Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) - full transcript

Hang on, we're coming to a bend.

You're going too fast.

No, I'm not. Hang on.

What's this heap of

old iron doing here?

Old iron?

I'll give you 10 bob for it.

Don't be daft.

This was once a great car.

Won the Grand Prix

three years running.

So it's a car, is it?

Certainly it's a car.

It's a racing car.

And we're winning.

And you're in the way.

And you're in the way for a

right belt around the ear,

young man, if I have

any more of your lip.

All right. I'll give

you 15 bob for it.

Make it 30 bob, and she's yours.

Mr Coggins, you're not going

to sell her, are you?

Of course he's gonna sell her.

What do you think

he's running here,

a children's playground

or something?

All right, 30 bob. I'll

pick her up Wednesday.

But, Mr Coggins, you promised

we could play in her.

Well, I'm sorry, my dears,

but she ain't any use to me.

Times are hard.

But you can't take her away.

She's not just any

old car. She's ours.

Not any more, she ain't.

I'll see you tomorrow, Bill.

Giddy-up.

What're you going to do with her?

I'll tell you what we're

gonna do with her,

we're gonna put her in the clapper

and we're gonna crunch her up till

she's one solid piece of metal.

Then we're gonna put her

in a fiery furnace,

and we're gonna melt her

down till she's liquid iron.

That's what we're

gonna do with her.

Now look what you've done.

You've frightened her.

She shivered.

See? She's a very special car.

If you put her in

the fiery furnace,

you'll be guilty of murder.

Yeah, and if you

don't get out of it,

I'll be guilty of

two more murders.

Now go on, out of it.

Giddy-up. Giddy-up.

Please, Mr Coggins, you

can't sell our lovely car

to that nasty man.

Well, I'm sorry, children, but

I'm afraid I already have.

I know. Daddy will buy it

for us. Won't he, Jemima?

Of course he will.

Mr Coggins, promise you won't

let her go until we come back.

Well, 30 shillings,

mind. Not a penny less.

Please promise.

Please.

All right, I promise.

Come on, Jemima.

Well, that's a clever thing to do.

We're very sorry, Miss.

I'm sure you are.

Well, just look at my car.

And just look what a

mess I'm in, too.

Oh, no, I think you're beautiful.

And I like your car.

Just the same, you shouldn't be

rushing across the road like that.

You know, you might

have been killed.

Anyway, why aren't you in school?

It isn't a holiday, is it?

No, Miss.

Do you live around here?

Yes, we live just down the road.

Come on, get into my car,

I'm taking you home.

Gosh, just wait till Daddy hears

we've been for a

ride in a motorcar.

Yes.

What's your name?

I'm Jemima.

And I'm Jeremy.

- What's yours?

- Truly.

That's a very pretty name.

Now, where is your house?

Oh, we don't live in a house.

We live in the castle

on top of the hill.

A castle? I didn't know there

were any castles around here.

Well, it isn't a castle exactly.

That's what Daddy calls it.

He says King Alfred used to live

there hundreds of years ago.

And does your daddy know

you aren't in school?

Oh, he won't mind. He never does.

Anyway, he's awfully busy.

Is he?

Well, he'll have to

find time to see me,

because I have a few

things to say to him.

Edison. Edison.

Come here, boy.

Good boy, good boy.

That's Daddy over there.

- Hello.

- Hello.

Hello. You're just in time.

What on earth is he up to?

That's his latest invention.

Rockets.

Rockets?

Stand back.

Keep clear.

Does he know what he's doing?

Of course he does.

Well, I don't see anything funny.

Somebody should do

something about it.

Hold on. Hold on.

Wait. Wait there.

Thank you.

I should hope so.

You might have gone up in flames.

Madam, I took that

into consideration.

This suit is

completely flameproof.

Oh, dear.

You have just succeeded in

ruining my propulsion unit.

But how was I to know

that you were...

Don't be cross with

the lady, Daddy.

She gave us a ride in her car.

She was only trying to help.

How very kind.

- Her name's Truly.

- That's nice.

Do you realise, Mr Potts,

that I nearly knocked

down your two children?

Well, we do seem to be

accident-prone, don't we?

But it wasn't my fault. You

see, they came rushing out...

Oh, well, it was very, very

nice of you to apologise.

- Apologise?

- Tea time, children.

Bye-bye, Truly.

Thanks for the ride.

Just a moment, you two.

Don't you have something

to tell your father?

Yes, we have. Daddy, Mr

Coggins promised us...

But she didn't mean about that.

Daddy, we didn't go

to school today.

Well, it'll give

the other children

a chance to catch up, won't it?

Run along, children.

- Goodbye. Goodbye.

- Bye, Truly.

Come on, Edison.

- But, Mr Potts...

- Good day.

- But, but...

- Unstable. Definitely unstable.

Good afternoon, Miss. Sorry I

can't stop. I'm off to India.

Going to have a cup of tea

with the Maharajah. Cheerio.

Mr Potts.

I'm sorry to persist about this,

but perhaps you simply aren't

aware that your children

were running about in the road.

And after all, you know, it's

not a playground. It's very...

Would you mind just

pressing that switch there?

- Switch?

- Yes, just behind you.

On the right. The right.

The right?

Thank you.

You really ought to try and

exercise more control over them.

Yes, I suppose I could

chain them up, couldn't I?

On a nice long chain, of course,

so they get plenty of exercise.

Mr Potts, don't your

children go to school?

Oh, I have it now. You're

the truant officer.

No, I'm not the truant officer.

Well, didn't you ever play

truant? I mean, just once?

No, I most certainly did not.

I bet you didn't.

Would it be too much to ask

what this is, this, thing?

A little invention of mine,

cleans carpets by suction.

All that to clean carpets?

Away with sweeping, and

away with brushing,

and away with dirty carpets.

Is that all you do, Mr

Potts? Invent things?

Is that all I do?

And what's this gadget?

Well, that's not quite right yet,

but eventually, I hope to transmit

moving pictures by wireless.

- Oh, really?

- Yes, really. That's my...

And this?

This, madam, is a

sweet-making machine.

And is this one of the sweets?

Yes, it is.

And is it supposed to have

all those holes in it?

No. Actually, I think

that the problem is...

The boiling point of

your sugar is too high.

Oh, we're an expert on

sweet-making, are we?

Well, as a matter of fact...

And an expert on child welfare.

I was only trying to

help your children.

Well, maybe my children like

running wild in the street.

- Did that ever occur to you?

- I do not see any cause to...

And in any case, how

my children behave

is frankly no concern of yours.

I was merely trying...

So, if you'll be so good

as to take yourself off

in that fancy automobile of yours

and go do good somewhere else.

Well, I've never been...

Spoken to that way before?

Well, maybe it's about time.

Good afternoon, madam.

Mind the cable.

Vicious, interfering...

if women are going to

drive motorcars around,

they should learn to

operate one correctly.

Well, I suppose it wouldn't occur

to you to offer to help me.

Get in the car. Please.

Well, for a mechanically-minded

man, Mr Potts...

Try switching it on.

Open the throttle.

And keep it open.

Women.

Confounded woman. Who

does she think she is?

Coming in here and telling

me how to raise my children.

Do I need somebody to tell

me how to raise my children?

Do I?

No, of course not. Of course not.

Where's my cardigan?

Under your jacket.

- Under...

- Yes.

Self-righteous busybody.

She won't be bothering us again.

But I liked her.

So did I. She was very pretty.

She certainly was.

Do you think your

father's a crackpot?

Your cardigan's inside out.

Do you think I'm a lunatic,

wasting my time on a lot

of silly inventions?

But they aren't silly.

They're wonderful.

Nobody else could think of them.

That's right. That is right.

Nobody else could think of them.

Yes. After all, what makes the

battle worth the fighting?

What makes the mountain

worth the climb?

What makes the questions

worth the asking?

The reason worth the rhyme?

♪ To me, the answer's clear ♪

♪ It's having someone near ♪

♪ Someone dear ♪

♪ Someone to care for

to be there for ♪

♪ I have you two ♪

♪ Someone to do for

muddle through for ♪

♪ I have you two ♪

♪ Someone to share joy

or despair with ♪

♪ Whichever betides you ♪

♪ Life becomes a chore ♪

♪ Unless you're living for ♪

♪ Someone to tend to,

be a friend to ♪

♪ I have you two ♪

♪ Someone to strive

for do or die for ♪

♪ I have you two ♪

♪ Could be we three get

along so famously ♪

♪ Because you two have me ♪

♪ And I have you two, too ♪

♪ Someone to care for

to be there for ♪

♪ I have you two ♪

♪ Someone to do for

muddle through for ♪

♪ I have you two ♪

♪ Someone to smile

once in a while with ♪

♪ Whenever you're lonesome ♪

♪ I've a happy lot ♪

♪ Considering what I've got ♪

♪ But I couldn't do more ♪

♪ Than you do for

your poor father ♪

Daddy. Daddy.

♪ Things go asunder ♪

♪ And I wonder why you bother ♪

♪ Could be we three ♪

♪ Get along so famously because ♪

♪ We two have you ♪

♪ And I have you two ♪

♪ Too ♪

Jeremy.

Oh, good.

Do I smell food?

Bring the bread,

will you, Grandpa.

Yes, sir. Sir. Sir.

And pepper and salt, please.

Right away, sir.

Sausage and egg, my favourite.

- How was India?

- India?

I'll tell you something.

I got up this morning,

and I shot an elephant in

my pyjamas. How he ever...

Got into my pyjamas,

I shall never know.

You've heard it before.

Now, I wonder how that

could have happened.

Daddy, could we ask you something?

It's about Mr Coggins.

Mr Coggins.

You see, the junkman

wanted to take it away.

But Mr Coggins says if

we asked you first...

Asked me what first?

He's a horrid, mean, old man.

Mr Coggins?

No, the junkman.

He's going to take it away

and put it in a furnace. And

burn it all up. It's terrible.

What are you going on about?

Our car.

Yes, well, what about it?

Mr Coggins is selling

it to the junkman.

And the junkman's going to

put it in the fiery furnace.

And squidge it all up till

there's nothing left.

Oh, well, that's terrible.

That is terrible.

We can't let that happen, Grandpa.

No, definitely not.

We knew you wouldn't

let them, Daddy.

So we made Mr Coggins

promise we could have it

if you gave him 30 shillings.

30 shillings.

You can give Mr Coggins the

money in the morning, Daddy.

Yes, well, I suppose we can

work something out somehow.

Good. Hooray.

Are you all finished?

- Yes, Daddy.

- Yes, thank you.

Well, I think, maybe, you

should go run up to bed.

- Good night, Grandpa.

- Good night, my boy. Sleep tight.

Good night, Grandpa.

Good night, my darling.

God bless you.

- Good night, Daddy.

- Good night.

Good night, Daddy.

Yes, well, you've done

it now, haven't you?

You think Coggins might do

a deal? So much a week?

Coggins? What, him

down the road? Sure.

He's so mean he

wouldn't light your

pipe if his house was on fire.

Did you hear that? You know

what that means, don't you?

I'll be up all night, rain

pouring through my bedroom roof.

Grandpa, why don't you sleep in

the workshop? It's nice and...

The workshop?

You promised, faithfully,

to fix my bedroom roof.

I will, Grandpa. It's just...

Caractacus, please.

My boy, listen.

It's time you woke up. When I was

your age, I did a day's work...

For a day's pay, polishing

the Colonel's boots.

I was the smartest batman

in the British Army.

So you've been telling me.

When my Brigadier

went into action,

the fuzzy-wuzzies were so blinded

by the shine on his boots,

they couldn't see to fight.

Catch me death of cold.

He doesn't care.

Nobody cares. Me own son.

She was right. Who wants

sweets with holes in them?

Oh, Edison, stop that whistling.

Edison, hey, do that again.

Edison, you're a genius.

The employment office

is in the rear.

Thank you. Oh.

You see, I've invented

these sweets.

Really?

Name?

Whistling Sweets. Mr

Whistling Sweets.

Not Mr Whistling Sweets.

No, I'm Potts.

May I see the managing director?

Lord Scrumptious sees no one

without an appointment.

Well, how do I get an appointment?

Why, hello, children.

Jeremy, it's Truly.

Hello, Truly.

Good morning, Miss Scrumptious.

How nice to see you.

Good morning, Phillips. Please

tell my father that I'm here.

But of course, Miss Scrumptious.

Are you here on

business, Mr Potts?

Yes, Miss...

Father? Truly Scrumptious.

You're his...

His daughter.

Come on, children, let's go.

But, Daddy, you haven't shown

anybody your invention.

Somehow, I don't think

that'll do much good.

Just a moment, Mr Potts.

Exactly what was it you...

You've seen them.

Oh, those. But they whistle.

Whistle?

Those holes.

You just blow through them.

They're very ingenious.

Kind of a novelty.

Please go in, Miss Scrumptious.

You can come back in

three weeks' time.

Show Mr Potts in, Phillips.

- Now?

- Now.

- But his Lordship said...

- Now.

Very well. Please follow me.

Maybe I should come

back in three weeks.

Oh, Daddy.

Go on, Daddy.

All right.

And don't let him bully you.

Yes.

Mr Potts, milord.

Potts? Who's he?

Where's me daughter?

She insisted on Mr

Potts seeing you.

All right, don't just stand

there. What's it all about?

Sweets, sir.

I hardly thought it was nuts

and bolts. Let's have a look.

Yes.

- Hurry up, man.

- Yes, sir.

If I may be allowed

to explain, sir.

You have exactly 20 seconds.

Yes.

Well, the fundamental novelty

of these particular sweets

is their musical quality.

Not only are they

remarkably tasty,

but due to the unique positioning

of these little holes,

they are capable,

when blown through,

of rendering a tuneful whistle.

Place your fingers over

the holes and blow thus.

Tasting time, milord.

Too late. Had your chance.

Muffed it. Good morning.

Go on. Follow him.

Milord?

Sir?

Excuse me.

Sir, if I may be allowed

to demonstrate.

You see, by blowing

air through this

hole in the centre of the sweet

you get a wonderful-sounding...

- Raspberry?

- No, no.

It's more like a toot, really.

Not enough fruit, too much sugar.

- Yes, milord.

- Prepare the peppermint.

Beautiful. Would you

care to try it, sir?

Under no circumstances.

Prepare the lemon.

He's not doing very well, is he?

You know, another remarkable

feature about these little sweets

- is that by sucking on them...

- Throw it away.

Will you get rid of

this idiot for me?

Milord. You... in perfect pitch.

They also come in

strawberry, raspberry...

- Are you still here?

- Lemon and...

And pineapple.

Go on.

Don't waste your pucker

on some all-day sucker.

And don't try a toffee or cream.

If you seek perfection

in sugar confection,

well, there's something

new on the scene.

A mouthful of cheer, a

sweet without peer.

♪ A musical morsel supreme ♪

♪ Toot sweets, toot sweets ♪

♪ The candies you whistle ♪

♪ The whistles you eat ♪

♪ Toot sweets, toot sweets ♪

♪ The eatable, tweetable treats ♪

♪ Toot sweets, toot sweets ♪

♪ The toot of a flute with

the flavour of fruit ♪

♪ Toot sweets, toot sweets ♪

♪ No longer need candy be mute ♪

♪ Don't waste your pucker

on some all-day sucker ♪

♪ And don't try a

toffee or cream ♪

♪ If you seek perfection

in sugar confection ♪

♪ Well, there's something

new on the scene ♪

♪ That mouthful of cheer ♪

♪ That sweet without peer ♪

♪ That musical morsel supreme

that musical morsel supreme ♪

♪ Toot sweets, toot sweets ♪

♪ A bonbon to blow on at

last has been found ♪

♪ Toot sweets, toot sweets ♪

♪ With tweetable, eatable sound ♪

No. Take it away.

Father, please.

He likes it.

♪ Their value is intrinsic ♪

♪ Surpass any mint stick ♪

♪ Or marshmallow

mouthful you munch ♪

♪ Though liquorice is chewy ♪

♪ And gumdrops are gooey ♪

♪ And chocolate is

charming to crunch ♪

♪ That savoury fife ♪

♪ That sweet of your life ♪

♪ It's clearly the

best of the bunch ♪

♪ Toot sweets, toot sweets ♪

♪ That savoury fife ♪

♪ That sweet of your life ♪

♪ Is clearly the

best of the bunch ♪

♪ Toot sweets, toot sweets ♪

♪ A bonbon to blow on at

last has been found ♪

♪ Toot sweets, toot sweets ♪

♪ The treat that's so tweetable ♪

♪ Lusciously eatable ♪

♪ With that unbeatable ♪

♪ Sound ♪

Get out of here. Go away.

What's going on?

Get those dogs out of here.

Edison, no.

Edison. Edison.

- Children.

- Edison.

Edison.

It's entirely your fault.

I'll send for the police.

Daddy.

Now, why aren't you two asleep?

Don't be sad, Daddy.

It wasn't your fault.

It was all those mean, old dogs.

Children,

about the car...

You see,

30 shillings is pretty

hard to come by.

And when I do get any money,

I need it for my inventions.

Well, there isn't any left.

Jeremy and I have been thinking.

It's our treasure chest.

These things are

enormously valuable.

Look, an ivory tusk.

That must be worth a fortune.

And diamonds.

And a golden crown.

It's probably King Alfred's.

Of course, it needs

cleaning up a little.

Take them, Daddy.

You can sell them.

And never mind about

the car. You can

spend it all on your inventions.

Thank you, children.

All these wonderful things,

they're very precious.

But I'm afraid other people

wouldn't appreciate them.

Why not, Daddy?

Because other people don't

see things the way you do.

Come on, now. Let's go to bed.

And don't you worry.

Things are going to

come right somehow.

♪ A gentle breeze ♪

♪ From Hushabye Mountain ♪

♪ Softly blows ♪

♪ O'er Lullaby Bay ♪

♪ It fills the sails ♪

♪ Of boats that are waiting ♪

♪ Waiting to sail

your worries away ♪

♪ It isn't far ♪

♪ To Hushabye Mountain ♪

♪ And your boat waits

down by the quay ♪

♪ The winds of night ♪

♪ So softly are sighing ♪

♪ Soon they will fly

your troubles to sea ♪

♪ So close your eyes

on Hushabye Mountain ♪

♪ Wave goodbye to

cares of the day ♪

♪ And watch your boat ♪

♪ From Hushabye Mountain ♪

♪ Sail far away ♪

♪ From Lullaby Bay ♪

All the lovely colours.

Two for the price of one.

Get your balloons here.

Hurry, hurry, hurry along now.

Don't miss these

lovely toffee apples.

Hurry along now. Get your

toffee apples at 8p each.

Thank you very much, young

man. Any more for any more?

Which one of you lovely

ladies and gentlemen

would like a splendid,

automatic haircut?

I've stood in this

marketplace for 25 years.

I do not profess to

make dead men talk.

Hey, now, here you go then.

Who's for an automatic haircut?

Only three pence a time.

You may have long hair, you

may have short hair, sir,

you may have straight hair,

it makes no difference

to the Potts automatic

and hygienic,

electronic hair-cutting machine.

Come on. You could

do with a haircut.

Cut me hair? That's

where me strength is.

Excuse me, sir, you look like a

man who could do with a haircut.

Bah. Yeah, go on. Go on.

Come on, sit down.

Hold that, then.

My word, you have a lot of hair.

Would you like an estimate, sir?

Very funny. Go on, get on with it.

You just sit tight, sir, while I

lower this hair-cutting machine.

There we are. You just relax,

we'll have you finished in a bit.

I feel like a real right

Nana sitting here.

No, you look lovely, Cyril.

It's going to be smashing.

You keep your eyes on that geezer.

Yeah, all right, then.

What's going on?

It's all right, Cyril,

it's all right.

Nothing to worry about, sir,

a little friction to start.

It tickles.

Oh, you always say that, Cyril.

Cyril, you're smoking.

I'm on fire.

Stop it. Oh.

Excuse me.

Me head's on fire.

It's all right, sir.

What you done? Give me a

mirror. Let's have a look.

A mirror? I'll go

home and get you one.

Me hair. Look at me hair.

Where is he? I'll kill him.

There he is, mister.

Cyril.

I'll smash your teeth

down your throat.

You.

Come on, you're too

fat to catch him.

Oi. Big bonce.

Get out of here.

There he is. Get out of my way.

Oi.

Here, hurry up. We're on.

Get out of the way. Get out of it.

♪ A gentleman's got a walking

stick, a seaman's got a gaff ♪

♪ And the merry men of Robin

Hood they used a quarterstaff ♪

♪ On the Spanish plains,

inside their canes ♪

♪ They hide their ruddy swords ♪

♪ But we make do with an old

bamboo and everyone applauds ♪

♪ One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight ♪

♪ Me old bamboo, me old bamboo ♪

♪ You better never bother

with me old bamboo ♪

♪ You can have me hat

or me bumbershoot ♪

♪ But you better never

bother with me old bamboo ♪

♪ When punting on the

beautiful Thames ♪

♪ You use a sturdy pole ♪

♪ To protect their

fair complexion ♪

♪ ladies use a parasol ♪

♪ It's useful in the underbrush ♪

♪ To have a hefty spear right ♪

♪ But what we do

with an old bamboo ♪

♪ Makes everybody cheer ♪

♪ One, two, three ♪

♪ Me old bamboo, me old bamboo ♪

♪ You better never bother

with me old bamboo ♪

♪ You can have me hat

or me bumbershoot ♪

♪ But you better never

bother with me old bamboo ♪

♪ Have a go, mate ♪

♪ A flyer in an aerial plane ♪

♪ He steers it with

a stick he does? ♪

♪ A collier in the pits of wales ♪

♪ He leans upon his

pick that's right ♪

♪ Now every wheel of an automobile

revolves around a shaft ♪

♪ But what we do with an old

bamboo makes everyone go daft ♪

♪ And one, two ♪

♪ Me old bamboo, me old bamboo ♪

♪ You better never bother

with me old bamboo ♪

♪ You can have me hat

or me bumbershoot ♪

♪ But you better never

bother with me old bamboo ♪

♪ One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight ♪

♪ And a-one, two, three, four ♪

♪ And a-five and six and seven ♪

♪ Me old bamboo, me old bamboo ♪

♪ You better never bother

with me old bamboo ♪

♪ You can have me hat

or me bumbershoot ♪

♪ But you better never

bother with me old bamboo ♪

♪ You better never bother

with me old bamboo ♪

Thank you. Here,

thank you very much.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

It's Daddy. It's Daddy.

He's got the car.

Look. I've got it.

He's got the car.

He's got the car.

Come on. Come on.

Come on.

- Hello.

- The car.

What do you think of this?

Isn't she a beauty?

Oh, Daddy. Oh.

That's a nice pile of junk

you got there, my boy.

Well, it needs a little work, but

there's a fine engine under here.

It doesn't go, though, does it?

No, not yet, but it will. It will.

You can make it go,

can't you, Daddy?

Well, I'm gonna give it a try.

All right, come on, everybody,

put a hand to the wheel.

George, give us a hand, will you?

- Yes, sir.

- Okay, heave.

We're off. We're off. Hooray.

Comfortable, Grandpa?

Won't work, of course.

Another catastrophe.

- Left hand down.

- Come on, Grandpa, push.

Watch it, Jeremy.

Mind the bicycle.

Push.

Good. Keep coming, Jeremy.

That's it. Keep coming.

Look out, Edison.

Watch out, Edison.

Look out, Edison.

That's it. Keep coming.

Good. Whoa. That's it. Whoa.

All right, governor. Many,

many thanks, George.

Right. Now...

- Can we stay and watch, Daddy?

- Yes.

No, come on, my dears,

we'd better go.

You know what your dad's

like when he's working.

But, Grandpa, we wanted

to stay and watch.

Come back in the house, darling.

I'll make you a nice cup of tea.

Don't overdo it, will you, my boy?

Right, Grandpa. You

might exhaust yourself.

Come on.

"And the big brown bear

"came lolloping over the mountain.

"'No, no, ' the princess cried.

"And the big brown bear came

lolloping over the mountain."

it's awfully quiet in there.

Come on, children,

breakfast is ready.

He's been there for days.

Will you please come and

have your breakfast?

But Daddy said the car

would be finished today.

Darling, you'll be

waiting a month of

Sundays before he's finished that.

Come on. Be good

children. Come on.

That's Daddy. The car.

He's finished the car.

Gosh.

Well, what do you think of her?

She's the most beautiful

thing I ever saw in my life.

It's wonderful. Oh,

Daddy, you're so clever.

Oh, yes. Can we go for a drive?

- For a drive?

- A drive. A drive.

I have a better idea.

How about a picnic?

Hooray. A picnic. A picnic.

All right? Let's get cracking.

You get the basket

out of the workshop.

- Get in, Jemima.

- Hooray. Hooray.

Hurry. Mind the woodwork.

Mind the woodwork.

Don't touch. Don't touch the horn.

Here's the basket, Daddy.

Oh, yes, just put it on

the back. All right.

Now. Don't touch that.

Grandfather. Come on.

We're going on a picnic.

Get aboard, Grandpa.

Come on, come on.

It'll never go, my dears.

Not if he's had

anything to do with it.

But it is going.

Then it'll never stop.

Anyway, it's far too hot.

Where are you going?

Me? I'm off to Alaska,

me boy. Cheerio.

- Goodbye, Grandpa.

- Come on, Daddy.

- All right.

- Come on. Come on.

We're off. Hooray.

We're off. We're off.

Sit down, Jemima, sit down.

- Are you ready?

- Yes.

Here we go.

Mind your back, Grandpa.

Bye, Grandpa.

Nasty, smelly things, motorcars.

What a funny noise it's making.

It's talking to us.

All engines talk.

What's it saying?

It's saying, Chitty,

Chitty, Chitty, Chitty.

Chitty, Chitty, Chitty,

Chitty, Chitty, Chitty.

Bang, bang.

Chitty, Chitty, Chitty,

Chitty, bang, bang.

Chitty, Chitty, bang, bang.

Chitty, Chitty, bang, bang.

Chitty, Chitty, bang, bang.

♪ Chitty bang bang Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Chitty bang bang Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Oh, you, pretty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Chitty Chitty bang

bang, we love you ♪

♪ And in Chitty Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Chitty Chitty bang

bang, what we'll do ♪

♪ Near, far, in our motorcar ♪

♪ Oh, what a happy

time we'll spend ♪

♪ Bang bang, Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Our fine four-fendered friend ♪

♪ Bang bang, Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Our fine four-fendered friend ♪

♪ Chitty bang bang Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Oh, you, pretty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Chitty Chitty bang

bang, we love you ♪

♪ And in Chitty Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Chitty Chitty bang

bang, what we'll do ♪

♪ Near, far, in our motorcar ♪

♪ Oh, what a happy

time we'll spend ♪

♪ Bang bang, Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Our fine four-fendered friend ♪

♪ Bang bang, Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Our fine four-fendered friend ♪

♪ You're sleek as a thoroughbred ♪

♪ Your seats are a featherbed ♪

♪ You'll turn everybody's

head today ♪

♪ We'll glide on our motor trip ♪

♪ With pride in our ownership ♪

♪ The envy of all we survey ♪

♪ Oh, Chitty, you Chitty

pretty Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Chitty Chitty bang

bang, we love you ♪

♪ And Chitty, in Chitty

pretty Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Chitty Chitty bang

bang, what we'll do ♪

♪ Near Chitty, far Chitty,

in our motorcar ♪

♪ Oh, what a happy

time we'll spend ♪

♪ Bang bang, Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Our fine four-fendered friend ♪

♪ Bang bang, Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Our fine four-fendered friend ♪

♪ Chitty Chitty bang bang

Chitty Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Fine four-fendered

Chitty Chitty friend ♪

Daddy. Look out.

You'll find a slight

squeeze on the hooter

an excellent safety

precaution, Miss Scrumptious.

Never mind about that.

How am I supposed

to get out of here?

Well, looks to me as

if you have to walk.

Or swim.

What? In this dress? Oh, don't

be ridiculous, Mr Potts.

- Come on.

- What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna carry you.

Oh, dear, must you?

Well, unless you'd

rather ride piggyback.

All right. You may carry me.

Good.

Wait, wait, wait. My handbag. Oh.

It's all right.

- Thank you.

- Not at all.

We're going to the seaside.

On a picnic.

Come with us. Please.

Well, I'm hardly in the

mood for a picnic just now.

Well, you needn't

worry about your car.

I can have Mr Coggins tow it out.

- Well, I...

- We've got sausage tarts.

And marmalade rolls.

I'm afraid I got 'em

a little mixed up.

What an unusual car.

Daddy made it.

Oh. And it actually goes?

It's called Chitty

Chitty Bang Bang.

That's a curious

name for a motorcar.

But that's the sound it makes.

Listen.

♪ Chitty bang bang Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Chitty bang bang Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Oh, you, pretty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Chitty Chitty bang

bang, we love you ♪

♪ And our pretty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Chitty Chitty bang

bang loves us too ♪

♪ High, low, anywhere we go ♪

♪ On Chitty Chitty we depend ♪

♪ Bang bang, Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Our fine four-fendered friend ♪

♪ Bang bang, Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Our fine four-fendered friend ♪

♪ You're sleek as a thoroughbred ♪

♪ Your seats are a featherbed ♪

♪ You'll turn everybody's

head today ♪

♪ We'll glide on our motor trip ♪

♪ With pride in our ownership ♪

♪ The envy of all we survey ♪

♪ Oh, Chitty, you Chitty

pretty Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Chitty Chitty bang

bang, we love you ♪

♪ And, Chitty, our Chitty

pretty Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Chitty Chitty bang

bang loves us too ♪

♪ High Chitty, low

Chitty, anywhere we go ♪

♪ On Chitty Chitty we depend ♪

♪ Bang bang, Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Our fine four-fendered friend ♪

♪ Bang bang, Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Our fine four-fendered ♪

♪ Chitty Chitty bang bang

Chitty Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Fine four-fendered

Chitty Chitty friend ♪

Oops.

I'm so glad you came. It's much

more fun with two grown-ups.

Truly Scrumptious.

You know, even if we

didn't know your name,

we could have guessed it.

You had to be called

something lovely.

Like Yum Yum.

Or Angel Cake.

Or Toot Sweets.

Yes. Toot Sweets.

Toot Sweets? Oh, no.

♪ Toot sweets sound

like what they are ♪

♪ So do lollies in

a lollipop jar ♪

♪ Gingerbread men have

a gingerbread sound ♪

♪ We've found ♪

♪ Sugarplum, cinnamon,

and lemon tart ♪

♪ Tell you what they are

right from the start ♪

♪ And your name does

the same for you ♪

♪ By coincidence,

Truly Scrumptious ♪

♪ You're truly,

Truly Scrumptious ♪

♪ Scrumptious as a

cherry peach parfait ♪

♪ When you're near us ♪

♪ It's so delicious ♪

♪ Honest, Truly ♪

♪ You're the answer

to our wishes ♪

♪ Truly Scrumptious ♪

♪ Though we may

seem presumptuous ♪

♪ Never, never ever go away ♪

♪ Our hearts beat so unruly ♪

♪ Because we love you Truly ♪

♪ Honest, Truly ♪

♪ We do ♪

Daddy. Daddy.

Boo.

♪ Truly Scrumptious ♪

♪ You two are Truly Scrumptious ♪

♪ Scrumptious as the

breeze across the bay ♪

♪ When you're smiling ♪

♪ It's so delicious ♪

♪ So beguiling ♪

♪ You're the answer to my wishes ♪

♪ Truly Scrumptious ♪

♪ You two are Truly Scrumptious ♪

♪ And I shan't forget

this lovely day ♪

♪ My heart beats so unruly ♪

♪ I also love you Truly ♪

♪ Honest, Truly ♪

♪ I do ♪

- Come on.

- Hey, wait for me.

Mr Potts.

Somebody call?

Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.

That's all right.

What are you doing?

Oh, just tinkering.

You know, Mr Potts, you have

two wonderful children.

Why, thank you. I must

agree with you there.

Isn't it beautiful?

Lovely. Just lovely.

Jeremy, it's not nice to peek.

I'm not peeking, I'm looking.

Do you think they like each other?

Of course they do.

Do you think they're

going to get married?

Has he kissed her yet?

Not yet.

Well, just as soon

as he kisses her

then they'll have to get married.

Jeremy, what are you doing?

I'm keeping a lookout for pirates.

There aren't any pirates

around here, are there, Truly?

Oh, I'm sure there

are. Hundreds of them.

Course there are.

This is where they bury their

treasure, isn't it, Daddy?

Tell us a story about

pirates, Daddy.

A story about pirates,

huh? Well, let me see.

A boat. I can see a boat.

A boat?

Did you say, "a boat"? That isn't

just any old boat out there.

No? No?

No. That is a private yacht of

the notorious Baron Bomburst.

- Baron Bomburst?

- Baron Bomburst?

You have never heard of Baron

Bomburst, ruler of Vulgaria?

The most evil man in the world.

Oh. Yeah.

And he has sailed all

the way to England

because he has heard tell

of a fantastic motorcar

built by that brilliant

inventor Caractacus Potts.

Yes, hooray.

And he has come to steal the car

and take it back to

Vulgaria with him.

- No.

- Yeah.

Yes.

That car.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want it. I want it.

I want it. I want it.

But, Your Excellency...

Are you giving me an argument?

No, Your Excellency.

Stand by the boats.

Stand by the boats. Man

the grappling hooks.

Man the grappling hooks.

And load the cannon.

Load the cannon.

He's awful.

He's terrible.

Not only that, he isn't even nice.

But he can't steal our lovely car.

You won't let him,

will you, Daddy?

Look. They're getting closer.

We've got to get away.

Start the car.

Quickly, Daddy,

before they get here.

Well, now, that's

easier said than done.

- But why, Daddy?

- Why?

Well, I'll tell you.

What none of us have noticed is

while we've been sitting here,

the tide has been coming in.

Now, we're completely cut off.

What are we going to do?

Do hurry, Mr Potts.

Now don't panic.

- Everyone, stay calm.

- Quickly, Daddy.

Quickly. Hurry up.

Look. They are completely

cut off by the tide.

They will all drown.

I haven't seen a good

drowning in years.

Is there anything

I can do to help?

The throttle. Push

the throttle lever.

Hurry, Daddy. Hurry.

Quickly, Daddy,

before they get here.

No, not that one, the other one.

It's no good. It won't start.

We're gonna have to swim

for it. Come on, Jemima.

We must. Come on. Come

on, Jeremy. We have to.

Come on, everybody over the side.

Quickly.

It's starting to change.

Everybody, hold on.

It's unbelievable.

Mr Potts, it's so clever.

This is impossible.

But you built it.

It's a magic car. You always

said it was a magic car.

- I did?

- Yes. Look, it's like a boat.

I knew Chitty would save us.

Hang on, everybody. We're off.

A floating car? What do you

think of that, Chancellor?

Yeah, Baron. A car floating,

floating on the water.

This, in my whole life long, it

never could be seen, never, never.

It's uncategorical.

A fuel-burning oracle.

Phantasmagorical machine.

♪ It's more than spectacular ♪

♪ To use the vernacular ♪

♪ It's wizard it's smashing ♪

♪ It's keen ♪

♪ Oh, Chitty, you Chitty

pretty Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Chitty Chitty bang

bang, we love you ♪

♪ And, Chitty, our Chitty

pretty Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Chitty Chitty bang

bang loves us too ♪

♪ High Chitty, low

Chitty, anywhere we go ♪

♪ On Chitty Chitty we depend ♪

♪ Bang bang, Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Our fine four-fendered friend ♪

They're firing at us.

All right. We'll

show them something.

Follow that car. Follow that car.

My word.

I want the car. I want

that car. I must have it.

Follow the car. Stop that car.

After them. Faster.

I want the car. I must have it.

Action stations, everybody.

We're going ashore.

Get out.

Where are my two spies?

Ah, there you are.

Now, then, I have a

secret mission for you.

You will go ashore,

and you will capture that

motorcar, understand? Good.

But if you fail,

I will cut off your heads.

Out.

I want that car.

Now, then, where are we?

I have here a map.

I know where we are,

stupid. We are in England.

And when we are in

England, what do we do?

We play cricket. We play...

No. We dress like Englishmen.

Remarkable weather we are

having for the time of year.

Do you not think so, Cuthbort?

Indubitably, Basil.

You know, Mr Potts...

Caractacus.

It's a pretty silly

name, isn't it?

Oh, I don't think so.

You know, I really

owe you an apology.

You're more than just a

father to those two children.

Oh, yes. Nursemaid, private tutor,

chief, cook, and bottle

washer. Everything.

Except what they really need.

Well, it's been quite a day.

Yes, certainly has.

Thank you, and say goodbye

to the children for me.

Yes, I will.

I hope we'll see you again.

I hope so, too. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

♪ This lovely, lonely man ♪

♪ I've only known a day ♪

♪ I look at him ♪

♪ And cannot look away ♪

♪ Oh, what a love ♪

♪ Oh, what a lovely, lonely man ♪

♪ I've met so many men ♪

♪ So easy to forget ♪

♪ I thought I'd grown

immune to them ♪

♪ And yet ♪

♪ He's such a love ♪

♪ He's such a lovely, lonely man ♪

♪ How did he touch my heart? ♪

♪ How did this feeling start? ♪

♪ This glow that feels ♪

♪ So warm inside ♪

♪ This sudden summer

storm inside ♪

♪ My life now has a plan ♪

♪ To someday make him see ♪

♪ That I need him ♪

♪ As much as he needs me ♪

♪ Oh, what a love ♪

♪ Oh, what a lovely, lonely man ♪

♪ My life now has a plan ♪

♪ To someday make him see ♪

♪ That I need him ♪

♪ As much as he needs me ♪

♪ Oh, what a love ♪

♪ Oh, what a lovely, lonely man ♪

♪ Oh, how I love ♪

♪ This one and only ♪

♪ Man ♪

Quickly. Quickly.

They're coming. They're coming.

Hurry. They're coming.

Quickly. Quickly.

Come on. Hurry. Come on.

Come on. They're coming.

Get ready. Get ready. Fire.

Stop, stop, stop.

This way.

No. Stop. Stop, stop.

They're trying to get

past, Daddy. Fine.

Go on. Get over, you half-wit.

It's Father. And he's

in one of his tempers.

Oh, that'll be a change.

You'd better let him pass.

I can't. There isn't room.

Get out of the way.

Move over, you idiot.

Turn off here.

What do you think you're doing?

We've got him.

Drive away from here.

You nincompoops.

I'll have you sent away for the

rest of your natural lives.

I suppose you blue-faced baboons

have some explanation

for this outrage.

You stupid fool.

Why? What have I done?

What have you... Ah, ah.

I have an idea.

Now, remember, we are supposed

to be English gentlemen.

So let us try and behave

like English gentlemen.

So open the door.

Caracatacacus Potts. Inventor.

Typical English eccentric.

That must be the inventor.

Pardon me for protruding,

but have I the pleasure of

addressing Herr... Mr Potts?

Yes, that's me. What do you want?

You selling something?

I don't want nothing. Excuse me.

I'm off to Africa.

Africa.

That was a ruse to put

us off the scent.

- I know where he has gone.

- Where? Where?

He has gone into his laboratory.

Quick. The portable

wireless transmitter.

This is X speaking.

- Schrecks?

- No. X.

- Lecks?

- X, as in...

- Eggs and bacon.

- Eggs and ba...

Send transport immediately.

It's here. It's here.

Quickly. Quickly.

No, Sherman. That way.

That way. Ow.

Quickly. This way. Quickly.

Lower the ladder.

Get up the ladder.

Quickly. Get up.

Quickly. Up. Take it up. Up. Up.

Now over here. Up. Up.

Wait for me.

God.

Hello. What's your game, then?

What's going on? Oi, I'm flying.

- Look.

- What's that?

It's a big balloon.

It's a Zeppelin.

What's that underneath?

That's... That's Grandpa's hut.

But what's it doing up there?

Well, I don't know.

Help me. Caractacus, my

boy. I'm being kidnapped.

Grandpa, what do you think you're

doing? You come down here.

Caractacus. My boy, it's

me, your own father.

Caractacus. They're not

getting away with that.

Grandpa. Hold tight, back there.

- Sit down, Jeremy.

- Quickly, Daddy, quickly.

Hurry, Daddy.

Caractacus.

Grandpa.

Hold on, Grandpa. We're coming.

Help.

Come back, Grandpa.

Hey, Grandpa, come back. What

do you think you're doing?

I'm being abducted by

foreigners. Caractacus.

Hey.

Grandpa.

Faster, Daddy, faster.

Where do they think they're going?

Look out.

Daddy. Daddy.

Daddy.

What's happening?

Look. Look at that.

It's fantastic.

You're a genius.

It's nothing, really.

Look. There they are.

Come on, Daddy, after them.

Right, we'll catch them up.

Oh, we've lost them.

We'll find them, all right.

But what about Grandpa?

Don't worry about Grandpa. Grandpa

can take care of himself.

♪ This is living, this is style ♪

♪ This is elegance by the mile ♪

♪ Oh, the posh, posh

travelling life ♪

♪ The travelling life for me ♪

♪ First cabin and captain's

table regal company ♪

♪ Whenever I'm bored, I travel

abroad but ever so properly ♪

♪ Port out, starboard home ♪

♪ Posh with a capital

P-O-S-H, posh ♪

We're losing height.

Jettison ballast.

♪ The hands that

hold the sceptres ♪

♪ Every head that holds a crown ♪

♪ They'll always give

their all for me ♪

♪ They'll never let me down ♪

♪ I'm on my way to far away ♪

♪ Ta-ta and toodle-loo ♪

♪ And fare thee well and bon

voyage arrivederci too ♪

♪ Oh, the posh, posh

travelling life ♪

♪ The travelling life for me ♪

♪ First cabin and captain's

table regal company ♪

♪ Pardon the dust of

the upper crust ♪

♪ Fetch us a cup of tea ♪

♪ Port out, starboard home ♪

♪ Posh with a capital

P-O-S-H, posh ♪

Jettison.

♪ In every foreign strand I land ♪

♪ The royal trumpets toot me ♪

♪ The royal welcome mat is out ♪

♪ They 21-gun salute me ♪

♪ But monarchies are constantly

commanding me to call ♪

♪ Last month I missed a mufti ♪

♪ Well, you can't

oblige them all ♪

♪ Oh, the posh, posh

travelling life ♪

♪ The travelling life for me ♪

We're still losing height?

There must be something

else we can throw out.

But there's nothing

else we can throw out.

There's nothing else we...

No, no, no. No, no, no.

You just dropped someone.

I can't swim.

Come back. Come back.

Come back. Come back.

♪ Oh, the posh, posh

travelling life ♪

♪ The travelling life for me ♪

♪ First cabin and captain's

table regal company ♪

♪ When I'm at the helm ♪

♪ The world's my realm ♪

♪ And I do it stylishly ♪

♪ Port out, starboard home ♪

♪ Posh with a capital P ♪

What do we do now?

Start swimming.

I don't swim.

Then start drowning.

♪ P-O-S-H ♪

♪ P-O-S-H, posh ♪

Hello.

Where are we?

Somewhere over the

North Sea, I think.

Don't you know where we're going?

No, I don't, but Chitty does.

I think we're in

pretty good hands.

Good morning. This is

your Captain speaking.

We hope you had a pleasant trip.

In a few moments we will

be landing in Vulgaria.

- Where?

- Vulgaria.

Oh. - So, please,

fasten your seat belts.

And no smoking. Thank you.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Speed, four and a half knots, sir.

Wind, east-southeast, sir.

Brigade, attention.

Present arms.

We have a guest. Welcome him.

Jawohl, your Excellency.

Order arms.

Ah, Professor Potts.

Please, to walk this way.

Present arms.

On behalf of Her Majesty

The Queen, I'd like...

Oi.

Excuse me.

You're early.

Down the table and in the pocket.

Cheat, cheat, cheat.

Ah, Professor Potts.

Professor?

Vulgaria welcomes the

brilliant Professor Potts,

inventor extraordinaire.

Excuse me, sir. There seems

to be some sort of mistake.

What?

You are not Professor

Potts, the inventor?

Well, I... Executioner.

Executioner.

What would you like

me to invent, sir?

I will show you. My horse.

Get the horse for his Excellency.

Giddy-up.

How proud you look

on that fine horse.

The most beautiful toy you

ever bought me, my darling.

But who is this?

This is Professor

Potts from England.

How do you do, madam?

And I think we have

a surprise for you.

Herr Professor, come on.

Well, what do you

think, professor?

Everything you need. And these

will be your assistants.

And here, this is

the Baronial car.

Can you make this car float?

Float? Like amphibial

English moty car,

float over the cresty

wave of the water.

Yes, sir, but you see, it's not

that easy without my laboratory.

Oh, I have already

thought of that.

Here is your lavatory.

If you succeed in

making the car float,

I will make you privy councillor.

But if you fail,

I will stuff your head with

sauerkraut and feed

you to the dogs.

Feedy dorribles, snarly horribold.

You have got 24 hours.

Twenty-four hours and

worky nosy grindstone.

Proper card he is.

Odd sense of humour. Stuff

me head with sauerkraut.

The Baron never makes jokes.

Look at us. We've been

here for years and years.

I came here to repair

the telephone.

That was 24 years ago.

They have terrible tortures.

The thumbscrew and rack.

They stretch you and stretch you.

When I first came

here, I was a midget.

Come on. Me? Floating car?

Well, that's impossible.

Nothing's impossible.

Now, that's what my

son's always saying.

We'll help you, won't we, lads?

Nil desperandum. We'll

succeed. You'll see.

Courage, man, courage.

♪ Every bursted

bubble has a glory ♪

♪ Each abysmal failure

makes a point ♪

♪ Every glowing path

that goes astray ♪

♪ Shows you how to

find a better way ♪

♪ So every time you

stumble, never grumble ♪

♪ Next time you'll

bumble even less ♪

♪ For up from the ashes ♪

♪ Up from the ashes ♪

♪ Grow the roses of success ♪

♪ Grow the roses ♪

♪ Grow the roses of success ♪

Oh, yes.

♪ Grow the roses ♪

♪ Those rosy roses ♪

♪ From the ashes of disaster

grow the roses of success ♪

Yes. I know, but he

wants it to float.

It will.

♪ For every big mistake

you make be grateful ♪

Hear, hear.

♪ That mistake you'll

never make again ♪

♪ No, sir ♪

♪ Every shiny dream

that fades and dies ♪

♪ Generates the steam

for two more tries ♪

♪ There's magic in the

wake of a fiasco ♪

Correct.

♪ It gives you that

chance to second guess ♪

Oh, yes.

♪ Then up from the ashes ♪

♪ Up from the ashes ♪

♪ Grow the roses of success ♪

♪ Grow the roses grow the roses ♪

♪ Grow the roses of success ♪

♪ Grow the roses

those rosy roses ♪

♪ From the ashes of disaster

grow the roses of success ♪

♪ Disaster didn't

stymie Louis Pasteur ♪

♪ No, sir ♪

♪ Edison took years

to see the light ♪

♪ Right ♪

♪ Alexander Graham

knew failure well ♪

♪ He took a lot of knocks

to ring that bell ♪

♪ So when it gets distressing,

it's a blessing ♪

♪ Onward and upward

you must press ♪

♪ Yes, yes ♪

♪ Till up from the ashes

up from the ashes ♪

♪ Grow the roses of success ♪

♪ Grow the roses ♪

♪ Grow the roses of success ♪

♪ Grow the roses ♪

♪ Those rosy roses ♪

♪ From the ashes of disaster ♪

♪ Grow the roses of success ♪

- Start the engine.

- Success.

- Batten the hatches.

- Success.

Man the shrouds.

Lift the anchor.

Success.

Oh, Daddy, we'll never find him.

We must keep looking.

Look, look. What's

that down there?

Let's have a look.

Look.

The Zeppelin.

We've found Grandpa.

No, not yet, we haven't.

What's that?

- No, no, no. What's happening?

- Remarkable.

Your Excellency. Your Excellency.

We're being attacked.

Attacked?

Attacked.

That was that terrible Bomburst.

It certainly was.

Where are they going? Where did

they go? Look, it's a car.

Look, that car's flying.

Floating in the heavenly

abode, four peoplebodes.

There they are.

- Fire.

- What's the matter with you?

Do you want to destroy

my beautiful car?

They're firing at us.

Children. There are

children up there.

Children.

We'd better get away from here.

Now, hang on, everybody.

We're coming in to land.

Your Excellency, it's

landing in the village.

In the village.

Call out the guards.

Everybody, charge.

And call out the child catcher.

Charge.

Charge. Charge.

Let me in.

Hooray. We've landed. Hooray.

We've landed. Hooray. Hooray.

Isn't Chitty wonderful?

Aren't you clever, Daddy?

Yes, he certainly is.

All right. You all stay here.

I'm going up to that castle.

We want to come, too.

We want to help you find Grandpa.

Don't you think we ought

to stay together?

Maybe you're right. All

right, come along.

Come on, children.

I wonder where we are.

I don't know.

Come on.

Pardon me, sir. The castle?

What's the matter with him?

Come on.

What are they staring at?

I don't know.

It seems to be the children.

What's the matter with them?

Haven't they seen children before?

Haven't you noticed? There

aren't any children.

Not one.

What's going on? What's happening?

What's... Hey, you. What's

happening? What's going on?

- What is it?

- Soldiers. Soldiers.

Hey, you there.

Get those children in here.

Would you mind telling

me what's happening?

Quickly, before the

soldiers get here.

- Soldiers?

- Come, Fräulein.

Quickly, quickly. Get inside.

Just a minute. Would somebody

- mind telling me what's going on?

- Please don't talk.

We must get those

children out of sight.

Jeremy.

If the soldiers find them,

they will take them away.

But why? What for?

It's the law.

Nobody's allowed to have

children in Vulgaria.

Not allowed? What

about these toys?

The Baroness, she hates children.

Who could hate children?

Quickly, down there.

Whatever you do,

don't make a sound.

I want every house in this square

to be searched from top to bottom.

Jawohl, Captain.

The first section, step out

over there and search.

The second section, over

there and search. Quick.

Section three, over

there. Quick. Search.

Search everywhere.

Giddy-up. Giddy-up.

There are children here somewhere.

I can smell them.

Captain, I think we've got them.

Lieutenant. You two men,

break down this door.

- Quick. Quick.

- Yes, sir.

Get this door open. Quickly.

All right. I'm coming. I'm

coming. Open the door.

Break the door down. Quickly.

You have no right to come

into here. You've no right.

Search the place. Search. Search.

They are here somewhere. I

can feel it in my bones.

There are children here somewhere.

Children? In the toy

shop? Such a notion.

I mean... What do you

think you're doing?

That's something special

for the Baron's birthday.

Let me tell you, toymaker.

This nose of mine has

never failed me,

and if there are children

here, my friend,

you will die.

Quick. Open it up. Get down

there and search the cellar.

The Baroness will have

your teeth for a necklace

and your eyeballs for earrings.

Nobody down here, sir.

Fool. Idiot. Out of my way.

You have to know where to look.

Like cockroaches, they

get under the floors,

in the cracks in the

walls, in the woodwork.

I don't trust a man who makes toys

in a land where

children are forbidden.

Every toy I make is exclusively

for his Excellency, the Baron.

Captain, Captain, the flying car.

We've captured the flying car.

Come on. Let's go.

Take this car to the castle.

They can't take Chitty, Daddy.

Daddy, do something.

They can't take Chitty away.

What are you going to do?

Well, I don't know, but I'm

not just gonna stand here.

Are you mad?

Are you going to take on the whole

Vulgarian Army single-handed?

What kind of a country

is this? No children.

Everybody terrified

out of their lives.

My friend, take some good advice.

Take your children and your good

lady and get out of Vulgaria.

And leave Grandpa

up in the castle?

Oh, no. We came to get him out,

that's what we're gonna do.

Just tell me how to get there.

Look, I'm only a toymaker.

And if I don't finish this in time

for the Baron's birthday tomorrow,

I shall be a dead toymaker.

All right. I'll go myself. Truly,

you stay here with the children.

All right. All right.

You don't know what you're letting

yourself in for, believe me.

- Here's one for you, one for you.

- Thank you.

Thank you, toymaker.

Keep them out of sight, please.

You be good children. And you

do what Truly tells you.

Yes, Daddy. We will.

Well, are you coming?

Come.

Quickly, quickly, quickly.

There isn't a scrap

of food in the place.

I'm so hungry, my tummy hurts.

Mine's making funny noises.

I simply must find

something for you.

Now, if you promise me not to move

from here until I come back...

- We promise, don't we, Jemima?

- Yes.

Now, you remember,

you stay right here.

To get in that way, you

would have to be a mouse

or a magician.

We should go down now

before a sentry sees us.

Come. Come.

Ah, the flying car.

At last it's mine.

Send for the inventor.

Then, fly.

Fly. Yes, fly.

Come on, fly.

Fly, fly, fly. Oh.

I command you to fly.

- Bring him over here.

- Over here.

Hello. What's this doing here?

You're the inventor.

Make this car fly.

- Make it fly.

- Go get in.

Stand back, everyone. We are

going to fly. Stand back.

Yoo-hoo, Bombie. Wait for me.

No, every time I want to have

a little fun, she turns up.

There you are. Get in. My

darling, we're going for a fly.

How exciting. Fly. How thrilling.

Very well. Come on. Hurry up.

Yes, yes, I'm doing my best, sir.

Now just a minute. Here's one

that we haven't tried yet.

Here we go, my beloved.

Hold on.

Isn't it exciting, my dear?

You're a genius. My

guns. Bring my guns.

Don't worry. I'll get you down.

I've been waiting for this for

20 years. Hold on, my love.

Are you still there,

my love? Don't move.

There she is, Your Excellency.

Oh. Oh. My God. My diamonds.

Are you all right, my dear?

I'm all right, my dumpling.

Good.

Never mind. I'll get

her the next time.

Here we are, children. Come

and get your lollipops.

Lollipops. Come along,

my little ones.

Lollipops.

Ice cream, chocolate,

all free today.

Listen.

Come along, children. Lollipops.

What's that?

Children, where are you?

I know you're here somewhere.

I've lots of lovely

goodies for you.

Jeremy, you mustn't.

Lollipops.

And all free today.

Cherry pies. Cream puffs.

Ice cream. Treacle tarts.

Treacle tarts.

And ice creams.

And all free.

Come along, kiddie-winkies.

Come on.

But, Jeremy, Truly

said we mustn't...

We'll get Truly some

as well. Come on.

Mr Man.

Hey. Wait.

Children. Come back here.

Wait. Wait.

Come along, my little dears,

my little mice. Come to me.

What will it be? Ice cream?

Yes, ice cream.

Strawberry, chocolate, vanilla?

Strawberry. Chocolate.

It's all inside. Yes, strawberry.

Come along, my little dears.

Goodie. Come on. Yes.

Come inside. Not a penny

to pay. Yes, come on.

Get in. Go inside,

my little dears.

No. Help, help. Help.

Help. Help.

Children. Children.

Truly.

Help. Help. Help. Help.

What is it? What's happened?

The children. He

took the children.

Your Excellency.

Let us out. Let us out.

Silence.

Children, Your Highness.

Foreign children.

Unique specimens.

You're sure they can't get out?

No, Your Highness.

Perhaps Your Highness would

care to examine them.

Nasty little creatures.

Very, very treacherous.

Foreign.

Just you wait till our

daddy hears about this.

He'll come and blow

up the whole castle.

Take them away to the tower.

To the tower.

Nasty, horrid, mean old lady.

And very ugly.

Oh, she's going. She's going.

Two hundred feet above us

through that solid rock

is the castle of Baron Bomburst.

These are our children.

For 12 years, we have hidden

them here. Look at them.

They don't know what

a tree looks like

or what it is to run or

to laugh in the sunshine.

Do you?

Food. Get the food here.

Come on. There's

bread for everyone.

Look at them. Like little rats,

they run up and down the sewers,

stealing food from the kitchens.

Potatoes. Here, catch.

Son. Son.

I'm looking for my children.

I think they're up there in the

castle with their grandfather.

Have you seen anything of them?

No, sir.

A little boy and girl? Yes.

They're locked up in the tower.

And the grandfather?

He's in the dungeon

under the castle.

Sir, have you come to help us?

Are you going to

take us out of here?

What's your name, son?

Peter, sir.

Well, Peter, you

shouldn't be afraid,

even in a terrible

place like this,

because there's always hope.

That's what I always tell my

children when they're afraid.

♪ A gentle breeze ♪

♪ From Hushabye Mountain ♪

♪ Softly blows o'er Lullaby Bay ♪

♪ It fills the sails of

boats that are waiting ♪

♪ Waiting to sail ♪

♪ So close your eyes ♪

♪ On Hushabye Mountain ♪

♪ Wave goodbye ♪

♪ To cares of the day ♪

♪ And watch your boat ♪

♪ From Hushabye Mountain ♪

♪ Sail far away ♪

♪ From Lullaby Bay ♪

Is that the only advice you

have to offer, my friend?

It's a beautiful

dream, Caractacus,

but I don't see how

it's gonna help them.

You know what we're

gonna do? We're

gonna get up into that castle.

It is impossible.

Well, we'll see. Now,

everybody listen to me.

You want to get out

of here, don't you?

Yes. Yes.

Tomorrow is Baron

Bomburst's birthday, yes?

Well, we're gonna give him a

birthday party he'll never forget.

I want everybody to gather

around here. I have an idea.

Yes, come in closer.

All right, quiet.

♪ Happy birthday to me ♪

♪ Happy birthday to me ♪

♪ Happy birthday, dear Bombie ♪

Don't move. What a picture.

Such memories it brings back.

My little dumpling.

♪ You're my little chu-chi face ♪

♪ My coot-chi, coot-chi

woot-chi little chu-chi face ♪

♪ Every time I look at you ♪

♪ I sigh ♪

♪ And you're my

little teddy bear ♪

♪ My lovey lovey dovey

little teddy bear ♪

♪ You're the Apfelstrudel

of mein eye ♪

♪ Your chu-chi woot-chi nose ♪

♪ Your chu-chi woot-chi eyes ♪

♪ They set my heart aflutter ♪

♪ Your oot-chi, coot-chi ways ♪

♪ Your oot-chi, coot-chi gaze ♪

♪ Wilts me down like

melting butter ♪

♪ You're my little chu-chi face ♪

♪ And you're my teddy bear ♪

♪ Together we're a chu-chi,

woot-chi, oot-chi, coot-chi pair ♪

♪ Whatever you may ask

becomes my happy task ♪

♪ I only live to serve you ♪

♪ I never will divine what

magic made you mine ♪

♪ I only know I

don't deserve you ♪

♪ You're my little chu-chi face ♪

♪ And you're my teddy bear ♪

♪ Together we're a chu-chi,

woot-chi, oot-chi, coot-chi ♪

♪ Chu-chi Woot-chi ♪

♪ Oot-chi Coot-chi ♪

♪ Chu-chi, woot-chi,

oot-chi, coot-chi pair ♪

Oh, what a rotten birthday party.

Never mind, my little Bombie.

I have a surprise for you.

Surprises? Oh, I love surprises.

Sit down quickly.

Summon the toymaker.

Come on. Come on. Hurry

up. Don't waste time.

Your Excellency, may I

be permitted to wish you

all you wish yourself

on this happy occasion.

Never mind all that. What have

you made me for my birthday?

What have I made you? Such a toy.

Such a work of

mechanical perfection.

Well, well, well, where

is it? Bring it in.

Right away. I'll

just get it for you.

Bring in the Baron's

birthday present.

Here, here, here.

This year, Your Excellency, I

have surpassed even myself.

Put it down there.

Careful. Careful with it.

For months, I have been

working night and day

perfecting every little detail

to bring you this.

Dolls? Dolls?

I have hundreds of dolls.

No dolls.

But this is not just an

ordinary doll, Your Excellency.

You see?

♪ What do you see? ♪

♪ You people gazing at me ♪

♪ You see a doll on a music box ♪

♪ That's wound by a key ♪

♪ How can you tell ♪

♪ I'm under a spell? ♪

♪ I'm waiting for

love's first kiss ♪

♪ You cannot see ♪

♪ How much I long to be free ♪

♪ Turning around on

this music box ♪

♪ That's wound by a key ♪

♪ Yearning ♪

♪ While ♪

♪ I'm ♪

♪ Turning around and around ♪

♪ What do you see?

Truly Scrumptious ♪

♪ You people gazing at me ♪

♪ You're truly,

Truly Scrumptious ♪

♪ You see a doll on a

music box Scrumptious ♪

♪ That's wound by a key ♪

♪ How can you tell ♪

♪ I'm under a spell? ♪

♪ I'm waiting for

love's first kiss ♪

♪ Honest, Truly ♪

♪ You're the answer to my wishes ♪

♪ You cannot see

Truly Scrumptious ♪

♪ How much I long to be free ♪

♪ Though I may seem presumptuous ♪

♪ Turning around on

this music box ♪

♪ That's wound by a key ♪

♪ Yearning My heart

beats so unruly ♪

♪ Yearning Because

I love you truly ♪

♪ While I'm Honest, Truly ♪

♪ I do Turning around and around ♪

Just a minute.

Oh, I'm so happy, I

could jump for joy.

Come on.

Follow me.

Children. No. No.

No. No.

No.

Let me down.

Call out the cavalry.

Let me down.

- Jeremy.

- Jemima.

Jeremy.

They could be anywhere.

You look down that

way. I'll go this way.

Jeremy. Jemima.

Jeremy and Jemima.

Jeremy. Jemima.

It's Truly. Truly. We're in here.

Don't worry. We'll get you

out of here in a minute.

Here. Here, quick.

Quick, they're in there.

Children, are you all right?

Get us out of here.

We found them. They're

in there. Come

on. Help me break the door down.

Children, get away from the door.

- Children.

- Daddy. Daddy. Daddy.

Let me down.

My Liebchen, are you hurt?

My back is broken.

We must escape

through the cellars.

Very well. Come on.

Come on.

Daddy, look at the children.

You stay here.

Daddy. What are you doing?

Where are all these

children coming from?

I thought we had passed

a law against children.

Quick. This way.

Where are we going?

Quickly. We'll go down here.

No, no. I'll get my clothes dirty.

Don't argue.

Oh, my crown. I lost my crown.

Oh, never mind, my little pumpkin.

Here.

Attack.

No. Daddy.

Look. There's Chitty.

Chitty's come to save us. Hooray.

Hello, a motorcar.

What's that doing here?

There's Grandpa. Grandpa.

Caractacus. My boy.

Are you all right?

Stand back from the

propellers. Keep clear.

Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

And so, after that, Vulgaria

became a free country,

and all the children laughed

and played in the sunshine,

and they were very, very happy.

And Chitty flew high

over the mountains

back to England, everybody

safe and sound.

And Daddy and Truly were married.

And lived happily ever after.

Yes.

Is that how the story ends?

It's getting late.

We better get back.

Well...

Goodbye, Jeremy. Goodbye, Jemima.

Goodbye, Truly. Will

we see you again?

Oh, I expect so. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Truly.

I'm sorry about the children. I

hope they didn't embarrass you.

In what way?

Why, that silly joke about

us getting married.

Well, you know what kids are like.

Yes, I understand.

I mean, I don't think they realise

how ridiculous that would be.

Ridiculous?

Well, yes. You live

in that big house,

your father, the factory and all.

It's a different world, Truly.

You know, if I said something

like that, you'd call me a snob.

- I didn't mean...

- Goodbye.

Well, don't you want

to ride up front?

Well, that was a fine

picnic, wasn't it?

Shall we have another

one tomorrow?

With Truly? Yes.

Well, Miss Scrumptious has a lot

of social engagements, you know.

Are we ever going to see

Truly again, Daddy?

Well, we'll see.

Look, that's Lord

Scrumptious' car.

Why, I believe it is.

I wonder what it's doing here.

Well, I don't know.

Come on.

Excuse me. Good afternoon.

Are you...

Boom. Boom. Boom.

That's wiped out

your dashed cavalry.

Yes, sir.

But I have my 2nd

Infantry battalion

attacking here from the rear.

Attacking from the rear?

That's dashed unethical.

Artillery, prepare to open fire.

Fire.

Number one battalion,

prepare to advance.

What's going on here?

There you are, young Potts.

Been waiting for you.

And that wiped out your artillery.

You're a cad, Potts.

Would someone mind telling

me what's going on?

Fancy you being old Bungie's son.

Bungie?

Bungie Potts, best

batman I ever had.

- Weren't you, Potts?

- Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

- You mean that you were...

- My boy.

Allow me to introduce

to you my Brigadier.

- Your Brigadier?

- Potts...

- How about some more tea?

- Yes, sir. Right away, sir.

As for you, young

man, there's a very

good chance you may be very rich.

Very rich? What do you mean?

Those confounded sweets of yours.

Useless for humans,

wonderful for dogs.

Woof Sweets, that's

what we'll call them.

Woof Sweets?

Canine candies. Dogs love

them. Make a fortune.

Daddy, Daddy. You've

done it, Daddy.

- You've done it.

- Have I?

It's the posh life for

us all now, my boy.

We're all going to

be rich. Hooray.

Do you mean to tell me I invented

something that actually works?

Of course they do.

Wouldn't be offering

you a contract unless they did.

Sign here, please.

Wait. Don't go away.

I'll be right back.

What about the contract?

But, Daddy, where are you going?

Daddy.

What's the matter with the fellow?

Well, he's a bit of

an eccentric, sir,

a genius, of course, but

definitely an eccentric.

Can't imagine where

he gets it from.

Truly, you'll never believe it.

- I just got home...

- This is beginning to be...

- And your father was at my house.

- A hazard.

I know. I know. They

told me at the house.

We're rich.

You know, more than

that, I have succeeded.

I always knew you would.

You know something else?

The kids were right.

There's nothing so

ridiculous about

the idea of getting married.

Well, whoever said there was?

Well, Mr Potts.

What's the matter?

Now you'll have to marry me.

So dreams can come true.

Yes, they can.

Yes, they can, but you

have to be practical, too.

You have to face the facts.

Man has to see things

as they really are.

After all, a man with

responsibilities

can't walk around with his head

in the clouds all the time.

A man should keep his feet

solidly on the ground.

Oh, a man should have his dreams

but a man has to

learn to put those

dreams to some practical use,

not just sit around and think

about them all the time.

♪ Oh, you, pretty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Chitty Chitty bang

bang, we love you ♪

♪ And our pretty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Chitty Chitty bang

bang loves us too ♪

♪ High, low, anywhere we go ♪

♪ On Chitty Chitty we depend ♪

♪ Bang bang, Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Our fine four-fendered friend ♪

♪ Bang bang, Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Our fine four-fendered friend ♪

♪ It's uncategorical ♪

♪ A fuel-burning oracle ♪

♪ A phantasmagorical machine ♪

♪ It's more than spectacular ♪

♪ To use the vernacular ♪

♪ It's wizard it's smashing ♪

♪ It's keen ♪

♪ Oh, Chitty, you Chitty

pretty Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Chitty Chitty bang

bang, we love you ♪

♪ And Chitty, in Chitty

pretty Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Chitty Chitty bang

bang, what we'll do ♪

♪ Near, Chitty, far,

Chitty, in our motorcar ♪

♪ Oh, what a happy

time we'll spend ♪

♪ Bang bang, Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Our fine four-fendered friend ♪

♪ Bang bang, Chitty

Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Our fine four-fendered friend ♪

♪ Chitty Chitty bang bang

Chitty Chitty bang bang ♪

♪ Fine four-fendered

Chitty Chitty friend ♪