Cert nespi (1957) - full transcript
Dear comrades!
With consideration to the good name
of the film art of our nation,
we would like to warn you
that the film you're about to see,
is a bad one.
However, we trust that you'll contribute
your most valuable, expert comments
to help make it better
and thus allow us to avoid the danger
of offending anyone by this satire.
Yours sincerely,
Czechoslovak Film Production.
Comrades!
Our first film satire!
Finally!
Satire!
Satire! I'm happy to have a laugh!
Me too. It depends on the position.
I support satire,
if it is constructive, purging,
and combative,
if it doesn't challenge authorities,
and doesn't provide unacceptable criticism.
Only one thing is a mystery to me.
Why hasn't somebody turn on the heating?
Aren't you warmed by the idea...?
Excuse me.
Is the meeting of the Committee
for the approval of humor,
irony, and satire?
We are where satire is!
As the chairman of this board,
I welcome you!
Are you here to represent the Union?
No, I'm not.
Then, the Bureau?
No. I'm not a member of this body.
– You're not?
– Well then, leave, please!
This is a place of official proceedings!
Strictly confidential!
Understand?
I'm sorry.
I apologize.
Where were we?
Aren't you warmed by the idea
that we are present at the birth
of the first film satire
as its godfathers?
– Aren't you warmed?
– Yes, I am.
So why are you cold?
– Let's go!
– Let's go!
Slovenský filmový ústav
presents
three tickling stories by Peter Karvaš
THE DEVIL NEVER SLEEPS
Screenplay by:
Music:
Conductor:
Sound:
Editor:
Executive producer:
Director of photography:
Directed by:
THE SAD CADRE
And so I'm asking:
is there anything more beautiful
that fighting for a happier future here,
in the front line of the great struggle of
our era?
No! There is nothing more grand.
So we are fulfilling administration tasks
with zeal and dedication.
Perhaps it is a matter of chance,
that the deputy himself noted
our humble team?
I am not a man for long speeches.
I'll be brief.
Praise for this success should go to
the brain of our office,
exact as a time machine,
stable as a marble pillar
and enduring as a steam roller -
our Accounting Department!
Our diligent accountants!
Good morning!
Haven't you got the flu?
I haven't got anything.
Perhaps he's at the registry.
What's wrong with you?
Everybody's celebrating and you,
you look like vinegar essence!
I wouldn't dare...
But you're right!
Believe me, I have had...
It's driving me crazy!
Comrade Kvasnička!
See the foreman!
And here we are!
– To the foreman!
– Yes, sir.
Good luck!
Step out with the right foot!
Chin up!
He'll embarrass himself completely.
When the old chap's celebrating,
even the lamp posts have to dance.
Easy for him to revolt!
But I have two kids!
He revolted!
I adore heroes!
Somebody died?
Are you ill?
Are you in some... ideological conflict?
What is it then?
That's unbelievable!
Here's a question:
Do we have achievements?
We do. Are we making progress?
We are.
Did Comrade Deputy mention us?
He did!
Do you have a reason to be glum? No.
So what's your problem?
Nothing, sir.
– It's just that...
– Just what?
– I'm sad.
– Sad?
Yes, sad.
Are you joking?
Didn't you mean to say that, on the contrary,
you're merry?
Unheard of!
We're building and progressing...
Look!
And you are sad?
Do you mean that you're not rejoicing
about our achievements?
I am, sir.
Aren't you full of dreams, enthusiasm,
and passion?
– I am, of passion, yes.
– Are you?
I am.
So why sad?
Chin up! Keep smiling!
Smiling, comrade Kvasnička,
smiling.
See!?
I knew it.
We just had to look into your soul.
Next time you're worried about something,
just talk to me.
As you would to your father.
– So, what happened?
– Nothing.
He wasn't... mad at you?
He couldn't.
– He got scared.
– Why?
– Did he shake your hand?
– He did.
Then all is well.
Naturally.
Kvasnička! An excellent cadre!
Good class background,
his brother's in the cooperative,
his brother-in-law
at the National District Office,
he's got initiative, he's enlightened!
But sad.
And that's the strangest part of it -
just when we're praised by the leaders.
I've talked to him,
heart to heart,
but there must be something more
at the root of this.
I'll leave that up to you.
Won't you take a look!
I will.
Why wouldn't I look?
Ivanič? Over here!
To the Cadre Department!
Such delicate matters cannot be
handled over the phone!
Jozef Kalamár, Jozef Kramár,
Jozef Kresák...
So many Jozefs, how am I to make
sense of it?
Cyril Kvasnička.
And sad?
Honor! What is it?
Are you the head of the Youth Union?
Of course I am.
– And you look after cadres?
– I do!
You look after Kvasnička too?
No need to look after him!
He's agile, popular,
pays membership fees...
Theater, notice board, table tennis!
What's the matter?
– He's sad.
– And?
You don't get it?
We're building a happier future
and he's sad!
Take a serious approach!
Really!
If we take on a serious approach,
on the day before yesterday
he wasn't sad yet.
But he is today! Just when we were praised
by Comrade Deputy!
It's clear as day!
You see? You're living your life
and in others, remains of bourgeois thoughts
are hatching!
Bourgeois...?
Pinning up, Cyrilko?
Pinning up.
These are memorable events!
Comrade Deputy himself... us...
as the best office in the country.
In a word, you're pinning.
Keep going, bravely!
– I'm brave. Honor work!
– Honor, Cyrilko.
Honor!
– It's an irreversible fact!
– What is?
Everything! Kvasnička's in it!
I knew from the very beginning.
I told the foreman too:
Watch out for Kvasnička, there's something
suspicious about him.
– What happened exactly?
– Listen!
It is our holy obligation to guard the peace.
Holy. Is that clear? Or here.
Only the faith in our fellow man
gives us sure hope.
Faith, hope. What a priest and idealist, eh?
I've been saying that for months.
It's clear from Kvasnička's file.
Anything important?
Dark.
At first, it all seems to fit,
and suddenly, a gap!
Look!
Years 1939 to 1944.
1939 to 1944.
Five dark years.
We have to shed some light on Kvasnička.
Damn it!
And why didn't Kvasnička put this
in paper recycling long ago?
Perhaps he forgot.
Forgot? You seem to be taking his side.
But he's so sad, poor man!
We'll see whether he is such a poor man!
This case isn't clear at all.
And so Kvasnička turned into a case.
He acted in a suspicious way.
He turned his back on the care
for fellow man
that they showered him with.
The rotting, decadent,
and by its essence a thoroughly
bourgeois sadness
spread from him in mighty waves
and covered all
who out their whole lives
into efforts of getting closer to him.
He tore himself off from the masses
and walked, disregarding all,
down his questionable winding roads.
Oh, what did you get yourself into,
Cyril Kvasnička?
Comrade Kvasnička!
– Want some? I'll get some for you.
– Thank you, I...
Don't be so worried, you're young!
But I feel so down.
– I know that very well.
– You do?
Haven't I been a young man once?
I was worried to my heart's content!
It hurts, and then it passes. Right?
Talk to me, maybe I can help.
Well?
Uncle, I...
Thank you.
I'll intervene with energy and
without compromise.
– We won't let revolt into our office.
– We won't!
Nine o'clock sharp!
Good morning!
Isn't is a lovely day?
Do you hear it?
It's a thrush.
Suit yourself!
– What's going on?
– Nothing!
Can't you turn it down?
Come on, miss comrade blooms,
birds sing, the world is beautiful.
Right?
Unbelievable! Is that some new kind
of self-criticism?
Sure, self-criticism!
– Or... provocation.
– Yes, provocation!
What if it's a tricky cover-up maneuver?
Maneuver!
– We have to be careful.
– My words!
With full concentration.
He should see it too.
– Come quick!
– What is it?
Come!
Go get backup!
– Uncle Kolenička!
– A word!
Yes!
Is there anything you want to talk about?
There's something.
Let's hear it!
It worries me...
Her father's ill, her salary is low...
– Whose?
– Pipulková.
To hell with Pipulková,
you know damn well...
– who we care about.
– Who?
– Kvasnička!
– Kvasnička?
We know everything!
Nothing can save him now!
So it is.
He'll be happier like this.
– Happier?
– Are you aware who you're teaming up with?
– Not me, him!
– With whom?
Talk!
You'll see for yourselves.
– Cyrilko...
– Yes?
Never mind.
– Milka!
– Yes?
– Nothing...
– Nothing?
– Something!
– What?
– Milka... I...
– Me too.
Were you really so sad?
– Very.
– Me too.
Since the dance...
when you spilled lemonade on my skirt.
– Really?
– Really.
Open up!
Open up right now!
Why?
Were you on time?
Did you prevent everything?
And why should we be preventing?
Because of the conspiracy,
or whatever.
Conspiracy? I hope not!
They're only engaged.
Engaged?
Shouldn't they be?
Is it correct for people
to be getting engaged
during office hours?
It is correct.
Because what we need most of all
is more cadres.
Well?
I knew it!
Congratulations.
I'm Homola,
Cyril's best friend.
There's nothing heroic about that!
– And you knew about this?
– Of course.
– How?
– I asked him!
And he told you, just like that?
Wouldn't you, if one asks nicely?
Me? Of course!
See how easy it is to harm your fellow man,
the most valuable thing there is.
Because all who think that
there are no love stories in socialism,
are wrong.
There is love.
Love happens in the noise of the cranes,
and the noise of the bulldozers,
and even here, at our quiet, peaceful
administrative front.
It would have been easy
to trample on this fragile flower,
if man were not in the forefront
of our efforts.
From among all the treasures of this earth,
all the treasures...
all the treasures...
– Yes, we need satire...
– ...like bread.
... like salt! But who is salted
by this satire?
Who is salted?
We are! Our youth!
Is this some youngster?
It is, but a bad one!
Is our youth bad? No!
This is a film targeted at the
Czechoslovak Youth Union.
I don't understand.
Where do such cadre people live?
They lived yesterday. But today?
I think this is provocative.
Including the lack of heating!
Or other characters too, such as...
– Such as Kvasnička!
– Kvasnička!
How many such sad cadres
are to be seen in this film?
Don't we still have such men today still,
men burdened by personal issues,
sad, unhappy, timid men?
We do.
But... I feel sorry for them.
Is it necessary to attack
such inconspicuous people by satire?
Is it honest to ridicule their sorrow?
Think about it.
I knew it!
I suggest we proceed to the next one.
So are we against?
AN EXEMPLARY CASE
Olinka, let's go!
Write!
The Bottom Puddle cooperative
is making fine headway.
Underscore. Got it?
Excellent!
Thanks to their type-four cooperative,
the people of Puddle
are done with the sowing this spring...
Narrow-ridge sowing?
Naturally! Narrow-ridge...
Half a day faster than last year.
– Got it?
– Got it.
Now! The idea of the cooperative...
... let deep roots in Puddle, right?
Of course! You're amazing!
The example of Puddle made an impact?
Sure it did, a mobilizing impact
in the whole county...
Yes?
Yes, he's here. Please.
To the boss!
Finish it, Olinka.
And don't forget the corn!
Corn, hectare yield, work units.
The people of Puddle are buying Spartaks
and TV sets. What else?
Olinka, you're growing.
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
– Honor. What is it?
– What have you got for Page Three?
The cooperative in Bottom Puddle.
Increasing quality and sowing.
– Narrow ridge?
– Naturally!
The idea of the cooperative let roots?
Deep roots!
Corn, TV sets, bikes...
Wrong – automobiles, but all else I got.
– Štrich, what is the press?
– It's a weapon!
– What kind of weapon?
– Aggressive.
– And what are you doing with it?
– I fight.
– You fight?
– I fight!
No, you're idling.
You're missing life!
But... improving quality
and sowing...
You're at the rear.
You don't have any guts!
The nation wants to read about
the burning hot topics!
What's burning?
– You don't get it.
– I don't.
What should it be about?
About something exemplary.
I get it.
– And what about?
– What about...?
Some issue.
Some key issue of our lives!
You should've told me right away!
About flats!
– Flats?
– Of course!
It is an issue that's exemplary,
that's key, and it's hot!
Very well then!
But I want an exciting life story.
It has to come with a name and surname,
look like that and that, be...
– ... from there and there...
– there and there...
– a specific, and exemplary case.
– Will do!
I'll go after it to the end of the world!
So much talk for a report about
the shortage of flats.
I'll write it with my left hand and watch
the game on the side.
What are our Puddlers doing?
Just landed a victorious position
at the helm of the county!
At the helm?
At the rear! The Puddlers are out!
What is the press?
A weapon.
And what am I?
A fighter.
I'm back in an hour with a...
a bourgeois journalist would say:
a bombshell report!
– Where're you going?
– To the end of the world,
the North Pole Post Office.
The flat shortage?
Point no. 1: Flat shortage
according to Engels. No quotes.
Point no. 2: Caring for people
according to the guidelines.
Olinka will spread it out
to three paragraphs.
Point no. 3: A specific, exciting example
with name and surname.
What an exciting, specific case!
He has a name, and surname, and all...
That would be quite a story!
The old man is right, life is slipping
through my fingers.
Where were we?
Point no. 4: Courage!
No fear then.
But... the end of the world
is very far away
and I would miss the deadline.
After all, you search abroad,
you find at home.
People live here too.
Do they suffer from flat shortage?
Sure they do.
So what's the problem?
Comrade Kasnička! Congratulations!
The luckiest man in Bratislava!
Sooner or later,
everybody gets married!
It's easy to find a woman.
But getting a flat! We're moved,
the whole office!
Really?
We feel: our man got lucky
like he deserved.
– You're too kind...
– Kind, kind...
– So tell me, how much?
– Excuse me?
– In an envelope, or just the cash?
– Excuse me?
And who did you go to?
– Don't worry, I'm totally discrete.
– Excuse me?
No matter, I was joking,
you know me.
– Cadre Department...
– Second floor, 25 to the right.
Who's that?
And what for to the Cadre Department?
What's it about?
It's about fellow man.
It's always about fellow man.
What's it in reference to?
In reference to a specific,
exemplary case.
A case that everyone knows,
and which needs to be defended.
– Is that clear?
– No!
It's about flats!
Don't you have a remarkable case?
So you've heard too?
We hear about everything.
Our finger on the pulse of the time.
Then what do you want
if you already know?
Knowing isn't enough!
The case needs to be explored!
We need to delve inside,
get to the core, look at the roots!
So Kvasnička is turning into a sensation.
Not a sensation!
He'd become a sensation
in the bourgeois press.
But for us, comrade Kraslička is...
– Kvasnička.
– Whatever.
The human story matters, and we'll throw
the sharp light of criticism on it.
At its side, we draw the pen against
all things evil,
– all things old, all right?
– Absolutely.
And where is this case?
Administrative Department,
fifth floor to the right.
All right!
Here we go!
An exciting, exemplary case?
Probably a downright classical case.
And now, courage!
Olinka, note: The heritage
of unkind times.
Underscore. Let's go.
How much longer can we suffer
certain facts in the housing department?
Question mark.
At an unspecified office,
we meet administrative worker,
Cyril...
Kvasnička. Period.
His case has caused an outrage
among his coworkers.
That fits, Olinka, right?
New paragraph.
The flat is airy, but the case must be
critically aired.
Aired.
Comrade Kvasnička?
No, I'm Štróbl.
Everyone can tell you.
I'm not Kvasnička, am I?
Here it comes!
I knew it won't just go like that.
Of course, that's why I'm here!
– From the Housing Bureau?
– Why from Housing?
Then what do you want from him?
Facts! The real basics of the case.
People should learn the whole truth.
Finally a man's word.
It's scandalous what happened
to Kvasnička.
Scandalous? That's too general.
Be more specific! How many applications
has he submitted?
How many rejections has he received?
How many years has been applying for a flat?
Note! Twice.
He's been there twice. First, with the forms,
and then to pick up the keys.
The keys?
– I don't understand.
– Who does?
That is, what?
He applied, and he got a flat
in three weeks.
He got a flat?
One bedroom, brand new!
– With a lift!
– And central heating!
– And a telephone!
– With a view of the river.
Isn't that enough?
Yes, that's quite enough.
Kvasnička is at the Accounting Dept.
I'm Štróbl.
Go at them!
That would be something – apply for a flat
and just get it, like that.
– Where are we?
– In hell.
The exciting case went to hell.
Some Kvasnička comes, applies,
and gets a flat.
What's hot about that?
But who gets flat in three weeks?
Only an excellent worker.
An inventor!
An innovator of the administration!
That's fantastic!
Štrich, you're one lucky man.
An exemplary case!
Olinka, note!
The advantages from the Housing Dept.
worked out well for Cyril Kvasnička,
an exemplary worker
of our administration.
New paragraph. We visited him
at a new, cozy building,
warmed by a family atmosphere
in a new type household. Period.
Humble, but proud Kvasnička
lives an increasingly happy life.
And it's done!
Where's Accounting?
– Ground floor, number seven.
– Ground floor.
What's all the talk for?
Someone made an exception for him!
No way! Search for the woman.
There are women at the Housing Dept.
Kvasnička, and women!
He bribed them!
His pockets are empty, poor man!
Then there's only one answer.
Oh yes, this will end badly.
In prison, gentlemen!
– Where is he?
– Kvasnička?
May I be so brave, please!
A man without a record,
leading an honest, quiet life...
... no cards, no liquor...
– ... what verdict could he get?
– Even the rope!
So which one is Kvasnička?
Sorry, he's never been here.
Is this the Accounting, or not?
Yes, but this is Financing.
Kvasnička is at the Payroll.
And where is Payroll?
– Right here.
– Where?
Here.
Fourth floor.
Damn the man!
Have you heard?
Didn't I tell you there's a woman
behind it?
– A jealous husband.
– A jealous husband?
Jesus Christ, this is about honor.
– Honor?
– The honor of the office!
The office? Let's do something then!
Do what?
Let's go!
– Let's go!
– Let's go!
Payroll? Is Kvasnička there?
Thank God! No, something worse!
– A jealous husband.
– He's dangerous!
Yes, watch out!
– Traces...
– Remove all the traces!
KVASNIČKA
HONORARY MENTION
6.70. They were out of cucumbers.
What's going on?
Where's Kvasnička?
Welcome, I'm Bázlik.
Have a seat.
– I have to...
– Of course, we're with you.
– Have some water, it's fresh!
– Thank you.
It's just that...
We know about everything
and we agree.
But Kvasnička didn't mean it,
there must be an explanation!
An explanation for what?
Have some water, it's fresh!
No water, give me Kvasnička!
You mustn't hurt him,
he's a good man.
Why would I hurt him?
I'll put him on third and off he goes.
– He doesn't deserve that.
– He does.
If all's true.
People gossip...
They should better keep quiet.
Quiet?
Tomorrow, the whole country will know.
I agree! It's such a shame!
Shame?
Shame and a deadly sin!
Have some water, it's fresh!
You beat sin by a burning sword!
Well, okay, maybe he'll go on Fifth.
But now I want to know
where Kvasnička is!
– At the archive.
– Where's that?
Downstairs, in the basement.
The basement.
– Good God!
– Lord hear us.
– Is anybody there?
– Yes, sir.
Have you seen comrade Kvasnička?
That's me.
You're not serious!
Quite serious.
– You got a flat in three weeks?
– Of course.
Why?
What do you mean why, please?
Are you an excellent clerk?
An innovator?
Me, an innovator?
Then, do you participate in some
organizations?
Not since I got married.
Are you at the Youth Union?
Take on extra work?
Are you a striker?
For Red Star!
– I'm sorry, but...
– Not even that?
Okay, then it's some uncle!
I do have an uncle, please.
– At the Housing Department?
– No.
He works at the cooperative,
he looks after the cows.
Alojz. I also have an uncle Ferenc...
You got a flat thanks to uncle Ferenc?
Oh, no.
Milka and I got married.
We applied for a flat and
got a positive reply.
Quite normally, please.
Normally!
What do you mean?
I read in the papers...
The papers, the papers...
If you had nine kids!
Or if you were somebody!
Or if you were somebody!
No, please.
– And they gave you a flat!
– Yes, please.
You see! Where's the logic?
Excuse me?
Listen, man! You got a photo?
– A photo?
– Glossy. 13 x 18.
– What for, please?
– For the Third!
You don't get it?
You're an exemplary case!
An exemplary case.
Štrich, You'll never be a journalist.
What did you write again?
An exemplary, specific case!
Nonsense!
You come up with sensations like
the burgeois press!
A flat in three weeks?
And where did you find this Cyril?
Good he's not called Methodius!
But it's true!
You want to know the truth?
Look, the mail. All about flats!
I've been waiting for five years,
I've applied three times,
I sleep on my desk...
It's true!
It's true,
but so is this.
Hell, what is exemplary then?
Exemplary? Three years at the paper,
and you don't know?
Cyril and Milka Kvasnička,
an exemplary case of newlyweds,
struck by a portent of communism.
My case can easily serve
as an exemplary bureaucratic attitude
to a citizen.
Respectfully yours,
Matej Valach and family.
Damn!
It's not that easy!
What do we have for Page Three?
Where were we?
The locals of Puddle at the helm...
At the helm...
Thanks to their diligence, zeal,
and collective spirit.
– Got it?
– Got it.
– May all cooperatives...
– In the whole county or region?
No, the whole republic.
... learn that the only correct road...
the only correct road...
I protest!
I protest!
That's nonsense!
To get a flat in three weeks!
That's no story for a satire!
That calls for a positive film,
constructive, and optimistic!
I've been waiting three years for a flat.
And I know people inside.
That's a satire!
I support exemplariness.
But to get a flat in three weeks,
that's too exemplary.
I just don't believe it!
What are we here for?
Note in the resolution:
The committee unanimously suggests
the filmmakers,
to make Kvasnička wait longer
for his assigned flat
from three weeks to two...
– Make it three.
– ... to three years,
in order to enhance authenticity
and realism of the story.
That's first.
Second,
Since waiting for a flat is not exemplary,
the committee advises to rename
The Exemplary Case
to an Unexemplary case.
– Happy?
– Quite.
Please!
Are we all for it?
Stop!
Stop! Stop!
Comrades, unexemplary case?
Doesn't it ring a bell?
But, what isn't exemplary, isn't true.
Which one of us will take the risk
of releasing a film about such a thing?
– I knew it.
– How good we're here.
– So are we against it?
– Let's go!
– Let's go!
– Let's go!
– Let's go!
– Let's go!
A GENEROUS CAMPAIGN
Thank you, comrades.
Our next meeting is on the 12th.
Strange things? In my company?
Impossible, comrade commissary.
We're exceeding the plans,
the workers are competing in results,
even after work!
Does it mean that here...?
And you haven't heard about it?
Unfortunately, I admit,
it's spreading,
like woodworm, across the factory.
– How?
– Like a flood!
But I'll take measures.
I'll face this.
From this day on...
That's not what I meant.
People have all kinds of addictions.
But there are cases...
No, comrade commissary,
I know what my duties are.
Rest assured, I'll take care of it.
We'll roll out a generous campaign.
Enter!
– He's not here yet?
– Yes, he is, sitting over there.
A cactus. That was you?
This is from me!
Triplesec?
Champagne, gin.
Oh my! We'll perform well today!
Hush!
Antošíková? All clear!
She's gone.
– In my factory!
– What?
Careful, so it won't pop.
The bottle knows when.
Not here yet?
Office of Comrade Kurina.
No, not here yet.
We're expecting him.
Engineer Martvoň.
Excuse me?
Is he here yet?
Very well. Right away.
We got a problem, just now.
The director is back,
we're to see him.
– Now?
– Now.
Antošíková!
Let's go!
Comrade Kurina is not here,
he wasn't here and he won't be here!
Comrade Antošíková...
Leave me alone!
Comrade Kurina is not here,
he wasn't here and he won't be here!
He's celebrating his name day today.
Honor work!
Honor work, comrade.
No, he's not present.
I know that!
You'll substitute for Comrade Kurina
in a serious matter!
I'll substitute.
I'll substitute!
Comrades...
Plum brandy or cognac?
Nothing! Not today.
Thank you, you can go.
I'm coming straight from the commissary.
Matters have entered a lethally
serious stage.
I'm covered!
I have a file about it from last May!
– About what?
– About super standard reserves.
I've been telling you one day
we'll be busted!
Easy for them to be busting us
down here,
when we need 150 more men...
Nonsense!
People are drinking!
The hydra of alcoholism has reached
our factory.
It's spreading like plague!
It's coming like a flood!
– That's what they say about us.
– Who does?
The commissary.
And right he was.
It's a malignant addiction...
A malignant addiction has set
its roots here.
Then it needs to be uprooted!
Uprooted?
– Uprooted, that's right!
– Right!
What does the factory board suggest,
Comrade Srieň?
Discuss it at the plenary meeting.
A union representative, a cultural brigade
from the national theatre,
people will vote for the resolution
against drinking...
... against drinking.
I... suggest a lecture with slides.
We need to explain to people
scientifically that alcoholism is...
Such a matter needs to be placed
in expert hands.
Give it to women!
We'll set things right!
I could point my finger right now.
More delicacy, Comrade Antošíková!
What are the chicks have to do with it?
What did you say? Chick?
You have me for a chick?
We'll show you what chicks are.
Someone's going to pay for this!
I'll give you chicks!
We'll roll out a generous campaign.
In the whole factory, a generous campaign
against alcoholism.
That's our agreement with
comrade commissary.
– We'll investigate the...
– ... disturbances.
... the disturbances, first,
we'll set up an anti-alcoholic
committee, second
and third, we'll take strict measures
against those concerned.
But, who are those... concerned?
That's your responsibility now,
to name those concerned.
I'm counting on you.
But don't go around beating on a drum.
It's a delicate matter,
take it person by person.
And don't forget, a generous campaign!
Of course! Who would go around
with a drum?
Delicately, person by person...
we'll investigate the cases and
those concerned...
Damn you! All these men and
none concerned!
Not one concerned? Hooray!
Here! Klušťák!
He used to show 180 per cent performance,
and now...
he barely meets the standard.
Such a talented man and
he's ruining himself.
Got him! Klušťák is absolutely concerned.
Comrade Srieň also found his
concerned person
although there are none of those here.
Of course, young Kolár.
Yesterday, he got into a fight,
he broke a mirror,
and today... he's absent.
What can we do,
Kolár has such temperament.
He's concerned from head to toe!
Zurvalčík hasn't found one concerned!
Triplesec? Where did you get it?
Me? I just found it, in the trash.
The trash? You'll get a taste of that!
Sorry, I'm in a hurry, tomorrow!
Flow, my tears I'm shedding...
I had a lover, now he's gone!
He told me he loved me,
– and he broke ...
– He broke his promise.
Flow, little brook, silently...
Tomatoes!
And for the others?
NO ENTRY
He beat his wife,
the neighbors saw.
And he drinks?
In an excellent, magnificent,
notorious manner.
Klušťák.
– What's his job?
– He works at the locksmith workshop.
A worker then?
And this is what you, an engineer, found?
Such a delicate matter, and you,
a representative of the intelligentsia,
propose to start with the working cadre?
Tell me, is that politically tolerable?
Tell me! See?
Or Kolár.
True, Kolár can get really hammered.
But where do we find such a one,
with his qualifications?
A sportsman, a cultural manager?
And mainly, the guy is funny.
I'm not waiting any longer. You?
I left my... hat.
Better nobody than Kolár.
We need every single person!
And you, Comrade Zurvalčík?
Nothing!
Damn it, is there not one worthy booser
whom we could submit to
exemplary punishment?
Are you trying to tell me nobody drinks
around here?
Well, people do drink, but...
Triplesec!
Who?
Who?
You don't know fun!
You're all cheapskates!
Antošíková!
What idiot brought it here?
Comrade engineer Martvoň.
– Only this?
– No.
Bottles too.
And where are they?
The boose?
In accordance with the resolution
of the meeting with Comrade Director
regarding the anti-alcoholic campaign
at our factory...
– Are you drunk?
– Me? Drunk?
Where did you put all the boose?
I gave it to Kvasnička!
Really! Drunk!
So you are the...
Cyril Kvasnička, please.
You know there's no drinking allowed
at the factory?
I do. Actually, I think
that there shouldn't be any drinking...
at all whatsoever.
Shouldn't be, right.
– So why did you?
– Me?
– My wife ordered me to...
– Your wife?
... to bring empty bottles.
– Empty bottles?
– Yes, empty.
Yesterday we made tomato preservatives
for the first time.
Tomorrow we're making plum jam.
Jam! Carry on with the jam, then,
and give my regards to your wifey.
Wait!
Here, now go.
Thank you, we've already made some.
Out!
I'm sorry, please.
– Honor work!
– Out!
I'm here, please!
Where are the bottles?
They're gone, except for the one
from triplegin.
It's at the Comrade Director's.
Triplegin? At the director's?
Comrade Director Deputy,
don't go there!
The campaign is against it...
He's drunk too. Hammered!
They got him.
What will Comrade Commissary
think of us?
What am I going to tell him?
Not even empty bottles should be
taken out of the factory.
Nothing should be taken out.
– Nothing?
– If you look at it that way...
Is there anything taken out of the factory?
Well, one takes bottles, another...
who knows.
Have you seen anybody?
I did not.
But Comrade Zurvalčík,
good thing he's pointed it out!
If Kvasnička wanted to, he could
carry things in his briefcase.
But he's a dork.
In his briefcase?
In his briefcase? Carry?
Here you are!
Scoundrels!
Jožko, it's my nameday.
You're not?
Swear you're not surprised!
Jožinko, come on!
What's going on here?
Pour!
We're fooling around with alcoholism,
which is practically non-existent
at our factory,
while some Kvasničkas are taking
things from the factory?
Stealing from the factory?
Carrying things in their briefcases?
Well... if we look at it
from a vigilant point of view,
mainly because the bottles weren't his,
a fact is that...
Stealing of national property.
That's it!
Immediately, we'll initiate
a generous campaign
against the stealing of national property.
And we'll start right away!
It means searching for those concerned.
What does Kvasnička do?
Assistant stock-keeper.
We'll start by exemplary punishment
of Cyril Kvasnička.
Very good!
And we'll postpone the campaign
against alcoholism,
until a more suitable constellation arises.
A campaign against alcoholism?
That's all you need, right?
You are lucky.
I hope you're not stealing
national property.
I hear there's a lot of fun over there.
Fun, in our factory?
I heard the workers chased away
some Klušťák from the workshop,
because he came to work drunk.
Chased away.
Klušťák was chased away.
The generous campaign we rolled out...
And somebody was excluded
from the Youth Union.
What's his name?
Kolár from accounting...
Sure, excluded, of course!
We prepared further radical measures
within out new campaign.
For example, a certain Kvasnička...
And you tamed that deputy of yours?
Kurina? A delicate matter.
I have had several conversations
with him,
but the method of convincing...
I'll take care of that too.
There are things that need to be seen to
directly and decidedly!
So you're still the good old Puc!
Good old, Comrade Commissary.
Comrades, I love satire.
I'm sorry, I can't wait any longer.
My name is Kvasnička... the author.
– You are the...?
– Author!
Now I'll finally know!
Where did you find those women?
It's a film against our women!
Are these the representatives
of our healthy, honorable,
progressive women?
Women! How come all they do is drink
at that factory?
And steal! Who finds that funny?
The class enemy!
A commissary in a film satire!
It's clear what they'll think abroad.
Who would find
Comrade Commissary funny?
But, friends!
That's what's brave and new.
I agree with all my heart,
that our art should criticize commissaries.
I say, why not go higher?
Yes, that could be done,
because our satire
should be scared of no commissaries
or even
I'm sorry, it's my first piece,
the first timid attempt...
That's right!
Timid. That's what the problem is.
You should go higher, my friend!
Against our women,
against the Youth Union,
against the liquor industry, etcetera.
You lack civil courage!
You should rather write something
about the social illness.
We need that as we need bread.
– Are we against it?
– Against.
I...
Should you need help, ideas, material,
come to me, as if I were your
own father.
I love satire.
It's the salt of our art!
I'm sorry, please.
With consideration to the good name
of the film art of our nation,
we would like to warn you
that the film you're about to see,
is a bad one.
However, we trust that you'll contribute
your most valuable, expert comments
to help make it better
and thus allow us to avoid the danger
of offending anyone by this satire.
Yours sincerely,
Czechoslovak Film Production.
Comrades!
Our first film satire!
Finally!
Satire!
Satire! I'm happy to have a laugh!
Me too. It depends on the position.
I support satire,
if it is constructive, purging,
and combative,
if it doesn't challenge authorities,
and doesn't provide unacceptable criticism.
Only one thing is a mystery to me.
Why hasn't somebody turn on the heating?
Aren't you warmed by the idea...?
Excuse me.
Is the meeting of the Committee
for the approval of humor,
irony, and satire?
We are where satire is!
As the chairman of this board,
I welcome you!
Are you here to represent the Union?
No, I'm not.
Then, the Bureau?
No. I'm not a member of this body.
– You're not?
– Well then, leave, please!
This is a place of official proceedings!
Strictly confidential!
Understand?
I'm sorry.
I apologize.
Where were we?
Aren't you warmed by the idea
that we are present at the birth
of the first film satire
as its godfathers?
– Aren't you warmed?
– Yes, I am.
So why are you cold?
– Let's go!
– Let's go!
Slovenský filmový ústav
presents
three tickling stories by Peter Karvaš
THE DEVIL NEVER SLEEPS
Screenplay by:
Music:
Conductor:
Sound:
Editor:
Executive producer:
Director of photography:
Directed by:
THE SAD CADRE
And so I'm asking:
is there anything more beautiful
that fighting for a happier future here,
in the front line of the great struggle of
our era?
No! There is nothing more grand.
So we are fulfilling administration tasks
with zeal and dedication.
Perhaps it is a matter of chance,
that the deputy himself noted
our humble team?
I am not a man for long speeches.
I'll be brief.
Praise for this success should go to
the brain of our office,
exact as a time machine,
stable as a marble pillar
and enduring as a steam roller -
our Accounting Department!
Our diligent accountants!
Good morning!
Haven't you got the flu?
I haven't got anything.
Perhaps he's at the registry.
What's wrong with you?
Everybody's celebrating and you,
you look like vinegar essence!
I wouldn't dare...
But you're right!
Believe me, I have had...
It's driving me crazy!
Comrade Kvasnička!
See the foreman!
And here we are!
– To the foreman!
– Yes, sir.
Good luck!
Step out with the right foot!
Chin up!
He'll embarrass himself completely.
When the old chap's celebrating,
even the lamp posts have to dance.
Easy for him to revolt!
But I have two kids!
He revolted!
I adore heroes!
Somebody died?
Are you ill?
Are you in some... ideological conflict?
What is it then?
That's unbelievable!
Here's a question:
Do we have achievements?
We do. Are we making progress?
We are.
Did Comrade Deputy mention us?
He did!
Do you have a reason to be glum? No.
So what's your problem?
Nothing, sir.
– It's just that...
– Just what?
– I'm sad.
– Sad?
Yes, sad.
Are you joking?
Didn't you mean to say that, on the contrary,
you're merry?
Unheard of!
We're building and progressing...
Look!
And you are sad?
Do you mean that you're not rejoicing
about our achievements?
I am, sir.
Aren't you full of dreams, enthusiasm,
and passion?
– I am, of passion, yes.
– Are you?
I am.
So why sad?
Chin up! Keep smiling!
Smiling, comrade Kvasnička,
smiling.
See!?
I knew it.
We just had to look into your soul.
Next time you're worried about something,
just talk to me.
As you would to your father.
– So, what happened?
– Nothing.
He wasn't... mad at you?
He couldn't.
– He got scared.
– Why?
– Did he shake your hand?
– He did.
Then all is well.
Naturally.
Kvasnička! An excellent cadre!
Good class background,
his brother's in the cooperative,
his brother-in-law
at the National District Office,
he's got initiative, he's enlightened!
But sad.
And that's the strangest part of it -
just when we're praised by the leaders.
I've talked to him,
heart to heart,
but there must be something more
at the root of this.
I'll leave that up to you.
Won't you take a look!
I will.
Why wouldn't I look?
Ivanič? Over here!
To the Cadre Department!
Such delicate matters cannot be
handled over the phone!
Jozef Kalamár, Jozef Kramár,
Jozef Kresák...
So many Jozefs, how am I to make
sense of it?
Cyril Kvasnička.
And sad?
Honor! What is it?
Are you the head of the Youth Union?
Of course I am.
– And you look after cadres?
– I do!
You look after Kvasnička too?
No need to look after him!
He's agile, popular,
pays membership fees...
Theater, notice board, table tennis!
What's the matter?
– He's sad.
– And?
You don't get it?
We're building a happier future
and he's sad!
Take a serious approach!
Really!
If we take on a serious approach,
on the day before yesterday
he wasn't sad yet.
But he is today! Just when we were praised
by Comrade Deputy!
It's clear as day!
You see? You're living your life
and in others, remains of bourgeois thoughts
are hatching!
Bourgeois...?
Pinning up, Cyrilko?
Pinning up.
These are memorable events!
Comrade Deputy himself... us...
as the best office in the country.
In a word, you're pinning.
Keep going, bravely!
– I'm brave. Honor work!
– Honor, Cyrilko.
Honor!
– It's an irreversible fact!
– What is?
Everything! Kvasnička's in it!
I knew from the very beginning.
I told the foreman too:
Watch out for Kvasnička, there's something
suspicious about him.
– What happened exactly?
– Listen!
It is our holy obligation to guard the peace.
Holy. Is that clear? Or here.
Only the faith in our fellow man
gives us sure hope.
Faith, hope. What a priest and idealist, eh?
I've been saying that for months.
It's clear from Kvasnička's file.
Anything important?
Dark.
At first, it all seems to fit,
and suddenly, a gap!
Look!
Years 1939 to 1944.
1939 to 1944.
Five dark years.
We have to shed some light on Kvasnička.
Damn it!
And why didn't Kvasnička put this
in paper recycling long ago?
Perhaps he forgot.
Forgot? You seem to be taking his side.
But he's so sad, poor man!
We'll see whether he is such a poor man!
This case isn't clear at all.
And so Kvasnička turned into a case.
He acted in a suspicious way.
He turned his back on the care
for fellow man
that they showered him with.
The rotting, decadent,
and by its essence a thoroughly
bourgeois sadness
spread from him in mighty waves
and covered all
who out their whole lives
into efforts of getting closer to him.
He tore himself off from the masses
and walked, disregarding all,
down his questionable winding roads.
Oh, what did you get yourself into,
Cyril Kvasnička?
Comrade Kvasnička!
– Want some? I'll get some for you.
– Thank you, I...
Don't be so worried, you're young!
But I feel so down.
– I know that very well.
– You do?
Haven't I been a young man once?
I was worried to my heart's content!
It hurts, and then it passes. Right?
Talk to me, maybe I can help.
Well?
Uncle, I...
Thank you.
I'll intervene with energy and
without compromise.
– We won't let revolt into our office.
– We won't!
Nine o'clock sharp!
Good morning!
Isn't is a lovely day?
Do you hear it?
It's a thrush.
Suit yourself!
– What's going on?
– Nothing!
Can't you turn it down?
Come on, miss comrade blooms,
birds sing, the world is beautiful.
Right?
Unbelievable! Is that some new kind
of self-criticism?
Sure, self-criticism!
– Or... provocation.
– Yes, provocation!
What if it's a tricky cover-up maneuver?
Maneuver!
– We have to be careful.
– My words!
With full concentration.
He should see it too.
– Come quick!
– What is it?
Come!
Go get backup!
– Uncle Kolenička!
– A word!
Yes!
Is there anything you want to talk about?
There's something.
Let's hear it!
It worries me...
Her father's ill, her salary is low...
– Whose?
– Pipulková.
To hell with Pipulková,
you know damn well...
– who we care about.
– Who?
– Kvasnička!
– Kvasnička?
We know everything!
Nothing can save him now!
So it is.
He'll be happier like this.
– Happier?
– Are you aware who you're teaming up with?
– Not me, him!
– With whom?
Talk!
You'll see for yourselves.
– Cyrilko...
– Yes?
Never mind.
– Milka!
– Yes?
– Nothing...
– Nothing?
– Something!
– What?
– Milka... I...
– Me too.
Were you really so sad?
– Very.
– Me too.
Since the dance...
when you spilled lemonade on my skirt.
– Really?
– Really.
Open up!
Open up right now!
Why?
Were you on time?
Did you prevent everything?
And why should we be preventing?
Because of the conspiracy,
or whatever.
Conspiracy? I hope not!
They're only engaged.
Engaged?
Shouldn't they be?
Is it correct for people
to be getting engaged
during office hours?
It is correct.
Because what we need most of all
is more cadres.
Well?
I knew it!
Congratulations.
I'm Homola,
Cyril's best friend.
There's nothing heroic about that!
– And you knew about this?
– Of course.
– How?
– I asked him!
And he told you, just like that?
Wouldn't you, if one asks nicely?
Me? Of course!
See how easy it is to harm your fellow man,
the most valuable thing there is.
Because all who think that
there are no love stories in socialism,
are wrong.
There is love.
Love happens in the noise of the cranes,
and the noise of the bulldozers,
and even here, at our quiet, peaceful
administrative front.
It would have been easy
to trample on this fragile flower,
if man were not in the forefront
of our efforts.
From among all the treasures of this earth,
all the treasures...
all the treasures...
– Yes, we need satire...
– ...like bread.
... like salt! But who is salted
by this satire?
Who is salted?
We are! Our youth!
Is this some youngster?
It is, but a bad one!
Is our youth bad? No!
This is a film targeted at the
Czechoslovak Youth Union.
I don't understand.
Where do such cadre people live?
They lived yesterday. But today?
I think this is provocative.
Including the lack of heating!
Or other characters too, such as...
– Such as Kvasnička!
– Kvasnička!
How many such sad cadres
are to be seen in this film?
Don't we still have such men today still,
men burdened by personal issues,
sad, unhappy, timid men?
We do.
But... I feel sorry for them.
Is it necessary to attack
such inconspicuous people by satire?
Is it honest to ridicule their sorrow?
Think about it.
I knew it!
I suggest we proceed to the next one.
So are we against?
AN EXEMPLARY CASE
Olinka, let's go!
Write!
The Bottom Puddle cooperative
is making fine headway.
Underscore. Got it?
Excellent!
Thanks to their type-four cooperative,
the people of Puddle
are done with the sowing this spring...
Narrow-ridge sowing?
Naturally! Narrow-ridge...
Half a day faster than last year.
– Got it?
– Got it.
Now! The idea of the cooperative...
... let deep roots in Puddle, right?
Of course! You're amazing!
The example of Puddle made an impact?
Sure it did, a mobilizing impact
in the whole county...
Yes?
Yes, he's here. Please.
To the boss!
Finish it, Olinka.
And don't forget the corn!
Corn, hectare yield, work units.
The people of Puddle are buying Spartaks
and TV sets. What else?
Olinka, you're growing.
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
– Honor. What is it?
– What have you got for Page Three?
The cooperative in Bottom Puddle.
Increasing quality and sowing.
– Narrow ridge?
– Naturally!
The idea of the cooperative let roots?
Deep roots!
Corn, TV sets, bikes...
Wrong – automobiles, but all else I got.
– Štrich, what is the press?
– It's a weapon!
– What kind of weapon?
– Aggressive.
– And what are you doing with it?
– I fight.
– You fight?
– I fight!
No, you're idling.
You're missing life!
But... improving quality
and sowing...
You're at the rear.
You don't have any guts!
The nation wants to read about
the burning hot topics!
What's burning?
– You don't get it.
– I don't.
What should it be about?
About something exemplary.
I get it.
– And what about?
– What about...?
Some issue.
Some key issue of our lives!
You should've told me right away!
About flats!
– Flats?
– Of course!
It is an issue that's exemplary,
that's key, and it's hot!
Very well then!
But I want an exciting life story.
It has to come with a name and surname,
look like that and that, be...
– ... from there and there...
– there and there...
– a specific, and exemplary case.
– Will do!
I'll go after it to the end of the world!
So much talk for a report about
the shortage of flats.
I'll write it with my left hand and watch
the game on the side.
What are our Puddlers doing?
Just landed a victorious position
at the helm of the county!
At the helm?
At the rear! The Puddlers are out!
What is the press?
A weapon.
And what am I?
A fighter.
I'm back in an hour with a...
a bourgeois journalist would say:
a bombshell report!
– Where're you going?
– To the end of the world,
the North Pole Post Office.
The flat shortage?
Point no. 1: Flat shortage
according to Engels. No quotes.
Point no. 2: Caring for people
according to the guidelines.
Olinka will spread it out
to three paragraphs.
Point no. 3: A specific, exciting example
with name and surname.
What an exciting, specific case!
He has a name, and surname, and all...
That would be quite a story!
The old man is right, life is slipping
through my fingers.
Where were we?
Point no. 4: Courage!
No fear then.
But... the end of the world
is very far away
and I would miss the deadline.
After all, you search abroad,
you find at home.
People live here too.
Do they suffer from flat shortage?
Sure they do.
So what's the problem?
Comrade Kasnička! Congratulations!
The luckiest man in Bratislava!
Sooner or later,
everybody gets married!
It's easy to find a woman.
But getting a flat! We're moved,
the whole office!
Really?
We feel: our man got lucky
like he deserved.
– You're too kind...
– Kind, kind...
– So tell me, how much?
– Excuse me?
– In an envelope, or just the cash?
– Excuse me?
And who did you go to?
– Don't worry, I'm totally discrete.
– Excuse me?
No matter, I was joking,
you know me.
– Cadre Department...
– Second floor, 25 to the right.
Who's that?
And what for to the Cadre Department?
What's it about?
It's about fellow man.
It's always about fellow man.
What's it in reference to?
In reference to a specific,
exemplary case.
A case that everyone knows,
and which needs to be defended.
– Is that clear?
– No!
It's about flats!
Don't you have a remarkable case?
So you've heard too?
We hear about everything.
Our finger on the pulse of the time.
Then what do you want
if you already know?
Knowing isn't enough!
The case needs to be explored!
We need to delve inside,
get to the core, look at the roots!
So Kvasnička is turning into a sensation.
Not a sensation!
He'd become a sensation
in the bourgeois press.
But for us, comrade Kraslička is...
– Kvasnička.
– Whatever.
The human story matters, and we'll throw
the sharp light of criticism on it.
At its side, we draw the pen against
all things evil,
– all things old, all right?
– Absolutely.
And where is this case?
Administrative Department,
fifth floor to the right.
All right!
Here we go!
An exciting, exemplary case?
Probably a downright classical case.
And now, courage!
Olinka, note: The heritage
of unkind times.
Underscore. Let's go.
How much longer can we suffer
certain facts in the housing department?
Question mark.
At an unspecified office,
we meet administrative worker,
Cyril...
Kvasnička. Period.
His case has caused an outrage
among his coworkers.
That fits, Olinka, right?
New paragraph.
The flat is airy, but the case must be
critically aired.
Aired.
Comrade Kvasnička?
No, I'm Štróbl.
Everyone can tell you.
I'm not Kvasnička, am I?
Here it comes!
I knew it won't just go like that.
Of course, that's why I'm here!
– From the Housing Bureau?
– Why from Housing?
Then what do you want from him?
Facts! The real basics of the case.
People should learn the whole truth.
Finally a man's word.
It's scandalous what happened
to Kvasnička.
Scandalous? That's too general.
Be more specific! How many applications
has he submitted?
How many rejections has he received?
How many years has been applying for a flat?
Note! Twice.
He's been there twice. First, with the forms,
and then to pick up the keys.
The keys?
– I don't understand.
– Who does?
That is, what?
He applied, and he got a flat
in three weeks.
He got a flat?
One bedroom, brand new!
– With a lift!
– And central heating!
– And a telephone!
– With a view of the river.
Isn't that enough?
Yes, that's quite enough.
Kvasnička is at the Accounting Dept.
I'm Štróbl.
Go at them!
That would be something – apply for a flat
and just get it, like that.
– Where are we?
– In hell.
The exciting case went to hell.
Some Kvasnička comes, applies,
and gets a flat.
What's hot about that?
But who gets flat in three weeks?
Only an excellent worker.
An inventor!
An innovator of the administration!
That's fantastic!
Štrich, you're one lucky man.
An exemplary case!
Olinka, note!
The advantages from the Housing Dept.
worked out well for Cyril Kvasnička,
an exemplary worker
of our administration.
New paragraph. We visited him
at a new, cozy building,
warmed by a family atmosphere
in a new type household. Period.
Humble, but proud Kvasnička
lives an increasingly happy life.
And it's done!
Where's Accounting?
– Ground floor, number seven.
– Ground floor.
What's all the talk for?
Someone made an exception for him!
No way! Search for the woman.
There are women at the Housing Dept.
Kvasnička, and women!
He bribed them!
His pockets are empty, poor man!
Then there's only one answer.
Oh yes, this will end badly.
In prison, gentlemen!
– Where is he?
– Kvasnička?
May I be so brave, please!
A man without a record,
leading an honest, quiet life...
... no cards, no liquor...
– ... what verdict could he get?
– Even the rope!
So which one is Kvasnička?
Sorry, he's never been here.
Is this the Accounting, or not?
Yes, but this is Financing.
Kvasnička is at the Payroll.
And where is Payroll?
– Right here.
– Where?
Here.
Fourth floor.
Damn the man!
Have you heard?
Didn't I tell you there's a woman
behind it?
– A jealous husband.
– A jealous husband?
Jesus Christ, this is about honor.
– Honor?
– The honor of the office!
The office? Let's do something then!
Do what?
Let's go!
– Let's go!
– Let's go!
Payroll? Is Kvasnička there?
Thank God! No, something worse!
– A jealous husband.
– He's dangerous!
Yes, watch out!
– Traces...
– Remove all the traces!
KVASNIČKA
HONORARY MENTION
6.70. They were out of cucumbers.
What's going on?
Where's Kvasnička?
Welcome, I'm Bázlik.
Have a seat.
– I have to...
– Of course, we're with you.
– Have some water, it's fresh!
– Thank you.
It's just that...
We know about everything
and we agree.
But Kvasnička didn't mean it,
there must be an explanation!
An explanation for what?
Have some water, it's fresh!
No water, give me Kvasnička!
You mustn't hurt him,
he's a good man.
Why would I hurt him?
I'll put him on third and off he goes.
– He doesn't deserve that.
– He does.
If all's true.
People gossip...
They should better keep quiet.
Quiet?
Tomorrow, the whole country will know.
I agree! It's such a shame!
Shame?
Shame and a deadly sin!
Have some water, it's fresh!
You beat sin by a burning sword!
Well, okay, maybe he'll go on Fifth.
But now I want to know
where Kvasnička is!
– At the archive.
– Where's that?
Downstairs, in the basement.
The basement.
– Good God!
– Lord hear us.
– Is anybody there?
– Yes, sir.
Have you seen comrade Kvasnička?
That's me.
You're not serious!
Quite serious.
– You got a flat in three weeks?
– Of course.
Why?
What do you mean why, please?
Are you an excellent clerk?
An innovator?
Me, an innovator?
Then, do you participate in some
organizations?
Not since I got married.
Are you at the Youth Union?
Take on extra work?
Are you a striker?
For Red Star!
– I'm sorry, but...
– Not even that?
Okay, then it's some uncle!
I do have an uncle, please.
– At the Housing Department?
– No.
He works at the cooperative,
he looks after the cows.
Alojz. I also have an uncle Ferenc...
You got a flat thanks to uncle Ferenc?
Oh, no.
Milka and I got married.
We applied for a flat and
got a positive reply.
Quite normally, please.
Normally!
What do you mean?
I read in the papers...
The papers, the papers...
If you had nine kids!
Or if you were somebody!
Or if you were somebody!
No, please.
– And they gave you a flat!
– Yes, please.
You see! Where's the logic?
Excuse me?
Listen, man! You got a photo?
– A photo?
– Glossy. 13 x 18.
– What for, please?
– For the Third!
You don't get it?
You're an exemplary case!
An exemplary case.
Štrich, You'll never be a journalist.
What did you write again?
An exemplary, specific case!
Nonsense!
You come up with sensations like
the burgeois press!
A flat in three weeks?
And where did you find this Cyril?
Good he's not called Methodius!
But it's true!
You want to know the truth?
Look, the mail. All about flats!
I've been waiting for five years,
I've applied three times,
I sleep on my desk...
It's true!
It's true,
but so is this.
Hell, what is exemplary then?
Exemplary? Three years at the paper,
and you don't know?
Cyril and Milka Kvasnička,
an exemplary case of newlyweds,
struck by a portent of communism.
My case can easily serve
as an exemplary bureaucratic attitude
to a citizen.
Respectfully yours,
Matej Valach and family.
Damn!
It's not that easy!
What do we have for Page Three?
Where were we?
The locals of Puddle at the helm...
At the helm...
Thanks to their diligence, zeal,
and collective spirit.
– Got it?
– Got it.
– May all cooperatives...
– In the whole county or region?
No, the whole republic.
... learn that the only correct road...
the only correct road...
I protest!
I protest!
That's nonsense!
To get a flat in three weeks!
That's no story for a satire!
That calls for a positive film,
constructive, and optimistic!
I've been waiting three years for a flat.
And I know people inside.
That's a satire!
I support exemplariness.
But to get a flat in three weeks,
that's too exemplary.
I just don't believe it!
What are we here for?
Note in the resolution:
The committee unanimously suggests
the filmmakers,
to make Kvasnička wait longer
for his assigned flat
from three weeks to two...
– Make it three.
– ... to three years,
in order to enhance authenticity
and realism of the story.
That's first.
Second,
Since waiting for a flat is not exemplary,
the committee advises to rename
The Exemplary Case
to an Unexemplary case.
– Happy?
– Quite.
Please!
Are we all for it?
Stop!
Stop! Stop!
Comrades, unexemplary case?
Doesn't it ring a bell?
But, what isn't exemplary, isn't true.
Which one of us will take the risk
of releasing a film about such a thing?
– I knew it.
– How good we're here.
– So are we against it?
– Let's go!
– Let's go!
– Let's go!
– Let's go!
– Let's go!
A GENEROUS CAMPAIGN
Thank you, comrades.
Our next meeting is on the 12th.
Strange things? In my company?
Impossible, comrade commissary.
We're exceeding the plans,
the workers are competing in results,
even after work!
Does it mean that here...?
And you haven't heard about it?
Unfortunately, I admit,
it's spreading,
like woodworm, across the factory.
– How?
– Like a flood!
But I'll take measures.
I'll face this.
From this day on...
That's not what I meant.
People have all kinds of addictions.
But there are cases...
No, comrade commissary,
I know what my duties are.
Rest assured, I'll take care of it.
We'll roll out a generous campaign.
Enter!
– He's not here yet?
– Yes, he is, sitting over there.
A cactus. That was you?
This is from me!
Triplesec?
Champagne, gin.
Oh my! We'll perform well today!
Hush!
Antošíková? All clear!
She's gone.
– In my factory!
– What?
Careful, so it won't pop.
The bottle knows when.
Not here yet?
Office of Comrade Kurina.
No, not here yet.
We're expecting him.
Engineer Martvoň.
Excuse me?
Is he here yet?
Very well. Right away.
We got a problem, just now.
The director is back,
we're to see him.
– Now?
– Now.
Antošíková!
Let's go!
Comrade Kurina is not here,
he wasn't here and he won't be here!
Comrade Antošíková...
Leave me alone!
Comrade Kurina is not here,
he wasn't here and he won't be here!
He's celebrating his name day today.
Honor work!
Honor work, comrade.
No, he's not present.
I know that!
You'll substitute for Comrade Kurina
in a serious matter!
I'll substitute.
I'll substitute!
Comrades...
Plum brandy or cognac?
Nothing! Not today.
Thank you, you can go.
I'm coming straight from the commissary.
Matters have entered a lethally
serious stage.
I'm covered!
I have a file about it from last May!
– About what?
– About super standard reserves.
I've been telling you one day
we'll be busted!
Easy for them to be busting us
down here,
when we need 150 more men...
Nonsense!
People are drinking!
The hydra of alcoholism has reached
our factory.
It's spreading like plague!
It's coming like a flood!
– That's what they say about us.
– Who does?
The commissary.
And right he was.
It's a malignant addiction...
A malignant addiction has set
its roots here.
Then it needs to be uprooted!
Uprooted?
– Uprooted, that's right!
– Right!
What does the factory board suggest,
Comrade Srieň?
Discuss it at the plenary meeting.
A union representative, a cultural brigade
from the national theatre,
people will vote for the resolution
against drinking...
... against drinking.
I... suggest a lecture with slides.
We need to explain to people
scientifically that alcoholism is...
Such a matter needs to be placed
in expert hands.
Give it to women!
We'll set things right!
I could point my finger right now.
More delicacy, Comrade Antošíková!
What are the chicks have to do with it?
What did you say? Chick?
You have me for a chick?
We'll show you what chicks are.
Someone's going to pay for this!
I'll give you chicks!
We'll roll out a generous campaign.
In the whole factory, a generous campaign
against alcoholism.
That's our agreement with
comrade commissary.
– We'll investigate the...
– ... disturbances.
... the disturbances, first,
we'll set up an anti-alcoholic
committee, second
and third, we'll take strict measures
against those concerned.
But, who are those... concerned?
That's your responsibility now,
to name those concerned.
I'm counting on you.
But don't go around beating on a drum.
It's a delicate matter,
take it person by person.
And don't forget, a generous campaign!
Of course! Who would go around
with a drum?
Delicately, person by person...
we'll investigate the cases and
those concerned...
Damn you! All these men and
none concerned!
Not one concerned? Hooray!
Here! Klušťák!
He used to show 180 per cent performance,
and now...
he barely meets the standard.
Such a talented man and
he's ruining himself.
Got him! Klušťák is absolutely concerned.
Comrade Srieň also found his
concerned person
although there are none of those here.
Of course, young Kolár.
Yesterday, he got into a fight,
he broke a mirror,
and today... he's absent.
What can we do,
Kolár has such temperament.
He's concerned from head to toe!
Zurvalčík hasn't found one concerned!
Triplesec? Where did you get it?
Me? I just found it, in the trash.
The trash? You'll get a taste of that!
Sorry, I'm in a hurry, tomorrow!
Flow, my tears I'm shedding...
I had a lover, now he's gone!
He told me he loved me,
– and he broke ...
– He broke his promise.
Flow, little brook, silently...
Tomatoes!
And for the others?
NO ENTRY
He beat his wife,
the neighbors saw.
And he drinks?
In an excellent, magnificent,
notorious manner.
Klušťák.
– What's his job?
– He works at the locksmith workshop.
A worker then?
And this is what you, an engineer, found?
Such a delicate matter, and you,
a representative of the intelligentsia,
propose to start with the working cadre?
Tell me, is that politically tolerable?
Tell me! See?
Or Kolár.
True, Kolár can get really hammered.
But where do we find such a one,
with his qualifications?
A sportsman, a cultural manager?
And mainly, the guy is funny.
I'm not waiting any longer. You?
I left my... hat.
Better nobody than Kolár.
We need every single person!
And you, Comrade Zurvalčík?
Nothing!
Damn it, is there not one worthy booser
whom we could submit to
exemplary punishment?
Are you trying to tell me nobody drinks
around here?
Well, people do drink, but...
Triplesec!
Who?
Who?
You don't know fun!
You're all cheapskates!
Antošíková!
What idiot brought it here?
Comrade engineer Martvoň.
– Only this?
– No.
Bottles too.
And where are they?
The boose?
In accordance with the resolution
of the meeting with Comrade Director
regarding the anti-alcoholic campaign
at our factory...
– Are you drunk?
– Me? Drunk?
Where did you put all the boose?
I gave it to Kvasnička!
Really! Drunk!
So you are the...
Cyril Kvasnička, please.
You know there's no drinking allowed
at the factory?
I do. Actually, I think
that there shouldn't be any drinking...
at all whatsoever.
Shouldn't be, right.
– So why did you?
– Me?
– My wife ordered me to...
– Your wife?
... to bring empty bottles.
– Empty bottles?
– Yes, empty.
Yesterday we made tomato preservatives
for the first time.
Tomorrow we're making plum jam.
Jam! Carry on with the jam, then,
and give my regards to your wifey.
Wait!
Here, now go.
Thank you, we've already made some.
Out!
I'm sorry, please.
– Honor work!
– Out!
I'm here, please!
Where are the bottles?
They're gone, except for the one
from triplegin.
It's at the Comrade Director's.
Triplegin? At the director's?
Comrade Director Deputy,
don't go there!
The campaign is against it...
He's drunk too. Hammered!
They got him.
What will Comrade Commissary
think of us?
What am I going to tell him?
Not even empty bottles should be
taken out of the factory.
Nothing should be taken out.
– Nothing?
– If you look at it that way...
Is there anything taken out of the factory?
Well, one takes bottles, another...
who knows.
Have you seen anybody?
I did not.
But Comrade Zurvalčík,
good thing he's pointed it out!
If Kvasnička wanted to, he could
carry things in his briefcase.
But he's a dork.
In his briefcase?
In his briefcase? Carry?
Here you are!
Scoundrels!
Jožko, it's my nameday.
You're not?
Swear you're not surprised!
Jožinko, come on!
What's going on here?
Pour!
We're fooling around with alcoholism,
which is practically non-existent
at our factory,
while some Kvasničkas are taking
things from the factory?
Stealing from the factory?
Carrying things in their briefcases?
Well... if we look at it
from a vigilant point of view,
mainly because the bottles weren't his,
a fact is that...
Stealing of national property.
That's it!
Immediately, we'll initiate
a generous campaign
against the stealing of national property.
And we'll start right away!
It means searching for those concerned.
What does Kvasnička do?
Assistant stock-keeper.
We'll start by exemplary punishment
of Cyril Kvasnička.
Very good!
And we'll postpone the campaign
against alcoholism,
until a more suitable constellation arises.
A campaign against alcoholism?
That's all you need, right?
You are lucky.
I hope you're not stealing
national property.
I hear there's a lot of fun over there.
Fun, in our factory?
I heard the workers chased away
some Klušťák from the workshop,
because he came to work drunk.
Chased away.
Klušťák was chased away.
The generous campaign we rolled out...
And somebody was excluded
from the Youth Union.
What's his name?
Kolár from accounting...
Sure, excluded, of course!
We prepared further radical measures
within out new campaign.
For example, a certain Kvasnička...
And you tamed that deputy of yours?
Kurina? A delicate matter.
I have had several conversations
with him,
but the method of convincing...
I'll take care of that too.
There are things that need to be seen to
directly and decidedly!
So you're still the good old Puc!
Good old, Comrade Commissary.
Comrades, I love satire.
I'm sorry, I can't wait any longer.
My name is Kvasnička... the author.
– You are the...?
– Author!
Now I'll finally know!
Where did you find those women?
It's a film against our women!
Are these the representatives
of our healthy, honorable,
progressive women?
Women! How come all they do is drink
at that factory?
And steal! Who finds that funny?
The class enemy!
A commissary in a film satire!
It's clear what they'll think abroad.
Who would find
Comrade Commissary funny?
But, friends!
That's what's brave and new.
I agree with all my heart,
that our art should criticize commissaries.
I say, why not go higher?
Yes, that could be done,
because our satire
should be scared of no commissaries
or even
I'm sorry, it's my first piece,
the first timid attempt...
That's right!
Timid. That's what the problem is.
You should go higher, my friend!
Against our women,
against the Youth Union,
against the liquor industry, etcetera.
You lack civil courage!
You should rather write something
about the social illness.
We need that as we need bread.
– Are we against it?
– Against.
I...
Should you need help, ideas, material,
come to me, as if I were your
own father.
I love satire.
It's the salt of our art!
I'm sorry, please.