Case for a Rookie Hangman (1970) - full transcript

A CASE FOR A ROOKIE HANGMAN

This film largely resembles the story called
"A Journey to Laputa and Balnibarbi",

which was dreamt up in 1720 by

Jonathan Swift

Should Swift be seen to have
turned over in his grave,

may his countrymen forgive me.
Pavel Juráček

Starring

Written and directed by

I. THE ROAD THERE

II. THE BALNIBARBIAN TRAP

Should you ever happen to
arrive in those parts,



you'll spot a little chapel
near the main road.

A field road branches off there,
continuing to the pond

and then climbing from the dike,
along an old tree-lined alley,

till it reaches a solitary house.

This landscape, this cheerful
country landscape,

will remind you of something.

You will remember the well,

and walk on in hopes of perhaps
meeting the barefooted girl,

whose Christian name is
forever fixed in your memory.

You cannot imagine, gentlemen,

what I'd give to be able to see you

moving along there with the certainty

that you have finally found the place

where you'll learn to stop smoking,



and live to the wise old age
of a hundred.

For I went that way, gentlemen.

And I was just as foolish then

as any one of you.

For instance, no sooner
had I spotted the bicycle

than all my worries left me.

This simplemindedness of mine
had its motive in the recollection

of the stoop of our house, which I
cannot imagine without father's bike.

And you know what I
was thinking about next?

Of Saint Bernards, gentlemen.

The trap was about to
close on me at any moment,

and I was occupied
with the stupid thought

that for 25 years now I hadn't
seen a Saint Bernard.

This reflection astounded me.

Saint Bernards, you see,
had died out.

They had vanished from the world
like the brontosaurus,

and none of us had even noticed it.

Today I can no longer say

why I did not turn back then,

and what led me ever deeper
into that bizarre house.

Naturally, I knew I wasn't in
the hallway of a grammar school,

but in a house built by a madman,

far from the alley of chestnut trees
where my school had stood.

I knew that I was no longer fifteen,
but thirty-five.

And that Markéta was no longer alive.

"Lemuel, I love you. But you
mustn't tell anyone! - Markéta"

But those who were mocking me
like this remained hidden.

They placed before me a mug,
the only one like it in the world.

So I tell you, gentlemen,

when you catch sight one day of
a chapel among the wild thyme,

for God's sake, please remember
that the road leading here

is one on which everything we've
ceased to believe in departs from us.

That girl, that drowned girl,
looked like Markéta.

She was Markéta.

But she was cold,
she was wet,

pondweed in her hair and
the hollows of her eyes.

"Sir!" I called to that unknown man,

"Wait, sir! I'm having a terrible dream,

"and you're the first person
I've met in it!"

"Little boy, wait!
I'm afraid I'll never wake up!"

It smelled there of sauerkraut
and cat's piss,

but up above there was
a last little crevice,

through which my dream
touched the world,

and the world my dream.

I went on, however,
into the darkness.

Each of us, gentlemen...

each of us has his Mrs Miller,

whose light shone on us
at the outset.

I said, "Good evening, Mr Miller.

"It's me, Lemuel.

"Lemuel Gulliver...
Lemuel Gulliver of Long Street."

But it wasn't Mr Miller.
His name was Vilém Seid.

Three days later he shot and
killed a seventeen-year-old boy.

All those faces which
emerged then from the dark,

I knew them all very well.

But they would not answer
to their names.

They didn't know me,
didn't recognize me.

Even though I kept on shouting,
"It's me! Stop it!

"Don't you know that I
was born among you?"

In the days that followed,
I ran into nearly all of them again.

They had different names.

They knew nothing at all
of Long Street.

Then I heard the sound of crying.

I recognized the voice as my own.

It was I who was crying,
somewhere nearby.

"Don't weep," I said quietly.

"It's something that can't
not happen to you.

"In a few years, Mrs Miller will
be standing in the doorway

"so as not to fail to tell you
that you're nearly a man now."

"Come back!" I called after him.

"I want to wake up, and now
I don't know how it's done."

You'll see later, gentlemen,
that little brat really did come back,

and turned me over to the hangman.

"Kájo!" I said,
"your arms grew back again?

"You can see, Kájo?
You have eyes, and a nose?

"I'll wait for you outside, Kájo.

"We'll have a beer, and I'll tell you
who cried the most at your funeral."

Yes, of course I knew that one of us
two was dead, and the other alive,

but try as I might to remember,

I could not recall where the difference lay.

Gentlemen, have you ever read of people

who go to bed in perfect health,
and wake up in the morning mad?

Have you heard of dreams where
even the coolest reason can burn up?

If so, then you'll understand

why I wished then to be
trampled under and chased down.

For there are moments when
only death can assure you

that you were alive and well and awake.

"Juditka!" I said to her.

"Where have you been
wandering these two years?

"Come home, Juditka,
there's shooting here."

As if that was what mattered,
gentlemen.

In the midst of miraculous happenings,
I was wasting time looking for the truth,

without even considering
which the world has less of.

And I picked myself up, ashamed,
and stammered confusedly:

"Good day, Professor.

"I've come to ask you
about a dream of mine.

"I dreamed that Markéta had drowned,

"because I stole a mug
full of money at home.

"I dreamed that I was left
alone in all the world,

"and that I met a hare wearing clothes.

"And that hare, Professor,

"that fully-dressed hare - I killed him."

"I am sorry, sir, but this is not a dream."

So then I stammered,

"Forgive me, sir, but...

"in that case, can you explain to me

"where exactly I am?"

"In Balnibarbi."

And that's basically everything I wanted
to tell you about those little chapels,

beside which run the roads
to our foolish desires, gentlemen.

"Who, in fact, am I,"
I thought to myself then,

"Who am I, and what do I
not know about myself,

"if someone took the trouble
to build this house in my path,

"and then wait till I got caught in it?"

III. THE ACADEMY OF INVENTORS

I beg your pardon,
but I don't know...

Excuse me...

but if you're keeping silent
for my sake...

But, gentlemen,
you must understand that I...

Hello.

I'm Reum, from the
Academy of Inventors.

I've come to get you.

Professor Beiel sent me.

What's this kerchief?

The items found with a detainee are,
in principle, divided into two groups,

the first of which we designate by
the letter A, the second by the letter Z.

Each group has as many units
as there are items assigned to it.

However, the items in group A are ordered...

according to their degree of
significance and suspiciousness.

Now then, how would we label...
this watch?

Yes, please.

Since we found in the watch
neither poison nor a camera,

nor a compass or anything similar
that would defy the ordinary,

we can assign it a number
from Z3 to Z7.

Correct.

And yet there is the possibility that
even this watch defies the ordinary.

Yes, please.

This possibility exists in the event

that there are grounds to suspect
that the item was stolen.

Then we would assign the watch
to group A.

Quite correct, thank you.

- You may continue, Krištof.
- Yes, Professor.

Please, continue.

It's quite simple.

Give that here!

Take it away!

And you go back to your seat!

Are you hurt?

You have decided to remain silent?

You can answer me with a gesture.
You know what a gesture is?

A movement, or a grimace.
You understand me?

Tell us, Miss, in which circumstances
do we conclude

that the subject under investigation
is displaying "obstinate silence"?

Obstinate silence occurs...

in subjects who are mentally
deficient, even imbecilic.

Yesterday, Professor, it was you
who were obstinately silent.

Come here, Miss.

Yesterday was Monday,
Mr Gulliver.

You may continue.

What led you to Balnibarbi,
Mr Gulliver?

A hare, Miss.
I ran over a hare.

What hare?

- Can you describe this hare for us?
- Of course, Miss.

He had corduroy trousers...

...a checkered shirt...

Whose watch is this?

Mine.

When was the last time
you spoke with Prince Munodi?

I don't understand...

- What is your name?
- Lemuel Gulliver.

Your name is Oskar.

Read it.

"To Oskar the Hare, for loyal service.
- Prince Munodi."

Now, gentlemen,
you don't really think I'm a hare?

"But look ye, people of Balnibarbi,

"that unto your progeny this
plain truth be preserved,

"that the anguish of your
humbled forebears it was

"through which,
in the bloody hour of their death,

"their minds in communality
such force engendered

"that unto the very heavens
was the stony city lifted,

"so that neither arrow nor spittle
might harm the king."

And since that time Laputa
has been hovering over the earth.

Because the will of all our ancestors
has overcome the centuries,

and holds Laputa up there to this day.

Excuse me, please.

Professor, tell me please,
who is that girl?

- Miss Gabriela.
- Thank you.

It's our national dance, Mr Gulliver.

How dare you?!

- Just where do you think you are?
- What's happening?

- Forgive me.
- It's no use.

- My deepest apologies.
- Don't be ridiculous, Professor!

I took you for a civilized person,
Mr Gulliver.

His name is Oskar!

I truly am very sorry.

Why are you apologizing?
Don't humiliate yourself.

Sir, I request that you leave
my house this instant!

Get up and get out!

What happened?
What did I do?

I've been looking for you all day.

Is it true that you know Prince Munodi?

No. I've never seen him in my life.

Dominika!

What are you laughing at?

You.

- Because he's going beat you to a pulp.
- Who is?

It's good that you were here.

He crawls into bed with his shoes on.

IV. THE HAND-CRANKED MACHINE

- Hello.
- Ah, hello!

Tell me, please, which is the way
to Professor Beiel's?

I don't know.

- And to the Academy of Inventors?
- Dunno.

Can you tell me at least
how to get to the station?

Excuse me, sir,
but I know nothing at all.

- Nothing?
- Absolutely nothing.

You shouldn't have told me this.

You see, all my life I've been waiting

for something to happen to me that
never happened to anyone before.

I look at the tower
and wait for it to move,

I come to the station
and wait for the train to arrive,

but everything happens somewhere else.

I have nothing to write about.

You know what it would mean to me

to have met that hare of yours myself?

I'd rather I hadn't met him.

That's because you are
a primitive person, sir.

Whereas I, you see...

I'm a poet.

Please, sir, pay attention.

I, too, see the sun rise
in the morning,

and set in the evening,

and I still regard this as natural.

No, no. It was spoken
with the stress on "still",

and not, as you say,
with the stress on "natural".

Or just look at how "the sun"
was pronounced this year.

"The sun" was never like this year's before.

Now really, gentlemen, "the sun"!

It's not about "the sun" at all.

Gabriela!

I'm not Gabriela.

- It's me. - What do you want?
- Nothing.

Come on.

Her, um, her brother's dead.

- How do you know?
- I just know it.

- Nobody died. She's crying just because.
- Don't say that.

You mustn't say that.

Her little brother died.

He was seven.

Mr Gulliver...

Never mind.

Why does the governor
want to speak with you?

The governor?

I know nothing about it, Professor.

Twenty years ago, the king told
an assembly of engineers:

"If today every one of our cybernetic
machines knows how to compute,

"then why, in the future, should our
sewing machines not compute as well?"

This thesis, gentlemen, enables us
to rank among computers

the pulley, the lever,
and the gear wheel.

How do you eat sausages here,
Professor?

With our hands, Mr Gulliver,
our hands.

Just a moment.

Civilians - Fighting

- with army weapons

- with farm implements

- with bare fists

- otherwise fighting

Miss! What are you doing there?

Give that here!

So this is what you call a
"civilian, wailing, cowardly female"?

Be so kind as to tell me
what's cowardly about her?

- I had the impression she was crying.
- I can see that she's crying.

But she's also wringing her hands,
Doctor.

Come here!

Is it your impression that this figure
is wringing her hands?

To me it seems more
like she's menacing.

- Mr Gulliver, this is my nephew.
- Patrik Beiel, pleased to meet you.

- This way, please...
- Thank you.

They might have realized that
I couldn't know your national dances.

- It wasn't about that at all.
- What do you mean?

You wouldn't understand.

Is it true you know Prince Munodi?

The point is that no one should have
to think unnecessarily, Mr Gulliver.

Consider how much unnecessary
thinking goes on everywhere.

Children have to think,
old people, sick people,

even people who have
no time at all for thinking.

And even those of whom
we think that they don't think.

Madmen, notorious drunkards, idiots.

All of them, without exception, think.

Once they brought me a halfwit.

He wet himself,
he didn't know how to eat,

he was incapable of human speech.

But he was thinking.

I have observed infants,

and I can tell you
that they have dreams.

But why am I telling you all of this?

Because you're going to speak
with the governor.

And he will undoubtedly ask you
about my thinking machine,

driven by a hand crank.

Thinking apparatus.

Hand crank.

Here's where thoughts are formed.

They asked me about the capacity.

I said that a healthy man attains
up to 10,000 thoughts a day.

But that was too little for them.

Then somebody had the idea of using
animal power to drive the apparatus.

They want to harness oxen, but I
won't let them - tell them that.

I will not have this machine
being turned by an ox!

V. THE GOVERNOR

This is the Matuše.
You see that color?

They say it's dyed in blood,
but in fact it comes from iron.

It was a famous river once.

What do people where you come from
think about Balnibarbi?

Do they know anything about us?

I think they know.
I think they're quite fond of you.

I'll wait for you here.

Hello.

I'm Gulliver.

Who are you looking for?

I am Lemuel Gulliver,
Governor.

- Thank you.
- Don't mention it.

Have a seat.

- It rolled away.
- Yes.

- Want to try?
- No.

No. Actually, I...

- Here you are.
- Thank you.

- Just a moment.
- No, please don't bother.

There.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Halt! Stop!

Catch them!

Halt!

Stop, you!

Stop!

Do you really know Prince Munodi?

Why, no.

Go on.

You see that cloud?

That's not a cloud.

That's Laputa, Mr Gulliver.

VI. GUARDIANS OF THE WELLS

Vilém, Mr Gulliver has still
never seen Laputa.

If they find Mr Gulliver,
it'll be your fault.

I've told you three times already
to keep going.

Go!

You had a war here?

No. Why?

...three!

That's it, and stretch your
arms out nice and straight.

Up, down... And the arms!

Stretch your arms out nice and straight.

And hold! That's right.

One, two.

Down, and up.

The arms! Stretch your arms out
nice and straight, and hold it.

Oh no, not at all!
It's no misfortune for you.

If you were in the town now,
you'd see there's a big celebration.

When I was little, I always
looked forward to it so much.

Every time I'd get a new paper lantern,

and I was allowed to wear
a lovely white dress.

Friends!

We have every possibility

of gaining control over
this extraordinary situation,

and biding the time till we
can return to our homes.

Let's not be afraid to act.

Friends, let everyone who can
come over here quickly.

It's in your interest.

Those of you who can watch
over the well, step forward.

It's urgent.

Let us know of capable men
whom you trust.

We must all realize that our situation

demands self-control and
discipline from each one of us.

There are old people among us,
and people who are sick.

There are children, too.
And we must not forget about them.

The taking of water needs to be organized.

Friends, we must ensure water
for mothers, and for our children.

We must, any at price...

We have to go somewhere else,
gentlemen. What do you say?

Laputa covers up the sun,
darkness is everywhere,

only the lanterns give light.

People stand on the streets

and look up to see if they
can spot any little lights.

Sometimes it lasts only a few days.

And sometimes even a whole month.

You talk to someone, and you don't
know what kind of eyes he has.

You only hear his voice.

And when the voice goes silent,
you'll never find that person,

because you don't know where he went.

Once, when I was fifteen,
I followed one voice

for three days and three nights.

- Whose voice was it?
- I don't know.

Laputa moved then.

The light came,

and standing around me
was a crowd of people.

All of them were now the same.

All of them.

Close your eyes...
Close your eyes and listen.

You hear?

Doesn't he seem different to you now?

How does he look now,
Mr Gulliver?

He's young and slim.

Cheerful.

He is just and wise.

And how do I look?

I was lying.
Don't be angry.

Hey!

Where are you going?

Where are you going?
You hear?

Halt at once!

- Stop, you!
- No! Don't shoot!

VII. CIRCUS MUNODI

Markéta!

I'm not Markéta, sir. You've
mistaken me for someone else.

But we spoke together
at Professor Beiel's!

I have never been there.

I saw you on the square, then.
You were crying there this morning!

I haven't cried for three days now.

But I know you!
I definitely know you!

Sir! Please wait!

I've got something to tell you!

I have... seen... heaven.

I thought it was a cloud,
but it wasn't.

It had towers.
Roofs. Windows.

It was heaven!
I saw it!

Birds were flying after it.

Hear how quiet it is?
There's not one bird left here.

Where you going?
There's nothing there.

See that tree?

Well, there's nothing anymore
beyond that tree.

Wait!

- What's there?
- A meadow!

- And after the meadow?
- A forest!

And after the forest?

A house!

Welcome, Mr Gulliver.

Why, look who's our guest!
Welcome, Mr Gulliver.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Will one pillow be enough for you,
Mr Gulliver?

Where will you go when you don't
like it here with us anymore?

I've brought you a razor.

You want to see?

It's sharp.

Shaves nicely, you'll be satisfied.

Pardon me, but I still don't know...

Are you Prince Munodi?

No, not I.

Prince Munodi is my son.

Like every year,
the traditional parades featured

all units of Balnibarbi's royal army
and Laputa's royal guard.

At the close of the festive ceremony,
the king decorated the banners

of selected units with memorial ribbons.

In the afternoon,
King Matouš the Great

visited the headquarters of the
Academy of Inventors in Lagado.

At an impromptu press conference...

That's our king, Mr Gulliver.

...of domestic and foreign journalists,
he said, among other things:

"My great-grandfather Matouš, by the
force of his will, raised the royal seat...

"...aloft, and so led Europe to
the Peace of Westphalia.

"And so...

"I, too, see the sun rise
in the morning,

"and set in the evening,

"and I still regard this as natural."

The following day,
at the invitation of the royal family,

General de Gaulle, the president
of France, came to the capital city.

This rare guest was greeted by King Matouš
the Great before the Laputian court...

Now comes Laputa.

There!

Another special guest...

Pay attention here.

Gagarin's coming up.

You know who Gagarin was,
Mr Gulliver?

Gagarin?

Yes, yes, Gagarin!

His name was Gagarin. Yuri.

...together with other foreign guests,

accompanied by members of the
Academy of Inventors, to Laputa,

where he was ceremonially received
by the king, who presented him...

Today almost no one knows
him anymore, Mr Gulliver.

You may find this hard to believe,
Mr Gulliver,

but here it used to be like
where you come from.

- We had a university.
- And a stone bridge.

- And circuses...
- We had everything, Mr Gulliver.

Everything.

I don't know anything, gentlemen.
I know nothing at all!

Mr Gulliver didn't tell us
anything about himself.

VIII. BALNIBARBIAN DARKNESS

Do you smell it, Mr Gulliver?
That peculiar stench?

How can it be, I ask you,

that as soon as a man
feels too much fear

he'll always start to stink?

I'm a foreigner!
I have nothing to do with you!

I apologize.

I haven't slept for three days,
Mr Gulliver.

People are nervous,
it's dark,

Laputa still hasn't moved yet.

Nobody knows why it came.

Patrik!

Halt! Stop!

I'm looking for Patrik Beiel.

Is Mr Patrik Beiel here among you?

They were brought in by truck,
Prefect.

- Did you talk to them?
- No.

Is it them?

Turn around.

- Is it them, Mr Gulliver?
- Yes, it's them.

This one got a bump, Prefect.
His foot slipped on the stairs.

Do you know this gentleman?

No.

It's no good.
It's pointless, Emil.

I spoke to the governor.

They already know I'm a foreigner.

That will be all, Mr Gulliver.
Thank you.

Vilma!

Wait!

Patrik!

What happened?

You hear me?

You swine!

What should I do?
Where should I go?

Just tell me, what should I do?

I don't understand anything!

I'm a foreigner!

So you ditched them, eh?

What will they do to them?

To what?

What is it you want to confess to?

My name is Oskar.

I think that until we find out
why he's confessing,

there's no point in asking him whether
he wants to confess to anything else.

That's what I think.

Read that back to us, Miss.

"Second associate judge:
I'm just an ordinary woman.

"First associate judge:
Which of us here isn't ordinary?

"What are you going on about?

"Second associate judge:
All my life I've cooked, washed,

"cleaned, taken care of children,

"and all of a sudden they call me,
and I come here,

"and I'm supposed to
send people to death, even.

"Such a thing forces a person to reflect.

"I just want to say that when
my child comes home and says:

"Mama, I did this and that,

"then I see that something's
not right with the child.

"Right away I ask myself, you know,

"why is he confessing,
when nobody's asking him to?

"Just like the accused here:
why's he confessing to everything,

"what's behind it all?

"I think that until we find out
why he's confessing,

"there's no point in asking him whether
he wants to confess to anything else.

"That's what I think."

Strike that out.

IX. THE CEREMONIAL EXECUTION

Here's one more.

But I don't have any beer left.

- This gentleman's a poet.
- I can't help it, nobody told me.

Give my sausage to the orphans,
and my beer to the widows!

Here you go, have a drink.

Two, four, six.

This won't work, gentlemen.

Don't hold it against me,
but I just can't do it!

- I understand, but...
- You understand nothing, you!

What's that woman doing here?

I won't be treated like this, gentlemen!

- Just a minute. Come on.
- Well, what? There's six of them!

I'm not blind! Six!

Your poem will be a milestone
in the literature of Balnibarbi.

You know what they told me?

That it's alien to our spirit.

If I may be so bold,
what's this poem about?

About a hare who went around
in clothes.

And so why's that against the state?

You ever seen a hare
wearing clothes in our country?

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Good Lord, toss out that cigarette!
Let's go!

What are you doing touching it?!

Calm, gentlemen, calm.
Everything's fine.

The boys will show us some exercises.
Come on...

Come on, that's right.

And the professor will explain it
to us again.

I'm through, Prefect!
I won't be insulted!

I've told you ten times already,
it's nothing!

It's just slipping a bit, that's all.

Slipping, slipping...
What exactly is it that's slipping?

Take it easy, it's nothing.

Everything will work out fine.

- The wheel? What kind of wheel?
- The retractor wheel!

What if my hand ends up in there?
What then?

Calm, gentlemen, calm.

- My advice, sirs...
- Good evening.

...is postpone it till tomorrow,
and I'll organize a gallows.

- My name is Herold.
- Wrap it up here, wrap it up!

Toss out that cigarette!

Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Tidy yourselves up...

- You won't mind if I go first?
- Get going, get going, no gabbing!

Move, move, move...

Come on now, come on.
Let's get this over with.

I'll leave you till the end, Miss,
once I see how it works.

So now, gentlemen, who'll go first?

How about you?
You look like a case for a beginner.

- No! Please, let me.
- All right, all right.

What are doing with that cat, man?
Put it away!

Come along now, come on...

Friends! Long live...

I shall die, but...

I die gladly!

Because...

Will you be proclaiming some more?

No, no more.

I don't know who you are, Mr Gulliver,
or why you came to us.

I don't wish to ask you about that.

But do you realize that you
could have been dead by now?

Yes, Governor.

You have been invited to Laputa,
Mr Gulliver.

His Majesty King Matouš
is expecting you this very day.

I'm a direct descendant of
Melchior the trumpeter.

50 years ago Melchior the trumpeter,
my great-grandfather,

was taken up to Laputa.

He was the last person...

The last person was Miss Blanka.

Miss Blanka was a slut, madam.

You needn't answer me if you
don't want to, Mr Gulliver.

But, please, do you know why
they invited you?

I thought that you knew.

And who invited you?

Do you know who invited you?

You said it was the king.

- Take care.
- Thank you.

- Farewell.
- See you soon.

Come here, come here!

Pardon me, but did you say,
"See you soon"?

Do you mean to say
you will be coming back?

And you think I'm not coming back?

Open up!
Open up at once!

Come back!
Stop! Stop!

Is someone there?

I am.

X. THE FLYING ISLAND

Excuse me...

Excuse me, ma'am!

Is anyone here?

Beg your pardon, sir,
but you'll have to go back.

I'll accompany you.

One moment, sir.

Could you show me that letter?

Forgive me, sir,
that I keep asking questions...

Have you ever been in Monte Carlo?

I have.

I will accompany you.

King Matouš the Great.

I am Jeroným of Hora, sir.
I'm the regent here.

The minister of the privy seal,
and his spouse.

My mother, the Duchess of Hora.

The Minister of Railways.

His spouse.

The Minister of War.

His spouse.

The Minister of Tillage...

We've already met.

The royal wet-nurse.

Princess Niké.

It is true, Mr Gulliver,
that down in Balnibarbi

speaking is forbidden once a week?

Yes, every Monday.

- Why? What's the idea?
- They told me it's to conserve air.

I was only there a couple of days.

It's a very interesting country.

It seems to me that nowhere in the world
does science have such an influence on...

...as it does right here.

I had a chance to see a thinking
machine, driven by a hand crank.

By what?

By a hand crank.

You see, they're thinking of
doing away with electric power.

Professor Beiel told me
that their primary concern

was that the results of scientific work

should be understandable
to the people.

Is it true, Mr Gulliver,
that you've been to Monte Carlo?

Yes, madam.

And what about... the Carlton?

- Where you in Hotel Carlton?
- Hotel Carlton?

Yes, I was.
I was there once.

And what did you do there,
Mr Gulliver?

Perhaps, Mr Gulliver, Monte Carlo
has more than one Hotel Carlton.

And perhaps you, Mr Gulliver,
were in that other one.

There's only one everywhere, Minister.
One Carlton, one Savoy, one Ritz.

Our king, Mr Gulliver,
King Matouš the Great,

lives in Monte Carlo,
in Hotel Carlton.

I was there the year before last, Regent.

The year before last, at the end of May.

But he's been there for eleven years now.

- Eleven?
- Eleven, yes.

He works as a porter, Mr Gulliver,
in Hotel Carlton.

I don't know him, Minister!
I never saw him!

Or maybe I did see him.

Maybe he opened the door
for me at night,

I gave him a franc, and that was it.

After all, I can't remember
every single doorman.

For Christ's sake, I have nothing
to hide from you.

You misunderstand us, Mr Gulliver.

We only wanted to ask
how he's getting along.

Forgive me, I'm a foreigner.

They gave me this, down below.

What should I do with it?

Good afternoon.

Will you leave, or do I
have to throw you out?

Why, no, I was just going anyhow.

Will these pillows be enough for you?

If they want anything from you,
don't even think about it!

- Did they want something from you?
- What business is it of yours?

Probably haven't gotten
around to it yet.

Take care!

"To His Majesty, King Matouš the Great.
Your loyal servant, the Governor of Lagado."

There was a hare in my bathroom.

Niké!

- Looking for someone?
- No, I'm not.

We're here now.
Above Lagado.

Come, try it out.

Sit down.

If you were the king,

you could make Laputa move now.

By force of will.

The wind governs us, Mr Gulliver.

For eleven years we've been
flying aimlessly.

Pardon me, but you're not
a minister, are you?

I'm the gardener.

But I knew the minister well.

I keep wanting to ask you,
Mr Gulliver...

What's it like in Monte Carlo,
or other places?

Can someone who's a complete stranger
go there and live normally?

A minister, for instance,
or a groom...

I think that anyone can
live a normal life there.

A minister as well as a groom.

And a princess?

And is it true that the Academy
of Inventors abolished July?

Oh no, not July.

You're thinking of November.

They really have abolished it,
due to the flu epidemics.

The king should come back.

Forgive me, Mr Gulliver.

You're probably thinking now
that Niké's not a princess.

- But she is a princess.
- She really is.

But I know...
I know that she's a princess.

If I could go down into the world...

Do you think they'd be able to tell
I'm from somewhere else?

Do you think I could live there?

I don't know, Niké.
Why not?

Maybe you could.
Only, you're a princess.

Nobody will notice that.

We won't tell anyone.

What are you thinking about?

About a little girl who wanted
to be a princess.

- What happened to her?
- She was lucky.

She drowned.

You know what the clap is, Princess?

It's an illness I've had three times.

Maybe she didn't drown.
Maybe you just got scared that time.

Maybe she stayed alive.

Maybe... you burst into tears
that time because you...

suddenly realized that she would
never be like you wanted her to be.

Maybe she's living happily somewhere,
without any idea that you drowned her.

Mr Gulliver!

Your Markéta is exactly
like you wanted her to be.

Dead.

Mr Gulliver!

Did you ever realize that
you'll never be rid of her?

Mr Gulliver!

Is it true that drowned people have...

bulging eyes and... a swollen belly?

Over here, over here!
Who's there?

- It's me.
- What are you yelling for?

I'm not yelling.

This is Prince Munodi,
Mr Gulliver.

- I spoke with your father.
- What's he doing?

Ever since I lost my telescope,
I haven't seen the old man.

He doesn't like me anyhow.

Those good little people down there,

they haven't the slightest idea

that only the staff and myself
are left in Laputa.

And so they don't find out,
I have to drink

for the whole government,
and the court!

I won't drink to anything.

You, of course, can
drink to what you like.

To love, maybe, if you can't think
of anything else.

You should take her with you.

What's wrong, Niké?

Good God, why are you blubbering?

Please, Niké, go to bed now.

But why?

I'm afraid I'll get drunk.
And I don't want you to see it.

- I'll go, then.
- Shall I accompany you?

No.

- Where are you going?
- To bed.

Really, now!

I heard a racket.

Well, look who's here.

- Good night.
- Bye!

Something troubling you,
Mr Gulliver?

What's this?

That'll be a costume, I believe.
Let's see.

Yes, a costume!

More specifically, the hussar uniform
of Vasil the Hare.

Good God, how I hated hares!

You know the old man, after all,
Mr Gulliver.

Well, can you imagine that he forced me
to perform with trained hares?

I don't know if you can possibly imagine

how terribly degrading
and humiliating it is

to be a trainer of hares.

I put up with it till I was sixteen.

As soon as I had reached that age,

I opened the cages and chased
the lot of them into the woods.

That same day,
the old man chased me out.

And what's more, he broke my jaw.

Since I didn't know how to do anything,
my only choice was to get rich.

I set up a concern in dry biscuits.

And if the Academy of Inventors
hadn't outlawed crackers,

I could have been supplying
the whole world today.

- Let me tell you something, Dominika.
- I'm not Dominika.

You're not Dominika?

- You're seriously not Dominika?
- No.

Get out.

Get out!

You hear me?

I would like to ask you a favor.

You see, down in Balnibarbi they don't
know that the king... that he's not here.

So if you could promise us that
you won't... won't tell them...

He'll come back, Mr Gulliver.
He'll surely come back.

If they should ask you anything, tell them
you aren't allowed to talk about it.

- You don't mind?
- No, I don't mind.

- You really don't mind?
- Not at all, Regent.

Please give my regards
to Princess Niké.

- Tell her that...
- I'll explain to her, Mr Gulliver.

XI. BALNIBARBIAN SILENCE

I thought they'd executed you.

Please, do you know
where I might find...

...where I might find Patrik Beiel?

Emil!

Emil!

Is that man here for me, Prefect?

The king asked after you,
Professor Beiel.

I am to say that he esteems you highly.

And for you, Professor, I have
greetings from Prince Munodi.

The king never signed a decree
on keeping silent.

You're doing it for no reason.
It's your affair, it doesn't concern me.

What do you mean, I wasn't there?
I don't get it.

Why should I have to explain why
no one's ever returned from there?

I don't know!
I, as you see, have returned.

They want nothing from you, Governor.
Nothing at all.

They haven't got a clue
what goes on here.

Perhaps they know the names of
your mountains, rivers, valleys...

At night they can see the lights
of your cities. But that's all.

They don't know anyone here.
Not even you.

They don't even know you, Governor.

You see, Governor,
I didn't meet with him.

Your king...

You king hasn't lived in
Laputa for a long time now.

He's in Monte Carlo.

In Hotel Carlton.

He's the porter there.

Where are we going?

Unlock it, Governor.

Unlock it, and we'll go upstairs and talk.

Don't just stand there like an idiot!

I know, Emil, I'll keep quiet now.

He was drunk.
He didn't say anything.

He didn't send any messages,
and he doesn't give a damn.

What do you want from me?

I've told you everything
I know about him.

He's there alone, alone,
for ten years now.

He has nothing to do,

nothing happens there,
everything's lost its meaning.

And in order to make like nothing's
changed, he drinks and drinks,

until he's drunk up
everything that the king would,

and the whole court,
and the government...

Forgive me.

Forgive me.

Forgive me!

XII. THE ROAD SOMEWHERE ELSE

The village idiot answered
to the name of Vyskoč,

and he took me from
the land of Balnibarbi.

Then it happened that
I became perplexed again,

and I turned to the idiot, saying:

"Listen, Vyskoč, is this watch running
backwards, or am I just imagining it?"

But he retorted:
"Why do you keep making a fuss?

"Isn't it enough for you to hear it ticking?"

THE END

Subtitled for KG by
steyskal