Carp-e Diem (2022) - full transcript

What could go wrong when pregnant drifters - Natasha and Vern - find a room for the night by invading a rural home of Martha and Bob? After accidentally killing the couple, their initial plan to stay in the house for a few days qu...

[ Thunder rumbles ]

[ Car door opens ]

[ Footsteps on gravel ]

[ Car doors close ]

[ Man groans,
breathing heavily ]

Blake: Roger, please!

[ Car door closes ]

[ Grunts ]

I'm sorry.

[ Gasps ]

Roger: Do you know
what I value the most?


[ Coughs ]

Without trust, you have nothing.

You're like a helpless
little fish,

swimming in a pond of sharks.

No one to get your back.

No one to protect you.

When I heard it was you,
I said, "No way."

Not Blake.

He would never do that.

He's like a brother to me.

And a brother would never
break my trust like that.

I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.

Where did you take my Tasha?

It's okay.

Nothing has been done
that can't be fixed.

We just need trust.

Wouldn't you agree?

I know you drove her somewhere.


[ Groans ]

I took her to Ogden,

dropped her off at
the bus station.

That's all, I swear.

Where was she headed?

L.A. I think.

You're doing good.

Is it true?
Is she pregnant with my child?

Is it?!


[ Groans ]

Advertise your product or brand here
contact today

How are you going to find her?

L.A. is
a really big place.

I'm going to find her
and bring her back.

[ Groans ]

Please, I'll do anything.
I swear.


It's okay.

Let's pray together, brother.

Dear Lord, I thank you
for the power of forgiveness,

and I choose to forgive
everyone who has hurt me.

Help me set my enemies free
and release them on to you.

Help me bless those
who have hurt me,

help me walk in righteousness,
peace, and joy.

I choose to be kind
and compassionate,

forgiving all others
just as you forgave me.

In Jesus' name, Amen!

[ Birds chirping ]

I know, little one.

One day, we'll have a house
just like that.

[ Toilet flushes ]

Oh, God! Holy shit!

You good?

Yeah, I wouldn't go in there
for a little while.

[ Scoffs ]
Thanks for the warning.

You know, I was thinking,

maybe we could head north
for the rest of the summer.

You know, it'll be cooler.

What do you think?

It's fine.

What's that?

A house.

Looks nice.


What's wrong?


I can tell something's wrong.

What is it?

It's just that the baby
is almost here.

[ Chuckles ]
Yeah, I know.

Then what are we gonna do?

What do you mean?

[ Scoffs ] Vern,
we can't keep doing this.

Going from city to city.

We have to settle down,
get ready.

We will.


She kicked!
Did you feel that?

Yes, of course, silly.
Oh, that's our girl.

Um, it could be a boy.

No. It's a girl.
I can tell.

She kicks like her mom.

She's strong.

Don't worry.
We'll figure it out.

I promise.

I know I'm not the dad,
but I'm not gonna let anything

happen to you or the baby.

You trust me, right?


Doesn't sound very convincing.

I trust you.

I love you, sugar plum.

I love you, too, pookie.

[ Siren wailing ]

False alarm.

I think it's time
we get out of here.


You should eat first.
You hungry?

Have you been around me lately?
I am always hungry.

Yeah, bacon and eggs?

With pancakes?

Yeah, why not?

Hey, thanks for the house.

And sorry for blowing up
your bathroom.


Hey, watch the paint!


Fucking punk ass bitches!
Don't worry, Bessie.

It'll be all right.

I'm gonna take you
to the car wash later,

I'm gonna wax you up
and gonna make you shine,

just good as new.

Just no respect,
you motherfucking bitches.

They all work.

I can give you 8.

It's worth at least 2 grand.

Maybe somewhere else.
Here, it's worth 8.

[ Sighs ] 1,250.


Oh, come on. You can at least
give me a grand.


Fine, I'll take the cash.

Gonna have to notify
the sheriff first.

Wait, why?
They're not stolen.

Still got to notify the sheriff.

[ Sighs ]

My name's Natasha.
What's yours?


Look, Rich, I really wish that

I had the time to stick around

and wait for all that,
but I don't.

Um, the truth is that, uh,
there might be something wrong

with my baby.

The doctors say I need
an ultrasound, but, you know,

I don't have insurance,
and I'm just really scared.

Thank you.


Look, I really need the money.

You can help me out, right?

Okay, look, I really might
regret this,

but I'll just take 5
for all of it.

What do you say?

Um, my loss and your gain.


Come again.

What happened?

He didn't buy it.

[ Chuckles ]

'Cause he's a fucking prick.

Should I try?
Oh, yeah, that's gonna work.

What does that mean?
Just drop it.

He's not gonna buy it.

We're gonna have better luck
selling it online.

Well, what are we gonna do now?

I don't know.

I don't know.

It's gonna be fine.

How can you say that?

Okay, we don't have any money,
no food, no place to go.

It's hot as hell out there.

And I look like a fucking hippo.

You do not.
You look nice.

[ Scoffs ]
Really, Vern? Nice?

What's wrong with nice?

Oh, I don't know,
what is wrong with it?

You look...


I said you looked nice.



I thought you said
you were quitting.

Why don't we just get a hotel
for the night?

We're not wasting the only
money we have on a hotel.

All right,
any other options then?

What about your family?

[ Scoffs ] Excuse me?

You said you grew up on a farm.

Why don't we just stay
with them?

We are not going there.

But I thought you said that...

No! I am never
going back there.

All right.
All right.

So, what are we doing then?

Let's just find a place
for the night.

Whatever you say.

[ Engine starts ]

I think that's an apple tree
by the fence.


We should probably plant
a few more.

You know, to get privacy.


Or pears.
I like pears, too.

Pears are nice.

It'd make a tasty jam.

It'll go good with pancakes.


I think I'll swing by the club.

Whatever you want.

You'll handle things here?

Don't I always?


I'd better change.

It's an easy gig.

Just go in,
double tap to the forehead.

What do you mean it's not right?

She's the killer.

Oh, so that's how it's gonna go.

Well, you know what?

Go to hell!

[ Beeps ]

Nazi fucker!

[ Vehicle approaches ]

[ Tapping on glass ]

Will you get that?

[ Sighs ]



Oh. What do you want?

Are your kids home?

I don't have kids.

Oh, sorry, it must've been
your husband then.

Is he home?

What is this about?

We like your house.
What is it?

Uh, 3 bedrooms, 2 bath?

You're at the wrong house.
We're not selling.

Oh, it's okay.
We're not buying.

I think you'd better leave.

Don't move!
Just keep quiet.

You have no idea
what you've just done.

I have some idea.

Get in.

You okay?




Man: Who was it?

[ Gunshots ]

I'll check the house.



We have double sinks!

What do you think?

This should do for a couple
of days, right?

Yeah, it's nice I guess.


Yeah. You got
a problem with nice?

Nope, not a thing.

I'll get the bags.

Ma and Pa are
in the last bedroom.


The master bedroom
is loaded with jewelry.

Easily get a few grand
out of it.

I found $500 in her purse.


This place isn't too bad.

Except for those curtains.
What's up with those?

No, I think they just moved in.

That's good.

Neighbors probably
don't even know them yet.

It gives us a few extra days
if we wanted.


Looks like Ma and Pa
are into sweaters or fish.


That's weird.


It's locked.

[ Door handle rattles ]

[ Rattling ]

Holy shit!
What is it?

[ Laughing ] Holy shit!

Holy shit!

Well you just Hail Mary'd
the shit out of it three times

so it must be...

Holy shit!

I think Ma and Pa are selling
more than just sweaters.

Yeah, no kidding.

[ Doorbell rings ]

It's some beta boy.

[ Knocking ]

Should I shoot him?

[ Sighs ] Yeah, Vern, like we
don't have enough

dead bodies in the bedroom yet.

What should I do?

[ Doorbell ringing ]

Get rid of him.


Are you Bob?

Who's asking?

Lucia sent me.





Do you have the stuff?

I have a lot of stuff.

You're Samuel, right?


This is for you, I think.



[ Lock clicks ]

What was that all about?

He's the pusher.

Holy shit!

[ Airplane passing ]

My plane leaves in two hours.

Yes, Reno, Nevada.

Bob Tread way.

I'm not kidding.

The Bob Tread way.

And he will be working
for me this time.

I'm here because Papa
loves me and respects me.

That's why you're home.
[ Dialing ]

[ Line ringing ]

[ Cellphone buzzing ]


Hey, Sarge, guess
who I just found.


Bob and Martha Tread way.

Wait, what the fuck?

Looks like they're
setting up a shop in Reno.

You sure?


You want me there?

No, no, um...

Look, I'll do it alone.

Okay, who else knows about this?

You're the first person
I called.

Should I call Andrea?


Just don't tell anyone
about this.

And find me a contact there.

You're the boss.

And, hey, Hudson, thanks.

No problem.

[ Beeps ]

[ Laughs ]

I got you now, motherfucker.

It's hot as fuck out here.

Tell me you got a lead.

Roger: I found her.

She's staying with a girl
named Morgan.

[ Rock music playing ]

Ugh, I look like
a fucking pumpkin.

[ Knock on door ]

So, uh, how long do you think
we're gonna stay here?

I don't know. As long as it
takes to move all of this.

I counted, and we have maybe
half a mil left.

You really think
we have half a mil here?

Yeah, easy.

Okay, well, careful.

You're getting it
all over your face.

[ Sighs ]
I'm gonna lay down.

Have a good nap.

Oh, God, no, Vern,

if we're gonna stay here
for another week or two,

then we have to do something
about the stiffs.

They fucking reek!

Yeah, sure, uh,

we can just dump them
in the desert tonight.

Wouldn't it make more sense to
bury them in the backyard?

What if the neighbors see?

I guess.

All right.

Woman: [ In foreign language]
...all connections,

you can assemble the explosive.

Cut the wire and connect it
to a 9-volt battery.

Make sure the wires
are connected,

otherwise the explosive
can self-detonate.

Connect red wire to
the circuit board, like this.

[ In foreign language ]
Red wire?

Red wire?

After you have done
all the connections...

[ In English]
Speak fucking English!

Hey, Bob, just get
in the fucking truck!

[ Breathing heavily ]

I fucking hate dead bodies.

Woman: [ In foreign language ]
Next, you will make

- a remote control...
- [ Engine starts, revs ]

which you can use
to detonate the explosive

- in about 200 feet away.
- [ Vehicle departs ]

You know what we should do?

Get a dog.

Or maybe two dogs, you know,
to protect the house.

There's a lot of money
back there.

Just in case.
What are you talking about?

You know, a dog.
What are the mean ones called?

They're, uh, rottweilers.

Yeah, yeah.

We are not getting a dog.

[ Laughing ] Okay.
Okay, no dogs.

What about a cat?

You know, a big cat.
A fucking... a man eating cat.

Yeah, yeah.
A cat would be nice.

What is wrong with you?


I'm just planning, you know,

how to protect the house,
how to protect the money,

how to protect you and the baby.

You're fucking high.

[ Chuckles ]
No, I'm not.

I haven't smoked anything
at all today.

No. High on cocaine,
you idiot.


[ Sighs ] My God.

[ Thumping ]

[ Vehicle approaching ]

What the hell?

[ Siren wailing ]

Vern, fucking floor it.

That is a cop.

Yes, it is a fucking cop, Vern.

What are you doing?

Relax, relax.

We were barely speeding.
I'll just talk to him.

Vern, are you
fucking kidding me?

No, you can't talk...

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Don't give me the finger!

Hey, it's okay.
It's okay.

I know how to talk to cops,
all right, babe?

I know how to talk to cops.

It'll be fine.
It'll be fine.

Vern, I am begging you.
You cannot bribe a fucking cop.

Haven't you ever seen a TV show?

This works all the time on TV.

Oh, my God.
Shut up, shut up, shut up.

Sugar plum, don't you trust me?

Vern: I know how to do this.

Natasha: Shut up!

Vern: He's coming.

Hello, officer.

Sir, do you know
how fast you were going?

Apparently not fast enough
since you caught me.

Am I right?

[ Laughs ]

License and registration.

Oh, look, Officer Dewy,

I know I was going
a little fast back there,

but how about
we just call it even, huh?

Are you trying to bribe me, sir?

I don't know, am I?

Do you know what the charge for
bribing an officer is?

I don't know, do we?

Dewy. [ Laughs ]
Do you get it?


[ Laughs ]

You're on something, aren't you?


Sir, step out of the vehicle.

Jesus Christ, don't fucking...

Sir, you don't have
to walk like that.

Just walk normal.

Like this?

Sir, stop doing that.
Just walk in a straight line.

How's this?

[ Sighs ]
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

[ Sighs ]

You're not doing it right.

Is this good?

Sir, stop that right now.

Sir, stop that right now.

If you do not stop,
you will be arrested.

[ Blowing raspberries ]

All right, that's it.
You asked for it.

Hands against the car.

[ Laughs ]

Vern? Vern. Vern!

My water just broke.


The baby's coming.

Are you sure? Now?


Okay, uh, everybody stay calm.

Don't panic.

I've heard of this
sort of thing happening before.

It's okay, we just got to
get to the hospital.

We'll be fine.

We're having a baby.

Call your boys or call
the doctor, just do something!

Vern, honey, we got to go.

We need hot towels and water.

And towels... and what else
do we need?

It's okay, they'll have it
at the hospital, baby.

We just got to go.

I'm gonna be a dad.


Will you be the godfather?

I, uh...

Sweetie, come on, honey.
Let's go. We got to go.

That's a good idea.
I can give you an escort.

Oh, no, that's okay.
We just got to go.

I'm gonna name her after you.


Jesus Christ, Vern,
get in the goddamn truck!

Sweetie, you're all wet.

Yeah, my water broke.

I have towels.

No, don't open that!

What is that smell?


Holy shit!

You shot Dewy!

I had to.

He was going for his gun.

Oh, no, oh, no.

It's okay. It's okay.

Come on, let's just get you
to the hospital,

make sure the baby's okay.

Vern! Jesus Christ,
I'm not going into labor.

I was fucking faking it.



You were about to be arrested.
I had to do something.

I thought we were having a baby.

[ Groans ]

What are you doing?

Natasha: I'm taking him back
with the others

and burying him in the backyard,

like we should've done
in the first place.


Well, are you gonna help,

or are you gonna
just stand there?

I'm sorry, babe.

I screwed up.

I put you and the baby
in danger.

It's okay.
It's fine. We're fine.

No, no, it's not.

We should just take
the money and go.

Vern, we'd be stupid
to leave now.

We're never gonna get
another opportunity like this.

No, but what...

Half a million dollars, Vern.

That is enough for us
to get away for good.

Who are you running from?

Doesn't matter.

Just as long as we get away.

All right.

Be careful with that!

Yes, Bethany!

I'm sorry, Miss Hendricks.

Are they bugging you?

There's nothing wrong
with having a little fun.

Look at what you did!

It wasn't me.

You all are gonna clean
this up right now!

Get back here!

Are you Morgan?

Morgan, you have visitors.

It's $100 an hour,
$200 if she joins.

Anything kinky is extra.

I'll only charge you $60.

And you can have all the kink
you want. [ Laughs ]

We're looking for someone.

Do you know her?

Who's asking?

Her family.

She didn't mention family.

So you do know her.

I don't know.
What's it worth to you?

What's it worth for me
to not punch you

in your fucking face?

Easy, sister.

Let's just pay the fine lady
for the information.

Yeah, I know her.

She bunked here for a few months

before she bailed
without paying the rent.

About how long ago was that?

I don't know, a month ago?

Do you have a phone number?


It's really important
that we find her.

I don't know what to tell you.

She might come back,
she might not.

Can I?

Do you have a lighter?

Does it look like I smoke?

If you see Natasha,
give her that.

She owes me $500.


If you hear from her,
give us a call,

and we'll pay you the rest.

[ Knocking ]

Bob? Martha?


[ Sighs ]

I'm finished.

[ Sighs ]

Really? You're done?


[ Door slides open ]

[ Groans ] I cannot wait
to take a nice warm bath.

With a foot massage?

Oh, now we're talking.
[ Laughs ]

Oh, do I need
to come back later?

Who the hell are you?

Didn't Papa call?


Oh, what the heck?
We're roomies now, right?

[ Sniffing ]

It's so awesome
to finally meet you.

You're like legends back home.

I say, you both look awesome
for being in your 50s.

And still quite active I see.

Looks like you've been busy.
How much have you moved?

Uh, 100k.

[ Inaudible dialogue ]

90k, you took your 10%
already, great.

Um... 10%?

Yeah, your cut.

Or did Papa negotiate
something else?

Uh, no, it was 10%.

Pedro, why exactly are you here?

Does Papa not trust us anymore?

No, it's nothing like that.
He just sent me to... help.

I mean $20 million is a lot
to move, you know?


Yeah, the rest will be here
later this week.

Now, where's my room?


Um, the second door on the left.


Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'll freshen up for breakfast.

Oh, and, Martha,

I can't wait to taste
your famous country pancakes.

Papa talks about them
all the time.


You should really open
some windows.

It stinks in here.

How about that?

$20 million.

Fuck, that's a lot.

I'm gonna go and take a bath.

Don't even think
about coming in.

What about the foot massage?

Okay, I hear you.

I will get you
your fucking rent!

[ Sighs ] Jesus.



[ Dialing ]

[ Line ringing ]

Tasha, it's me again.

Where the fuck are you?

I've left you
a million voice mails.

Call me the fuck back!

Where is daddy's boy?

He went for a run.

What are we gonna do with him?

I mean, he can't stay here,
you know that, right?

We can't just kill him.

Did I say that?
I didn't say that.

He's harmless.

Getting rid of him
is just riskier

than just dealing with him.

Besides, he doesn't seem
to suspect anything.

Yeah, what's up with that?

I don't know.

Guess he thinks you look 50.

You need to take this
more seriously.

[ Door opens, closes ]

[ Line ringing ]

[ Cellphone rings ]


Hey, it's me.

Shit, Tasha, where are you?

Texas. Look, I got your
messages. What's up?

All right, um, I got your mail.

That's it?
Just toss it.

Okay, uh, and someone came
looking for you.

What? Who?

Some dude, super fucking creepy.

He looked like one of those
TV preachers

with the white collar and shit.


When did he stop by?


Two days ago, I think.

Hold on.
He left you a note.

I found it.

"It's time to come
back home, Natasha.

We forgive you.
You can't run forever.

Love, Roger."

[ Rumbling, screaming ]

Are you still there?

What did you tell him?

Shit, Tasha. What the hell
am I supposed to tell him?

I hadn't seen you in months.
I told him that.

He left a number.
Do you want it?

No, no.
Look, if he stops by again,

you never spoke to me, okay?


Are you coming back
anytime soon?

I'm kind of behind on rent.

Yellow sun, blue sky,
green meadow...

Pedro: Hi, Martha.
[ Gasps ]

I didn't mean to scare you.
Are you okay?

Don't touch me!


What's going on with Martha?

You ever met a pregnant lady?


You doing that right?

Aren't you supposed
to weigh them?

A spoonful is about right.

I don't know.

Trust me.
No one's gonna weigh them.

This is a lot faster.

I guess.

So, uh, what's
the plan here anyway?

Push 20 mil,
then change scenery?

No, this will be base camp.

We're going to expand from here.

Papa trusts me to lead
the North American operations.

Oh, no kidding.


Are you sure he didn't call?

He should've given an update
on the new shipment.

Yeah. No one called.

Look at this.
You missed a call.

[ Beep ]
Voice: You have one new message.

Papa: Hola.
Bob and Martha, como estas?

How's the Wild West?

Mika will be there this Friday
with the next shipment.


Look, I wanted to thank you,
gracias for babysitting Pedro.

I owe you one.

I know he can be a little
weird, you know,

with the outfits and stuff.

I trust him,
so just go along with it.

Keep him busy,
he shouldn't get in your way.

I'll make it up to you.

A couple weeks at my Cancun
resort should do it, eh?

[ Chuckles ] Gracias.
Talk soon.



[ Door opens, closes ]

[ Sighs ]

Enjoying the view?

Yeah, it's nice I guess.


Is it a laddie or lassie?

Excuse me?

Is it a boy or a girl?

Oh, um, we don't know.

You don't know?

Don't tell me
you're one of those.


You know, one of those
flaky, airy fairy types

that let their kids
choose their own gender.

Like we got a goddamn choice.

Right. Those.

You're the new owners then.

Yep, yep, we're the new owners.

Well, welcome to Reno!

The biggest little city
or whatever

Goddamn shit they say.

What's your name?


Martha, eh?

Cole T. Baxter.
Nice to finally meet you.

You know, we don't get a lot of
new faces around here.

Especially pretty ones.

Nice to meet you, Cole.
I'm gonna go.

See you around, Martha.

Vern: You okay?

Go away.

Hey, man,

whatever's going on,
it's going to be okay.

I mean, shit,

my own dad was a major asshole.

He used to hit me and my mom.

I remember once he beat
the shit out of me so hard,

he broke a few ribs.

That's horrible.


I hated that dude.

I'm never gonna be like that.

I'm gonna be a good dad.

Yeah, you will.

I can see it.

You're both going to be
great parents.


I mean, Natasha's harsh,
but she means well.

Who's Natasha?


I meant Martha.

The point is
some dads are assholes,

and you don't need
to earn his respect.

And you don't need
shit from him.

If he's not proud of you,
then fuck him.

Yeah. Fuck him.

Screw that dude.


What's this?


The cure for everything.

[ Coughs ]

Good stuff?

[ Chuckles ]

Potent, but good.

Feeling better?


Now, let's get ready
for that next shipment.

Show your dad how it's done.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Mika called, he's a day early.
He'll be here today.

Oh. That's good.

Yeah, he can't wait to see
you and Martha again.


Yeah, he said it's been
like two years.

You've got a lot of
catching up to do.


[ Sighs ]
What did he say exactly?

That it's been two years and he
can't wait to see us again.

We're fucked.

Oh, my God, Vern,
he's gonna fucking

waltz right in here,
and we're fucked!

No, no, we can figure out
something else.

Jesus Christ, Vern. What the
fuck are we gonna figure out?

We can...
We can...

Fuck, I don't know.
I don't know!

Fuck this.

[ Groans ]

What are you doing?
Carpe fucking Diem, Vern.

I'm getting
the fuck out of here!

You're not serious.

You're serious.

You are gonna steal drugs from
the Mexican cartel.

Are you insane?!

We walk out of here
with it, we're dead.

Vern, I am not
throwing away our future.

Come on, baby,
we can still have a future.

But not like this.

Let's just go, baby.

Let's just go.

[ Door opens, closes ]

Hey. [ Chuckles ]
What's going on?

Not much.

Oh, my God, he's here.
Get him out.

Hey, buddy, I need your help
with something outside.

You do?

Yeah, right now.

I'm really thirsty.

Oh, no. No time for that.
Come on, buddy, let's go.


No, we got to get started.
Come on, buddy. Let's go!

Can I just...

Pedro, just get
the fuck outside!


Hi. You must be Mika.

Where are Martha and Bob?

Uh, out. Shopping.
They should be back soon.

Oh, don't mind that.
I was just cleaning.

Who are you?

I'm Martha's niece.

Feel free to have a seat
and wait over there.

I'd rather stand.

Uh, yeah, okay.

Um, I'm... I'm gonna pee.

[ Sighs ]

Oh, Jesus.


Oh, pills.

What the fuck are these guys on?

Okay, all right.

You want me to do what?

Vern: Fix this.

But it's July.

Yeah. Now.

Winter's coming, and it'll
be here sooner than you think.

Well, what's wrong with it?

That's what we got
to figure out.

I guess we could fill the tires.

That is a great idea!

Uh, so would you like
anything to drink?

We have water,
apple juice, whiskey.

Apple juice is fine.

Coming right up.

All right.
Here we are.

Refreshing apple juice.

[ Clattering in distance ]

Excuse me for one second.

[ Door closes ]

Hey, Vern, come here.

Keep up the good work, buddy.

Hurry up!

Jesus Christ, Vern,
could you go any slower?

Hey, what's going on?

I drugged him.
You what?

I gave him enough Ambien
to drop an elephant.

He should be out in five.

Yeah, that should work.

Yeah, you just got to
get daddy's boy out of here.

What the fuck am I
supposed to do with him?

Who the fuck cares, Vern?
Just get him out of here.

Where is he anyway?

He's fixing the snowblower.

That snowblower?


My God, Jesus Christ.


Christ, Vern, you had one job.


[ Chuckles ] Pedro,
the snowblower?

I'm just taking a break.

Is that Mika's car by the gate?

Did you just drink that?

Uh-huh. Kind of tasted
like shit though.

I don't feel well, Bob.


[ Grunts ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Groans ]

[ Breathing heavily ]


Natasha: Jesus.
[ Pedro groans ]

[ Gun clicks ]


It's so cold.

[ Shovel thudding ]

How's daddy's boy?

Still sleeping.

After I'm done here,

we can ditch his cellphone
and his car.


You know, it's not too late.

We can still just take off.

[ Chuckles ] Oh, what?
And miss all this fun?

No, seriously, Vern, we've come
too far to turn back now,

and I am not leaving
without that money.

[ Sighs ]
Whatever you say.

I just hope we don't have
anymore surprises.

Good Lord, Vern. What else
could possibly go wrong?

Do you have the money?

Did you find her?

Yeah, she's in Texas.

Where in Texas?

She gave me an address.

Here, that's where she is.

And my message?

Don't worry, I gave it to her.

Did she say anything?

You know, she was happy.

Can't wait to see you again.

Is that what she said?

Uh-huh, absolutely.

So where's the money?

Let me know if you need
anything else.

I have Benzoes, Oxys...


Yeah, oxys.
$10 a pill, best deal in town.

Let's pray.

Tell me, are you
a God fearing woman?

Yeah, sure. Whatever.

And the Spirit of the Lord
has made me...

[ Grunting, screaming ]

...and the breath of the
Almighty gives me strength.

[ Gasping, groaning ]

[ Clattering ]

[ Laughing ]

Let's see if we can find
Natasha on here.

We got the number.


[ Engine stops ]

Got it?

[ Chuckles ]

And the address?

You got the money?


Did you see him there? Hm?

Are you sure?

He's your contact.
Bob Tread way.

That's not Bob.
He's a younger fellow.

What about her? Hm?

Nah, I only saw a younger chick.

Blonde, cute.

There was no one there, huh.

There was nobody else inside.

Not that I know of.

You sure?

[ Sighs ]
Yeah, I'm sure.

[ Whirring ]

[ Cellphone buzzing ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Doorbell rings ]

Martha, my dear.

I thought I'd finally
drop over for a visit.

I baked you some cookies.


I've never seen this place
from the inside.

Real nice.

Maybe you can give me a tour.

Now's not really a good time.

Vern: Hey, Sugarplum!

Have you seen my phone?

Bob, honey, we have a guest.

Cole T. Baxter.


Nice to meet you, Bob.
Can I call you Bob?

Well, that's my name.

I was just telling Martha here

that I've never seen
this place from the inside.

Yeah, there's not much
to see here.

Oh, I don't believe that
for a second.

You know, thank you so much
for these cookies,

but we are actually really busy.

More work on the backyard?

Yeah, I noticed
you've been busy, huh.

What do you want?

Oh, Bob, you don't want
to be doing that.

Yeah, why not?

Well, because that would
make this a bit messy.

You see this trigger?

If I let go of my finger,
it's boom time.

No more Bob and Martha.

That's not real.

Only one way to find out, huh?

This is a nice setup
you got here.

What is it?




Ah, cocaine.

Not bad.

Yuppies make great
customers, am I right?

More reliable
than those meth heads.

Just tell us what
the fuck you want.

Straight to the business,
huh, Bob?

I like that.

Well, I need you to, uh,

take care of
a little problem for me.

What kind of little problem?

Have a cookie.
You'll see.


Who is she?

The hack who murdered my wife.

Doctor, if you want to
call her that.

Sarah Wilkinson.

And what does she have
to do with us?


...because I want you to...

kill her for me.

Bob, where are you,

[ Cellphone vibrating ]

[ Chimes ]

[ Cellphone vibrating ]

Hi, Andrea.
What's up?

Andrea: Where are you?

Home. Where else?

Cut the bullshit.
I know you're not at home.

You're going after
the Tread ways, aren't you?

So what?

Goddammit, Cooper!
Let it go!

Evan specifically
told you not to.

You're gonna lose your job.

Yeah, thanks for the warning.

This is not gonna bring
back your partner.

He wouldn't want this.

His name was Jason.

And you have no idea
what he would want.

Jesus Christ, Cooper.

If you're gonna do this,
let's do it the right way.

Yeah, yeah, 'cause it worked
so well the last time, hm?

At least get backup.

I'll think about it.
I got to go.

Don't you hang...


Let me get this straight.

This doctor lady who treated
your wife and she died.

She killed her.

Yeah, all right. She killed her.

Killed her.

So now you want us to go
and whack her?


Shouldn't be too big
of a problem,

based on all the activity
you've been having.

You know, we're not just
some fucking wholesale

assassins, okay?

If you want her dead,
hire someone or do it yourself.

Martha, relax.

No, she's right.

Do it yourself.

Look, the way I see it,

you got a nice little operation
going on here.

Lots of money exchanging
hands, I assume.

You already got a pet cemetery
in the backyard,

so what's one more
to keep this going on, right?

Or I'll just go
and call the cops.


Let's just say for now
we'll consider it.

Then what happens after we take
care of your little problem?

You're just gonna go away
and not tell anyone about us?

We're neighbors.

None of my business
what you do around here.

A little too late for that.

So you take care of
a little problem for me

and just call it a favor.

How do we know we can trust you?

Martha, Martha, Martha.

Have I ever lied to you?

You're crazy, and we
are not doing this.


We're not actually thinking
about doing this?

Are we?

He hasn't exactly
given us options.

She makes a good point, Bob.

You can go fuck yourself.

Hey, come here.

Yeah, go and chat.

I'll wait.

Now this is insane.

We can't just go around town
shooting people.

It's not people,
it's one person.

Who killed someone.

Yeah, so he says.

You don't even know her.

Exactly. So I have no reason
to shoot her either.

Vern, what else are we gonna do?

He's not exactly
giving us options here.

All right, what if,
now just hear me out,

what if we tell him
that we'll do it,

then we get in the car,

we get the fuck
out of this city.

Cole: Oh, and before I forget,
only one of you goes.

The other one stays here
with me.

And I'm not talking
about the big boy.

I fucking hate that guy.



We are so close

to getting that money
and starting a new life.

Yeah, I guess.

[ Groans ]
What's wrong?

Nothing, she just
kicked extra hard.


I'll do it.

Are you sure?


I'm sure.

All right, here's the deal,
you motherfucker.


Pedro. You're up.


What's going on?
Where's Mika?

He left.
He's gone.

Yeah, he's left all right.

What happened?

I don't know, buddy.
You just kind of hit the floor.

I did?

Yeah, you had us scared
there for a moment.

You were out all day.

How's your head?

It hurts.

Cole: You really got
to be careful.

Most accidents happen
in the home.

[ Mouthing words ]

Come on, Pedro, let's get some
ice for your head.

You'll be all right, buddy.

So... do we have a deal?

Yeah, we have a deal.


The address is on the back.

Oh, and I want proof.

What proof?

A photo, a finger, body.

Whatever your imagination
comes up with.


Oh, and take the kid.

I'm not in the mood
for babysitting.

What the hell am I supposed
to tell him?

Not my problem.

Okay, listen...

Ah, ah, ah!

Pedro, let's take a drive.

Pedro: Huh? Why?

Pedro, just get...

Pedro, just do me this favor
and get in the car.



[ Engine starts ]

Where are we going?

To lose the last little bit of
self respect I have.



Buckle up, buddy.


You're gonna go into labor
with all that pacing.

Have a cookie.

You think you ought to be
doing that?

The Surgeon General says
it's not good for you.

Says the man who's
holding me hostage with a bomb.

So, what's your name?

You already know my name.
It's Martha.

Oh, come on.
Aren't we past all that already?

What's your real name?



[ Russia accent ] Tasha.

[ Normal accent ] Natasha.
I like it.

How long do we need
to wait here?

Until she comes home.


Who is she?

I don't know,
just some doctor lady.

Why are we here?
Did Mika ask us to do this?

Yeah, that's it.
It was Mika.

So what's with the truck, Bob?

What do you mean?

I mean, it's a little vintage.

There's nothing wrong
with Bessie.


Yeah, Bessie.

She still runs great.

I guess, I mean, if that's
your only criteria.

[ Chuckles ] I've had
her since high school.

They don't make them
like this anymore.

You're right about that?


Do you think I need
to get a new truck?


Cole: Why are you
so worried?

Afraid he'll screw it up?

Or ditch you?

Of course not.

Well, then relax.
He'll be back.

He's not gonna ditch
his own kid.

What's wrong?


No, it's something.

It's not his kid, is it?

[ Sighs ]

Well, I'll be damned.

And he's still sticking around?

Well, he's a bigger man
than I realized.

Shut up!

No, I mean it.

Taking care
of another man's kid?

Not many men would do that.

I know I sure wouldn't.

Yeah, no surprise there.


I know I got flaws.
[ Chuckles ]

I never said I was perfect.

And I never will.

But your guy,

he doesn't sound too bad.

That's some true love there.

Do you have kids?

My wife was pregnant once.

And it was a boy.

We named him
Daniel Travis Baxter.

Now that was a name.


We lost him.

One week before the due date.

What happened?

He had some sort of heart defect

or some other God damn shit
the doctor said.

He never even had a chance.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, well, life is what
it is, you know.

His life just wasn't
meant to be.

But me and Elizabeth,
we got through it together.

As best as you can.

It wasn't easy, but we did it.

We had each other.

Until that hack doctor
took her from me.

It wasn't her time to go.

It wasn't supposed
to happen like that!

It's okay, hey.

It's okay, it's okay.
It's okay.


[ Chuckles ]

I'm sorry.

Pedro: Is that her?

[ Sighs ]

Yeah, it has to be.

Okay, so, what are we supposed
to do exactly?

What... What's that for?!

Pedro, I'm not gonna lie to you.

We're gonna kill her.

We're gonna what now?

You're not serious, right?

Just keep an eye on the road.

[ Screams ]
[ Screams ]

You two shut up,
just everybody shut up!

Shut the fuck up!
I have money.

I don't want
your God damn money.

Shut up, lady.

I'm really sorry about this,
all right?

But he's got my girl.
All right?


Alright, this is happening.




Come on, Vern, this is


This is happening.

[ Sobs ]

God damn it!

Shit. I can't do it!

You decide that now?

I'm going to plan B.

[ Screams ]

Shut the fuck up and move.
Fucking move.

What's plan B?

We're taking her with us. He can
deal with her himself.


Just shut the fuck up.
It doesn't matter.

Get the rope from
the back of the truck.

[ Screaming ]
Just shut up.

I'm so confused.

I know, buddy, but you're doing
so good, all right?

It's almost over.
It's almost over.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Expecting someone?


Well, get rid of them.

Oh, and no funny business.

My dear Tasha.

There you are.

How did you find me?

We're a family, and we always
find our lost sheep.

And there's nothing stronger

than the bond of a family.

Wouldn't you agree?

What the fuck is going on?

Padre, is there something
we can do for you?

And you are?

A friend.

Well, we are a family,
and we're leaving.

Doesn't look like the little
lady wants to go with you.

I'm Father Roger.
What's your name?

Mr. Baxter to you.

Mr. Baxter.

We appreciate you being here,
taking care of our Tasha.

But it's our turn now.

Do you want to go with them?

Go on, tell him.

I need to go with them.

I didn't ask you if you need to.

I asked you if you want to.


She made it clear.

She stays.

You two can go.

This doesn't concern you.

Actually, it does.

She and I have a little
unfinished business.

And until that business
gets taken care of,

she's not going anywhere.

And neither am I.

[ Siren chirps ]

Oh, shit!

Not again.

Oh, my God!

We have a lady in the back
of the truck.

We're gonna get arrested!

I'm gonna need
for you to keep calm

for me, buddy, all right?

Listen, take deep breaths, okay?

Just deep breaths, okay?

Deep breaths.

I can't do this.

You can do it. You can do
this, all right?

Just I'm gonna need you
to reach down,

I mean really deep down,

and find your
inner asshole, okay?

My inner asshole?

Yeah, that's right.
Everybody has one.

Yours just is buried
a little deeper than most,

but it's there, trust me.


That's right.

Deep breaths.

Inner asshole.

You're a fucking
machine, all right?

A machine.
A fucking machine.

Evening, officer.
[ Chuckles ]

What seems to be the problem?

Your right tail light is out.

Oh, no.
I had no idea.

Thanks for the information,


What the hell are you
doing here?

Where the fuck did that
mustache come from?

Do I know you?


Yeah, we've met.

How are you feeling?

I'm feeling fine.

You know what?

You must know
my twin brother, Ken.

[ Laughs ] Yeah, Ken.

His twin brother, Ken.

Oh, of course.

Oh, Ken.

What's your name?

Bob. Bob?

Bob. Hm.

I've never heard him
mention you before.

[ Chuckles ] What?
That's strange.

Well, then again,
it's not that strange, is it?

You know, it's not like I go
wandering around town

talking about Ken, you know?

Yeah, I suppose.

So, uh, how do you know Ken?

Oh, you know, we're just

old drinking buddies,

you know, shooting buddies,
just really buddy buddies.

Is that so?

You wouldn't happen to
remember the last time

you saw him, would you?

It's been a few days
or, God, a week or two.


Yeah, it's been a while, man.

You wouldn't happen
to know where he's at?

We're looking for him.

You know, because of the
suspension and the allegations.

Oh, yeah.

Those dirty allegations.

Sorry, I don't know where he is.

Hm. Well, I'm sure he'll
turn up once he cools down.

He's probably just out
chasing pussy in Vegas again,

am I right?
[ Laughs ]

You know, old poon hound Ken.

Oh, that dog.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Well, I won't keep you
anymore of your time.

Fix that tail light, will you?

Will do, Dewy.

[ Both laugh ]

[ Both sigh ]

Holy shit.

That was close.

Hey, I can't do this.

Oh, no, you did great, buddy.

You know, he didn't
suspect a thing.

No, not just that.

All of this.

Papa was right,
I'm not cut out for this.

Hey, hey, don't think like that.

You can do whatever
you want to do, all right?

[ Motorcycle engine starts ]

But, do you even want to
do any of this?

[ Sighs ] Well, this wasn't
exactly my childhood dream.

What do you want to do?

Seriously, do you want to know?

Yeah, of course.

[ Sighs ]

I want to be a fashion designer.

You know, bags and clothes,
pretty stuff like that.

All right.

I know it's stupid.

No, no, no, hey, buddy,

if that's what your heart wants,

then that's what
your heart wants, okay?

Huh. I like that.

Oh, shit!

[ Grunting ]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey.
No, no, no.

Get her! Get her!

I'm trying.


Help me!

Somebody please help me!

We're not gonna hurt you,
all right?

We're not gonna hurt you.
All right, we're not gonna...

We personally
are not gonna hurt you,

but there's this other guy,
Cole T. Baxter, okay?

Wait, Baxter?


This is about him?


We explained this to him
and his lawyers a million times!

It was an accident!
Shh, shh, shh!

I didn't kill his wife!
I believe you, I believe you.

I totally believe you,
and if we just get in the car

and go explain it all to him,

then we can go about
just living our lives again.

Okay? All right.
Come on, lady.

Let's just
get back in the truck.

Come on.

Come on, lady. Just back in
the truck. Please?

Fuck you!

[ Splat ]

Pedro: Is she okay?

Doctor lady?

I think she's dead.

Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.

[ Groans ]

I fucking hate dead bodies.

What are you doing?

I don't care if you
are a preacher.

You can get the hell
out of here.

Why don't we pray?

I'm not really much
of a religious man.

I can change that.

A gun? Really?

Wait, you shoot him,
and we are all dead.

She's right.
You see this?

I let go of this,

and you'll be preaching in
a warmer place, padre.

Huh, interesting.

What can I say?
I'm an interesting man.


What's it gonna be?

I think I'll just leave it up
to the higher power.

[ Gunshot ]
[ Screams ]

[ Groans ]
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

The Lord giveth,
and the Lord taketh away.

I'm sorry.

[ Insects chirping ]

[ Vehicle approaching ]

[ Sighs ] Okay, okay.

Whose red truck is that?

Pedro: I don't know, but it's
nicer than yours.

Shut the fuck up, Pedro.

Oh, fuck this!

[ Gasps ]
Why did you do that?!

He did nothing to you!

Like I said, the Lord gives
and the Lord takes.

Can we go home now?


Babe, what's going on?


Who's this?

We're her family,
and we're taking her home,

where she belongs.

You son of a bitch!

Drop it, or I'll blow
your head off!

Oh, yeah?
I'll blow his head off!

Easy, sister.

He who is slow to anger
quiets contention.

Jesus Christ,
just shoot him already.

Nobody move!

Who the hell are you?

DEA! Drop the guns!

I can't do that.

Drop them. Now!

You don't understand, man.
There's a situation going on.

He's the one you want.

The only one I want is Bob.

Huh? Tread way,
get out here! It's over.

You're looking for Bob?

Yes. Where is he? Huh?

Bob's dead.

No, no, no, no.

You're fucking with me.

But not this time, okay?

Not this time.

Okay, I'm not leaving here
without him!

This is your only chance.
Come out!

I'm telling you he's dead.
I shot him myself.

You shot Bob?

You're not Bob?

Hey, listen, buddy.

It's still me,
it's still the same guy,

just a different name, okay?

What name?
What is your name?


I can't believe you lied to me.

It's for your own good, buddy.

How? How is this
for my own good?

What else have you lied
to me about?

Nothing. I swear.

Just shut
the fuck up! Okay?

Now, is Bob really dead?


Yes, he's fucking dead.

What about Martha? Hm?

She's dead, too.
They're both dead.

You killed Martha, too?!

Listen, buddy.
You wouldn't have liked them.

They were these
fucking carp loving,

sweater knitting,
fucking shitheads okay?

You're better off without them.

I'm not the villain here, okay?

If they're really dead,
prove it.

How the fuck am I supposed to...

Okay, listen.

I buried them in the backyard.

I'll take you back there,
I'll show you the graves myself.

You swear he's dead?

Yeah, yeah, I fucking swear.

I can't believe it.

Oh, I can't believe it.

The motherfucker's finally gone.

Yeah, that's right.
He's gone.

You're under arrest,

For what?

Well, for one, you just said
you killed two people.

Fucking serious?

Yes, I'm fucking
serious! Okay?

Against the car now!
Now. or I'll shoot.


Okay, pookie. Just put the gun
down. It's gonna be okay.

I'm putting it down, all right?

Against the car, now!

You have the right
to remain silent.

Anything you say can
and will be used against you

in a court of law.

You have the right
to an attorney.

I'm a machine.

If you cannot afford
an attorney...

I'm a machine.


[ Grunting ]

[ Thud ]
Holy shit!

You can't...
You can't just...

Why the fuck...

You can't just go around
shooting people!

Why not?
You do it all the time.

That's different.

How is it different?

'Cause I'm a bad guy.

Hey, asshole!



Let go of me!

Not today.

[ Grunts ]

[ Laughs ]

Those who do not know God...

Adios, Padre.

See you in hell, Holy Man.

[ Spits ]

Cole: I-i-i-s she dead?

Looks dead to me.

Not her.

The doctor.

Oh, her.

Yeah, she's dead, too.

[ Coughing ]
Oh, good.

[ Sighs ]

[ Gun thuds ]

Guys, this is cute, but
shouldn't we get out of here?

[ Crackling, beeping ]


[ Explosion ]

What was that?

I-I think that was your truck.

He blew up Bessie?

Blew up Bessie...





Where's that baby?
Who's that little baby?

You want to help Papa?

Here's how you help Papa.

You take a little spoon full
and you put it in here.

Then you close it all up
nice and tight,

so you don't have
any little accidents.

Then you put it over here
and you take another one,

and we do it all again and...

You had a little accident
over there, baby?

That's all right.
It happens to the best of us.

We'll just wait until
your mama gets here,

and then she can
take care of it for you.

That's right.

Well, here we go.

[ Gasping ]

I got it.

You saw that?

[ Sighs ]

Please don't teach her that.

Why not?

In a couple years,
she can be my little helper.


Do you want to be
my little helper?

I think not.
[ Chuckles ]

Oh, hi, little sweet...

Oh, yeah, she made a little
present there for you.

Okay, little one, time to eat

and time to change that diaper.

Okay, I know.
We'll give you some.

[ Doorbell rings ]
Here. Here you go.

I'll get it.

Good morning.

You got the stuff?

What is that?

Which one do you like?
They're both original Pedros.


Maybe the glitter one.

It goes good with your eyes.

You guys are so weird.

I have more colors.

Spread the word.