Cannery Row (1982) - full transcript

Monterey, California in the 1940's. Cannery Row - the section of town where the now closed fish canneries are located - is inhabited primarily by the down and out, although many would not move away even if they could. Probably the most upstanding citizen in the area is Doc, a marine biologist who earns a living primarily by collecting and selling marine specimens for research. He is a lost soul who is looking for his place in life. He is running away from his past, one where he is trying to make amends for what he considers a past wrong. But his current life isn't totally satisfying either. He believes that his recent collection of eight baby octopi will help him define that future in conducting research on their behavior. However, he is finding that research is not as easy as he had hoped, and that he is still feeling restless. Into the area comes drifter Suzy DeSoto. She too is a lost soul. With few job skills, she gets a job as what she calls a floozy in the local whorehouse, despite her openly headstrong demeanor not making her well suited to the work. Doc and Suzy are immediately attracted to each other, but theirs is a clash of personalities, despite each truly liking the other. The other residents of Cannery Row do their part for a Doc/Suzy coupling, not always with successful results. Doc and Suzy will first have to find their own lot in life before they can commit to someone else, be it the other or anyone else.

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Cannery row has
never been like anywhere else.

For one thing,
its people are different.

When the town died off
most of them failed to notice.

Some say nobody would live here
if they didn't have to.

But there are some,
like the seer,

who wouldn't live anywhere else

even if they could.

Of all the people on cannery row,

doc is probably the best known.

He makes as good a living
as he needs

by collecting marine animals
and selling them



to colleges and museums.

Over the years, doc became
a pillar of the community

and its fountain
of science and philosophy.

He had friends
he didn't even know about.

And some he would never forget.

Friends like mack and the boys.

Mack is the elder and leader

of a small group of men
who have in common

no families,
no money, and no ambition

beyond the time to discuss
matters of interest

but little importance.

The youngest, and by far
the strongest of the group

is Hazel.

A childhood illness
was said to have left him



with slightly diminished
mental capacity.

As a result,
he had the mind of a small boy

grafted to the body of a bull.

Oh, come on, Hazel.

Don't be such a big scaredy-cat.

Get in there.

Hey, mack?

Oh, what is it, Hazel?

Uh, mack, last night, uh,

you said you was gonna lead us
in some exercise.

And you said we was
getting all out of shape

by living this high on the hog.

- I said that?
- Yeah, that's right.

- That's right, mack.
- Yeah. Yeah.

Jesus,
I must've been drunk as hell.

Uh, well, come on, mack,
uh-huh, we waiting on you.

Here we go.

Come on, mack.

I'm ready.

Okay, mack.

Hey. Let's go.

All right, you ready?

- Yeah.
- Let's get going.

Touch your toes!

Swing your hips!

Jumping Jacks!

- Good.
- Damn.

Hey, mack?

Look, I gotta go to la jolla
for a couple a days.

Feed the mice for me, will you?

There's cold beer
in the refrigerator if you want some.

Oh, don't worry about the mice, doc.

Me and the boys
will take care of it.

- Okay.
- Have a nice trip, doc.

Doc's a hell of a guy, you know.

Give you anything he's got.

A hell of a guy.

We ought to do something nice
for him sometime.

Yet despite the esteem
in which he was held,

doc was not fully content.

Lately, he'd been afflicted
with a gnawing restlessness.

A sense of something unfulfilled.

And so he planned
a collecting trip hoping,

the way a man will,

to smother his unease with activity.

At first, he turned up very little.

But by the third day
his luck began to change.

Under the boulders
of the intertidal zone,

he found eight baby octopi.

It was a little bonanza for him,
if he could keep them alive.

The next few days
he dedicated himself

to building an octopus world

within walls of glass,

trying to anticipate
every octopus need

and eliminate
every octopus danger.

Uh, doc...

I got something important

to talk to you about.

How much do you need, mack?

Two bucks.

Here.

Take it out of that, mack.

Just like that?
Well, what about my story?

What story?

Well, I had this story about
why I needed two bucks

but you didn't give me
a chance to do it.

You don't need a story, mack.

Well, the hell I don't!

I mean, you know,
I worked all night on the damn thing.

You know,
Hazel cried when I tried it on him.

You see,
I got this aunt in salinas.

She lost both husbands
in the flood and...

I didn't know you had an aunt
in salinas, mack.

I don't have an aunt in salinas,
for Christ sakes.

That's the goddamn story.

Look, doc,
wh-wh-what is the matter with you?

I got a problem, mack.

How in the hell
am I going to light 'em?

Light what?

The octopi.

The octopi are afraid of light.

Now how in the hell am I gonna
get enough light in there

without driving 'em under cover?

Why don't you just give up?

Oh, mack, wait a minute,
octopi are fascinating creatures.

You see,
they have emotional states

that are roughly like our own.

They'll show fear, anger, excitement,

all by color changes in their bodies.

I'l be damned.

Unfortunately, I'm gonna need
a wide-angle binocular scope.

- A what?
- Binocular scope.

"Binocular scope.”

Even if I do get the light right,
how am I gonna...

Doc, doc, doc. Look at me, doc.

I-I-it's me, mack, your friend.

Now, what's been wrong with you
past couple of days?

This is the fifth time
you've redone this tank.

Oh, I'm all right, mack.

Really.

I just need to do something

different for a change.

Something of value, maybe.
= what the hell for?

You ain't done nothing up to now.
Nobody's complaining.

Well, that's just the point, mack.

A man oughta make a Mark even if
it's a scribble, shouldn't he?

Hell, every year, you know,

ll go up to
the congress of marine biologists

in San Francisco.

Every year, I've got to listen
to a bunch of goddamn guys

reciting papers on all
the dandy stuff they know.

Well, hell, this year
they're gonna sit through

a paper of my own for a change.

I know these animals
as well as anybody.

I ought to be able to find out
something about them

that's worth knowing.

I think I'll call my paper...

"Symptoms...

In some cephalopoda...

Approximating apoplexy.”

Afternoon, angel.
What can I get you?

Oh, nothing, I was wondering,

do you know
of any work around here?

Not offhand. Hasn't been much
since the canneries were closed.

They're not any of them running?

I mean,
this is cannery row, isn't it?

Yeah, and we still got
plenty of cans to prove it.

All we don't got
is any sardines to put in 'em.

They all disappeared
a couple years ago.

Well, what happened to 'em?

A lot of people like to know that.

Personally, I think
they just fished 'em all out.

You know, I ain't the expert.

Now nothing much happens

until mack and the boys
from fort ord come over.

Do you think I can leave
this suitcase here

for a while while I look around?

Sure. I'll put it
back of the counter.

Thanks.
Oh, what if you're off shift

by the time I get back?

Honey, I ain't never off shift.

Thanks.

- Bye!
- Bye!

Would you like some salami
with that?

I'm sorry, I-l didn't know
this was your bag.

Oh, it's all right.

You're welcome to anything in it.

You've had a rotten day.

What makes you say that?

I can't help it. I'm a seer.

It's my business
to know these things.

I live alone.

I listen to the sound
of the waves at night.

I follow the moon
through the pines

and in the depth of my solitude,
I see visions.

Anyone would.

Is there anything
I can help you with?

I guess you just expect me
to believe all this?

Oh, I don't expect anything.

I don't need anything.

My friends above provide me
with food and lodging.

After you've had something to eat,
come on in for a swim.

It'll make you feel better.

No, thanks, I-I've gotta be going.

Besides, I don't even know
how to swim.

I don't either.

I just go in up to my chest.

- So long.
- So long.

Hi, I'd like to speak
with the manager, please.

Sure. Come on in.

The oyster fork goes on the left

next to the salad fork.

- This way.
- Like hell!

Fauna says it goes on the right,

between the cheese knife
and the soup spoon.

It's the only fork that goes on the right.

If you knew about anything,
dearie...

You would know that a table
is set with the fork

always on the left,
never on the right.

I'm telling you that
this fork goes on the right.

And I know something
about anything.

So there!

Ah, excuse me, fauna.

There's a girl here to see you.

She say what she wants?

No, she just wants to see the manager.

Okay, gili.

I don't have much time,
but send her in.

Okay, go on in.

Name's Suzy desoto.

Sit down, Suzy,
I'll be with you in a minute.

I'd like a job as a waitress
if you got one.

A waitress?

This is the bear flag restaurant,
isn't it?

Yeah, but we don't serve
too many sandwiches in here.

I kind of figured that.

Sorry, we couldn't help you,
Ms. desoto.

No, wait a minute.

Yeah?

I'd still like a job.

As what?

As, you know a...

A floozy.

Well, first off,
we don't call ourselves

floozies in here.

And second, you ever done
this kinda thing before?

What do you gotta do besides lie down?

You gotta pretend that you like it.

Don't you have a hard luck story
that'd kind of sway me?

No. = you broke?

- Yeah.
- Where are you from?

Lots of places.

You don't give out
much information, do you?

Well, what the hell is this?

I ain't applying for a government job.

Look, I've got to know
certain things

about the people I take on.

I've got all quality girls here.

You see them pictures over there
on the mantelpiece?

Every single one of them,
young ladies from "the flag"

that married and married well.

Hell, half of them
couldn't count to three

when they come in here,
but they had potential.

Look at this one here.
That's Wisteria.

Convicted of shoplifting four times.

But I worked on her,
taught her all the finer things

and now she is married
to the president

of the salinas forward and upward club.

Carried the tree on arbor day.

So, you wanna work for me

you tell me what I need to know.

Now, let's try it again.

Where are you from?

Indiana, when I was little.

Your folks still there?

I don't know.

I went away to work
when I was about 10.

I've been making my way
out to the coast ever since, I guess.

Doing what?

The usual.

After being a runner-up
in the miss America pageant

I went directly
into professional ice-skating.

You don't say!

That's correct.

Well, judging by the stains
on your hands, young lady,

looks like you've been doing
a little fruit picking

in between performances.

I've had a lot of lousy jobs.

I even tried taxi dancing once.

But just couldn't take all the creeps.

Well, we don't get a lot of eagle scouts
in here, either.

If you're gonna worry
so much about your dignity,

you better find yourself another line.

Look, Ms. flood,
I need this job.

So I get pushed around
a little bit here and there.

Just as long as I'm not
being made to feel small.

Okay.

Winnie's going back east next week.

You can take her spot
until she gets back.

- Thank you, Ms. flood.
- I can't guarantee much...

After that.
Jc penny's is open till six.

Buy yourself a dress,
fancy but cheap.

- Thanks.
- Supper's at half past six.

Beef stew tonight,
creamed carrots.

Cherry jell-o for dessert.

And dormitory's on the third floor.

You're not going
to regret this, Ms. flood.

Oh, sure.

By the way,
what do we call ourselves?

"Girls" is good enough.

Doc plunged into his octopus studies

with all the professional dedication
he could muster.

He prodded them, injected
various chemicals into their water

and generally
did everything he could

to get the little buggers
fo react.

Unfortunately, the conclusions to be drawn

from all this were slow in coming.

Doc decided
a change of pace might help.

Because it was Wednesday night,

he knew where Ellen sedgewick
would be.

Ultimately,
even Ellen failed to inspire him.

But doc knew he was
on to something.

Even if he couldn't figure out
what it was.

- Hi, Joseph and Mary.
- Hi, fauna.

Let's see now,
I need some yellow pads,

a box of pencils,
number two lead,

and a bottle of BlackBerry Brandy.

You still doing
that astrology thing?

Oh, hell, yeah.

Hazel wants me to do a chart on him.

Ever since the stars said that
Jones was gonna marry Lana Turner,

everybody on the row
wants their chart done.

I have to go to the other counter
for your Brandy.

Yeah. Take your time.

So, he's the one.
= the one what?

The one who leaves
the bags of stuff for the seer.

Oh, hell, yeah.

Doc's been doing that
10, 15 years now.

Him and the boys even built him

a little house out there
in the dunes.

And the guy still thinks
it all comes from heaven?

Man, he ain't all with it up here.

You know what I mean?

Hell of a town you got here.

Yeah, it is nice, ain't it?

All set, fauna.

Hi, doc.

Morning, fauna.

Hey, jm, how about a couple
of cold ones, back on the ice?

- You got it, doc.
- All right.

Oh, hey, doc,
you know Suzy here?

Mm.

Come here.

- How do you do?
- Well, how do you do?

Suzy's just starting
at the bear flag.

Oh, really?

I, uh, in here to buy beer.

Budweiser. = oh.

I... l knew this guy once
who was always talking about,

uh, he was gonna order
a beer milkshake at a drive-in.

Uh-huh.

Huh...

He never...

He never did.

Oh.

He was chicken. Hm.

- Got your beer, doc.
- Yeah, yeah.

Suzy?

Nice to have met you.

- So long, doc.
- Bye, fauna.

Nice to have met you.

Come in.

How do you do?

Oh, hello.

- What's that you got?
- Some macaroons.

The cook at
the bear flag made them.

How come? = fauna told him to.

She sent you some beer, too.

Oh. That's nice of fauna.

I wonder what she wants.

Nothing, I think she was...

Jeez, what have you
got them for?

I take their venom and I sell it.

I wouldn't want to live with
a bunch of filthy snakes.

Oh, wait a minute,
snakes are cleaner than people.

They even shed their skin.

Why would you call 'em filthy?

You wanna know why? = yeah.

- 'Cause you ran fauna down.
- Oh, no, wait a minute.

I didn't not run fauna down.

You said she was doing it
to get something out of you.

And she just done it to be nice.

Oh, I see.

That's why you call snakes filthy.

Mm-hmm.

Listen, fauna is one of my best friends.

So, why don't we just have a beer
and make peace, okay?

Okay.

Sit down.

I guess it's okay.

Here.

So, what are you doing with
all these little dishes here?

Well, I'm making a series of slides
to show the development

of sea urchin embryos.

Here.

Take a look.

You see, I have to fix one of
these cultures every half hour

and then monitor it on
a slide until I have a series

and you show students
how sea urchins go from an egg

to a complete organism.

Why do they wanna know that for?

Well, because that's the way
people develop.

Anyway, I have to do another
culture in two minutes.

Why don't they just study people?

It'd be a little difficult
to kill unborn babies

every half hour, wouldn't it?

Hell, I don't know about all this stuff.

It's a pretty funny business,
unborn things and all that.

There are funnier businesses.

Well, I guess you'd be talking
about my business now.

You don't like my business,
do you?

It doesn't matter whether
I like your business or not, does it?

I mean, it's there, isn't it?

I just think it's kind of
a sad substitute for love.

Oh. And what do you got, mister?

Bugs, snakes?

Look at this dump! It stinks.

You ain't even got
a decent suit of clothes.

I bet you can't remember when
was your last hot meal was.

You sit here breeding starfish
for Christ's sake.

Sea urchins!

What the hell do you think
that's a substitute for, huh?

Wait a minute. I do what I want.

I live the way I want,
and I'm free.

Now, do you get that?

I'm free and I do what I want.

Well, who'd wanna do
this stuff anyway?

Well, who'd want to go
to bed with anybody

that's got three bucks?

Maybe somebody who needs
the three bucks, Mr. tight ass.

And it seems to me,
I heard something about you writing

some great big, goddamn,
highfalutin paper.

Who told you that?

Everybody knows it, doc.

You wanna know why?

Because they know
you're just fooling yourself.

You ain't never gonna write no paper.

And some of 'em
are even laughing at you.

Who's laughing at me?

I shouldn't have said that.

I wish to Christ I hadn't said that.

Doc, I'm just gonna leave before

I stick my foot in it any more.

Wait a minute.

Who's laughing at me?

I don't even know
what I'm talking about.

I just... running off at the mouth,
doc. Please, forget about it.

Fauna's gonna kill me,
she'll wring my neck.

Will you forget about it, doc?

Hi, I'm Suzy desoto.

How you doing, desoto?

How come you're not
talking your clothes off?

I thought maybe you'd wanna do it
as sort of a lead-in.

What for?
I don't need no encouragement.

Lead-ins are for guys
who can't cut the mustard.

As long as I got this on,
what do you think of it?

- What?
- How do I look?

I don't know,
you're still dressed.

Well, that's what I mean,
the dress.

Took me an hour and a half
to pick it out.

Gonna take you longer than that
to take it off.

I wanna know what you think.

I don't have no opinion.

- Well, make one up.
- Oh, what the hell for?

'Cause I paid 12.99 for
this goddamn dress, that's what for.

Thirteen bucks to look nice
for guys like you.

Now I ain't taking it off
till you tell me how you like it.

Fits all right, I mean.

I-I like it okay.

Thank you.

Jesus Christ.

I've got to get out of here.

Suzy?

Hey, what are you doing up?

Thinking.

About what?

Doc.

Yeah? What about him?

I just don't understand
what a man like him is doing here.

Maybe he likes it.

Oh, I know that, fauna.

But he don't need it.

I mean, he could make
a good living anywhere.

Does he ever talk about himself?

You know, like where he comes from
and stuff like that.

Well, sometimes he mentions
little things here and there.

I know he played
some baseball once.

Baseball?
You mean, like major league?

Yeah, I guess so.

What's his real name?

Daniels. Ed Daniels.

The blur?
Eddie "the blur” Daniels?

The what?

He used to pitch for
the Philadelphia athletics.

Jeez, I remember him.

They called him "the blur”
because his...

His pitches were so fast
that no one could see 'em.

How come you know
so much about baseball, huh?

Oh, I used to listen
to baseball all the time.

Jeez, you know...

Doc was a hell of a pitcher
for a while.

You know,
one year he won 20 games.

Two years. '25 and "26.

Ha! You been holding out on me.

Look, kid, I'm beat!

I got to hit the sack.

Yeah, but is that all of it?

Aren't you gonna tell me the rest?

What... what rest?

He played ball, now he don't.

Yeah, but I mean,
why did he stop?

One day he's pitching,
and the next day he's gone.

He don't volunteer
too much about it.

And nobody asks him?

Look, kid, I got as much interest
as the next guy

in a person's past,
but see, on the row,

folks don't have very good ones,
so we don't dwell on it.

All right?

No, no, it's not all right,
you know why?

Because everybody
looks up to him.

And... and... and no one knows
anything about him.

Honey, one of the reasons
people live on the row

is they don't want
to be well-known.

Okay?

- So, he's just hiding out.
- He ain't hiding out.

He just ain't putting hisself

forward for comment, that's all.

Well, fauna, if we put him
forward for comment...

Goodnight, Suzy.

We could ask him and..
And he's... =and he's...

He's Eddie "the blur.”

Doc's Eddie "the blur."

After an hour or so,
doc was tired of driving.

Something more was needed
fo combat his restlessness.

An element of danger, maybe.

Because he could find no one
to get in a fight with,

he did the next best thing.

What'll it be?

A beer milkshake.

- A beer milkshake?
- That's right.

Use vanilla ice cream
and a half a bottle of beer.

Did I make it right?

You make a good one,
you really do.

Thanks.

Tell me, doc, what did you think
of the kid yesterday?

Suzy? =- mm-hmm.

She really threw the book at me.

Somehow, I don't see her
working in the bear flag.

Would it do you any harm
to make a play for Suzy,

the way you do with them
other dames you take out?

See, doc, the way I figure it is

if you wish to make a pitch
for her like she was a real lady,

she might start believing it herself.

Well, what good's that gonna do?

Might get her the hell out
of the bear flag.

Might be she wouldn't
want to congregate

with no more floozies.

Might take up typewriting
or telephone operating.

I could stop losing money on her.

And what about me, fauna?

What the hell
am I gonna do with her?

Hell, doc.

You don't marry
them other dames, do you?

Now, see, once she gets
her confidence up,

she'll just take a quick powder.

I don't know, fauna,
seems a little far-fetched.

You don't have to make no pass.

Just be nice to her.

I'll have to think about it.

But doc was tired of thinking.

He decided instead to visit the seer.

Something he'd done regularly for years.

Some people say I'm crazy.

It belonged to my mother's mule.

Told me as long as I wear this hat,

nothing bad would ever happen to me.

Well, must be nice
to have a guardian mule.

Say, what do you think of octopi?

Moody. Very moody.

Doesn't take much to upset 'em.

I wish you could ask 'em why sometime.

You seem to have the gift of gab
on animals.

I did ask them once,
they wouldn't tell me.

Very tight-lipped.

You seem a little confused today.

What's aching you,
or don't you want to talk about it?

Well, I'd just soon talk
about it if I knew what it was.

I do the same things I've always done.

I just seem to think
about 'em more.

I seem compelled to take
everything I've seen and learned

and refine it until
it adds up to something.

I don't know.

Maybe you're not ready.

Maybe you need some help.

What kind?

Well, there are some things
a man can't do alone.

I wouldn't think of trying
anything so big without...

Without what?

Without someone
who's pretty handy

with a sponge in my corner.

And what does that mean?

Oh. I'm sorry.

Forget I asked
that question, all right?

Just forget I asked that.

It's time I go watch
the sunset now.

I wouldn't be much of a seer
if I didn't do that.

Yeah.

I've even come to think that
it wouldn't go down without me.

J above j

J everywhere j

j love is all around me j

j da-da-da j

- Doc?
- Yeah.

Uh, look, I wanted to tell you
about the other night.

I really...
I wanted to apologize.

And I didn't have the time,
I didn't mean most of that stuff.

No, there's no need to apologize

because you were right
about some things.

No, but I was just doing that
to get back at you

'cause I thought you were running me down
for being a floozy.

I mean, what difference does it
make where the truth comes from

as long as it's the truth, huh?

Meaning what?
That I am a floozy?

- No, I didn't mean that!
- What, then?

I didn't mean...

J keep on dreaming j

what the hell is that you got on?

It's costume night.
Fauna made me little Bo peep.

I guess some guys think
it's racy or something.

Little Bo peep?

Well, it...
Doc, it was this or a nun,

and I ain't gonna be no nun.

I don't believe in it.

Somehow these fine
moral distinctions escape me.

You're the one
making the distinctions.

I'm just trying to make a living.

Yeah, and it doesn't matter
what kind of living you make.

Don't start lecturing me, doc.

What has your goddamn
distinctions gotten you?

You got a wife? No.

- You got a girl? No.
- I got all the women I need.

Oh, like that dame
with the fur coat at your place

the other night,
how'd she like your bugs?

- Hey, she liked my bugs fine.
- Oh, peachy.

Then how come you can't
you admit to anyone

that you used to be
a baseball player?

How does that fit in...
Who told you that?

I heard you pitch once.
= you heard me?

On the radio,
at this diner I used to work.

And I remember it
because one of my favorites,

Louis delano, got a triple off of you.

That's because beringer, my right fielder,
was drunk and fell down.

- It should have been a routine out.
- Oh, the crack of that bat was so loud!

I know a solid hit when I hear one.

And if that woman loved
your bugs so much,

how come she left early?

Because she had an appointment.

At 11 o'clock at night, doc?

She's got a busy schedule.

Hell, I'd have been embarrassed
to run out a hit like that.

Oh, it did bounce off the wall, doc!

Yeah, after beringer got up
and kicked it!

Delano couldn't hit the wall
if we were playing in here!

If she was having such
a wonderful time

how come she couldn't rearrange
her busy schedule?

Because she's a woman
of principle, delano...

She sounds like a woman
taking a powder to me, doc.

I told you,
she had somebody to meet.

- Who?
- Her husband!

Her husband?

Ain't no homewrecker!

- That's disgusting!
- Oh, yeah?

I'm sure fauna calls
the hall of records to make sure

that every guy
that comes in here is single!

Jesus! Louis delano.

How could you get a man
like that to be your hero?

I don't know, doc.

Look, every time I talk to you,
I get more confused.

I like you just fine
when you're not around.

Hmm.

I'll turn this stuff off.
You probably hate it.

Wait. I like Bob Crosby.

How'd you know
this was Bob Crosby?

You think I don't know
Bob Crosby when I hear him?

I happen to know every player
in his whole goddamn band.

Who cares
who all those bozos are?

His music's for dancing,
it ain't for memorizing.

Oh, so now you don't think
I know how to dance!

By
All right, I'll tell you what.

Put a fast song on and turn it up.
= huh?

I said, put a fast song on
and turn it up.

Let's see what you got,
hot stuff.

Slow down, doc,
you're wearing me out.

What's the matter,
don't you know shorty George?

Oh, shorty George.
Sorry, I didn't recognize it.

You know side cars?
= [it'll come to me.

- How about a little pecking?
- Hey, no sweat.

Oh. = oh!

Hey, little Suzy q, huh?

Can't you get any higher?

- How about around the block?
- Meet you at the corner.

Yeah?

So long. Going to Kansas City.

Like hell.

What the hell was that?

I call it an "over the rainbow."

I knew you wouldn't
be able to do it.

Why didn't you tell me you were
gonna do over the rainbow?

Wouldn't have made no
difference, doc.

- Scared to try that again?
- Shaking in my boots.

And try it again they did.

Doc! = oh.

It never occurred to them
that maybe they weren't any good.

= oh!

You bridged too early.

Otherwise we would have had it.

So, they decided
to give it one more try.

Whoa...

Thanks.

You're not too bad.

You wanna have dinner
Saturday night?

Sure. Sounds all right.

I'll see you then.

Mm-hmm.

- Oh.
- Oh, no.

Hi.

Oh.

Okay, now watch this shot.

The events of the previous night

were a hot topic of conversation

at the local country club.

Mack decided the time was right

to throw their friend,
doc, a party.

I figure it'd take 10
or 12 bucks to give doc

a party
he wouldn't be ashamed of.

Tough line there, jonesie.

Because they didn't have

the 10 or 12 bucks,

mack sent Hazel
over to see if doc

needed any animals collected.

Once, doc had given
the boys a quarter

for every live turtle
they found.

Um, by the way, doc,
uh, you need any turtles?

Not right now, Hazel.
I don't have any orders.

Oh...

What's mack need money for?

Uh, please don't make me
answer no questions.

You never could lie,
could you, Hazel?

I do have an order
for several hundred frogs.

You and the boys
wanna give it a try?

I'll give you five cents a frog.

Uh, don't you worry
about nothing, doc.

We gonna get you
all the frogs that you want.

I know this place
up the carmel river

and that's got tons of frogs.

Yeah, well, how you gonna get there?

Oh, why, we was gonna use
Joseph and Mary's truck

to get the turtles.

Uh, mack figured he wouldn't mind.

Old mack's got an angle.

Yeah, I'm sure he does.

I think I got it, mack.

- Okay, let's go.
- Come on, come on, come on.

As it turned out, mack was right.

Joseph and Mary not only didn't mind

that the boys used the truck,

he didn't even know.

The great frog expedition
was definitely in business.

During the millennia
that men have hunted frogs

a pattern of hunt and parry
has developed.

The man, with net poised,
creeps noiselessly,

so he thinks, towards the frog,

who sits very still and waits.

The rules of the game require
the frog to bide his time

until the final
flicker of a second

when the net is descending,

and then jump into the water,
swim to the bottom,

and wait for things
fo blow over.

This is the way it's done,
the way it's always been done.

Frogs don't resent this.

But how could they have
anticipated mack's new method?

How could they have foreseen
the horror that followed?

Geronimo!

Look out, frogs,
here comes Jones!

Come on, frogs!

It's working.

Never in frog history

had such a round-up taken place.

Get along little doggies!
Get along little doggies!

Hyah, hyah, hyah!

A few frogs
floundered around the bottom

and got through to safety.

But the majority decided
to leave this pond forever

to find a new home
where this kind of thing

didn't happen.

And that was their undoing.

Ah!

Hit it, Eddie!

Come on, fellas, do it!

The frogs were never counted

but there must have been
close to 1,000.

Their impact would soon
be felt on cannery row.

I never seen you
in a jacket before, doc.

You look real sharp, though.

You're gonna be a killer in that.

Aw, it's too much.

She's probably gonna show up in
one of those little day outfits

and make me look like a fool.

Besides, I don't want her
to get the wrong idea,

like I'm trying
to impress her or something.

She's a hooker.

What do I wanna impress her for?

Suzy girl, if I was your age,

with your face and shape
and what I know,

wouldn't be no man safe.

I got the know-how,
but that's all I got.

I'm scared, fauna.

I ain't got the class of a duck.

I mean, what are we gonna
talk about anyway?

I don't know nothing
compared to him.

You got just as much
to talk about as anybody.

Ain't nothing gonna go wrong
so long as you don't make like

you know something you don't.

Act like a expert all the time and

sooner or later,
you fall on your ass.

And if he wants to do
something nice for you,

for god's sake, let him,
will you?

Ain't no disgrace for somebody
to do you a favor.

Okay, girls, that's enough.
Come on, scram.

Still too much.

What am I putting myself
through this for?

I oughta wear
what I normally wear.

So, she thinks I'm underdressed.

Who cares what she thinks?

Don't look at me, doc.
I'm just sitting here.

Hi, doc. I'm all set.

Excuse me.

I gotta go
and make a phone call.

I'll be right back.

All right.

- Hey.
- Sonny.

Good to see you, doc.
Your table's ready.

Right this way, please.

Your secretary called.
It's all fixed.

You got a secretary now, doc?

Just part-time.

Well, it's good
that you telephoned, doc.

Mm-hm.

Did have a little trouble

finding the pompano,
but I got it.

I'll have your drinks
sent over in a minute.

Well, you two,
enjoy your dinner.

Thank you, Sonny.

This is really something, doc.

Ah, hell, it's nothing, really.

Thank you.

I'm glad you came
with me tonight.

Here's to both of us.

Suzy soon discovered
something for herself.

When in doubt, move slowly.

Slowness.

It made everything regal.

The crab required
an eating technique

she didn't know.

She did everything
a little behind doc

and he wasn't aware that
she watched every move he made.

Do you like champagne?

I love it.

Oh, I mean,
I will as soon as I taste it.

You know,
out in the sand dunes...

There are little gullies
covered with pines.

When you can... let's take some meat and
things and make a fire, cook dinner.

This fire make you think of it?

That's right.

Look, doc...

I hope you don't mind me
asking you this.

But why did you get out
of baseball so young?

I had a couple of bad years

so I decided it was time to quit.

Doc, when you quit,
you were 21 and 10

with three weeks left in the season.

I looked it up in the almanac.

I don't mean to be prying.

I just figure
if we're gonna be friends then...

I threw a bad pitch.

- One bad pitch?
- It hit a guy.

Every pitcher hits a guy
now and then.

It hit him in the head.

At first, I thought I'd killed him.

He was in a coma for two weeks.

He came out of it.

But he was never the same after that.

You know, I yelled at him

but I don't think
he ever saw the ball coming.

Yeah, but you didn't
mean to hit him.

I mean,
it was an accident, right?

I mean, you shouldn't've
had to quit 'cause of that.

Oh, my heart
wasn't in it anymore.

So, I decided to get out
rather than pitch lousy.

But that still don't mean
you gotta bury Eddie Daniels.

It's like he's wanted
by the FBI or something.

I'm not burying Eddie Daniels,
for Christ's sake.

I just don't wanna be around
people who feel sorry for me

because they're sure
I could have been great.

And now they think I play
with seashells for a living.

Oh, I'm sorry
I brought all this up.

I mean, we were having
a good time and all that.

And I had to go and...
= no, no, no. No.

It's all right.

I meant it when I said I was glad

you came with me tonight.

Yeah?

I was planning on a much
worse time than this...

But you really screwed it up.

You know that place you said,
out in the sand dunes?

Yes?

Could we see it sometime?

Whenever you want.

On the way back?

You'll ruin your shoes.

I know.

You could take 'em off.

I will.

Oh, my god.

What have I got myself into?

The boys returned
secure in the knowledge

that they had enough frogs
to bankroll a party

of shocking proportions.

What they needed now
was a way to convert them all

to hard cash.

Joseph and Mary,
you know that doc

set the price on frogs
at 20 for a buck.

Doc's gone away,
and me and the boys is a little hungry.

Plus, we could use some steaks
and stuff for doc's party.

So, what we thought is this.

We don't want you to suffer none

so, we'll make over to you

twenty-five frogs for a buck.

You got a five frog profit there,

and nobody loses his shirt.

To his own dismay

Joseph and Mary
couldn't really find

anything wrong
with this proposition.

Okay.

You got a deal.

But I don't want no dead fogs.

Do you hear that?

After that, business was brisk.

Joseph and Mary knew he had
a stranglehold on the consumer.

He was pretty sure the thrift mart

wouldn't approve
of this new monetary system.

If the boys wanted food
on the frog standard,

they had to pay
Joseph and Mary's price.

Some bitterness began to arise

as time wore on
and prices went up.

Canned peaches were sky-high
at eight frogs a can.

Steaks shouldn't have been
more than 10 frogs a pound.

One frog, right?

Two.

Joseph and Mary,
I only got one frog.

Two.

Play ball.

All right, mack!

All right, mack.

Get ahold of one.
Big windmill, big windmill.

- Come on, mack. Play hard.
- Take no bad ones, mack.

Hit one to me.

Come on, mack,
keep your eye on it.

Strike one.

What are you
waiting for, mack? A bus?

I'm waiting... right here.

Come on, mack.

Show them where you live, mack.

She's got a candy arm.
Candy arm.

Hit the damn ball, will you?

- Strike two.
- Hey, mack!

You're swatting high.

We got him now. = relax.

- Take it easy, honey.
- Make her pitch to you, mack.

- Come on, mack.
- One more, Colleen.

Let's go, baby.

Come on, mack,
we're going to sleep out here.

Come on, mack. You're more
of a man than she'll ever be.

Round-tripper. Round-tripper.

I don't think
you're gonna hit her like that.

What the hell
do you know about it?

You ever played baseball?

Not that I know of.

But it seems to me
you're going about it all wrong.

We'll see.

All right, mack,
you can do it, all right.

- Show them where you live.
- Okay, mack.

Big base knock.
Big base knock, mack. Okay.

- Oh!
- Strike three.

Adios, amigo.

I told you so.

Maybe you'd like to try
hitting off her?

Well...

If you won't believe me otherwise

guess I'll have to.

How should I pitch to him?

Pitch slow.

- Real slow.
- Okay.

How come you're pitching so slow?

I was only trying to make it
easy on you.

How's he gonna know if my advice
is any good if you make it easy?

All right, you asked for it.

You know, I think bringing
the hands up is the key.

In the days since its conception,

mack's party idea had
caught on all over the row.

A meeting was called at the bear flag
to finalize plans.

Everyone agreed it should be
a surprise party at doc's house.

And it should have a theme

to lend it some class.

The boys chose snow white
and the seven dwarfs

because they had seen
the movie recently

and the costumes
were fresh in mind.

And because they couldn't think
of anything else.

The meeting would have adjourned

without further ado,

had not Hazel asked

one of his infamous questions.

Uh, fauna, uh,
did you ever do that horoscope

the one you said
you was gonna do on me?

Oh, well, yeah, a-as a matter
of fact, I did, Hazel.

But I don't think
you'd be very interested in it.

Um, mm, why not? Is it bad?

Well, it ain't good.

Uh, uh, come on, I-l can take it.

- No, forget it.
- Uh, now... now, fauna.

I-I got a right to know.

Well, all right.

The stars say that
you are gonna be...

Oh.

That you are gonna be

President of the United States.

I don't believe it.

But I don't wanna be no president.

You got no choice,
the stars have spoke.

You'll just have to go to Washington.

But I don't want to.

I... don't know nobody there.

I'm sorry, Hazel.

Ain't there no way
I can tell them I won't do it?

Nope.

A thing like this
co... could ruin my whole life.

- Oh, Hazel, now, don't cry.
- We're gonna miss you, Hazel.

As the moment of the big party approached

Hazel became increasingly troubled.

But a man sentenced to be
President of the United States

could not go to a party as a dwarf.

It wasn't dignified.

Mack and the boys couldn't
agree on who should be dopey

and who should be sneezy,

so they all went as trees.

Jeez, you know,
I wish Hazel was here.

He's such a mug,
you forget he's sensitive.

Hell, I could've figured out
a costume for him

if I would've thought about it.

That's nice.

Joseph and Mary elected to go as Dracula.

He hadn't seen snow white,

but to him a moving picture
was a moving picture.

There's somebody coming.

Thanks, kid.

Okay, everybody, he's coming!

Surprise!

Which dwarf is that?

It's George Washington,
you idiot.

- How do I look?
- Oh, sweet, Hazel.

I mean, I-l couldn't
have done better myself.

- Yeah, sure.
- You look swell.

Okay, everybody, false alarm.

Jonesie, you don't
look good as an oak tree.

- I should wear that.
- You can have it, mack.

I wanted to be a palm tree anyway.

Surprise!

Surprise, doc!

Good to see you, doc.

We got you all kinds of frogs,
and we figured,

what the hell,
we might as well celebrate.

- What do you say?
- Oh, sure, mack. Fine.

It-it's just the way
you guys are dressed...

Oh, don't... don't worry, doc.
It'll all come clear.

- Play it, mack.
- Let's get it going.

One! Two!

Play it!

Come on, doc, dance.

Fauna, this snow white thing
is ridiculous.

I'm gonna feel like a fool
walking in there like this.

Just trust me, will you?

I know what goes over
in this town.

Hey, mack, they're here.

Okay, everybody!
Wait a minute! Shh, shh.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I bring you the belle of the ball

for whom this party
was named for.

I bring you...

Snow white!

Folks, this being
such a happy occasion

what with doc
getting his frogs and all,

I figured we might as well
just shoot the works

and make it a real blowout.

Now, in case some of you guys
don't know it,

doc and snow white here
are almost sweethearts.

There just don't seem
to be no stopping 'em.

Now, doc's gotta go
up to San Francisco

in a couple of days
for this convention of, uh,

guys who do the same stuff he does,
I forget what you call it.

Anyway, some of us was thinking

wouldn't it be nice
if he could take the kid here

with him to keep him company

and maybe show them jerks up there

what kind of material he runs with, yeah?

So, me and the boys
have rented these two

the ambassador suite
at the Fairmont hotel

for the whole goddamn weekend.

Ain't that a pistol?

Well, how about it, doc?

Go on, go and get your girl.

Well, I don't know, fauna.

I don't know if Suzy would, uh,
like these people much up there.

Yeah. I mean... it...

It's, uh...

This... they're very stuffy.

It's a lot of technical jargon.

Marine biologists.

C-cephalopoda.

What do I do?

Go over and take her hand
you jerk!

Don't leave her just standing there.

Fauna, forget it.

He don't wanna go through with it.

Uh, no, wait a minute. I-l-il...

I've been thinking it over and...

[ I... 1... I accept you.

The hell you do!

Suzy! Wait a second.

Hey, I-I'm sorry, really.
W-what can I do to make it up?

You can drop dead.

Oh, Christ.
I've gotta get out of here.

Come on, Joseph and Mary,
strike up the band.

Oh, don't worry, everybody.
Doc will bring her back soon.

By one o'clock, doc was still not back.

Everyone began to wonder
where he was.

Then some fraternity boys
dropped by

and the rest is history.

- Party.
- Party?

Come on, let's go.

Ooh! Party time.

Come on, let's go. Hey! Hey!

All right, will you look at this guy.

They'll let anybody in this place.

Hey, buddy.
What are you charging here?

What do you mean?

Now it's a whorehouse, isn't it?

It's my friend doc's home.

- We're having a party.
- Eh, that's all right, buddy.

We'll settle for a party.

This affair looks like
it could use a little class.

Sure, come on in.

We love guys with class.

All right!

Hey!

Get that guy!

Take that, you little pansy!

All right. Now, come on. Come on!
Give me that. Give me that!

I got you now, you little punk!

Come back and fight!

Come back and fight like a man,
you little bookworms!

Around two o'clock,

the invaders were finally driven
from doc's place.

At 2:30, only Hazel and
the offensive right tackle

from monterey college were left.

But even they were wearing down.

You can only have so much fun.

Oh, no. Doc's gonna kill us.

By 2:45, the party was over.

Nobody wondered
where doc was anymore.

Did you do this?

Doc, uh, I and the boys...

Did you do this, mack?

Well, we didn't mea...

Get up!

Go ahead, doc.
I got... I got it coming.

You son of a bitch, mack.

You stupid son of a bitch!

Mack...

Go wipe off your face.

What happened?

W-we kept going with the party.

We thought you'd be back.
=I see.

It got out of hand.

It don't do no good
to say I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for most things I do.

It just got all screwed up.

W-we'll... we"ll fix up in here,
me and the boys, doc.

We'll pay for
the stuff that got broke.

No. I'll clean it up, mack.

I know where everything goes.

- No, w-we"ll pay for it, doc...
- No. No, you won't, mack.

You'll worry about it a long time,

but you won't pay for it.

There's over $300 worth
of broken museum glass here alone.

Don't say you'll pay for it.

That's just gonna make you feel uneasy.

And it might be two or three
years before you forgot about it

and felt good again.

Then you wouldn't pay for it anyway.

But we gotta do something.

Well, let's just forget about it.

I'm over it now.

Uh, mack...

Uh, you know that fella
I was fighting?

Yeah. = uh-huh.

Ah, he's a hell of a nice guy, mack.

And we ought to have him
over some night, huh?

- I'll get right on it, Hazel.
- Oh, okay.

- So long, doc.
- So long.

Uh, mack, uh, you still think
they're gonna want me for president?

I have no idea.

Uh, I don't think presidents

goes to parties like this...

Despite doc's professed forgiveness,

a black gloom
settled over the row.

Doc just holed up in his house,

biding time till
the spring tide started

and he could get some more octopi.

It didn't even cross his mind
to call Ellen sedgewick.

And then there was Suzy.

Using some money
she borrowed from fauna,

she bought 27 dollars-worth
of household furnishings

and building materials.

Mack.

When she moved all this stuff

into the hediondo cannery's
old boiler,

everybody assumed she was
just going to store it there.

Little did they know it was
going to become her home.

At first, no one expected her
fo stick it out.

But when it was learned
she'd talked to Ellen

into working at the golden Poppy
for tips and meals,

it became obvious
that she wasn't going back

to the bear flag.

Fauna pleaded with her
fo at least board at the flag

but Suzy was adamant.

You guys are looking at a fool.

I'm a reasonable man. 1q, 152.

University of Chicago.
A masters and phd.

What do you say?

Thank you.

Now, regard this man.

He's about to pay
a formal call on a girl

that lives in a boiler.

Has a half a pound
of chocolates for her,

which is a goddamn cornball approach
if there ever was one.

And he's scared stiff.

Why? I'll tell you why.

He's afraid she won't approve of him.

This girl that calls him names

and is ignorant of everything
he prides himself on.

Am?

Well, she probably thinks
that table she made is good.

I think it's mediocre, don't you?

Good. Good.

Even if I manage to win her over,

there's gonna be many times I regret it.

The only thing we have in common

is that we're both wrong
for each other.

But if I let her go...

I'll miss her... badly.

More than I'll ever regret it.

Oh. I can't listen to you guys anymore.

You know something?
You don't know your ass about romance.

You don't even have an ass.

Wish me luck.

Thank you.

- Who is it?
- It's I.

Ugh. Uh, me.

Something like that.

Hey, doc.

Oh, uh, I've got something
for you, Suzy.

Well, that's nice of you.
Hansen toffees, huh?

How'd you know
that's Hansen toffees?

'Cause I'm allergic to 'em.

Suzy, uh, this is a formal call.

I was hoping that you might,
uh, might ask me in.

Well, there ain't a lot
of room in here.

Oh, what the hell. Come on in.

You gotta... you...

Watch your tie. Yeah. = yeah.

All right.

Yeah.

It's a little hard to see at first.

Lemme put the lamp up. = yeah.

There.

There's this welder,
eats over at the Poppy.

As soon as he can,
he's gonna come here

and cut me some windows
in the side.

You've done a hell of a job.

Well, I'm still working on it.

The only problem is that

I don't know how I'm gonna get curtains up
on these windows.

You know anything that would
stick cloth to metal?

Duco's pretty good.
You might try that.

- Duco?
- Yeah.

Suzy...

I'm sorry about
what happened at the party.

No need to talk about it.
Wasn't your fault.

Yes, it was.

I wasn't ready for
what you were offering me.

Look, doc, I had myself
a good cry about it.

It's all done.

Anybody feeling sorry for me
is just wasting their time.

Well, I don't blame you
for rubbing my nose in it, now,

- but...
- What do you mean, doc?

You told me how it was,
and I was just too dumb to listen.

You're a free guy.
You got important stuff to do.

And you like what you got.

And you don't need nobody
around to spoil it.

Uh, yeah, that's kinda
what I said, but, uh,

I knew it wasn't quite the truth
even when I said it.

You were embarrassed.

You didn't wanna be associated
with somebody like me.

You're not gonna forgive me, are you?

Nothing to forgive.

I'm on my own now,

and it don't hurt me no more.

In fact, I-l think it probably helped me.

Okay.

I guess I better be going.

Yeah, I gotta get down to the Poppy.

Yeah.

- Doc?
- Yeah?

I know about the seer.

He was maxie baker,
the guy you hit, huh?

Yeah.

When I looked him up,
it said he was in a mental ward.

Yeah, he was,
but I had him released in my care.

He'd have never made it in there.

Got nothing to blame yourself for, doc.

It was just a lousy goddamn accident.

He would tell you
the same thing if he could.

It wasn't your fault,
none of it.

Well, maybe not.

But it'll always be my responsibility.

Nothing can change that,
not even his forgiveness.

Some debts you never can repay.

I'm sorry, Suzy.

So am I.

But what the hell,
you can't have everything.

Great, Suzy,
you sure set him straight.

When first condemned to it,

Hazel had rejected the presidency.

But the tragic cast
of recent events on the row

had made him reconsider.

Some sort of leadership
was obviously necessary.

He began his quest with Suzy.

Hi, Hazel. = hi.

All I got for you this late is coffee.

Uh, um, that's okay.
I-l don't want nothing.

Hazel?

What are you doing?

I-I'm just helping you clean up.

Say, um, what do you think
is the matter with doc?

How would I know?

Well, I... l gotta do something
to help him.

'Cause he's done everything
in the world for me.

Uh, once he was
character witness for me

and I ain't even got no character.

What do you want me for, Hazel? Hmm?

Well, um, could you go over
and sit with him?

No.

Uh, but I... l thought you liked him.

I like him, all right.

If he was in real trouble,
like if he was sick

or he had a busted arm,
I'd take him some soup.

Well... okay.

Uh... i-l gotta go
do some thinking.

- So long, haze.
- So long, Suzy.

- What happened, Hazel?
- Uh, I don't know, doc. Uh...

I-I found him floating out in the rocks.

He must've got sucked out
by the tide.

- It ain't no use, doc.
- No, he's gonna be all right!

- He's gone!
- He's gonna be all right!

- It ain't no use, doc.
- He's gonna be all right!

He's gone, doc.

Oh, god.

Oh, I know it.

Oh, goddamn it, I know it.

Doc, huh, doc,
you want me to carry him

to the sheriff's for you?

No. I wanna do it myself.

So long, maxie.

Doc, I'm sorry about
all this stuff that's happened.

Ah, it's okay.

And... and now, Suzy.

Uh, she won't have you unless...

Unless what?

Uh, oh, nothing. Uh...

Anything I can... I can do, doc?

No, Hazel.
I just need some sleep.

I was up late last night.

Uh, doc, could I ask you something, um,

before you go to sleep?

Uh, y-you've always given me
good advice before.

Sure, Hazel. What is it?

Well, now, s-suppose there's
this guy that's in trouble

and h-he can't get out of it.

Um, but he's got a friend

and maybe he don't know
about it.

- That's you?
- Huh, no, it ain't.

It's some other guy.

Uh, but s-suppose this friend
know a way

to get the guy out of trouble.

Y-you think he oughta do it?

Sure.

That's what friendship is for.

Uh, even if it might hurt like hell?

Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.

Uh, doc?

I... l remember the seer
told me something once.

Uh, it was something like

"if you're gonna be
a true friend to s-somebody

then y-you got to be ready
to do hard stuff for 'em.

And y-you gotta be ready
to do stuff

um, that he might not even
like you no more for doing.

Uh, y-you got to be ready,
uh, to... to kill a guy

uh, if he's in pain, uh, real bad."

You think that stuff right, doc?

Well, I-l appreciate your advice, doc.

And... and, uh, I-I'll be seeing you later.

No one knows
how greatness comes to a man,

but Hazel, after fighting it,
denying it,

cursing it, everything...

Finally accepted
his greatness as he had

the poisoned presidency
of the United States.

There was no longer any escape.

He knew, now, what he must do.

There's nothing I can do.

Spring tides or no spring tides

you're gonna have to wear this cast
at least two months.

Now, how in the hell am I gonna go
collecting specimens with one arm?

I don't know.

I'm still waiting to hear how
you did this in the first place.

I told you, I can't remember.

I just woke up
with a terrible pain in my arm.

And the last thing I remember, I...

I was going for mack
and the boys for help.

Suit yourself.

The tissue over that break is smashed.

Looks like you've been hit
with a club.

Excuse me, doc,
I-l gotta go see a guy.

Uh, Eddie will help you
get home all right.

Okay, mack.
Thanks for bringing me over.

Hit with a club?

Hazel! Hey, Hazel!

I... l just came from the hospital.

Doc's got a broke arm.

You know something about it,
don't you?

You gon... gonna be mad at me, mack?

No, Hazel, I promise.

I didn't have no choice, mack.

Suzy said,
she wouldn't go see him

unless he got sick or had a broke arm.

I tried, um, but I couldn't
figure out how to get him sick.

There was no other way.

You sure you ain't mad, mack?

Hell, no.

'Course, we... we don't know how
she'll work out but...

It's a step in the right direction.

Mack, I can't do her.

Fauna has gotta get somebody else
for President of the United States.

I tried and I practiced

but I just ain't got the boot.

I'd mess up the whole country.

Hazel, you sweet little bastard.

Oh, we'll get you off.
Don't you worry.

You done noble stuff.

Wasn't nobody with guts but you.

You just sit there and take it easy.

You got the ball to the one-yard line.

Old mack's gonna carry it in for you!

- Does it hurt much, doc?
- Oh, it hurts a little, Eddie.

You know, I wish I could
figure out how I did it.

I feel like a damn jerk.

Hm.

Excuse me, doc,
I gotta go do something.

Yeah.

I heard you were hurt.

I just thought I'd come over and see
if there was anything I could do.

Nah, it just has to stay in a cast

for a couple of months.

And it shoots the hell out of
spring tides, though.

I don't know what I'm gonna do
for octopi now.

Doc...

I'll go down to la jolla with you.

How come?

Just because I thought me
and you could have a nice time.

Are you kidding?

Turning over rocks that weigh
50 to a 100 pounds?

You just tell me what to do
and what to look for.

But don't make me keep asking you,
otherwise I'm gonna get sour on it.

All right, but I can't promise you
I'll be able to write the paper.

Even after we've knocked
ourselves out to get the octopi.

Doesn't make no difference to me.

As long as you want me to go,
I ain't gonna feel cheated.

Okay.

I'll go tell Ellen I'm leaving.

You come and get me
when you're ready.

Suzy.

I love you.

Really?

Let me see your eyes.

Really.

Surprise!

Doc, doc, before we get
the party going real good,

we all got something to give you.

Now, I remember once you said

you couldn't do your octopus paper

because you didn't have the right stuff.

So, on behalf of me and the boys
and all the folks that chipped in

it makes me happy as hell to present you

with your new microscope!

Beautiful.

You like it?
They're gonna bill us.

Why, it's beautiful, mack.

It's really... beautiful.

It's the biggest one
in the whole goddamn catalog.

So far we've got over
six bucks collected.

I wanna thank everybody.

Y'all been wonderful friends.

Well, come on, everybody,

what are we waiting for?

Let's get on with the party!

The party didn't slow down until dawn.

The crew of a San Pedro tuna boat

showed up about one and was routed.

The police came by at two
and stayed to join the party.

Mack used their squad car
to go get more wine.

A woman called the police
to complain about the noise

and couldn't get anybody.

The crew of the tuna boat
came back about three

and was welcomed with open arms.

The police reported
their own car stolen

ahd found it later on the beach.

Things were finally back
to normal in cannery row.

Once again the world was
spinning in greased grooves.