Canary (2018) - full transcript

One, two, three...

I look like Diana.

Exactly!

Marietjie, what is this? I said
Boy George. How's this Boy George?

I think it looks pretty.

Can I get undressed? It's too hot.

No, no wait!

- Walk down the aisle, please...
- But then we're done.

- Quickly, one, two, three. Done.
- Once! Fine!

Wait!

- Oh, no...
- Yes.



But I need music. Sing something!

One, two, three. Go.

One, two, three.

Okay, we're done now. We're done.

Johannie?

No.

You don't even know
what I'm going to say.

I don't care. The answer is no.

I dare you
to walk down the street like this...

- No way.
- Yes!

- Just no way.
- I'll give you twenty rand.

No way!

- Thirty rand.
- No!

Shame, that's too little. Forty.



Fifty rand.

Okay, fifty rand.

Fifty rand?

Fifty rand!

Deal.

Annelie, seal it.

- Fifty rand.
- Yes, fifty rand.

That's two new LP's.
Buy it in Worcester this weekend.

On import.

New Depeche Mode, new Queen.
Write it down, Marietjie.

What if your parents come home?

No it's okay, it's Friday.

My mom's at the hairdresser;
my dad's at the municipality.

- Whatever. Move it.
- Put on my veil.

New Depeche Mode, new Queen.

Yes.

Don't you "shush" me!

CANARY

Johan, is that you?

Yes, reverend.

I suggest you go and change.

Before your father sees you like this.

Yes, reverend.

Johan.

Hello.

You still owe me fifty rand.

Reverend Van Rensburg saw me...

I really hope
he doesn't tell my father.

Why the long faces?

The mailman was here.

And?

He brought your call-up papers...

Dear Lord, it's me again.

Thank you for guiding us from Villiersdorp
to Worcester, and ensuring our safe arrival.

Now we ask Lord...

Please be with this dear boy today.

Help him, God.

Help him get through the first page of
the "Path?thique Sonata" without stumbling.

Because behind these doors Lord, lies
his future. Literally behind these doors.

This army thing
doesn't sit well with any of us...

but if he can be accepted
into the Canaries,

it's just a few steps backward
instead of straight to hell.

Amen.

Amen.

Thank you, ma'am.

They're ready for us.

THE AUDITION

Afternoon.

Good afternoon.

Forms?

Niemand.

Johan.

Yes, reverend.

Oh, I see you're from Villiersdorp.

Yes, reverend.

Have you been confirmed?

Yes, reverend I have.

People sing your praises quite a bit...

Prefect...

Editor of the school newspaper...

And with a tremendous interest
in musical composition...

Excuse me, madam?

Musical composition,
he composes himself...

Apologies, reverend,
just wanted to add that...

Quite, alright. Thank you, madam.

Is that true, Johan?

Yes, reverend, I try.

That's very good news.

You know we only select
23 matric boys each year?

Yes, reverend.

- From the entire country.
- Yes reverend, I know.

So why did you, Johan...

Why did you apply?

Reverend, music is my life.

And being a Christian and a South African
are equally important to me.

I see the South African Defence
Force Church Choir and Concert Group

as the ideal opportunity
to live all that I believe,

all that I love and...

all that I am,

to the fullest.

An excellent answer.

What are you going to do for us today?

Reverend,
first of all I'm going to sing

and then I'll play

the "Path?thique Sonata" on the piano.

What are you going to sing?

"Dearest Moon".

When you're ready...

Lovely moon,

you drift so calmly.

In a sea of stars,
you shine your light.

The wise will of your Creator,

directs you all through the night.

Kindly shine,

before you part,
bring peace to my weary heart...

Heavens,
the world and his wife are here.

Sorry, I'm Ludolf Otterman.

Ludolf Otterman and you are?

- Johan.
- Johan?

- Niemand.
- Niemand. Johan Niemand.

- It's hot as hell. Aren't you hot?
- No.

Johan, look at that family crying...

No, don't look, don't look.

Okay now. Look, look!

Oh, that's an inconsolable sob.

I told mother she can't come
if she's going to bawl like that...

Howl at home. Don't snivel
at the station. How embarrassing...

Shame, they're probably crying because
they don't know where we're going...

We're going to Valhalla, right?

Yes, Valhalla Air Force Base.

Resting place of the gods.

Sorry, what?

I said "resting place of the gods".

Oh, is that their motto?

No, it's... Never mind.

Okay, what is their motto then?

Per aspera ad astra.

Listen, what unit are you joining?

I'm with the South African Defence Force
Church Choir and Concert...

A Canary! Johan Niemand, me too!

Wow!

Two Canaries, one compartment...
Slap me silly with a soggy pawpaw!

Mother will be beside herself
when I tell her the story...

Do you sing or play an instrument?

I sing a little,
but I mostly play piano.

Me too!
I sing mostly and play a little piano.

Opera is actually more my thing.

The moment we're done,
I'm off to Germany...

To?

Uhm... sing!

The group of 83' recorded an album
with Mimi Coertse...

Mad about her! Mad for Mimi!

Mi-mi!

Listen, mother insisted
I pack an extra lunch...

She heard we only get dry bread
and sweet tea on this train.

Do you want...

a Crunchie?

- No, thanks.
- Mother made it herself.

I'm good, thank you.

I've got boiled eggs, sausages and...

I had lunch before I came.
I'm fine, thanks.

What does it mean?

What?

- Per arboe...
- Per aspera ad astra.

It's like an oven in here.
Let me see if I can...

Can you just... I think it's...

This thing's clearly broken...
Let me get someone...

No, no, would you just...

...sit down please?

Ludolf?

You attract a lot of attention...

and I think
it's better for me and for you...

to just sit quietly,
until we get to Pretoria.

I'm not trying to be nasty...

- Oh, no...
- Yes.

- No, no, that's fine.
- Okay.

- Perfectly fine.
- Thanks.

"Through adversity to the stars."

Per aspera ad astra.
That's what it means.

"Through adversity to the stars."

"Through adversity to the stars."

That's beautiful.

That's really very beautiful.

Johan Niemand,
we're going to be completely fine.

People tried to scare us for nothing.
Mother prays for me every night.

I'll ask her
to put you on her prayer list.

Besides, those guys in uniform
were quite sweet.

No, we're going to be completely fine.

Have a crunchie...

- I'm fine.
- It's really good. Mother made...

Oh, my fucking fuck!

What's this fucking tea party?

Get up, you chubby cunt!

Are you Laurel and fucking Hardy?

Hey fatso!
Why you so fucking fat, huh?

Mother says I'm naturally
armoured against the cold.

Looks like you swallowed
an armoured truck.

Don't look at me!

Oh it's from crunchie, crunchie,
crunchie that you look like that.

What unit are you in, Boob Troop?

I'm with the South African
Defence Force Church Choir and...

A Canary? Congrats!
You're fucking useless.

And you, beanpole?
You a Canary too?

- Yes, sir, he is.
- Sir!

This is the army,
not your fucking high school.

We have ranks.
I'm a corporal.

And you're a fucking recruit.

In other words...
Fuck-all!

So what are you?

A recruit, corporal.

No, you're a fucking recruit.

I try not to swear...

Then you better fucking learn, 'cause
unless you're Princess fucking Diana,

you do as I fucking tell you.
Feel me fatso?

Yes, corporal...

So what are you?

A fucking recruit.

That's it.

Beanpole!

Close those blinds before the terrorists
see what useless intakes we got.

And by the way...

Welcome to your hell!

VALHALLA

Let's go, you fucking rat pricks!
Get out! Get out! Get out!

This isn't your mommy's fucking house.
Let's go, go, go!

Well start with divisions tomorrow...

Get yourself a bed for the night.
Any fucking bed!

Come on, you cunts,
don't just stand there?

Move it! Move it!
Move it, you fucking arseholes.

Go, go, go, go!

You fucking cunts.

Go, faggot, go!

Move!

I said move it, faggot!

Next!

Number?

8-2-4-1-9-2-4-3-B-G.

- Daan Goosen's also here.
- I saw.

Didn't he date Nanette? Remember Nanette?
Wasn't she from Sasolburg?

Yes, but they recently moved to Pretoria.

That's why I haven't heard from her.
I was nuts about Nanette. Nuts for Nanette.

I used to call her "Naive Nanette".
Ask me why?

Why?

Because one day she asked me:
"Is Mozart still alive?"

And I was like "Nanette, I can't deal!"

Ludolf, Ludolf.
Would you like to switch seats?

Why?

Because then it will be easier
for the two of you...

Sorry man.
Talking over you like that. I'm...

- Wolfgang Muller, yes.
- Nice to meet you.

This is Johan Niemand.
We met on the train.

Where are you from?

Villiersdorp in the Cape,
not Villiers in the Free State.

- I made that mistake.
- And you're from?

From Sasolburg.

Wolfgang is a baritone,
trumpeter and an organist.

Wow! Is there anything you can't play?

- There are loads of instruments, Johan.
- I know...

How do you know each other?

- We both sang in the...
- Free State Youth Choir.

I sang in the Villiersdorp School Choir.

I'm not familiar with them.

And look, now we're all together in
Valhalla's Church Choir for the gods...

Yes. And bald.

Canaries!

Attention!

No!
Let's try that again.

Stand up straight.

Arms at your side.

Feet together!

Eyes front!

Canaries!

Attention!

Sit.

National Service is an honour.

Both the honour and duty

of every young citizen

to serve his country in a time of need.

We are here to equip you
in the line of duty.

Myself and Reverend Engelbrecht,
are your chaplains.

Ministers who are familiar
with the military

and who know how to uphold the word of
God in this situation.

All of you sitting here,

are our chosen ones.

The Canaries of 1985.

Together, over the next two years,

we will work, sleep, eat, sweat,
unwind and worship.

Here you will learn

to become the best version of yourself.

Singer.

Saviour.

Soldier.

Because it's an honour and your duty.

Let us sing.

Oh, is it my turn now?

Hello, everyone.

I'm Reverend Engelbrecht

and I think that...

the best way to begin is just to begin
so can everybody stand up. Stand up.

Basses raise your hands.

Sorry, what's your name?

- Ruan, reverend.
- Ruan, you're a tenor, right?

- Yes, reverend.
- Please, move over to the tenors.

Good, and...
Careful, careful!

Baritones, raise your hands please?

Baritones. And then to the very left,
the tenors. Raise your hands.

Good.

Everyone get out your sheet music.

We'll begin with...

the very first song.

Johan, would you give me
a B-flat on the piano, please?

No, no need, reverend.

This is your no-o-o-ote.

Thank you, Ludolf.

And...

Though like the wanderer,

the sun gone down...

No, guys.

Guys, please. You have to focus.
Focus please.

You are the property of the Defence Force.
Ambassadors of God. Act like it.

You know what to do.

Okay, let's try that again...

And...

BASIC TRAINING
Right, you cunts, listen carefully!

I'm not your mother, your brother,
or your significant fucking other...

I'm your corporal.

And my job is to make men
out of you marys.

If you shit stabbers thought you joined the
Canaries to gyppo, think the fuck again.

We're fighting
inside and outside our borders.

When the time comes
and the shit hits the fan,

you'll be on the frontline
with an R-fucking-4.

- Got me, fatso?
- Yes, corporal.

Ladies, you're going to beg me
for some routine and discipline,

cause I'm going to fuck you up so bad,

you'll be as lost as a tampon
in a whore's handbag.

I'm going to run you so far, Jesus
himself will have trouble finding you.

Shit will rain down on you so hard,
you'll feel like a ginger stepchild.

- Is that clear?
- Yes, corporal!

Get up, you useless cunts!

- You think you're Rambo, recruit?
- No, corporal.

- Then tuck away those tits!
- Yes, corporal!

I'll see you rectum rangers on the parade
ground at 6 am, for your first 2,4 km...

which you will finish in under 12 minutes.

- Is that clear, cuntface?
- Yes, corporal.

Then it's off to the mess hall for breakfast,
followed by your first inspection.

These beds better be 90 degrees,

and the floors so shiny, I should see
your cunts flapping in its reflection.

- Is that clear?
- Yes, corporal!

- Boob-troop...
- Yes, corporal!

- You got any more of those crunchies?
- Yes, corporal!

Must I fucking beg?

Thanks.

Jeez, Ludolf, what did you do
to piss him off like that?

Who?

The corporal.

God only knows and He's not saying...

Hey, hey, guys, this isn't a tea party...

Do you know what a big deal
the first inspection is?

Okay, what should we do?

I suggest you make your bed, lardass.

That's uncalled for...

Guys, sorry, can someone please explain
what he meant? He spoke mostly Afrikaans.

Then you better learn to speak it,
salt prick!

Army's supposed to be bilingual.

It's very lingual, today we speak
Afrikaans, tomorrow we'll speak Afrikaans.

After that we'll speak Afrikaans again.

It's not my fault you people are too
stupid to understand English...

- What's that, salty?
- I'm trying to read my Bible...

Shut up, lobster,
you also want a piece of me?

Okay, okay, okay.

I'm Afrikaans and I didn't even
understand him. That man mumbles a lot.

Just make sure
your corners are 90 degrees.

- How do I do that?
- You chew it.

What do you mean "chew it"?

Like this...
You know all about chewing, chubby.

Make one more joke about my weight,
just one more...

Then what?

I'll sit my fat ass on your stupid face.

Okay, okay, I'll help him with his bed,
you worry about yours.

Daan Goosen, do you still smoke?

Yes, Ludolf.

Miss De Klerk told you
at Youth Orchestra to quit...

Wow. Nice.

What?

Boy George in your Bible?

I don't know what you're talking about.

I just saw it.

Okay, please, leave it...

Show me.

- No, please, leave it alone.
- Come on show me. I want to see.

- Don't go and parade it around...
- I won't.

Wow. He's amazing.

- Him or Culture Club?
- Both.

I'm not used to people
actually liking their music.

At school I used to play, "Do you really
want to hurt me?" at parties and stuff,

and the guys would always yell: "Yes!"

- Did you DJ at school?
- Yes, you?

- Yes.
- What did you play?

Electronic music,
high-energy, Kraftwerk...

No way!

Fine, I added high-energy for effect...

No, Kraftwerk.
Do you have any of their albums?

- All of them.
- Where did you find it?

I literally forced my mother to take me
to Hillbrow Records every Saturday...

It's amazing, they have everything.

We don't have
a record shop in Villiersdorp.

I used to give the city kids money...

to buy me LP's in Cape Town.

And what did they get you?

Depeche Mode, Yazoo, Sade...

Kate Bush...

You literally just named
my entire setlist.

Okay.

Nik Kershaw, Duran Duran,
Thomas Dolby, Grace Jones...

Do you know Laurie Anderson?

Of course. "It's Sharkey's Day."

"It's Sharkey's day today."

Hey, guys, I'm trying to pray.

- Sorry.
- Sorry.

- What's his name again?
- Ruan.

Yes.

Okay, well, anyway.

I'm going to finish making my bed
so I can start chewing...

You've got good taste for a farmboy.

Thanks, but Villiersdorp's not a farm.

I still think it's impossible
for a smoker to play the trombone...

Ludolf, I played with braces for four
years. That was fucking impossible.

Hey, you guys.

- Sorry...
- What?

Are we allowed to put pictures up?

No, are you dense?

What's that?

It's a picture of my mom.

Tiaan, listen to this guy.

Army says bring a picture of your girl,
he brings a picture of his mom.

What's that on her head?

It's a bonnet.

And why's she wearing it?

It's folk dancing, she's busy with
"Aanstap Rooies." She won highest honour.

Was your dad also a participator?

More like a masturbator.

Here you go, guys! Have some crunchies
before the corporal finishes it all.

Gimme, gimme!

I want one with chocolate.

Corporal Crunchie.

Johan Niemand, close that door
before he comes back.

Don't get any on the floor...

Yes, please, guys...

Quick, cover your prick,
Canaries love dick.

What do you faggots want?

We're on bathroom duty, corporal.

Stop looking at our cocks
and start scrubbing.

Yes, corporal.

Watch.

Recruit, I dropped my soap.

Yes, corporal.

You going to pick it up or what?

Yes, corporal.

While you're down there,
how about 50 pushups?

Yes, corporal.

Let's go!

One...

Chest to the floor.

One...

Two...

Three...

Come on, come on, come on!

Four...

Five...

Six...

Six!

Yes, corporal.

Okay, okay, okay, that's enough!

What's with you?

They need to get ready for PT.

- Did you hear me, cunts? Fuck off!
- Yes, corporal.

You getting soft in your old age, huh?

Lift thine eyes,

O lift thine eyes,

to the mountains...

Stop, quickly, stop.

Guys, I only have one rule.
What is that?

Yes, Ludolf?

To know and understand
what we sing, reverend.

Yes.

We're not only working with music,
we're also dealing with lyrics.

Yes the notes add value to the words,
but the words tell the story...

Right?

How does our song start?

Ruan?

"Oh, lift thine eyes" reverend.

- To where?
- "The mountains..."

- Because?
- "From whence my help shall come..."

Yes.

Close your eyes.

Close your eyes and...

think of a moment in your life,

a moment of crisis

where you couldn't help
but cast your eyes

to the heavens and ask,

"From whence shall come my help?"

Open your eyes.

Lift thine eyes,

O lift thine eyes,

to the mountains,

whence cometh,

whence cometh,

whence cometh help.

Thy help cometh,

thy help cometh,

Thy help cometh,

thy help cometh,

from the Lord,

the Maker of heaven and earth.

He hath said, thy foot...

Thy foot shall not be moved,

Thy Keeper will never slumber.

Never sleep, never slumber.

Lift thine eyes,

O lift thine eyes,

to the mountains,

whence cometh,

whence cometh,

whence cometh help.

Whence cometh,

whence cometh,

whence cometh help.

Beautiful.

- Listen, Ludolf, I'd like to thank you.
- Don't Tiaan.

No, no, you know what,
thank you very much.

- Three 2,4's in one fucking day.
- Leave it.

Guys, we have failed
every single inspection so far.

Maybe it's time to address
the elephant in the room...

That elephant is Ludolf.

That's not what I meant. Ludolf,
I'm not suggesting you're an elephant...

If they want to fuck us up,
they'll fuck us up.

No matter how good or bad
the inspection...

No we fail every inspection
because of that fat fuck.

How many times do I have to say it,
I'm really sorry, guys.

Don't apologise, Ludolf,
it's not your fault.

Guys! It's not fair
to blame it on one person.

- Salty's getting sour.
- What?

Redneck.

What did you say?

- I called you a redneck.
- Rambo, drop it.

Why do you always do that?
Make it about folk and fatherland?

Because your grandparents put mine
in concentration camps!

Stop that!

- Guys, aren't we going to be late for PT?
- Shut up, Ruan!

Practice your dancing somewhere else.

There's no need to be rude.
I didn't do anything.

- Exactly.
- You never do anything.

Fighting with everyone is not helping.

- The two of us?
- Are you taking their side?

No, but fucking us up and inspections,

are part of their mind-games,
and you're falling for it.

Now it's our fault?

No, that's the point,
it's nobody's fault.

Of course it is.

That flabby fuck can't even do
a reversal... Come, Ludolf!

- Let me show you...
- Hey!

Take him, Tiaan! Take him!

Drop it!

Tiaan!

We're in the Canaries,
none of us are meant for the army.

- Some of us are trying to be.
- I'm also trying!

Guys, what's going on here?
Why are you fighting?

No, reverend.

Ludolf screws up all the time and
then the rest of us have to suffer.

Yes reverend, Kevin and Daan blame us.

Hold on...

Can you read sheet music?

No.

Who helped you with
"Oh, lift thine eyes"?

He did.

Who of you can sing an A?

All of us do what we can, right?

- Let's go, you're going to be late for PT.
- I told them, reverend.

Let's go.

Johan...

Yes, reverend?

Looks like you're not one
to get involved?

No, reverend.
I prefer to keep my head down.

Do you think
what happened here is fair?

No, reverend.

You know what it says
in the book of James...

"If a man knows the right thing to do
and leaves it undone, that's also a sin."

Come on, come on, chubby!

Hey, guys, wait...

Hey...

Hey, Johan, what's wrong?

No, I'm fine, I'm just going to
finish the 2,4 with Ludolf...

Hey, are you nuts?

Today I couldn't care less!

Johan, don't be stupid.

Let's go.
We've already lost thirty seconds...

Fuck it, me too.

Guys, just leave him.

Ludolf, come here!

Why did you stop?
Did someone get hurt?

We're going to finish together.

Are you keen to get fucked up today?

Whether we finish on time or we don't...

We're gonna get it anyway...
We know, Daan.

Guys, let's just earn
getting fucked up for once.

What do you think, Tiaan?

You're fucking nuts!
Let's go!

Tiaan, wait, man!

We can still make it.

What's the point?

Let's finish this one together.

Okay, fine.

Come, Pavarotti.

Up front with me.

Left, right, left, right,
go, go, go, go!

Platoon!

Attention!

You men proud of yourselves?

Why did we put you
through months of hell?

Johan?

Because the end
justifies the means, reverend.

Precisely.

And to what end?

Come on, boys!

You want to get fucked up?

Sorry, reverend.

What did you achieve
for the first time today?

To finish the 2,4 km together, corporal.

Yes, my fat friend!

Because in times of war,
it's never just every-man-for-himself.

It's always about the team.

A choir is like a battalion;

A group of orchestrated individuals
with a common goal.

Without that goal there is dissonance.

Together,

there is harmony.

Because Unity is Strength.

Did you get that?

Unity...

Is Strength, corporal!

Dismiss them.

Alright.

Enjoy the weekend pass, you wankers!

Platoon!

Dis-missed!

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

One, two, three!

Jeez, guys,
what are the chances of that?

Nice one, Johannes.

- What? I didn't do anything.
- You saved us from getting fucked up.

Boys, let's give a hand
to the Pride of Villiersdorp.

Take five!

I learned to iron quite well.
Corporal!

"All, the fields are friendly..."

- The "Pride of Villiersdorp".
- Oh no.

This isn't gonna become a thing.

Listen, what are you doing
for your weekend pass?

I haven't really thought about it, why?

Me, Daan and Ludolf are going to
Limelight on Friday night.

- What's that?
- An awesome club in Lynnwood.

Club? Cool.

You should come, if you're not busy...

No, no...

Oh, so you don't have to...

shear sheep, milk cows, sow something...

Busy with those things?

No, the lambs' "wool"
have to wait for long leave...

What did you just say?

- Nothing, I said "will wait".
- Did you just say "wool wait"?

- Jeez, that's lame.
- Fine, it's a four out of ten.

Okay, so you coming on Friday?

Yes, yes.

Okay, cool.

WEEKEND PASS

Johan!
Johan Niemand!

I'm so glad you came!

What are you wearing? That's cute.
Come dance with us.

- Hey Johan.
- Hey.

- What are you having?
- What?

- Can I get you a beer?
- Yes, thanks.

Come on, come on!
Let's go dance!

- No, no, no.
- It's Lesley Rae Dowling!

- Come on!
- Come on, Johan!

- You're being embarrassing.
- We know.

Everyone's looking at you.

- Where are you going?
- To pee.

Okay.

Sorry.

Hey.

Hey.

You okay?

It's just very stuffy in there,
but it's nice.

It's awesome.

Why are you laughing at me?

Is it...

- Is it your first time in a club?
- No!

It is, isn't it?

Okay, yes, it is, okay?

- Shame, farm boy.
- I'm from Villiersdorp...

You specially wore your
grandma's pearls for the occasion?

I hate you.

- No, no.
- I'm going.

Let's go back to the dancefloor...

Guys, guys, don't look now...

but I think Daan is on his
third hookup of the evening.

Nice one, Daan!

Nice one, Daan!

- Out the way, faggots.
- That's unnecessary.

What did you say?

Nothing.

Fucking faggots.

What?

What did you call them?

I called your friends faggots.

- Come and say it to my face.
- They're faggots.

I'll fucking bash your brains in.
Hear me!

- Daan, leave it.
- Leave him.

Me and you! Let's go!
Come on!

Cunt cries king,
but arsehole's got more grip!

Come say it to my face!

- Say it to my face!
- Ludolf! Leave it.

- You savage shit!
- Leave it!

You clutch-plate!

- Just leave it.
- Ludolf!

Let's go!

Hairy-back shit!

You lowlife!

Scumbag!

Ludolf.

Jeez!

Arsehole!

THE TOUR

- Johan Niemand.
- Yes?

- You're a heathen.
- Why am I a heathen?

Your secular repertory
needs some serious attention...

Where's the Beethoven?

Where's the Bach?
Where's the Berlioz!

- What's this, Ludolf?
- It's not mine...

- Don't touch it, reverend...
- Your hands will fall off...

So it's not church music?

- It's faggot stuff...
- Unholy faggot stuff...

You know Karma Chameleon's
lyrics better than I do.

You want his hands to fall off
so you can conduct...

We're trying to protect you, reverend.

My hands will be fine, thank you.

Seeing as the two of you are so helpful
today, you get to drive with Reverend Koch.

- Reverend, we just...
- Come on.

Look at the guy,
they should call him "Girl George" instead.

- Soggy chips. Soggy chips.
- Enjoy it, Tiaan.

Reverend, for the record, it's not mine.
It belongs to Johan Niemand.

Here you go, Johan.

You've got quite a collection
for a farm boy?

Yes, and I've "herd" them all.

Jeez, that's lame.

For four years, every Saturday...

What?

- Never mind, you're gonna laugh...
- I won't...

- I know you, you will...
- I promise I won't.

- God will strike you down if you laugh.
- Okay.

Okay.

For four years every Saturday...
I packed groceries to buy my albums.

You're going to hell.

Going straight to hell.

Don't laugh, I did it for survival...

Villiersdorp
wasn't always a bed of roses?

No.

Neither was Sasolburg.

Were you bullied at school?

Me too.

Kids used to ride their bikes past my house
and ring their bike bells repeatedly.

Why?

Cause they knew I was there,
and they thought I was weird.

What did your mom say?

Betsie Niemand's answer for everything:
"My child, you be the least of these".

And? Were you?

I just wanted
to make the bells stop ringing...

so for an entire autumn, I sold
acorns to the farmers for pigswill,

and that paid for my Sony headphones.

With the headphones on, the bike bells
didn't matter... the music did.

I'm probably just weird.

A little.

I hate you.
I'm never telling you anything again.

The world needs a couple of weirdos.

- You're also a weirdo?
- I am.

Do you know how many times
Springbok Radio's Top 20 saved my life?

"Keep your feet on the ground,
and reach for the stars."

Guys, I'm trying to read my Bible.

Sorry.

I'm going to put my headphones back on.

What are you listening to?

Bike bells. My favourite.

Check you in Deneysville.

Right, guys, here we go.

Guys, the place is packed.

Get it right for a change.

Good evening, ladies and gentleman...

Get out!

Welcome to the first performance of the

South African Defence Force
Church Choir and Concert group of 1985.

If you sing offkey, don't do it in my ears.

Sit back...

relax...

and enjoy the
evening's programme with us.

The young men behind this curtain
hail from all over South Africa

and represent the best talent
this country has to offer.

Under the capable guidance...

of Reverend Engelbrecht.

Thank you.

And smile, okay?

Smile.

When the Jacaranda blossoms in Pretoria,

turn the winter into spring.

In my heart, I fall for summer's charms,

but still I miss my man-at-arms.

Dearest draftee,

when will you come home to me?

From a far, you hear my voice call you.

March through fields for liberation,

and do your duty to our nation.

But come back to me,

my dear draftee.

When the clouds cleave the moon in two,

I am forever missing you.

Thousands of stars
hang on the firmament.

Come back to me and make it permanent.

Dearest draftee,

when will you come home to me?

From a far, you hear my voice call you.

March through dunes and sand,

and do your duty to our land.

South Africa!

But come back to me,

my dear draftee.

HOSTS

- Where are you from?
- Villiersdorp, sir.

And the two of you
are from the Free State?

Yes, sir.

- And you?
- Groblersdal, sir.

- Go fetch your photos...
- Yes ma'am.

So...

Rudolf...

Yes, sir?

You play in the front row?

I stand in the front row...

I see...

Obviously you don't get time for sports
with all the travelling...

No, sir, we don't have time for rugby
with all the singing.

Rugby? No...

- But we miss it, don't we?
- So much!

Sir, should see Rudolf
with a rugby ball.

Not just a singer,
but a rugby player as well?

- Apparently...
- Very talented, ma'am.

Maybe the Springboks
should rather start singing.

Because with all the boycotts
they're going nowhere.

Come on, old man,
leave the politics and the rugby.

- It's a bit late in the evening for that...
- But it's true.

- What was right before isn't right anymore.
- Yes, I know.

But don't go upsetting yourself.

Let's rather talk about tonight's concert.

- You were fantastic!
- Thanks, ma'am.

Everyone said you're
a choir straight out of heaven.

A choir of angels.

You are all angels.

I had to buy three records.

Bought three?

You're not bad at all.

- Better than the previous year...
- Thank you, sir.

I want you to sign all three.

Ma'am, unfortunately we don't sing
on those records, it's last year's group.

That doesn't matter,
they also stayed here.

We take a group each year.
Initially two, now four.

- Look at his lovely photos.
- Next year, six.

Look at this, sir, here's my mother
and father doing "Aanstap Rooies".

Why is she wearing a bonnet?

It's folk dancing, sir.

- Does that still exist?
- Yes, sir.

Ma'am thanks again for the tea
and milk tart.

My dear, you're more than welcome.
There will always be a bed under our roof.

Speaking of which, I'm going to mine.

You must be exhausted.

It was a long day.

- The room all right?
- Ma'am, it's perfect.

- Not too cramped?
- Not at all.

No, ma'am, thanks.

- Don't be cold.
- Thanks, ma'am.

- We've got extra blankets in the cupboard.
- Thanks for everything.

Good night, my boy.

Sir, this is me and my cousin

doing "More oompie, more tannie."

Look at that...

See how bad my eczema was in this picture.

Ma'am, I'm also off to bed.

Tired as well, my darling.

Sleep well.

Ma'am, let me take this...

to the kitchen.

No, no, my darling, leave it.

- Are you sure?
- Thank you very much.

- Night, sir. Sleep well.
- Night, son.

Sleep well, Rudolf.

Sleep well, Johan Niemand.

Ma'am, I insist on taking this.

Rudolf...

Something tells me you're still hungry?

Now that you mention it...

Come, I'll make you a sandwich,

and you tell me
how your singing started...

Ma'am, you know,
it all started with Mimi...

When I was three years old,

mother bought me one of her records...

- Poor Ludolf.
- Why?

Imagine you have to share a room...

with the Lobster.

You missed it, but after you left,
he started talking about his eczema.

No.

He showed the old man
a picture and said:

"Look how bad my eczema
was in this picture".

It's so gross.

Listen, but...
who are you supposed to be?

Johan Niemand.
Hi, have me met?

No, man.

I didn't know
you were fluent in "ma'am".

What are you...
What's "Ma'am"?

Yes, m'am, no ma'am,

- thanks for the tea, ma'am.
- Is that "ma'am"?

In Villiersdorp,
we call that good manners.

Why would you need manners on a farm?

How many times do I have to tell you
Villiersdorp's not a farm...

- Did you just shove me?
- No, I'm sorry.

I apologize. Don't! I'm ticklish!
Please, please, I'm ticklish.

No, stop, stop, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

At least
I can shear sheep and milk cows.

- That was the last time!
- What else?

- You want to know what else?
- Yes, what else, farm boy?

I can...

I can slaughter chickens, class wool...

- Harvest wheat, make jerky...
- Beef jerky?

- Expert at dung spitting.
- Not better than I can.

You challenging me?
The farm boy? At dung spitting?

Yes, I am.

No, no, okay!
Okay, okay, no, no, wait...

You can spit better than me.
I give up. You win, you win!

I swear if you spit on me...

Okay.

Okay, fine, I dare you.

- Really?
- Do it.

I will.

- Do it.
- Okay.

- Wolfgang, you just spat in my mouth.
- Sorry.

You just spat inside my mouth.

It went down my throat.

I'm really sorry, it's...

I'm going to die, going to die.

No, no, shush...

Phone an ambulance,
call the old lady. Ma'am!

Shut up, she'll hear you!

- I'm sorry.
- I'm dying.

I'm sorry.

It's the grossest thing
that's ever happened to me.

If you don't want it...

give it back.

Come and get it.

Come in.

How do you like your eggs?

Excuse me, ma'am?

Breakfast tomorrow morning.

No, please, ma'am,
don't go to any trouble.

Of course not! There's no trouble
with bacon and eggs...

- How about scrambled?
- Sounds great, ma'am.

Have a great night's rest.

- Thanks, ma'am.
- Night.

STATE OF EMERGENCY

"Think not I came
to send peace on earth...

but the sword."

Matthew 10:34.

After God expelled
sinful man from paradise,

He could've destroyed everything
He'd created.

But He didn't.

What did God do?

What does God do in His eternal wisdom?

He declares war.

He declares war
between Himself and the devil,

between light and darkness,

between us and them.

But, brothers and sisters, fear not.

We have been guaranteed of victory.

It is in Jesus Christ
that we shall be victorious.

But we have to fight the fight.

Battle this war to the very end.

Because the closer we come to the end,

the fiercer the onslaught
of Satan shall become.

And, brothers and sisters,
let me assure you...

the onslaught is severe.

The onslaught is out there.

It's in our homes.

In our streets.

In this very building.

Amongst us.

Now is not the time for peace.

Now is the time for us Christians

to take up the sword,

in order to defeat
the power of darkness.

Amen.

I gotta go pee.

Hold it in.

I can't.

Excuse me...

Though like the wanderer,

the sun gone down,

darkness be over me,

my rest a stone.

Nearer, my God, to thee.

Nearer to thee.

E'en though it be a cross,

that raiseth me.

Still all my song shall be

nearer, my God, to thee.

Nearer, my God, to thee.

Even nearer.

Even nearer.

To God!

To God!

Angels to beckon me!

Nearer, my God, to thee.

Nearer, my...

Nearer, my...

Nearer, my...

Nearer, my...

God...

To...

Thee...

I'm crazy about this song.

Move over.

That's rock hard.

- You're a rugby player?
- He played Cravenweek.

- Ma'am, that was long ago.
- Cut the "ma'am" bullshit.

My name's Arlene.
All of you. Arlene.

Arlene.

So...

What do Canaries do...

When you open their cage doors?
Do they fly away?

Yes, we fly. But we can't discuss it.

Classified information.

But before night falls,
you'll all be singing like canaries.

No secrets allowed.

I'm mad about this song.

Who can dance?

- I can, ma'am.
- Me too.

Come on! You! You, you, you!

He's Villiersdorp's
rug cutting champion.

- Shut up, Daan.
- Is that true?

Don't be shy, come on...

Come and cut my rug.

Come...

All of you, come, come, come.

Canaries don't belong in cages.
Come on.

All right then.

Mr. Glasses...

- Good evening, sir.
- Evening, sir.

Go on, don't stop.

Gerhard's too glad if someone dances
with me. He's not big on dancing.

You being naughty again?

I'm being very naughty.

Where's my kiss?

Not in front of the kids.

This "ma'am" wants a kiss.

I'm thirsty, darling.

What are we celebrating?

Little birdies...

and whispered secrets.

These birdies
look a bit light in the loafers...

Shame on you, Gerhard.
Bring the glasses.

You have to taste this!

There you go. Glasses for everyone.

Thank you, sir.

Sir, ma'am,
we're actually not allowed to drink.

- Nonsense.
- Why not?

- If Reverend Koch should see us now...
- That reverend of yours...

He should read his Bible.

Even Jesus turned water into wine.

Here's to the...

bride at Cana.

- May all water be turned into wine!
- Cheers.

Who feels like swimming?

Ma'am, we didn't pack our trunks.

Stop the "ma'am" shit.
Swim in your undies.

Let me show you!
I'll get you some towels as well...

All right then, ma'am.

Do you mind
if I look at your record collection?

Not at all.

Do you like music?

Very much, sir.

Then you should record an album one day.

We'll see.

What are you going to study? Music?

If it's up to my father,
I'll become a doctor.

If it's up to my mother,
I'll become a teacher.

And if it were up to you?

Fashion designer.

Don't tell Arlene.

Don't tell Arlene what?

I was telling him
that I'd like to study fashion design.

Now you've started something...

Fashion.

Come with me.

Come.

It's amazing.

It was my big dream...

One day...

To go overseas somewhere,
and do fashion.

But my father tried bullying me into...

becoming a teacher or a secretary
and I said "fuck it".

Got a job at Smiley Blues
in the Golden Acre Mall...

Gerhard came into my life,

and the rest is history.

That's really pretty.

Did you make this?

It's not really finished...

Don't you want to try it on?

No!

Please, I want to see it
on an actual body.

- I don't think I could.
- And I think you should.

Take off your jacket.

This is not a good idea.

It's a brilliant one.
Take off your jacket.

Here's the dress. Give that to me.

Promise me one thing...

Yes?

As soon as...

your cage door opens...

you fly away.

Away from this Godforsaken country...

with all its sirs and madams
and rules and regulations...

and all its hate and its bullies.

All its fucking bullies.

Promise me.

I'll try.

Look how pretty you are.

Why are you so sad?

I'm not sad.

Who broke your heart?

No one.

It's him, isn't it?

Biggest bully of them all.

You shouldn't allow that person in the mirror
to come between you and your happiness.

Do you hear me?

Fuck that.

I know this "ma'am" swears a lot,

but there are times when one
simply has to be able to say it.

Just say "fuck it."

Come on, say it.

Fuck it.

Fuck... it.

Yes.

I can't concentrate
when you watch me like a teacher.

- Can I show you?
- Please.

Okay.

I've got it up to there...

B minor.

Let me write it down.

Oh, sorry.

Wait, go an octave lower,
I want to try something...

Are you ignoring me?

Why?

I don't know what to say.

I brought you this.

- I'm not hungry.
- Johan, you have to eat.

Go on.

Thanks.

Now you're just showing off.

The first time I saw a picture
of Boy George, the heading read:

"Effeminate men... is this the future?"

So you put it in your Bible?

- Did you want to pray for him?
- No.

He fascinated me, okay...

One time at school, my friend Gavin
brought his tape recorder...

Gavin? Who's Gavin?

My friend Gavin.
Why do you say Gavin like that?

"Friend Gavin."

- Yes, my friend, Gavin.
- I also had a Gavin.

Please, he was my friend...

He was in Standard 8
and I was in matric...

- He was English...
- English? Can you speak it?

Yes, I can.

Wow, fancy.

Anyway...

He had his tape recorder with him and...

"Boy oh boy, I'm the boy"...

was the song that played...

I couldn't believe it was Boy George.
It was just...

so amazing.

- It broke your brain, changed your life...
- No, no, more than that...

I was obsessed,
I started collecting everything:

articles, interviews, reviews,

pictures, everything.

Why specifically him?

I don't know.

Hey, Johan...

Because I hoped
that somewhere he'd just admit...

that...

- What?
- That...

He's gay.

That he likes men...

and that Jon Moss is his boyfriend.

I just thought that if he admitted it,
it will somehow make it okay.

- But he doesn't?
- No.

He says:
"I prefer a nice cup of tea to sex".

And who can build a life on that.

But you do know he's gay?

No, I don't and you don't either.

Johan...

Look at me...

Boy George is gay.

Okay. If you say so.

And...

This is the chord you were looking for...

Gavin.

Come here.

- Where?
- Just come with me.

I don't know this fugue?

It's not a fugue.

Oh, it's a toccata.

It's "Do you really want to hurt me?"

The Lord will punish us all.

- Sweet treat?
- I'm alright.

Nice?

- Hello, ma'am.
- Hello.

I just wanted to say
I found the performance...

very interesting.
You're all very talented.

Thanks, ma'am.

Ma'am, you can speak English,
we're already stuck with this one.

I'm also English.

How has the army been?

Could've been worse...

It's fun, ma'am.
We meet lots of people.

You must've seen a lot of the country...

Yes ma'am, about 40 or 50 towns.

Have you been into the townships?

What do you mean, ma'am?

I'm asking if you've been
into the townships...

- Of course not.
- Why "of course not"?

Ma'am, we don't
quite understand the question?

Well, you represent the army, right?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Botha sends troops into the townships.

Yes.

Question is simple:

Have you been into the townships?

Yes or no?

Ma'am, that's not really the...

- purpose of the Canaries.
- Oh, what's the purpose?

We deliver a message of hope to those
who have loved ones in the army...

- By spreading propaganda?
- No, by proclaiming the word of God.

So do you represent
the army or the church?

Both.

That's a bit schizophrenic.

Ma'am, I think we need to end this
conversation now. We're not at liberty...

Kevin, Kevin, Kevin,
let the lady say her piece.

Do you really believe that the colour
of our skin makes us superior?

- No.
- No. Off course we don't believe that.

Then why are you
actively participating in this war?

We didn't have a choice. Ma'am,
we were conscripted into this war...

You always have a choice.

Do you understand
that the sole purpose of this war,

the sole purpose,

is to keep whites in power.

No, we're fighting
to keep things out of the country.

What things?

The terrorists, the communists...

People are dying in the name
of what you call "communism".

Out of the townships...

- Dying when all they want is freedom.
- From spreading like wildfire.

They just want to be free.

- Can I ask you something, ma'am?
- Sure.

- Are you a communist?
- That's not what she's saying.

- Are you a child of God?
- Yes, I am actually.

- Okay, come, let's...
- No, Kevin.

No, what?

I've got brothers and uncles
dying on the border,

to protect people like you
from the terrorists.

Don't tell me about war, ma'am.
You know nothing.

Walter, that's enough.

Take him for a walk.

Reverend, I just want to say...

How can I help, ma'am?

Reverend, I'm very upset.

I can see that, yes.

I am very upset
by what I witnessed here tonight...

What upset you?

That all of you can stand on that stage...

and pretend that God supports this war.

Ma'am, there are political...

agendas on both sides.

We are simply here to...

minister to the conscripts
caught in the middle.

Oh, what's the point?

- I think it's best I leave...
- I think it's best you do...

And I think it's best
you think long and hard

about whether you
represent the church or the army.

Reverend.

I'm a chaplain, ma'am.

A servant of God.

Then why are you wearing this uniform?

Reverend.

God.

Engelbrecht.

RUBICON

- You all right?
- Don't...

"Cherish, oh slandered one,

the reverence of your slanderer.

He admits you're worthy of slander,

because mostly he is not."

Who said that, Johan?

I don't know, reverend.

Langenhoven.

What year were you born?

1966, reverend.

In 1966 Mimi Coertse becomes

"kammersangerin" in Vienna.

True or false, Johan?

True.

Robert Kennedy visits South Africa
the same year to sow seeds of resistance.

Wolfgang.

True, reverend.

Prime minister Hendrik Verwoerd is
brutally murdered by Dimitri Tsafendas.

True.

True or false.

Right or wrong.

Verwoerd and Kennedy...

on opposite sides of the political
spectrum, but who was right...

and who was wrong?

- I don't know, reverend.
- We don't know.

The answer is Mimi.

Mimi was right.

Why do I say that, Johan?

I don't know, reverend.

Because Mimi sings.

There's a fork in the road,
which route should I take?

Speak up, boys.

There's a fork in the road,
which one do I take?

The one that will take us
to our destination...

But, how do I know which one?

- Reverend, we don't know.
- Choose, men!

- Right or left?
- We don't know.

Right or left? Quickly, men,
otherwise I'll leave it up to God.

- Dear God...
- Reverend!

Show these men the right way, Lord.

- Reverend, we don't know...
- Right or left?

Left, left, Reverend!

Left, go left!

At the end of this tour...

we're going to the border.

That's where the wheat
will be separated from the chaff.

The men over there
are in need of the Gospel.

Mimi sings...

She uses her God-given talents...

to praise the Lord.

And that's what we have to do.

Because in our hearts...

we know the difference between...

left and right,

true and false,

right...

and wrong.

Johan.

Johan. He doesn't know anything.

He basically told us he's watching us...

You give him too much credit.

He was talking
about that lady at the concert.

He was talking about us, Wolfgang.

All that stuff about right and wrong?

- Juno-60 or Jupiter 8?
- What are you talking about?

Imagine how cool it would be
if we got a synth?

Wolfgang, please, be serious.

Koch, took a shot in the dark,

now he's waiting with his rifle
till we give ourselves away...

Okay, but maybe...

just for a while, we should...

What? Sleep in our own beds?

Just till the dust settles, maybe.

Yes, Johan, be the least of these.

What we're doing is illegal, Wolfgang,
do you get that? We can go to jail.

Let's AWOL then...

- What?
- Go to England.

- You're crazy.
- Why not?

Because I'm not like you,
Wolfgang, I'm not brave.

You got a bunch of farm boys
to barn dance to Culture Club.

Because that's what everyone expects
of me, to be the weird faggot.

Well, you're being one now.

You know what?

Fuck you!

What did you just say?

I said "fuck you!"

Johan, where are you going?

- I'm going to sleep on the couch.
- Stop being childish, please.

I'm not being childish, Wolfgang.

This thing between us isn't easy for me.

You think it's easy for me?

Let me explain something to you.
My parents were born in 1919.

My father's a church elder, my mother's
the secretary of the Woman's Society.

Going to Worcester,
was a massive outing.

You think you're the only one
with conservative parents?

This would kill them.

And me? What about me?

- What about you? It's not about you.
- Because it's always about you.

You're always the victim.

It's easier for you
than it is for me, Wolfgang.

I'll be in uniform
and people will still think I'm gay.

You sail through life...
laughing everything off.

I can laugh now because I cried then.

You have no idea
what I've been through, Johan.

What, are you angry now?

- I'm pissed at you!
- I'm pissed at you too!

- Is this really what you want?
- What?

That we don't see each other anymore?

It's not about what I want, Wolfgang.

I don't think I'd be able to...

Why? Why aren't you able to?

Because I'm in love with you, Johan.

Well, me too...

- You too what?
- I'm also in love with you.

But that doesn't make it right.

Don't laugh at me.

I'm sorry.

- Get over here.
- No.

Just get over here, Johan.

- Come on.
- Leave me alone.

Does this feel wrong to you?

No, obviously not.

And this?

No.

- Wait, wait, wait.
- It's okay.

- It's okay.
- Okay, okay.

- Okay, no, wait, wait, wait.
- It's okay, it's okay.

- It's okay. Look at me.
- Okay.

- Okay, no, wait, I'm going to come.
- It's okay, okay.

Stop, stop.

No.

It's okay.

Let me.

I'll do it.

Are you okay?

No.

THE BORDER
Thank you, thank you.

We dedicate the next song to all the troops
with girls, back in South Africa.

Sorry, we couldn't bring them along.

Oh, I am missing you.

The way you wrap your arms
around me, too.

Like I long for the sun at noon,

wind in June and clouds over the moon.

Do you miss me too?

Wherever you are, whatever you do.

Do you long for the sun at noon,

wind in June, clouds over the moon?

Blow...

Breeze...

Blow...

Her back to me.

Whirl...

Wind whirl...

Bring...

Me back my girl.

"Happiness is 100 confirmed kills".

The sun at noon...

wind in June, and clouds over the moon.

I miss my moon.

...and Reverend Engelbrecht
sang so beautifully.

You see, Johan Niemand, you had no reason
to be worried. Those guys loved us.

See how they cheered after
"Funiculi Funicula?" That one guy got...

Ludolf. Ludolf!

They weren't cheering,
they were laughing.

That's not true.

- It is. I saw them. They laughed.
- Who cares?

I care, Wolfgang.

Why?

Because it's incredibly embarrassing.

We sing for them and they think we're a
joke. Know what, I agree. We are a joke.

Don't take it so seriously.

No, I'm sick of this.

Kate Bush wrote
"Wuthering Heights" at 18,

and we're on the border singing
"Troepie Doepie".

Where are you going?

To pee.

By the way, Mozart composed his
13th symphony by the age of 15, so...

Careful of the dark, Canary. Never
know what could be waiting for you...

- Sorry, I just wanted to...
- Pissing spot's over there...

Take the flashlight...

Don't want you pissing on your blues.

Here it's the least of your worries.

But for a Canary
it can get a bit hairy...

I can't even remember the last time
I saw a soldier in step-outs...

It's the cross we have to bear...

Mynie Grove performed here last year...

When she sang "Ring my bell",
the troops lost their shit...

But this year they decided
to get the fucking Canaries.

Sorry.

Must be fun to play hooky
while the rest of us do army?

Are you all a bunch of faggots
or just some of you?

Why do you say that?

Check out that fat fuck over there.
He won't last a day on the border, but...

Is he a faggot?

I don't know.

- How about you? You a faggot?
- Fuck. No!

Sorry.

I had to ask. Nowadays
they're fucking everywhere.

Wait, have a cigarette...

Thank you.

Do you have a girlfriend?

No, we...

broke up before I joined the army.

I would've done the same.

All those small towns,
with all those horny school girls.

Yes.

?And?

Did you fuck a couple of them?

What?

The school girls. Did you fuck them?

- No.
- Why the fuck not?

Because I fingered them.

Lucky bastard.

Jesus, that fat fuck's at it again.

Makes me sick.

Good luck.

Thanks for the smoke.

Pleasure, Canary. Don't worry,
your secret's safe with me.

Enjoy the hooky.

- What the fuck?
- What was that?

We'll try and find out what's going on.
Get your boots on and wait here.

Guys...

- There was a bit of an incident.
- With a cow.

With a cow, reverend?

They have a curfew rule,

if the guards in the watchtower
see anything,

they have to shoot.

So they shot a cow?

Yes.

Is the cow dead, reverend?

Obviously, Johan.

No, she fell behind a ridge,

so they can't see her from the tower.

- But can't they put it...
- No-one goes out past curfew.

No-one.

But, reverend,

how are we supposed to sleep?

Pray.

There's nothing we can do about it.

Try to get some sleep.

Pray?

Guys...

How are we supposed to sleep?

Fuck knows.

My heart's pounding like I ran a 2,4 km.

Sounds like the first symptoms
of a heart attack.

Really?

No, man, don't be stupid.

Just imagine the headlines:

"Fat tenor bites it on the border".

I prefer
"Brilliant tenor dies a hero's death".

Ludolf's our best weapon
in case the terrorists attack.

Kick him in the balls
and he'll belt a top C.

Could you stop making
fucking jokes, please?

There's a living thing dying out there.

Relax, Johan,
we didn't shoot the damn thing.

Out of my way!

- You can't go out there!
- Johan, don't go outside!

I just wish someone would slit
that fucking thing's throat...

What's going on, Johan?

Nothing.

Are you mad at me?

No.

Then why don't you talk to me?

I asked you a question, farm boy...

Could you please
stop all this farm boy bullshit?

How many times do I have to tell you...
Villiersdorp isn't a fucking farm!

- Would you like me to leave?
- Maybe you should.

- So you can feel sorry for yourself?
- I'm not feeling sorry for myself.

You always play the victim.
Clearly the only one on the border.

- It's not about the border.
- Then what is it about?

It's about you.

About me?

- About what you did to me.
- What did I "do" to you?

I was fine until you came along
and fucked everything up.

I don't know who or
what I am anymore.

You're a fuckup.
That's what you are.

Know what, fuck you!

But it's like she can't
really reach the notes anymore...

Yes.

Ludolf, keep quiet, will you?

Until she reaches the note...

I was absolutely hysterical.

Shame, but I did feel a bit sorry
for her... She was like...

Ludolf, you're being really irritating.

And in the next verse...

Ludolf, take this...

Ludolf, are you okay?

What the fuck, Johan?

VALHALLA REDUX

- Ouch, ouch!
- There, done.

Ludolf, a couple of inches south
and you were dead...

Yes, go on, make fun of me...

The doctor says it might
permanently affect my singing...

- What? Really, Ludolf?
- Yes, I might never sing the same again.

He's exaggerating...

Are you never going to apologize, Johan?

I didn't see the fucking branch, okay?

Canaries!

Attention!

At ease.

Welcome back.

Tiaan has your passbooks,
with your weekend passes in them.

When you get back,

we'll start planning
next year's programme.

Wolfgang.

Ludolf.

Johan.

Stay behind.

The rest of you, dismissed.

Congratulations.

What do you mean, reverend?

You are the programme committee
for next year.

Not really the reaction we anticipated.

- Is this going to be a problem?
- No, reverend.

Not at all, reverend.

Reverend, we are just...

We're overwhelmed with the honour.

You'll have to start as soon as you
get back, it's a massive undertaking.

But Reverend Engelbrecht has no doubt
that you are the right choice.

I still need some convincing.

Thanks, reverend. You won't regret it.

Enjoy your weekend pass.

- So I'll see you guys...
- Let's go, Wolfgang.

NINETEEN

I still find it strange...

What?

My baby brother...

A soldier.

I'm glad you're back.

Marilette, it wasn't that bad,
we just sang to a couple of soldiers.

My nerves were shot.

Yours and mom's.

- Remember to call her.
- I will. Promise.

You sure Dieter's fine
with me coming tonight?

I told you it's fine,
don't worry about Dieter.

Come! Let's go smoke.

Thanks.

Marilette,
could I discuss something with you?

What?

It's nothing serious, don't worry.

I just need to talk to someone.

What's going on?

Do you remember
that friend of mine? Gavin?

English boy?

That one mom didn't like very much?

Yes, him.

We were quite close.

A couple of kids at school
started spreading rumours...

and Mr. De Klerk called us in and
told us that, because of all the stories,

it might be better if we
didn't see each other anymore.

- Johan...
- But I couldn't...

I couldn't do it...

because...

I think...

Marilette, I was in love
with him and I think...

I'm not sure what you are about to say...

but I don't want to hear it.

I can't... I...

You're my everything, but if you're going
to say what I think you're about to say...

No.

Dieter will never accept it.

And the children, I mean...

- No, no...
- I just can't...

- No, no, no, Marilette.
- No, I can't, I just can't.

I think you've misunderstood me,
completely. Look at me.

What I wanted to say was,
it's not like that anymore.

- Not?
- No.

No, no, no.

I, I...

I was just confused.

And the army made me realise...

that it was just a phase
that I had to outgrow.

And I have.

I'm fine. I promise you.

Okay? I'm fine.

Johan...

- You gave me such a fright.
- No, no, sorry.

- I'm sorry, but I...
- No, no.

- But you do understand my predicament...
- Of course.

I'm sorry, I should've...

Earlier...

I'm going to make us some tea.

Marilette?

I have to go.

What are you talking about?

I forgot I'm on guard duty
tomorrow morning...

But I just put the kettle on...

I made you a bed
and it's your birthday tomorrow.

Sorry.

Stay until midnight...

I can't...

- Call mom, at least...
- Back at camp, I promise.

I'll take you.

No, there's an army
hitchhiking spot around the corner...

It's really fine.

Okay.

If you've got to, you've got to...

Okay.

- I love you.
- Take care of yourself.

I always do.

Okay.

Tell Dieter and the kids
I said goodbye...

Why are we stopping?

I just wanted to chat for a bit.

Okay.

In what division are you?

Valhalla Air Force Base.

Are you a Canary?

No.

What's your name?

Karel.

Do you play the piano, Karel?

No.

You should.

You have beautiful hands.

Thanks.

Would you mind if I look at them?

They are really...

incredibly beautiful hands.

I want to feel them on me.

There we go.

What's wrong?

Open the door, please.

Why?

Just open the door, please.

- No. I'll take you back to camp.
- No, no, no, no, no.

It's fine. I'll walk to Valhalla.
Just open the door, please.

- Please...
- No, it's too far...

Please, just open the door.

- I'll walk, just open the door, please.
- It's late.

- Open the door, please.
- I will, but...

- Just open the fucking door!
- I'll quickly take you...

Open the fucking door!

Open the fucking door!

Open this fucking door!

Okay.

Okay, I'll open it.

3-1-3-4-8. Good evening?

Hello, Mom.

Johan.

Congratulations
on your son's birthday, Mom.

Good heavens, is it that late?

I hope you have a wonderful birthday

and I hope that the Lord will bless
and keep you for many years to come.

My coins are finished.

I'll call you again later, Mom.

All right, my boy.

Take good care of yourself.

Goodbye, Mom.

Johan, what's wrong?

Nothing, I'm fine...

Johan, Mommy really...

Yes?

Come in.

Johan?

Reverend.

Look at you.

Reverend, reverend, help me, please.

What happened?

Reverend,
I think I'm going out of my mind...

Have a seat, Johan.

Sit over there.

Wait...

I'll be right back.

Give me your hands.

There we go.

Sorry.

What's going on, Johan?

Reverend, I just want you to pray.

Here. Now.

Because God isn't listening.

He's not helping.

Johan,

you're going to have to tell me
what's going on, for me to help you.

Reverend, I try...

really hard...

to be what I'm supposed to be,

but I just can't...

Can't what?

Change it.

Johan,

if you...

want to change something...

and you seem unable to...

it begs the question: Why would you?

- Why would I want to change it?
- Yes?

Why would I want to change it?

- What are you looking for?
- A dictionary.

Here we go.

Cause...

Reverend...

this is what the world has to say...

about who and what I am.

There.

Read that, Reverend.

Read that.

Out loud!

There!

Read!

Homosexuality:

- Johan, I can't...
- Just read it, reverend.

"A perverse,

unnatural sexual attraction
to a person of the same gender".

Johan,

- the Lord will...
- The Lord?

The Lord?

Johan...

Let me show you
what the Lord has to say...

Please.

- Read that over there.
- Just stop this now...

- Okay, I will...
- Talk to...

"If a man lies with a man, as with a woman,
both have committed an abomination.

They are to be put to death:
They deserve to die."

Johan.

What do you want me to do?

Pray, reverend.

And what should I pray for?

I don't know.

What do you pray for Johan?

To be like everyone else.

So, everything you are...

Every gift.

Every accomplishment.

All of it.
You'll sacrifice everything?

For acceptance?

Yes.

A thousand times yes!

From who do you want acceptance, Johan?

From everyone.

Johan, look at me.

From who do you want acceptance?

From God.

No, Johan...

From who?

From my family.

No, Johan, from who?

Myself, reverend.

I want to accept myself.

Reverend, I'm just sick and tired
of feeling shit...

about who I am and what I like.

So, please, pray.

Ask God...

to give me the will...

the will to want to change.

Johan,

no-one can give you that.

Reverend,
I promise I'll accept it today...

if you can guarantee me
that God accepts it.

Okay...

That's my answer then...

CULTURE CLUB

For me it's between Psalm 125 and 142...

Listen: I cry unto God.
I pour out my complaint like water.

And the tenor line is beautiful...

- Look at you! What happened to your hand?
- Can I talk to you, guys, please?

I don't expect you to forgive me,
but I just want you to know,

that I'm really very sorry.

Johan Niemand, I've already forgiven you.
I can't stay mad at you.

Come here...

And the doctor said there's no permanent
damage, so forgiven and forgotten.

Thanks, Ludolf.

I just want to get through this day,

and present Koch
with a programme at the end of it.

I understand.

Do you have any suggestions,
because I have loads.

I thought we could start with a Bach...

I've got something...

We don't have to do it, but...

I worked on it this weekend.

Oh, that's pretty, Johan.
That's beautiful.

What is it?

Culture Club.

Come on, Ludolf. Sing.

There.

B minor.

Then the choir joins.

All the earth...

Make joyful noise.

Raise jubilation

from the dust.

Praise His name and...

Sing for joy!

Sing, earth, sing...

Shout!

All the earth shout for joy!

Stop!

Stop!

If you think...

I'll allow this amoral...

subversive smut...

to be served up in this country...

you are gravely mistaken.

Reverend Koch, I think...

I'll be back in an hour.

Be sure to have better suggestions...

Reverend...

- I'm done talking.
- Reverend, we worked really hard on this.

I don't care.

But this filth won't be in my programme!

Why? Tell me why, Reverend?

Because I say so. As your chaplain,
your officer and your superior.

You don't have
to agonize over it, Niemand.

Because I...

say so.

You got that?

Yes, reverend.

Johan.

This committee is a joke, reverend...

You asked us to put together a programme,
but don't really care about our opinions.

We sing in a choir,
but we don't have a voice.

I understand how you feel. I do.

But remember this feeling.

This anger, otherwise it'll just turn
into nostalgia one day...

And for what it's worth...

I am...

unbelievably proud
of each and every one of you.

PER ASPERA AD ASTRA

- Cheers, losers.
- Cheers, Daan.

Best year of my life;
let's never do it again.

- Hey, Daan, remember those chicks!
- Bye, Daan.

- Nix, for the bed next to the door...
- Nix!

- Nix!
- Nix! Nix!

- Nice, Johan.
- No worries, guys.

- Cheers.
- Cheers, Rambo.

- Well, ladies, farewell.
- Nice one, Tiaan.

The Secunda girls are calling...

- Oh, please...
- Bye, Tiaan.

Cheers, guys. "See you next year".

Aw! Bye, Kevin.

Bye, guys!

- Bye, Lobby.
- My mom's waiting...

Bye-bye. Drive safe.

- Bye.
- Bye, Lobster.

Johan, you flying down?

No, I'm taking the train.

Thought I'd end the year
the way we started it.

A train won't ever see me again.
Gather around, you two...

A bit of culture for the journey...

Berlioz for you...

- Thanks, Ludolf.
- No, Ludolf.

And Brahms for Wolfgang.

- Thank you.
- Thanks.

Listen, you turds,

I'm going to miss you.

We'll see you next year.

Bye, Ludolf.

Okay, bye!

Bye, enjoy the flight!

This is yours.

It ended up between mine.

Oh, thanks.

You know Koch still
hasn't said to a word to me?

And? Do you care?

No.

Bye, farm boy.

Bye.

See you next year.

See you next year.

Wolfgang!

Wait!

CANARY

Dedicated to smalltown boys everywhere.