Casanova's Big Night (1954) - full transcript

This was the independent city
of Parma in Italy.

The year 1 757.

It was an era of turmoil and adventure...

murder for revenge,
passion for the sport of it.

Through the dark, brawling violence
of these troubled times emerged one man...

destined to stand alone through the ages...

the greatest swordsman in Europe.

The most notorious lover
in all the world, Casanova.

Remember me? Maggiorin,
the wine merchant from Cremona?

I have come to kill you
for attempting to make love to my wife...

and more importantly for leaving Cremona
without paying for my wine!



Please, spare my miserable life!
I'll work off the debt.

I'll make more wine for you.
I've got big feet.

What grapes I can't trample on,
I can sit on.

-I've got--
-You are not Casanova!

No, I am Pippo Popolino,
a miserable tailor's miserable apprentice.

Then why are you wearing
Casanova's crest, you fool?

I embroidered that crest myself.
No other fool can make that statement.

Why are you disguised as Casanova?

To deceive the beautiful Widow Bruni.

If she thinks I'm the great Casanova,
perhaps I can steal a kiss.

It's been so long since I've had one.

Release him!

Thank you! I kiss your cloak. I....

There, no charge.



Come.

Be gone, you ruffians,
knaves and scoundrels!

If I were the great Casanova...

I would line you up in a row...

and shish kebab!

Who's there?

Signor Casanova! Come in!

Please! At least you could
remove your mask first.

That must be the store!

Someone's trying to break
into my foodstuffs.

Casanova, please go downstairs
and see who it is.

Let them have the foodstuffs.
All the goodies are up here.

Are you afraid, Casanova?

Who, me, afraid? I'm a lover, not a fighter.

-Take your mask off--
-No, I couldn't do that.

I haven't got anything on underneath it.

I'll go. You wait here.

-I'll be right back with you.
-Casanova!

Before I chase him,
strengthen me with a kiss, Francesca.

Your lips are fire.

I know. It saves a fortune on matches.

But don't turn in the alarm.

-Turn it in now.
-I've trapped you!

Please, there's been a mistake.
I know. I made it.

My tailor's apprentice!

What are you doing here
at this hour of the night?

I always walk in my sleep, my lord.

Those are my new clothes, are they not?

I also dress in my sleep.

I suppose you were asleep
when you kissed me, too.

No, for that I woke up.

As if it made any difference.

Even when his eyes are awake,
his brain is asleep.

I am a man of good humor, Popolino,
but you tax it too much!

If you ever impersonate me again,
I'll kill you!

Henceforth, keep your mind
only on your embroidery.

Wait! I told you,
there's been a mistake, my lord.

You weren't thinking about her?

-Release this simpleton, Casanova.
-Come here.

Do you see that, Popolino?

That's the exact color I want
in my new jacket! Now go!

Be careful, my lord,
or these new clothes of yours will get dirty.

Now that they're cleaned,
all I have to do is press them.

He's laughing on the inside,
and I'm crying on the outside.

Home already, Leonardo?
It just isn't our night, I guess.

When you promised to call on me,
I thought it was to settle your account.

You haven't paid me one single ducat
on your grocery bill.

Not you, too! This constant merchant's
prattle of bills nags me like a sore.

-Tomorrow, I will have done with all of it.
-Tomorrow, Casanova?

At 1 o:oo in the morning, you may have
my creditors assembled at my villa.

I will pay my debts in full.

I look forward to the morning then.

-Casanova, you die!
-You first, Maggiorin.

Francesca?

-Who is it?
-Guess who?

How did you know?

Hurry! Casanova said
to be at his villa by 1 o:oo.

You're holding us back, Pippo!

That's my sewing hand.

Here we are now.

It's a fine morning for collecting money.

Casanova pays his bills just in time.
I'm almost bankrupt.

I'll buy a new horse
with the money I collect.

I never thought Casanova
would make good his debts.

Quiet! My master, Casanova, is still sleeping.

But he should be up.
He told us all to be here at 1 o:oo.

He's paying his bills today!

Paying his bills, indeed!
He owes me eight months wages.

Perhaps he'll pay us all. Come in.

Let's go see him.

Francesca!

The Widow Bruni to you, impostor!

Here! Give me that.
Collecting money does not concern you.

You hold the horse.

What's Casanova got that, if I had,
I probably couldn't handle anyway?

Pippo!

Both of you.

-Good morning, Pippo.
-Is it?

-Splendid evening, wasn't it?
-Was it?

Pippo, I need your horse.

He isn't much, but he's better
than running down the road on foot.

Run?

Why should my lord run?

Everybody's waiting
in the kitchen to get paid.

Exactly why, my friend. I haven't a ducat.

Casanova penniless?

But you owe them a fortune!
They'll be bankrupt.

I know, it's very sad.

The whole time I am running,
there will be tears in my eyes.

Take pity on me and give me your horse.

But I can't give him to you.
This is Giovanni's horse.

Then let us strike a bargain, good fellow.

Don't go far.

This is Carabaccio's suit.
I give it to you for Giovanni's horse.

That sounds fair, but how do you know
the horse will fit you?

Let's change clothes.

-You mean I can have this outfit?
-Gladly.

-That's the finest cloth I ever tasted.
-Come on, take them off.

One more favor, Pippo.

Go inside, sneak into my bedroom
and make plenty of noise.

Make them think you are me, waking up.

Take a lot of time, so I can get
a good head start out of town.

I'll sneak through the front window,
so nobody can see me.

Wait till Francesca finds me
in Casanova's bedroom!

When will he wake up, Lucio?

We all work for our living
and have to get back to our shops.

Who knows?

Now the front door! What a morning!

I always knew Casanova's credit was good.

He's a gentleman of his word.

He'd better be, I need the money.

-To Casanova!
-To Casanova!

-Good morning, my lady.
-Good morning.

So this is the den
of that popinjay, Casanova.

And whom shall I announce, my lady?

Raphaele, Duc of Castelbello,
and his mother, the Duchess.

All the way from Genoa?
What is your errand, Excellency?

A challenge to a duel, perhaps?
The little matter of a younger sister?

A gambling debt to be paid?

Call Casanova, you simpering oddkin!

We have not come all this way
to confer with a lackey!

-My master has not yet awakened.
-Well, awaken him!

We are prepared to pay him 1 o,ooo ducats!

1 o,ooo ducats?

He owes us a total of 7,381 silver ducats.

Listen to this!

''My dear Lucio, I'm an honest man
with too many debts.

''It pains me, but I have departed
for other climes...

''less saturated with grasping creditors.
Your friend, Casanova.''

He's gone! Escaped! Run away!

Woe is me!

The charlatan! The scoundrel! I'm bankrupt!

And what a time to run away!

At this very moment the Duc and Duchess
of Castelbello are waiting to see him!

All the way from Genoa!
They would pay him 1 o,ooo ducats!

1 o,ooo ducats!

It's our money! They owe it to us!

How can we get it?
Whatever it is, we'll do it!

They want Casanova.
They don't pay 1 o,ooo...

to a baker, or a tailor, or a grocery lady.
Only to Casanova.

Wait!

This Duc and Duchess...

have they ever seen Casanova?

No. He's never been to Genoa.

Then they won't know the difference.
Line up over there, all of you!

We must have a Casanova.

-What?
-Help me select him.

One of these will have to do.

Which one of them comes closest?

-To Casanova?
-To a man!

You will be Casanova.

Me? But I have 1 7 children.

-That's recommendation enough.
-Lucio, quickly dress him!

But, Francesca, I am no Casanova!

All men have a little Casanova in them.

I speak from experience.

And for 1 o,ooo ducats,
you're going to have a lot.

Mother, I beg of you
not to go through with this.

After all, we are living in the 1 8th Century.

I've made up my mind.

You're young and swayed
by Donna Elena's beauty.

I must be sure that
she's worthy of our family.

Then hire this Casanova to do his worst.
She will shun him like the plague.

Excuse me.

-I was just passing through.
-Who are you?

-Do you know Casanova?
-Only by reputation.

It's all true.

-You are Casanova?
-Who else?

But I thought Casanova was--

You were described to us as regal...

handsome, intelligent, virile--

That's good enough for mixed company,
but after all...

none of us look good in the morning,
especially after a night out.

And what a night I had out!

Why should you climb in
through your own window?

I'm just keeping in practice.

I often make my escape
the same way, only in reverse.

This is our man!

If you'll excuse me, I must get some sleep.

Wait! Our business will not keep you long.

If you're creditors, you'll have to wait.

-The grocery lady is first.
-We are not creditors, sir.

My mother, the Duchess,
wishes to engage your services.

A duchess! My apologies, madam.
I had no idea!

My son is to be married
to Donna Elena DiGambetta of Venice.

We all have to go sometime.

But congratulations.
I know a very good tailor.

Wedding clothes, a specialty.
I'll send him your name.

Casanova, we offer you 1 o,ooo ducats.

And all you have to do
is be yourself, Casanova.

Ten thousand ducats?

You will leave immediately for Venice,
Signor Casanova.

Casanova?

Did you call me, Lucio?

Bow to the Duchess, Casanova.

Look who thinks he's Casanova!

What is the meaning of this intrusion?

Casanova, who is he?

He's Amadeo, the cabinetmaker,
that's who he is.

Please excuse him, madam.
Some of his hinges are loose.

I am Casanova. Aren't I, Lucio?

Yes, Amadeo Casanova, the cabinetmaker.

Signor Casanova's poor second cousin.

Was it cabinet work you desired, madam?

Certainly not!

Signor Casanova, can't we confer in private?

I have such problems
with my poor relations. Don't you?

My lady, I am my Lord Casanova's valet.

This is his first cousin.

First by a mile.

He has no secrets from us.

Where were we?

I was on my way to Venice
for 1 o,ooo ducats. Take it from there.

In Venice, you will work your way
into the home of my son's fiancee.

Meet Donna Elena, impress her, be romantic.

In short, see if her love burns
only for my son.

-But suppose I should fail?
-You have never failed yet, my lord.

Only that once when I was about 12.

Of course you'll take my cousin's word
as a gentleman for his success.

-Of course not.
-Of course not.

Of course not?

But there is a way to prove
that she has fallen under your spell.

We have a tradition
in the House of Castelbello.

The mother of the groom sends
the bride-to-be...

a petticoat embroidered
with this family crest.

That's beautiful needlework.
My specialty, you know.

I could--

It's another one of my hobbies, I--

You have 1 o days until the wedding.

You must return before then,
bearing the petticoat.

Ten days. That'll be around the 1 5th.

I'll be back in time
for the Embroiderer's Ball.

I want you to understand that
I love Donna Elena...

and I only permit this test
because I am certain...

she will withstand you and all your arts.

I know how you feel, Duc,
but girls will be girls.

How well we know, don't we?

Come on, my son.

The fates have been unkind.

To meet Casanova at my age.

-3o years too late.
-Mother!

Ten thousand ducats!

Pippo, what are you doing
in Casanova's clothes?

-I paid for them with Giovanni's horse.
-My horse?

My horse is worth forty of those suits!

Stop that! He's our Casanova.

I'll be with him every moment of the way.
I'll guide him--

-We'll be paid with interest!
-There'll be traveling expenses.

But Venice is only two days away,
it can't cost much.

But we must have a nice coach,
horses, clothes.

-Perfume!
-And the truest swords in Parma.

-Swords?
-Steel.

To battle your way into the lady's boudoir
or fight your way out!

Casanova always has to fight in at least
one direction. It's part of the game.

Yeah? The game's off.

Pippo!

Come back here!

No! I almost got killed last night,
pretending to be Casanova.

You forget, you're dealing with a coward.

If you defy us, Pippo...

Regniatti may cut out your heart
with my blessing.

My heart's up here.

Stop! Pippo is perfectly right.

Why should we ask him to risk his life
for our few thousand ducats?

-We can't ask him to go to Venice with me.
-You?

Of course, me.

I've got 1,ooo ducats at stake,
I'm going to keep my eye on them.

Besides, I know the Casanova technique.

Signora Bruni, there is nothing
in Casanova's technique...

I have not seen through keyholes
or heard through closed doors.

I'm sure of that,
but Pippo isn't going anyway.

That's right!

Why should we ask him
to accompany me to Venice...

to stop at the best taverns,
to enjoy the finest foods...

to make love to the gorgeous Donna Elena...

and have me to come back to every night?

Every night. Her?

It's too much to ask of anyone.

Yes. Look, I may be a miserable coward...

but this sounds like the kind of a trip
a miserable coward might enjoy.

Good food, the finest taverns...

and it's just like I always suspected,
girls are softer than fellows.

If this is the way they live
in Venice, let's hurry.

We can still catch the 7: 1 5 gondola!

-To Casanova!
-To Casanova!

So we journeyed to
the independent Republic of Venice.

A city of beautiful canals
and magnificent palaces.

The three of us, a grocery woman...

a valet and a miserable tailor's apprentice...

financed by a humble group
of shopkeepers...

and embarked upon a strange
and dangerous adventure.

A summer night in Venice

A lady's heart to win

All you need is the aid

Of a love serenade

Played on a mandolin

Casanova!

With a tic-tic-a-tic-a tic

Tic-a-tic-a love you

And a tic-tic-a-tic-a-tic

a want you

Let this tic-tic-a-tic-a-tic
Tic-a-tic-a tell you

Of the love that I have in my heart

Pippo!

Put more Casanova in it.
Your tailor's apprentice is showing.

With a tic-tic

It's Casanova!

And a tic-tic-a-tic-a want you

Let this tic-tic-a-tic-a-tic-tic-a tell you

Of the love

-Donna Elena?
-No, I am Angelina.

You'll have to wait your turn.
Circle the boat for a while.

I'm sorry, nope.

It just wouldn't be fair to the other girls.

Signor Casanova...

we are approaching the Palazzo DiGambetta.

With a-tic-tic-a-tic-a-tic

Tic-a-tic-a love you

And a tic-tic-a-tic-a-tic want you

Let this tic-tic-a-tic-a-tic-a tell you

Of the love that I have in my heart

Signor Casanova!

Your beauty is a flame and I am a moth.
Wait, while I fly up to you.

If the cops come, yell ''Chickey!''

I'll see you.

Remember, the petticoat
is what you're after.

I made it.

Maria, press Donna Elena's petticoat,
when you've finished the other work.

Be very careful of the embroidered crest.
It's priceless.

Yes, Signora DiGambetta.

My lady!

Casanova, in person!

In person, in love and in a hurry. Kiss me!

Sir, you're too impetuous!

I have to work fast. Venice is a big city.

I'm getting to the age where
I can only work a couple canals a day.

But there should always be
some polite conversation first.

If you insist on formalities.

Delightful weather we're having.
Conversation over, kiss me!

Maria! Bring the petticoat in, quickly!

Excuse me, Signor Casanova,
my mistress is calling.

Your mistress? Aren't you Donna Elena?

No, sir. I'm her maid.

Impostor, wasting Casanova's time!

To think that I almost kissed
a pheasant. Peasant!

You jackass! You had it right in your hands!

-Had what in my hands?
-The petticoat! 1 o,ooo ducats!

So that was a petticoat? I didn't know.
We had all boys in my family.

-Come on, there must be another door.
-I hope so.

My lady, all the drapes and decorations
will match the colors in the Duc's crest.

My daughter's wedding must be
the most beautiful in the history of Venice.

The Duchess of Castelbello expects it.

Now's your chance. She'll be alone. Quickly!

Who is it?

-The petticoat man from Parma.
-Come in.

My lady!

Where are your petticoats?

I have none. That was just
a lover's device to gain entrance.

I am Casanova!

You're supposed to throw yourself
into my arms.

Why?

Because you're a girl and I'm a great lover.

You, a great lover?

I'm not here to duel. I've been a great lover
for over 2o years, man and boy.

The boy's worn out, but the man....
Ask any woman in Italy.

Signor Casanova, you must
not be found in my room.

If necessary, I will scream for help.

I don't need any help.
Don't you understand, Donna Elena?

I picked you from all the women in Venice.

You're the lucky winner for tonight.

If my father or my brother find you here,
they'll kill you!

Kill me?

I am Casanova,
the greatest swordsman in Italy!

I'll cut them to pieces!

They're here! I beg you not to harm them!

Run! Hide!

Casanova never runs. But he hides.

Not there! That's the first place they'll look!

Yeah. Well, where's the last place
they'll look?

-Under here.
-Elena! Are you all right?

Come in, Father.

Maria saw Casanova in the house!

He forced his way into my room!

Death to the libertine!

Who is this Casanova?

A desperate and dangerous man!

He's merciless, sister.

The greatest swordsman in Italy,
and the most notorious lover!

He prowls the entire peninsula,
looking for fresh young victims.

Elena, if his name is so much
as whispered with yours, all is lost.

We haven't another ducat's worth of credit.

The clothes we wear, the food we eat,
this palazzo.

Everything we have is ours only because...

you are going to marry
into the wealthy House of Castelbello.

Don't worry, Father. I love the Duc...

and I will do nothing
to endanger our wedding.

As long as Casanova remains in Venice,
Corfa will guard you.

He's to sleep outside your door.

Casanova isn't here. I'll vouch for that.

Your dog behaves strangely.
What's under there?

The cat. He's been playing with the cat.

There's your cat!

En garde, swine! You die!

Stefano, don't!

Get up and fight!

We know you are
the greatest swordsman in Italy.

You may kill some of us,
but at least we'll kill you, too!

Now, let's make a deal...

I won't kill any of you
if you don't kill any of me!

Please! He didn't do anything!

You don't know the devious ways
of these scoundrels. He must die!

Would you attack an unarmed boy?

What's that at your side, a table knife?

That's just to slice salami. Smell for yourself.

Only your blood will avenge our honor!
Rush him! All together!

Wait a minute! You don't want my blood.
It's half minestrone.

Besides three-to-one is unfair fighting.
You'd be penalized.

You could kill me
and still lose the match on points.

-Coward!
-Pig!

Scoundrel!
We'll have you exiled from Venice!

We'll go to the Doge!

Where's the petticoat? Did you see it?

Did I see it? I was in it!

Don't worry, I don't need any help.
I can make it.

The DiGambettas hurried to
the Palace of the Doge to accuse Casanova.

The Doge was Chief Magistrate
and Ruler of Venice.

He was powerful, cunning, ambitious.

His word was law and his disfavor meant
the headsman's ax!

When Casanova sullies
the name of your daughter...

he dishonors Venice itself.

Rely upon me, Signor DiGambetta.

I shall place Donna Elena
under my personal protection...

until she is safely married.

Thank you, my lord.
Our family honor is in your hands.

-Your Highness.
-Captain Rugello...

see that Signor DiGambetta and his son
are called up to their regiment immediately.

-I want them out of the way.
-Yes, Your Highness.

Was it for this you summoned me
from the field?

Your troops must be ready to march
on an hour's notice.

I've waited for months
for an excuse to attack Genoa.

-Now I have it.
-My lord...

what has this latest Casanova adventure
to do with war?

Casanova is the key with which
we will unlock the walls of Genoa.

Donna Elena was to be married
to the Duc of Castelbello...

the most important family in Genoa.

I shall make sure that
Casanova succeeds with her.

The Duc will hear of it,
break off the marriage.

Naturally, this will be an insult
not only to our beloved Donna Elena...

but to Venice itself.

Our citizens will demand revenge!

And they shall have it!

A few day's forced march,
one grand assault, and Genoa is ours!

Let us pay a visit to this Casanova.
I want to see what he looks like...

what magic he possesses...

that makes him so irresistible to women.

For on the potency of that magic
depends our conquest of Genoa.

Now, my lady...

I bow before the exquisite beauty
of your raven tresses.

There, I said it just like Casanova.

Now can I have a piece of turkey?

Of course not. We're watching your figure.

If I can't have any turkey,
how about a kiss? That's not fattening.

Up to now, you're a disgrace
to the very name of Casanova!

Replacing my master with you is like...

replacing Rembrandt with a house painter!

You can't bow properly,
you can't fence, you can't make love.

Casanova is human fire! He melts women!

He's poetry in motion!

-What are you trying to do?
-Second the motion!

-Any questions?
-Yes.

-Well?
-When is it my turn?

Back! Look and learn!

There are times when you may have
to make love to Donna Elena...

and duel a horde of swordsmen.

There! Can you do that?

I can do better. I can use both arms
and fight them off with my feet.

Anybody can use one of those.

So you want a fencing lesson, do you?

Defend yourself!

Be careful.

Waiter, this is on an empty stomach.

En garde! Touche!

Riposte! That's enough.

-What's the matter?
-That's all the words I know.

Come at me, you ungainly donkey!
Let me see your style.

Wait till you see--

I used to be pretty good
at cracking walnuts.

You idiot! That's no way to use a weapon.

-It worked, didn't it?
-Take it by the handle.

En garde!

We'll never make a silk purse
from this sow's ear!

I don't want to be a silk purse.

I like me the way I am, a lovable sow's ear.

For one last desperate attempt
at Donna Elena...

what if we tried Casanova's approach
to the Princess Borzilleri?

He saved her from a runaway horse.

There are no horses in Venice.

I could save her from a runaway fish.

If that's somebody after Casanova,
I'm through.

I don't want to be a great dueler and lover.
I'm turning in my sword and lips.

Stand fast! You are still Casanova!

My lady, my lords.

His Highness, the Doge of Venice.

My lord Casanova, my lady,
I bid you welcome to Venice.

Signor Casanova, you do Venice
a great honor by your visit.

It's nothing. I like to spread it around.

There is to be a banquet tonight
at my palazzo...

to honor Donna Elena DiGambetta.

Were so distinguished
a gentleman as yourself...

to grace it with his presence,
it would become a great event.

Donna Elena is about to marry
the Duc of Castelbello.

You must meet her, Signor Casanova.

As a famous connoisseur of beauty...

you will find her a pearl among
the gems of your collection.

We would be delighted, Your Highness.

Until tonight, my friends.

My gondola will be at your service...

and I'm sure that
you'll be properly escorted.

I guess I'll have to be there.
Strictly white wig and swords, of course.

What luck!
Just as we were about to give up...

we're going to meet Donna Elena again
and have another chance!

No, not me!
Did you get a good look at that Doge?

He looked like a snake with a beard.

For once, I agree.

If he ever finds out
that you're an impostor....

All three of us!

Don't be frightened, Francesca.
I'm scared enough for all of us.

Don't be frightened, Francesca.
I'm scared enough for all of us.

Here we are.

What a landing!

Casanova, here?

What is the meaning of this?

A thousand pardons.

Evidently my minister, Foressi,
knew nothing of your quarrel.

You look so pretty...

I can't think of anybody
I'd rather have my throat cut with.

I beg of you, don't be
your normal idiotic self.

I want to live. Now, straighten up.

Quickly! Send a messenger to the camp...

and tell my husband that Casanova is here.

Yes, my lady.

Welcome, Signor Casanova.

My cousin, Signora Bruni.

You've got thread....

I almost forgot.
This is Lucio, my food taster.

Your food taster?

Yes, you can't get
good food tasters these days.

The slightest hint of poison, and they quit.

Lucio is my cousin's ninth food taster.

Tenth, counting Mother.

Your Excellency, I can't believe such
an oaf is truly the great Casanova.

It's merely his taste
for the ridiculous that baffles you.

So much depends upon his talents,
we can't afford to take any chances.

Would you permit me to test him?

So long as you do not interfere
with his quest of Donna Elena.

Duchess! And Donna Elena! Nice to see you.

Are you wearing our petticoat?

Signor Casanova, your attentions
to my daughter are most unwelcome!

Mother, let's let bygones be bygones.
This is a big party.

We'll have a few drinks,
we'll be friends again.

How do you like this suit?
Isn't it as pretty as a peacock with two tails?

There's very few people who....

Stick around, Lucio.

If we play our cards right,
we may wind up with a double date.

Mother's not bad either.

If we ever get back to Parma alive,
I will drown you in my pickle barrel!

Let us drink to our guest...

a worldly gentleman
who has made his mark as a swordsman...

and who has given every man
a renewed interest in every woman.

Signor Casanova!

-Salute!
-Don't toast yourself.

The wine's free and I'm thirsty.

Mind your manners!

Please, stop nibbling on my ear.

Don't let this beauty mark fool you, too.

Delicious wine. Cooking sherry, 1 7 57.

That was a good year for cooking.

I always....

-Donna Elena, where's your father tonight?
-He's....

He's away with his regiment,
Signor Casanova.

And your brother?

With my father.

I always, if you....

Please, Mother. I'm getting seasick. Please.

Don't call me Mother!

If you drink more wine, you giddy ass,
I'll break your neck!

The pheasant is excellent, my lord.

Act like a gentleman, you oaf!
The Doge is watching.

Take that out and shave it.

Two tails.

A famous man like your cousin,
he must have many enemies.

And impersonators.

Impersonators, my lord?

Of course, it would be
a simple matter to expose one.

How, my lord?

No one in Italy could imitate
Casanova's skill as a swordsman.

Yes.

If one wished to make sure
he was dealing with the real Casanova...

he would arrange a test of steel,
wouldn't he?

That's true. Some day,
you must see my cousin in action.

We will, Signora Bruni.

Venice is an amazing place.

Where else can you catch a trout
without getting out of bed?

Shall I get you some ravioli, my lord?

Something's wrong. The Doge is suspicious.

Of the ravioli?

Of you, my lord, you fool!
It means our necks.

My ladies, my lords.

I have arranged an unusual entertainment
for you tonight.

Captain Rugello...

the fencing champion
of the Venetian Army...

will give you an exhibition of his skill.

He has waited a long time
for a worthy opponent to come to Venice.

Captain Rugello.

At last, Captain Rugello
will face a swordsman...

who will not flinch from his flashing steel.

Why is he looking my way?

Well, I doubt if he intends to challenge me.

Yeah, well....

You mean...

me?

Signor Casanova, your fame
as a swordsman is worldwide.

I would deem it an honor
if you would cross blades with me.

Well, of course, I'd be glad to.

I need the practice anyway.
I'll just take my....

That's too bad. I came off without my blade.

I must have left it at home on the bureau.
Well, some other time.

Have a drink? Sherry?

Signor Casanova, here's your blade.

Mine?

Yes, thank you, small boy.

Wait till I get you outside, you....

Well! It's mine.

I must have a loose scabbard.

I'm not very good with blades.

How about swords?
And how about next Tuesday?

If I'm late, you can start without me.

You are an amusing fellow, Signor Casanova.

You pretend to be afraid expertly.

Yeah, it's wonderful acting.

But I can't duel on a dry throat.
More wine, please.

-Here, cousin, take mine.
-Haven't you had enough wine?

You're her mother, not mine.

Fill this one up, too, here.
And also skinny boy here.

I'm a big wine man. In fact, I'm a wino.
It steadies my nerves.

Enough! There will be more wine later.
A drink for the victor.

Yeah. And I hope he chokes.

-Don't be foolish, he'll be killed.
-Don't worry, I have an idea.

Just back him up to the drape.
I'll be ready for him.

Gentlemen, Minister Foressi
will judge the match.

If this is just an exhibition, Your Highness...

shouldn't there be a button on the tip?
Somebody could get hurt. Him, I mean.

Captain Rugello does not duel
like a small boy, with padded rapiers.

The winner shall be
the one who draws first blood.

Blood? Red blood?

Come, gentlemen.

Signor Casanova and Captain Rugello will
have a moment of grace to test their steel...

and prepare themselves for the match.

Then we shall see who draws first blood.

-The match is over. I just drew first blood.
-Gentlemen, take your places.

-Are you ready, gentlemen?
-I'm ready if she is. I mean, if he is.

En garde.

Clumsy.

-Could Foressi be right?
-Your handkerchief, my lord.

Upsy-daisy.

-That one is mine, Signor.
-One moment. May I?

I wouldn't want you to wound me
with a dirty blade.

Thank you.

You're in the wrong place here.

-En garde.
-So am I.

This is nothing. This is like embroidery
with a long needle.

Bravo!

Pippo, my friend,
you were superbly adequate.

-You were practically brave.
-What a kick that wine has.

My lord, Casanova,
you have earned a dance.

Delighted. I'll lead?

-With Donna Elena.
-That's even better.

I could still swear the man's a novice
with a sword.

Nonsense.

He is Casanova.

We have won our first battle against Genoa.

The Doge is one of my many admirers.
I have a big following here in Venice.

This messenger brings word from your
mother that Elena is in great danger!

Ride like the wind.

It is only an hour's ride back to Venice.

Be careful, my son.
The Doge can be a dreadful enemy.

Our honor's at stake.
I'll kill anyone who threatens my sister.

Signor Casanova, I entrust Donna Elena
to the protection of your sword.

Rely on me, Your Excellency.

I'm an old hand at this protection game.

Get it all in.

Don't wait up for us.
We may get stuck in a sand bar.

Cut it down.

You won't snitch, will you? Keep playing.
You may not see us, but we'll be here.

Canal Number Five.

You're beautiful, Donna Elena.
Your eyes, your hair, your lips.

I feel like a kid in a candy store,
everything looks so good.

In the absence of my chaperone...

try to forget you are Casanova
and act like a gentleman.

Can a bull act like a lamb?
Can a wolf forget he's a wolf?

Donna Elena, I bow before
the beauty of your exquisite raven tresses.

A pretty speech, Signor Casanova.
I'm sure you've used it often.

The Duc of Castelbello would not approve
of my listening to such words.

Duc schmuc. Donna Elena, I love you.

But you hardly know me.

I like what I see, and as for the rest...

I'm willing to trust you that it's all true.

Once around the park, Pietro.

There's your brother.

I wonder what he's doing out
at this hour of the night without a girl.

If he finds us here together, he'll attack you.
I beg you not to kill him!

I'm willing to make a deal.

Defend yourself, despoiler of honor.

-Stefano!
-Elena, stand aside.

Hiding behind a woman's skirts?

-That's what you're doing!
-I knew it was one of us.

The only way to protect you
from this dog is to kill him!

There must be other ways. Think a little.

En garde!

Temper! Watch the curtains.
This may be a rented gondola.

Now I've got you.

-Spare my brother, Signor Casanova.
-All right.

I wouldn't do this for anybody else but you.

Bon voyage.

-I'll pursue him to the ends of the earth!
-No, Stefano.

He spared your life
only because you're my brother.

He is a gentleman, after all.

Goodbye, my dear, I'll call on you tomorrow.
Give your brother a chance to cool off.

The mad, impetuous boy.
Be patient, my dear--

Man overboard! Help!

I don't want to be Casanova anymore.
I keep falling in the canal.

You'll never be anybody but Pippo Popolino.

And I can't think of anything more insulting.

-What's that?
-Another woman after Casanova, I suppose.

What a disappointment's in store for her.

-I must see you!
-I can't. No shoes.

-Donna Elena, on her way up.
-Quick.

His stockings. Shoes.

Even you can't fail now, and if I know
women, she won't let you.

-I've been dressing myself since I was 23.
-Don't forget the petticoat!

Remember, the petticoat
is what you're after.

It's what she's after that worries me.

One moment!
Give me a kiss to get me in the mood.

-Just one.
-Very well, just one.

I'll give you a sample, in case
we're ever cast away on a desert island.

-Well?
-Better bring a deck of cards.

Here.

Now go. Get her petticoat.

-Signor Casanova.
-Donna Elena.

If I was followed, my wedding, my family,
everything would be ruined.

-But I had to come to you.
-Naturally. You're a woman.

I have only a moment, Casanova.
I must return before I'm missed.

Then I'll have to talk fast.

It's a lovely night, isn't it?
Speaking of lovely nights...

tell me, are you wearing
the Duc's petticoat?

What has my petticoat to do with you?

I always keep a souvenir petticoat from
each of my loves. I press them in an album.

Of course, I take the girls out first.

I've succeeded in turning the old Pippo
into a new Casanova.

I kind of miss the old Pippo.

Everybody in Venice
is trying to push us together.

To start a scandal to prevent my marriage
to the Duc of Castelbello.

I love Raphaele,
so I beg of you, Casanova...

go away and leave me alone.

Go away? You came here just to tell me
to leave you alone?

Don't I even get a petticoat?

-Well, how about a kiss?
-Please, no!

I don't believe this has ever happened
to Casanova before.

I'd better check my records to make sure.

You called, my master?

Signorina DiGambetta,
you don't know what you're missing.

The Duc is only a boy.

-But Casanova is a....
-A man?

-Casanova is a tiger.
-Yeah.

My lady, the Doge is outside!

He mustn't find me here.

They're coming up the stairs.

Quick. Out the back window.
You can use my rope.

Goodbye, Casanova.
You're a very gallant gentleman.

You have loved many women,
but I am your greatest conquest of all...

for I shall remember you like this
for the rest of my life.

You didn't need all these men, my lord.
Here's your spoon. I just wanted a souvenir.

We're here to unmask an impostor.

You mean, he really isn't the Doge?

The Doge's gondolier reported everything
that happened tonight.

-Well, he lied. Nothing happened.
-My cousin is a perfect gentleman.

Perhaps your cousin is a gentleman,
Signorina...

but Casanova is not!

You mean, you don't believe I'm me?
Lucio, tell them I'm me.

We will have all the proof of your identity
we need in a moment.

Beatrice D'Brizzi was once
a favorite of the Court.

She was famous as Casanova's first love.

But, Your Highness,
she might not recognize him.

-He's changed in appearance.
-Yes, and for the worse.

You lead the kind of life I've led,
and you'd look like me, too.

Maybe worse. You've got a head start.

I think, but then I'm not sure.

I remember a mark, a mole.

To be sure, my lord. You lost it in a duel,
two years ago, remember?

Yes. The dirty dog stabbed, then twisted.

Perhaps if I could have
a moment alone with him.

One kiss and I would know for certain.

You can't be sure. I use a new system now.

We're here to make sure.

Put him to the test.

The headsman is awaiting her verdict
with a sharp ax.

Your Highness, he told me he was Casanova.

If he was lying, he should be punished!

But I am innocent, Your Highness.
I took his word for it that he was Casanova.

Leave us alone.

-Mercy, kind lady.
-Mercy, my lord Casanova!

-I beg your pardon?
-Mercy, my lord Casanova.

Don't give me away to the Doge.
He would have me beheaded!

Give you away?

I lied that I knew you,
that I was your first love.

It made me famous at the Court.

Really? What did you tell them?

How you crushed me in your embrace.

You pressed your warm,
full lips against mine.

-And your hungry eyes....
-Don't stop now, go on!

I told them I fainted.

How dare you faint
when we were going so good?

Forgive me, my lord, I beg mercy.

Don't worry, buttercup. I'll keep your secret.

Just go out there
and lie a little more for me.

And by the way, leave your name
and address with my valet.

If I can't call you, maybe he will.
He's skinny but fun.

For old time's sake. Now, relax.
Don't faint this time.

Did they come in? What happened?

What is taking them so long?

Either she recognizes him or she does not.

If she didn't, they'd be out by now.

If she did, well, perhaps they're reminiscing.

There is no doubt of it.
The man is Casanova.

Of course he is, my lord.
I've been his valet for 2o years.

Snuff, anyone?

You'd never believe it. She slipped my mind.

Women are like oranges.

When you've squeezed one,
you've squeezed them all.

-Juicy little thing, isn't she?
-A thousand apologies, Signor.

Now, let us get down to business.

I've been told that you have marked
Donna Elena DiGambetta as your next victim.

No, Your Highness.
I assure you, I wouldn't harm her.

-Any friend of yours is a friend of mine.
-You misunderstand.

It suits my purposes that you succeed
with the young beauty.

He's on our side!

We are allies, Your Highness.

You should know that Casanova
was hired by the Duchess of Castelbello...

to test Donna Elena's love for her son.

Better and better!

The proof was to be a certain petticoat,
sent by the Duc to Donna Elena.

Then we have only to prepare
our campaign...

with all the wealth and power of Venice
at your disposal.

Signor Casanova, we can't fail.

Our fee of 1 o,ooo ducats
is already bearing interest.

Splendid. There's only one difficulty.

Name it and I will destroy it.

-I won't do it.
-What do you mean by that?

Like I said, I wouldn't do anything
that might hurt Donna Elena!

-My lord, you jest.
-Be sensible or we'll all die!

She kissed me.

I'd feel like a dirty dog the rest of my life
if I spoiled her marriage.

I'd rather die.

We don't need Signor Casanova.

The proof of his success
was to be this petticoat.

I will see that it's put in your hands.

You'll take it to the Duchess of Castelbello
with a story of Casanova's triumph.

No, you don't. That's cheating.

You will tell the Duchess that I,
the Doge of Venice...

avenged the girl's dishonor
by beheading Casanova.

Beheaded?

Well, you said you'd rather die.
I honor your request.

My request?
Look, let me make another request.

Seize him. Take him to the dungeons.

Please! Fair-weather friends.
You sold me down the canal.

You can't do this to me.
You can't cut off my head! I need it.

It's all I've got to hang my ears on.
I told you I'm not Casanova!

I'm only a tailor's apprentice.
I'm Pippo Popolino. I'm innocent.

You're Casanova. You proved it.
Now, keep quiet and die like a man!

I'm not Casanova! I'm Pippo Popolino,
the tailor's apprentice from Parma.

And I'm Emo, the murderer from Milan.

I'm pleased to meet you.

I wish I was back in Parma.

I had a nice, warm corner
in Carabaccio's shop to sleep in.

Of course, it wasn't as nice as this.

Semi-private.

Running water in the gutter,
just a few feet away.

Four ducats a month
and Francesca right across the street.

Francesca's a girl.

You remember, girl?

Yeah.

Continental breakfast every morning.

That's black bread. At least, it was black
by the time it got to me.

Take your dirty hands off me.

At least I'll be neat
when I face the headsman.

What is the meaning of this?

-My agents report Casanova is hiding here.
-Casanova?

Tell your servant to stand aside.
We're here to protect you.

Escort Donna Elena downstairs.

When we find this wretch,
there may be swordplay.

Take this petticoat to the servant, Lucio,
at the lodgings of Casanova.

See that he takes it to the Duchess...

and assure him that he needn't worry
about Casanova...

for tomorrow, he dies.

I'm too young to die. Too innocent.

My life must be spared this grisly ax.

-I can get you out of here.
-Let this mighty heart beat on.

I beseech ye, kind gods of fortune,
spare me this life.

-Let the fates be kind--
-My good man.

Please don't interrupt.
I don't get a chance like this very often.

Merciful heavens, stay the hand
of the bloodstained executioner.

Let the breath of life surge onward
through my bones.

Don't snuff out this life,
like the flickering candle.

Don't!

-Pippo, my boy.
-Please, there's only one more.

Don't!

Now, what have you got to say?

Would you give me those beautiful clothes,
if I could get you out of here tonight?

-Why, do you know something?
-I have a secret tunnel.

A very nice tunnel.

Not too damp. Roomy.

Where is this tunnel, Emo? In your head?

It is here!

Boy!

Not so fast, my friend.

-First, your clothes.
-Gladly.

When I get out,
I'll send you my dancing pumps.

Here, take this.

No, no peeking. Here.

I'll tell you when to come out.

Did somebody send you a cake
with a shovel in it?

Before we leave, can't we beg the Doge
to pardon poor Pippo?

Forget that oaf.

How do you like my new coat?

-It looked better on Pippo.
-Pippo won't be wearing it again.

All he'll need now is a box to bury him in.
Maybe two boxes.

-But we can't let him die!
-Who cares about Pippo?

What you need, Francesca,
is a good wealthy man like me.

We'll go to Parma, collect the money,
and clear out before the others know.

And then the money will be divided by two?

By one, my dear.

We shall be together.

I'm tired of watching through keyholes.
I'm going to be the one that people watch.

We'll live well, all over Europe.
I won't dress anyone but me.

And you'll never touch
another box of vegetables.

When I first saw you in Parma...

I thought you were the picture
of a perfect gentleman...

and Pippo seemed the picture of a fool.

Now I see I had the pictures mixed.

Be careful, grocery woman.

-The 1 o,ooo could be all mine.
-Thief.

-Leave that robe.
-We're not going back without Pippo.

My master, Casanova,
taught me one great lesson.

Never get sentimental about romance.

Goodbye, Francesca.

This is great. I can get a fitting later.

Wait a minute. I forgot something.

My embroidery kit.
It's all I need to make my way in the world.

That reminds me.

My mouse.

-Yeah.
-I like to pet him.

Hey, how about him?

I never saw him before. He must be yours.

Well, thanks for everything, Emo.
You've been a peach.

Goodbye, Signor Pippo.

And if any of your friends
should be imprisoned...

tell them to bring something of value.

-We can do business.
-Fine. I'll see you.

I just had a thought.

If you've been here all this time,
how come you've never used this tunnel?

Me? Escape?

Good sir, it took me
1 7 years to dig that tunnel.

I make my living renting it to my cellmates.

It is my only source of income.

Outside of an occasional government job,
I have nothing.

I see your point, Emo.

The world will always remember you as
the man who invented the toll tunnel.

Well, I'll leave.
Maybe you two want to be alone?

Where is this taking me?

I may never get out of here alive.

I may never get out of here dead.

Am I going uphill
or are my blisters getting larger?

I'm going up. This must be near the end.

Soon I'll be free.

There's the end now.

I'm still in the dungeon. I've been trapped.

Another prisoner has escaped to join us.

Who are you?

We're all prisoners who escaped
through Emo's tunnel.

But I'm supposed to be free.

-I gave Emo my clothes, everything I had!
-We all did, friend.

He has been tricking prisoners for years.

Why, those are my old clothes.

How do you like that? Emo kept my mouse.

I'm doomed.

Goodbye, Donna Elena.

Goodbye, Francesca.

I had such budding plans for both of you.

But tomorrow morning,
the headsman will nip me in the bud.

It's not that funny.

-When do you get off duty, handsome?
-2:oo.

-Wait!
-I can't wait! Get rid of your friend.

-When do you get off duty, handsome?
-2:oo.

-Wait for me.
-Get rid of your friend.

Wait here.

-What time is it?
-Around 1 7 58.

-Where did you come from?
-I have permission to visit Casanova.

Where's your pass?

How could I have come this far
without permission?

-That's what I'm going to find out.
-Wait!

We don't want anyone else
to come this way.

After I visit Casanova, I can visit with you.

-I've seen these tricks before.
-Don't touch that bell rope.

You'll pay for this.
The Doge will have your head.

Pippo, where are you? Pippo?

Francesca! This way!

Francesca! Where are you?

-Pippo, hurry!
-Francesca! So long, men.

Here, take a sword.
Get in there and fight, gal. Go!

Sick 'em.

Stay in there, Francesca.
I'll protect you from the rear.

Lay there and bleed.

Shove.

Run for your lives!

-Faster.
-Dive in.

Get in the canal.

Casanova has escaped.

Surround the DiGambetta palazzo
with armed guards.

Yes, Your Highness.

Tomorrow the Duc and Duchess
arrive for the wedding.

We must keep Casanova away from them.

Bragadin, send an escort to meet them.

Foressi, turn out the Army
to search for Casanova!

I'll have his head if it takes
all the power of Venice.

That makes six.

But still no sign of Casanova.
It's our heads if we fail.

Here's another one. Stop him.

-They're moving on!
-Then I can say it. Ow!

What's the matter?

Either he jabbed me with a sword
or I found the needle in the haystack.

We'll steal some horses and go after Lucio.

And we'll take the 1 o,ooo ducats
away from him and head for Paris.

You, me, 1 o,ooo ducats and Paris.

That you and me part is pretty good as it is.

Pippo, I have to apologize to you
for what I used to think of you.

When you faced death for Donna Elena,
I knew you were a great man.

I did face death for her, didn't I?

I was lucky to get out of Venice alive.

It'd have been silly to go back.

I'd have only been killed
and that wouldn't help her.

She'll understand, won't she?

She had a way of understanding.

Goodbye, Casanova.
You're a very gallant gentleman.

You have loved many women,
but I am your greatest conquest of all...

for I shall remember you like this
for the rest of my life.

I know I'm running away like a coward,
but what else can I do? I am a coward.

I'm just a miserable tailor's apprentice.

I can't fight. All I can do is embroider.

Now, if she needed a tapestry
or some embroidery....

-Yeah, embroidery.
-Stop it!

You might've made me scream and
that would've started the soldiers running.

I'll embroider the Duc's crest
on your petticoat, go to Venice...

to save Elena before the Duc and Duchess
arrive tomorrow night...

-or my name isn't Casanova.
-You're a madman.

It would be suicide to go back.
You have only one life.

If you work it right, one is enough.
I'm sorry, Francesca.

I can't let her down.

I'd never be able to look
another needle in the eye.

You don't love Donna Elena, do you?

I love you.

I've loved you since the first time
I walked into your store...

and saw your face
among the heads of lettuce.

Pippo, we have to run for our lives.

Yeah, you'd better hurry.
Leave your petticoat here.

Goodbye, Francesca.

When you get back to Parma,
I trust you'll notify my next of kin.

-Who's that?
-My cat.

We'll notify him together
when we get back from Venice.

You mean, you and me? Me and you?

You and me? We?

You and me. We.

-Us?
-That's right. You and me, we, us.

There he goes.

-What's that?
-Them.

How does he know just where to stab?

Raise yourself up a little.
You'll wrinkle the petticoat.

But the petticoat was right here.

-I put it there myself.
-We'll find it before the wedding.

We must find it.
Without it, there will be no wedding.

She's looking for her petticoat.
This is our big moment.

-I wish we had time to have it gift-wrapped.
-Look, the Doge.

This is a great occasion in Venice.

Distinguished guests from all of Europe
are gathering downstairs...

to welcome your Duc and Duchess.

We have only to guard Elena
until the wedding tomorrow...

-and she will be safe from Casanova.
-I have taken every precaution.

My soldiers will kill him,
if he should intrude here tonight.

My soldiers will kill him,
if he should intrude here tonight.

Donna Elena, the reception guests
are waiting.

Pippo, there's no way to get it to her now.
Let's escape while we can.

There must be some way.
We've gotten this far.

His Excellency, the French Ambassador...

Carl Mauri de Fragne.

His Excellency,
the Ambassador from Naples...

and the Marquesa DiConte.

-Welcome, Your Excellency.
-Welcome, Marquesa.

You should have worn your petticoat
as a petticoat.

I wanted it handy.

I don't want them to think it isn't
what it isn't.

Their Royal Highnesses...

Prince William and Prince Saralea of Midovia.

-I wonder who we are.
-Whoever you are, fix your mustache.

Whoever you are, fix your petticoat.

Baron and Baroness Mittschalk, of Cardovia.

Do you speak Cardovian?

Your pardon, but you are to go this way.

Baroness, I do not know how
to say it in Cardovian...

but you are most welcome.

Signora, I speak your language...

it is only my wife who does not.

We have brought a present from Cardovia
for the happy bride.

-Captain Rugello will take it.
-No. It is very personal.

We give it to her
in a little room somewhere?

It is not our custom for the bride
to leave the receiving line.

Many guests are arriving.

Perhaps if the gift is too personal,
I could retire with the Baroness.

You are not to be out of my sight
until the Duc and Duchess arrive.

I've guaranteed to protect you
from the villain, Casanova.

You must co-operate.

What is this gift so personal
it must be delivered in private?

The Baroness says she does not feel well.

We go back upstairs. No?

Come, my good Baron,
you pique my curiosity.

Where is this present?

No, thank you, madam.

I cannot leave the receiving line.

But, madam--

Madam, I told you I have no time to dance.

Of course, you don't understand
my language.

You big, clumsy ox.

-Farfel, farfel, pippick.
-Farfel, farfel, pippick to you, too.

You big lump of jellied fat.

You stepped on my foot, you elephant.

-Dancing! Torture!
-Dancing! Prancing!

Madam.

The Duchess of Castelbello!

And her son, Raphaele, Duc of Castelbello.

Lucio's with them. He'll recognize us.

Welcome to the house of DiGambetta,
Duchess.

My dear Duchess, welcome to Venice.

We're too late.
Look at that mean look on the Duchess.

That's no mean look, that's her face.

Lucio, give me the package.
Let's have done with it.

-I'll give you a chance to get it to Elena yet.
-What are you going to do?

For one moment, I'm going to be Casanova.

Duchess, look. It's me. Casanova.

-Casanova.
-Somebody goofed.

The libertine's in our house again.
Kill him, once and for all.

Seize him! He's a condemned convict!

Come on, all of you. What are you afraid of?

Quickly, behind the screen.
Put on this petticoat.

Duchess, Lucio sold you a fake petticoat.

-Elena's wearing the real one.
-Silence him!

Rush him, I tell you, or I'll have your heads.

Steady now. You're in trouble.

You got yourself into this.

Duchess, of what petticoat
does Casanova speak?

This one?

-Thief.
-I'll go further than that, I'll race you.

Where'd you come from?

Now I've got you cornered.

-Rugello?
-Stand back!

-One false move and I'll run him through.
-Stand back. I order it.

Don't forget, I'm still Casanova.

Make way or I'll cut the Doge
into ravioli stuffing.

My trusty blade and I, we've been through
many a dangerous spot like this.

Go ahead. Somebody start something.

I never felt more Casanovish in my--

Come on. Move in.
I want to cross blades with the Doge.

My sword and his shoulder blades. My--

Farfel, farfel, pippick!

Thanks, Francesca.

Come on, fight. Casanova defies you all.

Pardon, Signor Casanova.
My wife wants her dress.

Get away, little man.

Farfel, farfel, pippick!

Off with his head.

No, I'm innocent. Let me explain,
while I still have something to talk with.

Get me a lawyer!

I want to take a practice swing.

You can't do this to me.
You can't cut off my head. I need it.

Hold it! Your attention, please.

Paramount thinks this picture should end
with Bob Hope's head rolling in the basket.

Bob, however believes,
you would resent this happening...

to such a young, handsome and lovable boy.

These are his own words.
You've seen our ending.

Now we'll show you one written,
produced and directed...

by Bob ''Orson Welles'' Hope.

Casanova.... I mean, Pippo.

And I mean business.

Now, isn't that a better ending?
Well, we'll leave it to the audience.

Those who like Paramount's ending and
think I should get my head chopped off...

hold up your candy bars.

Now, all you nice people,
who like a wonderful happy ending...

and think I should be the hero
and get Francesca...

you hold up your popcorn, huh?

What's the matter with this theater?
Don't they sell popcorn?