Cleopatra Jones (1973) - full transcript

CLEOPATRA JONES

Baby, you walk right

your love
turn darkness to light

Woman, your love
is warm and strong

I'm gonna love you

From now on

You move like
the desert wind

make me wanna love you

Everywhere I go
I see your face

A reflection in my mind

"Comment ?a va, Marcel"?



Got me doin' things
I don't wanna do

I don't mind

I'm so in love with you

Well, it's all
happening, isn't it?

I've found a marvellous point
of observation for you.

I hope it meets with your approval,
Miss Jones.

Must be the largest poppy field
I've ever seen.

What do you think its value is?

Thirty million dollars on the street.

Thirty million dollars!

- Incredible.
- That's right, baby.

Thirty million dollars worth of shit
that ain't going in some kid's veins.

Burn it.

- Ahsham?
- Yes, general,



- Are you ready?
- Everything is readiness,

Get on with it.

What?! That bitch!

That goddamn black bitch!

How dare she mess around
with my poppies!

My God, everybody in Turkey
must be flying. I'll kill her.

I will kill her.

Thirty million dollars up in smoke!

Goddamn her,
that troublemaking coon!

Have some brandy.
It will calm your nerves.

Thank you, Eva, darling.

You're the only one around here
gives a shit about Mommy.

Well, now...

...as long as she's over there,
nothing's gonna get through.

I want her black ass back here.

Mother, darling,
nobody can make her do anything.

Yeah, my little sweet son, Brucey?

You ever heard of the B&S House?

- Her own little private Synanon?
- Yes, Mother.

Well, if something were to happen
to her own little pet charity...

...she'd be on the next plane
back here.

Hey, that's it.

That is it!

Hello.

Hello, this is your
Mommy speaking.

Last year, two 10 year old kids
OD'd on Western.

That's really a heavy thing.

We got these kids together,
30 or 40 of them.

We' re gonna give them to you,
you go out and rap to these people.

I don't like this.
Why don't we wait for Crawford?

Look, you tried to find him.
He's not around.

Just let me run
my own department, okay?

Okay.

Purdy, let's do it.

Move it!

They give you any
trouble, bust heads.

- All right, everybody freeze.
- Come on, lady, move!

Are you Reuben Masters?

Who wants to know?

I'm Lieutenant Randall. I have a signed
warrant to search this place.

What about those doors? You got
a signed warrant to kick those in?

You'd like us to stand outside like Boy
Scouts so you can blow our heads off.

- You got something to say to me?
- Don't crowd me, boy.

Put that down before
I make you eat it.

Come on, Purdy.

Put it down.

We don't have to explain nothing.

- Let's search.
- Do you care to search me personally?

- You want some of this?
- Let's do it.

Hey, man, what's wrong with you?

Will you take it easy, man?
You' re hurting me.

Hey, take it easy.
What's wrong with...?

Hey, Reuben,
what's going on here?

What is this shit?

Hey, take it easy on him.

Certainly.

Candy, man?

Honest to God, Reuben,
it ain't mine.

I've never seen it before.
It ain't mine, man.

You've got to believe me.
I'm clean.

Look.

I'm clean.

Somebody put that on me.

Reuben...

Honest to God,
it ain't mine, man.

Yeah, sure.

- Take him in.
- Jimmy!

Hey, what are you doing?
You idiot.

Reuben!

All right, boy.

I want to give you your rights.

"You have the right
to remain silent."

If you give up this right,
anything you say...

...can be used against you
in a court of law.

You have the right
to speak to an attorney.

You have the right to an attorney
during questioning.

If you so desire
and cannot afford one...

...an attorney will be appointed to you
without charge before questioning.

Do you understand each of these rights
I have explained to you?

Do you wish to give up the right
to remain silent?

Hey, look, dig it.
I...

What's the matter, cat got your tongue?

Here. Run your own department.

Shut up.

If this town blows up, I'm gonna
make cabdrivers out of all of you.

I don't remember any of you
being promoted to a captaincy.

This is my department.

Now, who the hell
authorized this bust?

I told you, Lou.
It came from downtown.

They got a new thing now.
It's called a telephone.

"Hey, captain, we screwed up."

- Why wasn't I notified?
- I tried. You were on a code five.

I did the next best thing.
I went along to keep things cool.

Well, you sure kept things cool.

Furniture wrecked, doors smashed,
15 frigging windows broken.

Jesus H. Christ! It was only a little
wooden house, not the Bismarck.

Captain, we did find the bag of horse
on the Beeker's kid.

So we disturbed a few niggers.

- Big deal.
- One more word, Purdy...

...and I'll punch your stupid face out.

- Take it easy, Lou.
- Get the hell out of here, all of you.

TWA flight 405 from Istanbul
has arrived at Gate 12,

Attention, TWA flight 405 from Istanbul
has arrived at Gate 12,

Has she come through
the gate yet, mate?

I lost her in the crowd.
Somehow she disappeared.

She's what?

- Watch your big feet.
- Sorry.

Okay, lady, hold it right there.

- Here's the file on those two guys.
- What guys?

The two goons at the airport
that tried to hit Cleo.

Assault and battery.
Dismissed.

Extortion, two counts.
Dismissed.

Assault with a deadly weapon,
armed robbery, attempted rape.

Oh, what the hell, nobody's perfect.

Lou said to give this
to the genius in here.

- Here you are, Frank.
- Yeah, thanks.

Is he still bugged?

You should have listened to me
that night.

I'll get that.

This is Cleopatra Jones.
Let me speak to Crawford.

Hi, Cleopatra,
We heard you were back,

Listen, about the B&S House...

- Later, Kert.
- Yeah.

Okay.

- That's Cleopatra Jones.
- Terrific.

Lou?

Line four. It's Cleo. She's hot.

She know I'm here?

Hello, Cleo. Welcome back.

Don't give me that "welcome" jive.
What's going on, Lou?

- I thought I had a friend down there.
- I don't know what happened.

Whoever planned it
knew when I couldn't be reached.

- Who ordered the bust?
- I don't have any answers.

All I know is,
it came from pretty high up.

That figures,

I heard about the rumble at the airport.

We got a positive ID
on the corpse...

...and a couple of maybes
on the other two.

- You okay?
- My body is okay.

It's magnificent.

- About the airport...
- Forget about the airport.

- We've got things to talk about.
- Shoot.

Not on the phone, baby.
Art's Place in an hour.

Okay. Oh, and, Cleo...

...if I'd been here, they wouldn't
have gone near that house.

Okay.

We' re at Art's Place in an hour,
don't say a word. Let me handle it.

- But I was at the B&S House. I...
- Not a word.

I told you where
and I told you when...

...and I told you how to get that bitch,
and you still blew it!

How did I know she was going
to come through the baggage chute?

- How did you know she wouldn't?
- Mother!

I' m tired of being a pussycat.

Pick it up, you damn idiot.

The revenues in the ninth district
are embarrassing.

And you know why?

Because there's no respect.
There is no fear!

Thank you, Gerta darling.

Oh, Gerta...

...you' re the only one around here
who understands Mommy.

Yes, Mommy.

Well...

...Doodlebug hasn't paid us a nickel
in a week. And you know why?

Because he does not fear us.

Do-gooders are running all over
the district. And you know why?

Because they do not fear us.

Cleopatra Jones, she is sticking
her nose in my business, Zap.

In my business!

Well...

...the honeymoon is over.

Mother! Please. You'll break him.

Morning, Miss Jones.
Long time, no see.

- Hi, Henry. What's happening?
- Everything is fine, Miss Jones.

Nice place to be, Henry.
Hold on to it.

Boy, I sure would like to get me
some of that.

Last cat who tried
got five knots in his nose.

Look. That's some heavy stuff
she laid on you, man.

She drifts in with a body
that looks like nothing but bed.

I mean, actually causing internal pain.

The minute she sees your tongue shaking,
she pulls her packages together...

...walks on away and says,
"Hold on to it."

Boy, that's what I call some extra-heavy,
double-duty stuff.

I' m gonna find me a ham
this morning.

- What's that?
- A job.

- Watch out, man!
- We're coming through!

That cat almost fell.

Hey, man, get out of the way.
What's wrong with y'all?

Man, that's what I call bad.

The word "bad" ain't got nothing
to do with that.

Right on, sweet sister!

- Hello, beautiful.
- Hello, Lou. Kert.

Recognize them?

That's the cat at the airport.

That one too.

Baby Tony and a creep named Zap.
We'll take care of them.

Like you took care of the house?

Cleo, even Eichmann got a trial.
I told you how it was.

I heard you were in
on the fun and games.

And a damn good thing too.

He saved Jimmy Beekers' life.

- Who's Purdy?
- He's a new man. You haven't met him.

No, but I have a feeling
I' m going to soon.

Now, Cleo, don't make anything worse.
This isn't exactly your jurisdiction.

My jurisdiction extends from
Ankara, Turkey to Watts Tower, baby.

What will happen
with the B&S House?

The DA is putting padlocks
on the works.

On the house, the store
and the other small businesses.

He's giving them 72 hours
to close up.

Tell the DA to back off.

He did find that stuff
on Jimmy Beekers.

I say they planted it.

Lou, if they close up the B&S House...

...that will hurt a lot of young people
who have no other place to go.

All right.

I'll take care of the house.
And please, you talk to Reuben.

- I don't want this town to blow up.
- What's Reuben saying?

He says we'll need tanks and infantry
to close up that house.

I'll keep in touch.

Oh, man, them pigs busted in here
and tore the place up.

No, no, they planted that dope
on Jimmy and took him to jail.

Let me call you back, okay?
Yeah, yeah, later.

- Cleopatra Jones.
- That's right.

Somebody said you used to
live around the corner.

I did.

You a little late for the party,
ain't you?

How come you ain't here
with the rest of us?

Or don't you know what's going on
out in the streets?

You better dig on who your friends are
before you run your mouth.

Shit.

Hello, baby.

I'm always so glad when you' re back.

Not the same when you' re away.

- It's been real heavy around here.
- Reuben?

He needs you.

Reuben?

I can't take it, Reuben.

I can't take it.

I'm here. I'm here.

I can't make it.

It hurts, Reuben.

Come on and kill me or something!
You know that it hurts!

You're gonna make it, you hear me?
You're gonna make it.

Okay.

Terry, you stay with him.

Damn.

No matter how often
I see a cat in withdrawal...

...it's always a heavy trip.

That cat's 15 years old, Cleo.

We put this house together,
and it's got to survive.

They know we' re clean...

...and they still run
a bullshit game on us.

We don't do no dope in this house!

If they close us down,
who's gonna be here...

...when some cat is trying to deal
with his Jones?

Those guns won't be
much help to him.

I tell you one thing, mama.

If they want this house, they've got
to bring something to get something.

Reuben, give me 72 hours.

- What is that gonna do, Cleo?
- No fireworks for 72 hours.

- What about them?
- I'll see they don't come near here.

Yeah. I hear you.

Hey, Cleo.
It's good to have you back.

- You take care of yourself, you hear?
- Right on, Cleo.

Yeah, Cleo. How are you
gonna buy three days?

I've already talked to Crawford.
He owes me.

Yeah, sure.

Look, baby, it's okay. It's cool.

I'll see you soon.

Soon.

Get down!

Now!

Damn!

Hey, Doodlebug,
your hair looks good, man.

My hair don't look good.
It looks beautiful.

That's right.

It ain't my hair that's bothering me.
It's Mommy.

Why she gotta go bring Cleopatra
back to town for?

- Man, that broad is 10 miles of bad road.
- That's right.

Then Mommy busts the B&S House,
cause all that mess at the airport.

Make me nervous,
make The Man nervous...

...make this town hotter
than a firecracker.

If she can't run her business
better than that...

...I' m gonna run my own business.

- You don't plan to quit Mommy, do you?
- Ain't nothing wrong with your ears.

- But Mommy ain't gonna like that.
- That's right.

When Mommy doesn't like something,
Mommy can be very bad.

- That's right.
- Plug...

...how's it gonna look on my death
- "Died of that's-right-o-cide"?

One more "That's right,"
I'm about a half a second off your ass.

If Mommy wants trouble...

...I'm not exactly known as
Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farms.

Hey, Mattingly!

You rang, squire?

- Ain't he bad?
- Thank you, sir.

I need a drink, Mattingly. The usual.

Certainly. I shan't be a jiffy.
I'll just fetch some ice cubes.

- "Some ice cubes."
- I'll get it, boss.

Well, if it ain't the lady herself.

You better check her out, Plug.

Okay, baby...

- I'm gonna cut you!
- Easy, Plug.

Look. There ain't no need for everybody
to get riled up. Let's all cool down.

Next time you pull a razor on me,
you better shave.

- Shave?
- That's right.

What's on your mind, girl?

I got a message for Mommy.

You tell her...

...that her two senior citizens...

...went to that big rest home
in the sky.

And what am I supposed to know
about deeds?

As much as you know about
the busting of the B&S House.

Look, you've got me all wrong, girl.

I think what you' re doing at the House
is in the finest of American traditions.

It's just a shame that one of them
still happens to be a dope fiend.

Are you talking about Jimmy Beekers?

If that's the name of the boy
they caught with that...

What do you call it?

Heroin.

But not that I have anything to do
with people of that ilk.

But I heard that he was seen
making a purchase...

...from a pusher renowned
for his snakeskin clothing.

You' re lying.

Doodlebug, honey...

Am I interrupting something?

Oh, no, baby, we were just finishing.

Well, I'm ready to go shopping.

Hey, Mattingly!

Take Miss Tiffany in the car
and keep a close eye on her.

I wouldn't want anything
to happen to you, baby.

Here, and have yourself a good time.

Thank you.

It's a nice touch.

A white chauffeur, all this.

What's next, Doodlebug?

Two white iron jockeys
on the lawn?

Look, you starting to bug me.

Not half as much
as I'm going to, mister.

The minute I prove it was you and
Mommy that busted the B&S House...

...I'm coming back.

And your head and your body
is gonna need separate maintenance.

That ain't bad.

What ain't bad?

Them two white iron jockeys
on the lawn.

- That's right.
- Shit!

I'm coming,
I'm coming.

I've only got two hands,
for God's sakes.

Cleopatra!

My God, I don't believe it.

Come here.

Damn, you sure is a sight
for sore eyes.

How's the game going?

Game?

You know this is
a respectable restaurant.

Ain't no game going on back here.

Come on down.

That's the chef.
He's just on a little coffee break.

It's cool, Mrs. Johnson.

Where did you get those bad boots?

Play your cards right,
I'll get you a pair.

For some young stud
to start wanting something?

They ain't all bad.

At my age, I forgot what they want.

Can I do anything for you, Cleo?

What have you heard
about the raid on the B&S?

Well, as far as I know,
there's been some bad going-ons here.

And Jimmy Beekers got himself arrested.

You think Doodlebug is tied into this?

I don't know,
but it is in his territory.

He's got his own territory now, huh?

Yeah, he's really getting himself
up in this world.

And if you' re planning on
tangling with him...

...be careful, you hear?

Doodlebug's been doing
some bad things...

...since he started wearing
them silk neckties.

You hush up back there!
You want me to get arrested?

Mrs. Johnson,
I'm going to need your boys.

My babies?

Damn, Melvin!

You Watusi punk,
you know that kick ain't...

- Long time, Cleo.
- We heard you was back in town.

- Where you been?
- Been moving.

- So we hear.
- I need your help again.

- Where and when?
- Not to mention "who?"

Ever heard of a cop named Purdy?

Not that I know of.
What about you?

Can't say I have.

He's working out of Crawford's division.
Find out all you can about him.

Stay in touch with your mama.

- I'll get back to you in a couple of hours.
- It's done.

Right on, mama.

God bless you, child, for the beautiful
work you've been doing for our people.

Now, come on. I told you that
instructor's medal and badge...

...didn't mean nothing to me.

- Come on, get your...
- Come on, now!

Go!

Off the line now, ladies and gentlemen,
Bud McAveeny Jr.

Okay, let's get a time now
for Bud McAveeny. It's 22, 5.

Excuse me. I'm looking
for Miller Anderson.

You' re looking at him, baby.

But my friends call me Andy.

Don't know why my mama
called me Miller.

I need to know some things
about your sister.

Miller Anderson,
report to the starting line, please,

I ain't seen Tiffany in a long time.

Besides, there's nothing I can tell you
that you need to know.

Will Billy Joe Ferguson stand by
at the starting line, please?

Are you ready?

Go!

Looking good, He looks terrific,

There it is, folks,

Nineteen flat.

Junior, come on with that beer, will you?
I'm dying out here!

Can I borrow your bike for a minute?

Baby, no way. Are you kidding?
This machine is worth a lot of bread.

Besides, you'd probably
break your neck.

These are the keys to my Corvette.

If I hurt your bike...

...you can have the car.

The neck's my worry.

Lady, you've got yourself a deal.

Want me to hold your coat?

- Thank you.
- My pleasure.

Now, is that one down to four up?

Right on, baby.

All right, baby. You' re something else.
Get it on, baby.

- I'll see you later.
- I surely hope so.

What mammy-jammer was that?

Sixteen flat! Read for that?

Out of sight, sister.
If I hadn't dug it, I wouldn't believe it.

Now, like I was saying,
I have some questions.

Yeah.

It's my fairy godmother.

- How you doing, baby?
- You come to cast your spell?

- I brought you a cookie.
- Bring it over here.

Why, Doodlebug, you know I've always
considered you one of my best soldiers.

Well, this soldier is taking
an honourable discharge.

I'm opening up my own army.

Why, baby, you know
I can't let you do that.

Why, Ursula, you're the only one around
here who knows what Mommy wants.

Thank you, Mommy.

Give our guests some wine.

No, thank you.

What good would I be to my troops...

...if I didn't provide them
with leadership, brother?

Leadership, sister?

Here's some of your leadership. Pickle.

You' re gonna lead us
right into the toilet.

Now, Doodlebug,
you and I are reasonable people.

Can't we settle this between us?

Brucey, how we been splitting
with Doodlebug?

Eighty-five, 15.

Expenses out of 15.

Well, then now.

Wouldn't it be better to be
a general in my army...

...and settle for, let's say,
25 percent?

Twenty-five percent of what?

When Cleopatra gets through with you,
you' re gonna wind up with nothing.

- I'll take care of Cleopatra Jones.
- Well, let me tell you something.

You are no match for that black lady.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I quit.

That's right. Finished.

Through.

Arrivederci, Mama.

Pickle, Plug, let's split.

By the way...

...if any of your army
tries to mess with any of my army...

...you' re gonna wind up with a
whole lot of army surplus on your hands.

See you around, superhonky.

Watch out!

Get out of the way, idiot!

Oh, shit!

That crazy broad!

My eyes!

Hold on!

Terrific.

Pickle.

- You got a minute?
- Yeah, yeah.

Dig. Did you see the name on
the sign outside the door?

- Yeah, it said...
- Yeah. You dig.

Now, let me ask you a question.
Did you see the name on that sign?

Yeah. It says - it says:

"Now appearing, Miss Tiffany Payne."

- Out of sight.
- That's right.

Did you see any other name?

No, man, she appearing alone.

Then how come
she working with you?

Baby, that was so beautiful.

Hey, is Tiffany beautiful?
Is she beautiful?

This is just a token of our appreciation,
compliments of the boss...

...the man who pays all the bills,
your man, my man, everybody's man...

...Mr. Doodlebug Simpkins!

That's right.

One more time. One more time,
ladies and gentlemen, for Miss Tiffany.

Once again, opening next week,
the Frankie Crocker All Girl Revue.

Once again, for your dancing pleasure,
we present Kendricks and Company.

Hey, hold it, hold it.

I want you to be here next week.
I got a show...

...that'll put dips in your hips,
cut in your strut, glide in your stride.

If you don't dig it,
you know you got a hole in your soul.

Look like brother Purdy's gonna
miss his revival meeting tonight.

Deep Throat plus
Doctor and His Women.

Just what I wanted to see.
Something I could take the family to.

Yeah...

...give me two Baby Ruths
and a box of Goobers.

We're gonna be here all night,
we might as well get food. I'm hungry.

There's a restaurant right over there.

Brother, I'm financially embarrassed
and I got a case of the shorts.

You also have
my deepest sympathies too.

Man, you can loan me $5.
I'd give it back to you.

Five bucks?

If I had 5 bucks, I'd be sitting
there in that dirty old movie...

...watching them dirty old naked women
run across that dirty old screen.

That's why Mama don't like you.
Because when it's time...

...for you to give up your money,
you get stingy.

You have a way with words
when it comes to money.

Well, that comes from years
of practice and self-denial.

- We heard it.
- Here's two quarters.

Why don't you get us coffee?

Come on, give me 15 cents
for a doughnut.

Anything to stop your nagging.

Oh, you jive cheating nigga.

Mattingly?

- Hey, Mattingly, you want to hold this?
- You' re out of sight, Mr. Pickles.

"Mr. Pickles, you are out of sight."

I think you two gentlemen
are having me on.

Calm yourself, Mattingly.

Like the man on the TV say,
"You in good hands with the Bug."

Mr. Simpkins, the agency didn't tell me
this sort of thing would be happening.

It's getting the best of my nerves.
I mean, guns and things.

It really is a bit much.
I mean, it's worse than the RAF.

- Right on.
- That's right.

Mattingly, let's go
to the Virginia Barbecue.

- I feel like some ribs and some fries.
- Okay, boss.

Hey, Plug...

...you better remind me
to give Nathan a 50.

Little grease will keep his balls
in my pocket.

Okay, boss.

Hey, how do I look?

You look good, Doodlebug.

Shit. I don't look good.
I look marvellous.

It's because I take care of my hair.

My hair is like a woman.
Treat it good and it treats you good.

Ain't that right, honey?

You hear what I'm saying?

Yeah, you've got to hold it,
caress it and love it.

And it will love you right back.

And if your hair gets out of line,
you take a scissor and say:

"Hair, I'm gonna cut you."

That's right.

- Plug...
- Hey, watch out, Mattingly!

It's gonna hit us!

Come on!

Where are you?
You dirty...

Check it.

Where's the bird?

- What bird?
- The chick! The bloody chick!

Let's get out of here.

Shit.

Come on, you idiot, move it.
Let's go. Move it out.

Play basketball. Come on.

Hey, man, you better quit
bugging on people's ball.

Hey, man. Hey, man.
Come on over here, man.

Man, them sure is some beautiful
magnesium wheels, ain't they?

Yeah.

I'll bet you those wheels
would buy a lot of wine...

...for the good citizens
in this neighbourhood.

Little brother, I sure am fond
of those mag wheels...

...and it'd break my heart
if anything happened to them.

Now, what do you suggest
I do about that?

Well, in my considered opinion,
it might be wise to find somebody...

...to guard them for you.

And where could I find someone
for such a dangerous job?

Strange we should happen along.

Maxwell Woodman is my name.

And what do you think
such a job is worth?

- How much you think it's worth?
- A dollar?

For a dollar, you get absolute protection
and we'll wipe your windshield too.

Well, that sounds like
the best deal in town.

Come on, man.
Get over there.

Over there behind the fender.

And you, Michael, get on the back.

Y'all been out there,
laying up with that bitch.

- I know about it!
- Get out of my face, or I'll slap you!

You better not hit me.

You hit me again,
it'll be the last time!

I'm tired of that shit! I'm leaving!
I don't wanna hear it!

Get your ass on out of here, then.
Get on out of here. Don't come back!

Hey, wait a minute.

Shit! What's wrong with you, woman?

Why can't you just open the door
like a normal person?

Shit!
What you coming down on me for?

I'm just trying to protect my home.

What you doing
sneaking around my door?

I want to ask you about your business,
pusher man.

Business? Shit, I ain't in no business.

Well, look. Would I be living
in this shithole if I was in business?

Okay, look, I used to be in business,
but I ain't no more.

You can ask anybody. I swear.
You can ask anybody.

They tell you, "Snake ain't in no business.
Snake ain't in no business."

Okay, okay. Okay.

All right, I'm in business, but,
you know, it's nothing heavy.

It's just some light shit.

There is no light shit, brother Snake.

Sure there is. You know, there's grass
and pills and uppers. You know.

All right, where's your stash?

I'm dry. I ain't got nothing.

Okay, if that's the way
you want to play.

I'm dry.

Shit, what's wrong with you, woman?

Look, you' re gonna piss me off,
you jive jungle freak!

That's right, there ain't nothing.
There's nothing! I'm dry!

You people are doing a great job.
Ain't nothing on the streets.

Hey, wait a minute now.
Don't rip up my double knits.

Hey, no. Don't cut them up.
Just look at them, stupid.

Don't rip up my bag.

Oh, shit. Hey, look,
you' re gonna piss me off now!

Hey, no, not my high heels!

Not my high... Oh, shit.
Look, ain't nothing in them.

Why don't you just look at them instead
of ripping everything up? Come on.

Oh, shit. How would you like it
if I kicked your ass?

Wait a minute.
Where did that come from?

Now, you planted that.

You planted that. The last time I looked
in that box there was Shinola in it.

That's the trouble with you, Snake.
You don't know shit...

...from Shinola.

Look, you ain't gonna pin this on me!
You ain't gonna pin this...

You come here, pushing people around.
This is an illegal search and seizure.

This violates the First Amendment,
habeas corpus and nolo contendere,

I'll go to court. I'm taking your
butt to court. I'll plead.

You' re in terrible trouble, Snake.

No, wait a minute.
No... Wait...

Give me a break.
Come on, Cleo, give me a break now.

Don't bust me. I can't go back
up there, Cleo. I can't.

- Two questions.
- Anything. You tell me. What? What?

- What you want?
- Did you make a sale to Jimmy Beekers?

Jimmy... Hell, no.
I didn't make no sale to him.

He's gone straight since he been
hanging out with Reuben and that bunch.

Who told you to stick me?

Nobody. Nobody told me
anything about sticking you.

I'm gonna ask you one more time.

Hey, look, it was Pickle.
Wait a minute, it was Pickle.

The word came from Doodlebug.
He said you were after me...

...and I should get you first.

Shit, I should've known better.
I ain't no killer.

Told you.

What you doing?

Look what you' re doing.
Hey, that's pure shit!

Flush it.

All right. All right.

Shit.

Now, you listen to me,
and you listen to me good, Snake.

Get yourself together.

Because if I ever hear of you selling
so much as a cough drop...

...I'm coming down on you so hard,
you'll never get out of jail.

You dig it?

Hurry up, you guys, here she comes.

Well, I see you' re a man of your word.

Can't make it in the world
if you' re not.

- Say, what you got inside that car?
- You mean under the hood?

No, I mean while you was gone,
there was a buzzing inside of it.

- That's the phone.
- A phone in your car?

- That's right.
- Right on.

First phone booth I ever seen
with mag wheels.

- Goodbye, Maxwell Woodman.
- So long.

Man, that is some kind of woman.

Man, give me the ball.

This is Cleopatra Jones.
Were you ringing me?

Got it. Will you call Captain Crawford
and give him the same message?

Thanks.

How's it going?

- What's happening?
- I think we've got him nailed.

Purdy went into that Hilton shambles
carrying a black satchel.

Two dudes went in right behind him.
Could be dope.

Yeah. Unless they plan to set up
housekeeping up there, that's our man.

- They' re on the third floor.
- All right. Matthew, you cover the rear.

- Got you.
- Melvin, I'll go in the front. You cover.

- Right on, baby.
- All right.

All right.

- I'll get the rest for you guys tomorrow.
- See if you can get us some .38s.

- Thirty-eights?
- Oh, yeah.

Hello, sport.

Sorry I have to break up
your little gathering.

I'd like to introduce myself.

- Cleopatra Jones.
- Well, Wonder Woman.

- You silly bitch.
- Mind if I take a peek?

No. Here.

Get her!

Hi, I'm the man from Glad.

And I'm the Avon lady.

I'm coming through there, boy.

Did I hear the man correctly?
Did he call you Roy?

You better get out of my way.

You heard what the man said.
Let him by.

Yes, sir. Feel free.

I'll blow your damn brains out.

Shit.

You better hold it.
Just freeze.

That's it.

That's it.

That's smart, girl.

Just hang it right there.

Cleo!

Calm down, Lou.
Everything's under control.

What the hell goes on around here?

What's with Purdy?

One of your finest.

Stealing and selling
confiscated weapons.

What?

These two dudes over here,
buying the Saturday night special.

Nothing smells worse
than a rotten cop!

- And you stink. Hold this.
- Got anything to say, Purdy?

I ain't talking till I see a lawyer.

We' re going to find out anyway.

Why don't you tell us who paid you
to plant dope on Jimmy Beekers?

I never planted no dope on nobody.

And if I did, I wouldn't lift a finger
to help you or any of your kind.

- You' re tempting me!
- Take it easy.

- Then get him out of here!
- Tommy, come on. Get him out of here.

Take it easy.
These damn handcuffs ain't Jell-O!

- Want us to do anything else for you?
- No, baby, it's cool.

Right on, mama,
you' re looking good yourself.

Hey, wait a minute.
Who is "us"?

Sorry. Lou, the Johnson brothers.

I'm Matthew.

And I'm Melvin.
What's happening, my man?

The Johnson brothers.

- Matt and Mel.
- That's right.

What do you mean by that?

I'll explain later. Right now I'd like to
go and have a talk with Doodlebug.

Doodlebug was killed last night.

Fireplug, Pickle and the chauffeur.
A real mess.

- What about Tiffany?
- We' re looking for her.

- I think I know where I can find her.
- Well, let's go.

I'll handle it, Lou.

- Cleo.
- Lou.

- All right, but be careful.
- All right.

Kert, you ever have
feelings of inadequacy?

"If you so desire and can't afford one,
an attorney will be appointed."

Listen, let me ask. Are you sure
you don't want us to go with you?

No, it's cool.
I'll talk to you later.

- Thanks.
- Right on, baby.

You know what?

I got a funny feeling, man.

Yeah, there's something that
don't sit right with me neither.

Come on, let's go.

Hi, Andy.

- Something I can get for you?
- Your sister.

Look, why don't you and Crawford and
everybody else just get off our backs!

Just leave me and Tiffany alone.

The guys that killed Doodlebug...

...aren't going to forget about Tiffany.
It's not their style.

They' re probably out looking for her
right now. And they'll find her.

Now, her only chance
is if I get to her first.

She's at Saint Cecilia's.

Forty-second and Normandie.

I'm glad you came.

I didn't know what to do.

I wanted to run away.

- They' re gonna kill me, aren't they?
- No.

- They' re gonna kill me...
- No, Tiffany.

Why do they want to kill me?

You were his friend.

They can't leave any loose ends.

But I never meant
to do anything wrong.

It's just that Doodlebug opened up
this big box of goodies...

...and said, "Help yourself."

The only trouble is
I never knew when to stop.

Well, now is as
good a time as any.

Mommy wants to see you.

So you work for Mommy.

Well, I do her a few favours.

Like planting that dope
on Jimmy Beekers?

That's right. I'm very helpful.

I also tie up the loose ends,
like our friend Tiffany here.

And when there's
a special problem like you...

...I help her erase it.

Zap.

Escort the young ladies
to the car, please.

Be cool, baby, it's all right.

You' re beautiful, Kert.

I know.

All right, out.

Cleo, you finally decided
to pay me a little visit, huh?

Well, honey, what do you
think of my little love nest?

Whatever turns you on, baby.

Why, you sweet pickaninny.

You know what turns me on.

Games. Like dealing in schoolyards.

All right, the game is over, and I win.

Well, you' re liable to find
this meat just a little tough.

We' re gonna remedy
that one right now.

Come on, Cleo, pick a car.
Any car, huh?

How about that nice
grey one up there?

Tony, you go check it out. See if the
ladies are gonna be comfortable in it.

Go on.

It's perfect!

- Does it still have seat belts?
- Yes, Mom.

Try them on. See if they work.

Yes, it's a perfect coffin.

Good.

Let me out!
Let me out!

Put me down!

Put me down!

Put me down!

Oh, my God, Mommy. Please!

Put me down!

For Chrissakes, put me down!

You made one mistake
too many, Tony.

I'll never make another mistake.
Please, put me down!

- Promise?
- I promise!

We've been together 10 years.
Please! Please!

You mean if I put you down, you
promise never to make another mistake?

No more mistakes,
I promise. Please!

I guess I'm just becoming
an old softy.

All right, put him down.

That down enough for you?

Pay attention.
Now we've come to the best part.

Oh, my God, no.

Oh, you fat, slimy, blubbery bitch!

That Tony.

He was always
a sweet little candy-ass.

All right now, get them in that
nice green one over there.

Wait a minute.

Cleo, no wisecracks, no jokes?

No begging, no pleading?

No way, fatso.

All right, get her out of here.

Don't you drop them.
I want to enjoy every minute of this!

What the...?

Don't just stand there!
Shoot them!

Okay. Back up the plates.
Get them on the other side!

Come on, guys.
Get that thing moving.

Surprise, brother.

To protect and serve? Shit!

You bitch!

Now, guess who jumped
out of the woodpile!

You lose.

Your attention, please.
Hold it down. Come on over.

I would like to offer a toast...

...to Miss Cleopatra Jones.

Wish her success on her mission.

And a very safe and fast return.

- She's very important to a lot of people.
- I'll drink to that.

- Hear, hear!
- We'll miss you, Cleo.

Thanks, Lou.

Hey, where's mine?

Walk a lady to her car?

My pleasure.

Hey, where are you going?

Don't you worry about it, brother.
I got it together.

Cleo?

Well...

How long this time, baby?

Until it's finished.

You take care of yourself.

You too.

Somebody's watching you.

- Right on!
- Right on!

Right on, Cleo!

- Take it easy, Cleo!
- Right on.

Right on, baby!

Right on!

Ressynch: Kilo