Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (2017) - full transcript

Dreamworks
Animation presents...

In association with...

Tree House Comix, Inc.!

Inc., Inc., Inc.

All right, okay. So.

A long, long,
long, long time ago...

in a galaxy far, far away...

there was a planet called
Underpantyworld.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Okay, go.

That's perfect.
That's perfect. Okay.



Underpantyworld was
a peaceful planet

where everybody wore
only underwear.

Until it started to blow up
for some reason.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
Da-da.

Meanwhile, the leaders
of Underpantyworld...

Big Daddy Longjohns and his
wife, Princess Pantyhose...

...saved their baby

by stretching his underwear
really far...

and then
they shot him into space.

Godspeed, little Underpants.

Whee!

Whee!

And then he crashed on Earth,

where he was raised
by some nice...



Dolphins?

Yeah, dolphins.
Just go with it.

Okay, fine.

Goo-goo, gah-gah.

Tra-la-la-la-la-la.

But the space baby
grew up fast.

Look! Up in the sky!

It's a bird!
It's a plane!

It's an egg salad sandwich.

And guess what? I'm rotten.

Faster than
a speeding waistband.

More powerful

- than boxer shorts.
- Yay!

You'll never catch me,
Captain Underpants.

Owie.

Able to leap tall buildings
without getting a wedgie.

Hey, all right.
Good for you, pal.

Now put on some clothes,
you weirdo.

No way.

I fight for truth, justice,

and all that is
pre-shrunk and cottony.

For I am...

Captain Underpants!

The origin issue.

It's so good. We should've
done an origin issue ages ago.

Yeah, like, first.

You know, I'm not sure
about the dolphins, though.

Yeah, I know. It's just...

I didn't know if it was
the thing where it's,

like, good weird or bad weird.

Like, is it something...

The origin issue!

I've told you two
a thousand times

not to draw
these idiotic comics!

Freeze!

Hey, everybody!
Wait one second.

Hi. I'm George Beard.

And this is my best friend,
Harold Hutchins.

Hey. Ah, man.

It's okay. We got more ideas.

See, Harold loves to draw
and I love to tell stories.

And this old guy looking angry
right here...

well, this is the worst
principal in the world...

Mr. Krupp.

Mean old Mr. Krupp.

Hates anything fun.

Like comic books...

recess...

Christmas.

Ho, ho, whoa!

Even kittens!

Oh, my goodness.
Did that really happen?

Uh, no, not technically.

But it might as well have!

I'm sorry.
I'm still mad about the comic.

Yeah, me too.

And unfreeze.

In my office, now!

What is happening right now?

I don't know.

Do you think he fell
asleep with his eyes open?

Maybe. Let's try and leave
and see what happens.

Door lock activated.

Wow. That's an expensive door.

It was a choice between the
magnetic automatic door closer...

and the music
and arts programs.

Pretty sure
I made the right choice.

This morning's school sign
is supposed to read...

"Sewage plant field trips
are today."

So can either of you explain
why it now reads...

"Come see my hairy armpits?"

I know you two
are responsible.

How? How do you know?
Do you have any proof?

I mean,
this is a country of laws.

The proof is here.

Inside my gut.

He must have
a lot of proof in there.

Quiet fives.
Quiet fives.

Hmm.

Ever since you attended
this elementary school...

you've been responsible
for one prank after another.

Shh...

Wow, that's a lot of pranks.

Yeah, when it's cut
all together like that,

you really get a sense
of the scope.

Some of those must've been
really hard to pull off.

And dangerous.
Like that tiger.

Oh, that tiger was crazy.

For four long years...

you two have been disrupting

the carefully calibrated,
drone-like beehive...

that this elementary school
is supposed to be.

I may not be able
to prove it yet...

but I'm gonna get you two
one day.

One day very, very soon.

All right.
Fair enough.

Get out of my office. Now!

You see what we're up against?

And that's just a typical day
at Jerome Horwitz Elementary.

More like
Jerome Horwitz Penitentiary.

Hey, guys.

What's going on, Tommy?

Same old, same old.

Poor kid.

Time to have fun with history.

Memorize these dates.

1827, 1853, 1914, 1926.

First graders.
Always hits them the hardest.

Hold on a sec.

So that's why
we do what we do.

He's left us no choice.

Our pranks and practical jokes

are the last line
of defense...

against the injustice
of our terrible principal.

Well, well, well.

I heard you both got into

a bit of
the old trouble today.

How'd you hear that, Melvin?

Did you tattle-tale on us?

Maybe I did, maybe I didn't.

I did.

Someone has to
stand up for the Man.

No one has to
stand up for the Man.

That's the whole point
of the Man.

He stands up
for himself, Melvin.

Respectfully disagree.

Attention, everyone.

Principal Krupp here

with an announcement.

This Saturday is the mandatory
Invention Convention.

Boo!
Oh, what?

Yes!

That's our third Saturday
this month!

You must be here with
your inventions at 8:00 am.

Is there no justice?

I know that's early
for Saturday, but don't worry.

You should be done by 9:00...

pm.

Tree house?

Tree house.

Welcome to
the world headquarters

of Tree House Comix, Inc.

Yep. This is
where the magic happens.

Not, like, actual magic.

No, we're not
practicing the dark arts.

No, here we just hang out
and make comics

and try to
make each other laugh.

That's how we became friends.

This is me in kindygarten.

And this is me.

George and I
aren't friends yet.

But we're about to be.

The seventh planet
from the sun is called...

Uranus.

Scientists refer to Uranus...

Your anus.

...as one of the planets...

I know.

...known as a gas giant.

I don't get it.
It's just science, guys.

As I was saying...

Hey, I'm George. You wanna

hang out in my tree house
after school?

You have a tree house?

Ever since then, we've created
hundreds of comics in here.

Like the Wrath of
the Wicked Wedgie Woman.

And who could forget Sad Worm?

It was a worm who was sad.

That one's
still a work in progress.

But the all-time
greatest superhero

that we've ever created was...

The Amazing
Captain Underpants.

See, most superheroes
look like

they're flying around
in their underwear.

Well, this guy actually does.

Come on, let's get to work.

Hey, tell me what you think.

Oh, I can't wait to draw this.

Tra-la-laaa!

Wait, wait.
Don't move, don't move.

Mr. Hutchins, I gotta say...

your drawings get better
with every issue.

Because your words
inspire greatness, Mr. Beard.

Good night, Harold.

Good night, George.

I love Saturday

When anything is possible

I love Saturday

'Cause I can wear
my pajamas all all day

I love Saturday

'Cause I can watch
TV all day Day

I can pee a little bit
in my underwear

And no one will mind

Where are you going with that?
Do you really do that?

No. What are you talking...

It's just something
I could do because...

Monday's an eternity away

When it is Saturday
Saturday

Get in the car, boys.

You've got the
Invention Convention today.

This thing on?

Quick announcement.

Our science teacher, Mr. Fyde,
is no longer with us.

He's dead?

What? No. Not like that.

He wanted to spend Saturday
with his family.

So I fired him.

I'll find a replacement
next week.

Ahem! Anyway...

on to Melvin Sneedly
with the first of his 16...

Actually, it's 17.

...17 inventions.

Take it away, Melvin.

I will now demonstrate
a prototype which I call...

the Robotic Sock Matcher.

Never waste time matching
your own socks again.

The Electromagnetic
Lint Collector.

Digital Paper Sorter.

It's the homework...
Automatic cushion.

Make it end!

And the personal favorite,
the binder binder.

Having trouble
organizing your binders?

Well, look no further
than this giant binder...

for binders.

Three-hole punch...

This is the stuff
of nightmares.

We have to do
something about this.

I don't know. Krupp looks
serious this time, George.

Maybe we should
just lay low for a while.

Lay low?
Look at our fellow children.

Look upon their sad,
miserable, pathetic faces.

Come on, Harold.

If you won't do it for me
and you won't do it for you...

do it for future generations.

Save the first graders...

the kindygarteners,
the unborn...

from a life
of eternal boredom!

Okay, let's do this.

Feast your eyes on this.

The Turbo Toilet 2000!

Check it out, people.

It's already programmed with

my personal potty playlist.

Screwdriver.

Oh, samba!

Once you're done
using the facilities...

hit the button
and let my toilet wash itself.

Now included, automatic
toilet paper wiping claw.

Trademark.

Um...

I said no!

Huh? Oh...

Melvin, turn that thing off.

I'm trying to,
but it's not cooperating.

Best.
Prank.

Ever.

Well, that brings our story
to its happy conclusion.

I hope you've all
enjoyed the film.

It was certainly shorter
than we expected.

What more is there to say?

Our fellow students got
to enjoy their weekend.

Which, by the way,
they are legally entitled to.

And good triumphed over evil
once and for...

Oh, boys! A moment, please.

What's happening to his face?

I think he's smiling.

I'm so cold.

So, so cold.

I'll let myself in,
receptionist lady.

Melvin.

What's he doing here?

You see, Melvin
is yet to demonstrate...

his most impressive invention
from today.

It was a little
extracurricular project

I asked him
to come up with myself.

I call him
the Tattle Turtle 200.

On the outside,
it resembles a turtle.

But on the inside,
oh, look at this.

It's a nanny cam!

Oh, Melvin. How fun.

Let's see what it recorded.

Yeah, you gotta change
the input to video.

I think I got this.

You're on AUX.
Change it to video.

It's not my TV.

It's your turtle.
You're doing it wrong.

I know.

I think I know
how to do my office.

Screwdriver.

Is this two-ply or one-ply?

We're so guilty.

Quiet fives. Quiet fives.

Wow, that nanny cam

really has good
picture quality.

Was that hi-def?

'Cause you could
really tell that's us.

I can't believe it.
I gotcha.

I finally gotcha!

We've finally got them, sir.

Yes, yes. Well done, Melvin.
Extra credit granted.

Put that in my pocket.

Extra credit,
it feels so good!

I got extra credit

I told you
I would get you one day.

And that day
I was talking about

is this day.

Today. This is the day.

Are you going to tell
our parents?

No. Your parents are obviously
total failures.

I have a much more effective
punishment in mind.

Because I'm going to have
you two placed in separate...

classes.

I'm going to annihilate
your friendship.

What? No!

You see?
You won't be together.

You won't be able to enjoy

each other's company
and ruin my life.

Mr. Krupp, no.
You can't do this. Please.

This is too much.
I mean, even for you.

Enjoy the rest
of your weekend, boys.

Because come Monday...

Separate classes.
Our friendship's over.

I'll never see you again
in my life!

Hey, hey. Calm down.

It's not the end of the world.

We'll still be best friends.

Just way down the hall
from each other.

What am I talking about?
This is bad.

Long distance relationships
never work!

This is just the beginning.

Imagine the future.

Friends separated...

promising each other
they'll remain besties.

But within months,

we'll be awkwardly bumping
into each other at the mall.

Hey, George.

Hey. Do I know you?

You'll have a weird haircut.

I'll be wearing
a suit for some reason.

And before we know it,

separate classes
will lead to separate lives...

which inevitably
leads to robots.

What? Why are there robots
at the mall?

Because this is the future!
The future always has robots.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Why are the robots
shooting other robots?

Aren't they
supposed to be friends?

I don't know!

I'm the artist,
you're the writer.

That's why we need each other.

Help! Fire!

Okay, you're right.
No, you are right.

I mean, if we get put
in separate classes,

it's the end of the world
as we know it.

What are we gonna do?

Oh, I'll tell you
what we're gonna do.

First thing Monday morning,
we're getting that turtle.

Edith!

Oh, is this a bad time?

I did not mean to interrupt
the copying process.

I'll go.

Yes, go! Please go.

No, no. I'm just finishing up.

What brings you around here?

I just made
this tuna casserole...

and I noticed
it had your name on it...

in jalapeno peppers.

Mmm...

It smells spicy.

Yep. Mmm-hmm.

That's 'cause it's been
dry-aged for a week.

I don't know what that means,

but it sounds
very time-consuming.

It took a week.

Eww. They like each other.

Oh, no, George.
I think it's much worse.

They like-like each other.

What are you talking about?

Adults don't
like-like other adults.

Well, you probably haven't
seen it at your home

since your parents
are married.

In my studies, like-liking
seems to end with marriage.

Well, I should probably get
back to running the school.

You know,
it's not gonna run itself.

But...

Oh, Edith. Get your head
out of the clouds.

Wait, Edith! You never gave me
the tuna casserole.

I think
he forgot the turtle.

Go, go, go.

That's important.

Great. What now?

Hello.
If you would like the chance

to win one billion dollars...
Ooh.

please hold for
one of our representatives.

It's gotta be
in here somewhere.

Ugh.

Whoa!
What?

Everything Krupp
ever confiscated from us.

Look at all that stuff.

Oh, dear old whoopee cushion.

You will sing once again.

Oh, my
Super Duper Soaking Machine!

My hypno-ring!

I never even got to take it
out of the wrapper.

Wow.

Look at this.

He's got every issue
of Captain Underpants

we've ever created.

You think he reads them?

I was kinda hoping
that we appealed

to a slightly
cooler demographic.

Well, if it isn't George Beard
and Harold Hutchins.

To what do I owe the pleasure?

Is it perhaps this?

Oh, no.

Nice try.

Turtle and I have grown
quite attached.

We're inseparable, actually.

I carry him wherever I go.

Including the shower!

Oh.
Poor turtle.

Oh, what's this?

Why, it's the paperwork

to separate you two.

It's really incredible.

I can actually see
the end of your friendship.

And it ends right here.

On this dotted line.

George, do something.

Put the pen down, Mr. Krupp...

or we'll hypnotize you.

What?
What?

You said do something.

What is that?

Forged from the molten
plastic of Shandong, China.

In the lowest floor
of the darkest basement

where only toy prizes
dare be made...

exists the most
powerful item...

ever to be found in a box
of Frosted Sugar Doodles.

The hypno-ring.

Hypnotize me?

With that piece
of plastic junk?

Does that really work?

What do you think?
I got it out of a cereal box.

I'm warning you.

If you don't do what we say,

you're gonna
get really sleepy.

Oh, will I?
I'll get sleepy?

With that thing
pointing at me?

It's not making me sleepy.

I'm not gonna
get sleepy from...

Whoa!

What kind of
plastic hokum is this?

Whoa!

What's happening?
I don't know.

Why are we floating?

What was that?

I don't know.

I honestly didn't think
that would happen.

Gotcha. You're safe now,
little turtle.

When I snap my fingers,

you will obey
our every command.

Wait. How do you know this?

I don't know.
I just say the first thing

that comes to my mind
with great authority.

You are now a chicken.

It worked!

He's a chicken.

Okay, let me try. Let me try.

You're a monkey.

Oh! Look at him,
he's a monkey!

Come on.

You are now

the greatest superhero
of all time...

the amazing
Captain Underpants!

Tra-la-laaaaa!

Captain Underpants?
Is that really you?

Let's see.

Underpants, check.

Captain, also check.

I'm pretty sure
I'm Captain Underpants.

It worked!

Which must make you
my trusty sidekicks!

Sidekicks?

Fear not, this planet is safe
under my watchful eye.

This is hilarious!
This is amazing!

Let's see what's afoot.

Wait, no!

Well, that was invigorating.

We gotta stop him.
Why?

Huzzah!

Out of the road, bozo!

Why, thank you,
vehicle person!

Ow!

Yeah, we should
probably go get him.

Captain Underpants, wait!

Oh!
Ha-ha!

What is this?

Poor soul. You're trapped

in some sort of
invisible box-like prison.

What's that? I can't hear you.

But I see your tears.

Is it okay
that I'm kinda loving this?

Yes and no. But mostly yes.

Fear not,
for I will set you free!

Ow!
Ooh!

What is wrong with you?

Ah, that's better.
I can hear you now.

Sorry, sorry. We're so sorry.

Okay, listen, let's not be

punching people,
though, because...

Hold it.

Here, let me help.
Oh!

You're welcome, madam.

You know,
we should probably get you

back to the school
before anything else...

Halt!
What?

Do you sense that?
No.

Well, of course you don't.

You're not a superhero
like me.

Come, sidekicks.
Evil lurks within!

Oh, no!

Where'd he go now?

To the sky!

You'd think a guy like him
would be easy to find.

Found him.

Stand down,
you giant ape monster!

Giant ape monster?
What is he talking...

Your days of terrifying
this town are over!

Mr. Krupp!
I mean, Captain Underpants!

You can't actually fly!

Now I take to the sky...

like an ostrich!

I gotcha!

We gotta do something.

I've got an idea.

Morning.
Morning.

Oh, that is a lot of buttons.

Take that! Ah, cheap shot!

Ow! Right in the kisser!

No!

Oh, hi, guys!

Wait! No!

Follow that gorilla!

Oh, you put up a good fight!

Yeah! You are so good
at operating a crane, Harold.

I know!
It's really not that hard.

Rest assured,

citizens of
this marvelous metropolis...

I will rid you of this menace
any moment now!

Come on. Oh, come on,
come on, come on.

Victory!

Yes!
Bravo!

Oh, no, no, no!

Let that be a lesson
to evildoers everywhere.

Never underestimate the power
of underwear!

Who the heck are you?

What the...

Wow! I can't believe
we found a spot.

Oh, goodness.
Grandpa, you did it again.

He's a sleepwalker.

Come on, pap pap,
let's get you back into bed.

But what about all the other
evil villains?

Well, don't worry about that.

There's no more
evil villains around here.

A science teacher, hmm?

The perfect cover.

Chums! What
an astounding headquarters.

Stuffed full of relics...

all celebrating
my interplanetary exploits!

Oh, this takes me back.

What are we gonna do?
He can't just stay here.

We have to turn him back
into Krupp.

I know,
but can we just take a moment

to acknowledge
what's happening here please?

I mean, Captain Underpants is
hanging out in our tree house!

Look at
the cute little turtle.

Oh, he's so adorable.

Well, a hero's work
is never done.

Now it is time to fly again!

No, no, no, no!

Where am I?

Where are my pants?

Oh, no! He's Krupp again.

Ah!

Tra-la-laaa!

That's it! Now we know
what turns him back and forth.

Turns who what?

Why am I soaking wet?

Cool.
Hey.

Tra-la-laaa!

Harold!
Tra-la...

George!
Laaa!

We should probably stop.

Yeah, we probably should.

Stop doing this!
Tra-la...

I am Captain...

What are you doing?

Hello? Well, hello!

What's happening?
Fear not!

Didn't know I could do this.
Hey, sidekicks!

Tra! Hey! Heyo!

Tra-la-laaa!

Okay, this is the street.

Come on, come on.
We're almost there.

Evening.
Evening.

Drop it. No, get off. Gimme!
That's a bad dog.

We made it.

Yeesh.

I wonder
what horrors lie inside.

There's probably
wild dogs in there.

Probably torture implements.

Rabid rats.

Brains in jars.

Jars of plucked-out eyeballs.

Bones of former students.

Why'd you scream?

I just assumed
there'd be something scary...

but it's actually
a really nice place.

We probably
shouldn't snoop around.

Yeah. Definitely not.

Come on.

Huh.

Hmm.

Not So Cheery O's?

This guy's
bumming me out.

I gotta say, this has
not been the funnest snoop.

Yeah, no, totally.
Really sad snoop.

Kinda regretting it, actually.

I sure hope we don't ever
end up like him.

All alone.

It's impossible.
That would never happen.

Yeah, yeah.
That'll never happen.

Unless he puts us
in separate classes.

Which will never happen.

It'll never happen.
'Cause we control him now.

And if ever gives us
any trouble again,

all we gotta do
is snap our fingers...

and "Tra-la-laa!"

All of our problems go away.

Oh, yeah

Beautiful

Even more beautiful

Hey, Tommy. What's going on?

Hey, guys.

Whoa! Cool shirts!

What are you two
doing together?

I separated you.

No, you didn't.

What are you talking about?

I signed the paperwork. See?

I don't see a signature.

Harold, do you see
a signature?

Not a thing.

I actually can't see a thing.
These sunglasses are too dark.

What? I could have sworn
I signed that thing.

No matter. There!

Officially separated.

Forever.

What? Give me that.
Tra-la-laaa!

See? Problem solved.

Ooh!

Greetings, citizens!

Quick, in here.

Okay, you know what?

These shirts
were way premature.

Definitely. Come on.

Let's turn him back
into Krupp.

We can't. He'll separate us,
remember?

Yeah, well, we can't have him

wandering around
looking like that.

A triangle!

It dings!

Ah! Principal Krupp,
you caught us again.

You better take us
to your office

for a good old talking-to.

Right? Principal Krupp?

Principal who?

Captain Underpants,
get out here.

Sidekicks...

are you sure

my secret identity
requires these...

restricting,
uncomfortable clothes?

Yes, positive.

100% positive.
Now act like a principal.

Oh, right.

How does a principal act?

Mean!

Okey-doke.

I'm a principal!

Oh, yeah. That's great.

Come on. We're almost there.

Oh, hello. Surprise.

It's Edith.

Did you like
my tuna casserole?

I cannot lie.

I don't recall
having your tuna casserole.

What? Oh.

But if your casserole is

as striking
as your one blue eye...

Oh, I didn't think
you noticed.

Oh, my.

Two blue eyes.

Ooh!

Principal Krupp.
It's time to go.

Gotta wrap it up.

Very well then.

Up, up, and...

And this way, sir.

Ooh! Flirt alert.

A-ha!

Wow, she's still on hold.

Phew! We made it.

Well, hello, citizen.
What?

Oh, and hello to you, too.

I was just, like,
admiring the view...

from your broken window.

It's in the shape of a man.

Anyway, I am here to interview

for the science teacher
position.

Perfect. I'm disguised

as an elementary
school principal.

Guys, I totally got this.

Don't worry one bit.

Now, where did I put
that resume?

No, not that. Oh, this thing.

This one's fun.

Ooh!
Heads up.

That one's gonna leave a mark.

I've been looking for that.

Oh, not that.

Ah-ha! Here we go.

Hmm. Says here
you're a science teacher?

Not exactly.

But you have
teaching experience?

Oh, no, I can't say that I do.

Not even, like, babysitting?

I would never sit on a baby.

Camp counselor?

Never was a camp counselor.

Although
I did receive counseling...

for some trauma I experienced
as a child.

I'm getting a really good vibe
about you.

Now hold on.
Let me see that resume.

It says here that you were
a genius inventor?

Mad...

genius inventor.
But yes.

And then for
the last few years...

you've "been in
a very dark place"...

and your title was...

"Revenge Seeker?"

"Revenge at all costs...

"Die! Die!"

Am I reading this right?

Yeah, that's basically
what I've been up to...

so here I am!

Applying for a job in

the thriving
public school system...

with all of
its amazing resources.

But honestly,
kids are so understanding.

So innocent.

Their smiles brighten my heart
and fill me with...

a joy-adjacent feeling.

As long
as they are controlled...

and do not laugh
nor smile nor play nor laugh.

Children must never laugh!

Well, you seem terrific!

You're hired!

What?
Excellent.

Oh, by the way,
going to need Fridays off...

and every other Tuesday
through Thursday...

for my evil experiments.

Hope that's not a problem.
Okay, bye-bye!

Oh, this is bad.

We just hired a maniac
for a science teacher!

Uh, yeah. We gotta fix this
before Krupp finds out.

Sounds like a job
for Captain Underpants.

No, no, no.
You need to stay here.

Okay, you're
the principal, remember?

Yeah, just sit there
and look angry for no reason.

You got it. Grr...

Ooh!

That will be interesting
to put my eye up to.

What?
How did I get here?

Why is my face wet?

Hiya, class.

I'm your cool, new teacher.

Not some scary guy
with a secret evil agenda.

Anyway, I'm just going to dive
right in here.

If there was one thing

about this world
that you could change...

what would it be?

Ooh! Ooh! Peace on Earth.

Unattainable. Anyone else?

Pacific Ocean into chocolate.

Atlantic into nacho cheese.

It's like
we're the same person

and yet so, so different.

I love it.

But more importantly...

if I had to change one thing
about the world...

it would be to get rid of...

laughter.

Get rid of laughter?

What kind of person
wants to do that?

Oh, oh! Ah! Ah! Sir, sir.

Yes?

I love it.

Oh, look at this.
We got a grade A suck-up.

Good to know, good to know.

Anyway.

This is the brain
of an average child.

Right here is

the "thinking about candy"
lopalus.

The "fear of
what's under the bed" lobe.

This is the "only thing
I'll eat is pizza...

"chicken nuggets,
or buttered noodles" lobe.

Right here is the

"as soon as
someone else has a toy...

"I want that toy"
anterior lobe.

And this...

This is the
Hahaguffawchuckleamalus.

This funny little purple part

holds our entire capacity
for laughter.

For years,
I've tried to shrink it

or cut it out entirely...

but frustratingly,

our survival seems
dependent upon it.

I don't like this. I mean,
I don't really understand it.

But the stuff
I am understanding

seems genuinely bad to me.

Yeah, same.

Um... Excuse me, Professor P?

Why are you trying to
get rid of laughter?

Isn't laughter
the best medicine?

Medicine is the best medicine!
So...

Yeesh.

What?

What does the P stand for?

Excuse me?

The P. In your name.
What does it stand for?

Oh, it's private.

So that means your name is
Professor Privates?

What's so funny?

I don't get it.

Principal's office, now!

You too!

Why him?

Because your friendship
and shared sense of humor

irritates me...

and must be destroyed!

We gotta do something about
that new science teacher.

Yeah, it's like he's even more
of a villain than Krupp.

I didn't even think
that was possible.

Whoa! Whoa! Wait a second.
Tell me about it.

What? Who do you think...

Oh, okay. Maybe we could
fix this if we just...

Can you hear me?
No, that'll never work.

I'm sitting right here.

Wait, Professor P doesn't want
anybody to know his last name.

Right?
Right!

Who's Professor P?
Exactly!

Where is the respect?
I am your principal!

Wait, is he Krupp again?

George!
Yup. Pretty sure he is.

Harold!

How'd that even happen?

Tra-la-laaa!

Greetings!
I need to get the...

Sidekicks,
what do I need again?

The file
on the new science teacher.

Oh, right, right.

I need the bile
on the gooey fence creature.

Science teacher.

The dewy tense preacher?

The dial on the...

Oh, come on!

Thank you, human woman!

Sidekicks, explain to me

the importance
of this secret file.

There's a new
super villain in town

and we're trying to
discover his weakness.

Oh...

"Poopypants."

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

His name is Poopypants
We found his weakness

Hallelujah

He wants to rid the world

Of laughter

Forever

And ever

We will defeat him

Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Poopypants

Captain?
You forgetting something?

Oh, look at that.
They came off again.

Hey there, kiddo.

First day for Professor P.

Can you tell me where
the lunch is consumed?

What's going
on with your face?

Are you choking?

Do you need to sneeze?

I see, I see.

Got a case of
the giggles, huh? That's fun.

Well, I've got
just the remedy for that.

In the cage. Now!
Why?

Because I hate
laughter and children...

and I've got a cage
in a briefcase!

Okay, well, have a nice day.

Now what's for lunch?

Excuse me, could you explain
to me why this is funny?

You! Why is everyone laughing?

Uh, you're asking
the wrong dude.

"Captain Underpants
and the Perilous Plot of...

"Professor Poopypants."

Oh, What's happening?

I'm hyperventilating.

Esteemed members

of the Nobel
Prize Committee...

it is with great pride...

that I present to you...

the Sizerator 2000!

Ooh.
Oh.

Behold, we can smallify.

No more traffic jams.

And conversely, largify.

Look at how big
this hot dog is.

Going to need a lot of mustard
for this frankfurter!

The Nobel Peace Prize
in Inventing Stuff goes to...

um,

Professor...

Is that really your name?

It's not, like,
some kind of joke?

No. It's not, like, a joke.

It's a traditional name
in New Swissland.

Am I pronouncing it right?

Poopypants?

More or less. Except
the emphasis is on the "poop."

Why are you laughing?

I've invented a shrinking
and enlarging ray!

I should be famous!

I should be dating models
twice my size...

and doing
the talk show circuit!

I should be protecting
baby seals as a cause...

that I say I care about,
but not really!

This guy is too much!

Stop! Stop laughing!

No, stop it!
Okay.

Phew! Oh...

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Here. Take the award.

It's really fun
to say Poopypants.

You keep your stupid award!
I don't want it anymore.

Oh, and one more thing...

On behalf
of the Nobel Prize committee,

please accept our apology.

And could you change me
back now please?

Why don't you go on and invent

your own shrinking
and enlarging ray...

if you think you're so smart?

How much of that was out loud?

Extra! Extra!
Get our latest issue!

Captain Underpants
and the Perilous Plot

of Professor Poopypants.

Oh, no.

There you are. I've been
looking all over for you.

Hmm. How many A's
are there in "Tra-la-laaa?"

What?
I'll just go with 11.

Enjoying your
first day, professor?

The complete
opposite, actually.

Look at what these
little monsters have created!

We must lock them up,
probably, like, forever!

Hmm.

Oh, my.

This is not a comic.

This is a history book.

What?

And as such, it should be
taught in every classroom.

And you yourself
must teach it...

because that is
how good it is.

I don't understand.
I thought, like,

we'd be on the same page here.

What page is that?
I'm on page 9, here.

It's fantastic.

Look, look.

It's about
this evil science teacher...

who looks a lot like you,
by the way.

And he wanted to
rid the world of laughter...

but he couldn't figure out
how to do it.

Even worse, it seemed like
everywhere he went,

people were having fun
and laughing.

It just was infuriating.

But then, he discovered
someone who wasn't.

Why is it funny?

Anti-Humor Boy!

And then the professor says,
"Very interesting."

That's my voice for him.

Wait, wait, wait. Gimme that.

That's no Anti-Humor Boy.

That's the suck up from class.

Very interesting.

You boys
don't even realize it...

but your silly comic book
just helped me figure out...

how to wipe out laughter
on the... Oof!

Out of the road, bozo!

Hey, watch where you're going!

You just hit
Professor Poopypants.

Poopypants?

That's not funny!
That's not funny!

Ever heard
of the sidewalk?

Oh, if I had insurance,
you'd be in... Ow!

I'll admit that
was surprising.

Wow.

That actually
worked out for once.

Good job, Captain Underpants.

At your service, sidekicks.

Now where was I?

We should probably
get back to class, huh?

Yeah, we probably should.

Excuse me. Pardon me.
If you could just...

Watch your feet.
Excuse me.

Sorry. Thank you.
Oh, hey, Todd.

Now, let me ask you something.

If you could
control your principal...

what would you do?

Shh.
It's starting. It's starting.

I just wanna
make sure you apply

the extra credit
to next semester.

I won't be needing it
this semester, of course.

Oh, yeah. Sure, yeah.

Whatever floats
your boat, Melvin.

Excuse me?

Can I please get
an ice cream sandwich?

Yeah, scram, okay?
We're closed for Ebola.

Okay, just a quick check

to make sure
that we're connected.

Mmm-hmm. Okay.
We're sure that's safe?

And now,
some classic funny bloopers!

Ah. That's a good one.
Oh, this one's my favorite.

I'm sorry.
Why are you showing me this?

Ow.

Come on, that was funny!

That child walked
right into that rake.

I'm bored! What else is on?

Fascinating.
Computer, scan.

I don't believe it.

You know, I suspected

something smaller than normal,
but this...

This.
What? What is it?

I can't find it.
Your Hahaguffawchuckleamalus!

You don't have one!

I don't get it.
Exactly.

You have no sense of humor
like a chair or a supermodel.

Melvin, with your brain
and my brain together...

we can finally
wipe out laughter

for once and for all!

So George and Harold
want a supervillain...

well, ask
and ye shall receive!

I hereby declare...

the Jerome Horwitz
art program...

reinstated!

Oh...

After you, sir.

Ooh, what if we...
I'm already on it.

Oh, this is gonna be epic!

Come on, Captain, draw!

Move your hand
in the shape of a person!

Why does it look
like a chicken?

This whole visual
storytelling thing is hard!

Oh, that's good.

Here, these need words.

Hey, sidekicks...

why are we doing this again?

Well, we're making
school fun again.

You know, "free the children."

Hey, hey! What if we put
this panel right here?

Oh, yes! Yes, yes.

Ah, yes. Of course.

Fun.

On it!

Ha-ha!

Uh...

Where'd everybody go?

Where did this even come from?

Hey!

Oh, hey, sidekicks.
Glad you could join.

How did you even do this?

I thought you said
you were looking after the...

Oh, my goodness!
Is that a Ferris wheel?

Well, of course it is!

It came
with the carnival I ordered.

This cotton candy
makes me feel powerful!

Hey, uh,
where are all the teachers?

Detention.

They have a real
attitude problem.

Sure beats
having Krupp around!

Oh, yeah. Krupp would totally
lose his mind if he saw this.

Step right up!

Who'll be the first
to dunk the principal?

No!

I'm drowning!

Tra-la...

All right, that's enough.
Recess is over.

Ah, come on!

Just one more ride!
Whoa!

Hey, watch it!
What is this, a carnival?

I hate carnivals!

Oh, this looks fun!
How do we play?

Hold your fire!

What is happening?

Who wants ice cream?

Ice cream!

What are we gonna do?
We can't keep this up forever.

We have to! We'll just
take shifts watching him.

I'll take today.
You take tonight.

Sugar!

Sugar!

Harold, I really
want some sugar.

Me too.

We made the wrong choice!

This did not solve anything!

Hey, sidekicks!

Check this out!

Geronimo!

No!

This way!

Field trip, anyone?

No, no, no!

Nothing's more fun than fire!

Except being on...

Fire!

What is happening?

Tra-la-laaaa!

Now, this is
how you run a school!

Free the children!

Wait a minute.

What the...

How did this...

I don't understand.

Help!
What the...

You...

You two.

Your friendship...

is no more.

What?

George!

Harold!

Harold! Come back!

George, I'm right here!
I'm right here!

Oh, no! No, no!
Don't leave me!

I won't! I won't, George!

Harold!

No, no! Wait, wait! Stop!

George!

This thing is amazing,
Professor P.

You could probably solve

world hunger
with an invention like this.

Pass!
More importantly...

how do I look?

Just like you do
in this comic!

Good! Now,
hands off the merchandise,

and go fetch
your little toilet, okay?

I call it "The Turbo..."

Yeah, yeah. Couple of
gold stars for you, kiddo.

Let the Poopageddon begin!

Whoo-ee!

What?
Oh, you've gotta be joking me!

Poopypants has no gas!
You can't write this stuff.

Where would
a burgeoning villain

find unlimited power?

True power comes from within.

No, it doesn't, Melvin!

That's on stupid posters!

Okay.

It comes
from enormous energy sources!

A nuclear waste dump.

I see where you're going.

A poisonous chemical factory.

Or perhaps
a place even more toxic!

Whoo!
These leftovers got a kick.

Oh, it's a powerful smell.

Back in business, baby!

Memorize these elements...

Oxygen. Beryllium.

Boringillium.

Lameium.

Snoronium.

Excuse me, everybody,
there's a giant...

Do not interrupt
while I'm reading

monotone from my textbook!

But the toilet!

Ugh.

Just go.

Harold?

George?

Students and faculty

of Jerome Horwitz
Elementary...

the world, as you know it,
is about to go extinct.

And a new world order
is about to rise!

One that is,
you know, honestly

pretty similar
to the old world order...

except for one tiny detail...

Melvin?

Comin' atcha!

Powered by
Melvin's unique neurology...

I will successfully disable
the Hahaguffawchuckleamalus...

of every single child at
Jerome Horwitz Elementary.

For I, Professor Poopypants...

Yeah, it's a funny name.

It just makes you
laugh and laugh, right?

Get down!

Still give you
the chuckles now?

Poopypants!

I don't get it.

Why is that funny?

Perfect!

Finally!
You're speaking my language!

Oh, no. This is bad.

This is seriously bad.

I mean,
a world without laughter?

George, if he destroys
our sense of humor,

he destroys us!

Imagine how boring
our comics will be.

Captain Underpants
and the Purchase

of the Sensible Beige Pants.

Captain Underpants
Eats All of His Falafel.

Captain Underpants
Watches Cement Dry.

And would the creators of

this absolutely
hilarious comic book...

please come out, come out,
wherever you are!

You're next.

Okay, we have to stop him.

We've gotta find a way
to unplug Melvin.

Yeah.

But how do we get to him
without Poopypants seeing us?

What are you two
doing together?

Are you in there?

Oh...
Maybe you're hiding here.

Oh, sorry.
Are you stuck on hold?

Mmm-hmm.

Oh, totally hate
when that happens.

Well, good luck with that.

Now, where are
those two little...

Stand down, Poopypants!

What is happening?

I hope this works.

Tra-la-laaa!

Ow! Ow!

Keep standing down.
I'm just gonna be a second.

Ow.

I bet he thought
that was going to be cooler.

Oh, boy. Here goes nothing.

Ha-ha!

Prepare to be vanquished...

and justice to be served

on a piping hot
platter of freedom!

With a side order
of liberty...

and a super-sized cup
filled with freedom also!

Impressive use
of fast-food analogies,

you giant baby with a cape on!

Let's do this.

Freeze! The following sequence
contains scenes...

that are so intense,
horrific, and violent...

And expensive.

...that we can only show it
using a technology known as...

Flip-O-Rama!

Take it away, Harold.

Okay,
first Professor Poopypants

gave Captain Underpants
the boot.

Foot! Foot! Ow!

Then he made
an Underpants sandwich.

Punch, punch! Punch, punch!

And then, they played
a friendly game of paddleball!

Oh, no!

Darn.

Okay, what's next?
Oh, yes!

Then, Poopypants summoned
an army of dolphins...

Wait, what?
Why are you always

sneaking dolphins
into the movie?

What do you have
against dolphins anyway?

I don't have nothing
against dolphins,

- it just didn't happen!
- Well, so what?

We get to say what happened.
It's the Flip-O-Rama.

I like dolphins.
The dolphins are in.

Fine, all right.
Let's just keep going.

- You sure?
- Yep, positive.

Thank you.

- Anyway, Poopypants didn't realize it...
- Quiet five, quiet five.

...but George and Harold's plan
was working out perfectly.

So, they
shot themselves to the top

of the Turbo Toilet 2000!

To keep things dramatic,
they didn't quite make it.

And then...
And then...

And then...

What happened
to the Flip-O-Rama?

I ran outta paper.

Hey, Melvin!
Take that thing off your head.

We gotta stop Poopypants!

Professor Poopypants!

George and Harold
are trying to stop you!

You are just so annoying!

So, you two
little numbskulls thought

you could distract me...

with this idiotic, naked man.
Am I right?

I'm not naked!

Any final words before this
whole revenge thing goes down?

Yeah, wait, wait. Listen.

We apologize
for making fun of your name.

I mean, that was just wrong.

Yeah, we're sorry.
The truth is, Professor P...

you have probably, like,

the greatest name
we've ever heard.

I mean, George, imagine
if we had names like that.

Oh, that would be so cool!

Okay, wait, let's do it.
Let's try it.

Oh, I would be
Fluffy Toiletnose.

Yeah! I would be
Sir Cheeseball Wafflefanny.

Yeah, sure. You're a knight.

This is so good!

I wanna change mine.

I'd be
Buttcheeks von Stinkelsberg.

Stinkelsberg.

Yeah, those are all
really silly names,

but there's
nothing funny about...

Professor
Pee-Pee Diarrheastein

Poopypants Esquire!

Sir, are you saying
your full name is...

Pee-Pee Diarrheastein
Poopypants Esquire?

Uh-huh.

Stop it! Stop laughing!

Come on! Listen, your problem

isn't that people
laugh at you.

Your problem is that
you can't laugh at yourself.

Oh, really, Oprah?
Is that my problem?

Well, your problem is this...

No!

Oh, I hope
you enjoyed your years

of laughter and merriment...

because they're about
to come to an end.

Do you find anything funny
about me now?

You mean,
other than your name?

Yes! Other than that!

And your hair?

What?

My hair's cool, I thought.

Are you kidding me?

That's almost as funny as
my hair back in kindygarten!

Remember that afro?

No!
No, this can't be happening!

Computer, activate brain scan.

Let's see. The frontal lobes
look big and healthy.

The Hahaguffawchuckleamalus

looks all shrimpy,
so, what gives?

It can't be!

Their
Hahaguffawchuckleamaluses,

they're enormous!

I need more power.

Anything strike you
as funny now?

I'm sure
we can think of something!

George, I can't smile anymore.

No! Harold!

One down, und one to go.

Harold.

Harold. Harold,
can you hear me?

Harold!

George! George, is that you?

Right here, buddy.

What's happening?
We're shrinking!

Now, if we don't laugh
at something soon,

we may never laugh again.

Oh, no! What do we do?
What do we do? What do we do?

Well, we have to think
of something funny, okay?

Okay, yeah, sure.
Something funny.

Anything?

No, I got nothing.
Me neither.

More shrinkage!

Okay, okay.
What did we use to find funny?

Mostly potty humor. Poop,
vomit, that kind of thing.

Really? Ugh. That is, like,
the lowest form of comedy.

Don't you say that, Harold!
Don't you leave me!

Attention everyone!

Poopypants here with a little
update on the Poopageddon.

Due to the success
of my plan thus far...

I've decided
to wipe out laughter

on the entire planet.

After that, you know,
I'll probably

move on to other planets...

Jupiter, Mars...

can't forget Uranus!

Wait. Did he just say...

Your anus.

I know!

Uranus!

Yeah, and once I'm through
with the gas giants...

I figure I'll go
after the other galaxies...

What?

It feels so good to laugh!

No, stop it! Stop laughing!
You're ruining everything!

Yikes!
Extra credit or survival?

Extra credit or survival?

I choose survival!

Uh-oh!

Oh, yeah!

Wow!

No, how could this
be happening?

Never underestimate

the power of laughter,
Poopypants!

Oh, that's the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.

Oh!

Ah! Whoa!

Harold! Harold, we did it!

Harold?

I think I bruised a rib.

Because I've never laughed
so hard in my life!

Oh, we'll see who's laughing
once I shrink you down...

where you will live
in my pocket forever...

amongst my
cherry-flavored lip balm...

my butterscotch-flavored
lip balm...

Oh, neato!

...my mint-flavored
lip balm...

my extra-moisturized
SPF lip balm...

and all of my lip balms!

Why does one person have
so much lip balm?

Help!
Help!

Please, anyone! Help!

Help!

Ooh, I hope you can find
tiny enough pens...

to make your small,
little comic books with...

'cause you're about to
get smallified!

Tra-la-laa!

I feel...

awesome!

No way!

He has real superpowers!

Oh, that is an obvious twist
that I did not see coming...

despite my many years
of comic book studies!

I have come to save the day!

Yay!

Yeah, and I've come
to ruin it!

So back off, buddy!

Ha-ha!

Ew, that's gross!

Oh, there's more
where that came from.

Monday! Tuesday!
Wednesday! Thursday!

Ha-ha! Unlimited underpants!

I am so glad that we gave him
that superpower!

My Sizerator!

Well, it's mine now!

Alas!

The final failure
for Professor Poopypants.

Hmm. What does this button do?

Oh...

Well, hello down there!

No!

Must be holding it backwards.

Yup. That was it.

Wow. He is super dumb.

I can't reach.

Time to take you down
once and for all, Poopypants!

Buzz off!

Captain Underpants!

Fly over here
so we can make you big again!

Crackerjack idea.

George, just don't...

No!

Ha-ha!

Give him a big hand
for that one, everybody!

Get him.

Whoops.

Look what I've got.

A tiny school

filled with tiny children...

and their tiny teachers
whose tiny salaries...

reflect their size and also...

the value society puts
on education.

I'll take that!

Oh! Then I'll take that!

Ow! Did you just slap me?

Yes, I did.
And you deserved it.

No, I didn't! Your hand
is huge! That hurt a lot!

Give it back, it's mine!

No! Hands off!

No fair! No backsies!
Give it to me!

Would you just give me that?

Now look
what you've done!

Give it!

George!

Gotcha!

Yeah, that's more like it!

Nice work, sidekicks!

I'll just put this back down
right here.

No, no, no!
Captain Underpants...

There we go. Back to normal...

like it never happened.

Oh, no, where'd he go?

You'll never catch me!

You can't stop
Professor Poopypants!

Get back here!
I can't reach!

Get him, Captain Underpants!

A bee!
Get away from me!

I'm free!

What? What the...
Why would you do that?

You just let
the bad guy get away!

Come on, guys. Pretty sure
the bee wasn't the bad guy.

What the heck happened here?

You're welcome, peace keeper!

Would you keep it down?

Did not see that coming!
Take that, Doctor Diaper!

I can't believe we made him.

And he's even dumber
in real life.

Oh! Look! Little dolphins!

We have to get rid of him,
don't we?

I think we do.

I mean,
he's a way bigger problem

than Mr. Krupp ever was.

But, you know, George...

bringing back Krupp
permanently...

we'll never be
in the same class again.

Yeah, I know.

But just 'cause we're
in separate classes,

doesn't mean
we can't be friends...

Well, yeah. I mean, we'll
always be friends. Right?

Yeah. Hey, in fact,
you know what?

Let's do a blood oath.

But minus the blood. I don't
wanna see the blood. No blood.

Pinky swear?

No, that's lame. Mmm-mmm.

Oh, got it!

Oh, no. What? No!

That's not sanitary.

Can't we just do
a verbal declaration

of friendship or something?

Oh. Okay. Yeah, wow.

I haven't really
prepared anything, but...

I, Harold...

hereby declare George

as my best friend,
permanently, forever.

And I, George, accept
the permanent rights...

that Harold has given me

to be
his best friend forever...

and the constitution
of friends...

America, friendship.

And the United States
of America.

Land and the United States.
Good, okay, yeah.

It's done. All right, cool.
Phew.

What a relief.
Yeah, no kidding.

I mean,
why were we even worried...

about that whole classroom
thing in the first place?

You know, I don't know.

We were younger then.

Clearly, we have grown.

Clearly, we have.

Chums!

Thank you for chronicling

my surprisingly
grounded biography.

The truth is a slippery thing.

And you nailed it.

Now it is time to fly again!

Farewell, my dear sidekicks.

Goodbye, Captain Underpants.

Goodbye.

George! Harold!

What am I doing in your
tree house again?

You boys are in big trouble!

I don't know how big yet...

Why does this
keep happening?

Where are my clothes?
Where are they?

I don't get it.

Why is Krupp so angry

and Captain Underpants
so happy?

Maybe it's because
Captain Underpants had us.

You know, he had friends.

We could fix that.

Yeah, you know, we could.

So that's how we came

to pull the rarest prank
of all...

The prank...

for good.

Huh?

"Do you want to go a date?"

A date?

"Love, Edith."

"Principal Krupp."

Oh!

Benjamin Krupp, you sly dog.

Edith, the lunch lady.

Big plans tonight, Mr. Krupp?

No! What?
That's none of your business!

But, if you must know...

yeah, I actually do.

By the way,
I was tidying up my office...

and I believe
these belong to you...

Our comics?

Did you just pull that out
of the garbage can?

Well, I read them...

and considering
they're completely

implausible, juvenile...

and filled with
the lowest form of wit...

potty humor...

they're actually pretty funny.

See ya later!

Well, how about that...

That's a good one.

You know, it feels good to do
something nice for Mr. Krupp.

Yeah, you know what? It does.

Promise we'll never
do it again.

Promise.

Oh, my!

I've never been to

such a fancy restaurant
before.

Well, I had to go all out
for m'lady.

Okay, if you say so,
my man!

Once again,
that brings our story

to its happy conclusion.

I think there's some valuable
life lessons in there...

somewhere.

What the?

Eat 'em up, yum, yum!

You gotta be kidding me! No!

Yum, yum! Eat 'em up!

Oh, no!

Waiter! Check please!

Principal Krupp!

Oh, no!

Help!

Hang on, sidekicks!

I don't get it!

I really thought
breaking that ring

would get rid of his powers!

Yeah, well, here we go again!

Tra-la-laa!

Are you worried
about impending doom?

Those evil villains
got you filled with gloom

But don't you fear,
there's a hero in the sky

The sky, the sky

It's not a bird

And it's not a plane

And it's not
an egg salad sandwich

It's the waistband warrior

Hear his mighty battle cry!

Tra-la-laa!

Hey, watch out, crime!

It's wedgie-power time

Na, na, na, na, na

Captain Underpants
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Faster than
a speeding waistband!

He's bustin' down doors

While wearing
just his drawers

Na, na, na, na, na

Captain Underpants
Yeah, yeah, yeah

More powerful
than boxer shorts.

His name is

Under, Under, Underpants

I'm sayin'

Under, Under, Underpants

Oh, yeah,
by some unlikely chance

Captain Underpants
is his name

Tra-la-laa!

Snap your fingers
and he'll be right there

That freaky, bald dude
in his underwear

He'll drop those trousers and
he'll fight to save the day

The day, the day

Oh, there he goes
in his dashing cape

Here he comes
in his tighty-whities

All the bad guys
soil themselves

Every time they hear him say

Tra-la-laa!

Hey, who's that hunk?

Is that cotton pre-shrunk?

Na, na, na, na, na

Captain Underpants
Yeah, yeah, yeah

It's time to fly again!

Suspend your disbelief

He'll save the world
in his briefs

Na, na, na, na, na

Captain Underpants
Yeah, yeah, yeah

To the sky!

Under, Under, Underpants

I'm sayin'

Under, Under, Underpants

Check out
that superhero stance

Captain Underpants is his name

Stand down, Poopypants!

Oh...

Under, Under, Underpants

He's Captain

Under, Under, Underpants

Yeah, by some
crazy circumstance

Captain Underpants
is his name

Tra-tra-tra... Tra-la-laa!

Under, Under, Underpants

Under, Under, Underpants

Wait.

No way!

She's been on hold for,
like, the whole movie.

Come on, come on.

Hello.

Thank you for holding.
How can I help...

No!

Right from the start
couldn't pull us apart

It just works

Nobody else ever
gets me as well on this earth

Like Rock and Roll
My shows and tellies

Mac and cheese
PBs and jellies

Some things
are better together

And that's you and me

Dude, I love you
Bro, I love you

Man, I love you

You're my brother from another

Another mother

You are my favorite

I'm not ashamed to admit

'Cause I do
Dude, I do

Dude, I love you
Bro, I love you

Man, I love you

You're my homie

No one knows me
Like you know me

Like the sun and the moon

All the best things
come in twos

What would I do
without a friend like you?

What, what, what, what

What would I do?
What would I do?

Without a friend like you

What, what, what, what

What would I do?
What would I do?

Without a friend like you

Laugh till we cry when we're
passing the time away

Even our fights always end
with a smile on our face

Like black and white keys
On a Wurli

Sounds just right
and work in harmony

Some things
are better together

And that's you and me

Dude, I love you
Bro, I love you

Man, I love you

You're my brother from another

Another mother

You are my favorite

I'm not ashamed to admit

'Cause I do
Dude, I do

Dude, I love you
Bro, I love you

Man, I love you

You're my homie

No one knows me
like you know me

Like the sun and the moon

All the best things
Come in twos

What would I do
without a friend like you?

What, what, what, what

What would I do?
What would I do?

Without a friend like you

What, what, what, what

What would I do?
What would I do?

Without a friend like you

Without a friend like you

With... With...
Without a friend like you

What would I do?

Without a friend like you

With... With...
Without a friend like you

Dude, I love you
Bro, I love you

Man, I love you

You're my homie

No one knows me
Like you know me

You are my favorite

I'm not ashamed to admit

'Cause I do
Dude, I do

Dude, I love you
Bro, I love you

Man, I love you

Got my back
I got your back

Like chiropractors

Like the sun and the moon

All the best things
come in twos

What would I do
without a friend like you?

What, what, what, what

What would I do?
What would I do?

Without a friend like you

What, what, what, what

What would I do?
What would I do?

Without a friend like you

Give me a beat.

Saturday, Saturday...

I love Saturday

Where everything is possible

Nothing stands in our way

Don't have to be responsible

Everywhere we go

Nobody says, "No"

Yeah, finally we're free

We got nowhere we need to be

On Saturday, Saturday

The sun has shined
on us, hey, hey, hey, hey

I think it's time for a break

We'll get away
Get away, eh, eh, eh...

We can go
coloring the world together

We can make a story
that'll last forever

On Saturday,
Saturday, eh, eh, eh

Hey...

The perfect day

The perfect day

Saturday

There's one day every week

No alarm's gonna wake me up

Stay in bed and sleep

Or maybe watch TV too much

Lazing all day long

No one says it's wrong

No, finally we're free

We got nowhere we need to be

On Saturday, Saturday

The sun has shined
on us, hey, hey, hey, hey

I think it's time for a break

We'll get away
Get away, eh, eh, eh

We can go
coloring the world together

We can make a story
that'll last forever

On Saturday,
Saturday, eh, eh, eh

Hey...

The perfect day

On Saturday

Take your bag
and leave your house

Don't need no TV
to be entertained

We are the show

Come now and play it subtle
Bring back all that we know

Our songs the only thing
that's playing on the radio

On Saturday, Saturday

The sun has shined
on us, hey, hey, hey, hey

I think it's time for a break

We'll get away, get away

The perfect day

The perfect day

We got nowhere we need to be

On Saturday, Saturday