Camila Jam (2007) - full transcript
Camila (Leandra Leal) has a great passion; writing . Intense and courageous, she seeks to create for herself an existence complex enough that she can write about it. She writes compulsively on a blog, but this also makes her isolated and can only see two options in life: to kill or find the great love - whichever comes first.
Get out.
Get out, Camila.
Now!
This is my house
and I want you out!
Get out of my house!
Get out of my life! Damn!
You love me.
Stop it! Let go of me!
Stop it!
Stop it!
You fuck!
What the fuck?
Ramones!
Are you keeping this?
You hate it!
Sex Pistols!
You hate it...
You gave it to me,
but I don't want this shit anymore!
I don't want it!
What is it?
Are you trying to act
like a stupid macho guy?
That has been cheated on?
Asshole!
Did you think I would play
the stupid wife here?
You bought the whole package!
Now you can't throw it out!
You can't!
Go and complain to that prick
that was screwing you.
Fuck!
You hurt me!
You coward, you hurt me!
Asshole!
Shit!
Fuck!
You love me.
Are you done?
Get out.
Out.
Out.
He kicked me out of my own house.
I told you he wouldn't understand.
I need help to go get my stuff.
I need a place to stay, Márcio.
Camila,
this is a one-bedroom only.
I'll stay in the maid's room.
- Don't you have anything to drink?
- No, I don't.
And everything is closed
at this hour.
You should try to get some sleep.
I'm going to write
and try to calm down.
If you need anything...
just call me. Okay?
FELIPE...
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT...
YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!
You leave!
Get out, asshole!
Get out, bastard!
Prick!
Your foolish pride
is destroying everything!
So much pride.
Why?
Why so much pride
when I'm so in love with you?
Why?
We don't need that.
We don't need that.
Felipe...
NO ONE LIVES A LOVE...
UNSCATHED.
THE INTENSITY IS...
A CONTAGIOUS DISEASE.
AND I CAN'T IMAGINE A LIFE...
YOU NEVER CATCH.
I KNOW ABOUT THE PAIN
OF LONLINESS,
BREATHLESS,
NO GROUND UNDER YOUR FEET.
I KNOW NOTHING ELSE
IS IMPORTANT,
AND THE WORLD...
GETS SMALL...
AND MEANINGLESS.
So love also ends?
Not as far as I'm concerned
I know it turns into raw material
And life ends up turning it
Into hate
Or rhyme
Shit!
BALANCE CONFERENCE
FELIPE PARANHOS
195.00
600.00
In advance, for the phone bill.
- Take it!
- Thanks.
Go. Or your boss
will come and get you!
Take care.
Paula!
It's me, Camila! Paula?
Where are you?
Call me, please.
Come here and help me!
WHAT DID THE WHORE DO TO FELIPE?
Damn!
They're all kids here.
São Paulo,
July 17th, 2001.
Statement:
"My blog is not a diary.
I just write here, period."
I write because I need to.
Rather, I live because I write.
I don't want opinions,
much less judgments.
My life is my own business.
That's why there are
no comments here on what is read.
Much less about my life.
This is no interactive webpage.
You don'tlike it?
Don't read it.
FELIPE, WE CAME
TO SÃO PAULO TOGETHER.
TODAY, EIGHT MONTHS LATER...
YOU THREW ME OUT OF OUR HOUSE.
I KEEP GETTING E-MAILS...
ASKING WHAT I DID TO YOU?
AND WHAT YOU DID TO ME?
WHO BETRAYED WHOM?
YOU'RE DELETING THE PROJECT...
THAT BROUGHT US HERE.
CAN'T YOU SEE THAT BETRAYAL...
IS BREAKING WITH THE
COMPLICITY WE BUILT?
Here. It's delicious.
Silence can kill.
I hate it!
You need to eat!
Please, Márcio.
I'm fat!
You're crazy to take those pills.
Have you ever loved a medicine?
Have you ever loved
the effect of a medicine?
Hello!
He called me to say "Fuck you!"
"Fuck you, Camila."
Double standard, right, Felipe?
You fucked your cousin...
your ex-girlfriend,
half of Brasilia...
and I didn't say a word.
Now it's you and your silence.
Trying to change
my spontaneity in guilt.
Why can't I just fuck
some guy from any bar, Felipe?
You act as if the fault
were only mine.
What about you?
What is your share in it?
To wait.
To write.
FOR YOUR INFORMATION...
I DON'T KNOW WHO THE GUY WAS
WITH THE COCK THAT WAS FUCKING ME.
YOU CAME HOME AT THE WRONG TIME.
ALL THE WORSE FOR YOU.
BESIDES, WE'RE LIVING INTENSELY.
Disgusting!
Men are sick!
Fuck!
Who are you?
Who are you?
I'm the caretaker.
Are you OK?
The caretaker?
Caretaker.
"Care-taker".
I don't wanna be part
of your Internet shit.
Then make me part
of your silence.
Listen...
if you expose me again,
like you did...
- I swear I'll come back here...
- You'll evaporate...
- because you're a coward.
- Fuck you, Camila!
No one needed to know what
happened! It was between you and me.
If I hadn't provoked you,
you'd still be acting like a wimp...
the betrayed man.
- So now you are the poor guy?
- What are you talking about?
Your pride is ridiculous!
It is stupid, it is bourgeois!
Are you crazy?
What about me?
What I feel doesn't count
in this whole story, does it?
Of course not.
You didn't cheat.
I'm the one who looks for it,
and when you look you find, right?
Isn't it what you think?
Because you don't cheat.
You screw and fuck everyone...
and then you save your love and passion
for me. I'm here to pay you back.
Grab your love and passion...
stick it up your ass and forget me!
I've had enough! I'm out! OK?
You love me.
- Man, you're ridiculous.
- You are.
You're pathetic!
Look at you!
You cannot even stand yourself.
I should have taken a picture
of that ridiculous asshole...
who was screwing you...
and post it on the web so everyone
can see what a whore you are!
You're a pathetic slut!
There's more.
I was never rude to you,
I never touched you.
One more line about me
on the Internet, anything...
- my name or a word about me...
- What are you going to do?
I'll come back here
and break your face!
- Are you going to beat me up?
- Yes!
Get out of here, asshole!
You're the cheater! You are the
one who is betraying yourself!
- Fuck you!
- Fuck you!
I gave my body,
but you are betraying yourself.
Can't you see that, you fuck?
Can't you see that,
you piece of shit?
Fuck!
I swallowed a rock.
There's a rock inside me.
There's a rock.
MY ART IS MY FEAR
"I keep thinking that nobody ever
gets cured of anything, ever."
And that pain is like pores
where writing transpires.
Everything is overflowing in me.
Meanwhile, there is nothing in me.
And nobody.
I suffer from nothing,
"and nobody."
Hello!
This is she.
Who is it?
Hi, Sílvia. How's is going?
I'm fine.
What's up?
A job?
My boss now is on my back.
He was after me
the whole day long.
- You're paranoid, Márcio.
- No, I'm not.
Like you've been smoking pot.
Look at you!
Márcio...
one thing.
Please, don't try to find me a job.
I must concentrate.
I'm too distracted,
I don't focus, you know me.
And it's now or never.
I must start writing my book!
It's incredible!
The minute I'm single again
and they're all uninteresting.
I feel like I've smoked pot.
Yeah.
When I smoke pot, people look lame,
stupid, their pores look bigger...
they all stink like Cheetos.
Jeez, Camila!
Not you, Márcio!
You smoke pot
but you're a nice guy.
Good.
I have a negative balance with you.
- Yes. Yes, you do.
- Yeah.
- So go on and choose it!
- Choose what?
What is your fantasy?
Spit it out, Márcio.
Tell me, what do you want?
Do you prefer a bad funky girl
or a Californian groupie?
Or a Big Brother hot girl?
Tell me!
- Tell me what you want, Márcio.
- Let me see!
I prefer you as...
as Camila.
- Yeah, right, Márcio.
- What?
I need to fall in love again.
I writhe better when I'm in love.
Thanks.
- I don't understand!
- What?
Why men never call the next day?
I just don't get it.
- Do you really want to know?
- I know what it is.
The problem is all men in the world
are between 12 and 18 years old.
- How old are you, Márcio?
- How old do you think I am?
Fifteen.
Get real, Camila.
Take a good look at me.
You can tell I'm over 18.
I have a car...
a good job...
and...
I like a girl.
Márcio, when I'm out with you...
no one ever comes on to me.
But today
there's someone over there.
Have you noticed?
I met this guy who danced
really well, very interesting.
We were flirting and about
to commit the crime...
- How's it going?
- When his friend arrived...
Is everything okay?
This is Camila.
I fell in love right away
with Henri.
I went crazy for him!
Henri.
I could no longer sleep without...
His hands around my waist...
without kissing him in
the morning as I woke up.
DANIEL SIQUEIRA DE PÁDUA, 27.
WOULD-BE MUSICIAN.
MIGRATED TO LITERATURE...
HANDING OUT BUKOWSKI POEMS...
"IN THE WOMEN'S RESTROOM
AT THE UNIVERSITY."
CLOSE READER
OF BLOG...
PROPOSES EXCHANGE
OF LITERARY STIMULI...
WITH THE AUTHOR.
OVER. OUT.
Mari, it's Camila.
I'm in Rio.
My number here is 2267-2024.
So call me!
I want to see you. I miss you.
Bye.
- What?
- His cum is sweet.
Sweet?
I swear!
It tastes good.
Sweet!
Let's toast
to the French guy's sperm.
Thank you.
- Can I borrow your cell phone?
- All right. But...
quickly because I'm waiting
for the results of an audition.
Just wanna know if he's coming.
- What's up?
- Hi!
- Everything okay?
- Camila, this is Leo.
Leo, this is Camila, my friend from
Brasília who lives in São Paulo.
She came to Rio
after the man of her life!
A Frenchman that gives her
goose bumps all over.
Welcome to Rio.
So let's make a toast.
- To Léo and Mari.
- Wait! Waiter!
Can I have 3 more of the same?
- Strawberry, right?
- It's just wonderful!
Two strawberry
and one with Persian lime.
So tell me. How did you
end up in São Paulo?
That's another story. What matters
is that I'm in Rio today.
I'd like to make a toast
to the girls from Brasília.
- To us, Mari...
- Wait, wait...
Let's toast then...
To success...
and eternal happiness
for Camila.
I'm going for a swim!
Nothing ever works out right away.
I know.
In the end,
everything is always finished.
Only the end remains.
The everlasting end of all things.
So I dissolve before the end.
I dissolve.
Breathe. Breathe.
Easy, breathe.
Lay down.
I don't know if it's
the lack of legs, or of me.
I don't know if it's
the lack of ground.
I know it's a
softening of shapes...
a spilling of things.
A fainting.
A sigh without a body.
A beast.
It's being a beast or a wind.
As much as a person in the storm.
Or not being...
or being nothing and empty.
THERE'S NOTHING LEFT EXCEPT
TO LOSE MYSELF IN YOU...
TO DIE A LITTLE, TO COME WITHOUT
KNOWING WHY ONE'S COMING.
Your things.
You don't know me.
And I don't know who you are.
Amazing, isn't?
BUS STATION - BUS SCHEDULES,
SÃO PAULO - RIO DE JANEIRO
MARI,
THINGS ARE THE WAY THEY ARE.
IT JUST HAPPENED.
I WAS THE ONE THAT LOST.
I'M HOPING SOME DAY
YOU'LL RESCUE ME.
Your friend only paid until Sunday.
If you want to stay, you can stay...
but you need a guarantor...
or pay up a deposit
in the sum of 3 months rent.
It's Rs 1,500 by tomorrow,
cash or check.
Otherwise,
you have to get out on Sunday.
MÁRCIO,
WHERE ARE YOU HIDING?
"S.O.S.! URGENT!"
I NEED A PLACE TO STAY!
I'M GOING TO BE EVICTED TOMORROW!
IN OTHER WORDS, TUESDAY
I'M GOING TO SLEEP ON THE STREET!
"HELP! I'M OUT, I FAINT.
I'M DYING."
A horrible feeling
came over me...
to the point where
all I can think of is shit.
Fucking shit!
Shit! Shit!
Márcio, my friend from the days
back in Brasilia...
who hasn't missed reading a post
on my blog in the last 300 years...
vanished without a trace.
I'm going to suffer
lonely days and nights on end.
I'm going to lose the glow
in my eyes.
My hair is going to fall out.
I'll toss and turn in bed...
my mouth will go bitter.
I'll yearn for the earth
beneath my feet.
- How much?
- 280 bucks.
Do you accept euros?
The two of us once again
It's going to rain
- That's nice.
- Drops of love
- It's for you.
- To take with me?
- To take with you.
- Thanks.
Take all of this too, please.
All right.
Your loss.
I was writing for you.
Your loss.
It's going to rain
Drops of love
You're fucked.
He's yours now.
Thanks!
CAMILA, DID YOU HAVE TO GO LIVE
IN YOUR BLOG FAN'S PLACE?
IT'S WEIRD LIVING WITH SOMEONE
YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.
WHAT ABOUT OUR FRIENDS
IN SÃO PAULO?
DID YOU GET SICK OF THEM,
OR COULDN'T THEY STAND YOU ANY MORE?
DON'T MOVE TOO MUCH,
SO YOU WON'T BOG DOWN IN QUICKSAND.
"I'LL BE THERE IN A WEEK TO SAVE YOU.
KISSES. PAULA."
- You wanna get me drunk and fuck me?
- Yes.
Shit!
Paula is always right.
I'll pay.
What do you mean you'll pay?
I want to pay to fuck you.
Gee...
You're making me horny!
Your laptop for a blowjob!
Too expensive.
Expensive?!
How much do you think
a blowjob is worth?
Come on!
Tell me how much
you'd pay for a blowjob.
I'll sleep.
I'm tired.
Good night, Guilherme.
Hi.
I took this, OK?
CAMILA,
YOU'RE A WOMAN WITH BALLS.
REASON ENOUGH FOR ME
TO DRINK IN YOUR HONOR.
YOU MUST HAVE BUSTED ASS
TO FIND OUT THAT WRITING...
IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN DYING.
THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ME
TO REMEMBER YOUR NAME.
A KISS. MY BEST ONE.
Who are you?
My name is Camila.
I'm a friend of Guilherme's.
What are you doing here?
I'm staying here.
You're staying here?
With whose permission?
What a jerk!
So your mom is the other woman?
And I am the bastard son.
No drama, please!
Didn't he accept you?
Doesn't he give you a lot of money?
So what are you complaining about?
I have some money.
That's enough, Guilherme.
You've already
whacked off yesterday.
You had fun on me, didn't you?
When I was 13,
I opened a savings account.
I can rent a place for you.
Then you can write only.
That is my room
and this one is my girl's.
It's working.
One on the new fridge.
Paula!
I missed you!
Enjoy it, because
it was really hard to find!
I love it.
Thanks.
- This is a classical nerd!
- Yes, it is!
But nerds are pretty good.
With so many porn movies,
they'd better be good.
The sex machine behind the glasses,
the pimples...
and their thousand whack-offs.
Our next T-shirt:
"Nerds are pretty good."
- You're playing with danger!
- Isn't it the idea?
Watch out.
They're repressed perverts.
A whole life without sex!
They will go after you
with that hard...
- tireless thing.
- Stop it.
- Like an erupting volcano.
- Paula!
Let me whisper in your ear,
"Say my name, bitch!"
Years of fasting avenged
in one night.
They fuck in all ways...
every single hole of your body.
They just wear you out!
What a great porn movie!
"The Revenge of the Nerds!"
- Should we write that?
- Yes.
You are going
to play the main role...
and the movie
will be shot in your room.
Fuck!
All this on the internet?
- The jerk is good at it.
- What?
Are you crazy?
Do you think it's nice
to see this on the Internet?
If you don't care, fuck you!
I do!
Give me his phone number!
There's nothing you can do.
You're on the Web.
Everyone must have copied it
and forwarded it. That's it.
Camila, get out of my sight!
I want to kill you!
Get out!
- Out!
- Stop it, Paula!
Guilherme, this is Paula.
Get this shit out
of the Internet now!
Immediately!
As soon as you hang up!
Or I'll come over and cut off
the shitty little dick of yours!
I haven't been
that serious in my entire life!
Get this thing offline!
I'm waiting!
Paula?
Stop it, Paula!
Paula?
Paula!
He removed it!
I must organize
this chaos I've become.
The problem is that to me
chaos is order.
It's Guilherme who's paying rent.
My book.
I will make money with it.
I swear!
I'm sorry, Paula.
The problem is that I'm not
as angry as you because of that.
That's the only difference
between us.
It's one of them.
Let's improve your life materially.
I had an idea.
Let's place an invitation
in your blog:
"Camila Lopes'
House Warming Party.
We welcome a comfortable couch,
a table with four chairs..."
"And a computer desk."
DANIEL, WE KNOW HOW DIFFICULT
THE CRAFT OF LIVING IS.
BUT FEAR NOT.
UNRAVEL THE KNOT...
AND COME TO MY PARTY.
MY BALLS ARE A METAPHOR
YOU CREATED...
THAT'S ALL.
COME ON, BE BRAVE.
Hungry?
"COME. CAMILA."
Daniel?
Some guy asked me to deliver this
to Mrs. Camila. Is she home?
CAMILA'S PARTY DIDN'T HAPPEN,
BECAUSE DANIEL DIDN'T SHOW UP.
FROM DANIEL TO CAMILA
Goodbye, my girl.
Camila, you don't need...
to expose yourself so much.
What for?
Don't worry.
I'm Devil Girl, remember?
For your hangovers,
my Devil Girl.
This came in this morning. You weren't
home, so I signed the receipt.
SURVIVAL KIT.
KISSES, MOM.
Nice to meet you, I'm Rodrigo.
I'm from Ribeirão Preto.
I came to São Paulo for work...
and I want to make
new friends here.
What's your name?
There's nothing in Ribeirão Preto
interesting enough...
to make me want
to meet someone from there.
All right.
Can I offer you a glass of wine
to break the hostility?
I'm drinking vodka.
So I studied in the US
for three years, near Boston.
I'm an expert
on infrared ray detection.
- Do you know in the movies...
- Thanks.
Do you know in the movies...
when the thief
throws powder on them...
so he can move
on without being detected?
It's cool.
It was nice meeting you.
What's your name?
Beatriz.
See you later, Beatriz.
What a pain in the butt!
It happens, honey.
Beatriz, right?
Rodrigo, right?!
This is Carmem, Taís.
You're a little bit lost, aren't you?
You don't believe all this crap.
Enough!
Now buy me a drink.
I need someone...
to make me shut up.
Someone to force me to listen.
Someone to control me.
I need that to stop
looking around all the time.
I need someone to heal me.
A man to heal me.
I think that man doesn't exist.
I mean, I haven't found him yet.
But I will keep looking.
Beatriz, I need to pee.
Did you hear that, you shit?
Did you hear, you faggot?
Do you know why?
Because you can't.
You can't treat a woman right,
you fuck!
You like to bite!
Go ahead.
- I want to go.
- You turn me on...
I want to go.
Stop. I want to go.
You look ridiculous...
- naked like that. Ridiculous.
- Ridiculous?
Tell me why.
Standing there,
with your soft dick hanging.
- Grab my dick then.
- Stop it!
Leave me alone, damn it!
Come on, Beatriz.
- Come on, are you leaving?
- Yes!
Come on, put your pants back on.
What is it? Are you all right?
You're not feeling all right.
Give me your purse.
- Stop it.
- Calm down.
Calm down.
Stop it.
Give me your purse here.
Why don't you go take a piss?
Go! Go!
Go to the bathroom.
- Go after that other girl.
- What other girl? I'm with you.
Go!
- Go with that other girl at the bar.
- Come on, Beatriz.
I'm with you.
I'm with you.
Let's enjoy it.
Come on.
- I'm not going to sleep with you.
- We can do it very softly.
It's all right.
It's all right.
You wanna grab my little dick?
Here.
- You fuck!
- Hey!
Don't hit me, all right?
No hitting, all right?
Give me a hug.
- I don't want to.
- You don't?
Come here.
There you go, give me a hug.
Isn't this good?
You don't know.
You don't know.
- You don't know.
- I know, I'm going to control you.
- You can't.
- I'm going to control you.
- You can't.
- I'm going to control you.
Come here.
I'm caressing you.
Like that.
- Kiss me, damn it!
- I'm going to.
You like to bite, don't you?
Stop it!
You make me horny, damn it!
- But you don't.
- I don't?
No.
I'm not going to sleep with you.
Like that.
You're not man enough.
You're not man enough for me.
You're not man enough for me.
You're not man enough for me.
Let me be.
Let me be.
What a fucking faggot.
Do you want me to hit you?
- Faggot! Faggot!
- I'm not going to hit you.
Holy fuck!
This is so...
Little shit!
- Yes, because you're hitting me.
- Shit!
- You want me to control you?
- You can't do it. You can't.
Come here. Come here.
Go ahead and try.
I want to see you.
Fuck!
Yeah! Yeah!
Now, fuck me, damn it!
Is this what you want?
The days go by, my body rots.
Bodies rot...
Therefore I am nothing but words.
When I write, I assent myself.
When I speak, I gain meaning.
When I think, I gain body.
My body, word.
SAVE AS "BOOK.DOC"
Who is it?
I'm the lawyer representing
the Lebovitz family...
and I need your signature...
in this agreement canceling
the rent of the apartment.
What if I don't sign it?
It's your decision.
But if you sign it...
they'll pay your rent
for three months.
Otherwise, we will follow
the appropriate actions.
How much do you get paid
to do that?
If I were you, I'd sign it.
Fuck Kerouac!
I'm not going to write anything.
I'm going out.
I'll find some boys.
I'll work as a waitress at Charles'.
I want lots of tips
and hands on my ass.
I'll become a sex object,
that's real life!
Alone?
And vaccinated against
any possible stupid lines.
Wow! Irritable,
just like the character.
What character?
"Ask the lonely trees
where Mojave begins."
Ask them about Camila...
"and they will whisper her name."
Why are you quoting Fante,
do you know me?
I don't know if I know you.
My name is Daniel.
Daniel who?
Siqueira de Pádua.
- From the e-mails?
- It's me.
You're a sadistic prick.
Why?
Every day I checked e-mails looking
for you and you weren't there.
So I began to make you up.
I needed that, understand?
You never showed up,
so I began to make you up.
You sent me flowers
and didn't show up.
Youve made me read 38 e-mails
over and over again...
looking for you in each phrase.
Trying to find out on which one
of them youve been hiding...
Now you show up out of the blue?
- You are Daniel!
- Yeah, it's me.
Nice to fucking meet you, Daniel!
I live inside my mind,
and I like it.
So good night.
I prefer to go home and sleep.
So I can have Daniel back.
My Daniel.
Yeah...
Good night.
I don't know
if I really want to meet you!
Camila...
doesn't fiction happen to you
all the time?
So rewrite me.
Do you want to marry me?
I never want to sleep
without you.
Never again.
I asked you not to
let go of my hand...
and even as we slept,
you didn't.
I'm scared.
You're perfect for me.
All.
Everything.
From your voice
to the size of your cock.
Now I don't mind...
I don't think anything...
I don't care about anything.
I've given myself up in you.
Nothing has ever been this good.
This is for you, my favorite slut.
TODAY I'M GOING TO SEARCH
FOR THE LOST WORD...
THAT SLIPPED
THROUGH MY FINGERS,
THAT SLID FROM MY HANDS.
TODAY I'M GOING TO CONTAIN
IN WRITING THIS STUPID FLOW...
THAT WON'T STOP SWEEPING ME
FAR AWAY FROM HERE.
TODAY I'M GOING TO SIT STILL...
WHILE THE PHRASES TAKE SHAPE...
WHILE WHOLE PARAGRAPHS...
ARE FIXED ON THE SCREEN.
SOME OF THEM ESCAPE.
AND I LET THEM ESCAPE...
BECAUSE I KNOW I CAN CATCH UP...
WITH THEM LATER ON, EVEN BETTER.
I'M NO LONGER DESPERATE.
I FOUND THE RIVERBED
FOR MY OVERFLOW.
Hello, Daniel.
It's me.
Camila.
I'd like to talk to you.
I have your pink lighter.
So call me.
Bye.
He's trying to defend himself?
Defend from what, Paula?
This is too cliché.
So he's afraid of love?
I don't believe that!
This is for women who don't want
to admit they're history!
That's not what happened.
Yes, he liked me.
He looked into my eyes!
He stayed here!
It was wonderful!
No, I'm not history.
Maybe he's dead!
I'm sorry, Paula.
I know it's long distance.
But what happened, Paula?
I'm empty.
My apartment is empty.
São Paulo is empty.
The world is empty.
I meant to give you
my last tear...
but I'm dry.
I can't even cry.
One more.
I won't be a victim of this guy.
He will be my victim.
Let's call for the check.
- Let's order another one.
- Let's call for the check.
What's your name?
- Aurora.
- Aurora.
Camila.
- All right. Yeah.
- Do you have fire?
Camila, please!
We'll talk later, all right?
- Aurora?
- Yes?
Do you think he's afraid?
Maybe he thinks
I'll make a scene here.
Listen, Camila.
I know we need to talk, all right?
But not now, okay?
Not like that.
All right?
- Let's go, guys.
- Aurora, he's afraid.
- Let's go.
- What's the matter?
He thinks I'll put out
this cigarette on his face.
Stop it, Camila! Goddamn it!
- Give me a break!
- Let go of me!
- What a shame!
- Get a grip, girl!
Later my ass, Daniel!
- Let me go after this chicken shit!
- Not like that! No way!
- Yes, I will! I will!
- Hold on, don't do it like that.
- Who the fuck are you?
- I'm Daniel's best friend.
So tell me where he went.
Tell me where he's going.
Camila, give him a break!
He's going through a hard time.
Fuck he is!
I'm the one having a hard time.
I waited for him
for days and days at home...
staring at the phone
like a crazy bitch!
So I get here
and he doesn't even talk to me?
Who is this fucking Aurora?
Who is she? Who is she?
Tell me where he went.
I need to talk to him!
If I don't, I'm gonna go crazy!
This is ridiculous.
You're a jerk.
Couldn't you have sent me an e-mail?
Or called me back?
- Camila, I'm in love with Aurora.
- Stop it. It's not true.
It can't be, Daniel!
Tell me what happened!
What about those 3 days
we had at my place?
- Was that fiction?
- No, it wasn't. It was real.
But the way you talk about it,
it was more real for you...
- with the Daniel you made up.
- Fuck you, Daniel!
Don't use what I said.
Isn't it how you
introduced yourself?
Didn't you want to be rewritten?
And now?
Now the book has ended.
Period.
Shit!
I'm not crazy.
I know exactly what we had.
Now it doesn't matter
what you'll do with it.
Do what you want, what you can.
Fuck it!
The only thing I wanted back
is what you took from me.
- What did I take from you?
- My ability to trust.
CAMILA LEFT THE PARTY TRYING...
TO DISGUISE HER PAIN.
AS SOON
AS SHE WAS ALONE, SHE WEPT.
SHE WEPT IN THE ELEVATOR, SHE WEPT
IN THE HALLWAY AND IN THE STREET.
SHE WALKED OVER TO
THE NEAREST BUS STOP.
SHE CAUGHT THE FIRST BUS
THAT WOULD LEAVE HER NEAR HOME.
SHE WEPT ON THE BUS.
AT HOME, SHE NESTLED INTO THE
BEANBAG CHAIR AND QUIETED DOWN.
Sometimes they break my legs,
they kick me in the face...
they stomp on my fingers.
I survive.
I've always survived.
I'm scarred. Yes.
But I make the most of each
and every one of my scars.
Camila JAM
Get out, Camila.
Now!
This is my house
and I want you out!
Get out of my house!
Get out of my life! Damn!
You love me.
Stop it! Let go of me!
Stop it!
Stop it!
You fuck!
What the fuck?
Ramones!
Are you keeping this?
You hate it!
Sex Pistols!
You hate it...
You gave it to me,
but I don't want this shit anymore!
I don't want it!
What is it?
Are you trying to act
like a stupid macho guy?
That has been cheated on?
Asshole!
Did you think I would play
the stupid wife here?
You bought the whole package!
Now you can't throw it out!
You can't!
Go and complain to that prick
that was screwing you.
Fuck!
You hurt me!
You coward, you hurt me!
Asshole!
Shit!
Fuck!
You love me.
Are you done?
Get out.
Out.
Out.
He kicked me out of my own house.
I told you he wouldn't understand.
I need help to go get my stuff.
I need a place to stay, Márcio.
Camila,
this is a one-bedroom only.
I'll stay in the maid's room.
- Don't you have anything to drink?
- No, I don't.
And everything is closed
at this hour.
You should try to get some sleep.
I'm going to write
and try to calm down.
If you need anything...
just call me. Okay?
FELIPE...
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT...
YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!
You leave!
Get out, asshole!
Get out, bastard!
Prick!
Your foolish pride
is destroying everything!
So much pride.
Why?
Why so much pride
when I'm so in love with you?
Why?
We don't need that.
We don't need that.
Felipe...
NO ONE LIVES A LOVE...
UNSCATHED.
THE INTENSITY IS...
A CONTAGIOUS DISEASE.
AND I CAN'T IMAGINE A LIFE...
YOU NEVER CATCH.
I KNOW ABOUT THE PAIN
OF LONLINESS,
BREATHLESS,
NO GROUND UNDER YOUR FEET.
I KNOW NOTHING ELSE
IS IMPORTANT,
AND THE WORLD...
GETS SMALL...
AND MEANINGLESS.
So love also ends?
Not as far as I'm concerned
I know it turns into raw material
And life ends up turning it
Into hate
Or rhyme
Shit!
BALANCE CONFERENCE
FELIPE PARANHOS
195.00
600.00
In advance, for the phone bill.
- Take it!
- Thanks.
Go. Or your boss
will come and get you!
Take care.
Paula!
It's me, Camila! Paula?
Where are you?
Call me, please.
Come here and help me!
WHAT DID THE WHORE DO TO FELIPE?
Damn!
They're all kids here.
São Paulo,
July 17th, 2001.
Statement:
"My blog is not a diary.
I just write here, period."
I write because I need to.
Rather, I live because I write.
I don't want opinions,
much less judgments.
My life is my own business.
That's why there are
no comments here on what is read.
Much less about my life.
This is no interactive webpage.
You don'tlike it?
Don't read it.
FELIPE, WE CAME
TO SÃO PAULO TOGETHER.
TODAY, EIGHT MONTHS LATER...
YOU THREW ME OUT OF OUR HOUSE.
I KEEP GETTING E-MAILS...
ASKING WHAT I DID TO YOU?
AND WHAT YOU DID TO ME?
WHO BETRAYED WHOM?
YOU'RE DELETING THE PROJECT...
THAT BROUGHT US HERE.
CAN'T YOU SEE THAT BETRAYAL...
IS BREAKING WITH THE
COMPLICITY WE BUILT?
Here. It's delicious.
Silence can kill.
I hate it!
You need to eat!
Please, Márcio.
I'm fat!
You're crazy to take those pills.
Have you ever loved a medicine?
Have you ever loved
the effect of a medicine?
Hello!
He called me to say "Fuck you!"
"Fuck you, Camila."
Double standard, right, Felipe?
You fucked your cousin...
your ex-girlfriend,
half of Brasilia...
and I didn't say a word.
Now it's you and your silence.
Trying to change
my spontaneity in guilt.
Why can't I just fuck
some guy from any bar, Felipe?
You act as if the fault
were only mine.
What about you?
What is your share in it?
To wait.
To write.
FOR YOUR INFORMATION...
I DON'T KNOW WHO THE GUY WAS
WITH THE COCK THAT WAS FUCKING ME.
YOU CAME HOME AT THE WRONG TIME.
ALL THE WORSE FOR YOU.
BESIDES, WE'RE LIVING INTENSELY.
Disgusting!
Men are sick!
Fuck!
Who are you?
Who are you?
I'm the caretaker.
Are you OK?
The caretaker?
Caretaker.
"Care-taker".
I don't wanna be part
of your Internet shit.
Then make me part
of your silence.
Listen...
if you expose me again,
like you did...
- I swear I'll come back here...
- You'll evaporate...
- because you're a coward.
- Fuck you, Camila!
No one needed to know what
happened! It was between you and me.
If I hadn't provoked you,
you'd still be acting like a wimp...
the betrayed man.
- So now you are the poor guy?
- What are you talking about?
Your pride is ridiculous!
It is stupid, it is bourgeois!
Are you crazy?
What about me?
What I feel doesn't count
in this whole story, does it?
Of course not.
You didn't cheat.
I'm the one who looks for it,
and when you look you find, right?
Isn't it what you think?
Because you don't cheat.
You screw and fuck everyone...
and then you save your love and passion
for me. I'm here to pay you back.
Grab your love and passion...
stick it up your ass and forget me!
I've had enough! I'm out! OK?
You love me.
- Man, you're ridiculous.
- You are.
You're pathetic!
Look at you!
You cannot even stand yourself.
I should have taken a picture
of that ridiculous asshole...
who was screwing you...
and post it on the web so everyone
can see what a whore you are!
You're a pathetic slut!
There's more.
I was never rude to you,
I never touched you.
One more line about me
on the Internet, anything...
- my name or a word about me...
- What are you going to do?
I'll come back here
and break your face!
- Are you going to beat me up?
- Yes!
Get out of here, asshole!
You're the cheater! You are the
one who is betraying yourself!
- Fuck you!
- Fuck you!
I gave my body,
but you are betraying yourself.
Can't you see that, you fuck?
Can't you see that,
you piece of shit?
Fuck!
I swallowed a rock.
There's a rock inside me.
There's a rock.
MY ART IS MY FEAR
"I keep thinking that nobody ever
gets cured of anything, ever."
And that pain is like pores
where writing transpires.
Everything is overflowing in me.
Meanwhile, there is nothing in me.
And nobody.
I suffer from nothing,
"and nobody."
Hello!
This is she.
Who is it?
Hi, Sílvia. How's is going?
I'm fine.
What's up?
A job?
My boss now is on my back.
He was after me
the whole day long.
- You're paranoid, Márcio.
- No, I'm not.
Like you've been smoking pot.
Look at you!
Márcio...
one thing.
Please, don't try to find me a job.
I must concentrate.
I'm too distracted,
I don't focus, you know me.
And it's now or never.
I must start writing my book!
It's incredible!
The minute I'm single again
and they're all uninteresting.
I feel like I've smoked pot.
Yeah.
When I smoke pot, people look lame,
stupid, their pores look bigger...
they all stink like Cheetos.
Jeez, Camila!
Not you, Márcio!
You smoke pot
but you're a nice guy.
Good.
I have a negative balance with you.
- Yes. Yes, you do.
- Yeah.
- So go on and choose it!
- Choose what?
What is your fantasy?
Spit it out, Márcio.
Tell me, what do you want?
Do you prefer a bad funky girl
or a Californian groupie?
Or a Big Brother hot girl?
Tell me!
- Tell me what you want, Márcio.
- Let me see!
I prefer you as...
as Camila.
- Yeah, right, Márcio.
- What?
I need to fall in love again.
I writhe better when I'm in love.
Thanks.
- I don't understand!
- What?
Why men never call the next day?
I just don't get it.
- Do you really want to know?
- I know what it is.
The problem is all men in the world
are between 12 and 18 years old.
- How old are you, Márcio?
- How old do you think I am?
Fifteen.
Get real, Camila.
Take a good look at me.
You can tell I'm over 18.
I have a car...
a good job...
and...
I like a girl.
Márcio, when I'm out with you...
no one ever comes on to me.
But today
there's someone over there.
Have you noticed?
I met this guy who danced
really well, very interesting.
We were flirting and about
to commit the crime...
- How's it going?
- When his friend arrived...
Is everything okay?
This is Camila.
I fell in love right away
with Henri.
I went crazy for him!
Henri.
I could no longer sleep without...
His hands around my waist...
without kissing him in
the morning as I woke up.
DANIEL SIQUEIRA DE PÁDUA, 27.
WOULD-BE MUSICIAN.
MIGRATED TO LITERATURE...
HANDING OUT BUKOWSKI POEMS...
"IN THE WOMEN'S RESTROOM
AT THE UNIVERSITY."
CLOSE READER
OF BLOG...
PROPOSES EXCHANGE
OF LITERARY STIMULI...
WITH THE AUTHOR.
OVER. OUT.
Mari, it's Camila.
I'm in Rio.
My number here is 2267-2024.
So call me!
I want to see you. I miss you.
Bye.
- What?
- His cum is sweet.
Sweet?
I swear!
It tastes good.
Sweet!
Let's toast
to the French guy's sperm.
Thank you.
- Can I borrow your cell phone?
- All right. But...
quickly because I'm waiting
for the results of an audition.
Just wanna know if he's coming.
- What's up?
- Hi!
- Everything okay?
- Camila, this is Leo.
Leo, this is Camila, my friend from
Brasília who lives in São Paulo.
She came to Rio
after the man of her life!
A Frenchman that gives her
goose bumps all over.
Welcome to Rio.
So let's make a toast.
- To Léo and Mari.
- Wait! Waiter!
Can I have 3 more of the same?
- Strawberry, right?
- It's just wonderful!
Two strawberry
and one with Persian lime.
So tell me. How did you
end up in São Paulo?
That's another story. What matters
is that I'm in Rio today.
I'd like to make a toast
to the girls from Brasília.
- To us, Mari...
- Wait, wait...
Let's toast then...
To success...
and eternal happiness
for Camila.
I'm going for a swim!
Nothing ever works out right away.
I know.
In the end,
everything is always finished.
Only the end remains.
The everlasting end of all things.
So I dissolve before the end.
I dissolve.
Breathe. Breathe.
Easy, breathe.
Lay down.
I don't know if it's
the lack of legs, or of me.
I don't know if it's
the lack of ground.
I know it's a
softening of shapes...
a spilling of things.
A fainting.
A sigh without a body.
A beast.
It's being a beast or a wind.
As much as a person in the storm.
Or not being...
or being nothing and empty.
THERE'S NOTHING LEFT EXCEPT
TO LOSE MYSELF IN YOU...
TO DIE A LITTLE, TO COME WITHOUT
KNOWING WHY ONE'S COMING.
Your things.
You don't know me.
And I don't know who you are.
Amazing, isn't?
BUS STATION - BUS SCHEDULES,
SÃO PAULO - RIO DE JANEIRO
MARI,
THINGS ARE THE WAY THEY ARE.
IT JUST HAPPENED.
I WAS THE ONE THAT LOST.
I'M HOPING SOME DAY
YOU'LL RESCUE ME.
Your friend only paid until Sunday.
If you want to stay, you can stay...
but you need a guarantor...
or pay up a deposit
in the sum of 3 months rent.
It's Rs 1,500 by tomorrow,
cash or check.
Otherwise,
you have to get out on Sunday.
MÁRCIO,
WHERE ARE YOU HIDING?
"S.O.S.! URGENT!"
I NEED A PLACE TO STAY!
I'M GOING TO BE EVICTED TOMORROW!
IN OTHER WORDS, TUESDAY
I'M GOING TO SLEEP ON THE STREET!
"HELP! I'M OUT, I FAINT.
I'M DYING."
A horrible feeling
came over me...
to the point where
all I can think of is shit.
Fucking shit!
Shit! Shit!
Márcio, my friend from the days
back in Brasilia...
who hasn't missed reading a post
on my blog in the last 300 years...
vanished without a trace.
I'm going to suffer
lonely days and nights on end.
I'm going to lose the glow
in my eyes.
My hair is going to fall out.
I'll toss and turn in bed...
my mouth will go bitter.
I'll yearn for the earth
beneath my feet.
- How much?
- 280 bucks.
Do you accept euros?
The two of us once again
It's going to rain
- That's nice.
- Drops of love
- It's for you.
- To take with me?
- To take with you.
- Thanks.
Take all of this too, please.
All right.
Your loss.
I was writing for you.
Your loss.
It's going to rain
Drops of love
You're fucked.
He's yours now.
Thanks!
CAMILA, DID YOU HAVE TO GO LIVE
IN YOUR BLOG FAN'S PLACE?
IT'S WEIRD LIVING WITH SOMEONE
YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.
WHAT ABOUT OUR FRIENDS
IN SÃO PAULO?
DID YOU GET SICK OF THEM,
OR COULDN'T THEY STAND YOU ANY MORE?
DON'T MOVE TOO MUCH,
SO YOU WON'T BOG DOWN IN QUICKSAND.
"I'LL BE THERE IN A WEEK TO SAVE YOU.
KISSES. PAULA."
- You wanna get me drunk and fuck me?
- Yes.
Shit!
Paula is always right.
I'll pay.
What do you mean you'll pay?
I want to pay to fuck you.
Gee...
You're making me horny!
Your laptop for a blowjob!
Too expensive.
Expensive?!
How much do you think
a blowjob is worth?
Come on!
Tell me how much
you'd pay for a blowjob.
I'll sleep.
I'm tired.
Good night, Guilherme.
Hi.
I took this, OK?
CAMILA,
YOU'RE A WOMAN WITH BALLS.
REASON ENOUGH FOR ME
TO DRINK IN YOUR HONOR.
YOU MUST HAVE BUSTED ASS
TO FIND OUT THAT WRITING...
IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN DYING.
THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ME
TO REMEMBER YOUR NAME.
A KISS. MY BEST ONE.
Who are you?
My name is Camila.
I'm a friend of Guilherme's.
What are you doing here?
I'm staying here.
You're staying here?
With whose permission?
What a jerk!
So your mom is the other woman?
And I am the bastard son.
No drama, please!
Didn't he accept you?
Doesn't he give you a lot of money?
So what are you complaining about?
I have some money.
That's enough, Guilherme.
You've already
whacked off yesterday.
You had fun on me, didn't you?
When I was 13,
I opened a savings account.
I can rent a place for you.
Then you can write only.
That is my room
and this one is my girl's.
It's working.
One on the new fridge.
Paula!
I missed you!
Enjoy it, because
it was really hard to find!
I love it.
Thanks.
- This is a classical nerd!
- Yes, it is!
But nerds are pretty good.
With so many porn movies,
they'd better be good.
The sex machine behind the glasses,
the pimples...
and their thousand whack-offs.
Our next T-shirt:
"Nerds are pretty good."
- You're playing with danger!
- Isn't it the idea?
Watch out.
They're repressed perverts.
A whole life without sex!
They will go after you
with that hard...
- tireless thing.
- Stop it.
- Like an erupting volcano.
- Paula!
Let me whisper in your ear,
"Say my name, bitch!"
Years of fasting avenged
in one night.
They fuck in all ways...
every single hole of your body.
They just wear you out!
What a great porn movie!
"The Revenge of the Nerds!"
- Should we write that?
- Yes.
You are going
to play the main role...
and the movie
will be shot in your room.
Fuck!
All this on the internet?
- The jerk is good at it.
- What?
Are you crazy?
Do you think it's nice
to see this on the Internet?
If you don't care, fuck you!
I do!
Give me his phone number!
There's nothing you can do.
You're on the Web.
Everyone must have copied it
and forwarded it. That's it.
Camila, get out of my sight!
I want to kill you!
Get out!
- Out!
- Stop it, Paula!
Guilherme, this is Paula.
Get this shit out
of the Internet now!
Immediately!
As soon as you hang up!
Or I'll come over and cut off
the shitty little dick of yours!
I haven't been
that serious in my entire life!
Get this thing offline!
I'm waiting!
Paula?
Stop it, Paula!
Paula?
Paula!
He removed it!
I must organize
this chaos I've become.
The problem is that to me
chaos is order.
It's Guilherme who's paying rent.
My book.
I will make money with it.
I swear!
I'm sorry, Paula.
The problem is that I'm not
as angry as you because of that.
That's the only difference
between us.
It's one of them.
Let's improve your life materially.
I had an idea.
Let's place an invitation
in your blog:
"Camila Lopes'
House Warming Party.
We welcome a comfortable couch,
a table with four chairs..."
"And a computer desk."
DANIEL, WE KNOW HOW DIFFICULT
THE CRAFT OF LIVING IS.
BUT FEAR NOT.
UNRAVEL THE KNOT...
AND COME TO MY PARTY.
MY BALLS ARE A METAPHOR
YOU CREATED...
THAT'S ALL.
COME ON, BE BRAVE.
Hungry?
"COME. CAMILA."
Daniel?
Some guy asked me to deliver this
to Mrs. Camila. Is she home?
CAMILA'S PARTY DIDN'T HAPPEN,
BECAUSE DANIEL DIDN'T SHOW UP.
FROM DANIEL TO CAMILA
Goodbye, my girl.
Camila, you don't need...
to expose yourself so much.
What for?
Don't worry.
I'm Devil Girl, remember?
For your hangovers,
my Devil Girl.
This came in this morning. You weren't
home, so I signed the receipt.
SURVIVAL KIT.
KISSES, MOM.
Nice to meet you, I'm Rodrigo.
I'm from Ribeirão Preto.
I came to São Paulo for work...
and I want to make
new friends here.
What's your name?
There's nothing in Ribeirão Preto
interesting enough...
to make me want
to meet someone from there.
All right.
Can I offer you a glass of wine
to break the hostility?
I'm drinking vodka.
So I studied in the US
for three years, near Boston.
I'm an expert
on infrared ray detection.
- Do you know in the movies...
- Thanks.
Do you know in the movies...
when the thief
throws powder on them...
so he can move
on without being detected?
It's cool.
It was nice meeting you.
What's your name?
Beatriz.
See you later, Beatriz.
What a pain in the butt!
It happens, honey.
Beatriz, right?
Rodrigo, right?!
This is Carmem, Taís.
You're a little bit lost, aren't you?
You don't believe all this crap.
Enough!
Now buy me a drink.
I need someone...
to make me shut up.
Someone to force me to listen.
Someone to control me.
I need that to stop
looking around all the time.
I need someone to heal me.
A man to heal me.
I think that man doesn't exist.
I mean, I haven't found him yet.
But I will keep looking.
Beatriz, I need to pee.
Did you hear that, you shit?
Did you hear, you faggot?
Do you know why?
Because you can't.
You can't treat a woman right,
you fuck!
You like to bite!
Go ahead.
- I want to go.
- You turn me on...
I want to go.
Stop. I want to go.
You look ridiculous...
- naked like that. Ridiculous.
- Ridiculous?
Tell me why.
Standing there,
with your soft dick hanging.
- Grab my dick then.
- Stop it!
Leave me alone, damn it!
Come on, Beatriz.
- Come on, are you leaving?
- Yes!
Come on, put your pants back on.
What is it? Are you all right?
You're not feeling all right.
Give me your purse.
- Stop it.
- Calm down.
Calm down.
Stop it.
Give me your purse here.
Why don't you go take a piss?
Go! Go!
Go to the bathroom.
- Go after that other girl.
- What other girl? I'm with you.
Go!
- Go with that other girl at the bar.
- Come on, Beatriz.
I'm with you.
I'm with you.
Let's enjoy it.
Come on.
- I'm not going to sleep with you.
- We can do it very softly.
It's all right.
It's all right.
You wanna grab my little dick?
Here.
- You fuck!
- Hey!
Don't hit me, all right?
No hitting, all right?
Give me a hug.
- I don't want to.
- You don't?
Come here.
There you go, give me a hug.
Isn't this good?
You don't know.
You don't know.
- You don't know.
- I know, I'm going to control you.
- You can't.
- I'm going to control you.
- You can't.
- I'm going to control you.
Come here.
I'm caressing you.
Like that.
- Kiss me, damn it!
- I'm going to.
You like to bite, don't you?
Stop it!
You make me horny, damn it!
- But you don't.
- I don't?
No.
I'm not going to sleep with you.
Like that.
You're not man enough.
You're not man enough for me.
You're not man enough for me.
You're not man enough for me.
Let me be.
Let me be.
What a fucking faggot.
Do you want me to hit you?
- Faggot! Faggot!
- I'm not going to hit you.
Holy fuck!
This is so...
Little shit!
- Yes, because you're hitting me.
- Shit!
- You want me to control you?
- You can't do it. You can't.
Come here. Come here.
Go ahead and try.
I want to see you.
Fuck!
Yeah! Yeah!
Now, fuck me, damn it!
Is this what you want?
The days go by, my body rots.
Bodies rot...
Therefore I am nothing but words.
When I write, I assent myself.
When I speak, I gain meaning.
When I think, I gain body.
My body, word.
SAVE AS "BOOK.DOC"
Who is it?
I'm the lawyer representing
the Lebovitz family...
and I need your signature...
in this agreement canceling
the rent of the apartment.
What if I don't sign it?
It's your decision.
But if you sign it...
they'll pay your rent
for three months.
Otherwise, we will follow
the appropriate actions.
How much do you get paid
to do that?
If I were you, I'd sign it.
Fuck Kerouac!
I'm not going to write anything.
I'm going out.
I'll find some boys.
I'll work as a waitress at Charles'.
I want lots of tips
and hands on my ass.
I'll become a sex object,
that's real life!
Alone?
And vaccinated against
any possible stupid lines.
Wow! Irritable,
just like the character.
What character?
"Ask the lonely trees
where Mojave begins."
Ask them about Camila...
"and they will whisper her name."
Why are you quoting Fante,
do you know me?
I don't know if I know you.
My name is Daniel.
Daniel who?
Siqueira de Pádua.
- From the e-mails?
- It's me.
You're a sadistic prick.
Why?
Every day I checked e-mails looking
for you and you weren't there.
So I began to make you up.
I needed that, understand?
You never showed up,
so I began to make you up.
You sent me flowers
and didn't show up.
Youve made me read 38 e-mails
over and over again...
looking for you in each phrase.
Trying to find out on which one
of them youve been hiding...
Now you show up out of the blue?
- You are Daniel!
- Yeah, it's me.
Nice to fucking meet you, Daniel!
I live inside my mind,
and I like it.
So good night.
I prefer to go home and sleep.
So I can have Daniel back.
My Daniel.
Yeah...
Good night.
I don't know
if I really want to meet you!
Camila...
doesn't fiction happen to you
all the time?
So rewrite me.
Do you want to marry me?
I never want to sleep
without you.
Never again.
I asked you not to
let go of my hand...
and even as we slept,
you didn't.
I'm scared.
You're perfect for me.
All.
Everything.
From your voice
to the size of your cock.
Now I don't mind...
I don't think anything...
I don't care about anything.
I've given myself up in you.
Nothing has ever been this good.
This is for you, my favorite slut.
TODAY I'M GOING TO SEARCH
FOR THE LOST WORD...
THAT SLIPPED
THROUGH MY FINGERS,
THAT SLID FROM MY HANDS.
TODAY I'M GOING TO CONTAIN
IN WRITING THIS STUPID FLOW...
THAT WON'T STOP SWEEPING ME
FAR AWAY FROM HERE.
TODAY I'M GOING TO SIT STILL...
WHILE THE PHRASES TAKE SHAPE...
WHILE WHOLE PARAGRAPHS...
ARE FIXED ON THE SCREEN.
SOME OF THEM ESCAPE.
AND I LET THEM ESCAPE...
BECAUSE I KNOW I CAN CATCH UP...
WITH THEM LATER ON, EVEN BETTER.
I'M NO LONGER DESPERATE.
I FOUND THE RIVERBED
FOR MY OVERFLOW.
Hello, Daniel.
It's me.
Camila.
I'd like to talk to you.
I have your pink lighter.
So call me.
Bye.
He's trying to defend himself?
Defend from what, Paula?
This is too cliché.
So he's afraid of love?
I don't believe that!
This is for women who don't want
to admit they're history!
That's not what happened.
Yes, he liked me.
He looked into my eyes!
He stayed here!
It was wonderful!
No, I'm not history.
Maybe he's dead!
I'm sorry, Paula.
I know it's long distance.
But what happened, Paula?
I'm empty.
My apartment is empty.
São Paulo is empty.
The world is empty.
I meant to give you
my last tear...
but I'm dry.
I can't even cry.
One more.
I won't be a victim of this guy.
He will be my victim.
Let's call for the check.
- Let's order another one.
- Let's call for the check.
What's your name?
- Aurora.
- Aurora.
Camila.
- All right. Yeah.
- Do you have fire?
Camila, please!
We'll talk later, all right?
- Aurora?
- Yes?
Do you think he's afraid?
Maybe he thinks
I'll make a scene here.
Listen, Camila.
I know we need to talk, all right?
But not now, okay?
Not like that.
All right?
- Let's go, guys.
- Aurora, he's afraid.
- Let's go.
- What's the matter?
He thinks I'll put out
this cigarette on his face.
Stop it, Camila! Goddamn it!
- Give me a break!
- Let go of me!
- What a shame!
- Get a grip, girl!
Later my ass, Daniel!
- Let me go after this chicken shit!
- Not like that! No way!
- Yes, I will! I will!
- Hold on, don't do it like that.
- Who the fuck are you?
- I'm Daniel's best friend.
So tell me where he went.
Tell me where he's going.
Camila, give him a break!
He's going through a hard time.
Fuck he is!
I'm the one having a hard time.
I waited for him
for days and days at home...
staring at the phone
like a crazy bitch!
So I get here
and he doesn't even talk to me?
Who is this fucking Aurora?
Who is she? Who is she?
Tell me where he went.
I need to talk to him!
If I don't, I'm gonna go crazy!
This is ridiculous.
You're a jerk.
Couldn't you have sent me an e-mail?
Or called me back?
- Camila, I'm in love with Aurora.
- Stop it. It's not true.
It can't be, Daniel!
Tell me what happened!
What about those 3 days
we had at my place?
- Was that fiction?
- No, it wasn't. It was real.
But the way you talk about it,
it was more real for you...
- with the Daniel you made up.
- Fuck you, Daniel!
Don't use what I said.
Isn't it how you
introduced yourself?
Didn't you want to be rewritten?
And now?
Now the book has ended.
Period.
Shit!
I'm not crazy.
I know exactly what we had.
Now it doesn't matter
what you'll do with it.
Do what you want, what you can.
Fuck it!
The only thing I wanted back
is what you took from me.
- What did I take from you?
- My ability to trust.
CAMILA LEFT THE PARTY TRYING...
TO DISGUISE HER PAIN.
AS SOON
AS SHE WAS ALONE, SHE WEPT.
SHE WEPT IN THE ELEVATOR, SHE WEPT
IN THE HALLWAY AND IN THE STREET.
SHE WALKED OVER TO
THE NEAREST BUS STOP.
SHE CAUGHT THE FIRST BUS
THAT WOULD LEAVE HER NEAR HOME.
SHE WEPT ON THE BUS.
AT HOME, SHE NESTLED INTO THE
BEANBAG CHAIR AND QUIETED DOWN.
Sometimes they break my legs,
they kick me in the face...
they stomp on my fingers.
I survive.
I've always survived.
I'm scarred. Yes.
But I make the most of each
and every one of my scars.
Camila JAM