Candy Stripe Nurses (1974) - full transcript
A comedy following the exploits of three volunteer nurses, or 'candy stripers'. Marisa, who has been ordered to do volunteer work as a punishment for assaulting her teacher, falls for a young man who has been accused of knocking over a gas station, and does some investigating to try and clear his name. Sandy, on the other hand, has taken the job in order to be with her doctor boyfriend, but also takes up with a few of her handsomer patients as well before transferring to a sex clinic. Dianne, meanwhile, falls for a basketball player, whom she tries to talk into giving up drugs for good.
(upbeat rock music)
(funky rock beat)
- Excuse me, you're
Marisa Valdez aren't you?
I just happen to have an extra ticket to
the Owen Boles concert tonight.
I heard that everybody who's
anybody's gonna be there,
it's gonna be fantastic and
I have this extra ticket,
and I thought maybe if you
weren't doing anything.
You probably have a lot of homework to do,
you look like a very serious student.
That's okay, I'll just sell
the ticket or something,
that's okay.
Thanks a lot it was really
nice talking to you.
Have a really nice afternoon.
- Um, young lady.
Suppose you know it's strictly forbidden
to have a knife on campus.
Perhaps you'd like me to hold that for you
til after school.
- No thanks.
- Well maybe I better restate that.
I'll take the knife now.
- Don't count on it.
- It's a nice knife.
Where'd you steal it?
- You better give that back to me.
- Oh, a little wild cat huh?
Oh don't worry I'll leave it
in the principal's office.
Pick up there if you still want it.
(yells in surprise)
(people yelling encouragingly)
- Miss Valdez, we can't
go on meeting like this.
This is the third time
in the month you've been
hauled in here.
Not counting that little
stunt with the saran wrap
over the toilet bowls.
It's really such a pity.
Your teachers all tell me
that you're very bright.
That you could be a
straight A student except--
(frame smacks against floor)
(glass shattering)
Wish I could understand you.
Haven't you any desire
to lift yourself up?
To make something better of yourself?
- (sighs) What's the use?
You can't beat the system.
- I'll tell you what,
we're going to forget
this latest episode.
In return for which you're going to start
doing something constructive.
There's a volunteer program
over at the Oakwood Hospital.
Miss Valdez, you're going
to be a candy stripe nurse.
- [Voiceover] It's probably
Owen Bowl's last concert
this year and everyone is
gonna be there, I mean,
two or three of the Beatles
are gonna be there and,
word has it that Dylan's
gonna be sitting in.
- Don't you think that superstar
stuff is a little juvenile?
- Thursday nights I usually
go to the philharmonic
but I had these tickets
and I just figured that,
you know, you would wanna go.
- Get away from me.
- Sorry.
See ya in class.
- He should've asked me,
I'd go out with a two-headed
gorilla if he had tickets
to the Owen Boles concert.
- I don't know why, he
hasn't sang a note on key
since his first album.
- Who cares, if I wanted to hear him sing
I'd buy his records.
- Hey listen, when are
we gonna start trimming
the background for our dance concert?
- Tomorrow?
- I can't, I signed up to be
a candy striper at Oakwood.
- A candy striper?
Whatever for?
- Well, if I'm gonna be
a doctor I might as well
start getting some medical experience now.
(woman moaning)
- Did you hear something?
- Must be the air conditioning
again, you just can't
get anything fixed around here.
(repetitive whirring)
(woman moaning)
(upbeat rock music)
- Excuse me.
- What's the rush?
- I got a million things
to do before seven o'clock.
Oh you did remember by
math problems didn't you?
- Sure.
Uh look we can go to a later movie.
- Um.
Wally that's just the surprise
I was gonna tell you about.
We're not gonna go to the show tonight.
- Oh.
Okay.
Go on.
- Well this guy was just
sitting on the ground
just pounding his head
into the grass, you know?
So I went over you know I
asked him, are you okay,
and he just started cracking
up, I mean really laughing.
Well anyway to make a long
story short he told me
that I was the nicest
person that he had talked to
all day and gave me two
tickets absolutely free,
now isn't that unbelievable?
- Wait a minute, just tickets?
Or tickets to something?
- More like tickets to something.
- Aha, okay.
- Wally, I don't think you're
gonna like this too much.
- The Owen Boles concert
- That's right now there's
no use arguing with me,
I'm going whether or not
you wanna take me because
there are plenty of other fish in the sea,
like Dr. Post for instance.
- If it were wearing pants
you'd think a stingray was cute.
- Oh that's ridiculous.
Hey yeah now I'm gonna go
are you gonna pick me up
at seven or aren't you?
- Yeah, yeah.
I may be a little late though.
Have to stop down at surgery first.
Have my ears impacted.
Oh, here.
Don't forget your homework.
By the way, I couldn't
do the last problem.
- Aw that's okay cause
the last time you did
it for me I forgot to
put it in my own writing
and that teacher's been
suspicious ever since.
Thanks.
- Hold on!
Let me make sure the coast is clear first.
Okay.
(upbeat rock music)
- Boy you really look a mess.
- Yeah well you know I just finished up
with a patient operation.
- What'd you do, remove an
appendix from your pillow case?
- You know I was going to but
it didn't have Blue Cross.
- [Voiceover] It's new,
it's from Owen Boles and
it's all for you.
♫ Well I'm the big old wolf
♫ So you better beware of me babe
♫ I'll take a big old lick
♫ All the little chickens'll sing, yeah
- [Voiceover] About ten more pounds.
- You don't need to, I
have been on this diet
for the last six weeks
- Hi Mom
- Sandy, say hello to your Aunt Edna
- Hi Aunt Edna, listen
I'm gonna go out later
so I wanna get to work on
my homework right away.
- Well that girl of yours has turned into
quite a little woman.
- Yes, she amazes me sometimes.
I don't know where she
gets all her energy,
top grades at school, she's
president of the social club,
and somehow she still finds
time to do volunteer work
as a candy striper at the hospital.
All I can see, it's nice
to see that young people
today still want to do
their part for humanity.
(upbeat rock music)
- Hey does anybody know what time it is?
- [Voiceover] Six o'clock.
(funky rock beat)
- Hey brother, you got a light?
- Here.
- It's no good man.
That's what going into
business will take care of.
I like your bike man, that
thing's just too much.
(glass breaking)
Too much, too much.
Oughta be a law against locking bathrooms.
Hey man I need the key to the bathroom.
- You think I run a free service here?
- Alright let's have a deal
here I'll do it here by the door
- Okay, okay just a second.
- Don't move or I'll blow your ass off.
- You bastard you won't
get away with this.
- Why do you wanna make
a coward out of you.
Turn around.
(cash register dings)
- Mind if I.
- Get down.
- Go!
(gun firing)
(gun fires)
(brakes squealing)
(gun firing)
(groans in pain)
(police sirens blaring)
(funky rock beat)
(voices talking on police radio)
- Well at least I got one of them.
- He oughta be outa
commission for a while.
- How does it feel punk?
- Man have I got to take a piss.
(ambulance creaks)
- I'm supposed to ask
if you want any juice.
- Well?
- Well, do you want any juice?
- No.
- Good.
- Wait a minute.
What kind of juice do you have?
- Yellow and orange.
- What's the yellow?
- I don't know, just a minute.
Just yellow, you want it?
- No.
- Okay.
- Scratch my back?
- Just what is that supposed to mean?
- I mean I want you to scratch my back,
I'm injured, I can't reach.
- Okay, where?
- Right here.
- Mhm, just as I figured,
you can reach it yourself.
So why don't you scratch it?
- Cause you're prettier.
- That's for sure.
- Come on, I'm in pain, I'm a patient.
- Okay, okay.
- That's good.
How 'bout a little lower huh?
- Don't got to work on freebies.
- Listen anytime I can return a favor.
- Okay that's enough.
Hey what's that?
- It's to keep me from falling out of bed.
I toss in my sleep a lot.
- Wait a minute, I heard about you,
you're the guy who stuck up
the gas station, excuse me.
- In case you're interested, I'm innocent.
- Sure and I'm Jackie Onassis,
drop by the yacht sometime.
- [Voiceover] Doctor
Stewart, Doctor John Stewart.
Doctor Wilson
- Excuse me, can you direct
me to the Arnholdt Research
Institute for Reproductive
and Non-procreative Function?
- Huh?
Oh, you mean the sex clinic.
Through there and to your left.
- Thank you.
(laughing)
- Okay I finished that
side, what would you
like me to do now?
- Well you could do the other side.
- Why didn't I think of that.
- Isn't there anything
more interesting to do
than deliver newspapers?
(telephone ringing)
- Excuse me.
Uh-huh.
Looks like your friend
in 317 is bored again.
- Billy?
Poor kid, I'll go see what he wants.
- Now she's got the right idea.
Talk to your patients,
try to cheer them up.
- May I have Mrs. Rogers' chart please.
- Oh yes Doctor, here it is.
- Oh, thank you.
- Excuse me.
- Yes?
- Are you making rounds?
- Yes, I am.
- I was just wondering,
no, I couldn't ask that.
- [Doctor] No, please go ahead.
- You see, I intend to be a doctor myself,
and I thought maybe I could
tag along and observe?
- [Doctor] Why of course
you're more than welcome.
- I realize I'm just a candy striper.
- Now don't put yourself down,
candy stripers perform
a very valuable service.
- I promise I won't ask too many questions
or be too much trouble.
- Trouble? (laughing)
Don't be silly.
- Excuse me young lady, I didn't realize
this was your patient.
- Well it just seems to
me with a fever rising
so rapidly you shouldn't put
off the operation any longer.
Here, look at the chart.
- Perhaps you'd like to
do the operation yourself.
- No of course not.
But I would like to assist
you if you don't mind.
- [Voiceover] And they
tried to tell me hospital
service was deteriorating?
- Well it helps if you
know the right people.
- Don't go away now.
(knocking on door)
- Remember if you never learn
another thing in your career
always diagnose from
the symptoms and trust
your own judgment.
- [Dianne] Doctor
- [Doctor] Please no talking,
you promised.
How are you feeling my dear?
- I'm afraid I'm a little
tired today Doctor.
- Slight fatigue.
Accelerated pulse.
Bit of fever I imagine.
Sweaty palms, flushed complexion.
It's a classic case of hyperthyroidism.
(toilet flushing)
Who are you?
- Uh, Bill Stearn sir, pleased to meet ya.
- Then you're.
Of course.
What else.
- Excuse me Doctor Wilson
they're asking for you
down in emergency.
(metal clattering on floor)
(man yelling)
(instruments clattering on floor)
(man yelling)
- Why are you doing this to me?
Call the off, stop them!
(Dianne screams)
- Let's take some blood for a CBC and give
that man a drug screen.
In fact, we might as well send down a clot
for type and hold.
You never know when these cases
will turn shocking on you.
- Okay.
- Wilson.
- Oh Dr. Krause well it
looks like your star athlete
has run amok.
- He took a very bad
elbow to the head today.
- Possible concussion, I'll see who's on
neurosurgery tonight.
- Uh frankly.
He's always been a little
shall we say unstable.
These kids can get awfully
keyed up out there.
- Well we'll just keep him
here overnight for observation
if that's alright with you.
- Oh.
Sure.
And I don't think we'll
really need to bother
with all those blood tests.
- Probably not but what
the hell, it never hurts
to play it safe.
- Whatever you say, now if
you'll excuse me Doctor.
Now if you folks don't mind I'd like to be
alone with my patient.
Nurse please, I'll take care of that.
You too, out.
- I don't know what he's so touchy about.
Blood tests are supposed
to be my responsibility.
Good looking, isn't he?
- I wouldn't know, he's not my type.
I guess you'll be getting
out this afternoon.
- Yeah, listen I hope I didn't
scare you too much yesterday.
- You sure were crazy,
what happened anyway?
- Nothing much, just got a
little carried away I guess.
- Have you ever taken a lot of acid?
You know sometimes
that'll flashback on you
when you least expect it.
- What is this, junior doctor time?
- Sorry.
Well I guess I better see if
anyone else wants one of these.
Good luck with your whatevers.
- Playoffs.
Been real nice talking to ya.
- Could I ask you something?
- Sure, fire away.
- When you're playing
basketball do you ever consider
the aesthetic element of your movements?
- Uh.
Well I'd say, uh.
Huh?
- Do you ever see yourself as a dancer,
and basketball's a kind of dance?
- No.
- That's too bad, because you
see to me the conventional
distinction between
competitive athletics and more
classically aesthetics
of elimination and the
bitterness energy.
(sneakers squeaking on court)
- Gallagher, get over here.
What the hell's the matter
with you you're moving
like freight train out there.
- I don't know what's wrong with me coach.
- You feel alright?
- Eh.
- Listen, just take it
easy I want you in shape
for that game, go ahead, get in there.
- You really were moving
beautifully out there.
- (scoffs) It's a good thing
you don't know anything
about basketball.
- Well anyway thanks again
for letting me watch.
I guess I'll be running along.
- Wait a minute, what's the rush?
- Well I have all the footage I need and
I really should be getting
- Stick around.
Let's talk about this project of yours.
There's some things I'd like to find out.
- Are you sure we're
allowed to be in here?
- I'm on the team, I
get special privileges.
- I mean, it seems awfully deserted.
- So you like the way I move.
- I really don't think
you understand the concept
I'm working on.
- Oh I understand.
- Listen, it's getting
late and I'm really gonna
have to be going.
What are you doing?
- Look, we both know why you came here.
- I'm leaving and don't
you try and stop me.
- Stop this fooling around.
We're only wasting time.
- You know, I really feel sorry for you.
- Yeah I thought you were leaving.
- In a minute.
First I just think it's
about time someone told you
- That does it.
(laughing)
- Don't come any closer.
I took karate lessons.
- How many?
- Three.
- I think I'll risk it.
- You know, you're not remotely my type.
- Well what is your type?
- More refined and intellectual.
- The kind who speaks
French and smokes a pipe.
- Don't be ridiculous.
- And drinks sherry with
his pinky in the air.
- Not quite.
- Then what's wrong with me?
- I don't know, you're just such a jock.
- You'll pay for that.
- Wake up.
I've gotta go home.
- Yeah sure, let me know
when we get to Bakersfield.
- Uh hey, maybe it's
none of my business but,
isn't that IV line supposed
to go into your arm?
- That's right.
It's none of your business.
- Well don't you wanna get better?
- Why so I can go to jail sooner?
- You're not really innocent are you?
- What do you care?
- I don't, I just thought that, well,
- Look you wouldn't understand.
What's the use?
You can't beat the system.
- Your handcuffs, what happened?
- A lawyer came.
A public defender.
He arranged bail.
- Well maybe he can get you off I mean
if you're really innocent.
- Doesn't matter anyway.
I still have to cop a plea.
- But why?
- Because I don't have any evidence.
The gas station attendant,
he thinks I was in on it.
The only other witness can't be found.
- But if you didn't do it.
- Doesn't matter it's all gambling.
If I plead innocent and lose,
I can get ten years in jail.
- Ten years?
- [Carlos] Ten years.
- But that isn't fair.
- Tell that to the judge.
- Well what about the witness.
- What about him, I don't know who he is,
I don't know where he lives.
- Do you remember anything at all?
- [Carlos] I can't remember too much.
He had this bike, this motorcycle.
Fancy, customized gas tank.
Rainbow colors, blue, yellow.
(funky rock beat)
- Excuse me, wonder if you could help me.
- You wonder, I don't
think there's any doubt
about that baby.
- Have you ever customized a
motorcycle to look like that?
- No I don't think I have.
- Hey Louie ain't you gonna introduce me
to this beautiful dish?
- Nah I don't think so.
- You know, uh.
I was looking at your car
out there I couldn't help
noticing how much oil that was dripping.
I hate to be the one that
tells you bad news but,
I'm afraid you need a new head gasket.
See once the oil gets in with the water,
it'll overheat and could
cause the block to crack.
Most places get a hundred
dollars for a job like that.
Alright, alright, 50.
But that's my rock bottom price.
- You think cause I'm
a girl you can get away
with anything you like.
I got news for you.
I don't have 50 dollars.
I don't even have five dollars.
But if I had five dollars
you know what I'd do?
I'd go out there and get me a good pair of
needle nose pliers, see, and
then you know what I'd do,
I'd take those pliers
see, I'd use them to pluck
your eyes out with them.
Then you know what I'd
do, I'd take those pliers
and turn the oil point
on my engine which is the
only goddamn thing wrong with that car.
(laughing)
- Women huh?
- Look, you're his only
hope, how can you be so sure
he was in on it?
- He had to be, he was right there.
- But it could have been a coincidence.
- Look I know the type I
spotted him for no good
the minute I spotted him.
- How can you say that?
- Now don't you yell at me,
it just so happens that I've
owned this station for more
years than you've been alive
and I've watched this neighborhood
go from a nice, quiet,
decent place to a God forsaken slum.
And all those years I survived
and you wanna know how?
Because I know these people
and when he walked in there
I could feel it like a
rat down in my bones.
Let's face it kiddo, you're all alike.
(fist thuds against skin)
You're all alike!
(low key rock beat)
- Aw.
The way my eyes looked you'd think I was
partying every night.
- Have you been?
- No, no it's the smog,
haven't you noticed?
- No I haven't.
- It's getting worse all the time.
- So, this where you girls hide out.
Doctor Kramer just called
from the sex clinic,
the receptionist had to
go home early today so,
would one of you like to fill in?
- Yeah, could be interesting.
(telephone ringing)
Are you serious, with a duck?
Three ducks?
Yeah but how do you?
No, well in that case who?
No.
Well who would do it?
Your sister?
With scotch tape?
Well wait a minute I thought
that you said your husband.
Oh pictures.
Oh yes well I'm sure they are but,
no I really wouldn't know about that.
Yes, suit yourself.
Kay, bye.
- Well, we're making excellent progress,
I wouldn't be at all
surprised if by tomorrow
you're up to step four.
- Oh we'll try our best Dr. Kramer.
- Good just don't get
too carried away now.
- Oh don't worry we won't.
- Alright I'll see you tomorrow then.
- Okay Doctor Kramer, come on Carl.
- [Carl] Bye Doctor
- [Dr. Kramer] Bye.
Ah excuse me, Miss uh?
- Sandy
- [Dr. Kramer] Sandy.
I'm expecting a new
patient momentarily so just
buzz me in my office as
soon as he gets here.
- Okay.
- [Voiceover] Your attention
please, beginning today,
all automobiles that do
not display the new yellow
parking permit will be
immediately towed upon
- Is this the Arnholdt
Institute of whatever?
- Yes.
- [Man] Good, you do
have a Dr. Kramer here.
- [Sandy] Yes.
- [Man] Good then would
you tell Dr. Kramer that
Owen Boles is here to see him?
- Sure I'll ring him for you.
You know that's funny I coulda
sworn that you just said.
Uh Dr. Kramer?
- Get me out of here,
who's idea was this anyway?
- Owen Boles is here to see you.
- Owen baby you know
we've got to be careful,
a thing like this could ruin us.
The papers, I'd kill myself.
Not before I kill you.
- Oh you don't have to worry about me.
- [Man] Ah, Dr. Kramer.
- Yes, Mr. Boles?
- No, Freddie Guillette,
his personal manager.
That's the boy back there.
- Alright Mr. Boles why don't
you step in here please.
- Hi, I'm April.
- I'm not.
- It's customary for me to
interview the patient alone.
- Dr. Kramer you don't seem to understand.
I'm his personal manager, Owen never does
anything without me.
- Anything?
- [Freddie] Anything.
- I'll be perfectly frank with you doctor,
what we face now is nothing
less than a national disaster.
- Oh now really I don't think it's useful
to exaggerate matters.
- Do I look like the
kind of person who would
exaggerate matters?
I have never been more serious in my life.
The young people of this
country are dependent
on Owen Boles, they
need him, they love him.
Why without him they would be bankrupt.
Spiritually speaking of course.
- [Dr. Kramer] Perhaps but
- And yet, and yet the man
you see before you now is
nothing more than a
shell of his former self.
He hasn't written a new song in months.
His performances are as dead as the twist.
Doc, I'll give it to you in two words.
No energy.
- Look, this clinic deals
specifically in sexual problems.
- Doc, look at me, come here, look at me.
Goose eggs.
- Goose eggs?
- Goose eggs, wipe out, zilch, nothing.
Just ask yin and yang.
- In other words you're
telling me there's an apparent
sexual dysfunction.
- [Freddie] Not in other words, that's it.
He can't do it anymore, or he won't.
You figure it out.
- Hey, I'm hungry, anything
to eat around here?
Oh thank you.
- Doc, what do you think,
now I don't wanna rush you
but frankly speaking I
don't know how much longer
he can hang on, he is sinking fast.
In a couple of months he's gonna be off
the charts altogether.
- Well you know here at the
institute we've uncovered
research which proves there's
a definite correlation
between impotence and the abuse of drugs.
- Drugs?
- I was just bringing
you a glass of water?
- You have the glass upside down.
- No wonder the water wouldn't stay in it.
- So everything is settled Dr. Kramer.
You'll send over the
potnotherapist as you call it
this afternoon, you have the address.
- You don't let him do
much talking do you?
- Would you let Isaac Stern
use his violin as a shoe horn?
(April giggling)
Listen to her, she doesn't
even know what a shoe horn is.
- Hey, is it true that you
have a machine that does it?
- No, no, that's another place.
- Drugs?
- Uh, Miss?
Sandy?
I want you to call Jane Ellington,
her number's in the address file.
You have her go over to Owen Boles' house
at this time.
Here is his address.
(upbeat rock music)
- Yes, is this Jane Ellington?
Yes, I'm calling for Dr.
Kramer to tell you that
he doesn't need you today.
Right I'm sure he'll call you tomorrow,
uh-huh, goodbye.
♫ Mister opportunity's not gonna come
♫ Knockin' upon you door of life they say
♫ Hear what I say
♫ Mister opportunity is back on the run
♫ He's speeding along past
the door of life they say
♫ Hear what I say, better grab of him
♫ Tackle him, lock him
up, although it's for free
♫ It's a chance of a lifetime mama
♫ You better not blow it
♫ Cause it's your chance
of a lifetime mama
♫ Better not blow it
♫ Mister opportunity is laughing at you
♫ For sitting alone with
nothing to do everyday
♫ Hear what I say, I got the
notion he's around the bend
♫ Hopin' for you to let him in today
♫ Hear what I say you'd better grab him
♫ Tackle him, lock him,
although it's for free
♫ Cause it's a chance of a lifetime mama
♫ You'd better not blow it
♫ Cause it's a chance of a lifetime mama
♫ You'd better not blow it
♫ Cause it's a chance of a lifetime mama
♫ You'd better not blow it ♫
- Hey Sandy.
Take a look at my new bike.
- Yeah sure Wally look, I
really got a lot to do today,
I'm in a hurry.
- What, I thought we were
gonna go to the movies.
- Oh wow, I completely forgot,
how 'bout tomorrow night?
- [Wally] You know that
I'm working tomorrow night.
- Well I'll call you sometime.
- What the hell does that mean?
- Hey you two, no necking
in the parking lot.
- [Sandy] Wally, we'd better
stop seeing each other.
(delicate piano playing)
- [Dianne] It symbolizes man's
attempts to come to grips
with the demonic inside himself.
- [Cliff] I wouldn't mind
coming to grips with that one.
- [Dianne] You're intolerable.
- [Cliff] So's this concert,
let's get outta here.
- [Dianne] Okay I'll admit it's graceful,
but does it have any
substance, any meaning?
- [Cliff] Meaning, well sure
it uh, symbolizes flight.
Man's eternal quest for
- [Dianne] Wait a minute,
you can't symbolize flight,
it is flight.
- [Cliff] Oh well, in that
case it symbolizes uh.
- [Dianne] Come on, I wanna hear this.
- [Cliff] Uh.
Symbolizes sex.
- [Dianne] You're right.
- [Cliff] I am?
- [Dianne] No, but I like your attitude.
- [Cliff] Can't miss it,
it's in a brown bottle.
Just bring three or four.
You find it alright?
- [Dianne] I refuse to
encourage the use of drugs.
- [Cliff] Hell, amphetamines aren't drugs,
they're essential nutrients.
Ah!
- Well, we'd better get back to work.
- It's a little ridiculous.
High school girl writing a term
paper for a college senior.
- You wanna graduate don't you?
- I haven't got enough units anyway.
- I thought all you jocks
took special courses like
advanced towel snapping or
the history of crotch rash.
- Yeah I got A's in both of those.
Unfortunately I let a
girl talk me into majoring
in psychology last year.
A month later we broke up and I was stuck
with a major I couldn't even spell.
Besides, practices take
up most of my time.
- Oh no, what time is it?
9:30, Jesus.
I forgot to call home.
I'm sorry I forgot to call.
We were, well you know.
She's worried about me riding home so late
and asked if it would be alright for me to
spend the night here.
- Sure.
- Yeah it's okay.
Alright, bye.
- That was your mother.
- Yeah.
You'll have to meet her sometime.
- Uh-huh.
(upbeat rock music)
- I'm sorry I've kept
you waiting I was out by
the swimming pool.
You, I thought you were the receptionist.
- I was, oh I mean I was just
filling in I'm definitely
a registered therapist.
- Oh but then I presume
Dr. Kramer has briefed you.
- Oh yes, we talked for hours.
- Miss I must warn you this
is not going to be easy.
- That's okay, I'm
handled to train anything.
- Owen, this is miss?
- Bates
- [Freddie] Miss Bates would
you sit down please.
Can I get you anything to drink?
- Oh, no, no thanks.
- Can we eat now?
- Hey Cookie.
Miss Bates, would you like a
steak, what would you like?
You want a steak?
- Oh nothing, no, thanks.
- How 'bout chicken, chicken?
We got chicken, you want
chicken, you don't want chicken.
Cookie what else do we have in there.
Lobster, we have lobster,
you want lobster,
you don't want lobster.
We have any shrimp, we
don't have any shrimp.
Fish, do we have any fresh fish?
- I want shrimp.
- We don't have any shrimp.
- I want shrimp.
- Shrimp.
He wants shrimp.
It's a mad house that's what it is.
And I put up with it, I put up with it.
I run it.
- You know that you are
my all time favorite,
I mean I've got every single
album that you've ever made.
- Most people do.
- No I mean it, you're really great.
- I know.
- God you must lead an
incredible life huh?
- Yeah, incredible.
- Um.
Mr. Boles would you mind if I
asked you a personal question?
Do you find me attractive?
- What's personal about that?
- Well you don't find me repulsive do you?
- I hadn't thought about it.
- Well actually, well I meant,
well I was wondering if.
- Have you finished?
- Now what is the matter
with you don't you
ever get turned on?
- It's too much trouble.
- Such a child.
You and your bunny, you make a great team.
- Baby Bunny's sick today.
- Oh God.
- I'm a witch, but don't worry I like you.
- Jesus Christ, what the
hell's going on out here,
I thought I told you girls to stay out
- It's April's fault she said we could.
- Zouzou's lying, it was her idea
- I don't care, let's go girls, out.
No, out, no.
- But I promise
- But nothing you, you
think you have anything
like you wanna, out, no, out!
I promise you'll be left alone now.
- That won't be necessary I'm leaving too.
I can't stand it anymore, pretending to be
interested in that jellyfish.
I mean God to think that I kissed you,
makes my skin crawl, where can
a girl throw up around here?
- Stop.
Where are you going, this is
outrageous, you can't do this.
- Now do you see this, this is a real man.
Passion, fire, virility.
Call me up sometime, huh?
- She's crazy.
She doesn't know what she's saying.
- Hey bitch, you come back here.
You come back here now.
Come back here, you don't leave,
Freddie bring her back!
Freddie!
Freddie, do something!
Freddie!
Freddie!
Freddie!
- What do you want with this guy anyway?
- I got to find him,
he was the only witness
to a gas station hold up.
- Is that true, a hold up?
- Yeah, on Broadbury, and
if I don't find him by
this afternoon the wrong guy's
gonna go to prison for it.
- Well, I sure wish I could help ya.
Good luck.
- Thanks.
- Oh miss?
It's just a thought but uh,
there's a little paint shop
about a mile down the road, Ernie's.
You might try there, he
sometimes does that kinda work.
- Thanks
- [Mechanic] Alright.
(funky rock beat)
Say uh, did you make up your
mind about that paint job?
- I'll have to come back for it later.
- R. Garcia, does he work here?
- Oh, you mean Ray.
- Ray Garcia, is that it?
- Ray is in some kind of trouble?
- No, no, I just gotta
find him, somebody told me
he works here.
- He used to but that's
several months ago.
Last time I talked to him
he said something about
working at a junk yard.
- Do you remember the name of it?
- I don't know.
Bob and Jess's I think.
- Bob and Jess's.
- Jess and Bob.
Down there along fourth.
- Thank you.
- Excuse me honey.
I couldn't help overhearing
you're looking for
my old buddy Ray Garcia.
- You know Ray Garcia?
- Do I know Ray Garcia.
Ray Garcia and I are tight like this.
But I gotta tell you he don't work at
Bob and Jess's no more, they fired him.
I'll tell you where to
look thought it's a place
called Las Palomas
- I've seen it
- He hangs out there a lot.
- Thanks.
- Oh if Ray isn't there, you
ask for Eddie in the kitchen.
He'll know where Ray is.
- Eddie, yeah, thanks a lot.
- Pleasure's all mine.
(funky, upbeat rock music)
(brakes screeching)
Give me Eddie.
- Are you Eddie?
- Maybe.
- Can you tell me where
to find Ray Garcia?
- Maybe.
- I gotta find him today, it's urgent.
- Uh-huh.
- Look.
Can't you see I'm in a hurry?
- You like enchiladas?
I know how to make 'em real good.
Most people don't know
how to make an enchilada.
They think you just throw
together a few things,
a little beef, a little
cheese, some onions,
and bueno, enchilada.
No way, baby.
You gotta know how to do it.
And dig this, you gotta
know the secret ingredient.
- Do you know where Ray is or don't you?
- As I was saying, you gotta
know the secret ingredient.
Watch.
Fat.
Most people tell you
fat's no good for you.
But that's their opinion.
If you ask me a thing ain't worth eating
unless it's got some fat on it.
How 'bout you, you like fat?
- Get back, you gonna
tell me or aren't you?
- Hey, hey, take it easy.
Maybe we can work something out.
How much is it worth to you?
- Are you crazy, I don't have any money.
- You do have certain negotiable
properties shall we say?
Okay, let's go.
(laughing)
So you're looking for a witness eh?
Too bad you don't have one now.
Cause he'd really have something to see.
- You filthy pig.
- Oh sorry.
(laughing)
A little skinny.
But you'll do, lie down.
- Okay mister, you wanted to do it?
Let's do it.
Only one thing.
This better be good.
What's the matter, having trouble?
Romance gone out of it?
Father's all done?
Alright, get up.
Where do you think you're going?
- You're crazy!
- Stop, stop right there.
Damn.
(upbeat rock music)
You're Ray Garcia right?
- Uh-huh.
- And you witnessed a gas
station hold up this week right?
- Uh-huh.
- And you remember a guy
in a light green shirt
who asked you for a cigarette?
- Uh-huh.
- Boy am I glad to see you.
Listen, are you willing
to testify in court
that that guy had nothing
to do with the hold up?
- No.
- No, why not?
- Because it would be a lie.
The guy in the light green
shirt was the leader,
he was the one who walked in first.
- But wait a minute, you don't understand,
that was just a coincidence.
- No I saw it myself.
He was the leader.
- No you're just guessing you're not sure.
- I saw it.
He had a gun.
- A gun, no it can't be.
- He shot the attendant.
- No!
- Shot him in cold blood.
- No!
(upbeat rock music)
(cloth tearing)
- You know you're a pretty good actor.
- Well I had the proper motivation.
- You've done okay so far.
Now get down on the ground and stay there.
Remember, that mouth stays
shut real tight, see.
Cause if you try any funny
stuff I'll make wallpaper
out of your brains,
assuming you've got any.
Okay yoyo, hang it up.
Looks you don't learn too fast.
- Just gonna
- [Ray] Order in a pizza yeah,
I know come on.
We're closin' early
today so you can't take
your private lessons.
Oh.
And while we're locking the gate,
you might be thinking about which leg
you want broken first.
- [Voiceover] Say I need a VW fender.
- Oh well we ain't got any.
- Sure you do, there's a
whole bunch right over there.
- Oh well ain't that too bad cause we're
closing early today.
- Hey, what the hell, we've
got time for one more customer.
- Okay babe, whatever you
say but I better come along,
I know how accident
prone you are, let's go.
- Marisa.
What happened?
What's wrong?
- I got something for you.
There, that's what you wanted?
The name of the witness
at the gas station?
The witness who saw you
shoot the attendant?
- Wait, he couldn't have
said that, he's a liar,
he's a damn liar.
- Yeah, the world is full of liars.
- Hey, what is this?
What's the matter?
(sobbing)
What's happened?
What's the matter dear, what's
happened, what's the matter?
Tell me, what's the matter?
What's happened dear?
- Nothing.
- Oh come on, you can tell me.
I'm an old hag, what happened honey,
what's the matter?
Oh.
Honey do you know that your dress is torn?
What happened?
- Yes I know, I caught it in a fender.
Oh my god.
(upbeat rock music)
Call the police!
Quick, tell them to this address.
- Come on jive ass,
and no more cute tricks
or you're gonna be real
sorry and real dead.
Sit down by the wall, jive.
- If this is too tight let me know,
so I can make it tighter (laughing)
- [Ray] See you later (laughing)
- Gimme that.
- Go ahead man.
Have it your own way, jive.
- Miss?
- [Eddie] So long pals,
I'm gonna miss you guys.
(gun fires)
(gun fires)
- Oh Jesus Christ!
(bullets ricocheting)
("William Tell Overture" by Rossini)
- Dr. Wilson, how are things going?
- Okay.
- Do you have a second?
- Well actually
- You see I wanted to ask
you about that incident
in the emergency room the other day.
The basketball player?
- Oh.
Yes.
- I was just wondering what
could cause a fit like that.
- Why do you ask?
- No reason, just curious.
- Well, to tell you the
truth, you can't always tell.
It could be drugs, though
in this case the tests
were negative, or it
could be a concussion.
- Hm, okay thank you.
- That's all?
- See you later.
- First class transportation
and reasonable pension
shall be made to all actors
on tours and personal
appearances, we usually
should offer it make sure
that actors are, hold on, just a minute.
Hold on.
What are you doing here?
- I left my purse.
- I spoke with Dr. Kramer
about you yesterday,
he was very upset.
- Where's the emperor?
- Downstairs.
Hey but you can't go down there.
(upbeat rock music)
- Seems to me that I left my purse here.
- Oh, so you've come back to apologize.
- Apologize, apologize for what?
- What you said about
me, about my records.
- Records, that's odd, I've never even
heard any of your records before.
Unless you know by chance
in an elevator or something.
Say you didn't see my
purse in here have you?
- Purse, no.
- Well I was sitting right here.
Could you move over a little, thank you.
Damn it, where is it?
- By the way, I'm seriously
considering letting you
make love to me.
- The pool, did I have
it with my by the pool?
- Do you know most women
find my irresistible?
- Well there's no accounting
for taste now is there?
- Would you believe I get out 50 pounds
of mail every week?
- It must be comforting
to know at least some of
your fans are old enough to write.
- I can't go out in public
without being attacked
by teenage girls.
- And does your music have
that effect on dogs too?
- Bitch.
- Let go of me you're hurting.
- Bitch you aren't going
anywhere til I say so.
Listen here girl, no one walks
out on Owen Boles, no one.
- You really are a sick one aren't you?
- Yes I am.
- Hooray, hooray!
(grunting)
- Do it Owen, do it!
- Look at him do it, look
at him take her, look!
(grunting and yelling)
- What the hell is going on, Owen!
Owen stop, Owen stop please, Owen!
Owen, think of the legal consequences!
Owen, she could be underage!
It's gonna ruin us.
(panting heavily)
- You know this is funny.
I came here today with
only one thing in mind.
I wanted to say that I
Sandy Bates had slept
with the famous Owen
Boles and now here you are
begging for me and I wouldn't touch you if
you were the last man on earth.
You're the most disgusting (yelps)
- Oh you're gorgeous.
(grunting and struggling)
(moaning)
- [Girls] Owen, Owen, Owen!
- [Owen] Oh you're gorgeous.
(grunting and moaning)
- Look, I cured him.
- Where does it go from here?
- I don't know 'bout you but I'm going
to a basketball game.
(cheerleaders cheering)
- God, where have you been?
- Don't even ask.
(sneakers squeaking on court)
(crowd yelling)
(announcer on intercom)
How's your friend doing out there?
- He's looking pretty good.
- [Voiceover] Hey
Gallagher, open your eyes!
(crowd yelling)
- Even the streakers
move better than that.
Hey Gallagher, your mother blows goats!
(laughing)
- Gallagher, get outta there.
- I'm trying to get that
zombie outta the game.
Hey Gallagher, kiss my
charlie (blows raspberry)
(laughing)
- Sorry, it slipped.
- [Voiceover] Into the
lineup for the Matadors,
number 21, Sam Jefferson.
Basket number 13, Steve Wilts.
(cheerleaders cheering)
(buzzer ringing)
- Hey, Doc.
Come here.
Where's your bag, I'm really wiped out.
- Oh you know where it is.
Hey.
Didn't I give you a
couple of those already?
- Yeah but it didn't help.
- Well just take it easy,
those things are not
aspirin you know.
- Yeah sure.
- [Voiceover] Your attention
please, contestants for
tonight's battle to grenade
lookalike contest are reminded
to register at the Sawyer's
table as soon as possible.
And don't forget ladies
and gentlemen although
Jennifer Titwell will not
be crowned homecoming queen
tonight the dance in her honor
will be held on schedule,
immediately preceding the
game, correction that's
immediately following the game.
- [Crowd] Go Matadors, go!
- Hey Cliff, come on!
Come on Cliff!
(crowd erupts in cheers)
(crowd cheering)
- How do you like him now?
(crowd applauding)
(crowd cheering)
- [Voiceover] Basket Matadors!
(crowd cheers)
Basket Matadors
they trail by three.
(crowd cheers)
Basket Gallagher trail by one!
(people yelling)
(crowd cheers)
- Basket, Gallagher he did it!
(buzzer rings)
- We won, we won!
- [Voiceover] Gallagher did it, holy shit!
(crowd applauding)
- Come on let's get outta here.
- Stick around, Cliff'll
take us out to celebrate.
- Nah I dunno.
- Oh come on, it'll be fun.
- Yahoo!
- [Sandy] Will you slow down?
- [Dianne] Cliff, please!
(tires screeching)
- [Sandy] God, what's wrong with you?
- [Cliff] Nothing wrong
with me, I'm flying!
Never fear girls, you're riding with the
A number one greatest of
all time, of all time,
of all time.
- [Dianne] Cliff slow down
- [Sandy] You're crazy you're gonna
- [Cliff] Watch this one girls he rides,
he fakes left, a right, a right, a left.
(girls screaming)
(bottles breaking)
(tires screeching)
- [Cliff] What speed,
what power, what moves!
- [Sandy] You're crazy!
- [Cliff] I'm not crazy, just flying!
- [Dianne] Then you
were on drugs when they
brought you into the hospital.
- [Cliff] You said it, gotta be high.
- [Dianne] You're going the wrong way!
Stop the car!
(brakes squealing)
- [Cliff] Look out mama!
- Let me outta this car!
- [Cliff] Wahoo!
(girls screaming)
(police sirens wailing)
- Well this looks like a familiar face.
Hold on I have to type
cross match Vicodins.
Have hold five more.
- Uh-uh, can't do it.
- What's a matter?
- Labs backed up a couple of hours.
- A couple of hours.
- Hey didn't we fight
this guy two days ago?
- Yeah?
- Alright then let's go with that.
- Right.
- I want you to call X-ray and have them,
tell them we may need some skull film.
I wanna CBC and an SMA.
- Dr. Wilson.
Dr. Wilson, stop, I have to talk to you.
It's very important.
- What's the matter with your hand?
- Nevermind my hand it's about Cliff,
I have to explain something to you,
wait don't go, I have to!
But!
- Get some stitches in you.
- Heart rate 150, Doctor the
blood pressure's going down.
- Damn it, what's going on here?
Where's that report?
Call the lab again and
then see if you can reach
Dr. Falco in neurosurgery.
- Doctor Wilson I've got to talk to you.
- Not now.
- It has to be now it's imperative.
It's about that patient
- Damn it will you let go
of me and get outta here?
- I can't it's an emergency,
I have to talk to you!
Now listen to me, when that
patient came in here Tuesday
who took the blood test, Dr. Krause right?
And what did they reveal, nothing right?
Well I know for a fact
that Cliff had taken
speed that night.
- What are you saying?
- Dr. Krause substituted
someone else's blood
for Gallagher's, maybe his own.
- Why, that doesn't make sense.
- He's trying to cover up
the fact that he's supplying
speed to the team.
- [Dr. Wilson] In other words
- In other words the blood
that you're giving that patient
is typed for someone else.
- Nurse!
- Nevermind I'll get it.
(machine beeping steadily)
- He's going to be alright.
- Can I see him?
- He's sedated but we'll
be taking him upstairs
in a minute.
- Now are you positive
these tests won't hurt.
I mean no shots or anything?
- No, no just X-rays.
In fact if my guess is
right you're gonna be
in school next week.
- That soon huh?
- Yep.
- Well now you mention it I
do have a pain right here.
Hey look out!
- Please be careful!
- Oh my god, Marisa!
What are you doing in here?
- Hey it's a long story, ask him.
Come on you guys, get me out of here.
- Yeah go ahead.
I'll check back later.
- [Dr. Wilson] Gotta get him upstairs.
- Yes of course.
See you later.
I couldn't help noticing
at the onset of renal
- [Dr. Wilson] Have you
ever considered law?
- [Dianne] No sir
- [Dr. Wilson] Think about it.
- Wally, about yesterday
- Forget it.
I'll buy you a cup of coffee.
(laughing) Ouch!
Owen Boles huh, well I'll
say this for you Sandy.
You have a fertile imagination.
- Kay so don't believe me
there's plenty of others
that will like Dr. Melman.
Wally what is it?
- Come on.
(upbeat rock music)
(laughing and giggling)
(funky rock beat)
- Excuse me, you're
Marisa Valdez aren't you?
I just happen to have an extra ticket to
the Owen Boles concert tonight.
I heard that everybody who's
anybody's gonna be there,
it's gonna be fantastic and
I have this extra ticket,
and I thought maybe if you
weren't doing anything.
You probably have a lot of homework to do,
you look like a very serious student.
That's okay, I'll just sell
the ticket or something,
that's okay.
Thanks a lot it was really
nice talking to you.
Have a really nice afternoon.
- Um, young lady.
Suppose you know it's strictly forbidden
to have a knife on campus.
Perhaps you'd like me to hold that for you
til after school.
- No thanks.
- Well maybe I better restate that.
I'll take the knife now.
- Don't count on it.
- It's a nice knife.
Where'd you steal it?
- You better give that back to me.
- Oh, a little wild cat huh?
Oh don't worry I'll leave it
in the principal's office.
Pick up there if you still want it.
(yells in surprise)
(people yelling encouragingly)
- Miss Valdez, we can't
go on meeting like this.
This is the third time
in the month you've been
hauled in here.
Not counting that little
stunt with the saran wrap
over the toilet bowls.
It's really such a pity.
Your teachers all tell me
that you're very bright.
That you could be a
straight A student except--
(frame smacks against floor)
(glass shattering)
Wish I could understand you.
Haven't you any desire
to lift yourself up?
To make something better of yourself?
- (sighs) What's the use?
You can't beat the system.
- I'll tell you what,
we're going to forget
this latest episode.
In return for which you're going to start
doing something constructive.
There's a volunteer program
over at the Oakwood Hospital.
Miss Valdez, you're going
to be a candy stripe nurse.
- [Voiceover] It's probably
Owen Bowl's last concert
this year and everyone is
gonna be there, I mean,
two or three of the Beatles
are gonna be there and,
word has it that Dylan's
gonna be sitting in.
- Don't you think that superstar
stuff is a little juvenile?
- Thursday nights I usually
go to the philharmonic
but I had these tickets
and I just figured that,
you know, you would wanna go.
- Get away from me.
- Sorry.
See ya in class.
- He should've asked me,
I'd go out with a two-headed
gorilla if he had tickets
to the Owen Boles concert.
- I don't know why, he
hasn't sang a note on key
since his first album.
- Who cares, if I wanted to hear him sing
I'd buy his records.
- Hey listen, when are
we gonna start trimming
the background for our dance concert?
- Tomorrow?
- I can't, I signed up to be
a candy striper at Oakwood.
- A candy striper?
Whatever for?
- Well, if I'm gonna be
a doctor I might as well
start getting some medical experience now.
(woman moaning)
- Did you hear something?
- Must be the air conditioning
again, you just can't
get anything fixed around here.
(repetitive whirring)
(woman moaning)
(upbeat rock music)
- Excuse me.
- What's the rush?
- I got a million things
to do before seven o'clock.
Oh you did remember by
math problems didn't you?
- Sure.
Uh look we can go to a later movie.
- Um.
Wally that's just the surprise
I was gonna tell you about.
We're not gonna go to the show tonight.
- Oh.
Okay.
Go on.
- Well this guy was just
sitting on the ground
just pounding his head
into the grass, you know?
So I went over you know I
asked him, are you okay,
and he just started cracking
up, I mean really laughing.
Well anyway to make a long
story short he told me
that I was the nicest
person that he had talked to
all day and gave me two
tickets absolutely free,
now isn't that unbelievable?
- Wait a minute, just tickets?
Or tickets to something?
- More like tickets to something.
- Aha, okay.
- Wally, I don't think you're
gonna like this too much.
- The Owen Boles concert
- That's right now there's
no use arguing with me,
I'm going whether or not
you wanna take me because
there are plenty of other fish in the sea,
like Dr. Post for instance.
- If it were wearing pants
you'd think a stingray was cute.
- Oh that's ridiculous.
Hey yeah now I'm gonna go
are you gonna pick me up
at seven or aren't you?
- Yeah, yeah.
I may be a little late though.
Have to stop down at surgery first.
Have my ears impacted.
Oh, here.
Don't forget your homework.
By the way, I couldn't
do the last problem.
- Aw that's okay cause
the last time you did
it for me I forgot to
put it in my own writing
and that teacher's been
suspicious ever since.
Thanks.
- Hold on!
Let me make sure the coast is clear first.
Okay.
(upbeat rock music)
- Boy you really look a mess.
- Yeah well you know I just finished up
with a patient operation.
- What'd you do, remove an
appendix from your pillow case?
- You know I was going to but
it didn't have Blue Cross.
- [Voiceover] It's new,
it's from Owen Boles and
it's all for you.
♫ Well I'm the big old wolf
♫ So you better beware of me babe
♫ I'll take a big old lick
♫ All the little chickens'll sing, yeah
- [Voiceover] About ten more pounds.
- You don't need to, I
have been on this diet
for the last six weeks
- Hi Mom
- Sandy, say hello to your Aunt Edna
- Hi Aunt Edna, listen
I'm gonna go out later
so I wanna get to work on
my homework right away.
- Well that girl of yours has turned into
quite a little woman.
- Yes, she amazes me sometimes.
I don't know where she
gets all her energy,
top grades at school, she's
president of the social club,
and somehow she still finds
time to do volunteer work
as a candy striper at the hospital.
All I can see, it's nice
to see that young people
today still want to do
their part for humanity.
(upbeat rock music)
- Hey does anybody know what time it is?
- [Voiceover] Six o'clock.
(funky rock beat)
- Hey brother, you got a light?
- Here.
- It's no good man.
That's what going into
business will take care of.
I like your bike man, that
thing's just too much.
(glass breaking)
Too much, too much.
Oughta be a law against locking bathrooms.
Hey man I need the key to the bathroom.
- You think I run a free service here?
- Alright let's have a deal
here I'll do it here by the door
- Okay, okay just a second.
- Don't move or I'll blow your ass off.
- You bastard you won't
get away with this.
- Why do you wanna make
a coward out of you.
Turn around.
(cash register dings)
- Mind if I.
- Get down.
- Go!
(gun firing)
(gun fires)
(brakes squealing)
(gun firing)
(groans in pain)
(police sirens blaring)
(funky rock beat)
(voices talking on police radio)
- Well at least I got one of them.
- He oughta be outa
commission for a while.
- How does it feel punk?
- Man have I got to take a piss.
(ambulance creaks)
- I'm supposed to ask
if you want any juice.
- Well?
- Well, do you want any juice?
- No.
- Good.
- Wait a minute.
What kind of juice do you have?
- Yellow and orange.
- What's the yellow?
- I don't know, just a minute.
Just yellow, you want it?
- No.
- Okay.
- Scratch my back?
- Just what is that supposed to mean?
- I mean I want you to scratch my back,
I'm injured, I can't reach.
- Okay, where?
- Right here.
- Mhm, just as I figured,
you can reach it yourself.
So why don't you scratch it?
- Cause you're prettier.
- That's for sure.
- Come on, I'm in pain, I'm a patient.
- Okay, okay.
- That's good.
How 'bout a little lower huh?
- Don't got to work on freebies.
- Listen anytime I can return a favor.
- Okay that's enough.
Hey what's that?
- It's to keep me from falling out of bed.
I toss in my sleep a lot.
- Wait a minute, I heard about you,
you're the guy who stuck up
the gas station, excuse me.
- In case you're interested, I'm innocent.
- Sure and I'm Jackie Onassis,
drop by the yacht sometime.
- [Voiceover] Doctor
Stewart, Doctor John Stewart.
Doctor Wilson
- Excuse me, can you direct
me to the Arnholdt Research
Institute for Reproductive
and Non-procreative Function?
- Huh?
Oh, you mean the sex clinic.
Through there and to your left.
- Thank you.
(laughing)
- Okay I finished that
side, what would you
like me to do now?
- Well you could do the other side.
- Why didn't I think of that.
- Isn't there anything
more interesting to do
than deliver newspapers?
(telephone ringing)
- Excuse me.
Uh-huh.
Looks like your friend
in 317 is bored again.
- Billy?
Poor kid, I'll go see what he wants.
- Now she's got the right idea.
Talk to your patients,
try to cheer them up.
- May I have Mrs. Rogers' chart please.
- Oh yes Doctor, here it is.
- Oh, thank you.
- Excuse me.
- Yes?
- Are you making rounds?
- Yes, I am.
- I was just wondering,
no, I couldn't ask that.
- [Doctor] No, please go ahead.
- You see, I intend to be a doctor myself,
and I thought maybe I could
tag along and observe?
- [Doctor] Why of course
you're more than welcome.
- I realize I'm just a candy striper.
- Now don't put yourself down,
candy stripers perform
a very valuable service.
- I promise I won't ask too many questions
or be too much trouble.
- Trouble? (laughing)
Don't be silly.
- Excuse me young lady, I didn't realize
this was your patient.
- Well it just seems to
me with a fever rising
so rapidly you shouldn't put
off the operation any longer.
Here, look at the chart.
- Perhaps you'd like to
do the operation yourself.
- No of course not.
But I would like to assist
you if you don't mind.
- [Voiceover] And they
tried to tell me hospital
service was deteriorating?
- Well it helps if you
know the right people.
- Don't go away now.
(knocking on door)
- Remember if you never learn
another thing in your career
always diagnose from
the symptoms and trust
your own judgment.
- [Dianne] Doctor
- [Doctor] Please no talking,
you promised.
How are you feeling my dear?
- I'm afraid I'm a little
tired today Doctor.
- Slight fatigue.
Accelerated pulse.
Bit of fever I imagine.
Sweaty palms, flushed complexion.
It's a classic case of hyperthyroidism.
(toilet flushing)
Who are you?
- Uh, Bill Stearn sir, pleased to meet ya.
- Then you're.
Of course.
What else.
- Excuse me Doctor Wilson
they're asking for you
down in emergency.
(metal clattering on floor)
(man yelling)
(instruments clattering on floor)
(man yelling)
- Why are you doing this to me?
Call the off, stop them!
(Dianne screams)
- Let's take some blood for a CBC and give
that man a drug screen.
In fact, we might as well send down a clot
for type and hold.
You never know when these cases
will turn shocking on you.
- Okay.
- Wilson.
- Oh Dr. Krause well it
looks like your star athlete
has run amok.
- He took a very bad
elbow to the head today.
- Possible concussion, I'll see who's on
neurosurgery tonight.
- Uh frankly.
He's always been a little
shall we say unstable.
These kids can get awfully
keyed up out there.
- Well we'll just keep him
here overnight for observation
if that's alright with you.
- Oh.
Sure.
And I don't think we'll
really need to bother
with all those blood tests.
- Probably not but what
the hell, it never hurts
to play it safe.
- Whatever you say, now if
you'll excuse me Doctor.
Now if you folks don't mind I'd like to be
alone with my patient.
Nurse please, I'll take care of that.
You too, out.
- I don't know what he's so touchy about.
Blood tests are supposed
to be my responsibility.
Good looking, isn't he?
- I wouldn't know, he's not my type.
I guess you'll be getting
out this afternoon.
- Yeah, listen I hope I didn't
scare you too much yesterday.
- You sure were crazy,
what happened anyway?
- Nothing much, just got a
little carried away I guess.
- Have you ever taken a lot of acid?
You know sometimes
that'll flashback on you
when you least expect it.
- What is this, junior doctor time?
- Sorry.
Well I guess I better see if
anyone else wants one of these.
Good luck with your whatevers.
- Playoffs.
Been real nice talking to ya.
- Could I ask you something?
- Sure, fire away.
- When you're playing
basketball do you ever consider
the aesthetic element of your movements?
- Uh.
Well I'd say, uh.
Huh?
- Do you ever see yourself as a dancer,
and basketball's a kind of dance?
- No.
- That's too bad, because you
see to me the conventional
distinction between
competitive athletics and more
classically aesthetics
of elimination and the
bitterness energy.
(sneakers squeaking on court)
- Gallagher, get over here.
What the hell's the matter
with you you're moving
like freight train out there.
- I don't know what's wrong with me coach.
- You feel alright?
- Eh.
- Listen, just take it
easy I want you in shape
for that game, go ahead, get in there.
- You really were moving
beautifully out there.
- (scoffs) It's a good thing
you don't know anything
about basketball.
- Well anyway thanks again
for letting me watch.
I guess I'll be running along.
- Wait a minute, what's the rush?
- Well I have all the footage I need and
I really should be getting
- Stick around.
Let's talk about this project of yours.
There's some things I'd like to find out.
- Are you sure we're
allowed to be in here?
- I'm on the team, I
get special privileges.
- I mean, it seems awfully deserted.
- So you like the way I move.
- I really don't think
you understand the concept
I'm working on.
- Oh I understand.
- Listen, it's getting
late and I'm really gonna
have to be going.
What are you doing?
- Look, we both know why you came here.
- I'm leaving and don't
you try and stop me.
- Stop this fooling around.
We're only wasting time.
- You know, I really feel sorry for you.
- Yeah I thought you were leaving.
- In a minute.
First I just think it's
about time someone told you
- That does it.
(laughing)
- Don't come any closer.
I took karate lessons.
- How many?
- Three.
- I think I'll risk it.
- You know, you're not remotely my type.
- Well what is your type?
- More refined and intellectual.
- The kind who speaks
French and smokes a pipe.
- Don't be ridiculous.
- And drinks sherry with
his pinky in the air.
- Not quite.
- Then what's wrong with me?
- I don't know, you're just such a jock.
- You'll pay for that.
- Wake up.
I've gotta go home.
- Yeah sure, let me know
when we get to Bakersfield.
- Uh hey, maybe it's
none of my business but,
isn't that IV line supposed
to go into your arm?
- That's right.
It's none of your business.
- Well don't you wanna get better?
- Why so I can go to jail sooner?
- You're not really innocent are you?
- What do you care?
- I don't, I just thought that, well,
- Look you wouldn't understand.
What's the use?
You can't beat the system.
- Your handcuffs, what happened?
- A lawyer came.
A public defender.
He arranged bail.
- Well maybe he can get you off I mean
if you're really innocent.
- Doesn't matter anyway.
I still have to cop a plea.
- But why?
- Because I don't have any evidence.
The gas station attendant,
he thinks I was in on it.
The only other witness can't be found.
- But if you didn't do it.
- Doesn't matter it's all gambling.
If I plead innocent and lose,
I can get ten years in jail.
- Ten years?
- [Carlos] Ten years.
- But that isn't fair.
- Tell that to the judge.
- Well what about the witness.
- What about him, I don't know who he is,
I don't know where he lives.
- Do you remember anything at all?
- [Carlos] I can't remember too much.
He had this bike, this motorcycle.
Fancy, customized gas tank.
Rainbow colors, blue, yellow.
(funky rock beat)
- Excuse me, wonder if you could help me.
- You wonder, I don't
think there's any doubt
about that baby.
- Have you ever customized a
motorcycle to look like that?
- No I don't think I have.
- Hey Louie ain't you gonna introduce me
to this beautiful dish?
- Nah I don't think so.
- You know, uh.
I was looking at your car
out there I couldn't help
noticing how much oil that was dripping.
I hate to be the one that
tells you bad news but,
I'm afraid you need a new head gasket.
See once the oil gets in with the water,
it'll overheat and could
cause the block to crack.
Most places get a hundred
dollars for a job like that.
Alright, alright, 50.
But that's my rock bottom price.
- You think cause I'm
a girl you can get away
with anything you like.
I got news for you.
I don't have 50 dollars.
I don't even have five dollars.
But if I had five dollars
you know what I'd do?
I'd go out there and get me a good pair of
needle nose pliers, see, and
then you know what I'd do,
I'd take those pliers
see, I'd use them to pluck
your eyes out with them.
Then you know what I'd
do, I'd take those pliers
and turn the oil point
on my engine which is the
only goddamn thing wrong with that car.
(laughing)
- Women huh?
- Look, you're his only
hope, how can you be so sure
he was in on it?
- He had to be, he was right there.
- But it could have been a coincidence.
- Look I know the type I
spotted him for no good
the minute I spotted him.
- How can you say that?
- Now don't you yell at me,
it just so happens that I've
owned this station for more
years than you've been alive
and I've watched this neighborhood
go from a nice, quiet,
decent place to a God forsaken slum.
And all those years I survived
and you wanna know how?
Because I know these people
and when he walked in there
I could feel it like a
rat down in my bones.
Let's face it kiddo, you're all alike.
(fist thuds against skin)
You're all alike!
(low key rock beat)
- Aw.
The way my eyes looked you'd think I was
partying every night.
- Have you been?
- No, no it's the smog,
haven't you noticed?
- No I haven't.
- It's getting worse all the time.
- So, this where you girls hide out.
Doctor Kramer just called
from the sex clinic,
the receptionist had to
go home early today so,
would one of you like to fill in?
- Yeah, could be interesting.
(telephone ringing)
Are you serious, with a duck?
Three ducks?
Yeah but how do you?
No, well in that case who?
No.
Well who would do it?
Your sister?
With scotch tape?
Well wait a minute I thought
that you said your husband.
Oh pictures.
Oh yes well I'm sure they are but,
no I really wouldn't know about that.
Yes, suit yourself.
Kay, bye.
- Well, we're making excellent progress,
I wouldn't be at all
surprised if by tomorrow
you're up to step four.
- Oh we'll try our best Dr. Kramer.
- Good just don't get
too carried away now.
- Oh don't worry we won't.
- Alright I'll see you tomorrow then.
- Okay Doctor Kramer, come on Carl.
- [Carl] Bye Doctor
- [Dr. Kramer] Bye.
Ah excuse me, Miss uh?
- Sandy
- [Dr. Kramer] Sandy.
I'm expecting a new
patient momentarily so just
buzz me in my office as
soon as he gets here.
- Okay.
- [Voiceover] Your attention
please, beginning today,
all automobiles that do
not display the new yellow
parking permit will be
immediately towed upon
- Is this the Arnholdt
Institute of whatever?
- Yes.
- [Man] Good, you do
have a Dr. Kramer here.
- [Sandy] Yes.
- [Man] Good then would
you tell Dr. Kramer that
Owen Boles is here to see him?
- Sure I'll ring him for you.
You know that's funny I coulda
sworn that you just said.
Uh Dr. Kramer?
- Get me out of here,
who's idea was this anyway?
- Owen Boles is here to see you.
- Owen baby you know
we've got to be careful,
a thing like this could ruin us.
The papers, I'd kill myself.
Not before I kill you.
- Oh you don't have to worry about me.
- [Man] Ah, Dr. Kramer.
- Yes, Mr. Boles?
- No, Freddie Guillette,
his personal manager.
That's the boy back there.
- Alright Mr. Boles why don't
you step in here please.
- Hi, I'm April.
- I'm not.
- It's customary for me to
interview the patient alone.
- Dr. Kramer you don't seem to understand.
I'm his personal manager, Owen never does
anything without me.
- Anything?
- [Freddie] Anything.
- I'll be perfectly frank with you doctor,
what we face now is nothing
less than a national disaster.
- Oh now really I don't think it's useful
to exaggerate matters.
- Do I look like the
kind of person who would
exaggerate matters?
I have never been more serious in my life.
The young people of this
country are dependent
on Owen Boles, they
need him, they love him.
Why without him they would be bankrupt.
Spiritually speaking of course.
- [Dr. Kramer] Perhaps but
- And yet, and yet the man
you see before you now is
nothing more than a
shell of his former self.
He hasn't written a new song in months.
His performances are as dead as the twist.
Doc, I'll give it to you in two words.
No energy.
- Look, this clinic deals
specifically in sexual problems.
- Doc, look at me, come here, look at me.
Goose eggs.
- Goose eggs?
- Goose eggs, wipe out, zilch, nothing.
Just ask yin and yang.
- In other words you're
telling me there's an apparent
sexual dysfunction.
- [Freddie] Not in other words, that's it.
He can't do it anymore, or he won't.
You figure it out.
- Hey, I'm hungry, anything
to eat around here?
Oh thank you.
- Doc, what do you think,
now I don't wanna rush you
but frankly speaking I
don't know how much longer
he can hang on, he is sinking fast.
In a couple of months he's gonna be off
the charts altogether.
- Well you know here at the
institute we've uncovered
research which proves there's
a definite correlation
between impotence and the abuse of drugs.
- Drugs?
- I was just bringing
you a glass of water?
- You have the glass upside down.
- No wonder the water wouldn't stay in it.
- So everything is settled Dr. Kramer.
You'll send over the
potnotherapist as you call it
this afternoon, you have the address.
- You don't let him do
much talking do you?
- Would you let Isaac Stern
use his violin as a shoe horn?
(April giggling)
Listen to her, she doesn't
even know what a shoe horn is.
- Hey, is it true that you
have a machine that does it?
- No, no, that's another place.
- Drugs?
- Uh, Miss?
Sandy?
I want you to call Jane Ellington,
her number's in the address file.
You have her go over to Owen Boles' house
at this time.
Here is his address.
(upbeat rock music)
- Yes, is this Jane Ellington?
Yes, I'm calling for Dr.
Kramer to tell you that
he doesn't need you today.
Right I'm sure he'll call you tomorrow,
uh-huh, goodbye.
♫ Mister opportunity's not gonna come
♫ Knockin' upon you door of life they say
♫ Hear what I say
♫ Mister opportunity is back on the run
♫ He's speeding along past
the door of life they say
♫ Hear what I say, better grab of him
♫ Tackle him, lock him
up, although it's for free
♫ It's a chance of a lifetime mama
♫ You better not blow it
♫ Cause it's your chance
of a lifetime mama
♫ Better not blow it
♫ Mister opportunity is laughing at you
♫ For sitting alone with
nothing to do everyday
♫ Hear what I say, I got the
notion he's around the bend
♫ Hopin' for you to let him in today
♫ Hear what I say you'd better grab him
♫ Tackle him, lock him,
although it's for free
♫ Cause it's a chance of a lifetime mama
♫ You'd better not blow it
♫ Cause it's a chance of a lifetime mama
♫ You'd better not blow it
♫ Cause it's a chance of a lifetime mama
♫ You'd better not blow it ♫
- Hey Sandy.
Take a look at my new bike.
- Yeah sure Wally look, I
really got a lot to do today,
I'm in a hurry.
- What, I thought we were
gonna go to the movies.
- Oh wow, I completely forgot,
how 'bout tomorrow night?
- [Wally] You know that
I'm working tomorrow night.
- Well I'll call you sometime.
- What the hell does that mean?
- Hey you two, no necking
in the parking lot.
- [Sandy] Wally, we'd better
stop seeing each other.
(delicate piano playing)
- [Dianne] It symbolizes man's
attempts to come to grips
with the demonic inside himself.
- [Cliff] I wouldn't mind
coming to grips with that one.
- [Dianne] You're intolerable.
- [Cliff] So's this concert,
let's get outta here.
- [Dianne] Okay I'll admit it's graceful,
but does it have any
substance, any meaning?
- [Cliff] Meaning, well sure
it uh, symbolizes flight.
Man's eternal quest for
- [Dianne] Wait a minute,
you can't symbolize flight,
it is flight.
- [Cliff] Oh well, in that
case it symbolizes uh.
- [Dianne] Come on, I wanna hear this.
- [Cliff] Uh.
Symbolizes sex.
- [Dianne] You're right.
- [Cliff] I am?
- [Dianne] No, but I like your attitude.
- [Cliff] Can't miss it,
it's in a brown bottle.
Just bring three or four.
You find it alright?
- [Dianne] I refuse to
encourage the use of drugs.
- [Cliff] Hell, amphetamines aren't drugs,
they're essential nutrients.
Ah!
- Well, we'd better get back to work.
- It's a little ridiculous.
High school girl writing a term
paper for a college senior.
- You wanna graduate don't you?
- I haven't got enough units anyway.
- I thought all you jocks
took special courses like
advanced towel snapping or
the history of crotch rash.
- Yeah I got A's in both of those.
Unfortunately I let a
girl talk me into majoring
in psychology last year.
A month later we broke up and I was stuck
with a major I couldn't even spell.
Besides, practices take
up most of my time.
- Oh no, what time is it?
9:30, Jesus.
I forgot to call home.
I'm sorry I forgot to call.
We were, well you know.
She's worried about me riding home so late
and asked if it would be alright for me to
spend the night here.
- Sure.
- Yeah it's okay.
Alright, bye.
- That was your mother.
- Yeah.
You'll have to meet her sometime.
- Uh-huh.
(upbeat rock music)
- I'm sorry I've kept
you waiting I was out by
the swimming pool.
You, I thought you were the receptionist.
- I was, oh I mean I was just
filling in I'm definitely
a registered therapist.
- Oh but then I presume
Dr. Kramer has briefed you.
- Oh yes, we talked for hours.
- Miss I must warn you this
is not going to be easy.
- That's okay, I'm
handled to train anything.
- Owen, this is miss?
- Bates
- [Freddie] Miss Bates would
you sit down please.
Can I get you anything to drink?
- Oh, no, no thanks.
- Can we eat now?
- Hey Cookie.
Miss Bates, would you like a
steak, what would you like?
You want a steak?
- Oh nothing, no, thanks.
- How 'bout chicken, chicken?
We got chicken, you want
chicken, you don't want chicken.
Cookie what else do we have in there.
Lobster, we have lobster,
you want lobster,
you don't want lobster.
We have any shrimp, we
don't have any shrimp.
Fish, do we have any fresh fish?
- I want shrimp.
- We don't have any shrimp.
- I want shrimp.
- Shrimp.
He wants shrimp.
It's a mad house that's what it is.
And I put up with it, I put up with it.
I run it.
- You know that you are
my all time favorite,
I mean I've got every single
album that you've ever made.
- Most people do.
- No I mean it, you're really great.
- I know.
- God you must lead an
incredible life huh?
- Yeah, incredible.
- Um.
Mr. Boles would you mind if I
asked you a personal question?
Do you find me attractive?
- What's personal about that?
- Well you don't find me repulsive do you?
- I hadn't thought about it.
- Well actually, well I meant,
well I was wondering if.
- Have you finished?
- Now what is the matter
with you don't you
ever get turned on?
- It's too much trouble.
- Such a child.
You and your bunny, you make a great team.
- Baby Bunny's sick today.
- Oh God.
- I'm a witch, but don't worry I like you.
- Jesus Christ, what the
hell's going on out here,
I thought I told you girls to stay out
- It's April's fault she said we could.
- Zouzou's lying, it was her idea
- I don't care, let's go girls, out.
No, out, no.
- But I promise
- But nothing you, you
think you have anything
like you wanna, out, no, out!
I promise you'll be left alone now.
- That won't be necessary I'm leaving too.
I can't stand it anymore, pretending to be
interested in that jellyfish.
I mean God to think that I kissed you,
makes my skin crawl, where can
a girl throw up around here?
- Stop.
Where are you going, this is
outrageous, you can't do this.
- Now do you see this, this is a real man.
Passion, fire, virility.
Call me up sometime, huh?
- She's crazy.
She doesn't know what she's saying.
- Hey bitch, you come back here.
You come back here now.
Come back here, you don't leave,
Freddie bring her back!
Freddie!
Freddie, do something!
Freddie!
Freddie!
Freddie!
- What do you want with this guy anyway?
- I got to find him,
he was the only witness
to a gas station hold up.
- Is that true, a hold up?
- Yeah, on Broadbury, and
if I don't find him by
this afternoon the wrong guy's
gonna go to prison for it.
- Well, I sure wish I could help ya.
Good luck.
- Thanks.
- Oh miss?
It's just a thought but uh,
there's a little paint shop
about a mile down the road, Ernie's.
You might try there, he
sometimes does that kinda work.
- Thanks
- [Mechanic] Alright.
(funky rock beat)
Say uh, did you make up your
mind about that paint job?
- I'll have to come back for it later.
- R. Garcia, does he work here?
- Oh, you mean Ray.
- Ray Garcia, is that it?
- Ray is in some kind of trouble?
- No, no, I just gotta
find him, somebody told me
he works here.
- He used to but that's
several months ago.
Last time I talked to him
he said something about
working at a junk yard.
- Do you remember the name of it?
- I don't know.
Bob and Jess's I think.
- Bob and Jess's.
- Jess and Bob.
Down there along fourth.
- Thank you.
- Excuse me honey.
I couldn't help overhearing
you're looking for
my old buddy Ray Garcia.
- You know Ray Garcia?
- Do I know Ray Garcia.
Ray Garcia and I are tight like this.
But I gotta tell you he don't work at
Bob and Jess's no more, they fired him.
I'll tell you where to
look thought it's a place
called Las Palomas
- I've seen it
- He hangs out there a lot.
- Thanks.
- Oh if Ray isn't there, you
ask for Eddie in the kitchen.
He'll know where Ray is.
- Eddie, yeah, thanks a lot.
- Pleasure's all mine.
(funky, upbeat rock music)
(brakes screeching)
Give me Eddie.
- Are you Eddie?
- Maybe.
- Can you tell me where
to find Ray Garcia?
- Maybe.
- I gotta find him today, it's urgent.
- Uh-huh.
- Look.
Can't you see I'm in a hurry?
- You like enchiladas?
I know how to make 'em real good.
Most people don't know
how to make an enchilada.
They think you just throw
together a few things,
a little beef, a little
cheese, some onions,
and bueno, enchilada.
No way, baby.
You gotta know how to do it.
And dig this, you gotta
know the secret ingredient.
- Do you know where Ray is or don't you?
- As I was saying, you gotta
know the secret ingredient.
Watch.
Fat.
Most people tell you
fat's no good for you.
But that's their opinion.
If you ask me a thing ain't worth eating
unless it's got some fat on it.
How 'bout you, you like fat?
- Get back, you gonna
tell me or aren't you?
- Hey, hey, take it easy.
Maybe we can work something out.
How much is it worth to you?
- Are you crazy, I don't have any money.
- You do have certain negotiable
properties shall we say?
Okay, let's go.
(laughing)
So you're looking for a witness eh?
Too bad you don't have one now.
Cause he'd really have something to see.
- You filthy pig.
- Oh sorry.
(laughing)
A little skinny.
But you'll do, lie down.
- Okay mister, you wanted to do it?
Let's do it.
Only one thing.
This better be good.
What's the matter, having trouble?
Romance gone out of it?
Father's all done?
Alright, get up.
Where do you think you're going?
- You're crazy!
- Stop, stop right there.
Damn.
(upbeat rock music)
You're Ray Garcia right?
- Uh-huh.
- And you witnessed a gas
station hold up this week right?
- Uh-huh.
- And you remember a guy
in a light green shirt
who asked you for a cigarette?
- Uh-huh.
- Boy am I glad to see you.
Listen, are you willing
to testify in court
that that guy had nothing
to do with the hold up?
- No.
- No, why not?
- Because it would be a lie.
The guy in the light green
shirt was the leader,
he was the one who walked in first.
- But wait a minute, you don't understand,
that was just a coincidence.
- No I saw it myself.
He was the leader.
- No you're just guessing you're not sure.
- I saw it.
He had a gun.
- A gun, no it can't be.
- He shot the attendant.
- No!
- Shot him in cold blood.
- No!
(upbeat rock music)
(cloth tearing)
- You know you're a pretty good actor.
- Well I had the proper motivation.
- You've done okay so far.
Now get down on the ground and stay there.
Remember, that mouth stays
shut real tight, see.
Cause if you try any funny
stuff I'll make wallpaper
out of your brains,
assuming you've got any.
Okay yoyo, hang it up.
Looks you don't learn too fast.
- Just gonna
- [Ray] Order in a pizza yeah,
I know come on.
We're closin' early
today so you can't take
your private lessons.
Oh.
And while we're locking the gate,
you might be thinking about which leg
you want broken first.
- [Voiceover] Say I need a VW fender.
- Oh well we ain't got any.
- Sure you do, there's a
whole bunch right over there.
- Oh well ain't that too bad cause we're
closing early today.
- Hey, what the hell, we've
got time for one more customer.
- Okay babe, whatever you
say but I better come along,
I know how accident
prone you are, let's go.
- Marisa.
What happened?
What's wrong?
- I got something for you.
There, that's what you wanted?
The name of the witness
at the gas station?
The witness who saw you
shoot the attendant?
- Wait, he couldn't have
said that, he's a liar,
he's a damn liar.
- Yeah, the world is full of liars.
- Hey, what is this?
What's the matter?
(sobbing)
What's happened?
What's the matter dear, what's
happened, what's the matter?
Tell me, what's the matter?
What's happened dear?
- Nothing.
- Oh come on, you can tell me.
I'm an old hag, what happened honey,
what's the matter?
Oh.
Honey do you know that your dress is torn?
What happened?
- Yes I know, I caught it in a fender.
Oh my god.
(upbeat rock music)
Call the police!
Quick, tell them to this address.
- Come on jive ass,
and no more cute tricks
or you're gonna be real
sorry and real dead.
Sit down by the wall, jive.
- If this is too tight let me know,
so I can make it tighter (laughing)
- [Ray] See you later (laughing)
- Gimme that.
- Go ahead man.
Have it your own way, jive.
- Miss?
- [Eddie] So long pals,
I'm gonna miss you guys.
(gun fires)
(gun fires)
- Oh Jesus Christ!
(bullets ricocheting)
("William Tell Overture" by Rossini)
- Dr. Wilson, how are things going?
- Okay.
- Do you have a second?
- Well actually
- You see I wanted to ask
you about that incident
in the emergency room the other day.
The basketball player?
- Oh.
Yes.
- I was just wondering what
could cause a fit like that.
- Why do you ask?
- No reason, just curious.
- Well, to tell you the
truth, you can't always tell.
It could be drugs, though
in this case the tests
were negative, or it
could be a concussion.
- Hm, okay thank you.
- That's all?
- See you later.
- First class transportation
and reasonable pension
shall be made to all actors
on tours and personal
appearances, we usually
should offer it make sure
that actors are, hold on, just a minute.
Hold on.
What are you doing here?
- I left my purse.
- I spoke with Dr. Kramer
about you yesterday,
he was very upset.
- Where's the emperor?
- Downstairs.
Hey but you can't go down there.
(upbeat rock music)
- Seems to me that I left my purse here.
- Oh, so you've come back to apologize.
- Apologize, apologize for what?
- What you said about
me, about my records.
- Records, that's odd, I've never even
heard any of your records before.
Unless you know by chance
in an elevator or something.
Say you didn't see my
purse in here have you?
- Purse, no.
- Well I was sitting right here.
Could you move over a little, thank you.
Damn it, where is it?
- By the way, I'm seriously
considering letting you
make love to me.
- The pool, did I have
it with my by the pool?
- Do you know most women
find my irresistible?
- Well there's no accounting
for taste now is there?
- Would you believe I get out 50 pounds
of mail every week?
- It must be comforting
to know at least some of
your fans are old enough to write.
- I can't go out in public
without being attacked
by teenage girls.
- And does your music have
that effect on dogs too?
- Bitch.
- Let go of me you're hurting.
- Bitch you aren't going
anywhere til I say so.
Listen here girl, no one walks
out on Owen Boles, no one.
- You really are a sick one aren't you?
- Yes I am.
- Hooray, hooray!
(grunting)
- Do it Owen, do it!
- Look at him do it, look
at him take her, look!
(grunting and yelling)
- What the hell is going on, Owen!
Owen stop, Owen stop please, Owen!
Owen, think of the legal consequences!
Owen, she could be underage!
It's gonna ruin us.
(panting heavily)
- You know this is funny.
I came here today with
only one thing in mind.
I wanted to say that I
Sandy Bates had slept
with the famous Owen
Boles and now here you are
begging for me and I wouldn't touch you if
you were the last man on earth.
You're the most disgusting (yelps)
- Oh you're gorgeous.
(grunting and struggling)
(moaning)
- [Girls] Owen, Owen, Owen!
- [Owen] Oh you're gorgeous.
(grunting and moaning)
- Look, I cured him.
- Where does it go from here?
- I don't know 'bout you but I'm going
to a basketball game.
(cheerleaders cheering)
- God, where have you been?
- Don't even ask.
(sneakers squeaking on court)
(crowd yelling)
(announcer on intercom)
How's your friend doing out there?
- He's looking pretty good.
- [Voiceover] Hey
Gallagher, open your eyes!
(crowd yelling)
- Even the streakers
move better than that.
Hey Gallagher, your mother blows goats!
(laughing)
- Gallagher, get outta there.
- I'm trying to get that
zombie outta the game.
Hey Gallagher, kiss my
charlie (blows raspberry)
(laughing)
- Sorry, it slipped.
- [Voiceover] Into the
lineup for the Matadors,
number 21, Sam Jefferson.
Basket number 13, Steve Wilts.
(cheerleaders cheering)
(buzzer ringing)
- Hey, Doc.
Come here.
Where's your bag, I'm really wiped out.
- Oh you know where it is.
Hey.
Didn't I give you a
couple of those already?
- Yeah but it didn't help.
- Well just take it easy,
those things are not
aspirin you know.
- Yeah sure.
- [Voiceover] Your attention
please, contestants for
tonight's battle to grenade
lookalike contest are reminded
to register at the Sawyer's
table as soon as possible.
And don't forget ladies
and gentlemen although
Jennifer Titwell will not
be crowned homecoming queen
tonight the dance in her honor
will be held on schedule,
immediately preceding the
game, correction that's
immediately following the game.
- [Crowd] Go Matadors, go!
- Hey Cliff, come on!
Come on Cliff!
(crowd erupts in cheers)
(crowd cheering)
- How do you like him now?
(crowd applauding)
(crowd cheering)
- [Voiceover] Basket Matadors!
(crowd cheers)
Basket Matadors
they trail by three.
(crowd cheers)
Basket Gallagher trail by one!
(people yelling)
(crowd cheers)
- Basket, Gallagher he did it!
(buzzer rings)
- We won, we won!
- [Voiceover] Gallagher did it, holy shit!
(crowd applauding)
- Come on let's get outta here.
- Stick around, Cliff'll
take us out to celebrate.
- Nah I dunno.
- Oh come on, it'll be fun.
- Yahoo!
- [Sandy] Will you slow down?
- [Dianne] Cliff, please!
(tires screeching)
- [Sandy] God, what's wrong with you?
- [Cliff] Nothing wrong
with me, I'm flying!
Never fear girls, you're riding with the
A number one greatest of
all time, of all time,
of all time.
- [Dianne] Cliff slow down
- [Sandy] You're crazy you're gonna
- [Cliff] Watch this one girls he rides,
he fakes left, a right, a right, a left.
(girls screaming)
(bottles breaking)
(tires screeching)
- [Cliff] What speed,
what power, what moves!
- [Sandy] You're crazy!
- [Cliff] I'm not crazy, just flying!
- [Dianne] Then you
were on drugs when they
brought you into the hospital.
- [Cliff] You said it, gotta be high.
- [Dianne] You're going the wrong way!
Stop the car!
(brakes squealing)
- [Cliff] Look out mama!
- Let me outta this car!
- [Cliff] Wahoo!
(girls screaming)
(police sirens wailing)
- Well this looks like a familiar face.
Hold on I have to type
cross match Vicodins.
Have hold five more.
- Uh-uh, can't do it.
- What's a matter?
- Labs backed up a couple of hours.
- A couple of hours.
- Hey didn't we fight
this guy two days ago?
- Yeah?
- Alright then let's go with that.
- Right.
- I want you to call X-ray and have them,
tell them we may need some skull film.
I wanna CBC and an SMA.
- Dr. Wilson.
Dr. Wilson, stop, I have to talk to you.
It's very important.
- What's the matter with your hand?
- Nevermind my hand it's about Cliff,
I have to explain something to you,
wait don't go, I have to!
But!
- Get some stitches in you.
- Heart rate 150, Doctor the
blood pressure's going down.
- Damn it, what's going on here?
Where's that report?
Call the lab again and
then see if you can reach
Dr. Falco in neurosurgery.
- Doctor Wilson I've got to talk to you.
- Not now.
- It has to be now it's imperative.
It's about that patient
- Damn it will you let go
of me and get outta here?
- I can't it's an emergency,
I have to talk to you!
Now listen to me, when that
patient came in here Tuesday
who took the blood test, Dr. Krause right?
And what did they reveal, nothing right?
Well I know for a fact
that Cliff had taken
speed that night.
- What are you saying?
- Dr. Krause substituted
someone else's blood
for Gallagher's, maybe his own.
- Why, that doesn't make sense.
- He's trying to cover up
the fact that he's supplying
speed to the team.
- [Dr. Wilson] In other words
- In other words the blood
that you're giving that patient
is typed for someone else.
- Nurse!
- Nevermind I'll get it.
(machine beeping steadily)
- He's going to be alright.
- Can I see him?
- He's sedated but we'll
be taking him upstairs
in a minute.
- Now are you positive
these tests won't hurt.
I mean no shots or anything?
- No, no just X-rays.
In fact if my guess is
right you're gonna be
in school next week.
- That soon huh?
- Yep.
- Well now you mention it I
do have a pain right here.
Hey look out!
- Please be careful!
- Oh my god, Marisa!
What are you doing in here?
- Hey it's a long story, ask him.
Come on you guys, get me out of here.
- Yeah go ahead.
I'll check back later.
- [Dr. Wilson] Gotta get him upstairs.
- Yes of course.
See you later.
I couldn't help noticing
at the onset of renal
- [Dr. Wilson] Have you
ever considered law?
- [Dianne] No sir
- [Dr. Wilson] Think about it.
- Wally, about yesterday
- Forget it.
I'll buy you a cup of coffee.
(laughing) Ouch!
Owen Boles huh, well I'll
say this for you Sandy.
You have a fertile imagination.
- Kay so don't believe me
there's plenty of others
that will like Dr. Melman.
Wally what is it?
- Come on.
(upbeat rock music)
(laughing and giggling)