Cannery Row (1982) - full transcript

Monterey, California in the 1940's. Cannery Row - the section of town where the now closed fish canneries are located - is inhabited primarily by the down and out, although many would not move away even if they could. Probably the most upstanding citizen in the area is Doc, a marine biologist who earns a living primarily by collecting and selling marine specimens for research. He is a lost soul who is looking for his place in life. He is running away from his past, one where he is trying to make amends for what he considers a past wrong. But his current life isn't totally satisfying either. He believes that his recent collection of eight baby octopi will help him define that future in conducting research on their behavior. However, he is finding that research is not as easy as he had hoped, and that he is still feeling restless. Into the area comes drifter Suzy DeSoto. She too is a lost soul. With few job skills, she gets a job as what she calls a floozy in the local whorehouse, despite her openly headstrong demeanor not making her well suited to the work. Doc and Suzy are immediately attracted to each other, but theirs is a clash of personalities, despite each truly liking the other. The other residents of Cannery Row do their part for a Doc/Suzy coupling, not always with successful results. Doc and Suzy will first have to find their own lot in life before they can commit to someone else, be it the other or anyone else.

Cannery row has

never been like anywhere else.

For one thing,

its people are different.

When the town died off

most of them failed to notice.

Some say nobody would live here

if they didn't have to.

But there are some,

like the seer,

who wouldn't live anywhere else

even if they could.

Of all the people on cannery row,

doc is probably the best known.

He makes as good a living

as he needs

by collecting marine animals

and selling them

to colleges and museums.

Over the years, doc became

a pillar of the community

and its fountain

of science and philosophy.

He had friends

he didn't even know about.

And some he would never forget.

Friends like mack and the boys.

Mack is the elder and leader

of a small group of men

who have in common

no families,

no money, and no ambition

beyond the time to discuss

matters of interest

but little importance.

The youngest, and by far

the strongest of the group

is Hazel.

A childhood illness

was said to have left him

with slightly diminished

mental capacity.

As a result,

he had the mind of a small boy

grafted to the body of a bull.

Oh, come on, Hazel.

Don't be such a big scaredy-cat.

Get in there.

Hey, mack?

Oh, what is it, Hazel?

Uh, mack, last night, uh,

you said you was gonna lead us

in some exercise.

And you said we was

getting all out of shape

by living this high on the hog.

- I said that?

- Yeah, that's right.

- That's right, mack.

- Yeah. Yeah.

Jesus,

I must've been drunk as hell.

Uh, well, come on, mack,

uh-huh, we waiting on you.

Here we go.

Come on, mack.

I'm ready.

Okay, mack.

Hey. Let's go.

All right, you ready?

- Yeah.

- Let's get going.

Touch your toes!

Swing your hips!

Jumping Jacks!

- Good.

- Damn.

Hey, mack?

Look, I gotta go to la jolla

for a couple a days.

Feed the mice for me, will you?

There's cold beer

in the refrigerator if you want some.

Oh, don't worry about the mice, doc.

Me and the boys

will take care of it.

- Okay.

- Have a nice trip, doc.

Doc's a hell of a guy, you know.

Give you anything he's got.

A hell of a guy.

We ought to do something nice

for him sometime.

Yet despite the esteem

in which he was held,

doc was not fully content.

Lately, he'd been afflicted

with a gnawing restlessness.

A sense of something unfulfilled.

And so he planned

a collecting trip hoping,

the way a man will,

to smother his unease with activity.

At first, he turned up very little.

But by the third day

his luck began to change.

Under the boulders

of the intertidal zone,

he found eight baby octopi.

It was a little bonanza for him,

if he could keep them alive.

The next few days

he dedicated himself

to building an octopus world

within walls of glass,

trying to anticipate

every octopus need

and eliminate

every octopus danger.

Uh, doc...

I got something important

to talk to you about.

How much do you need, mack?

Two bucks.

Here.

Take it out of that, mack.

Just like that?

Well, what about my story?

What story?

Well, I had this story about

why I needed two bucks

but you didn't give me

a chance to do it.

You don't need a story, mack.

Well, the hell I don't!

I mean, you know,

I worked all night on the damn thing.

You know,

Hazel cried when I tried it on him.

You see,

I got this aunt in salinas.

She lost both husbands

in the flood and...

I didn't know you had an aunt

in salinas, mack.

I don't have an aunt in salinas,

for Christ sakes.

That's the goddamn story.

Look, doc,

wh-wh-what is the matter with you?

I got a problem, mack.

How in the hell

am I going to light 'em?

Light what?

The octopi.

The octopi are afraid of light.

Now how in the hell am I gonna

get enough light in there

without driving 'em under cover?

Why don't you just give up?

Oh, mack, wait a minute,

octopi are fascinating creatures.

You see,

they have emotional states

that are roughly like our own.

They'll show fear, anger, excitement,

all by color changes in their bodies.

I'l be damned.

Unfortunately, I'm gonna need

a wide-angle binocular scope.

- A what?

- Binocular scope.

"Binocular scope.”

Even if I do get the light right,

how am I gonna...

Doc, doc, doc. Look at me, doc.

I-I-it's me, mack, your friend.

Now, what's been wrong with you

past couple of days?

This is the fifth time

you've redone this tank.

Oh, I'm all right, mack.

Really.

I just need to do something

different for a change.

Something of value, maybe.

= what the hell for?

You ain't done nothing up to now.

Nobody's complaining.

Well, that's just the point, mack.

A man oughta make a Mark even if

it's a scribble, shouldn't he?

Hell, every year, you know,

ll go up to

the congress of marine biologists

in San Francisco.

Every year, I've got to listen

to a bunch of goddamn guys

reciting papers on all

the dandy stuff they know.

Well, hell, this year

they're gonna sit through

a paper of my own for a change.

I know these animals

as well as anybody.

I ought to be able to find out

something about them

that's worth knowing.

I think I'll call my paper...

"Symptoms...

In some cephalopoda...

Approximating apoplexy.”

Afternoon, angel.

What can I get you?

Oh, nothing, I was wondering,

do you know

of any work around here?

Not offhand. Hasn't been much

since the canneries were closed.

They're not any of them running?

I mean,

this is cannery row, isn't it?

Yeah, and we still got

plenty of cans to prove it.

All we don't got

is any sardines to put in 'em.

They all disappeared

a couple years ago.

Well, what happened to 'em?

A lot of people like to know that.

Personally, I think

they just fished 'em all out.

You know, I ain't the expert.

Now nothing much happens

until mack and the boys

from fort ord come over.

Do you think I can leave

this suitcase here

for a while while I look around?

Sure. I'll put it

back of the counter.

Thanks.

Oh, what if you're off shift

by the time I get back?

Honey, I ain't never off shift.

Thanks.

- Bye!

- Bye!

Would you like some salami

with that?

I'm sorry, I-l didn't know

this was your bag.

Oh, it's all right.

You're welcome to anything in it.

You've had a rotten day.

What makes you say that?

I can't help it. I'm a seer.

It's my business

to know these things.

I live alone.

I listen to the sound

of the waves at night.

I follow the moon

through the pines

and in the depth of my solitude,

I see visions.

Anyone would.

Is there anything

I can help you with?

I guess you just expect me

to believe all this?

Oh, I don't expect anything.

I don't need anything.

My friends above provide me

with food and lodging.

After you've had something to eat,

come on in for a swim.

It'll make you feel better.

No, thanks, I-I've gotta be going.

Besides, I don't even know

how to swim.

I don't either.

I just go in up to my chest.

- So long.

- So long.

Hi, I'd like to speak

with the manager, please.

Sure. Come on in.

The oyster fork goes on the left

next to the salad fork.

- This way.

- Like hell!

Fauna says it goes on the right,

between the cheese knife

and the soup spoon.

It's the only fork that goes on the right.

If you knew about anything,

dearie...

You would know that a table

is set with the fork

always on the left,

never on the right.

I'm telling you that

this fork goes on the right.

And I know something

about anything.

So there!

Ah, excuse me, fauna.

There's a girl here to see you.

She say what she wants?

No, she just wants to see the manager.

Okay, gili.

I don't have much time,

but send her in.

Okay, go on in.

Name's Suzy desoto.

Sit down, Suzy,

I'll be with you in a minute.

I'd like a job as a waitress

if you got one.

A waitress?

This is the bear flag restaurant,

isn't it?

Yeah, but we don't serve

too many sandwiches in here.

I kind of figured that.

Sorry, we couldn't help you,

Ms. desoto.

No, wait a minute.

Yeah?

I'd still like a job.

As what?

As, you know a...

A floozy.

Well, first off,

we don't call ourselves

floozies in here.

And second, you ever done

this kinda thing before?

What do you gotta do besides lie down?

You gotta pretend that you like it.

Don't you have a hard luck story

that'd kind of sway me?

No. = you broke?

- Yeah.

- Where are you from?

Lots of places.

You don't give out

much information, do you?

Well, what the hell is this?

I ain't applying for a government job.

Look, I've got to know

certain things

about the people I take on.

I've got all quality girls here.

You see them pictures over there

on the mantelpiece?

Every single one of them,

young ladies from "the flag"

that married and married well.

Hell, half of them

couldn't count to three

when they come in here,

but they had potential.

Look at this one here.

That's Wisteria.

Convicted of shoplifting four times.

But I worked on her,

taught her all the finer things

and now she is married

to the president

of the salinas forward and upward club.

Carried the tree on arbor day.

So, you wanna work for me

you tell me what I need to know.

Now, let's try it again.

Where are you from?

Indiana, when I was little.

Your folks still there?

I don't know.

I went away to work

when I was about 10.

I've been making my way

out to the coast ever since, I guess.

Doing what?

The usual.

After being a runner-up

in the miss America pageant

I went directly

into professional ice-skating.

You don't say!

That's correct.

Well, judging by the stains

on your hands, young lady,

looks like you've been doing

a little fruit picking

in between performances.

I've had a lot of lousy jobs.

I even tried taxi dancing once.

But just couldn't take all the creeps.

Well, we don't get a lot of eagle scouts

in here, either.

If you're gonna worry

so much about your dignity,

you better find yourself another line.

Look, Ms. flood,

I need this job.

So I get pushed around

a little bit here and there.

Just as long as I'm not

being made to feel small.

Okay.

Winnie's going back east next week.

You can take her spot

until she gets back.

- Thank you, Ms. flood.

- I can't guarantee much...

After that.

Jc penny's is open till six.

Buy yourself a dress,

fancy but cheap.

- Thanks.

- Supper's at half past six.

Beef stew tonight,

creamed carrots.

Cherry jell-o for dessert.

And dormitory's on the third floor.

You're not going

to regret this, Ms. flood.

Oh, sure.

By the way,

what do we call ourselves?

"Girls" is good enough.

Doc plunged into his octopus studies

with all the professional dedication

he could muster.

He prodded them, injected

various chemicals into their water

and generally

did everything he could

to get the little buggers

fo react.

Unfortunately, the conclusions to be drawn

from all this were slow in coming.

Doc decided

a change of pace might help.

Because it was Wednesday night,

he knew where Ellen sedgewick

would be.

Ultimately,

even Ellen failed to inspire him.

But doc knew he was

on to something.

Even if he couldn't figure out

what it was.

- Hi, Joseph and Mary.

- Hi, fauna.

Let's see now,

I need some yellow pads,

a box of pencils,

number two lead,

and a bottle of BlackBerry Brandy.

You still doing

that astrology thing?

Oh, hell, yeah.

Hazel wants me to do a chart on him.

Ever since the stars said that

Jones was gonna marry Lana Turner,

everybody on the row

wants their chart done.

I have to go to the other counter

for your Brandy.

Yeah. Take your time.

So, he's the one.

= the one what?

The one who leaves

the bags of stuff for the seer.

Oh, hell, yeah.

Doc's been doing that

10, 15 years now.

Him and the boys even built him

a little house out there

in the dunes.

And the guy still thinks

it all comes from heaven?

Man, he ain't all with it up here.

You know what I mean?

Hell of a town you got here.

Yeah, it is nice, ain't it?

All set, fauna.

Hi, doc.

Morning, fauna.

Hey, jm, how about a couple

of cold ones, back on the ice?

- You got it, doc.

- All right.

Oh, hey, doc,

you know Suzy here?

Mm.

Come here.

- How do you do?

- Well, how do you do?

Suzy's just starting

at the bear flag.

Oh, really?

I, uh, in here to buy beer.

Budweiser. = oh.

I... l knew this guy once

who was always talking about,

uh, he was gonna order

a beer milkshake at a drive-in.

Uh-huh.

Huh...

He never...

He never did.

Oh.

He was chicken. Hm.

- Got your beer, doc.

- Yeah, yeah.

Suzy?

Nice to have met you.

- So long, doc.

- Bye, fauna.

Nice to have met you.

Come in.

How do you do?

Oh, hello.

- What's that you got?

- Some macaroons.

The cook at

the bear flag made them.

How come? = fauna told him to.

She sent you some beer, too.

Oh. That's nice of fauna.

I wonder what she wants.

Nothing, I think she was...

Jeez, what have you

got them for?

I take their venom and I sell it.

I wouldn't want to live with

a bunch of filthy snakes.

Oh, wait a minute,

snakes are cleaner than people.

They even shed their skin.

Why would you call 'em filthy?

You wanna know why? = yeah.

- 'Cause you ran fauna down.

- Oh, no, wait a minute.

I didn't not run fauna down.

You said she was doing it

to get something out of you.

And she just done it to be nice.

Oh, I see.

That's why you call snakes filthy.

Mm-hmm.

Listen, fauna is one of my best friends.

So, why don't we just have a beer

and make peace, okay?

Okay.

Sit down.

I guess it's okay.

Here.

So, what are you doing with

all these little dishes here?

Well, I'm making a series of slides

to show the development

of sea urchin embryos.

Here.

Take a look.

You see, I have to fix one of

these cultures every half hour

and then monitor it on

a slide until I have a series

and you show students

how sea urchins go from an egg

to a complete organism.

Why do they wanna know that for?

Well, because that's the way

people develop.

Anyway, I have to do another

culture in two minutes.

Why don't they just study people?

It'd be a little difficult

to kill unborn babies

every half hour, wouldn't it?

Hell, I don't know about all this stuff.

It's a pretty funny business,

unborn things and all that.

There are funnier businesses.

Well, I guess you'd be talking

about my business now.

You don't like my business,

do you?

It doesn't matter whether

I like your business or not, does it?

I mean, it's there, isn't it?

I just think it's kind of

a sad substitute for love.

Oh. And what do you got, mister?

Bugs, snakes?

Look at this dump! It stinks.

You ain't even got

a decent suit of clothes.

I bet you can't remember when

was your last hot meal was.

You sit here breeding starfish

for Christ's sake.

Sea urchins!

What the hell do you think

that's a substitute for, huh?

Wait a minute. I do what I want.

I live the way I want,

and I'm free.

Now, do you get that?

I'm free and I do what I want.

Well, who'd wanna do

this stuff anyway?

Well, who'd want to go

to bed with anybody

that's got three bucks?

Maybe somebody who needs

the three bucks, Mr. tight ass.

And it seems to me,

I heard something about you writing

some great big, goddamn,

highfalutin paper.

Who told you that?

Everybody knows it, doc.

You wanna know why?

Because they know

you're just fooling yourself.

You ain't never gonna write no paper.

And some of 'em

are even laughing at you.

Who's laughing at me?

I shouldn't have said that.

I wish to Christ I hadn't said that.

Doc, I'm just gonna leave before

I stick my foot in it any more.

Wait a minute.

Who's laughing at me?

I don't even know

what I'm talking about.

I just... running off at the mouth,

doc. Please, forget about it.

Fauna's gonna kill me,

she'll wring my neck.

Will you forget about it, doc?

Hi, I'm Suzy desoto.

How you doing, desoto?

How come you're not

talking your clothes off?

I thought maybe you'd wanna do it

as sort of a lead-in.

What for?

I don't need no encouragement.

Lead-ins are for guys

who can't cut the mustard.

As long as I got this on,

what do you think of it?

- What?

- How do I look?

I don't know,

you're still dressed.

Well, that's what I mean,

the dress.

Took me an hour and a half

to pick it out.

Gonna take you longer than that

to take it off.

I wanna know what you think.

I don't have no opinion.

- Well, make one up.

- Oh, what the hell for?

'Cause I paid 12.99 for

this goddamn dress, that's what for.

Thirteen bucks to look nice

for guys like you.

Now I ain't taking it off

till you tell me how you like it.

Fits all right, I mean.

I-I like it okay.

Thank you.

Jesus Christ.

I've got to get out of here.

Suzy?

Hey, what are you doing up?

Thinking.

About what?

Doc.

Yeah? What about him?

I just don't understand

what a man like him is doing here.

Maybe he likes it.

Oh, I know that, fauna.

But he don't need it.

I mean, he could make

a good living anywhere.

Does he ever talk about himself?

You know, like where he comes from

and stuff like that.

Well, sometimes he mentions

little things here and there.

I know he played

some baseball once.

Baseball?

You mean, like major league?

Yeah, I guess so.

What's his real name?

Daniels. Ed Daniels.

The blur?

Eddie "the blur” Daniels?

The what?

He used to pitch for

the Philadelphia athletics.

Jeez, I remember him.

They called him "the blur”

because his...

His pitches were so fast

that no one could see 'em.

How come you know

so much about baseball, huh?

Oh, I used to listen

to baseball all the time.

Jeez, you know...

Doc was a hell of a pitcher

for a while.

You know,

one year he won 20 games.

Two years. '25 and "26.

Ha! You been holding out on me.

Look, kid, I'm beat!

I got to hit the sack.

Yeah, but is that all of it?

Aren't you gonna tell me the rest?

What... what rest?

He played ball, now he don't.

Yeah, but I mean,

why did he stop?

One day he's pitching,

and the next day he's gone.

He don't volunteer

too much about it.

And nobody asks him?

Look, kid, I got as much interest

as the next guy

in a person's past,

but see, on the row,

folks don't have very good ones,

so we don't dwell on it.

All right?

No, no, it's not all right,

you know why?

Because everybody

looks up to him.

And... and... and no one knows

anything about him.

Honey, one of the reasons

people live on the row

is they don't want

to be well-known.

Okay?

- So, he's just hiding out.

- He ain't hiding out.

He just ain't putting hisself

forward for comment, that's all.

Well, fauna, if we put him

forward for comment...

Goodnight, Suzy.

We could ask him and..

And he's... =and he's...

He's Eddie "the blur.”

Doc's Eddie "the blur."

After an hour or so,

doc was tired of driving.

Something more was needed

fo combat his restlessness.

An element of danger, maybe.

Because he could find no one

to get in a fight with,

he did the next best thing.

What'll it be?

A beer milkshake.

- A beer milkshake?

- That's right.

Use vanilla ice cream

and a half a bottle of beer.

Did I make it right?

You make a good one,

you really do.

Thanks.

Tell me, doc, what did you think

of the kid yesterday?

Suzy? =- mm-hmm.

She really threw the book at me.

Somehow, I don't see her

working in the bear flag.

Would it do you any harm

to make a play for Suzy,

the way you do with them

other dames you take out?

See, doc, the way I figure it is

if you wish to make a pitch

for her like she was a real lady,

she might start believing it herself.

Well, what good's that gonna do?

Might get her the hell out

of the bear flag.

Might be she wouldn't

want to congregate

with no more floozies.

Might take up typewriting

or telephone operating.

I could stop losing money on her.

And what about me, fauna?

What the hell

am I gonna do with her?

Hell, doc.

You don't marry

them other dames, do you?

Now, see, once she gets

her confidence up,

she'll just take a quick powder.

I don't know, fauna,

seems a little far-fetched.

You don't have to make no pass.

Just be nice to her.

I'll have to think about it.

But doc was tired of thinking.

He decided instead to visit the seer.

Something he'd done regularly for years.

Some people say I'm crazy.

It belonged to my mother's mule.

Told me as long as I wear this hat,

nothing bad would ever happen to me.

Well, must be nice

to have a guardian mule.

Say, what do you think of octopi?

Moody. Very moody.

Doesn't take much to upset 'em.

I wish you could ask 'em why sometime.

You seem to have the gift of gab

on animals.

I did ask them once,

they wouldn't tell me.

Very tight-lipped.

You seem a little confused today.

What's aching you,

or don't you want to talk about it?

Well, I'd just soon talk

about it if I knew what it was.

I do the same things I've always done.

I just seem to think

about 'em more.

I seem compelled to take

everything I've seen and learned

and refine it until

it adds up to something.

I don't know.

Maybe you're not ready.

Maybe you need some help.

What kind?

Well, there are some things

a man can't do alone.

I wouldn't think of trying

anything so big without...

Without what?

Without someone

who's pretty handy

with a sponge in my corner.

And what does that mean?

Oh. I'm sorry.

Forget I asked

that question, all right?

Just forget I asked that.

It's time I go watch

the sunset now.

I wouldn't be much of a seer

if I didn't do that.

Yeah.

I've even come to think that

it wouldn't go down without me.

J above j

J everywhere j

j love is all around me j

j da-da-da j

- Doc?

- Yeah.

Uh, look, I wanted to tell you

about the other night.

I really...

I wanted to apologize.

And I didn't have the time,

I didn't mean most of that stuff.

No, there's no need to apologize

because you were right

about some things.

No, but I was just doing that

to get back at you

'cause I thought you were running me down

for being a floozy.

I mean, what difference does it

make where the truth comes from

as long as it's the truth, huh?

Meaning what?

That I am a floozy?

- No, I didn't mean that!

- What, then?

I didn't mean...

J keep on dreaming j

what the hell is that you got on?

It's costume night.

Fauna made me little Bo peep.

I guess some guys think

it's racy or something.

Little Bo peep?

Well, it...

Doc, it was this or a nun,

and I ain't gonna be no nun.

I don't believe in it.

Somehow these fine

moral distinctions escape me.

You're the one

making the distinctions.

I'm just trying to make a living.

Yeah, and it doesn't matter

what kind of living you make.

Don't start lecturing me, doc.

What has your goddamn

distinctions gotten you?

You got a wife? No.

- You got a girl? No.

- I got all the women I need.

Oh, like that dame

with the fur coat at your place

the other night,

how'd she like your bugs?

- Hey, she liked my bugs fine.

- Oh, peachy.

Then how come you can't

you admit to anyone

that you used to be

a baseball player?

How does that fit in...

Who told you that?

I heard you pitch once.

= you heard me?

On the radio,

at this diner I used to work.

And I remember it

because one of my favorites,

Louis delano, got a triple off of you.

That's because beringer, my right fielder,

was drunk and fell down.

- It should have been a routine out.

- Oh, the crack of that bat was so loud!

I know a solid hit when I hear one.

And if that woman loved

your bugs so much,

how come she left early?

Because she had an appointment.

At 11 o'clock at night, doc?

She's got a busy schedule.

Hell, I'd have been embarrassed

to run out a hit like that.

Oh, it did bounce off the wall, doc!

Yeah, after beringer got up

and kicked it!

Delano couldn't hit the wall

if we were playing in here!

If she was having such

a wonderful time

how come she couldn't rearrange

her busy schedule?

Because she's a woman

of principle, delano...

She sounds like a woman

taking a powder to me, doc.

I told you,

she had somebody to meet.

- Who?

- Her husband!

Her husband?

Ain't no homewrecker!

- That's disgusting!

- Oh, yeah?

I'm sure fauna calls

the hall of records to make sure

that every guy

that comes in here is single!

Jesus! Louis delano.

How could you get a man

like that to be your hero?

I don't know, doc.

Look, every time I talk to you,

I get more confused.

I like you just fine

when you're not around.

Hmm.

I'll turn this stuff off.

You probably hate it.

Wait. I like Bob Crosby.

How'd you know

this was Bob Crosby?

You think I don't know

Bob Crosby when I hear him?

I happen to know every player

in his whole goddamn band.

Who cares

who all those bozos are?

His music's for dancing,

it ain't for memorizing.

Oh, so now you don't think

I know how to dance!

By

All right, I'll tell you what.

Put a fast song on and turn it up.

= huh?

I said, put a fast song on

and turn it up.

Let's see what you got,

hot stuff.

Slow down, doc,

you're wearing me out.

What's the matter,

don't you know shorty George?

Oh, shorty George.

Sorry, I didn't recognize it.

You know side cars?

= [it'll come to me.

- How about a little pecking?

- Hey, no sweat.

Oh. = oh!

Hey, little Suzy q, huh?

Can't you get any higher?

- How about around the block?

- Meet you at the corner.

Yeah?

So long. Going to Kansas City.

Like hell.

What the hell was that?

I call it an "over the rainbow."

I knew you wouldn't

be able to do it.

Why didn't you tell me you were

gonna do over the rainbow?

Wouldn't have made no

difference, doc.

- Scared to try that again?

- Shaking in my boots.

And try it again they did.

Doc! = oh.

It never occurred to them

that maybe they weren't any good.

= oh!

You bridged too early.

Otherwise we would have had it.

So, they decided

to give it one more try.

Whoa...

Thanks.

You're not too bad.

You wanna have dinner

Saturday night?

Sure. Sounds all right.

I'll see you then.

Mm-hmm.

- Oh.

- Oh, no.

Hi.

Oh.

Okay, now watch this shot.

The events of the previous night

were a hot topic of conversation

at the local country club.

Mack decided the time was right

to throw their friend,

doc, a party.

I figure it'd take 10

or 12 bucks to give doc

a party

he wouldn't be ashamed of.

Tough line there, jonesie.

Because they didn't have

the 10 or 12 bucks,

mack sent Hazel

over to see if doc

needed any animals collected.

Once, doc had given

the boys a quarter

for every live turtle

they found.

Um, by the way, doc,

uh, you need any turtles?

Not right now, Hazel.

I don't have any orders.

Oh...

What's mack need money for?

Uh, please don't make me

answer no questions.

You never could lie,

could you, Hazel?

I do have an order

for several hundred frogs.

You and the boys

wanna give it a try?

I'll give you five cents a frog.

Uh, don't you worry

about nothing, doc.

We gonna get you

all the frogs that you want.

I know this place

up the carmel river

and that's got tons of frogs.

Yeah, well, how you gonna get there?

Oh, why, we was gonna use

Joseph and Mary's truck

to get the turtles.

Uh, mack figured he wouldn't mind.

Old mack's got an angle.

Yeah, I'm sure he does.

I think I got it, mack.

- Okay, let's go.

- Come on, come on, come on.

As it turned out, mack was right.

Joseph and Mary not only didn't mind

that the boys used the truck,

he didn't even know.

The great frog expedition

was definitely in business.

During the millennia

that men have hunted frogs

a pattern of hunt and parry

has developed.

The man, with net poised,

creeps noiselessly,

so he thinks, towards the frog,

who sits very still and waits.

The rules of the game require

the frog to bide his time

until the final

flicker of a second

when the net is descending,

and then jump into the water,

swim to the bottom,

and wait for things

fo blow over.

This is the way it's done,

the way it's always been done.

Frogs don't resent this.

But how could they have

anticipated mack's new method?

How could they have foreseen

the horror that followed?

Geronimo!

Look out, frogs,

here comes Jones!

Come on, frogs!

It's working.

Never in frog history

had such a round-up taken place.

Get along little doggies!

Get along little doggies!

Hyah, hyah, hyah!

A few frogs

floundered around the bottom

and got through to safety.

But the majority decided

to leave this pond forever

to find a new home

where this kind of thing

didn't happen.

And that was their undoing.

Ah!

Hit it, Eddie!

Come on, fellas, do it!

The frogs were never counted

but there must have been

close to 1,000.

Their impact would soon

be felt on cannery row.

I never seen you

in a jacket before, doc.

You look real sharp, though.

You're gonna be a killer in that.

Aw, it's too much.

She's probably gonna show up in

one of those little day outfits

and make me look like a fool.

Besides, I don't want her

to get the wrong idea,

like I'm trying

to impress her or something.

She's a hooker.

What do I wanna impress her for?

Suzy girl, if I was your age,

with your face and shape

and what I know,

wouldn't be no man safe.

I got the know-how,

but that's all I got.

I'm scared, fauna.

I ain't got the class of a duck.

I mean, what are we gonna

talk about anyway?

I don't know nothing

compared to him.

You got just as much

to talk about as anybody.

Ain't nothing gonna go wrong

so long as you don't make like

you know something you don't.

Act like a expert all the time and

sooner or later,

you fall on your ass.

And if he wants to do

something nice for you,

for god's sake, let him,

will you?

Ain't no disgrace for somebody

to do you a favor.

Okay, girls, that's enough.

Come on, scram.

Still too much.

What am I putting myself

through this for?

I oughta wear

what I normally wear.

So, she thinks I'm underdressed.

Who cares what she thinks?

Don't look at me, doc.

I'm just sitting here.

Hi, doc. I'm all set.

Excuse me.

I gotta go

and make a phone call.

I'll be right back.

All right.

- Hey.

- Sonny.

Good to see you, doc.

Your table's ready.

Right this way, please.

Your secretary called.

It's all fixed.

You got a secretary now, doc?

Just part-time.

Well, it's good

that you telephoned, doc.

Mm-hm.

Did have a little trouble

finding the pompano,

but I got it.

I'll have your drinks

sent over in a minute.

Well, you two,

enjoy your dinner.

Thank you, Sonny.

This is really something, doc.

Ah, hell, it's nothing, really.

Thank you.

I'm glad you came

with me tonight.

Here's to both of us.

Suzy soon discovered

something for herself.

When in doubt, move slowly.

Slowness.

It made everything regal.

The crab required

an eating technique

she didn't know.

She did everything

a little behind doc

and he wasn't aware that

she watched every move he made.

Do you like champagne?

I love it.

Oh, I mean,

I will as soon as I taste it.

You know,

out in the sand dunes...

There are little gullies

covered with pines.

When you can... let's take some meat and

things and make a fire, cook dinner.

This fire make you think of it?

That's right.

Look, doc...

I hope you don't mind me

asking you this.

But why did you get out

of baseball so young?

I had a couple of bad years

so I decided it was time to quit.

Doc, when you quit,

you were 21 and 10

with three weeks left in the season.

I looked it up in the almanac.

I don't mean to be prying.

I just figure

if we're gonna be friends then...

I threw a bad pitch.

- One bad pitch?

- It hit a guy.

Every pitcher hits a guy

now and then.

It hit him in the head.

At first, I thought I'd killed him.

He was in a coma for two weeks.

He came out of it.

But he was never the same after that.

You know, I yelled at him

but I don't think

he ever saw the ball coming.

Yeah, but you didn't

mean to hit him.

I mean,

it was an accident, right?

I mean, you shouldn't've

had to quit 'cause of that.

Oh, my heart

wasn't in it anymore.

So, I decided to get out

rather than pitch lousy.

But that still don't mean

you gotta bury Eddie Daniels.

It's like he's wanted

by the FBI or something.

I'm not burying Eddie Daniels,

for Christ's sake.

I just don't wanna be around

people who feel sorry for me

because they're sure

I could have been great.

And now they think I play

with seashells for a living.

Oh, I'm sorry

I brought all this up.

I mean, we were having

a good time and all that.

And I had to go and...

= no, no, no. No.

It's all right.

I meant it when I said I was glad

you came with me tonight.

Yeah?

I was planning on a much

worse time than this...

But you really screwed it up.

You know that place you said,

out in the sand dunes?

Yes?

Could we see it sometime?

Whenever you want.

On the way back?

You'll ruin your shoes.

I know.

You could take 'em off.

I will.

Oh, my god.

What have I got myself into?

The boys returned

secure in the knowledge

that they had enough frogs

to bankroll a party

of shocking proportions.

What they needed now

was a way to convert them all

to hard cash.

Joseph and Mary,

you know that doc

set the price on frogs

at 20 for a buck.

Doc's gone away,

and me and the boys is a little hungry.

Plus, we could use some steaks

and stuff for doc's party.

So, what we thought is this.

We don't want you to suffer none

so, we'll make over to you

twenty-five frogs for a buck.

You got a five frog profit there,

and nobody loses his shirt.

To his own dismay

Joseph and Mary

couldn't really find

anything wrong

with this proposition.

Okay.

You got a deal.

But I don't want no dead fogs.

Do you hear that?

After that, business was brisk.

Joseph and Mary knew he had

a stranglehold on the consumer.

He was pretty sure the thrift mart

wouldn't approve

of this new monetary system.

If the boys wanted food

on the frog standard,

they had to pay

Joseph and Mary's price.

Some bitterness began to arise

as time wore on

and prices went up.

Canned peaches were sky-high

at eight frogs a can.

Steaks shouldn't have been

more than 10 frogs a pound.

One frog, right?

Two.

Joseph and Mary,

I only got one frog.

Two.

Play ball.

All right, mack!

All right, mack.

Get ahold of one.

Big windmill, big windmill.

- Come on, mack. Play hard.

- Take no bad ones, mack.

Hit one to me.

Come on, mack,

keep your eye on it.

Strike one.

What are you

waiting for, mack? A bus?

I'm waiting... right here.

Come on, mack.

Show them where you live, mack.

She's got a candy arm.

Candy arm.

Hit the damn ball, will you?

- Strike two.

- Hey, mack!

You're swatting high.

We got him now. = relax.

- Take it easy, honey.

- Make her pitch to you, mack.

- Come on, mack.

- One more, Colleen.

Let's go, baby.

Come on, mack,

we're going to sleep out here.

Come on, mack. You're more

of a man than she'll ever be.

Round-tripper. Round-tripper.

I don't think

you're gonna hit her like that.

What the hell

do you know about it?

You ever played baseball?

Not that I know of.

But it seems to me

you're going about it all wrong.

We'll see.

All right, mack,

you can do it, all right.

- Show them where you live.

- Okay, mack.

Big base knock.

Big base knock, mack. Okay.

- Oh!

- Strike three.

Adios, amigo.

I told you so.

Maybe you'd like to try

hitting off her?

Well...

If you won't believe me otherwise

guess I'll have to.

How should I pitch to him?

Pitch slow.

- Real slow.

- Okay.

How come you're pitching so slow?

I was only trying to make it

easy on you.

How's he gonna know if my advice

is any good if you make it easy?

All right, you asked for it.

You know, I think bringing

the hands up is the key.

In the days since its conception,

mack's party idea had

caught on all over the row.

A meeting was called at the bear flag

to finalize plans.

Everyone agreed it should be

a surprise party at doc's house.

And it should have a theme

to lend it some class.

The boys chose snow white

and the seven dwarfs

because they had seen

the movie recently

and the costumes

were fresh in mind.

And because they couldn't think

of anything else.

The meeting would have adjourned

without further ado,

had not Hazel asked

one of his infamous questions.

Uh, fauna, uh,

did you ever do that horoscope

the one you said

you was gonna do on me?

Oh, well, yeah, a-as a matter

of fact, I did, Hazel.

But I don't think

you'd be very interested in it.

Um, mm, why not? Is it bad?

Well, it ain't good.

Uh, uh, come on, I-l can take it.

- No, forget it.

- Uh, now... now, fauna.

I-I got a right to know.

Well, all right.

The stars say that

you are gonna be...

Oh.

That you are gonna be

President of the United States.

I don't believe it.

But I don't wanna be no president.

You got no choice,

the stars have spoke.

You'll just have to go to Washington.

But I don't want to.

I... don't know nobody there.

I'm sorry, Hazel.

Ain't there no way

I can tell them I won't do it?

Nope.

A thing like this

co... could ruin my whole life.

- Oh, Hazel, now, don't cry.

- We're gonna miss you, Hazel.

As the moment of the big party approached

Hazel became increasingly troubled.

But a man sentenced to be

President of the United States

could not go to a party as a dwarf.

It wasn't dignified.

Mack and the boys couldn't

agree on who should be dopey

and who should be sneezy,

so they all went as trees.

Jeez, you know,

I wish Hazel was here.

He's such a mug,

you forget he's sensitive.

Hell, I could've figured out

a costume for him

if I would've thought about it.

That's nice.

Joseph and Mary elected to go as Dracula.

He hadn't seen snow white,

but to him a moving picture

was a moving picture.

There's somebody coming.

Thanks, kid.

Okay, everybody, he's coming!

Surprise!

Which dwarf is that?

It's George Washington,

you idiot.

- How do I look?

- Oh, sweet, Hazel.

I mean, I-l couldn't

have done better myself.

- Yeah, sure.

- You look swell.

Okay, everybody, false alarm.

Jonesie, you don't

look good as an oak tree.

- I should wear that.

- You can have it, mack.

I wanted to be a palm tree anyway.

Surprise!

Surprise, doc!

Good to see you, doc.

We got you all kinds of frogs,

and we figured,

what the hell,

we might as well celebrate.

- What do you say?

- Oh, sure, mack. Fine.

It-it's just the way

you guys are dressed...

Oh, don't... don't worry, doc.

It'll all come clear.

- Play it, mack.

- Let's get it going.

One! Two!

Play it!

Come on, doc, dance.

Fauna, this snow white thing

is ridiculous.

I'm gonna feel like a fool

walking in there like this.

Just trust me, will you?

I know what goes over

in this town.

Hey, mack, they're here.

Okay, everybody!

Wait a minute! Shh, shh.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I bring you the belle of the ball

for whom this party

was named for.

I bring you...

Snow white!

Folks, this being

such a happy occasion

what with doc

getting his frogs and all,

I figured we might as well

just shoot the works

and make it a real blowout.

Now, in case some of you guys

don't know it,

doc and snow white here

are almost sweethearts.

There just don't seem

to be no stopping 'em.

Now, doc's gotta go

up to San Francisco

in a couple of days

for this convention of, uh,

guys who do the same stuff he does,

I forget what you call it.

Anyway, some of us was thinking

wouldn't it be nice

if he could take the kid here

with him to keep him company

and maybe show them jerks up there

what kind of material he runs with, yeah?

So, me and the boys

have rented these two

the ambassador suite

at the Fairmont hotel

for the whole goddamn weekend.

Ain't that a pistol?

Well, how about it, doc?

Go on, go and get your girl.

Well, I don't know, fauna.

I don't know if Suzy would, uh,

like these people much up there.

Yeah. I mean... it...

It's, uh...

This... they're very stuffy.

It's a lot of technical jargon.

Marine biologists.

C-cephalopoda.

What do I do?

Go over and take her hand

you jerk!

Don't leave her just standing there.

Fauna, forget it.

He don't wanna go through with it.

Uh, no, wait a minute. I-l-il...

I've been thinking it over and...

[ I... 1... I accept you.

The hell you do!

Suzy! Wait a second.

Hey, I-I'm sorry, really.

W-what can I do to make it up?

You can drop dead.

Oh, Christ.

I've gotta get out of here.

Come on, Joseph and Mary,

strike up the band.

Oh, don't worry, everybody.

Doc will bring her back soon.

By one o'clock, doc was still not back.

Everyone began to wonder

where he was.

Then some fraternity boys

dropped by

and the rest is history.

- Party.

- Party?

Come on, let's go.

Ooh! Party time.

Come on, let's go. Hey! Hey!

All right, will you look at this guy.

They'll let anybody in this place.

Hey, buddy.

What are you charging here?

What do you mean?

Now it's a whorehouse, isn't it?

It's my friend doc's home.

- We're having a party.

- Eh, that's all right, buddy.

We'll settle for a party.

This affair looks like

it could use a little class.

Sure, come on in.

We love guys with class.

All right!

Hey!

Get that guy!

Take that, you little pansy!

All right. Now, come on. Come on!

Give me that. Give me that!

I got you now, you little punk!

Come back and fight!

Come back and fight like a man,

you little bookworms!

Around two o'clock,

the invaders were finally driven

from doc's place.

At 2:30, only Hazel and

the offensive right tackle

from monterey college were left.

But even they were wearing down.

You can only have so much fun.

Oh, no. Doc's gonna kill us.

By 2:45, the party was over.

Nobody wondered

where doc was anymore.

Did you do this?

Doc, uh, I and the boys...

Did you do this, mack?

Well, we didn't mea...

Get up!

Go ahead, doc.

I got... I got it coming.

You son of a bitch, mack.

You stupid son of a bitch!

Mack...

Go wipe off your face.

What happened?

W-we kept going with the party.

We thought you'd be back.

=I see.

It got out of hand.

It don't do no good

to say I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for most things I do.

It just got all screwed up.

W-we'll... we"ll fix up in here,

me and the boys, doc.

We'll pay for

the stuff that got broke.

No. I'll clean it up, mack.

I know where everything goes.

- No, w-we"ll pay for it, doc...

- No. No, you won't, mack.

You'll worry about it a long time,

but you won't pay for it.

There's over $300 worth

of broken museum glass here alone.

Don't say you'll pay for it.

That's just gonna make you feel uneasy.

And it might be two or three

years before you forgot about it

and felt good again.

Then you wouldn't pay for it anyway.

But we gotta do something.

Well, let's just forget about it.

I'm over it now.

Uh, mack...

Uh, you know that fella

I was fighting?

Yeah. = uh-huh.

Ah, he's a hell of a nice guy, mack.

And we ought to have him

over some night, huh?

- I'll get right on it, Hazel.

- Oh, okay.

- So long, doc.

- So long.

Uh, mack, uh, you still think

they're gonna want me for president?

I have no idea.

Uh, I don't think presidents

goes to parties like this...

Despite doc's professed forgiveness,

a black gloom

settled over the row.

Doc just holed up in his house,

biding time till

the spring tide started

and he could get some more octopi.

It didn't even cross his mind

to call Ellen sedgewick.

And then there was Suzy.

Using some money

she borrowed from fauna,

she bought 27 dollars-worth

of household furnishings

and building materials.

Mack.

When she moved all this stuff

into the hediondo cannery's

old boiler,

everybody assumed she was

just going to store it there.

Little did they know it was

going to become her home.

At first, no one expected her

fo stick it out.

But when it was learned

she'd talked to Ellen

into working at the golden Poppy

for tips and meals,

it became obvious

that she wasn't going back

to the bear flag.

Fauna pleaded with her

fo at least board at the flag

but Suzy was adamant.

You guys are looking at a fool.

I'm a reasonable man. 1q, 152.

University of Chicago.

A masters and phd.

What do you say?

Thank you.

Now, regard this man.

He's about to pay

a formal call on a girl

that lives in a boiler.

Has a half a pound

of chocolates for her,

which is a goddamn cornball approach

if there ever was one.

And he's scared stiff.

Why? I'll tell you why.

He's afraid she won't approve of him.

This girl that calls him names

and is ignorant of everything

he prides himself on.

Am?

Well, she probably thinks

that table she made is good.

I think it's mediocre, don't you?

Good. Good.

Even if I manage to win her over,

there's gonna be many times I regret it.

The only thing we have in common

is that we're both wrong

for each other.

But if I let her go...

I'll miss her... badly.

More than I'll ever regret it.

Oh. I can't listen to you guys anymore.

You know something?

You don't know your ass about romance.

You don't even have an ass.

Wish me luck.

Thank you.

- Who is it?

- It's I.

Ugh. Uh, me.

Something like that.

Hey, doc.

Oh, uh, I've got something

for you, Suzy.

Well, that's nice of you.

Hansen toffees, huh?

How'd you know

that's Hansen toffees?

'Cause I'm allergic to 'em.

Suzy, uh, this is a formal call.

I was hoping that you might,

uh, might ask me in.

Well, there ain't a lot

of room in here.

Oh, what the hell. Come on in.

You gotta... you...

Watch your tie. Yeah. = yeah.

All right.

Yeah.

It's a little hard to see at first.

Lemme put the lamp up. = yeah.

There.

There's this welder,

eats over at the Poppy.

As soon as he can,

he's gonna come here

and cut me some windows

in the side.

You've done a hell of a job.

Well, I'm still working on it.

The only problem is that

I don't know how I'm gonna get curtains up

on these windows.

You know anything that would

stick cloth to metal?

Duco's pretty good.

You might try that.

- Duco?

- Yeah.

Suzy...

I'm sorry about

what happened at the party.

No need to talk about it.

Wasn't your fault.

Yes, it was.

I wasn't ready for

what you were offering me.

Look, doc, I had myself

a good cry about it.

It's all done.

Anybody feeling sorry for me

is just wasting their time.

Well, I don't blame you

for rubbing my nose in it, now,

- but...

- What do you mean, doc?

You told me how it was,

and I was just too dumb to listen.

You're a free guy.

You got important stuff to do.

And you like what you got.

And you don't need nobody

around to spoil it.

Uh, yeah, that's kinda

what I said, but, uh,

I knew it wasn't quite the truth

even when I said it.

You were embarrassed.

You didn't wanna be associated

with somebody like me.

You're not gonna forgive me, are you?

Nothing to forgive.

I'm on my own now,

and it don't hurt me no more.

In fact, I-l think it probably helped me.

Okay.

I guess I better be going.

Yeah, I gotta get down to the Poppy.

Yeah.

- Doc?

- Yeah?

I know about the seer.

He was maxie baker,

the guy you hit, huh?

Yeah.

When I looked him up,

it said he was in a mental ward.

Yeah, he was,

but I had him released in my care.

He'd have never made it in there.

Got nothing to blame yourself for, doc.

It was just a lousy goddamn accident.

He would tell you

the same thing if he could.

It wasn't your fault,

none of it.

Well, maybe not.

But it'll always be my responsibility.

Nothing can change that,

not even his forgiveness.

Some debts you never can repay.

I'm sorry, Suzy.

So am I.

But what the hell,

you can't have everything.

Great, Suzy,

you sure set him straight.

When first condemned to it,

Hazel had rejected the presidency.

But the tragic cast

of recent events on the row

had made him reconsider.

Some sort of leadership

was obviously necessary.

He began his quest with Suzy.

Hi, Hazel. = hi.

All I got for you this late is coffee.

Uh, um, that's okay.

I-l don't want nothing.

Hazel?

What are you doing?

I-I'm just helping you clean up.

Say, um, what do you think

is the matter with doc?

How would I know?

Well, I... l gotta do something

to help him.

'Cause he's done everything

in the world for me.

Uh, once he was

character witness for me

and I ain't even got no character.

What do you want me for, Hazel? Hmm?

Well, um, could you go over

and sit with him?

No.

Uh, but I... l thought you liked him.

I like him, all right.

If he was in real trouble,

like if he was sick

or he had a busted arm,

I'd take him some soup.

Well... okay.

Uh... i-l gotta go

do some thinking.

- So long, haze.

- So long, Suzy.

- What happened, Hazel?

- Uh, I don't know, doc. Uh...

I-I found him floating out in the rocks.

He must've got sucked out

by the tide.

- It ain't no use, doc.

- No, he's gonna be all right!

- He's gone!

- He's gonna be all right!

- It ain't no use, doc.

- He's gonna be all right!

He's gone, doc.

Oh, god.

Oh, I know it.

Oh, goddamn it, I know it.

Doc, huh, doc,

you want me to carry him

to the sheriff's for you?

No. I wanna do it myself.

So long, maxie.

Doc, I'm sorry about

all this stuff that's happened.

Ah, it's okay.

And... and now, Suzy.

Uh, she won't have you unless...

Unless what?

Uh, oh, nothing. Uh...

Anything I can... I can do, doc?

No, Hazel.

I just need some sleep.

I was up late last night.

Uh, doc, could I ask you something, um,

before you go to sleep?

Uh, y-you've always given me

good advice before.

Sure, Hazel. What is it?

Well, now, s-suppose there's

this guy that's in trouble

and h-he can't get out of it.

Um, but he's got a friend

and maybe he don't know

about it.

- That's you?

- Huh, no, it ain't.

It's some other guy.

Uh, but s-suppose this friend

know a way

to get the guy out of trouble.

Y-you think he oughta do it?

Sure.

That's what friendship is for.

Uh, even if it might hurt like hell?

Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.

Uh, doc?

I... l remember the seer

told me something once.

Uh, it was something like

"if you're gonna be

a true friend to s-somebody

then y-you got to be ready

to do hard stuff for 'em.

And y-you gotta be ready

to do stuff

um, that he might not even

like you no more for doing.

Uh, y-you got to be ready,

uh, to... to kill a guy

uh, if he's in pain, uh, real bad."

You think that stuff right, doc?

Well, I-l appreciate your advice, doc.

And... and, uh, I-I'll be seeing you later.

No one knows

how greatness comes to a man,

but Hazel, after fighting it,

denying it,

cursing it, everything...

Finally accepted

his greatness as he had

the poisoned presidency

of the United States.

There was no longer any escape.

He knew, now, what he must do.

There's nothing I can do.

Spring tides or no spring tides

you're gonna have to wear this cast

at least two months.

Now, how in the hell am I gonna go

collecting specimens with one arm?

I don't know.

I'm still waiting to hear how

you did this in the first place.

I told you, I can't remember.

I just woke up

with a terrible pain in my arm.

And the last thing I remember, I...

I was going for mack

and the boys for help.

Suit yourself.

The tissue over that break is smashed.

Looks like you've been hit

with a club.

Excuse me, doc,

I-l gotta go see a guy.

Uh, Eddie will help you

get home all right.

Okay, mack.

Thanks for bringing me over.

Hit with a club?

Hazel! Hey, Hazel!

I... l just came from the hospital.

Doc's got a broke arm.

You know something about it,

don't you?

You gon... gonna be mad at me, mack?

No, Hazel, I promise.

I didn't have no choice, mack.

Suzy said,

she wouldn't go see him

unless he got sick or had a broke arm.

I tried, um, but I couldn't

figure out how to get him sick.

There was no other way.

You sure you ain't mad, mack?

Hell, no.

'Course, we... we don't know how

she'll work out but...

It's a step in the right direction.

Mack, I can't do her.

Fauna has gotta get somebody else

for President of the United States.

I tried and I practiced

but I just ain't got the boot.

I'd mess up the whole country.

Hazel, you sweet little bastard.

Oh, we'll get you off.

Don't you worry.

You done noble stuff.

Wasn't nobody with guts but you.

You just sit there and take it easy.

You got the ball to the one-yard line.

Old mack's gonna carry it in for you!

- Does it hurt much, doc?

- Oh, it hurts a little, Eddie.

You know, I wish I could

figure out how I did it.

I feel like a damn jerk.

Hm.

Excuse me, doc,

I gotta go do something.

Yeah.

I heard you were hurt.

I just thought I'd come over and see

if there was anything I could do.

Nah, it just has to stay in a cast

for a couple of months.

And it shoots the hell out of

spring tides, though.

I don't know what I'm gonna do

for octopi now.

Doc...

I'll go down to la jolla with you.

How come?

Just because I thought me

and you could have a nice time.

Are you kidding?

Turning over rocks that weigh

50 to a 100 pounds?

You just tell me what to do

and what to look for.

But don't make me keep asking you,

otherwise I'm gonna get sour on it.

All right, but I can't promise you

I'll be able to write the paper.

Even after we've knocked

ourselves out to get the octopi.

Doesn't make no difference to me.

As long as you want me to go,

I ain't gonna feel cheated.

Okay.

I'll go tell Ellen I'm leaving.

You come and get me

when you're ready.

Suzy.

I love you.

Really?

Let me see your eyes.

Really.

Surprise!

Doc, doc, before we get

the party going real good,

we all got something to give you.

Now, I remember once you said

you couldn't do your octopus paper

because you didn't have the right stuff.

So, on behalf of me and the boys

and all the folks that chipped in

it makes me happy as hell to present you

with your new microscope!

Beautiful.

You like it?

They're gonna bill us.

Why, it's beautiful, mack.

It's really... beautiful.

It's the biggest one

in the whole goddamn catalog.

So far we've got over

six bucks collected.

I wanna thank everybody.

Y'all been wonderful friends.

Well, come on, everybody,

what are we waiting for?

Let's get on with the party!

The party didn't slow down until dawn.

The crew of a San Pedro tuna boat

showed up about one and was routed.

The police came by at two

and stayed to join the party.

Mack used their squad car

to go get more wine.

A woman called the police

to complain about the noise

and couldn't get anybody.

The crew of the tuna boat

came back about three

and was welcomed with open arms.

The police reported

their own car stolen

ahd found it later on the beach.

Things were finally back

to normal in cannery row.

Once again the world was

spinning in greased grooves.