know?

- It's a cool van.
- I don't think you get it.

This is her van.
I've had it, like, three days.

She doesn't like to share.

Call me tomorrow.

This will all be over soon.
'Kay?

All right.
Talk to you tomorrow?

Okay, darling.

Goodnight.

Get some rest and be safe.

Bye, Dante...
I will miss you.

Psych!

No, I will. I will.

This is how much
I'm gonna miss you.

Uh-oh!

Baby... I love...
Come cuddle me.

I'll be right in,
my Harmony Rose.

You know,
I just joking about the hat.

I... I was just joking.
That looks really good.

And I think that
you are an honest person.

And you're probably the most
honest person in here.

Look at this, Dante!
Whoo!

You too, darling.

Adios. Bye!

Hi, Dante!

Milo.

Who... Who are you?

Ah!

- Hey!
- Hey.

You still have
your makeup on.

- Do I?
- You okay?

You fell asleep
sitting up last night.

I probably had
the ugliest look on my face.

No! Not at all...

Dante,
I have to go to the studio.

- I'm going to be late!
- Let me take you!

- Uh...
- I just got one more trip

to make. I'll pick you right
back up when you're off.

And then it's all yours.
Okay?

- I'm going to warm up the van!
- Okay.

You're telling me that, uh,

Joaquin was missing
his entire bottom half?

Well, guess
you couldn't fit him

into the case whole, huh?

Wha... Anyway, that makes sense.

A suitcase coming about, uh,

for clean clothes,
not for your dirty laundry.

You know, around here
they call me The Lucky One.

You know, see, sometimes
things seem to poof,

fall out of the sky
right into my lap.

And I'll give you
a for instance.

This landed on my desk
early this morning.

So, has anyone, uh, read
you your rights yet?

- No.
- Oh, they will,

they will, once
you get your rights back.

- Bye!
- Love you.

Love you too, bye.

We're sorry...

Fucking Newt!

All right, come on, come on,
Pele. Pick up, pick up.

- Pick up.
- We're sorry...

We're sorry,

you have reached a number
that has been disconnected

or is no longer in service.

If you feel you have reached

this recording in error,
please check the number

and try your call again.

We're sorry,

you have reached a number
that has been disconnected

or is
no longer in service.

If you feel you have reached...

Pardon me.
You must be Mike... Whoa!

Sorry for my appearance.

I'm a career birthday clown
named Milo.

About a week ago,
a family hired me

- to perform a party here.
- A week ago?

This property has been
on the market for sale

for the last 10 months.

Uh, this is
Em and P's house.

They have a little boy
named Stanley.

He's kind of an evil kid.

Are you okay?
Do you need some help, son?

You don't still see
a little kid there,

- do you?
- Okay. All right.

Just give me a moment.
Shit!

What? Wait.

So, no one's lived in
this house for 10 months?

No, actually
two and a half years.

This property has sat vacant.

It's a sad victim
of a bank foreclosure.

And what about those balloons?

- I don't want to hurt you!
- No, no, no...

I don't want to hurt you!

But this is private property
and you are not an appointment!

I'm a really good guy!

- I...
- I am calling the police!

- Sophia!
- Is everything all right?

You shouldn't
be going around like that.

- You're kinda scary-looking.
- Who gave you this flyer?

No one. Remember? I kept taking
it down from the pole

out front. Thank goodness
they stopped. Tacky-looking,

- I thought.
- Someone must have given it

- to you to give to me.
- Is everything all right?

You're
putting off creepy vibes.

Okay, listen.

I'm not gonna
be mad about anything.

Just tell me where
to find Pele.

Pele? I don't know him...

Don't play jokes with me!

Hey!
Why's he by my van?

What kind of drugs
are you on, son?

I'm a clown.

Yeah, you sure are a clown,

- a darn funny one at that.
- No. No, no, no.

Listen, listen. Let me leave.
I haven't done anything.

I just want to go home.

We got a body in here!

Get down on the ground!
Get down on the ground!

Do not resist!

Jesus, don't shoot!

Please, I have a baby.

Stop resisting.
Stop resisting!

I have a baby on the way.

Detective Welles.

Hey, Roadie. Huh.

We... Room one.

I'll be there in a jiffy.

Just gotta grab
my smokes.

Well, that is great news.
Thanks.

Roadie, thanks a lot.

I'll see you guys
a little later.

We'll celebrate, have a drink.

Well! It's in.

We got the murder weapon
bagged and tagged.

And just like you thought, your
prints are all over the piece.

I didn't say
anything like that.

Didn't ya?
Oh. Oh, it's what I thought.

Uh, new. Yeah, you're
some freaky killer clown boy.

Uh, you have any
more victims stashed around?

How about
we look at some pictures?

They made
such a handsome couple.

Wait, I met that girl.

She calls herself Pele.

The girl you met
at the birthday party?

- Yes.
- Oh.

The birthday party
that was what?

Two weeks ago? Actually
two weeks ago today, uh...

Take a closer look.

No, she's a clown.

She calls herself
Pele the Clown.

Her whole act
is Pele's Pity Party.

Karlily died in a fiery
smash-up about six months back.

So, excuse my skepticism
about your rouse.

Wait a second.
Are you on drugs, huh?

Hey, boys, did you check
this guy for drugs?

I'm not high.
I sure wish I was, though.

So, uh, tell me.

Did you set out
to do in Joaquin

or was someone else
pushing the buttons

and you were just
responsible for the levers?

This is the victim
with his brother.

Hmm?

- I met this guy.
- Him?

Yeah, yeah,
he called himself Newt.

He's the one that hired me and
Pele to drive stuff to Vegas.

Harold Illingworth,
not Newt.

You know you're facing
25 years to life, bub?

I'm a pacifist,
for goodness sake.

You see,
now, that's funny.

I like that. You...
You're a pacifist killer.

Or, um,
what would you say, a...

killer pacifist?
Uh, which?

Which you like better:
killer pacifist, paci...

Lemme ask the guys.

Hey, fellas!

Fellas.
Which sounds better?

Killer pacifist
or pacifist killer?

I mean, just can't you
see the movie poster?

Get up, pussies!

scared, I'm not
scared of no fucking taser!

Hey, hey!
Sit back down.

That little bitch
just kicked me in the shin!

Come on, get up!

No, no, no, no, no, no.

]

- Get off the desk!
- No!

Get off it!

Get off the fucking desk!

You ain't even done nothing

and they're trying
to take you out, huh?

Damn.
It's a cruel world.

Gotta always hold on
to the positives in life.

Okay?
Don't ever lose hope.

Come on, boy.

I'm gonna get
you out of here.

Dante made it!
Someone owes me some money.

Get the hell in here.

You didn't pick me up!
Did you forget about me?

I'm sorry. I ran off
and did something dumb.

I rescued you an old dog.
His name's Gilbert.

- A dog?
- Yeah.

Yes, my Rose.
You said you wanted one.

- Gilbert?
- Yeah.

Hey, do you know how much
for each other?

We live both of our lives
through love, not fear.

Breathe.
Breathe.

I realize there's only
a few truths

in my life I live for.

Your tiny
little hand on my chest.

And the sunshine in your eyes.

Your kiss.

We have a baby coming.
Yeah. A family.

Something you and I both
do together.

Okay, breathe. You got this.
You got this.

You can do this.
You can do this.

- You can do this.
- No, I can't.

Love you, too.

Just keep breathing, good.

You've got it, Crystal.

Looking great.
Keep breathing.

- Something's wrong!
- Nice, slow. Okay.

- Something's not right.
- Turn her on over.

Squeeze my hand.
There it is.

Good job. You're doing okay.

- The baby's coming. Beautiful.
- You're almost there.

Beautiful, baby.
You've got this.

Three more deep breaths.

Give me two more,
just like that.

Two more.

Okay. There you go.

Nice and slow.

- Just one more deep breath.
- Come on, one more.

You got this.
He's almost out.

He's halfway out.
Come on, come on.

Come on.

Here you go, Crystal.

Your beautiful baby boy.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Mama's little baby. Okay...

- Oh!
- Whoo!

Uncle Jim
wants you to call him.

Please do.

Jesus, man.
Fuckin' disturbed my slumber.

I left something
here the other night.

I know exactly what it is.

What is it?

Blue sweatshirt.

Oh, that shit's gone.

No. My mother gave me that

sweatshirt before she died.

Well, get your foot out
of my door, man.

Yo, I'm Milo the Clown.
Do you remember me?

I... I was with...
I was with Pele.

Jesus Christ.

Damn, motherfucker!

I didn't do shit to you!

Dude, people have been killed
for taking my phone,

man,
give it back.

What're you looking
through my phone for?

Oh, wow. No password.

See, I wasn't expecting
that from you, Tic.

Now tell me where
I can find Newt or Pele

or whatever
the hell his name is!

I... I don't know those people,
man. Okay?

I... I don't know
who you think I am.

You know who I am?

Yeah.
A scared little bitch

who doesn't know
how deep he is, man.

Wh... What exactly do you mean,
"How deep he is," huh?

I didn't say shit,
man, okay?

Just get the fuck out of
here before I get my gat, man!

That's it, I'm done!

Ah! I gotta settle this now,
no matter what.

Now tell me
where I can find Newt!

Do you know who he is, man?
Okay?

You know where he's from?
What he does?

You... You've got to be crazy,
you think I'm gonna sell

that Frankenstein
motherfucker out.

He's batshit. Okay?

Yo, dude, what happened

to your legs, man, huh?

Man, were you born this way?

Nothing wrong
with 'em, man.

It's fashion! Okay?

Huh?
Well, your arms are fine.

You still got function
in them!

I still got function
in my legs, man.

I'm not a cripple.

Oh, dude, who said anything

about you being a cripple?

At least not yet.

Ah!

- Don't touch her.
- The hell, you trying

- to kill me?
- Don't touch my honey, man.

I'm sorry, I...
I really wasn't thinking.

- I... Can I please leave now?
- No! Got her hear now!

Okay!
I'll fucking telling you, man!

- I'll tell you where he is.
- Ah!

You're driving! Your car.

Fuck.

Don't scratch my car, man.

Oh! Shit.

My pride and joy!

Hey, uh, this is Dante.

I'm not here right now.

Oh, my.

Garrett, sweetie.

Beautiful baby.
Looks just like his mama.

My God, I'm a mess.

No, we've all been there,
honey.

Has his royal majesty
come back yet?

Yeah.

He sure can be a royal
pain in the ass, huh? Ooh.

Probably shouldn't
be cussing around

my little guy
anymore, huh?

You know what?

Let's make you
a little drinky-poo.

You popped that boy out,
let's celebrate.

Aw. Oh, my goodness.

But I actually grew up
singing in the church.

Oh. I know.

Sounded like that kind of,
at first.

Oh...

Oh.

Oh, my goodness.

I thought you were picked up
for murdering my husband.

I thought you died in
a car crash six months ago.

Karlily.

Don't have a Pity Party.

I'm Detective Welles.
This here is Roadie.

You must be the muse.
Crystal.

Life happened to us all.

You don't know the situation
that I was in with Joaquin.

It was either him or me.

Every one of us would
have went the same path.

...from Dante, uh,

or should I say, Milo,
the Murdering Clown?

What's happened now?

Well, besides escaped custody,
murder.

Murder? My Dante?

Escaped custody?

Do you mind if
we search the bungalow?

- Sure.
- And you know what?

- The entire house as well.
- Yeah, sure.

It's the animal in us.

We adapt to our environment.

And it dominates us.

Or we dominate it.

I'm not a murderer.

Not many places to hide,
not many at all.

So, uh,
when is the last time

that either of you, uh,
got a little look at him?

Few days ago.

Missed his baby's birth,
right, Garrett?

- Yeah, he did.
- Ah, that's all right.

Well, we'll find him
soon enough.

Here's a number you can call
to get your van back.

- Back?
- Yeah.

Oh, Dante
got his van impounded.

You didn't know that?

I'm not a murderer.

Where were you
the night that it happened?

Hmm?
With the deceased?

It doesn't look
good for you, Dante...

Get him, Newt!
Get him!

Ooh, there's quite a bit
you don't know.

Quite a bit.

Call me if you wise up.

My number's on the front
and, uh,

the impound lot's
on the back.

Roadie.

You, uh, folks,

you have yourselves a nice,
warm evening.

Lots of crickets out tonight.

Yeah, they're chirping away
at the moon.

Warm nights feels like
death in the sand dunes.

- I lied.
- You... You lied?

I did.

- The police just now?
- Yeah.

That's not good, Crystal.
We don't know what he did.

Look, I know that
he didn't do

whatever they have
him down for.

Please,
you have to help me.

You know I will.

Kill him, Newt!

About time. About time
we got rid of this fool.

Huh?
Mr. He Who Gets Slapped.

Ha!

All right,
let's go move the body.

I have to find him.

Be careful.

Ah!

Why the hell are
you bringing her in here?

Well, because she saw the body.

What did you do to him?

- Who is... Who is she?
- Are you some kind of strange,

really intense
neighborhood watch?

Is that what
she's doing around here?

Are you Crystal?

My little boy.
We just had a baby.

We're way past crying.

What are you doing,
wandering around,

staring
in other people's houses

like some creepy creepster?

Are you a creepy creepster,
little girl?

- Dante. Dante!
- What are we gonna do?

Shit!
What are we going to do?

Shit! Shit!
What are we gonna do?

This is not the time
to get me turned on.

Just give me a second.
I have a plan.

You know, if this was the
caveman days, what we would do?

We would just... We would just
cook ya and we'd eat ya.

And you know who you'd
grunt about it? Nobody!

Because that's how it works
in the animal kingdom.

The strong destroy the weak.

That's the ecosystem!

Are you here by yourself?

Or are there other little
crickets hip-hopping around?

You didn't call the police,
did ya, little cricket?

My baby boy and my friend,
they're out in the car.

Please, please, please...

Her baby's in the car.

Harold...

- Baby.
- Harold.

Now's not the time for
a teachable moment but, uh,

I think you know
my name is Newt.

So, why don't
you just call me Newt, okay?

Jesus Christ, why aren't
you taking this serious?

- Why the fuck is she here?
- I don't know why she's here.

But here's the question
that you need to be asking.

How long is it gonna take
to dump the bodies

of these stupid
and weak little animals?

No!

I'm so happy you're here!

He kidnapped me

and... and he forced me to do
all these horrible things.

I'm so happy you came,
Crystal.

Thank you for coming
to save my life.

You're the best.

Thank you.

Thank you for coming.

Thank you, Crystal.

Do you believe me?
Do you believe me?

Thank you, Crystal.
Thank you.

Oh, hold...
hold a second, fellas.

Do me a favour.

It's really sad because
they were both my friends.

I was really
good friends with them.

So, that's all.

That's all that happened.

All right.

Huh.

I thought
you were picked up

for murdering my husband.

I thought you died in
a car crash six months ago...

- Son of a bitch.
- Karlily.

Don't have a Pity Party.
Life happened to us all.

You don't know the situation
that I was in with Joaquin.

It was either him or me.

You just said
you didn't have contact

with Dante,
that his fall woke you.

Now, what exactly transpired...

- It's the animal in us.
- between the three of you?

We adapt to our environment.

Get him, Newt.
Get him!

Ah!

Kill him, Newt.

Come on now, stand up.
Don't make this tough on me.

About time.

About time
we got rid of this fool.

Ha!

Settle down.
Settle down.

Whoa, tough guy.
Tough guy, huh?

Come on, let's go.

I should've figured something
like this could happen, huh?

These things,
they tend to have

their secret trails
and hidden passages.

Excuse me, uh, do you have
a name for the boy?

Patrick.

After Dante's grandfather.

He wrote children's books.

Nice. That's a strong
Irish name.

God bless.

Mm, I love it.
My little Patty Patch.

And, uh, what's your role
in all this?

Oh, I'm...

He's...
He's Patrick's uncle.

You know, Roadie.

There's three kinds
of people on this planet.

Those who make it,
those who don't

and those who get pulled
into these things

by those who are destined
to lose.

Now, hey, uh, I'm not saying
Dante was a loser,

he just got pulled
in by the losers.

You know, those of us
in this world

who want to swing
on a different vine,

we gotta be okay with it

if that vine
snaps once in a while.

'Cause this place we live,
it's got rules and regulations.

And...

Think money
is always the answer,

but there's no free money
in this world.

Everything has its price.

I'm not saying I want
all you people out there

to stop burning
the candles at both ends,

'cause that
would change my life.

And I don't want that.

Just like the undertaker

never gets short of, uh, work,

people never get tired
of being in places

where they shouldn't be.

That's where I'll be.

I'll be separating
the angels from the demons.