Chasing Unicorns (2019) - full transcript

I'm now a highly educated CFO

and I would like to be treated
with more respect.

Congratulations.-Thank you.

We'll increase my salary

like we agreed,yes?

I'll pay myself 10 percent more.

If you could sign here.

Öie, we can’t afford a raise.

Are you joking? We had a deal.

I do the excel spreadsheets myself.

I know that we have money.



I don't care about the spreadsheets,

we're losing clients.

Every time those Orientals
lower their prices'

some Svensson leaves.

Exactly and that's what
I wanted to talk about.

These are the competition's products.

And this is ours.

We should think about
our design a little.

I made a sketch. I know I'm
not much of an artist.

A designer would make
a better one, but...

What do you think?

We don't have the resources
to make new products.

Don't have the resources.

SPEAKERS -€ 40000



Government doesn't help
manufacturing in anyway.

We're doing all we can, Öie.

The raise,Aadu, we had a deal.

We can’t afford that.

Although...there is a way.

You’re a nice girl, Öie.

A nice girl...

But you could be so much nicer.

Much, much nicer...

We invested 300000
Euros 8 months ago.

And now you're saying it's all gone.

It's not all gone.We hired 12 engineers,
we localised the app in 22 languages.

Mhm and how many users?

Users is not a metric
we are focusing on.

At this early stage, we need
to build a scalable platform.

And how many users?
- 68 sign ups.

68?
- Eeh,yes.

And out of those, how
many are paying users?

That's why we need more money.

To hire sales and marketing
functions.

I think 500 000 would be enough.

What the hell is this shit?

Who bought beer with the
company credit card?

We had a summer event.

I had to motivate the
employees somehow.

You have 62 users and zero revenue.
- 68...

How about motivating

the investors for a change?

Focusing on monetization

at seed stage is the dumbest
thing we could do.

What is this for? To
motivate the dog?

It's not a dog.

It's our Chief Happiness Officer.

Chief what?

Chief Happiness Officer. Aren't you?

Have you ever run a business?

Yeah, I'm the founder
of four startups...

Have you ever run a business?

Do you even understand
what that word means?

Yes I do. - Damn it, shut up.

My head is going to explode

and we'll all be covered in blood.

You need to notify the employees.

The phone comes with us,
it's company property.

The dog comes with us as
well. - What do you mean?

Fed on company money,
company property.

Tönu, you're the best programmer
that I know.

But please don't start
any more companies.

For Tönu startups are like Doom.

His favourite computer game.

In Doom you fight, you die

and you start over
from the beginning.

You fight, you die
and you start over.

You fight, you die
and you start over.

I became his co-player in this game.

Öie, for heaven's sake,

where are you off to like
this alone again?

You could talk to Aadu.
You could get a raise.

Mommy, I'm not going back there.

I'm only going forward.

Where are you even going to live?

At a classmate's place.

At Üllar's place. Mommy,
put away your...

I don't eat pumpkin.

What are you even going
to do? - Work.

Please don't worry, please.

I will manage.

US TECHNOLOGY GIANT BOUGHT ROCKET WISE

FOP A BILLION DOLLARS

It's definitely a court case.

You can't leave it like this.

I can take this on myself.

Üllar, no. He's there,
I'm here and that's it.

Understood.

Our accountant is taking child leave.

Would you be interested?
- In a job? Of course.

Super. I'll see what I can do.

Maybe I can get you
in for an interview.

Listen...

What do you think about this?

Nothing comes out of
those hackathons.

Honestly, if someone tells me that

they're working on an app,

it's as good as me saying
I do gangsta rap.

In a word, they're making
complete crap.

Better go to the zoo.

How can something that
doesn't really exist

be worth a billion dollars?

Are you ready? I said,
are you fucking ready?

You all rock! Welcome to Pocket 48!

I had already lost my job.

What else was there to lose?

Decentralized Ethereum blockchain,

which means that we can
guarantee 100 percent uptime.

And no third party interference.

I'm looking for developers
to join the team.

Okay, well done. Who's next?

Soon, we will colonize
Mars. It's a fact.

But there's a huge problem.

How the fuck are we going to
have sex in low gravity?

Every thrust propels your partner
in the opposite direction.

And no fornication means
no colonization.

So if you want to save the future
of the human race, join our team!

Who's next?
-We build marketplace.

Everyone can buy only
best quality of marijuana.

If you like marketplace,
if you like marijuana,

together we build future
of marijuana!

Is that even legal? - We don't sell
marijuana, we just build marketplace.

Everyone here is either a mad genius

or just mad.

I wasn't either of those.

But Tönu, he was probably both.

He was running late.

You are approved.

Wearing a newt-shirt,

nervous and slurping
a blueberry smoothie.

He had to leave a good impression.

And that's how we met.

Rock on!!

Look at where you're going!

Watch where you're running!

Let me guess, you're
from the countryside

and not used to city traffic?

Let me guess, you're from
your mother's apartment

and not used to daylight?

Oh look, you've got something
on your face.

Were you doing a mud mask?

I'm a bitch?

Co pedal that thing back
to the countryside...

Co pedal that thing back
to the countryside...

Going back was a mistake.

Approved, if you can stay
the fuckout of jail.

Well, well, well. Seems
like we're done here.

Come on guys, I have a killer idea.

STARTUP IN STEALTH MODE

Killer or suicidal like your last one?
- Come on, guys!

Doesn't anyone want to
be part of my unicorn?

This guy will go bankrupt again.

And that's how it happened.

Wait, wait, listen!

All the teams are already full,

but mine has still has space.

Come, let's build something
cool together.

What?

I'm using the deep learning
AI algorithms

and augmented reality.

Actually I haven't completely
figured it out yet.

You haven't figured it out yet?

Yeah, we're in stealth mode.

Don't worry about it,

but it's going to be a rocket.

Tönu, the best programmer
in the world.

Öie, and I'm not interested.

You wouldn't be here

if you weren't interested.

Do you know why we have so many

fatal bicycle accidents in Estonia?

Because Estonians don't wear helmets.

Why don't they wear helmets?

Because the helmets
are ugly. Hold this.

What if we built Estonia's first

pretty bicycle helmet?

I like it, you're approved.
Screw it, let's do it!

What?

Öie and Tönu, great job!

You showed everybody that it's possible
to build something real in 48 hours.

Next up the team that
solved sex on Mars.

Hey listen, wait.

Where are you going? - It was fun.

What do you mean,

tomorrow we'll pitch it to Kuusela.

Pitch it? What's that... Ah, no.

You can pitch it,

I've got a job interview tomorrow.

Don't you get it? - Get what?

I'm on the blacklist.

I mean, it's easy in Silicon Valley.

If you fail, it's nothing,
you just try again.

If you screw something up
in Estonia' that's it.

Nobody trusts you anymore.

Of course no one trusts you,

if you keep going bankrupt
all the time.

Listen, that's what startups
are all about.

You try, you fail,

you pick yourself up
again and keep going.

I've seen so many startups
in my life.

Believe me, this here...

This is the most promising thing

that has ever came
out of a hackathon.

Honestly.

A mad genius or just mad.

Please.

Tönu seemed to be just mad.

But for some inexplicable reason,

his madness excited me.

Oh, alright, let's pitch it!

Mmm, bikedrive.

Bikedrive?

That's brilliant, it's like...

I was only joking.

That's the one, Bikedrive.
Listen, order the logo.

What's the valuation of our company?

What valuation?

What is our company worth?

Design was 5 Euros.

The 3D-print was 32. 48 hours
of work.

I'd say about 200 Euros.

Greetings, Riivo Kuusela,
angel investor.

I'm listening.

The company name is Bikedrive.

Bikedrive.

That sounds pretty cool.
What's your valuation?

To hundred... - 500000 Euros.

It's pretty cool,

I need to go,

to get my girlfriend's dead parrot

to the taxidermist with
an ice-cream truck.

To Paris, see you.

Where did you get 500000 Euros?

Wait, I don't get it.

Design was 5 Euros, 3D-print was 32.

Work hours, okay, I can
include bus tickets'

I can add... water, two
times 0,5 liters.

I don't get where you
got 500000 from'

because I can't get more than 200.

Intellectual property.
- I don't get it.

I really don't get it.

It's intellectual property.

What's intellectual property?

Me.

Okay, I could include the
cost of the papers...

In Tönu's world, making
a startup is like

levels in Doom.

The first level - idea.

I haven't completely
figured it out yet.

You don't have to worry about it,

but it's going to be a rocket.

Second - prototype.

Third - investors.

500000 Euros.

Fourth - big investors, big money.

And the fifth level - exit.

That means selling your company

to a bigger company.
For a lot of money.

Or in Tönu's case,

losing everything.
- Company property.

What do you mean?

Fed with company money,
company property.

We had reached level three.

Tönu's goal was

to find us an investor at any cost.

Did you know that wearing a helmet

makes cycling more dangerous?

Yeah, it's true. UK scientists
have determined

that drivers give cyclists
with helmets

far less space.

The helmet makes cyclists

feel immortal.

What’s this thing? - An app.

Kuusela said that we need some kind

of technological quirk.

And you made an app? -Yes, wait.

Look at this!

Tönu!

It works.

It works. Let's make
a pivot. A pivot.

SCREWED

Tönu was definitely mad.

We agreed that I'll pitch my helmet

and he'll pitch his app.

We'll go with the idea

that investors are willing to back.

Like all cars have parking sensors,

in the future all bicycles
will be self-braking.

Tönu and I want to produce

the prettiest bicycle
helmets in Estonia.

And we need a loan for that.

A few tickets are still
left. Are you in?

Look Tönu, startups are like a train

leaving the station.

Me, the investor, will
jog along with it.

And when I can no longer keep up,

I'll jump aboard.

But if the train is too slow,

the investor will find
a new' faster train.

Okay, in this case

we need your business plan.

A cash flow forecast for 5 years
and your budget.

How much money are you
putting in yourself?

Our valuation is two million.

What? -Two million.

Are you joking?

Are you here to con yourselves

or did you come to con me?

In two years time, all bikes
will be self braking.

We're raising 100k on
a two mil valuation.

Okay, I'm going to run the algorithm.

We've built an AI to make the
investment decisions.

Computer says no.

What do you think then?

What do you think then?

I just made a big investment.

Seems exciting,

but I don't have any free money.

But I can help you
with legal affairs.

Reducing my normal rate considerably.

200 Euros, per hour.

What do you think?

Send me an email.

So we're raising 100000 on
a 2 million valuation.

[speaking Finnish]

[speaking Finnish]

We typically are interested in start-ups which
have a potential at least 1 billion dollars.

Unicorns.

And this here, we have...

[speaking Finnish]

[speaking Finnish]

800 million max.
- So, this is too small for us.

I don't understand, it's
so cold. Did they leave?

I don't know, I'd rather go

begging than back to that guy.

Don't you know anyone?

I do.

I'm not going there under
any circumstance.

Oh, what a cute dog.

Very good that you're here.

Tönu, tell me, what commands
does he react to?

I've noticed that he sometimes
reacts to "sit"

and "lie down".

But "fetch" or 'run" does nothing.

Does it know how to
do anything at all?

Or is he a startup dog too?

As an educated man, you can see that

this app will disrupt your
business completely.

If you're not on board right now,

you can close your place
down in a few years.

Every journey must end at some point.

We tried and we failed.

Time to move on.

Who is Palo Alto? - What do you mean?

Literally. -What?

Palo Alto.

Oh, this?

It's not a who. It's a place.

Where? -Where? In Palo Alto.

Okay, it was fun.

Wait.

I need to use the restroom, can I...?

No, no, no.

Come on, we'll eat soon.

Sit down.

Can I help you with anything?
- No, no' no.

You're a guest, please sit down.

Öie told me that

you're good with computers.

Yes.

Tell me, what's an algo-rhythm?

An algorithm? -Yes.

It's like a sequence of commands.

It's like a recipe, like
for a pork roast.

The algorithm for a
pork roast would be:

Find a pig. Kill the pig.
Bring the pig home.

Heat up the oven. Put
the pig in the oven.

Take it out.

It's obvious that you're
an educated man.

No one has been able to
explain that to me yet.

How is your company doing?

A lot of clients?

We are pre-revenue. - Pre-what?

We don't have a turnover.

Something like that also
exists, yeah? Well well.

How do you make a profit then?

Monetization isn't our
priority right now.

We don't have a company.

We had a stupid idea

and no investor gave us money.

I'm going to a job interview

at Üllar's place tomorrow.

Why do you want to go to the city?

You could go work with
Maie in the booth.

She struggles there 24 hours a day.

All of the annual reporting.

She could really use an accountant.

Mommy, I'm not going to
work in Mate's booth.

How much money do you need

to keep making the helmets?

50k would give us
about 3 months of runway.

50k? I don't have 50k,

but I've got 2500 Euros.

Oh, super. - No. Dad, no.

My money, my decision.

This is very good.

We're not taking the money.

I don't get why you're so mad.

You should be happy, someone
believes in you.

Your family believes in you.

No one believes in me.

Do you know how long he's
been saving up for it?

It's for his anniversary.

We're not taking my family’s
last savings.

They're not savings, he's investing.

He's investing and when
we're going to be

a unicorn, he'll get it back.

It's his opportunity, not ours.

Do you want to go to
Mate's booth or what?

Where would I even live?

At Üllar's place? - No!

I've got a pretty cool
condo in Mustamae.

We can set up our office there,

we can sleep there as well.

On one condition.

You sell your car.

If my family invests
it's last savings,

you must invest something too.

Yes, yes.Thank you.

Daddy, you'll get it
all back, I promise.

Promise.

More, you'll get much much more.

This is a convertible note.

With a valuation cap of 500 000

you now own 0.5 percent
of our company.

Congratulations.

I don't understand much
about your business

but I know that you will manage.

Cool condo?

Did you bring me my medicine
from the pharmacy?

Yes, I did, it's in the fridge.

You'll rub it on me
later then, right?

Yes, yes I will grandmother.

Dear... what a surprise,Tönu.

I never thought my eyes
would see the day.

Dear.

Listen... - Welcome to the family!

Thank you Tönu, thank you, dear.

Yes, yes, dear, let's go now.

Okay.

Where do you sleep?

Here.

And where do I sleep?

I'll clean up and make some space.

The plan was simple.

Tönu will write his self-braking
bicycle code

and me, an accountant from
a small town factory'

will start selling.

That was a bad idea.

Luckily Tönu had a classmate,

who was a sales guru.

Hey Tönu!

Oh, what a cool condo.

Cool beard.

Norris. And you are? - Öie.

Hipster beard, helps me sell.

Moved into your grandma's
place with a girl' eh?

...and you know what happened then?

He bought all of it! The whole bag!

All of it! At 3 AM in
a petrol station.

No! -Yes, it was a pony. - Pony?

Pony. Don't you know what a pony is?

You know what, pony's
aren't cool anymore.

You know what's cool? - Well?

Unicorns.

You're funny.

Hey, Jeff. How are you doing
on this wonderful day?

My name is Norris, I'm the one who has
been talking to all the CEOs around here.

Excuse me?
- I guess you haven't heard about me.

Didn't Steve, Mark or... Beezo
mention I would call you?

How can I help you? - I guess you
really haven't heard about me.

Strange that they didn't
talk about me.

Tell you what...

Can you please tell me the name of
the person you wish to speak with.

Jeff. It's Jeff, your CEO.

If you want to get in touch with our company, you
need to fill out the contact form on our website.

Ah, okay, have a wonderful
day' mam.Thank you.

It's in the can!

Now you'll go to their website,
fill out the form

and ka-ching, pump out the money.

Everybody buys.

Kevin, how you doing?
My name is Norris.

I'm the one who has been talking
to all the CEOs around here.

What is that guy doing? - Sales.

Didn't you hear,

this guy is the best salesman
in the world.

It's a little different than
selling books but...

Selling books? - I mean those comics.

Wait... He sells comic
books to companies?

To housewives. - Comic
books to housewives?

Yes and not just comic books.

He's also sold pension funds

and cable TV.

And vacuum cleaners and

I think those cups or bowls as well.

Plastic ones that go
into one another.

So you basically have one bowl

and you take it out
of the cupboard...

Those ones they sell.

And the ladies get together,
start mixing things.

Tupperware.

Alright Rich, I'll have my
secretary call your secretary.

What about me? I ordered
a shirt for you.

Hey Anna, thanks for calling back.
How are you this fine morning?

Wonderful, you're the best.

By the way, I love your
hair, yes' yes.

Hello James.
- Nice to meet you.

Sorry you had to wait.
-What a lovely office you currently have.

Bathroom? don't you have some
other place? - Yes, I'm...

Yippee ki-yay.

Öie, 50 of them. 50!

Hello?

50 of them, didn't even
ask,just bought them.

James?

He didn't even ask,
he just bought them.

James?
- Ka-ching, jackpot, we're in business.

Hey, I'd like take a leak.

We needed money to make the helmets.

And now that we had
a potential client'

we were more likely to attract
investor interest.

Until Tönu screwed everything
up again.

What are you messing around with now,

what is this?

It makes the bike brake on it's own.

What's next? Self-driving bikes?

Pivot!

Let's make a pivot.

I'll add one more thing.

A few of hours of coding

and it'll drive itself.

Helmets.

Then, self-braking bikes.

And then, self-driving bikes!

Look, investor money

is like rocket fuel.

If we put it in your old car,

it will blow up.

And your powerpoint, it's like

Nigerian letter to investors.

25k. - What?

25k.

With a 500k valuation,

it'll give you a few
months of runway.

And then, whale shark hunting!

Was he joking? No?

Fix up your powerpoint.

If a whale shark sees
a soup like this,

he'll just swim away.

Wait, I don't understand,
is he in or not?

Of course he's in.

Kuusela is the kind of guy,

Who is already thinking
about the next round.

What's the next round? -VC round.

What's a VC? -Venture capitalist.

Investor, big investor,
over a million.

Where? -What do you mean, where?

Anywhere. From Palo Alto.

Wait, this is wrong.

Oh my god, could you sound
more like your mother?

What?

Öie, why are you in the city?

What is this, women
don't do business.

Why don't you have children yet, Öie?

Why aren't you married yet?

Biological clock is ticking,
tick, tick, tick.

What logos are these? - Client logos.

Did you put some random
logos here or...?

Logos of potential clients.

And who are they? -Team.

Not our team, but a team.

Like a potential team.

An example of a team.

Fake it til you make it.

Very good, let's go swimming.

Investors are like sheep.
They're herd animals.

I would like to invest 300000
euros in your company.

After Kuusela's investment,

every angel investor wanted
to give us money.

Tönu says "no".

Our sights were already elsewhere.

Venture capitalists or VC's

are the rock stars of Silicon Valley.

The biggest of them is...

Where's that limousine now?

Tom Marcusson.

When the strangest coincidence
happened.

Oh, Aadu.

Aadu, it's you!

Great timing. Can you
drop us off in town?

And then came the Russian crap

and the Swedish margins shrunk.

The government should help

the industry back on it's feet.

Industry. It's jobs, it's taxes.

But instead,

they support those damn apps.

I can't pay the lease
on my car anymore.

How are you doing, Öie? - Good.

I grew up on the crime side,
Oakland East Bay side.

Staying alive with no job.

Then I started rolling with
this one and that one.

And then I got to Sand Hill Road.

I'm not a racist, but
I hate negro music.

Was that too loud?
My ex-boyfriend'

he's got this app that allows you to
play different music at each car seat

Works great in his generation 2 Tesla
Roadster' custom designed by Elon Musk.

But it's going to take a while
with these legacy vehicles.

So guys, hit me with a
quick elevator pitch.

We are building a self-driving
bicycle.

A self-driving bicycle.

Ballsy!
- So we have a...

That's a terrible idea.

The idea of a bicycle
is that you ride it.

What's the point of a
self-driving bicycle?

It's the age old question whether something
is crazy genius or just plain crazy. Stupid.

I don't have anything
against the queers,

but I have to let you off here.

But there is thatching.

If everybody thinks that
something is amazing.

The big boys, they're going
to eat you for breakfast'

but if they think what you're doing is terrible,
you might actually be onto something.

Is the Uber guy going to
stay with us all day?

No? Okay. Listen, thanks pal. It was
a very smooth ride for a basic car.

Kuusela, make sure to
give him five stars.

It's not the Uber driver, Aadu is the captain
of Estonia's manufacturing industry.

Manufacturing, oh my gosh,
as in like making physical things?

He's an Uber driver, he just
doesn't know it yet.

Next up, our keynote speaker, the
biggest superstar of Silicon Valley.

Tom Marcusson, give a big applause!

Tom Marcusson, give a big applause!

Thank you, thank you.

Today, tomorrow and for
the rest of humanity'

economic growth will not be driven by what's
in the ground. What matters is what's in here.

And you know this better than anyone.

Your country was like any
first time founder,

you were broke, living in a dump and the
guy next door was a fucking lunatic.

But did you let that stop you?

No. Estonia has shown the world that great
companies can come from absolutely anywhere.

Marcusson hasn't had a major deal

since Facebook.

That's why he keeps coming to Europe.

The Russians are getting

all the best deals.

But every single technological
breakthrough in human history

was driven by someone who had no
clue about what they were doing. Why?

It takes someone who is naive enough
to think that it can be done'

when the whole world tells
you "it can not".

Someone who is willing to work
insane hours for a crazy dream.

A lot of these people will fail,
success is extremely rare.

Almost impossible.

It's like finding a unicorn,
a mythical creature.

That almost doesn't exist.

We need to pitch him again.

He just said that it's
the world's worst idea.

But when success does happen,
because it does.

It is absolutely magical.

And the world will never
be the same again.

Yes, Estonia.What's up people?

What's happening? My latest
with the greatest.

You ready for this?

A lot of VC's be like
first time founders.

They wouldn't see a good deal if
it was right under their noses.

But I'm so real totem, it's scary.

My unique skills, no
you can't compare me.

I'm greater than all the VC's.

When I breathe, give me room please.

And you be happy as fuck
to get a VC deal,

because valuation grows like
grass with mass appeal.

Okay, okay, let me try.

I'm not a startup-man,
I'm a startup' man!

Jay-Z, baby.

So Tom, you're ready for a true
Estonian start-up experience?

Ballsy, bring it on!

The whale shark won’t leave here

until he invests.

You want us to? - Wait, no, what...

Start pitching. -The sauna
isn't really my thing.

Do you know where the Valley guys

make the biggest deals?

In a Starbucks?

In a Starbucks? In the Nevada desert,

at Burning Man.

This here is Estonian Burning Man.

Yeah!

What?

I'm not going to get naked.

Tom!
- I'm not gonna come in there.

Where's the Valley guy now?

He's waiting for Aadu's Uber

to take him.

Oh, there we go.

Welcome.

Do you know that there are 20 times
more bicycles in the world than cars.

In developing countries most
people ride their bikes to work.

What is this, a medieval Estonian
torture technique?

Unbearable heat combined with
a bad start-up pitch?

Did he just check out
my memory stick?

What if you could answer emails...
- Or read a book.

While driving your bike to work?

Wouldn't it be super cool, Tom?

And in 5 year's time...
- All bicycles will be self-driving.

Especially in China.

Wouldn't it make sense to jump on
the ship right now? - Right, Tom.

Tom didn't jump on board,

but Kuusela had a new plan.

The whale shark has overheated,

let's cool him down and pitch again.

Tom!

Then I understood that pitching

to an investor doesn't work.

The more desperately you
try to get their money,

the less likely they are
to give it to you.

And then I figured
out what does work.

Do you remember Juri??
- Do you like marijuana?

Together we build future
of marijuana.

Major funding announcement.
- He had a big day today.

Ivan Prinz and Analog Ground Ventures
have invested 5 million euros

into Sticky Icky Icky Wise.

Ivan Prinz is a legendary
Russian investor.

Thank you, thank you, big
party this evening.

Everybody is welcome.

Let's go to that party.
- Let's go home.

You can go home, I'll
go to the party.

This was the best decision
of my career.

FOMO !

Fear Of Missing Out!

The investors, they fear
it more than death.

Tönu is sleeping.

Who was it? - A clown
in purple pants.

That was Marcusson. Marcusson!

May I?
-Yeah.

Looks and smells like a Silicon
Valley garage. I love it

Could I have a glass of water?

I didn't know you guys were a couple.
It's not a show stopper,

but if we were to invest, we'd have
to calculate your divorce risk score.

And if it's above a certain threshold,
then define break-up as a key man event.

In which case one of the founders
may have to leave.

No, no, we are not a couple.

Öie, one of the things I most
admire about you is your persistence.

It's the number one quality
I look for in a founder.

Number two, honesty.

I would like you to keep me
updated on your progress.

Suddenly the puzzle pieces

started to fit together.

No.
- Excuse me?

We just got a term sheet from
Ivan Prinz, we're going with him.

You received a term sheet from Ivan?

And what are the terms?
- I'm not feeling good' so...

How about I do one million
at 5 million valuation.

I don't mean to be rude, but...

2.5 at 10 million.

Marcusson hasn't had a big deal

since Facebook.

Fear Of Missing Out.

The Russians are winning
all the best deals.

Investors, they fear
it more than death.

Investors, they fear
it more than death.

No, I'm sorry.

5 million at 20.

Remember, I can do things
for you that Ivan can't.

I can introduce you to Mark, I can...

Level complete Venture Capital

Did we get a 5 million
dollar cash injection

just because the investors'
fear of missing out?

No. When Tönu wasn't
busy playing Doom'

he wrote a pretty clever

machine learning algorithm.

Marcusson's sharp eye noticed
Tönu's drawings

and realized that our idea
had something to it.

So, no.

Ah? - Listen.

I didn't know,

did we get an offer from
the Russians as well?

What? No.

That guy was hitting on me last night

and now he sent me his...

Wait, but how did you know...

Is that the Little Prince?

Hey, that's not a very good offer.

Denied, there's not enough
money on the account.

Let's try the company card.

I just checked, it hasn't
been transferred yet.

Then check again.

Why is it taking so long? Excuse me!

Would it be possible
to pay with options?

What are those? - We are a startup

and if we become a unicorn...

For example, Facebook's
first... - Cash or card.

Yes, I understand,

but the first janitor in
Facebook took the options

and he's a millionaire now.

Sorry, can you pay or not?

Can we? We can't, sorry.

5 million! 5 million!

One, two, three, four, five.

Turn on your stove again

we'll have all these things.

What do you want?

Could I have the card first?

Yes, you can. Give it to him.

I'd like the cheesy nachos.

Then the special, the
beef quesadilla.

The beef tacos and the
vegan tacos' okay.

I don't believe it, half an hour ago

we didn't have the money
to buy one taco.

Now we could buy 1.5 million tacos.

Or a whole taco-truck.

Yes, a whole taco truck.

What is it?

We made it, we made it, we made it.
-Yes, yes. We made it.

What? Do you really think

our company is
worth 20 million dollars?

5 million!

Want me to tell you
how much our company

is really worth?

5 million...

Yes, exactly, 5 Euros for the design,

32 Euros for the 3D
print and that's it.

Everything else is an advance

from our future profits.

Do you think I'm an idiot?

What? You try,

How don't you understand?

If you blow through 300k

of Svensson's or the
dog thief's money.

Okay, then you'll try again.

If you spend 5 million of VC money,

it's over, here or in Silicon Valley,

you're done.

Lets' get to work then.

Take my corn.

Alright, I've got news. - News?

Where? - It's in America,
in California.

We're going to go meet a big client.

I don't know what you’re thinking.

Let Tönu go, why are you going?

Mom, I'm an entrepreneur,
it's my company.

Will you be back for
dad's anniversary?

Of course I will.

We're not going swimming,
are you joking?

Nobody swims here.

Come on, take your shirt off.

Stop it, let's go to Palo Alto.

Please, it's much warmer there.

This is an ocean, lets' go swim.

Yes, I know that it's an ocean.

Look at the weather.

But there's a current there.

I'm not going anywhere, come out!

Listen, it's cold here!

Colder than in Estonia.

Are you kidding me?

This place is unbelievable.

Everyone here is either a
genius or a millionaire.

The majority is both.

And everyone is so casual about it.

You go into a random smoothie place,

order yourself a smoothie
and you'll see

Elon Musk next to you.

Slurping his avocado smoothie.

"Hi Elon' noh. 'Hi Tönu". "I like
your Tesla.", "I like your bikes."

I'll totally come live here.

The cost of living here
is ridiculous though.

But some guys are crazy clever, look.

They parked caravans next
to the main street.

They're like trailers.
They live out of them.

They pay nothing and just
park and live here.

Trailer is basically the new garage.

Ooh. - What?

Starbucks.

What? We've seen six

self-driving cars drive by

and you're like "Ooh, Starbucks".

Hello.
- Hey' hey!

It's Oie, right?Tonu? Is that?

No, I'm Tönu.
- Alright' you just walk right in.

Don't mind the shoes.

Welcome to my home, this is
everything that you too can achieve,

if you follow the same path as I.

Not long ago, I was
just like you guys.

Came to this country, a poor
immigrant, struggling to survive.

And then I sold my company
for 220 million dollars to Google.

And this is what I have to show for it.
-Very nice.

Quite amazing, isn't it?
-Yeah' yeah.

This could be exactly what you achieve too.
This could be your reality.

Do you want to see the roof?

Take it easy, you'll
break the guy's home.

This, this is my view.

What do you think?
- Amazing.

It's beautiful, isn't it.
- Yes.

Totally unbelievable.

This kind of thing for
just 100 bucks a night.

Only in the Valley.

Can we see our rooms now?
-Yes' your room is in the basement.

No, rooms, not room.
-Just room' in the basement.

Okay, cool.

Get out of my way.

Turn it on. - It's not working.

I'll turn my phone on.

What's going on?

Turns out there already
are some bags here.

What the hell?

Hey guys.

Got any weed?
- No, we don't.

Well, I do.

Did we come to San Francisco

to smoke weed and drink
coffee in Starbucks?

No. Norris, our head of sales

had arranged a meeting
with our dream client.

Ober, biggest buyer of
self-driving technology

in Silicon Valley.

It was the most important
meeting of our careers.

And we were absolutely ready for it.

Oh yeah and two new, are
you oh yeah and two new.

What? Yes.

I'm sorry, your meeting does
not exist in John's calendar.

What?
-Your meeting does not exist...

Does he want to reschedule
or...? - No.

The meeting just does not exist.

Apparently your head of sales
has made a mistake.

It's in the can!

And now you go to their website

and fill out the form...

But since you came all
the way from Estonia.

I'm giving you a 5 dollar voucher
for snacks in the downstairs bar.

Your head of sales is a peddler.

I look at your team and
I see only C players.

I need you to start hiring A
players, guys from Silicon Valley.

Guys with track records,
guys with gravity.

Gravity?

It's the force of attraction.

Like a turd, what does
it attract? - Flies.

Yes, but ice-cream?

Children?

Okay, children.

We have a turd, but we could
have an ice-cream.

Estonians are just bad at selling.

Which one of us said
that Norris was the

best salesman in the world?

Well maybe in Tallinn. Or Mustamae.

He is shit. He's the fertilizer

and better guys should
grow onto that.

It's simple here, one
guy reaches his limit

and they take the next
guy and the next.

If you keep puffing your weed here,

then the VC will hire

a local ice-cream instead of you.

What are you...

Why are you petting me?

You know what Marcusson told me?
We have to start hiring guys with gravity.

What the fuck is gravity?

What do you mean?
- Gravity.

When like an apple falls from a tree?
Like Einstein?

Or wait...
-This is gravity.

I should hire Einstein.
- Einstein' yeah.

I don't know what that means though,
how can you hire someone with gravity?

Hi, I'm Peter. I open doors
and I close deals.

What's up guys?
I made you some chocolate chip cookies.

It's my mother's recipe.
Did I spell that right?

Well, yeah...
-Just a little, okay' I'm working on it.

Now look, I'm not big into
giving long speeches.

So I'm just going to cut
to the cold hard facts.

In my last company, I took their
revenue from 200 million to 700 million.

And I know I can do the same for you.

And you know what. Because
you're a start up.

And I really like you guys.

I'm willing to work almost for free.

It's insane.

Tönu and I make 900 a month,
this guy wants 450000 a year.

Plus a 30 percent bonus.
Plus accelerated vesting.

Plus... -You're in Estonia,
he's in the Valley.

Apples and oranges.

Yeah, but it's not fair.

The way I see it, in the Valley,
you either make it or you don't.

If you make it, it doesn't
matter how much he cost.

And if you don't, it doesn't
matter either.

Hey, don't fuck this up.

If we hire guys for
that kind of money,

we'll never be profitable.

Profitable? Didn't you hear
what Marcusson said?

Profitable companies are boring.

It just means they ran out of
all new and original ideas.

Guys, guys, guys. Losing money
is a feature' not a bug.

You spend all that you have, until you
leave your competitors in the dust.

Now that's when you
become profitable.

We hire that guy on my terms

or not at all.

Here's my proposal.

Lower base, higher bonus.

Look, there's a long line of blue
chip companies, who want my Rolodex.

In three weeks, I'll be bringing
in deals with so many zeroes,

you'll be looking at my salary
like it's a rounding error.

I gotta keep the lights
on and food on the table

and right here, it's just insane.
- Peter...

The average rent in San Fransisco is
between 3000 and 8000' I think you'll be fine.

I also have a cabin in Tahoe,
helps me with my anxiety.

We are a fast growing venture funded
company that’s going to change the world.

The question to ask yourself is...

if you see a rocket, do you
want to be on that rocket?

Or will you let it fly by?

Okay, I'm in.

But your current sales
team has to go.

Amateurs give me anxiety.

One guy reaches his limit,

they take the next

but he's the fertilizer, upon which

the next guys will grow.

Okay.

Okay, let's do it.

To celebrate, do you have milk
to go with the cookies?

Yes, here we go. Let's make money.

Hey, hey, hey. How you doing?

"GOD-BYE"

Hey, you must be Peter.

We have a cleaning lady for that.

NORRIS - BEST BEE-FORE PASSED

It was difficult to fire Norris,

but it was necessary.

Peter's Silicon Valley connections

and unique selling style
eventually got us

a meeting with our dream client.

Hey, it's great to see you John.

I hope all is well. I brought you some of my famous
special Mama's recipe chocolate chip cookies.

My conservative estimate is 4 months.
- Okay.

For you John, we can get it done in
three weeks. -You sure you can do it?

Estonian engineers are
absolutely amazing.

You got three weeks to
deliver the product.

If you're a day late,
it's 100000 dollars per day penalty.

Three weeks. It's a good
thing' you should smile.

We got a deal.You can handle this.

You and your engineers
can handle anything.

You’re the best! Come on,
Tony! You got this.

It's impossible.

Level 5 self-driving

in three weeks!

What happens if we can't
do it in three?

Contractual penalties,

100k per day over the deadline.

That's absurd,

let's just back out the
contract and that's it.

We can't. - Why not?

If we back away from it,

we'll pay 750k in contractual
penalties.

No one will take us seriously
in the Valley.

We can start trying to
sell self-driving bikes

to the bike store here in Telliskivi.

Screwed, screwed, screwed!

Let's just do what Elon Musk did.

What? You want to start smoking weed?

Fly our half-finished bike to space?

We'll gather up our team
and tell them...

So guys, for the next few weeks, I need
you all to work from 8 am til 11 pm.

Tönu and myself will be the first
to come and the last to leave.

Food is on the company.

If you don't want to
do it' it's okay.

You'll get your three month salary, this
will give you enough time to find a new job.

So guys, who's in?

Is that even legal?

Who's with me?

Thank you, thank you.

Let's do it!

To do the impossible in three weeks,

we had to hire only the best.

And quickly.

Luckily everyone wanted to work

at Estonia's coolest startup.

Still though, we didn't
give anyone a discount.

How do you rate yourself on a scale

from one to ten?

Eight and a half.

What's the thing in your past career

that would convince me that you're

the right person for the job?

Your desk is over there.

If you have any questions,

ask me, I'll be over there.

Tönu!

Thank you.

Mommy, I don't...

Wait a moment, I can't
speak right now'

I'll call you back.

Taavi, customer service

is at the other end of the office.

Pack your things.

MOMMY

What do we do with the client,

whose bikes got lost in the mail?

Send him a cute cat picture,

we'll deal with it later.

And free tokens. - Okay, will do.

Perfect, thank you.

Mommy, I told you, I can't
speak right now.

I see.

Wait, what happened?

You could have at least wished

your dad a happy birthday.

Do you know how long he's been saving

up for his anniversary?

We're not going to take my
family's last savings.

You'll make it back for
the anniversary, right?

You know how important it is to him.

Of course I'll make it.

I've been thinking that

I want to go home too sometimes.

I've got two little kids

and this isn't really okay.

THE NEXT DAY

Okay, what do we do then?

What else are we gonna do,

we'll pay Ober the 750
thousand in penalties.

Close up shop.

There must be some kind of way.

What way?You saw it yourself.

There has to be something,
I don't know either.

What do they do in the Valley

when everything is screwed?

How should I know? I'm from Mustamae.

Palo Alto.

What? - What, what?

The only thing you know
about Palo Alto

is that t-shirt.

Okay, I'll go to San Francisco,

talk to Marcusson.

I'll tell him how it is

and say that we need more money.

To extend our runway.

Why should he give anything?
- I don't know why.

I'm not going to be any use here.

You and the team, keep
writing the code

at the same time.

Like we haven't been doing

it for the last 3 weeks.

We're not giving up.

We didn't make this
company to give up.

We're going all the way.
All or nothing, right?

Let's do this!

I can't justify that to my partners.

It's time for the other
investors to chip in.

If you're a day late, it's 100000
dollars per day penalty.

Money left

it's 100000 dollars per day penalty.

I think it's brilliant, I've
never seen anything like it.

The idea to ride a bike with
no hands' it's fantastic.

I don't know where you came up
with such a brilliant idea.

It's a huge market, it's
a global market.

Everybody wants to ride a bike with no hands,
it's perfect. It's genius, absolute genius.

But we don't really
invest in Estonia.

We don't even know how
to get to Estonia.

By plane.
- How many stops? I mean...

I think it's best if you find somebody
in Estonia, who wants to invest.

Money left

Öie, the thing with startups

is that when you see a curve,

you don't brake, but accelerate.

And if you don't go into
a sideways drift,

you're going too slow.

It's too much risk, the previous
investors are not backing up.

Tom's out and boy, his appetite
is for risk is 10 X mine, so...

Unfortunately no.

No, I'm sorry,there's just not space at our
portfolio right now for a two wheeled Elon Musk.

We need your investors to believe in
you' before we can invest in you.

So tell me, why should I be putting money in, if
your previous investors aren't putting money in.

Had a chance to talk
with Tom Marcusson

and if he's not going to follow
on' I'm not going to follow on.

Talk to you later, good luck.
-Thank you.

Money left

Unicorpse. We are unicorpse.

Dead unicorn.

Fuck.

We are the most female friendly
investors in the Valley.

We can do things that
most VC firms can't.

Now I am happy to consider
investing in your company.

Just know we take pride in doing
very thorough due diligence

on our founders.

Very, very thorough.

I mean, you don't have
to sleep with the guy,

but there’s nothing wrong with giving
the impression that you might.

It's our last shot.

Are you sure you're
cut out to be a CEO?

Guys, this is our opportunity.

Behind every technological
breakthrough'

there are people who are willing to
work crazy hours for a silly dream.

We have the best fucking team in
the world, so let's fucking do it.

Now I tried that. And that.
And this one too.

Now obviously it does work.

This shouldn't be like that.

On the brink of collapsing
from exhaustion

or maybe thanks to that.

Tönu and his team had finally

stumbled upon an algorithm,

that solved fifth level self-driving

with a completely new method.

If it really works,

then it can actually
change the world.

The only thing I was thinking about,

was that Tönu had never
had a successful demo.

So what do you think, John?
- It's impressive.

Can you see how huge this will be?

I don't want your technology.

What do you mean you don't
want our technology?

With this people will be able to order a bike
the same way they’re able to order a cab.

John, this is going to change the world.
- I want your company.

Let's talk.

Let's talk.

Tönu, you're the best
programmer I know.

But please don't start
any more companies.

Better go to the zoo.

What if we built Estonia's first

pretty bicycle helmet?

Believe me, this has the most

potential out of anything...

Let's do it, right?

Let's do it!

Exit?

In the startup world,
it only takes a moment

to go from a deep ravine

to the top of the mountain.

And then back into the ravine.

It turned out that Tönu's
simple formula -

idea, prototype, investors, exit.

Had turned into something
more complicated.

His Doom episode had
another secret level.

What are you doing here?

You know, I was thinking that...

I think that maybe...

Look where you were
a little while ago.

You thought Palo Alto was some

Hungarian discus thrower.

And now you're here.

Aren't you interested in
where this could take us?

Exit now and then what?

We'll go back to Estonia
and make another startup?

And then sell that one?

And then? What?

It would be better to continue
with the first one.

What I wanted to say...

Öie...

I like you.

Well, I mean, more than others.

I mean in our startup.

Or well, more than everyone
in the startup.

Or actually more than
everyone, everywhere.

And then I thought,

that because everyone thinks

that we're a couple and
ask and say things.

Then we could try

to be together and see
where it takes us.

Not to make an exit, but like...

Or what?

Well, I mean, I don't know what...

I can smoke weed and stay
up all night too.

What do you want then anyway?

20 million? The way I see this deal.

It's kind of like a jelly-belly.

'It tastes like a peach, but
it isn't a peach. It's candy.

That on the other hand.
This is a real peach.

This is what we get
when we don't sell.

Hey, hey, this is the fastest
exit of my career.

This little Estonian company
is making history right here.

I know at least 50 bigger
companies in China.

I'm telling you, selling is the
dumbest thing we can do right now.

Man, I need a new helipad.

These commutes to Tahoe
are giving me anxiety.

Who asked what you want,
you're not a founder.

You're just an asshole with a million
dollar contract with no skin in the game.

Tönu!
- Really?

Well, Mr. Founder, I'll remind you.
I'm the one that got us this deal.

Your engineers? Last time I checked
they were on the company payroll.

Not yours.
- Fuck you.

Your momma.
- Hey, stop it!

You can't just say what
comes into your head.

Oh yeah? You're a CEO.

Ultimately the decision rests on you.

Wait, who made you the CEO?

When was that decided? We're...
We're co-founders.

We'll sell.

Ah, and you.

Doctor Tönu Psychopatho.

Mustamae my generaato .

All around electrostaato.

The round table is welcomeato.

You be carefulato, the
rap game is finishato.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,
Tom you are firedato.

I am immortalato.

Ol' dirty bastard. Wu-tan,
kiss my ass!

Shove that peach up your ass.

This is what always happens
in a divorce.

Fuck him.

Episode complete Exit

Next week, we're announcing the
biggest new in our company's history.

We are about to be a part of
something absolutely huge.

And we're going to change the world.

And none of it would be possible
without you guys.

And I for one am excited, because the whole
team is united and moving in one direction.

Except Tony.

As you can see, Tony is moving
in a different direction.

I've made several versions, but the point is
Tony and the company have decided to part ways.

So Tony, on behalf of everyone here,
I just want to thank you for your service.

You cannot fire me, I'm the founder.

Unfortunately the board has
reached an unanimous decision.

Tony. Now I think you're an
amazing technical founder.

Everyone, a round of applause
for Tony please. Come on!

Thank you Tony, thank you.

Firedato.

Ah, come on Tony.

Those were special chocolate
shit cookies.

Tony, the bike is company property.
The cellphone too.

This is my company, you
damn idiot. Fuck you.

I'm so sorry.

It's simple here, one
guy reaches his limit,

and then they take the
next and then the next.

Nice shirt, at least!

You knew I wanted to sell.

I didn't know that you
wanted to sell me too.

Yes? - Öie, we have a little problem.

I mean, you do.

Wait, the investors have
liquidation preference?

Wait, the investors have
liquidation preference?

Yes.

What’s that?

They'll definitely try to confuse

the less experienced side.

But look, in these negotiations

you have to focus on one or two...

How many of these Silicon Valley

deals have you done?

Law is law.

This is Kathy, our legal counsel
from Morgan Lewison.

Morgan, Lewison, Morris,
Jackson and Albright.

Üllar from Kaimar and Kuldar and
partners.Top law firm in Estonia.

We can give founders two seats
on the board instead of one.

In exchange we need liquidation
preference.

You need liquidation...?

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure it's fine.
- Great.

Honestly, between us, you know

I've never seen a top lawyer

at an important meeting

with such a cheap wristwatch.

I think that fact in itself
is saying something.

We can move jurisdiction
from Delaware to Estonia.

But in exchange we want to pump
liquidation preference to 2x.

Excellent, we agree to that.
- Great.

That chick there was straight out of

the Legally Blonde movie.

We can increase valuation by ten percent, if
we also bump up liquidation preference to 4x.

We are ready to sign.
-Yes.

Everything is totally super.

Yeah.

This too.

INVOICE

The liquidation preference

means that the investors will get

their money back first?

Yes. - Okay.

So 4x liquidation preference

means that

the investors will get their money

back four times over

before anyone else gets anything?

Exactly.

So with our 5 million
dollar investment,

4x liquidation preference

is 20 million.

So with our 20 million offer,

Tönu and I don't get anything?

All of the money will
go to the investors?

This is the deal you got us?

Well, you said you were
building an unicorn.

With a billion dollar exit,

that 20 mil is nothing.

If I knew you would sell

your company for spare
change... - Hello?

20 million isn't spare change.

For spare change

I would have negotiated the
liquidation preference

out of the deal.

It's okay, you'll know better
next time' right?

Ah yes, and this as well.

Over the weekend, out of the blue,
I got a job offer from Google.

With a huge base and a
generous equity plan.

It's been a pleasure guys. Swift
action, it's my trademark.

You know what, Tönu, my boy?

Do you want your dog back?

I do. - A bit of the money

from your exit and you
get to keep the dog.

Let's say...

a third.

A third of the money
I made with my exit?

Yeah, a third of your exit money.

Most expensive dog in the world?

I'm sorry you got nothing
from this exit.

It's a pretty shitty deal that
your investors gave you.

But listen, I'd like to
offer you an earn-out.

If you can stay here in Tallinn as the head of
the Estonian office of Ober for 4 more years,

We'll offer you a million
dollar earn-out.

What about Tönu?
-Tönu?

He gets nothing, he's out.

Think about it, a million
dollars, just 4 years.

A million dollars.

Excuse me, miss.
Excuse me, miss.

You dropped something.

Your smile.

Starting from today, I'm unemployed.

I decided to leave the company

I started and built.

Also giving up a million dollars,

that Ober offered me

for running their Estonian office.

I've made a lot of mistakes

and this is probably the dumbest one.

But it's no longer my company.

There's no way. Oh you've
got to be kidding me.

What the...?

Go see who it is! Who
is it? Let's go see.

Öie.

And it feels so right.

Sometimes you have to do

what feels right.

Where are you coming now? - Home.

Fucking brilliant.

Öie, I fucking love you.

Genius, ugh.

BIKEDRIVE FOUNDER LEAVES

AFTER SELLING THE COMPANY

This is not a dog.This is the
chief happiness officer.

I present to you - Pivot.

We will sell this for 99 euros.

3D-printer from the
ass. Massage paws.

Everything deep learning AI.

Pivot.

Okay, finally, something real.

Who's with me?

Hold on, hold on. What do you
think this is' a football team?

BANKER PRIIT

Yes? - I saw that the helmet factory,

where you worked has gone bankrupt.

What do you think about
turning it into

an international manufacturing
company?

We'd let you have loans from the bank

and you can run the company.

What do you say, shall
we meet and discuss it?

Sounds very tempting,
I think so' yes.

Hey Tom. - Hey, I'm
a cut to the chase.

I'm raising a new fund and
I need a partner in Europe

You wouldn't happen to know anybody
who has recently sold her company'

is free and who might be interested
in becoming a VC? Do you?

I might, I'll let you
know by tomorrow.

Yes? - Hey, what's up?

You know. Failing.

Picking myself up. And trying again.

What about you?

Same.

All the money goes to the investors?

These aren't savings,
they're an investment!

What’s this? - I don't know.

Some sort of diploma or...?