CatDog: The Great Parent Mystery (2001) - full transcript
With the parent day festival going on in Nearburg, CatDog feels a little left out, so Dog talks Cat into going on a parent hunt to find their parents.
♪ One fine day
with a question on their mind ♪
♪ CatDog left
old Nearburg behind ♪
♪ Tired of wondering,
tired of feeling bad ♪
♪ Set off searching
for their mom and their dad ♪
♪ CatDog... CatDog...
CatDog... CatDog ♪
♪ Out on the road
went little CatDog ♪
♪ They're gonna find weirdos,
gonna find nuts ♪
♪ Pussycats, goofballs,
hillbilly mutts ♪
♪ They look real high
and they look real low ♪
♪ They look in places
where the sun don't go ♪
♪ CatDog... CatDog...
CatDog... CatDog ♪
♪ What are you gonna find,
you little CatDog? ♪
♪ CatDog... CatDog...
CatDog... CatDog ♪
♪ What are you gonna find,
you little CatDog? ♪
[Captioning sponsored by The
U.S. Department of Education
and Nickelodeon]
( door slams, clattering )
Dog:
Parents' Day, Parents' Day!
( Cat yelling... )
Rancid:
Step right up for Parents' Day.
( cash register rings )
You must be accompanied
by a parent.
20 bucks to share in the joy
and majesty of Parents' Day.
Dog:
Happy Parents' Day!
Dog:
Whoo! Parents' Day!
Oh, look how much fun
they're having, Cat.
Playing leap-parent...
Pin the child on the parent....
Hot potato parent...
Ah, isn't Parents' Day magical?
( crying )
Make it stop!
Isn't this great, kiddo?!
Your first roller-coaster ride!
But I'm scared!
Of course you are,
sweetie.
That's what makes roller
coasters so much fun.
( all screaming... )
Cliff:
Hey, CatDog!
Why don't you come on in
and join the fun?
Ooh, I forgot,
you ain't got no parents.
( all laughing... )
We do too have parents!
You'll see.
Thank you, keep the line
moving... come on...
Hello.
Hello, nice to see you.
( bird chirps )
( alarm buzzes )
( siren wailing... )
( bell dings )
( bird squawks )
Duh, I love
Parrots' Day, heh-heh.
Not Parrots' Day,
you simpleton.
It's Parents' Day, as in
the people who raised you
fed you, took care of you and
made you what you are today.
Duh, right-- parrots.
This explains so much.
Now go on, shoo!
You're holding up the line.
( parrots squawking )
Hey... uh... hey...
Sing along with Rancid.
♪ Parents
♪ That right, parents
♪ Tall... short... wacky...
♪ wiggly parents
♪ We're parental
through and through ♪
♪ Raising kids is what we do
♪ Feed 'em, wash 'em,
dry 'em, too ♪
♪ We are parents
♪ Oh, parents
♪ You heard me--
parents ♪
♪ Up, down, sideways,
backwards-- parents, ay,yi ♪
♪ Sometimes happy,
sometimes not ♪
♪ Some run cold, some run hot
♪ We're the only ones
you've got ♪
♪ We're your parents
♪ Bandage boo-boos,
scrapes and cuts ♪
♪ Wiping noses
drives them nuts ♪
♪ We are parents, we are
parents, we are parents ♪
( bowling pins crash )
♪ Oh, what a happy sound
♪ Parents falling
on the ground ♪
♪ And they'd rather save
their pennies... parents ♪
♪ Moody, nutty, fancy, cruddy,
we're your parents. ♪
( roller coaster stops )
Whoo! Thanks, Mom and Dad,
you're the best.
I couldn't have done it
without you.
Let's go again and again
and again.
♪ Oh, parents,
da-da-da-da-da-da ♪
♪ Where's our parents?
Kid:
It's so good to have parents.
( laughs )
Dog:
Ah, isn't Parents' Day magical?
Cat:
Yeah.
Now, if we could only
make it disappear.
Remember how we used to
curl up on Mom's nose
and Dad would sing us
to sleep?
Rock-a-bye CatDog,
on Mommy's nose...
( burps )
♪ With two tiny heads
and four sets of toes. ♪
( burps )
The only thing I remember
is that we're on our own
and we always have been.
This is the day, Cat--
the day we finally reunite
with our long-lost parents.
Dog, they're not long-lost.
They're long gone.
Attention CatDog's parents.
Hello, 10-4.
Please report to CatDog.
I'm announcing!
Paging Mom and Dad.
We're not going anywhere, we'll
be here until further notice.
Come get us!
Why do you embarrass us
like this every year?
Don't you get it?
Our parents
aren't coming.
Not today,
not tomorrow.
What about the day
after tomorrow?
Not ever!
Lube:
Hey!
Hey...!
( groaning )
Cat:
Oh, I'm not having fun.
( groaning continues )
Duh, has anyone
seen my parrots?
( Dog grunting )
Don't be
disappointed, Cat.
There's always
next year.
Hmm...
( growling impatiently )
Ding-ding.
( Cat screaming )
( crashing and beeping )
( Cat groaning )
I hate this room.
Oh, I feel a lot of love
in my parents theory room.
Love, love, love.
Mm-hmm.
Love? ( scoffs )
If our parents love us so much
why haven't they tried
to find us?
Ah, but Cat...
they are trying to find us.
But they're being stopped
by mysterious forces
beyond they're control.
For example, theory number 47:
Mom and Dad were looking for us
at the North Pole
and got frozen
in an icy iceberg.
Or theory number 119:
Mom and Dad are stranded
on a deserted island
inhabited by rabid weasels.
( weasels barking and growling )
Or theory number 78:
Mom and Dad are trapped
in a revolving door.
( gasps )
But Dog, you're forgetting
theory numero uno!
I am?
What is theory numbero uno?
Our parents haven't
found us yet because...
they're not looking for us!
Then we shall be
looking for them.
We are not going to
waste our time
looking for parents
who obviously don't
care about us
and that's final!
Don't worry, Mom and Dad.
I haven't lost hope.
( snoring and mumbling... )
Mom... Dad...
Mom, hi.
We turned out pretty good, huh?
( snoring and whimpering )
( sighs )
Well, who knows?
May be they are
out there looking for us.
( groans )
Who am I trying to kid?
Dog:
Mom... Dad...
Dad... Mom...
Coming up next
on the Whitefish
Chub Channel
Chub Chat, with your
host Chet Chubberton.
( barking and laughing )
Dog, do you mind?
( Winslow laughing )
No, he don't mind
at all.
( laughs )
He can do this
for hours.
And so could I.
( laughs )
Nothing like quality time
with my CatDog.
( rumbling )
What, what is that?
Winslow:
Hey, hey...
Eek...
This is Randolph,
your roving reporter
coming to you live from the
far regions of Yonder Land
where the giant whirlywind
geyser Old Uppenchuck
is due to erupt
within the next 24 hours.
Ooh, a sneak preview...
and I love it!
And his dad
loves it, too.
Jeez-Louise, the last time
Old Uppenchuck blew
was around the same time
youse two showed up.
Ah, seems like yesterday.
Hey, nice shoes,
funny boy.
Ah, too easy,
I need a challenge.
( rumbling )
Whoa... ( screams )
( wailing )
Whoa!
Sheesh... look at that.
A cute dog attached
to an ugly, disgusting cat.
( laughing )
Thank you...
That was the best
day of my life.
Why didn't you tell us
this before?
You never asked me.
( laughs )
If that's true, then we
must come from Yonder Land.
Which means our parents
might be...
Parents?
Don't even think
about it, Dog.
Think about what?
We're not going.
Going where?
Don't say it, Dog.
Say what?
Don't say, "We're
going to Yonder Land
to look
for our parents?".
We're going to Yonder Land
to look for our parents?
Oh, all right, we'll go.
But I'm only doing this for
you, now stop hounding me.
Hi-ho diggity!
Cat, are we there yet?
Are we there?
Are we there yet?
Now are we there?
Yes, oh, yes, Dog, we're there,
we are so there.
Yonder Land has always been
right next door.
I can hardly wait to see
Mom's smiling eyes
and Dad's slimy
green skin again.
Now pay attention.
This is map of Yonder Land.
We are here.
Old Uppenchuck is here.
Now, according
to my calculations
we should arrive there
at exactly 11:35
tomorrow morning.
Maybe we can stop
and buy a present...
No, Dog, no, no, no.
No stops, no presents,
no detours.
We're going straight through.
Dog:
"You are now leaving Nearburg."
Hmm, good-bye, Nearburg.
Cat?
Yes, Dog?
Are we there yet?
( disco music playing )
♪ La-la-la,
no CatDog in the house ♪
♪ I'm here
in my favorite house, me ♪
♪ Got the place all to myself
♪ La, la, la, la, la-la-la
♪ La, la, la...
Hey, CatDog!
We got a special delivery
thrashing for you!
Poundage due!
I... ooh...
( music continues )
Ta-da!
( grumbling )
Don't you jokers
ever knock?
Duh, I think
next time we should.
If you're looking for CatDog,
they ain't here.
They're looking for their
parents in Yonder Land.
Huh?
Well, if we can
find CatDog
we can pound them
and their lousy parents.
( all laughing )
I wouldn't mind meeting
Dog's parents...
Hmm?
So, so...
so I could pound them, too!
Cliff:
Pound the
whole family tree!
( Greasers laughing )
Ah! Time for a little tanning.
♪ I'm so pretty
♪ Tanning pretty
♪ Pretty and tan...
( tires squealing )
( excited panting )
Hello, Son.
Hiya, Cat, old boy.
( gasps ) What the...
Oh, look, Cat...
it's Mommy and Daddy.
Dog, what are you doing?
I can't see the road.
Sorry, Cat.
Oh, hello,
Mommy and Daddy.
I missed you so much.
We missed you, too.
Oh, you haven't changed
a bit, Dog. ( laughs )
Still as cute as a button.
Oh, and look over there--
it's Cat.
Dog! Do you mind?!
I'm trying to drive here!
Oh, do you boys
want to get
some ice cream?
Ice cream, ice cream,
I want ice cream!
No, no, Cat's palate
is far too discerning.
He'd prefer tuna mousse
or a whitefish scone.
Why, thank you
very much, Father.
Finally someone
in this family
who understands my
sophisticated pal...
( growls )
I'm talking to a sock!
Dog, get those stinking socks
out of my face!
( truck horn honks )
( screams )
It's okay,
Mommy and Daddy.
We can still
have ice cream.
Oh, you Mom and Dad,
you're incorrigible.
Dog!
( whispering... )
Cat:
Why didn't you do that
before we left?
( toilet flushing )
So that's how
those rascals do it.
Oh, that's got to hurt.
I found it riveting.
I hate public restrooms.
Mmm, but the mints
are good.
That's not a mint!
Oh, we've wasted
enough time here.
We've need to get
back on the schedule.
Terrific...
a freak parade.
Let's get
out of here, Dog.
Stay close.
Hey, you're going
the wrong way, man.
The mother ship is this way.
The aliens are bringing back
everyone they've
ever abducted.
Cat!
It's theory 421:
Mom and Dad were
abducted by aliens
and forced to build
lunar igloos
out of bars
of intergalactic soap.
Oh, Dog, don't start.
I told you no detours,
no sto...
Hey, ow, ow...
Dog:
Mother ship, here we come!
Cat:
Somebody... stop...
Dog:
Hi-ho diggity!
Cat: Dog, this is not
on the itinerary.
Besides, there's
no such thing as...
( zapping and beeping... )
( all gasp )
( all gasp )
( slurping )
( gulps )
( bland instrumental music
playing )
( buzzer sounding )
( all exclaim )
Male airline pilot-like voice:
Uh, welcome back to Earth.
Please exit the craft
in an orderly manner
and thank you for choosing us
for your alien abduction needs.
Daddy! Daddy!
There's Grandma!
Ah, there's
my lovin' mama!
How was space?
Oh my gosh,
I missed you so much.
How was it? Did they feed you?
Are you all right?
Dog:
Yoo-hoo, over here.
Mom and Dada CatDog.
Cat, do you see Mom and Dad?
Huh, do you, do you?
Uh, I don't know
why we keep coming to earth.
We never find anything unusual.
I told you
we're wasting our time.
Maybe they're still inside
watching the end of the
in-flight movie.
Or having trouble
with their seat belts.
Cat:
Aah...!
Open up! Help!
Let us out of here!
Dog, we're trapped!
( gasps )
( slurping... )
( laughs )
Oh, that was close.
Maybe they know
where Mom and Dad are.
No, Dog, they'll see us!
Whoa, go, go...!
( Cat yelling... )
Mom!
Dad!
Your little prides
and joys are here.
Your cute progenies.
( whimpering )
This place is
giving me the creeps.
( screams ) What, what?!
Hello, Mom, Dad.
Where are you?
Oh, parents?
Parents...
( Cat groaning
and gibbering... )
Gee, Cat,
why are you playing around
with the extra-ter-alien
spaceman stuff?
We're supposed to be looking
for our parents.
I am not playing around,
you ninny.
Alien:
There's the intruders.
Capture them!
Run, Dog, run!
( panting and whimpering... )
Surrender, Earth creatures.
Resistance is fuble, fugle...
a waste of time.
Get them.
Do something, Dog.
What are you doing?
I'm doing something.
No, no, Dog.
Do something, something!
Uh...
Whoa!
Whoa...
( beeping )
( whimpering )
( Cat and Dog yelling )
( both groaning )
Um...
( all yelling... )
Give me that,
you ninny!
( growling )
Zoom... zoom!
Uh, this doesn't
look good, Tim.
You're right, Tim,
all is lost.
We must abandon ship.
Uh... to the escape pods!
Hey, Cat, looks
like your parents search
is having a few ups and downs.
( laughs )
Winslow,
thank goodness!
We need your help!
Don't listen to them,
little blue friend.
It's an Earth
creature trick.
Don't worry, you'll
be safe with us.
What are you, nuts?
( Winslow screams )
Aah...
( both grunting and groaning )
( groaning )
Cliff:
CatDog?
( tires squeal, crash )
Where are the brakes
on this thing?
( Dog grunting )
Cat:
Terrific.
You just had to get on the ship,
didn't you?
Oh, Cat, look
at the little fish.
Hello, little fishy.
Forget about the stupid fish.
Get out of here,
you little pipsqueak.
Huh?
( screams )
( roaring )
( both scream )
( electrical crackling )
( both whimpering )
What is that thing?
It's horrible!
Cat, it's theory number 37!
Aah!
Mom and Dad got swallowed
by Bessie, the mysterious
lake monster.
We're about to be
eaten by theory 37!
Oh, great idea, Cat.
Mom and Dad,
here we come.
( whirring )
Cat:
No!
Dog:
Whoa!
Open wide, Bessie.
( gurgling yell )
Wrong way, wrong way!
( snarls )
We're about to be swallowed!
Whoa...
Duh...
Huh?
Dog:
This reminds me of how Dad
used to bounce us
around on his tongue.
Duh!
Ow, duh...
This finally
explains
why Catdog are
so freaky-looking.
Those guys are space aliens
from another planet.
We're on another planet?
I wish I had a camera.
Oh, I always knew that pooch
was out of this world.
Through the lips
and over the gums!
Fear not, Mom and Dad,
here we comes!
( screaming... )
( Cat groaning, Dog laughing )
Belly slide to the belly!
Hi-ho, Mom and Dad!
( Cat groaning )
Why me...?
Dog:
Why not...?
Why not?
( coughing and spitting )
Wow...
The majestic abdominal cavity
of Bessie the mysterious
lake monster.
Spacious, yet homey.
Mom? Dad? We're here
to rescue you
from theory number 37
and take you home!
Huh?
Hmm?
Aha!
I think
I hear something.
( rumbling, squirting loudly )
( growls )
Dog...
( sputtering )
Huh?
Mom? Dad?
Oh, there you are!
I have found you at last.
Uh, sorry, Cat.
( coughing and spitting )
This goes right
to the top of my list
of the worst things that
have ever happened to me.
( coughing )
Hmm... I guess
they aren't here.
Hey, Cat, it's
like a big bubble bath.
Whoa! ( laughing )
( sizzling )
It's not a bubble bath.
Dog, we're being digested!
It that bad?
Both:
Aah!
( both yelling )
Both:
Aah...!
( sizzling )
( Cat whimpering... )
Mom?
Dad?
And on the starboard side
you will see Catdog
in a demonstration
of the digestion
process! ( laughs )
Winslow, you got to get us
out of here.
Sorry, the tour is full.
Why don't you try going out
the back door?
( laughs )
What the...
Winslow:
Aah! Help, Mommy!
Cat, how are we going to
get out of here?
( retching )
Hairball!
No, had one for breakfast.
No, no, no.
We can make a giant hairball,
get inside
and Bessie will hack us
out to freedom.
Start shedding!
Grr...
Anchors away!
Hmm?
Come on, Dog.
Let's do it.
( both grunting... )
( gags )
( retching )
Lube:
Duh...
I hereby dub this planet, uh...
Planet.
Whoa...!
( gagging )
( retching )
( spits )
( Cat screaming )
Hey, look...
it's a shooting hairball.
Uh, make a wish.
Hey, that hairball's
got CatDog inside.
Let us pursue them
with vigor!
Cat:
Whoa...!
Cliff:
Vigor!
Reminds me how Mom used to
wrap us up in hairballs
and throw us in the air.
Enough of
your silly memories!
How are we going to
land this thing?!
( roaring )
She's...
she's breaking up!
She's bre...
( garbled )
( screams )
Whoa, oh...
Ouch!
( laughing )
Oh, that was fun!
Are you okay, Cat?
No, I'm not okay.
I just landed on
a very sharp rock and...
Aah...!
Dog:
Mm-hmm... ( sniffing )
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm...
Yeah, I got something.
Yes... uh-huh...
Effluvium...
Mm-hmm...
( sniffing )
Mm-hmm... Mm-hmm...
( sniffing... )
Yes, yes...
( sniffing... )
No, no... oh.
( sniffing )
Dog, get away
from there!
You don't know
what that is!
Sure I do, Cat.
It's theory number 2,001.
Our parents fell down
a tree hole
and were captured by a tribe
of evil mutant wood-nymphs.
Well, I guess I was wrong.
Nothing in there but
red-hot Peruvian fire ants.
( Cat screaming )
Ow, ow, ow...!
Okay, Dog, that's it!
No more spaceships.
No more lake monsters.
No more evil
mutant fire ants!
We are going straight
to Yonder Land.
Do you understand?
Okay, Cat.
Stop it! We're going!
Got ya.
Promise me, Dog,
no matter what.
No more silly
side trips.
No ridiculous detours.
I promise.
Fine. Onward.
Next stop Yonder Land.
Yonder Land here we come.
We are on the road
to Yo...
What's this?
"Welcome to Yokelburg.
"The home of happy cats and dogs
living together in peace
for 50 years!"
Dog, look at this.
Read it yourself, Bro.
I'm making for Yonder Land.
No, no, Dog, stop,
this is amazing.
Cat said no stops.
No amazing detours.
No matter what!
Forget what I said...
Stop!
Whoa...
Whoa...!
( gasps )
What is it, Cat?
Cat:
It's Yokelburg, the home
of happy dogs and cats.
Our parents could be here!
No kidding.
Let's go...!
Dog:
Yes, it's the only theory
that makes sense.
They've got to be here.
Look at that, Cat.
( Cat yelling... )
( panting )
Dog:
Getting closer.
( gasps )
( sighs )
( voices cheering )
( laughing )
( burping )
( gasp )
( chuckling )
( purrs )
Cat, it's the
happiest place
on Earth.
It's...
It's beyond belief.
Yokelburger:
Well, howdy,
friend.
( laughing )
Welcome
to Yokelburg.
We all celebrating
50 years of peace
and harmony.
Yokelburg dog:
You joining
the festivivities?
( spits )
Well, shut my mouth
and grease me up.
( in hillbilly accent ):
I sure love going to want
to join the whoop-si-do.
( grunts )
( chuckling ):
If you'll excuse us,
uh... gentlemen
we're here looking
for our par...
( bell rings )
The music's starting.
Music?
Well, don't commence
the twangings without us 'uns.
Cat ( grunting ):
Let them commence.
I mean, co...
Cat:
Please, I don't
do-si-do, remember?
( crowd cheering )
Cat, do you see
a mom and dad
catdog?
( spits )
I sees it,
but I don't believes it.
♪ Well, we used to cuss
and fight, but ain't no more. ♪
♪ Ain't no more. ♪
♪ We used to scratch and bite,
but ain't no more. ♪
♪ Ain't no more. ♪
♪ We loved to chase you
all about. ♪
♪ We lived to claw
your eyeballs out. ♪
♪ We used to cuss and fight,
but ain't no more. ♪
♪ Ain't no more. ♪
♪ We used to hate cat guts,
but ain't no more. ♪
♪ Ain't no more. ♪
♪ We used to whoop dog butts,
but ain't no more. ♪
♪ Ain't no more. ♪
♪ We loved to make you
whine and cry. ♪
♪ We longed to see you
up and die. ♪
♪ We used to cuss and fight,
but ain't no more. ♪
♪ Ain't no more. ♪
♪ Ain't no more. ♪
♪ Ain't no more.
♪ Ain't no more. ♪
♪ Ain't no more.
♪ We used to cuss and fight,
but ain't no more. ♪
♪ We used to chomp you
on your tail. ♪
♪ We yanked them whiskers
till you ailed. ♪
♪ We used to cuss and fight,
but ain't no more. ♪
♪ Ain't no more. ♪
♪ We used to cuss and fight,
but ain't no more. ♪
( music ends )
( crowd cheering )
( gasps )
It's Mom and Dad.
We've found them
at last.
But it, it can't be.
They're, they're
country-western singers.
I reckon it's theory number 76.
Dog:
One day, Momma and Daddy were
a-wandering through the forest.
What an absolutely splendid day.
Right you are, Darling.
Mother:
Perfect
in every way.
Dog:
And they got hit on the head
by a big old jaw-rattling tree.
( father grunts )
Dog:
And gosh darn it.
When they woke, they thought
they was country singers.
Yee-haw.
That is the
silliest thing
I've ever heard.
But I have to admit
the eyes don't lie.
I always thought
they'd be rich,
though.
At least
upper-middle-class.
( sighs )
I guess hillbilly
parents are better
than none.
( all spit )
How do I look?
Are my whiskers
straight?
I want to make
a good impression.
( chuckling )
Let's a-go tell them
their babies are back.
Cat:
Say, we could always hit them
on the head with another tree
and they might think
they were something else.
( giggling )
It's worth a try.
( wolf howling in distance )
( grunts )
Next time we get swallowed,
we're going out the front door.
Hey, get a load of this.
Cats and dogs
living together?
What's this country
coming to?
Lube:
Yeah.
Duh... if only there was a clue
to where CatDog might be.
Ah.
( cheering in distance )
( bluegrass music playing )
( crowd chattering
and laughing )
Have some home-brewed
catnip-arilla, cuz.
Cat:
Hmm, now, that's
my kind of game.
( burps )
( giggles sheepishly ):
Oh.
Excuse me.
( burps loudly )
( chuckles )
( clicking )
Cliff:
Huh, CatDog's parents,
I presume.
( bottle hitting bridge
and rolling )
Shriek, you pound the mom.
I'll pound the dad.
( moaning )
I will pound the cake.
Ooh, I hope
his mother likes me.
I mean, I hope she
likes the pounding
I give her.
( cheering )
Well, thank you,
friends and neighbors.
Thank you very much.
We appreciate it.
Thank you very much...
and thank you.
( whoops )
( whistles )
Dog:
Oh, Ma, Pa!
Sooey!
Over here, it's us-- look!
Son!
Son, it's you.
You've finally
come back.
Yes, Dad, it's me.
I've found you.
( crowd cheering )
Yeah-hoo!
See, Dog, I told you
we'd find them.
And you doubted me, Dog.
Uh, no, I didn't.
But I never gave up hope,
like you did.
Cat, I never, uh...
Daddy!
Cat:
Give y'all's long-lost
boy a big old hug.
Welcome back.
( giggling )
Dog:
Hurry up.
( laughing )
Father:
Lube!
Lube, oh, Lube,
you're back.
My baby's come back--
my son, my child, my boy...
My chip off the old block.
Duh... what are you
trying to say, Mister?
I'm your daddy!
And you're my little boy.
Huh?
Ladies and gentlemen...
this here's
my boy, Lube.
( cheering )
All right.
Dog, tell me
he didn't run...
past us.
He ran past us.
Tell me he's not...
hugging Lube.
He's hugging Lube.
( weeping ):
But I was so sure
it was them.
Does that mean Lube
is our brother?
Oh, yeah.
Lube is our brother,
uh-huh.
And he's
our uncle.
And she's
our cousin.
And he's
our grandmother.
Really?
No, you numskull.
We're not related
to any of these people.
Why did I let you
talk me into coming
to this place?
I told you we wouldn't
find them here.
Imagine me, related
to hillbillies.
( shuddering )
Okay, so much for theory 76.
But there's more
where that came from.
Let's put them back
where they came from
so they'll be safe.
Ooh, that tickles.
Gee, Pooch,
that's too bad.
Yeah, too bad.
We was looking forward
to pulverizing you and them
in a double-hitter.
Cat:
Well, we're sorry
to disappoint you.
That's the one, Pa.
Him-- he burped
right up in my
little old face.
Lube's father:
Hang on a minute.
Did you burp
in my pretty little
girl's face, boy?
Well, of course
I didn't.
Dog:
Yes, you did,
I even smelled it.
Dog.
( laughs )
Well, hot dog.
Well, you know
what that means.
Oh, uh... actually,
I'm unfamiliar
with your quaint little customs.
In these here parts,
darling, if y'all burp
in somebody's face
that means you got
marriage on your mind.
( burps )
Aw, gee, Cat.
I didn't know
y'all wanted to
get married.
I sure do wish
our parents was here.
( gasps )
Get married?
( echoing ):
Get married?
They's a-going to be a wedding.
Now you gone and did it.
Hey, Brown Eyes,
maybe this could be
a double wedding.
That's a great idea,
Shriek.
Hey, who wants to marry Shriek?
I will.
Marry me.
I'll take her.
I'll split her
with you.
( growling and roaring )
( giggling ):
Aren't you as happy as me,
Honey Pie?
( giggling )
( gasps )
Let the hitching begin.
Yee-haw.
( Cat moaning )
( shrieking )
( panting )
( grunts )
Cliff:
Psst.
Hey, Cat.
Give her a big smooch for me.
( laughing )
( makes kissing noises )
( Cliff laughing )
Ahh, that reminds me of Dad.
He didn't have any teeth,
either.
Minister:
Is there's anybody here
who knows a reason why
these here critters
should not be hitching?
Dog.
Nope, can't think
of a thing.
Dog!
All righty, then.
That's good enough
for me.
I now pronounce you
cat and...
Winslow:
Wait a minute!
I know why these two
can't get married.
Oh, thank you.
Winslow, I love you.
They ain't got no ring.
That little
blue fellow's right.
Yokelburger:
Can't get hitched
without a ring.
( chuckles ):
Well, can't have
a wedding without a ring.
That's what I...
always say.
Maybe some other time.
Besides, we all need
to get back on that
parent search.
Winslow:
However, I just happen
to have a few rings right here.
I'll take this one.
Nice choice.
Winslow:
Don't worry, Cat.
I'll bill you.
( cackles
"Here Comes the Bride" )
( growls )
( cheering )
Winslow saved
the wedding.
Well, all right,
Winslow.
Dog, you yapping
flea bag.
I don't want to get
married, especially
to some lousy dog.
( crowd gasps )
Hey, Cat.
I'm a lousy dog.
Exactly.
And that's why
I'm in this mess.
Well, ain't that
just like a finicky,
fishing
fur-licking feline?
It sure is.
Well, at least
we clean ourselves.
Hear, hear-- good point.
Are you a-saying
we're dirty?
We don't have
to say it.
We can smell it.
( crowd murmuring and growling )
Yeah, dogs stink.
Cats are lazy.
Mangy mutt.
You hairball-hackers.
Well, you gosh darned cat.
I'm a-restarting
this here feud.
( moans )
No, you ain't,
you low-down
dirty dog.
Because I'm a-restarting
this feud.
( yells )(growls)
( snarling )
( crowd shouting angrily )
You're coming with us!
We claim the cat part!
It's feudin' time again!
( cheering excitedly )
Yahoo!
( shouting and cheering )
( cheering and applause )
We used to get along,
but ain't no more.
That's right,
you mangy mutt
and we ain't gonna
get along ever again!
( squeals )
Everybody
load up your weapons
and wait for my signal.
Yokelburger:
Yahoo!
It's feudin'
time again!
( all grumbling excitedly )
( footsteps thundering )
Pasters aplenty!
Come and get it!
( slurping loudly )
( growling )
Stop, boys.
Steady.
Not just yet.
Lousy, trouble-making dog!
Ah, you grumpy, mean old...
dung cat!
( slurp )
( gulp )
( gag )
( screeching ):
Fire!
What in tarnation?!
What is it, Pa?
Hairballs!
( screaming )
Look out!Look out!
( whistling )
( yelling )
( yelling )
( chuckles )
Front-row seats!
Ready...
aim... hack!
( all hawking )
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
They're coming!
( crunching )
( swallowing )
It's a little
scratchy at first
but it hits the spot.
( belches loudly )
Duh...
save some for me.
( grunting and groaning )
( groaning and grunting )
Hey, boys, we need
them spitballs!
Heavy on the spit!
Yes, sir!
( spits )
( clangs )
( spits )
( all spitting )
Here are your balls, sir.
Thanks, kid.
Better open 'er up a bit.
( laughing )(laughing)
Grab your balls, boys!
( gasps )
( whistles )
( breaking wind )
( loud creaking )
Catapult ready!
( yowling )
( growling )
Fire!
( missile whistling )
( shouting )
( thunderous crash )
What?!
( whirring )
( growling )
( yowling )
( angry shouting outside )
( cats slurping loudly )
I'm all out of ammo!
I'm naked
as a jay bird!
Ammo's gone!
I got nothing!
Huh?Huh?
( belching emptily )
Help.
Well, if'n you want
something done right
you gotta go do it yourself!
Chorus:
♪ Well, we used to get along,
but ain't no more ♪
♪ Ain't no more
♪ We sang that sappy song
♪ But ain't no more
♪ Ain't no more
♪ We used to smile
and be polite ♪
♪ But now we'd
really rather fight ♪
♪ We used to get along
but ain't no more. ♪
Well, I'll be darned
if he gets the jump on me!
♪ The bestest friends
you'd ever find ♪
♪ But now I'm whooping
your behind ♪
♪ We used to get along,
but ain't no more ♪
♪ Ain't no more
♪ Ain't no more
♪ Ain't no more
♪ Ain't no more
♪ Ain't no more
♪ We used to act like friends,
but ain't no more ♪
♪ You must have had me
hypnotized ♪
♪ But now I'm
scratching out your eyes ♪
♪ We used to get along,
but ain't no more ♪
♪ Ain't no more
♪ You must have
had me hypnotized ♪
♪ But now I'm
scratching out your eyes ♪
♪ We used to get along,
but ain't no more ♪
♪ Ain't no more
♪ We used to get along
♪ But ain't no more
♪ And we'll fight like cats
and dogs forevermore. ♪
( all yelling )
( stretchy squeaking )
( yelling )
Yeow!
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
( loud creaking )
( crash )
( stringy pinging )
( all yelling )
Whoa!
Yeow!
Yeow!
( CatDog yelling )
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Oh, that was bracing!
( panting )
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa!
( loud cracking )
Ouch.
( rumbling and cracking )
( all yelling )
Yar dingers!
( confused voices shouting )
You d-d-dang dog!
Downright loony, what they is!
Now look what you've done!
Yeah, you!
It's all your fault.
Hey, youse guys shouldn't
be fighting yourselves.
It was that freak of nature,
CatDog, what caused all this.
Well, I'll
be dad-blamed
if the city feller
ain't right.
Yeah, let's quit
our quibbling
and a-quarreling
and get to pounding us
some CatDog!
( all yelling angrily )
( creature growling )
Well, we got
out of that in one
piece, hey, buddy?
Doggy?
Old pal?
( laughs nervously )
Pardon?
Oh, are you
talking to me--
the lousy dog that
always gets you
into trouble?
Now, don't be so hard
on yourself, Dog.
Even though everything
that has happened to us
was entirely your fault
I... I still blame myself.
Okay, Cat,
I forgive you.
Forgive me?!
Oh, so you're
blaming me now?
( laughing )
And I suppose
it's my fault
that we're stuck
on this log
in the middle
of this river?!
Cat, for this
I forgive you also.
G...!
Forgive me also?!
You can't...!
Shh, shh, shh, shh!
( water rushing )
What? What is it? What?!
( weakly ):
Waterfall.
Oh, a waterfall.
Well, who cares
ABOUT A WATERFALL!!!!
( both yelling )
( sputtering and shouting )
( giant toilet flushing )
( metallic clanging
and banging )
( voices babbling )
( metallic clanging )
( rumbling )
CatDog:
Whoa...!
( Cat coughing
dramatically )
Buddy!
( gasps )
Cat, look!
It's that place
we saw on the news!
What?!
Our parents
live here.
Ahh...
Ahh... again.
All right, now,
let's not get
ahead of ourselves.
We have to proceed
in a cautious
and orderly fash...
Hi ho diggity!
Oh, wow!
Oh, Mom! Dad!
Oh, Mom! Dad!
We're here!
We're here!(yipping excitedly)
Come out, come out,
wherever you are!
Mommy and Daddy!
Ow! Stop it!
Please! Please!
( screeching )
"Old Uppenchuck."
Ah, we've stopped.
Good!
Look, look, Cat!
I bet they're
waiting for us
right behind those rocks
with a big
"Welcome Home" party
with ice cream cake
and balloon animals
and "pin-the-tail-
on-the-Mama-Papa"
and mimes!
What are you talk...
Hi, ho, mimes!
What are you
talking...?!
Mom and Dad,
yay, yay!
Mom, Dad...!
Ta-dah!
Your boys are finally...
here.
( disappointedly ):
Oh...
Cat, they're not here.
For once, I think
you're right.
Cat...
Oh, let me guess.
It's on to theory
number 6 billion and 52.
No.
Well, no more
theories, dog.
Okay.
Don't argue with me!
I won't.
Looking for our parents
was a dumb idea.
Right.
Let's just go home.
Go home?!
Did you say
"go home"?
But, but,
but, but...
what about the rest
of your theories?
Theories, theories.
My theories
are stupid.
Don't say that, dog.
No!
I mean, well, they
aren't all stupid.
Here, like this one,
for example
with the Jell-O
and the flamingo...
flamingo dancers?
Okay, maybe
not that one
but I'm sure there's
something here.
Here, let's find one.
Cat, forget it.
I don't want
to look anymore.
You mean quit?
You can't quit!
I'm the quitter.
I know.
I wish I was
more like you.
No, you don't.
The truth is...
I wish I was
more like you.
( growls )
I wish I had
your dogged determination
to chase after something
you believe in.
Oh, like garbage trucks?
No, Dog.
I'm talking about...
our parents.
You never
gave up hope
that they were out there
and that they do
care about us.
Until now.
But I won't let
you give up.
Now, we... we may
not find them today;
we may not find
them tomorrow
or the next day...
What about the day
after the next day?
Any day, dog...
it doesn't matter.
The point is,
someday
we are going
to find them...
But no matter what,
we are brothers
and we'll always
have each other.
( sniveling )
Oh, cat!
Come here, you!
( whining and moaning )
But... let's
just keep
this little moment
of sappiness
to ourselves, okay?
( loud rumbling )
Sounds like this
place is getting
ready to blow.
Let's get out of here.
Right behind you, brother
who I'll always have
no matter what.
Today, tomorrow,
the next day
the day after the next day!
( panting )
( screaming )
Cat:
Help, help, help!
Stop it!
Let us go,
let us go!
At least,
let me go.
Oh, please,
let any dogs
out first!
Help!
Do something, Dog.
Sic him, sic him, sic him.
( sweetly ):
Hi-ho diggity!
Mommy, Daddy!
I finally found my boys.
Oh, what's
for dinner?
Are you insane?
It's got
four eyes!
Male voice:
Well, actually
two of them are mine.
( gasps )
Slimy, green skin.
Frog:
Oh, so I suppose
you're too grown up now
to give your old man
a hug, huh?
Dog:
I'm not, Dad.
Mom's four eyes...
Dad's slimy
green skin.
Wait a minute!
You're our
parents?
but you're a...
and you,
you're a...
not a CatDog.
Dad:
Nothing gets past you,
does it, genius?
We found you
when you were just
a little baby CatDog
right out on that ledge.
Then you're not
our parents?
Dad:
Well, let's see...
we raised you,
fed you, loved you
and made you who
you are today.
Dog:
Oh, that sounds
like parents
to me, Cat.
Then where did we come from?
Well, dear, we
really don't know.
Heck, we
don't know
where your mother
came from, either
but that
doesn't matter
because she's
your mother
and you're our boys.
And you always
have been.
Mom:
Those were such happy times.
( baby CatDog squawking )
Dad:
Okay
uh... let's see...
Oh, forget it.
Dad:
♪ Rock-a-bye, CatDog,
on top of mommy's nose. ♪
♪ Two tiny heads,
and four sets of toes... ♪
Whee!
Whee!
( laughing )
Mom:
And then came
that horrible day...
( rumbling )
( screaming )
Hang on, baby cakes.
( gagging )
Hold on, hold on.
( screaming )
( echoing ):
No!
And we've been searching
all over the world
for you boys ever since.
See, Cat, I told you.
But the strangest things
kept happening to us.
We was frozen in
an Arctic glacier;
marooned on an island
of rabid weasels;
abducted by aliens;
swallowed by
a giant lake monster;
captured by a tribe of
evil mutant wood nymphs;
and we even thought
we was country and western
singers for a while.
♪ Oh, we used
to fuss and fight ♪
♪ but ain't no more
Both:
♪ We used to scratch and
fight, but ain't no more. ♪
I'm going
to scratch you.
Mom:
Oh, Dog.
Oh, for the
love of chub.
Oh, for
the love of chub.
Daddy!
Son!
You kept it!
Terrific!
Break out the tissues.
This is going to be a wet one.
Cat:
Oh, hi-ho, parents.
Oh, CatDog, I found you--
what the...
( screams )
A little help here.
Dog:
Winslow, we'd
like you to meet
our mom and dad.
Pleased to meet you.
Charmed, I am sure.
Your parents?
You mean, youse
actually found them?
( sarcastically ):
That's just great!
Now I suppose you're going
to be one big, happy family
living in your cozy little cave.
What about me?
What about Winslow?
My life is nothing
without a CatDog
to harass.
Don't worry,
Winslow
you can move in
with us.
What are you, nuts?
Me live in a stinkin' cave?
I don't need
CatDog that bad.
I'm out of here.
Oh, and by the way, I found
some friends of yours
that were looking for youse.
See you!
( cackling )
Lookee what we found here.
Now you're all going to pay
for starting us
to feuding
and wrecking
our town.
Yeah, yeah!
( all grumbling )
Yeah, and
where's your
parents?
I been waitin'
a long time
to meet them.
Mom:
Boys, aren't you
going to introduce us
to your little friends?
( stuttering )
( screaming )
Dog:
Hey, everybody, this
is our mom and dad.
Hello.
Dad:
Hiya.
I wish
that someday
I too will be reunited
with my parents.
My goodness gracious
at the ignorance.
Hello, Mrs. CatDog.
I'm Shriek,
but I suppose
Dog's already told
you all about me.
No, never mentioned you.
What are you waiting for?!
Let's pound them.
Yeah, we got
them outnumbered.
Mom:
Oh, my.
( gasps )
( Cliff laughing evilly )
Looks like youse
got nowhere to go.
Lube:
Yeah, you're
at the end
of the finish.
Dad:
Come on, you want
a piece of me?
Don't worry,
Mom and Dad
we'll protect you.
We sure will.
Go get them, Dog.
I'll wait here.
Good boy.
( Dog snarling )
( rumbling )
Trapped like a family of rats.
Mom:
Oh, what do we do now?
Yeah, what
are you going
to do now?
I think I know.
All right,
everybody hold on.
All right!
What a guy won't
do for his family.
That about wraps it up, folks.
( gasping )
( roaring )
Cat:
Well, Dog, there's one thing
that's apparent.
Dog:
No, two.
♪ Parents...
♪ oh, we've got parents
♪ Small, slimy, big
and grimy parents. ♪
Dad:
♪ Though we might seem
strange to you... ♪
Mom:
♪ We are parents
through and through... ♪
Dog:
♪ I bet yours are
weirdoes, too... ♪
Cat:
♪ Because they're parents.
♪ Parents... oh,
we're just parents ♪
Mom:
♪ Proud, loving, nagging,
hugging parents ♪
♪ First I cook them up
some grub ♪
♪ Climb those stairs
and in the tub! ♪
♪ Hurry up, for
the love of Chub ♪
♪ We're your parents!
Dog:
Hi-ho diggity!
Cat:
What a dream!
Mom:
♪ I've got big feet...
Dad:
♪ And I'm green,
we're your parents ♪
♪ Simply parents
♪ We've got parents!
Oh, Mama!
Oh, Pop!
♪ Will this love fest
never stop? ♪
♪ Did I mention we're
your ever-loving parents? ♪
♪ Crazy, folly, goofy
laughy, wiggly parents. ♪
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON]
♪ They found some weirdoes,
found some nuts ♪
♪ Pussycats, goofballs,
hillbilly mutts ♪
♪ They looked real high
and they looked real low ♪
♪ and they looked in places
♪ where the sun don't go
♪ CatDog
♪ CatDog ♪
♪ CatDog
♪ CatDog ♪
♪ It's been a long road
♪ for the little CatDog
♪ One fine day,
with a splash and a smack ♪
♪ CatDog finally did come back
♪ Thankful for everything
that they had ♪
♪ A huge, hairy mom,
and a little green dad ♪
♪ CatDog
♪ CatDog ♪
♪ CatDog
♪ CatDog ♪
♪ Alone no more is
the little CatDog ♪
♪ CatDog
♪ CatDog ♪
♪ CatDog...
[Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]