Camelot (1982) - full transcript

(midtempo orchestral music)

♪ Guenevere, Guenevere ♪

♪ In that dim, mournful year ♪

♪ Saw the men she
held most dear ♪

♪ Go to war for Guenevere ♪

♪ Guenevere, Guenevere ♪

♪ In that dim, mournful year ♪

♪ Saw the men she
held most dear ♪

♪ Go to war for Guenevere ♪

♪ Guenevere, Guenevere ♪

♪ Guenevere ♪



(audience applauds)

- Why is Guenevere in
that castle behind walls

I cannot enter?

Why am I on the far
side of the channel

on this dark and dismal plain,

waiting at angry dawn to do
battle against the man I love

for the woman I love?

- The rules of battle are
not for Lancelot du Lac,

Your Majesty.

Let us attack now
while they sleep.

- We'll attack at dawn,
not a moment before.

- [Knight] But Your Majesty--

- If the rules of
decency are dead

at least we will observe
the rules of dying.



Merlyn.

Merlyn.

How did I blunder under
this agonizing absurdity?

Where did I go wrong,
how did I stumble?

Please tell me, I must
know, I haven't much time.

A thin inch of sunlight
over that hill,

and the arrows
will begin to fly.

Merlyn, if I have
to die in battle,

please do not let
me die bewildered.

Merlyn!

Merlyn!

In whatever cave you hide,

wherever in God's
kingdom you slumber,

I command you to take me
back to the beginning!

Take me back to the beginning!

- [Merlyn] Think, Arthur!

Think!

("Guenevere" by Alan Jay
Lerner & Frederick Loewe)

- I'm thinking, Merlyn.

I'm thinking.

I'm thinking.

Where are you, Merlyn?

- I am here, Arthur,
under this tree.

I know you are up there,
come down at once.

Wart, do you hear me?

Do you hear me, Wart?

Come down, I say, you
are perfectly safe.

There is no one here,
no welcoming committee,

no carriage, no
sign of your bride.

(audience laughs)
- Merlyn!

Merlyn, Merlyn, Merlyn,
why are you angry?

I know you are because
you called me Wart.

- Yes, Wart.

Your schoolboy nickname.

That's what your behavior
warrants, perched in a tree,

trying to steal a look
at your bride, oh.

Will you never learn patience?

- Patience.

I am the king, others
must learn patience.

(audience laughs)

Oh Merlyn, please
tell me, how is she?

Is she beautiful?

- I don't recall.

- Oh, rubbish.

Are you pretending you don't

or you can't
remember the future?

- When you live
backwards in time as I do

and have the future to
remember as well as the past,

occasionally, you
do forget a face.

(audience laughs)
- Oh, Merlyn.

Merlyn, I command you
as your king to tell me

is she or is she not--

- She is beautiful.

- Quite, or very?

- Very.

- Oh, Merlyn.

Why haven't you taught me
about love and marriage?

- Don't, scramble them together,

that way they are
two different things.

Beside, I did give
you a lesson once,

but your mind was,
as usual, elsewhere.

You'd better heed
me well from now on.

I shan't be here long.

- Why not?

- I have told you, I am
doomed to be bewitched

by a nymph named Nimue, who
will steal my magic powers

and lock me in a cave forever.

- Nimue, fiddlesticks.

Every time you are
displeased with me,

you threaten me with
this creature, Nimue.

- [Merlyn] It is not a threat.

It will happen someday.

It will happen.

- Well Merlyn, Merlyn,
when you think she's near,

why don't you change
yourself into a bat?

(audience laughs)
Oh Merlyn, Merlyn.

Do you remember when
I was a little boy?

You changed me into a hawk?

Oh the feeling,
sailing through air.

Merlyn, do it again,
right this minute,

for old time's sake, one
last soar through the sky.

- So you can soar through
the sky to her carriage

and see her through the window.

No.

(audience laughs)
Merlyn, I must insist

that you remember who I am.

Please, Merlyn.

Change me into a hawk,

or I'll have your head
(tongue clicks) cut off.

- Have my head cut off? (laughs)

Oh Wart, it is you who keep
forgetting who you are.

Think of the joy you
brought to Camelot,

a radiant young princess
never before out of her castle

come by treaty to bring
peace between peoples,

a royal marriage, a new queen.

And where is the king?

Swinging in the
trees, thank heaven!

History never knew, thank
heaven Malory and Tennyson

never found out,

thank heaven your people are
not aware of your behavior.

Now, go back to the castle
at once! (mimics whooshing)

(audience laughs and applauds)

- My people, indeed.

As if they give a thought

for what the king
is doing tonight.

I know what my people
are thinking tonight

as home through the
shadows they wander.

Everyone smiling
in secret delight

as they stare at the
castle and ponder.

Whenever the wind
blows this way,

you can almost
hear everyone say.

♪ I wonder what the
king is doing tonight ♪

♪ What merriment is the
king pursuing tonight ♪

♪ The candles at the court
they never burned as bright ♪

♪ I wonder what the
king is up to tonight ♪

♪ How goes the final hour ♪

♪ As he sees the bridal bower ♪

♪ Be regally and
regally prepared ♪

♪ Well I'll tell you what
the king is doing tonight ♪

♪ He's scared, he's scared ♪

♪ You mean that a king
who fought a dragon ♪

♪ Whacked him in two
and fixed his wagon ♪

♪ Goes to wed in
terror and distress ♪

♪ Yes ♪

♪ A warrior who's
so calm in battle ♪

♪ Even his armor
doesn't rattle ♪

♪ Faces a woman
petrified with fright ♪

♪ Right ♪

♪ You mean the
enormous clamoring ♪

♪ That sounds like a
blacksmith hammering ♪

♪ Is really the banging
of his royal knees ♪

♪ Oh please ♪

♪ Well you wonder what the
king is wishing tonight ♪

♪ He's wishing he were in
Scotland fishing tonight ♪

♪ What occupies his time
while waiting for his bride ♪

♪ He's searching high and
low for someplace to hide ♪

♪ And oh the expectation ♪

♪ The sublime anticipation ♪

♪ He must feel about the
wedding night to come ♪

♪ Well I'll tell you what
the king is feeling tonight ♪

♪ He's numb, he shakes,
he quails, he quakes ♪

♪ And that's what the
king is doing tonight ♪

(audience applauds)

Oh Guenevere!

♪ Saint Genevieve,
Saint Genevieve ♪

♪ It's Guenevere ♪

♪ Remember me ♪

♪ Saint Genevieve,
Saint Genevieve ♪

♪ I'm over here
beneath this tree ♪

♪ You know how faithful
and devout I am ♪

♪ You must admit I've
always been a lamb ♪

♪ But Genevieve,
Saint Genevieve ♪

♪ I won't obey you anymore ♪

♪ You've gone a bit too far ♪

♪ I won't be bid
and bargained for ♪

♪ Like beads at a bazaar ♪

♪ St. Genevieve, I've run away ♪

♪ Eluded them and fled ♪

♪ And from now on,
I intend to pray ♪

♪ To someone else instead ♪

- [Man] On guard!

♪ Oh Genevieve,
Saint Genevieve ♪

♪ Where were you when
my youth was sold ♪

♪ Dear Genevieve,
sweet Genevieve ♪

♪ Shan't I be young
before I'm old ♪

Oh shan't I, Saint Genevieve?

Why must I suffer
this squalid destiny

just when I've reached the
golden age of eligibility

and wooability?

Is my faith determined
by love and courtship?

Oh no, clause one,
fix the border,

clause two, establish trade,
clause three, deliver me,

clause four, stop the war,
five, six, pick up sticks.

How cruel, how unjust.

Am I never to know the
joys of maidenhood?

The conventional,
ordinary, garden variety

joys of maidenhood?

♪ Where are the simple
joys of maidenhood ♪

♪ Where are all those
adoring, daring boys ♪

♪ Where's the knight
pining so for me ♪

♪ He leaps to death
in woe for me ♪

♪ Oh, where are a
maiden's simple joys ♪

♪ Shan't I have the normal
life a maiden should ♪

♪ Shall I never be
rescued in the wood ♪

♪ Shall two knights
never tilt for me ♪

♪ And let their blood
be spilt for me ♪

♪ Oh, where are the simple
joys of maidenhood ♪

♪ Shall I not be on a pedestal ♪

♪ Worshiped and competed for ♪

♪ Not be carried off,
or better still ♪

♪ Cause a little war ♪

♪ Where are the simple
joys of maidenhood ♪

♪ Are those dear gentle
pleasures gone for good ♪

♪ Shall a feud
not begin for me ♪

♪ Shall kith not kill
their kin for me ♪

♪ Oh, where are
the trivial joys ♪

♪ Harmless convivial joys ♪

♪ Where are the simple
joys of maidenhood ♪

(audience applauds)

(Guenevere gasps)

- Oh, a thousand
pardons, My Lady,

please don't run away,
I will not harm you.

- You lie.

You'll leap at me and
throw me to the ground.

- I'll do no such thing.

- Then you'll twist my
arm and tie me to a tree.

- No, I will not.

- Then you'll sling me over
your shoulder and carry me off.

- No, I swear by the sword
Excalibur, I will not touch you.

- Why not?

(audience laughs)
How dare you insult me

in this fashion.

Do my looks repel you?

- Oh no, you're beautiful.

- Well then, we're alone,
I'm completely defenseless.

(audience laughs)

What kind of a cad are you?

Apologize at once.

- I apologize.

I'm not quite sure
what I've done wrong.

But from the bottom of my
heart, I really do apologize.

- 0h I think I know.

You heard me praying.

- Well I couldn't
tell, but My Lady,

you did pray rather loudly.

(audience laughs)

- And you know who I am?

- You're Guenevere.

- Yes, you're afraid
I may be your queen.

That accounts for your
polite, respectable,

despicable behavior.

- Oh why isn't Merlyn here?

He usually senses when
I need him, he appears.

Why has he failed me now?

- Who?

- Merlyn, my teacher.

He'd know what to
do immediately.

You see, I'm not
accomplished at thinking,

and I have Merlyn do it for me.

Well he's the wisest man alive.

He lives backwards.

- I beg your pardon?

- He lives backwards.

Well he doesn't age, you see.

He um, he youthens.

(audience laughs)

My Lady, let me explain.

You see, Merlyn can
remember the future

and therefore tell you what
you will be doing in it.

Do you understand?

- Well, of course
I don't understand.

But if you mean he's some
sort of fortune teller,

I'd give a year in
paradise to know mine.

I can never return
to my own castle,

and I absolutely refuse
to go on to that one.

- You refuse to go on, ever?

- Ever.

My only choice is to.

Don't stare, it's rude.

(audience laughs)

Who are you?

- Uh.

Uh.

Actually, they call me Wart.

- Wart?

What a ridiculous name.

Are you sure you
heard them properly?

- Oh yes, My Lady.

It was a nickname given to
me when I was a little boy.

- Well, you're rather sweet
in spite of your name,

and I didn't think I was going
to like anyone in Camelot.

Can you imagine riding in
a carriage for seven hours

on the verge of hysteria, then
seeing that horrible castle

rising in the distance
and running away,

then having a strange man

come peering at you
through the branches

looking like a lost owl.

You must admit, for my
first day away from home,

it's quite a plateful.

If only I weren't
alone, I could.

Wart, why don't you.

Is it really Wart?

- Oh, yes.

- Wart, why don't
you run away with me?

- I, run away with you?

- Yes, as my protector.

Naturally, I would be
brutalized by strangers,

I expect that, but
it would be dreadful

if there were no
one to rescue me.

Think of it, we could
travel the world,

France, Scotland, Spain!

- Oh, what a dream she spins.

And how easy I could
be caught up in it.

I'm afraid I can't, My Lady.

To serve as your protector
would answer the prayers

of the most fanatic
cavalier alive.

But alas, I must decline.

- You force me to stay?

- Oh, not at all.

- But you know, you're the
only one I know in Camelot.

Whom else can I turn to?

- Well, if you do persist
in escaping, My Lady,

I could arrange for somebody
brave and trustworthy

to accompany you.

- Then do so immediately,
there's not much time.

- Oh, do you look
around you, My Lady.

Reconsider, Camelot is unique.

My Lady, we have
here, in Camelot,

and enchanted forest
where a fairy queen,

Morgan La Fey, lives
in an invisible castle,

and that is most unusual.

And we have uh, we
have an owl that talks,

called Archimedes, he talks,
and that is highly original.

And we have unicorns with
silver feet, the rarest kind.

And we have by far and away
the most equitable climate

in the entire world,
ordained by royal decree.

And that is extremely uncommon.

- Oh, come now.

- It's true.

It's true.

♪ The crown has made it clear ♪

♪ The climate must be
perfect for the year ♪

♪ A law was made a
distant moon ago here ♪

♪ July and August
cannot be too hot ♪

♪ And there's a legal
limit to the snow here ♪

♪ In Camelot ♪

♪ The winter is
forbidden till December ♪

♪ And exits March the
second on the dot ♪

♪ By order, summer lingers
through September ♪

♪ In Camelot, it's true ♪

♪ Camelot, Camelot ♪

♪ I know it sounds
a bit bizarre ♪

♪ But in Camelot, Camelot ♪

♪ That's how conditions are ♪

♪ The rain may never
fall till after sundown ♪

♪ By eight, the morning
fog must disappear ♪

♪ In short, there's simply
not a more congenial spot ♪

♪ For happily-ever-aftering
than here ♪

♪ In Camelot ♪

(Guenevere giggles)

- And I suppose all
the autumn leaves

fall in neat little piles.

- Oh no, My Lady.

They blow away completely.

At night, of course.

(audience laughs)
- Of course.

♪ Camelot Camelot ♪

♪ I know it gives
a person pause ♪

♪ But in Camelot, Camelot ♪

♪ Those are the legal laws ♪

♪ The snow may never
slush upon the hillside ♪

♪ By 9 p.m. the
moonlight must appear ♪

♪ In short, there's simply
not a more congenial spot ♪

♪ For happily-ever-aftering
than here ♪

♪ In Camelot ♪

It's true.

It's true.

(audience applauds)

- There she is!
(Guenevere gasps)

- Wart, save me!

- Your Majesty.

Forgive me, Your Majesty.

I did not see you for
a moment, a moment.

(audience laughs)

(midtempo orchestral music)

(Arthur chuckles)

- Merlyn!

(audience laughs)

My Lady.

My Lady, when.

When I was a young lad, of 18,

our good king Pendragon
died in London,

leaving no one to succeed him.

Only a sword stuck through an
anvil that stood on a stone,

and written on it in
letters of gold, it said

whosoever pulleth this sword
from this stone and anvil

is rightwise born
king of all England.

For many knights tried to
dislodge it, but they failed.

So a great tournament was
proclaimed for New Year's Day

so that all the mightiest
knights in England

could gather
together in one spot

and have a god at the sword.

Well I went to London as a
squire to my cousin, Sir Kay.

On the morning of
the tournament,

Kay discovered he
left his sword behind,

and gave me a shilling
to go back and fetch it.

On my way through London,
I passed this square,

and there I saw this sword
looming up into the sky.

Not thinking too quickly, I
thought it was a war memorial.

(audience laughs)

Well, since the
square was deserted,

I thought I would borrow it
and save myself the journey.

I tried to dislodge
it, and I failed.

I tried again, and
I failed again,

I tried again, and
I failed again,

then I closed my eyes,
and with all my might,

tried for one last time, and ho!

The sword moved in my hand and
slowly fell out of the stone.

I had a great cry,
I opened my eyes,

the square was filled
with people shouting

long live the king,
long live the king!

Long live the.

I looked at the sword in my
hand, and I saw the blade

gleaming with letters of gold.

That's how I became king.

(audience laughs)

I never wanted to be king.

I never thought I would be kind.

And since I am king, I have
been ill at ease in my crown

until my eyes beheld you.

And then, for the first
time, I felt like a king.

I was glad to be king, and
most astonishing of all,

suddenly I wanted to be
the wises, most heroic,

the most splendid king to
ever sit on any throne.

If My Lady would come with me,
I will arrange for a carriage

to take you back to your father.

♪ I hear it never rains
till after sundown ♪

♪ By eight the morning
fog must disappear ♪

♪ In short there's simply
not a more congenial spot ♪

♪ For happily-ever-aftering
than here in Camelot ♪

I'm afraid, Your Majesty.

- Afraid?

- Marriage is rather
frightening, isn't it?

- Well I must confess, the
thought had occurred to me.

(audience laughs)

Well, of course, now
that I've met you,

the thought of not marrying

sounds infinitely
more terrifying.

(Guenevere giggles)

- But what would've
happened if we hadn't?

To the treaty?

- We would've been broken, and
war would've been declared.

- War, over me?

You're simply marvelous!

(audience applauds)

- At last, at last he's
ambitious, at last.

How foolish of me, not
to have realized sooner.

He didn't need a lecture,
he needed a queen.

All his life, I have struggled
to teach him to think,

then over the hill
comes his fated maiden,

and for her, he wants to
be Caesar and Solomon.

Man, man goes from
love to ambition.

Never from ambition to love.

Who said that?
(audience laughs)

Someone in the 19th
century, I believe,

if my memory serves
me correctly.

Or was it the 20th?

No matter.

Now, at last, he will
begin putting together

the pieces of his destiny.

It shan't be long, a
night five years from now.

Or is it six?

No, no, four.

Yes, after the
battle of Bedegraine,

no, no, Bedegraine
is much earlier.

What is it with me today?

My memory is full of clouds.

It can't be senility.

I've outgrown that.

(gentle harp music)

♪ Far from day ♪

♪ Far from night ♪

♪ Out of time, out of sight ♪

♪ In between earth and sea ♪

♪ We shall fly ♪

♪ Follow me ♪

- Nimue!

Is that you?

♪ Dry the rain, warm the snow ♪

♪ Where the winds never blow ♪

♪ Follow me ♪

- [Merlyn] No, Nimue.

Not yet.

♪ Follow me ♪

♪ To a cave by a
sapphire shore ♪

♪ Where we'll walk
through an emerald door ♪

♪ And for thousands of
evermores too long ♪

♪ My life you shall be ♪

- Nimue!

Must you steal my
magic powers so soon?

Couldn't you wait a bit longer?

Wait, did I tell him
everything he must know?

Have I told him of Lancelot?

I did, but Lancelot
of Guenevere.

Did I warn him of
Lancelot and Guenevere?

And Mordred, didn't warn
him of Mordred, and I must,

but what of Mordred?

I remember nothing.
♪ Only you ♪

♪ Only I ♪

♪ World farewell,
world goodbye ♪

♪ To our home 'neath the sea ♪

♪ Follow me ♪

- Goodbye, Arthur.

Remember here the
future is gone.

I know no more the sorrows
and joys before you.

I can only wish for you, in
ignorance like everyone else.

Reign long, and reign happily.

Oh, and Wart, remember to think.

(audience applauds)

- Oh Jenny, you
can't deny the facts.

Did I not pledge to
you five years ago

that I would become the
wisest, the most heroic,

the most splendid king
to sit on any throne?

- You did.

- And in five years,
have I become the wisest,

the most heroic, the
most splendid king

to sit on any throne?

- You have.

- Oh, rubbish, Jenny.

I have not become what I
pledged to you I would be.

I am a failure, and that's that.

- Oh Arthur, that's not true.

You are the greatest
warrior in England.

- For what purpose?

Might is not always right.

- Nonsense, dear,
of course it is.

To be right and lose
couldn't possibly be right.

- Might and right,
battle, plunder,

oh the thought
always plagues me.

You know Merlyn always
frowned on battles

yet Merlyn always
helped me win them.

There must be clue
there somewhere, if
only I could find it.

I'm always walking down a
winding, dimly-lit road,

and in the distance, I see
the outline of a thought,

like the shadow on a hill.

I fumble, I stumble,
at last I get there,

and when I do, the hill is gone.

Not there at all.

Then I hear a voice
crying out to me,

go back Arthur!

It's too dark for you
to be out thinking!

- Oh, my poor love.

Let me see you do it.

Walk out loud.

Walk out loud.

- Oh, Jenny.

Proposition.

It is far better to
be alive than dead.

- [Guenevere] Far better.

- If that is the case,
why do we have battles

where people are killed?

- [Guenevere] I
don't know, do you?

- Of course, because
someone attacks.

- [Guenevere] Of course, that's
very clever of you, Arthur.

- Thank you, Jenny.

Proposition, we have battles
because someone attacks.

But why, why, why?

- Because knights love it.

They adore charging
around and whacking away.

It's splendid fun, you've
said so yourself often.

- Well it is splendid fun, but
it is hardly reason enough.

- Oh, well I think it is.

And from a woman's point of
you, it's wonderfully exciting

seeing your knight in armor
riding bravely off to battle.

Especially when you'll know

he'll be home safe in
one piece for dinner.

- That's it, Jenny!

It's the armor.

Of course, it's the armor.

Look, only knights can afford
to bedeck themselves in armor.

They declare war
whenever it suits them,

and they go galloping
throughout the countryside,

slicing up peasants
and foot soldiers

because peasants and
foot soldiers cannot
afford the armor.

All that can happen to a knight

is an occasional
(fist thuds) dent.

(audience laughs)

Proposition, wrong or
right, they have the might.

So wrong or right, they're
right, and that's wrong.

Right?

(audience laughs)

- Absolutely.

Dear Arthur, why don't we
have a nice, quiet dinner?

And after, if you like,
you can stroll again.

- Bless you, Jenny.

Jenny, Jenny.

Supposing we create a
new order of chivalry.

- I beg your pardon?

- Well a new order, where
might is only used for right,

to improve instead of destroy.

Oh yes, Jenny, we could invite
all the knights, good or bad,

to lay down their arms
and come and join us here.

We could take one of the
large rooms in the castle,

put a table in it, and the
knights would gather at it.

- What would they do?

- Oh, uh, talk, plan,
discuss, make new laws,

plan improvements, I--

- Really, Arthur, do
you think your knights

would ever want to do
such a peaceful thing?

- Oh, we'll make it
a great honor, Jenny.

Very fashionable.

They will all want to enroll.

Now, now, the knights
of my new order

would go galloping
throughout the world,

still dressed in armor,
still whacking away,

that will give them an
outlet for their whacking,

only this time, they'll
be whacking for good.

Defend virgins, rid the
wrongs done in the past,

help the oppressed, why. (gasps)

Why, that's it, Jenny.

Not might is right,
might for right.

- [Guenevere] It's fascinating.

- Oh Jenny, it's so civilized.

We create a whole new
generation of chivalry.

Young men bursting
with zeal, ideals.

- It'll have to be an awfully
large table, won't it?

But won't there be jealousies.

All your knights
claiming superiority

and wanting to sit at the head.

- Oh, of course
Jenny, of course.

Well then, we'll have
to make a sort of,

like a circular sort of thing,
a round, a round, a round,

a round table, Jenny.

There is no head.

- My father has one
that would be perfect.

It seats 150.

It was given to him once as
a present, he never uses it.

(audience laughs)

- Thank you, Jenny.

Oh, Jenny, have I had a thought?

Am I at that hill again,
or is it all just mirage?

I mean, I could be wrong,
the whole idea may be absurd.

Oh why isn't Merlyn here,
now that I need him?

He'd tell me what to do.

Knights at a table.

- [Guenevere] A round table?

- A round table.

A new order of chivalry.

Shining knights gallivanting
around the countryside

like, like, like
angels in armor,

swords swinging, apostles
battling to stamp out evil,

Jenny, it's ridiculous.

(audience laughs)
Why, it's juvenile.

It's infantile, it's
folly, it's, it's, it's--

- It's marvelous.

- It is marvelous,
absolutely marvelous.

We'll send the heralds
riding through the country.

♪ Tell every living
person far and near ♪

♪ That there is simply not ♪

♪ In all the world a spot ♪

♪ Where rules a more
resplendent king ♪

♪ Than here in Camelot ♪

(audience applauds)

♪ Camelot ♪

♪ In far off France
I heard your call ♪

♪ Camelot ♪

♪ Camelot ♪

♪ And here am I to give my all ♪

♪ I know in my soul ♪

♪ What you expect of me ♪

♪ And all that and
more I shall be ♪

♪ A knight to the table
round should be invincible ♪

♪ Succeed where a less
fantastic man would fail ♪

♪ Climb a wall no
one else can climb ♪

♪ Cleave a dragon
in record time ♪

♪ Swim a moat in a coat
of heavy iron mail ♪

♪ No matter the pain, he
ought to be unwinceable ♪

♪ Impossible deeds should
be his daily fare ♪

♪ But where in the world
is there in the world ♪

♪ A man so extraordinaire ♪

Ah!
(audience laughs)

♪ C'est moi, c'est moi,
I'm forced to admit ♪

♪ 'Tis I, I humbly reply ♪

♪ That mortal who
these marvels can do ♪

♪ C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tis I ♪

♪ I've never lost
in battle or game ♪

♪ I'm simply the best by far ♪

♪ When swords are crossed
'tis always the same ♪

♪ One blow and au revoir ♪

♪ C'est moi, C'est
moi, so admirably fit ♪

♪ A French Prometheus unbound ♪

♪ And here I stand
with valor untold ♪

♪ Exceptionally brave
amazingly bold ♪

♪ To serve at the Table Round ♪

♪ The soul of a knight should
be a thing remarkable ♪

♪ His heart and his mind
as pure as morning dew ♪

♪ With a will and
a self-restraint ♪

♪ That's the envy
of every saint ♪

♪ He could easily work
a miracle or two ♪

♪ To love and desire he
ought to be unsparkable ♪

♪ The ways of the flesh
should offer no allure ♪

♪ But where in the world
is there in the world ♪

♪ A man so untouched and pure ♪

C'est moi.
(audience laughs)

♪ C'est moi, c'est moi,
I blush to disclose ♪

♪ I'm far too noble to lie ♪

♪ That man in whom
these qualities bloom ♪

♪ C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tis I ♪

♪ I've never strayed
from all I believe; ♪

♪ I'm blessed with
an iron will ♪

♪ Had I been made
the partner of Eve ♪

♪ We'd be in Eden still ♪

♪ C'est moi, c'est moi,
the angels have chose ♪

♪ To fight their battles below ♪

♪ And here I stand,
as pure as a prayer ♪

♪ Incredibly clean,
with virtue to spare ♪

♪ The godliest man I know ♪

C'est moi!

(audience applauds)

- I cannot bring
him too, Lancelot.

For you gave him
a shattering blow.

- Oh, King Arthur.

What caliber of man you must be

to have conceived of the table

to have created a
new order of life.

I worship you
before knowing you,

and no harm must befall you.

Beware, enemies of
Arthur, do you hear me?

Beware.

From this moment on,
you answer to me.

(man groans)

Well now that you
have recovered, sir,
I bid you good day.

And the next time you
raise a spear at me,

remember, you challenge the
right arm of King Arthur.

- [Arthur] I am King Arthur!

- The king?

- Almost the late king.

- I struck you?

Oh my god!

Your Majesty, I am
Lancelot of du Lac.

I heard of your new order
in France and came to join.

Oh, I beg Your
Majesty to forgive me,

not because I deserve
it, but by forgiving me,

I'll suffer more.

- My dear fellow, I don't
want you to suffer at all.

I want to congratulate
you, please rise.

You too, squire.

- Oh, I can't, Your Majesty,

I'm too ashamed to lift my head.

- Well then, I command you.

(audience laughs)

I have never felt a bash
in my chest quite like it.

It was most spectacular.

Where did you learn to do it?

- Oh, my skill comes from
training, Your Majesty.

My strength from purity.

(audience laughs)

- Oh yes.

Well that is a unique recipe.

- Well, he is a unique
man, Your Majesty.

Why, when he was 14, he could
defeat any jouster in France.

His father, King Ban,
made me his squire--

- Did you say Ban?

Of Benwick?

- Yes, Your Majesty.

- What did you
say your name was?

- Lancelot du Lac, Your Majesty.

- Lancelot du Lac.

Why, you're Lancelot.

I was told you were coming.

- [Lancelot] You were
told, Your Majesty?

- Yes, yes.

Merlyn, the court magician,
he said to me one day,

he said Arthur, keep your
eye out for Lancelot du Lac,

he will come from Joyous Gard,

he will come to the
court of Camelot,

and he will be, he
will be, he will be,

oh, what was it
now, he would be?

- Your ally?

If you'll take me.

Your friend, who
asks not friendship,

your defender when you need one

whose heart is already
filled with you,

whose body is your
sword to brandish!

Did he prophesy
that, Your Majesty,

for all that, I am.

- Well, really.

(audience laughs)

Well that's far more
than I could hope for.

That's far more
than I should ask.

- Then, you'll accept me?

- Without hesitation.

We will arrange for his
knighthood immediately.

We will arrange for your
knighthood immediately.

- No, Your Majesty, not immed.

Not immed, not immediately.

Not till I have proven myself.

For all you know
of me now is words.

Invest me because
of deeds, sire.

Give me an order.

- Now?

- Yes, yes now, this moment.

Send me on a mission,
let me perform for you.

Is there some wrong I can right,

some enemy I can battle,
some peril I can undertake?

- Well actually, there's
not much going on today.

(audience laughs)

Well, well you see, Lancelot.

You see, you see, this
is the first of May,

and the queen and her
court have gone a-Maying.

I was going to
surprise Her Majesty

when of course you surprised me.

- Well, gone a-Maying,
Your Majesty?

- Yes, yes, it's
a sort of picnic.

You know, they eat grapes

and chase young
girls around trees.

- A pic-nic, Your Majesty?

(audience laughs)

- Yes, yes, it's a
custom that we have here.

Well this is England, you know,

and this is the season
for gathering flowers.

- Knights gathering
flowers, Your Majesty?

- Well someone has to do it!

(audience laughs and applauds)

- But with so much to be done.

- Well that's, that's
precisely the point, Lancelot.

Because there is
so much to be done.

And it is civilized, and
civilization should have some,

well, some gentle hobbies.

Look, look, look,
let's meet the queen.

- I should be honored.

Oh, Dab, Dab, Dab, I bring
the horses to the castle.

Feed them and dress
them for battle.

- Battle?

But there is no
one to fight today.

- One never knows, Your Majesty.

Enemies seldom take holidays.

(audience laughs)

- Yes, I suppose so.

Merlyn.

- What is it, sire,
have I offended you?

Did I say something
that displeased you?

- Oh no, Lancelot.

I've just recalled
what Merlyn said to me.

How wondrous, how strange.

Merlyn said that you would
be the greatest knight

to ever sit at my table,

but that was long before I
had ever thought of the table,

so he knew it would exist,

and I thought he
meant a dining table,

but he meant the round table,

so I have stumbled on my future.

I mean, I have done
the right thing.

- But did you ever
doubt it, Your Majesty?

- Of course, only
fools never doubt.

(audience laughs)

Well, welcome to
the table, Lance.

Bless you for coming.

Let's meet the queen.

(lively orchestral music)

(audience applauds)

(audience applauds)

♪ Tra la, it's May ♪

♪ The lusty month of May ♪

♪ That lovely month
when everyone goes ♪

♪ Blissfully astray ♪

♪ Tra la, it's here ♪

♪ That shocking time of year ♪

♪ When tons of wicked
little thoughts ♪

♪ Merrily appear ♪

♪ It's May, it's May ♪

♪ That gorgeous holiday ♪

♪ When every maiden
prays that her lad ♪

♪ Will be a cad ♪

♪ It's mad, it's gay ♪

♪ A libelous display ♪

♪ Those dreary vows
that everyone takes ♪

♪ Everyone breaks ♪

♪ Everyone makes
divine mistakes ♪

♪ The lusty month of May ♪

♪ Tra la it's May ♪

♪ The lusty month of May ♪

♪ That lovely month
when everyone goes ♪

♪ Blissfully astray ♪

♪ Tra la, it's here ♪

♪ That shocking time of year ♪

♪ That time when wicked little
thoughts merrily appear ♪

♪ It's May, it's may ♪

♪ A libelous display ♪

♪ When all the world
is brimming with fun ♪

♪ Wholesome or un,
it's May, it's May ♪

♪ A libelous display ♪

♪ Those dreary vows
that everyone takes ♪

♪ Everyone breaks ♪

♪ Everyone makes
divine mistakes ♪

♪ The lusty month of May ♪

(audience applauds)

- Oh, oh forgive
the interruption.

- On your knees, knight.

You are in the presence
of Your Majesty,

Guenevere, Queen of England.

- Oh really. (chuckles)

Your Majesty.

We'll have to forgo the bending.

These hinges need oiling,

been sleeping out for 18 years,

no isn't proper, there you are.

Do forgive what.

(audience laughs)

- Who are you, Milord?

- Why, name of King Pellinore.

May have heard of
me, what what, ha-ha.

What what (chuckles).

- [Man] What what?

- What, what, what, what, what?

What, what, what, what?

(audience laughs)

Oh.

Oh by the way, where am I now?

- Don't you know?

- No, no haven't the foggiest.

- You are in Camelot.

- Camelot.

Thank you.

Camelot, Camelot.

Horrid, Horrid, we've been
through here, haven't we, hm?

Oh, you wouldn't know,
all you can see is hair.

(audience laughs)

Ah, I remember now, I remember.

I remember, I remember,
I spent a lovely day here

years ago with he most
delightful chap named, uh,

oh, Court, Lort, Mort,
b-b-b, Wart, Wart, what what.

Did you ever meet him, Milady?

- Constantly.

He's my husband, King
Arthur of England.

- By Jove, is he now?

Good for him, well done!

(audience laughs)

Hoo, yours fondly thought
he was grand, simply grand.

Oh do say hello to him for me

when you see him again,
won't you? (chuckles)

Oh well, mustn't take up any
more of your valuable time.

Have to mollock on,
now, what. (chuckles)

King of England, by George,
isn't that well done, Horrid.

Thank you so much.

- Oh, Milord.

I'm sure Arthur would
love to see you again.

Wouldn't you care
to spend the night?

- Did?

Spend the night?

- Yes.

- In a house?

- In a bed.

- A bed.

- A feather bed.

- Would it have pillows?

- Down pillows.

- (garbled humming)
I'd love that.

By George, oh man that is
unkindly common of you.

I mean, uncommonly kind.

(audience laughs)

I've just one, and could he
possibly sleep somewhere else?

- Oh yes, of course, where
would you like him to sleep?

- I don't know, anywhere.

Just anywhere around
the castle will do.

The moat.

(audience laughs)

I don't really
like him very much.

He is a bit of company,
but he's, he's a dog.

(audience laughs)

Very easily do without him.

- Then shall sleep
in the stable.

Sir, would you kindly escort
our guest to the castle.

- Pleasure, My Lady.

- Ma'am, this is
too generous of you.

It's too generous
for words. (chuckles)

Oh, what a glorious day.

You know, there's even a
hint of summer in the air?

Or is that you?

Oh, come along, Horrid.

(audience laughs)

- Oh, a delightful surprise.

Arthur please forgive us.

We have just encountered an
absolute cartoon of a man

called King Pellinore.

- Pellinore?

I remember him from my youth,
he was a delightful fellow.

- I've invited him
to stay the night.

- Splendid, Jenny,
just splendid.

Jenny, I want you to
meet Lancelot du Lac.

- Milord.
- Your Majesty.

- Jenny, this is the Lancelot
that Merlyn spoke of.

He's come all the way from
France to join our table.

- Welcome, Milord.

I hope your journey
was pleasant.

- I'm honored to be
among you, Your Majesty.

And allow me to pledge to Her
Majesty my eternal dedication

to this inspired cause.

(audience laughs)

- Thank you, Milord.

How charming of you to say--

- This splendid dream must
be made a universal reality.

- Oh, absolutely,
it really must.

Arthur, don't you think--

- I have assured his majesty
that he may call upon me

at any time to perform any
deed no matter the risk.

- Thank you, Milord,
that's most comforting.

Arthur, really--

- I'm always on duty.

- Yes, I can see that.

(audience gasps)
(audience laughs)

Arthur, can you stay?

- (laughs) I would be
delighted, my love.

I'd like you to hear the new
program we've been discussing.

You see, what we thought
was, we thought that, um,

Lancelot, I think you
had better explain it.

- To Her Majesty?

- Of course.

- But would Her Majesty not find

the complicated affairs of
chivalry rather tedious?

- Not at all, Milord.

I've never found
chivalry tedious, so far.

(audience laughs)
May I remind you, Milord,

the round table happens
to be my husband's idea.

- Any idea, however
exalted, could be improved.

- Really?

- Yes, I have suggested
to His Majesty

that we create a
standard for chivalry.

- Isn't that a
marvelous idea, Jenny?

- A standard for chivalry?

- Yes, a standard for chivalry.

Well that way, chivalry will
um, will have a standard.

- Well yes, Your Majesty.

There must be an
unattainable goal,

that, with work,
becomes attainable.

Oh not only in arms,
but in thought.

An indoctrination of
noble Christian principle.

- And who's abilities would
serve as the standard, Milord.

- Well certainly not
mine, Your Majesty.

It would not be fair.

(audience laughs)

- Not fair, in what way?

- Oh I would never ask anyone
to live by my standards,

Your Majesty.

Nor to dedicate yourself

to the tortured quest for
perfection in body and spirit,

oh no.

I would not ask that of anyone.

- Nor would I.

And have you achieved
perfection, Milord?

- Well physically,
yes, Your Majesty, but.

(audience laughs)

But the refining of the
soul is an endless struggle.

- Oh, I dare say, I do dare say,

do you mean to tell me
you've never been defeated

in battle or tournament?

- No, never, Your Majesty.

- I see.

And I gather you consider
it highly unlikely

ever to happen in the future.

- Highly, Your Majesty.

- Sir Dinadan, Sir Dinadan.

Lancelot, tell me,
how was the channel?

Did you have a rough crossing?

- Tell me a little
of your struggle

for the perfection
of the spirit.

- Jenny, I think we ought to
discuss the training program.

- Oh, I'm much more
interested in his spirit

and noble Christian principles.

Tell me, Milord,

have you come to grips
with humility lately?

(audience laughs)

- Humility, Your Majesty?

- Jenny, I think
we ought to discuss

the training program
elsewhere, not here, not now.

Well, you look far too
beautiful, my darling,

to have anything on your mind
except frolic and flowers.

Have a nice day.

Same to you, Sir Dinadan.

Come along Lancelot,
come quickly.

- Good day, Your Majesty.

- Good day to you, Milord.

- [Man] By George,
that Frenchman is an
unpleasant fellow.

- [Man] He seems to have the
king wrapped around his finger.

- [Woman] He's so
poisonously good.

- [Man] Well, he probably
walked across the channel.

(crowd laughs)

- Sir Dinadan?

- Your Majesty.

- [Guenevere] When is
our next tournament?

- It is a week from
Saturday, Your Majesty.

- And who are our
three best jousters?

- Sir Lionel, Sir Sagramore,

and with all the humility,
c'est moi, Your Majesty.

(audience laughs)

- [Sir Sagramore] My Lady,

you shall have my
challenge in the morning.

- And mine!
- And mine!

♪ Tra la, it's May ♪

♪ The lusty month of May ♪

♪ The darling month
when everyone throws
self-control away ♪

♪ It's fun, it's gay,
a libelous display ♪

♪ Those dreary vows
that everyone takes ♪

♪ Everyone brakes, everyone
makes divine mistakes ♪

♪ The lusty month of May ♪

♪ Tra la, tra la la la la la ♪

(audience applauds)

- Are you truly satisfied
with the proclamation, Lance,

and is there anything
you would like to add?

- Oh, not at all,
Arthur, it's perfect.

Of course, there are
one or two changes

I would like you to consider.

- Of course, naturally.

- Sire.

- It's for you, Jenny!

What changes would you
like me to consider, Lance?

- Oh, it's not pressing,
Arthur, we can do it tomorrow.

- No, let's do it now.

- I'd rather not, Arthur.

If you'll excuse me.

- Good evening, Milord.

- Good evening, Your Majesty.

- Tell me, while I was napping,

did I miss any
improvements in chivalry?

- No, Your Majesty,
if you'll excuse me.

- Milord.

When you're arranging
things with God tonight,

do be sure and give us
nice weather tomorrow.

- But no one could
refuse your wish.

Milady.

Good night, Sire,
good nights, Milord.

- [Arthur] Jenny why,
why do you persist

in baiting that boy?

- Baiting?

Not at all.

Haven't you heard
his latest claim?

He says he can perform miracles.

- Oh, miracles, what!

- Oh, come, come both of you.

Surely that was a
figure of speech.

- Oh no Arthur, he
announced to the knights

as clear as a bell, he's purity
gives him miraculous powers.

- Purity, well I can tell
you both as clear as a bell,

He was referring to
his physical prowess,

which is vast indeed.

- Physical prowess, well,

we shall see about
his physical prowess

in the tournament tomorrow.

Do you know Sir Sagramore,
Sir Lionel and Sir Dinadan

have all three challenged
him to a joust? (chuckles)

There's three damn strong men.

- You mean, he's accepted
to fight all three

on one and the same day?

- Yes, quite. (laughs)

I tell you, Arthur,
in all my travels

I've never met anyone like him.

He doesn't drink,
he has no lady.

Talks to nobody but you and God.

He's crammed full of
religion. (chuckles)

An all around unpleasant fellow.

(audience laughs)

- Pelly, would you
tell the Chamberlain

the order of jousts
tomorrow will be Dinadan,

Sagramore and Lionel.

- Ah, ha-ha, the big
chap last, eh? (chuckles)

Whoa, good idea.

Yours hopefully can hardly wait.

Good night, ma'am,
good night, Arthur.

Big chap last, eh?

Good idea. (chuckles)

(audience laughs)

- Oh Jenny, for you.

- Oh, its a note of
thanks from Sir Lionel.

I'm allowing him to carry
my kerchief tomorrow.

- Oh Jenny, Jenny.

Dear Jenny, I would
be most grateful

if you would withdraw your
permission from Sir Lionel.

- At this late date, Arthur,
that would be rather awkward.

- Well then allow, uh,
Lancelot to carry your kerchief

against Sir Sagramore.

- But, I promised
it to Sagramore.

- Then against Dinadan.

- Well he asked so
prettily, I couldn't refuse.

- Oh Jenny, this is appalling!

Jenny there are
certain issues here

which you have
obviously overlooked.

You see it will
appear to the court

that you are rooting
for Lance's defeat.

- But we don't know
he'll be defeated.

Besides, he knocked
you unconscious

and you woke up
his bosom friend.

Maybe he'll knock them out too,

and they'll all take a
house by the sea together.

(audience laughs)
Oh Jenny.

Jenny, at the risk of
disappointing the knights,

I ask you to withdraw your
permission from all three.

- Arthur, I believe you're
jealous of the knights

and their attentions to me.

Are you, my love?

- Jealous, Jenny?

Jealous?

What absolute rubbish!

You know perfectly well

that I am delighted
the court adores you.

I'd be astonished
if they didn't.

And I trust you
as I do God above.

Why they've carried your
kerchief in tournament

a hundred times, and you are
dragged me off the subject,

and I want you back on it.

Now, will you or will you
not, withdraw your permission?

- Only if you
command me as king.

- And if I do, will
you forgive me?

- Never.

- If I ask as a husband,
will you, as a favor?

(chuckles) Jenny.

- (giggles) No.

Arthur, all the knights
are against him,

and I quite agree with them.

I find him just as overbearing
and pretentious as they do.

- Jenny that is not the issue.

The issue is your kerchief.

Can we not stay on the subject?

- But there is nothing
more to be said.

If His Majesty wishes me
to withdraw permission,

let him command me and yours
humbly will graciously obey.

What, what, what,
what, what, what, what.

- What, what, what,
what, what, what, what.

(audience laughs)
Oh.

Oh, blast you, Merlyn!

This is all your fault!

♪ You swore that
you had taught me ♪

♪ everything from A to Z ♪

♪ With nary an
omission in between ♪

♪ Well, I shall tell you what ♪

♪ You obviously forgot ♪

♪ That how a ruler
rules a queen ♪

♪ And what of teaching me by ♪

♪ turning me to
animal and bird ♪

♪ From beaver to the
smallest bobolink ♪

♪ I should have had a whirl ♪

♪ At changing to a girl ♪

♪ to learn the way
the creatures think ♪

But wasn't there a night,

on a summer long gone by,

we saw a couple wrangling away,

and did I not say,

Merlyn, what if
that chap were I?

♪ And did he not give
counsel and say ♪

What was it now?

Oh, my mind's a wall.

Oh, yes, by Jove, now, I recall.

♪ How to handle a woman ♪

♪ There's a way, said
the wise old man ♪

♪ A way known to every woman ♪

♪ Since the whole
rigmarole began ♪

♪ Do I flatter her,
I begged him answer ♪

♪ Do I threaten or
cajole or plead ♪

♪ Do I brood or play
the gay romancer ♪

♪ Said he, smiling, no indeed ♪

♪ How to handle a woman ♪

♪ Mark me well, and
I'll tell you, sir ♪

♪ The way to handle a woman ♪

♪ Is to love her ♪

♪ Simply love her ♪

♪ Merely love her ♪

♪ Love her ♪

♪ Love her ♪

What's wrong, Jenny?

Where are you these days?

I, I don't understand you.

What are you thinking?

But no matter.

Merlyn said to me once, he said,

Arthur, never be too disturbed
if you don't understand

what a woman is thinking.

They don't do it very often.

(audience laughs)

But, but what do you do

while they're doing it?

♪ How to handle a woman ♪

♪ Mark me well, and
I'll tell you, sir ♪

♪ The way to handle a woman ♪

♪ Is to love her ♪

♪ Simply love her ♪

♪ Merely love her ♪

♪ Love her ♪

Oh, just love her.

(audience applauds)

♪ Sir Dinadan's in form ♪

♪ And feeling in his prime ♪

♪ Yaw, yaw, yaw ♪

♪ And, we'll all have
a glorious time ♪

♪ Sir Sagramore is fit ♪

♪ and Sir Lionel feels sublime ♪

♪ Yaw, yaw, yaw ♪

♪ And, we'll all have
a glorious time ♪

♪ Now look you there ♪

♪ Sir Dinadan's
astride, astride ♪

♪ It's obvious he will
be the first to ride ♪

♪ Good fortune, Dinadan ♪

♪ We hail you, Dinadan ♪

♪ Yaw, yaw, yaw ♪

♪ Yaw, yaw, yaw ♪

♪ Sir Dinadan, Sir Dinadan ♪

♪ Oh, there he goes with
all his might and main ♪

There he goes!

♪ He's got a steady
grip upon the rein ♪

- [Women] Steady,
steady, steady!

- [All] Steady!

♪ Sir Dinadan, Sir Dinadan ♪

♪ Oh, try to gallop
by him on the right ♪

- [Woman] On the right!

- [Women] On the right!

♪ For that's the arm where
you have all the might ♪

- [Men] To the right!

- [All] To the
right, to the right!

♪ By Jove, they're coming near ♪

♪ They're close ♪

♪ Sir Dinadan is
raising up his spear ♪

♪ Oh, charge him, Dinadan ♪

- [Men] Charge him!

♪ You have him now, so
charge him, Dinadan ♪

♪ Here comes the blow ♪

♪ Here comes the blow ♪

- [All] Oh, no!

♪ 'Twas luck,
that's all it was ♪

♪ Pure luck and nothing more ♪

♪ Sagramore will
even up the score ♪

♪ The Frenchman
struck him first ♪

♪ But the blow was
not that great ♪

♪ Sagramore will
open up his pate ♪

♪ That's Sir Sagramore ♪

♪ He's riding on the field ♪

- Oh, there's the black
and crimson of his shield.

♪ There he goes, there he goes ♪

♪ He's bending low and
spurring on his steed ♪

- [Women] There he goes!

♪ He's charging him at
record breaking speed ♪

- [Women] Charge, charge!

♪ Sagramore, oh, make his
armor crack and split in two ♪

- [Women] Crack him!

♪ A mighty whack as
only you can do ♪

- [Women] Crack him!

♪ Now, look you
through the dust ♪

- [All] Look!

♪ Sir Sagramore is
ready for the thrust ♪

♪ And now they're
circling 'round ♪

- [Women] Hit him!

♪ Sir Sagramore will
drive him to the ground ♪

♪ Here comes the blow ♪

♪ Here comes the blow ♪

- [All] Oh, no!

- (chuckles) He did
that rather well,

don't you think, dear?

♪ That horse of
Sagramore's is too old ♪

♪ But felling Dinadan
with one blow, dear ♪

♪ Sir Dinadan, I am
told has a nasty cold ♪

♪ Sir Lionel, Sir Lionel ♪

♪ Oh, charge at him and
throw him off his horse ♪

Go!

♪ Oh, show him what we
mean by English force ♪

- [Women] Knock him down!

- [All] Down!

♪ Sir Lionel, Sir Lionel ♪

♪ I've never seen him
ever ride as fast ♪

Go!

♪ That Frenchman will be
hopelessly outclassed ♪

Ya, ya, ya, ya!

♪ His spear is in the air ♪

♪ I tell you Lancelot
hasn't got a prayer ♪

♪ His shield is much too low ♪

Charge!

♪ A good hard thrust and
downward he will go ♪

♪ And here's the blow,
here comes the blow ♪

♪ Oh, no ♪

♪ Oh, no ♪

♪ Sir Lionel is down ♪

♪ Dear God, it isn't true ♪

♪ Sir Lionel is dead ♪

The spear has run him through.

(somber orchestral music)

- A miracle, it was a miracle!

Absolutely miraculous, what.

Imagine bringing that
chap back to life.

And that's a big chap, Arthur.

(audience laughs)

Ooh, he was an
enormous, big chap.

I mean, however the boy did it,

it must take an awful lot
of whatever it is he uses.

I say, do you think he could
help cure my rheumatism

or does he only go
in for bigger things?

You know sometimes from
sleeping out all those years

I get a pain that
starts about here--

- I don't know,
Pelly, I don't know!

The boy is in the hall,
go down and ask him!

The walk will do you good,
and the quiet will do me good.

- I say Arthur,
that's a bit snappy.

(audience laughs)

All right, I will.

I'll go down and
see the fellows.

- Wait, Pelly.

It was a bit snappy.

I do apologize.

- Of course. (chuckles)

Unimportant.

- Pelly, have you
never been in love?

- No, Lord old chap, no, no.

Never had the time.

Always been too busy
chasing the beast.

Now, I'm not young
enough or old enough.

- I'm too young and too old.

I'm too old not to
be uncertain of fears

that might be phantom,

and too young not to
be tormented by them.

- Well I, I don't know what
you're talking about Arthur.

Ah, well ma'am.

Hoo-hoo, that was
quite a day wasn't it?

- Yes it was, Pelly.

- (chuckles) I must say,

you were very generous
with the boy, ma'am.

When he stood there
looking at you

and you stood there
looking at him,

I must say it was very touching.

Didn't you think so, Arthur?

- Pelly.

Pelly, summon the Chamberlain.

Alert the court there are
to be festivities tonight.

Ask him come to my study

and bring the names of
those awaiting knighthood.

- Right, festivities, eh?

I'd better get down
to the blacksmith's

and get into my
formal togs. (laughs)

- Jenny, you look rather tired.

- Oh yes I am, rather.

- I'm sorry to have
to put you through

a formal affair this evening,

but I thought Lance should
be invested immediately.

- Oh yes, of course.

I shall be all right

- Jenny.

Jenny, why don't
you take Lady Anne

and go to the lodge
for a few days?

I'll join you in the weekend.

You know how she
always amuses you

with her gossip of the court,

and I think it might do you good

to get away from chivalry
and round tables for a while.

Don't you think?

Don't you think?

- Oh, Lance, go away.

Go away and don't come back.

♪ Before I gaze at you again ♪

♪ I'll need a time for tears ♪

♪ Before I gaze at you again ♪

♪ Let hours turn to years ♪

♪ I have so much ♪

♪ Forgetting to do ♪

♪ Before I try to
gaze again at you ♪

♪ Stay away until
you cross my mind ♪

♪ Barely once a day ♪

♪ Till the moment
I awake and find ♪

♪ I can smile and say ♪

♪ That I can gaze at you again ♪

♪ Without a blush or qualm ♪

♪ My eyes a-shine
like new again ♪

♪ My manner poised and calm ♪

♪ Stay far away ♪

♪ My love, far away ♪

♪ Till I forget I
gazed at you today ♪

♪ Today ♪

♪ Today ♪

(audience applauds)

- Forgive me, Milady.

I didn't mean to disturb you,

but I was told that
Arthur wanted to see me.

- I believe he does.

And you're not
disturbing me, Lancelot.

You are to be knighted.

- When, Milady?

- This evening.

- I wish he would not.

- Why?

- I'm not worthy of it, Milady.

I don't deserve it.

- Not deserve it?

Lancelot, what greater wonder
could you ever perform?

No, I'm sure Arthur
will insist on it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I
really must change for dinner.

But do wait here,
Arthur will be--

- Jenny, don't go.

Jenny,

I love you.

God forgive me, but I do.

- God forgive us both, Lance.

- I, I knew it since
the first afternoon.

Not when we met, but
when I walked away.

- When I--
- Lance!

Lance!

Lance!

Lance, oh, Lance.

I have been searching
for you everywhere.

What a stunning
achievement, my boy!

And the court,

you could almost hear their
hearts burst open to you.

Surely I can arrange
your knighthood now.

Sainthood is not in my power.

- I shall be honored, Arthur.

- But before we throw
ourselves into pomp and ritual,

I thought that we three might

have a quiet drink together.

If you'll make an
exception, Lance.

- I'll do it.

- Do you have any idea
the impact this miracle

will have on the country?

When this is known, they'll
come flocking to the Round Table

from one end of
England to the other.

From Scotland and Wales
and all those quests

we've planned for
the knights, Lance,

may now not be necessary.

For when it is known what
has happened here in Camelot

it is possible that they
will lay down their arms

and come of their own free will.

It is possible

that they will never
take up arms again.

And all orders will disappear

and there will be a
real, P, P, peace.

And all the things I dreamed.

I dreamed.

I dreamed.

(uptempo orchestral music)

Excalibur.

- The invested knights
of The Round Table

of Brackley, Colgrevance.

Of Winchester, Bliant.

Of Wales, Guilliam.

Of Cornwall, Castor.

Of Joyous Gard, Lancelot du Lac.

- Proposition.

If I could choose,
from every woman

who breathes on this earth,

the face I would
most love, the smile,

the laugh, the touch, the voice,

the heart, the very soul itself,

every feature and detail to
the last strand of the hair.

It would all be Jenny.

Proposition, if I could
choose from every man

who breathes on this
earth a man for my friend,

a man for my brother
and a man for my son,

they would all be Lance.

I love them.

Yes, I love them,

and they answer me
with pain and torment.

Be it sin or not sin,

they have betrayed
me in their hearts,

and that's far sin enough.

I see it in their eyes and
hear it when they speak,

and they must pay for
it and be punished.

I shan't be wounded and
not return it in kind.

I'm through with feeble hoping.

I demand a man's vengeance!

Proposition, I am
a king, not a man.

And a very civilized king
could it possibly be civilized

to love myself above all?

Could it possibly be civilized
to destroy the thing I love?

What of their pain
and their torment?

Did they ask for this calamity?

And can passion be selected?

Is there any doubt of their
devotion to me and to my table?

By God, Excalibur,
I shall be a king.

This is the time of King Arthur,

and we reach for the stars.

This is the time of King Arthur,

when violence is not strength

and compassion is not weakness.

We are civilized.

Resolved!

We shall go through
this together.

They, you and I!

And may God have
mercy on us all.

(dramatic orchestral music)

(audience applauds)

(audience chatters)

(group sings in
foreign language)

♪ Years may come, years may go ♪

♪ This I know, will e'er be so ♪

♪ The reason to live
is only to love ♪

♪ A goddess on earth
and a God above ♪

- Did you write this, Lancelot?

- Yes.

- Why do you always
write about you?

Why don't you ever
write about me?

- Well I can't write about you.

I love you too much.

Jenny, I should leave
you and never come back.

I've said it to
myself day after day

and year after year.

But how could I?

Look at you.

When would I?

♪ If ever I would leave you ♪

♪ It wouldn't be in summer ♪

♪ Seeing you in summer ♪

♪ I never would go ♪

♪ Your hair streaked
with sunlight ♪

♪ Your lips red as flame ♪

♪ Your face with a luster ♪

♪ That puts gold to shame ♪

♪ But if I'd ever leave you ♪

♪ It wouldn't be in autumn ♪

♪ How I'd leave in autumn ♪

♪ I never would know ♪

♪ I've seen how you sparkle ♪

♪ When fall nips the air ♪

♪ I know you in autumn ♪

♪ And I must be there ♪

♪ And could I
leave you running ♪

♪ Merrily through the snow ♪

♪ Or on a wintry evening ♪

♪ When you catch
the fire's glow ♪

♪ If ever I would leave you ♪

♪ How could it be
in springtime ♪

♪ Knowing how in spring ♪

♪ I'm bewitched by you so ♪

♪ Oh, no, not in springtime ♪

♪ Summer, winter or fall ♪

♪ No, never could I leave you ♪

♪ At all ♪

♪ If ever I would leave you ♪

♪ How could it be
in springtime ♪

♪ Knowing how in spring
I'm bewitched by you so ♪

♪ Oh, no, not in springtime ♪

♪ Summer, winter or fall ♪

♪ No, never could I leave you ♪

♪ At all ♪

(audience applauds)

Jenny.

How much do you
think Arthur knows?

- What is there to know?

Desire without hope,
love without loving.

- Why does he never
leave the castle

without one of us with him?

There are rumors in every
corner of every hall.

Surely he must have heard them.

Jenny, what if they
erupted into accusation?

- There is a court
of law now Lance,

there can be no accusation
without evidence,

and there is no evidence
and never will be.

It is time to go, Lady Anne?

- [Anne] Yes, Milady.

- I have a thrilling engagement
this afternoon, Lancelot.

I'm giving the prizes
at the cattle show.

I can't wait to see who wins.

- Oh, I have the list of
winners for you, Milady.

- Oh, the Aberdeen
Angus for a change.

I'm so pleased for him.

He's been working so
hard and losing for years

to the short horns.

Thank you for waiting
with me, Lancelot.

- Thank you for
allowing me, Milady.

- Ah, Camelot.

Where the king gives freedom
and the queen takes liberties.

You poor things.

Perhaps we can arrange a
little rendezvous for you.

- Ah Pelly, have you seen Lance?

He just left, Your Majesty.

He was here with the Queen.

- With the qu--

You aren't a member
of this court.

How dare you enter these
grounds unannounced.

- But I was announced, Milord.

Did the Chamberlain not say

that there was a young
man from Scotland

who wished to bring
you greetings?

- And were you not
informed all visitors

are to return
tomorrow afternoon?

- I shall be busy
tomorrow afternoon!

- By Jove, what impertinence!

You must be taught a lesson.

- Keep away, don't
touch me, I'm unarmed!

- Oh Pelly, call the guard!

Have this impertinent
young idiot thrown out.

- That's not a very kind way

to treat the son
of Queen Morgause.

Yes, Your Majesty.

I am Mordred.

- Mordred, wait--
- Your Majesty.

- Leave us, Pelly.

Well I'll be waiting nearby,
if you need me, Arthur.

- I bring you
greetings, Your Majesty,

from Queen Morgause
and King Lot.

- Mordred, I had lost
track of the years.

I had no idea you
had grown to manhood.

Please rise.

I trust your mother is well.

- The queen is splendid,
as ravishing as ever.

Which is not surprising.

Vigilant selfishness is
wonderful for the skin.

(Arthur chuckles)

I've been wandering
about the castle.

It's quite grand, really.

I love the way you've
mixed English with French.

Very tasteful.

- [Arthur] And what brings
you to Camelot, Mordred?

- A desire of
blood, Your Majesty.

I have followed
my brothers here.

Half brothers.

- (laughs) Oh, they'll be so
miserable to see me again.

Do you know what
they did to me once?

Mother had a youth potion
that took off ten years.

When I was nine they gave it
to me to make me minus one.

(Arthur and audience laugh)

- To visit your
brothers whom you detest

seems a rather odd reason
for so long a journey.

- And there's you, Your Majesty.

As I was saying, I
kept asking mother

why King Lot despised me so.

And then one day, not long ago,

she told me the marvelous news.

He's not my father.

How once, when she
was visiting England,

she met an attractive
lad named Arthur,

invited him to her room and
bewitched him for the night.

Is that the way the
story goes, Your Majesty?

- Yes.

That's the way the story goes.

- You can imagine her surprise

when later he became
the King of all England.

- Ah-ha!

Ah-ha.

Ah, ha.

Oh yes, I can
imagine her surprise.

And now that you're here,
what are your plans?

- That's for you to
decide, Your Majesty.

- Of course it is.

Here is what I suggest.

Here is what I offer.

Here is what I.

(Mordred chuckles)

You will remain here in Camelot

and become a Knight
of The Round Table.

You have youth, brains
and a proper heritage.

Much can be done, if
you apply yourself.

- How generous of
you, Your Majesty!

I can think of nothing
that would please me more

than to gain your confidence.

- Oh, I'm certain of that.

I shall be watching
you carefully Mordred,

very carefully indeed, to
see that you deserve it.

Tonight you will dine
with the queen and me,

we will try to get
to know you better.

Tomorrow your
training will began.

But I must warn you, Mordred,
favoritism will not be shown.

The right to knighthood
must be earned by virtue

and proper deeds.

- I shall try, Your Majesty.

- No doubt you will.

And Mordred.

You will not turn
your back on me,

and you will leave,
when I tell you.

I'll have you know that
I am a civilized man

with the occasional lapses.

The adage blood is
thicker than water

was invented by
undeserving relatives.

- Virtue and proper
deeds, Your Majesty?

Like what?

Courage, Milord?

Purity and humility, my liege?

Diligence, charity,
honesty, fidelity?

The seven deadly virtues?

No, thank you, Your Majesty.

♪ The seven deadly virtues ♪

♪ Those ghastly little traps ♪

♪ Oh, no, My Lord, they
weren't meant for me ♪

♪ Those seven deadly virtues ♪

♪ Were made for other chaps ♪

♪ Who love a life of
failure and ennui ♪

♪ Take courage ♪

♪ Now there's a sport ♪

♪ An invitation to the
state of rigor mort ♪

♪ And purity, a noble yen ♪

♪ And very restful
every now and then ♪

♪ I find humility
means to be hurt ♪

♪ It's not the earth the
meek inherit, it's the dirt ♪

♪ Honesty is fatal
and should be taboo ♪

♪ Diligence, a
fate I would hate ♪

♪ If charity means
giving, I give it to you ♪

♪ And fidelity is
only for your mate ♪

♪ You'd never find a virtue ♪

♪ Unstatusing my quo ♪

♪ Or making my
beelzebubble burst ♪

♪ Let others take
the high road ♪

♪ I will take the low ♪

♪ I cannot wait to rush in ♪

♪ Where angels fear to go ♪

♪ With all those
seven deadly virtues ♪

♪ Free and happy little
me has not been cursed ♪

(Mordred laughs)
(audience applauds)

- Good evening, Pelly.

Good evening, ma'am.

Arthur, I must speak
to you about Mordred.

- Mordred, must we
speak of Mordred?

Tonight is the first
night in a month

he hasn't been here for dinner,

and not having him here
makes it seem like a party.

- Arthur, I implore you,
get rid of him and quickly.

Arthur, he's setting
knight against knight.

He's bent on the
destruction of the table,

and I'm beginning to
believe he may achieve it.

- I know Lance.

- Arthur, you've got to face
it, you've sired a snake.

(audience laughs)

- He'll stop at
nothing to destroy you

to make his inheritance
come faster.

No matter how or through whom.

- Then we must make
certain that our passions

do not destroy our dreams.

We must make certain

that he is not given
the opportunity.

- Well, let him cross
my path and so help me,

I'll run him through.

- You will not, Lance, you
won't harm him I forbid it.

- But he's your mortal enemy.

- He's still my son!

Lance, despite all logic
I can't stop hoping

that there's still some good
in him that I can reach.

Besides, we got
civil law here now.

We can't take that law
back into our own hands.

If he violates the law,
the law will deal with him.

I must have your word on that.

- If that is what
you wish Arthur.

You have my word.

Goodnight ma'am.

Goodnight Sir Pelly.

- Goodnight Lancelot.

Pelly, tomorrow
let's go hunting.

I could do with some fresh air.

- (chuckles) Now
that is a better idea

than your court of law.

Goodnight ma'am.

Goodnight Arthur. (chuckles)

- Arthur, would you
like to be left alone?

You spend so much
time alone these days.

- No Jenny, I would
like you to stay.

Please stay, stay.

- Arthur, I hope you suffer
no guilt over Mordred.

I feel nothing for him,
and neither should you.

After all you're
not the first king

to have one of those
things running around.

(audience laughs)

- I do feel nothing for him.

There is no mistaking the fact

that he is a venomous specimen.

- Amen.

Well there's one thing
I can say for him,

he's bound to marry well.

Everyone is above him.

(audience laughs)

- Ah Jenny, even if
he were banished,

He would still remain a
constant menace to the throne

and a threat to us.

Oh Jenny.

- Oh, that dreadful boy.

One more added burden
we could do without.

- That's one burden
we cannot avoid.

- Royalty never can.

Why is that Arthur?

Other people do.

They have ways and means
of finding respite.

What do they do?

Farmers, cooks, blacksmiths.

♪ What do the simple folk do ♪

♪ To help them escape
when they're blue ♪

♪ The shepherd who is ailing ♪

♪ The milkmaid who is glum ♪

♪ The cobbler who is wailing ♪

♪ From nailing his thumb ♪

♪ When they're
beset and besieged ♪

♪ The folk not
noblessely obliged ♪

♪ However do they manage ♪

♪ To shed their weary lot ♪

♪ Oh, what do simple folk do ♪

♪ We do not ♪

♪ Once along a road
I came upon a lad ♪

♪ Singing in a voice
three times his size ♪

♪ And when I asked him why ♪

♪ He told me he was sad ♪

♪ And singing always
made his spirits rise ♪

♪ And that's what
simple folk do ♪

♪ I surmise ♪

♪ They sing ♪

♪ I surmise ♪

♪ Arise, my love,
arise, my love ♪

♪ Apollo's lighting
the skies, my love ♪

♪ The meadows shine
with columbine ♪

♪ And daffodils blossom away ♪

♪ What else do the
simple folk do ♪

♪ They must have
a system or two ♪

♪ They obviously outshine us ♪

♪ At turning tears to mirth ♪

♪ Have tricks a royal highness ♪

♪ Is minus from birth ♪

♪ What then I wonder do they ♪

♪ To chase all
the goblins away ♪

♪ They have some
tribal sorcery ♪

♪ You haven't mentioned yet ♪

♪ Oh, what do simple folk do ♪

♪ To forget ♪

♪ Often I am told ♪

♪ They dance a fiery dance ♪

♪ And whirl til they're
completely uncontrolled ♪

♪ Soon the mind is blank ♪

♪ And all are in a trance ♪

♪ A violent trance
astounding to behold ♪

♪ And that's what
simple folk do ♪

♪ So I'm told ♪

- They dance?

- So I'm told.

(lively orchestral music)

(Arthur claps rhythmically)

♪ What else do the
simple folk do ♪

♪ To help them escape
when they're blue ♪

♪ They sit around and wonder ♪

♪ What royal folk would do ♪

♪ And that's what
simple folk do ♪

I have it on the best authority

♪ Yes, that's what
simple folk do ♪

(audience applauds)

- Merlyn.

Merlyn!

- Arthur, where are you?

(chuckles) Well
come a long Arthur.

There's no partridges here.

No self-respecting bird
would be caught dead

in a place like this.

- Wait Pelly, wait.

Hello!

Hello!

- [Merlyn] Hello Wart.

- Pelly.

Echoes never forget Pelly.

This is where I grew up.

This is Merlyn's school house.

This?

School house?

Most depressing
halls of academia

yours truly has ever seen.

(chuckles) What
could you possibly

learn in a place like this?

- Well, if I told
you how Merlyn taught

me, you would not believe it.

- [Pellinore] Of
course, I believe it.

- By turning me into
animals and birds?

- I don't believe it.

- It's true.

Here I was a, I was a fish
and a hawk and a unicorn.

Oh Pelly, the fun.

I was so young then.

It was all filled with pink,
green, blue, yellow, gold

and wrapped in sunlight.

- Well Arthur, you stay here

and have your little
class reunion.

I'll just go and shoot a bird.

Ooh, I only hope
it won't be you.

- Merlyn, Merlyn. Merlyn!

Show me how to think!

Merlyn!

(dream-like harp music)

Merlyn.

Merlyn.

Merlyn.

Merlyn, how big a fish am I?

I've just seen a big
fish eat a little fish.

Am I the dinner or the diner?

- [Merlyn] What have
you seen Arthur?

Think!

What have you learned?

- Oh, nothing very much.

Except that, big
fish eat little fish

like they do everywhere else.

And that's not
right is it Merlyn?

Merlyn.

Merlyn I.

I, I don't like this pond.

Hook me out.

Change me into a hawk!

- [Merlyn] Look down
Arthur, what do you see?

- Trees and fields.

- [Merlyn] Can you
see where Camelot ends

and the next province begins?

- Of course not Merlyn, there
are no boundaries up here.

Their are no
boundaries anywhere.

- If you can see
them on the ground

and you can't see
them in the air,

then what do you know as a hawk

that you didn't know as Wart?

Think Arthur.

- I'm not thinking Merlyn.

I'm gliding.

The wind is taking me higher
and higher and higher.

Oh God, it's so
beautiful up here.

(dramatic orchestral music)

Merlyn.

- Good afternoon, Your Majesty.

- Merlyn.

Mordred.

What are you doing in the woods?

- Following in your
footsteps, Your Majesty.

Isn't this the legendary forest
you told me about so often?

- Yes, yes it is.

- Have you come to gather a
few stray nuggets of wisdom

you may have left behind?

- Wisdom, joy, call
it what you will.

Merlyn?

Mordred, come.

Come sit beside me.

Mordred, I don't clam
to have remembered

everything that Merlyn taught me

but this I do remember,
happiness he said, is a venture.

You can't be happy and wicked.

Triumphant perhaps,
but not happy.

Now if I could teach this to
you and make you believe it,

then at last, you
will be my son.

- Are you happy, Your Majesty?

- Yes.

- Is the queen?

- Yes.

- And Sir Lancelot?

- What are you implying?

- Nothing, Your Majesty.

It is simply that
I did not realize

that deception and
hypocrisy were candidates

for the badge of happiness.

You wish me to be your
son no more than I.

Then prove to me, I am wrong.

Give your son the
lesson of his life

and show me how virtue can
triumph without your presence.

Return to the castle!

Inform the court that His
Majesty will be hunting

throughout the night

and will not return
until, mid-morning.

- Yes, Your Majesty.

I shall deliver your
message at once.

- Lance, Jenny.

Be wise.

Be wise.

(midtempo orchestral music)

Oh God!

God, send an angel to the
castle and tell them to be wise!

Be wise!

("If Ever I Would Leave
You" by Lerner and Loewe)

- Jenny?

- Lance.

- I saw your lights
in the window.

I tried to stay away.

- Did anyone see you?

- No.

No, no one. The castle is dark.

I was careful.

Jenny, don't be afraid.

- But I am afraid.

We're alone, I swear.

No one saw me enter.

Jenny, Arthur's hunting
through the night and--

- We're not alone,
are we, Lance?

- We are, we are.

- We're not.

Here you are at last,
with your arms around me,

and the first thing
we think of is him.

But you love me, Jenny.

- Oh, I do.

I always will.

Night after night I've
thought of you here

and wished for it
with all my being.

But now suddenly, we are
less alone than ever.

- But why?

- Can't you see the shadow
that's come between us?

It's wider than the sea.

It fills the entire room.

Perhaps it would
have been better

had we not said one word
to each other at all.

♪ I loved you once in silence ♪

♪ And misery was all I knew ♪

♪ Trying so to keep
my love from showing ♪

♪ All the while not knowing ♪

♪ You loved me too ♪

♪ Yes, loved me in
lonesome silence ♪

♪ Your heart filled
with dark despair ♪

♪ Thinking love would
flame in you forever ♪

♪ And I'd never, never
know the flame was there ♪

♪ Then one day we cast
away our secret longing ♪

♪ The raging tide we held
inside would hold no more ♪

♪ The silence at
last was broken ♪

♪ We flung wide
our prison door ♪

♪ Every joyous word
of love was spoken ♪

♪ And now there's
twice as much grief ♪

♪ Twice the strain for us ♪

♪ Twice the despair ♪

♪ Twice the pain for us ♪

♪ As we had known ♪

♪ Before ♪

- Jenny.

It's because we're
here, here in Camelot

that everything is so wretched.

- No, Lance.
- Jenny, Jenny.

Come away with me
to Joyous Gard.

Let us have it open and
above board at last.

- I've told you a thousand times

I will never leave Arthur, ever.

Now, let us say
no more about it.

- But this agonizing torment

day after day, year after year.

Would God I had your
talent for acceptance,

your invincible English calm

- Oh, the insensitivity
of sensitive men.

Always they suffering so much,

they can suffer
nothing for others.

You think you're the
only one in torment.

I'm just as tortured,
just as anguished as you.

But what would you have us
do to this man we both love?

Run away, leave him?

Make him publicly miserable?

Force him to declare war on you,

where either one of you, if
not both, would be killed,

as well as hundreds of others?

What sort of heartbreaking
solution is that?

- Forgive me, Jenny.

Forgive me.

I shall never mention it again.

I swear.

Nor shall I come to you again.

I swear that, too.

- Lance?

Have we no more tender
words to say to each other?

♪ The silence at
last was broken ♪

♪ We flung wide
our prison door ♪

♪ Every joyous word
of love was spoken ♪

♪ And after all had been said ♪

♪ Here we are, my love ♪

♪ Silent once more ♪

♪ And not far, my love ♪

♪ From where we were be ♪

- Lancelot!

Don't touch your dagger.

I accuse you of treason,

and order you both to
stand trial for your crime.

Surrender in the
name of the king!

- Mordred!

If I escape, I shall
come and rescue you.

If I am killed, send
word to Joyous Gard.

Someone will come.

♪ Out of the room,
down the hall ♪

♪ Through the
yard, to the wall ♪

♪ Slashing fiercely,
left and right ♪

♪ Lance escaped them
and took flight ♪

♪ On a day, dark and drear ♪

♪ Came to trial Guenevere ♪

♪ Ruled the jury for her shame ♪

♪ She be sentenced
to the flame ♪

♪ As the dawn filled the sky ♪

♪ On the day she would die ♪

♪ There was wonder
far and near ♪

♪ Would the king
burn Guenevere ♪

♪ Would the king let her die ♪

♪ Would the king let her die ♪

♪ There was wonder
far and near ♪

♪ Would the king
burn Guenevere ♪

- What a magnificent dilemma

Let her die, your life is over,

let her live, your
life's a fraud.

Now which will it be, Arthur?

Kill the queen or kill the law?

- The jury has ruled,
let justice be done.

♪ She must burn ♪

♪ She must burn ♪

♪ Spoke the king,
she must burn ♪

♪ And the moment now was here ♪

♪ For the end of Guenevere ♪

♪ Slow her walk,
bowed her head ♪

♪ To the stake she was led ♪

- The Queen is at the
stake, Your Majesty.

Shall I signal the
torch, Your Majesty?

♪ In his grief, so alone ♪

♪ From the king came a moan ♪

- I can't!

I can't let her die!

- Well, you're human after
all, human and helpless.

- Shall I signal the
torch, Your Majesty?

- Lance, come save her!

♪ Then suddenly earth and sky ♪

♪ Were dazed by
a pounding roar ♪

♪ And suddenly through the
dawn an army began to pour ♪

♪ And lo, ahead the army
holding aloft his spear ♪

♪ Came Lancelot to save
his dear Guenevere ♪

- Arthur, an army from Joyous
Gard is storming the gate.

Shall I double the guard?

Arthur, you're
inviting a massacre!

- Save her, Lance, save her!

- Can you see your
goodly Lancelot

murdering your goodly knights?

Your table is cracking, Arthur.

Can you hear the timbers split?

♪ By the score fell the dead ♪

♪ As the yard turned to red ♪

♪ Countless numbers
felt his spear ♪

♪ As he rescued Guenevere ♪

- Merlyn, change me a hawk!

Fly me away from here!

- What a failure
you are, Arthur!

How did you think
you could survive

without being as ruthless as I?

- Merlyn!

♪ In that dawn, in that gloom ♪

Merlyn!

♪ More than love met its doom ♪

♪ In the dying candles' gleam ♪

♪ Came the sundown of a dream ♪

- Most of the guard is killed,

Arthur, and over eighty knights.

They're heading for the Channel.

I'll make ready
the army to follow.

Arthur, we want revenge!

- Oh, God, is it
all to start again?

Is my almighty fling at
peace to be over so soon?

Am I back where I began?

Am I, am I, am I?

♪ Guenevere, Guenevere ♪

♪ In that dim, mournful year ♪

♪ Saw the men she
held most dear ♪

♪ Go to war for Guenevere ♪

♪ Guenevere, Guenevere ♪

♪ Guenevere, Guenevere ♪

♪ Saw the men she
held most dear ♪

♪ Go to war for Guenevere ♪

♪ Guenevere ♪

♪ Guenevere, Guenevere ♪

- Merlyn!

Why did you teach
me how to think?

Was it to create a mirage
called hope and ideals?

Barbarism is a
natural state of man.

What good is reason if it
doesn't touch the heart?

- Jenny, he's here.

- Was either of you
hurt in the escape?

- Untouched, Arthur.

- Arthur, we want to
return with you to England.

No matter what the cost, we've
got to make things right.

- [Lancelot] This war will do
horrible harm to the Table,

Arthur, we must stop
it now before it grows.

- [Guenevere] Arthur, let us
pay for what we have done.

- At the stake?

No, I won't take you back.

I shan't let you
return, for what end?

Justice?

They have forgotten
about justice.

They want revenge!

(Arthur sobs)

Revenge!

Revenge, the most
worthless of causes.

It's too late, Lance,
the table is dead.

It exists no more.

- [Guenevere] What?

- Over half the knights
were killed in the yard.

Some have escaped with
Mordred to Orkney,

I suppose to organize
an army against me,

and the rest are
waiting in their tents,

itching for dawn, cheerful
to be at war again.

It's those old uncivilized
days returned once more.

Those dreadful days we thought
to put to sleep forever.

- It's your wish, Arthur,

that this dread battle go on?

- No, it's not my wish, Lance!

It is not my wish!

Well I, I.

I can think no longer what to do

but to ride the tide of events.

Oh God.

God.

All we've been through,
for nothing but an idea.

Something you can't touch
or taste, smell or feel,

Something without substance,
life, reality or memory.

(trumpet music)

The charade begins soon.

You must go back to Joyous Gard.

- Jenny is not at
Joyous Gard, Arthur.

She.

She stays with the Holy Sisters.

Is there nothing to be done?

- There's nothing to be
done, but play out the game

and leave the decisions to God.

Go now.

Go, go please.

Please go now, go.

Lance!

Lance.

(somber orchestral music)

You.

You must go to Jenny.

- [Guenevere] I know.

So often in the past, Arthur,

I would look into your eyes,

and there I would
find forgiveness.

Perhaps one day in the
future it'll be there again.

But I won't be with you.

I won't know it.

- Oh Jenny.

Jenny.

Jenny.

Goodbye, my love.

- Oh, Arthur.

I see what I wanted to see.

- My dearest love.

Who's there?

Who's there?

Come out, come out
I said, come out.

- Forgive me Your Majesty

I was searching for the
Sergeant of Arms and got lost.

I didn't wish to disturb you.

- Who are you?

You ought to be in bed.

Are you a page?

- I stowed away on one of
the boats, Your Majesty.

I came to fight for
The Round Table.

I'm very good with a bow.

- And do you intend to kill
people with this bow of yours?

- Oh yes, Milord.

A great many I hope.

- And supposing they kill you?

- Then I shall be dead M'lord.

But I don't intend to be dead.

I intend to be a knight.

- A knight?

- Yes M'lord.

Of The Round Table.

- Well tell me,
when did you decide,

upon this nonexistent
career of yours?

Was your vintage protected by
knights when you're small boy?

Your father, did
he serve a knight?

Your mother was she
saved by a knight?

- Oh no M'lord, I had
never seen a knight

until I stowed away.

I only know of them,
the stories people tell.

- And from the
stories people tell,

you wish to become a knight?

Tell me what you think you know

of the Knights and
The Round Table.

- I know everything my Milord.

Might for right,
right for right.

Justice for all.

A Round Table were
all knights would sit.

Everything.

- Come here, come.

Come, come, come, come.

Come hear my boy.

- What is your name?

- It is Tom, Milord.

- And where is your home, Tom?

- In Warwick, Milord.

Now listen to me,
Tom of Warwick.

You will not fight in
the battle tonight.

Do you understand?

- Yes, Milord.

You will run behind the
lines, hide in a tent

until the battle is over.

Return to England alive.

To grow up and grow old.

- [Tom] Yes, Milord.

- And for as long as you live
you will remember what I,

the king, tell you, and
you will do as I command.

- [Tom] Yes, Milord.

- Each evening from
December to December.

Before you drift to
sleep upon your cot,

Think back

♪ On all the tales
that you remember ♪

♪ Of Camelot ♪

Ask every person if
he's heard the story,

and tell it strong and
clear if he has not!

That once there
was a fleeting wisp

♪ Of glory ♪

♪ Called Camelot ♪

♪ Camelot ♪

♪ Camelot ♪

Now say it out
with love and joy!

- Camelot!

Camelot!

- Yes, Camelot, my boy.

♪ Where once it never
rained till after sundown ♪

♪ By 8 a.m. the
morning fog had flown ♪

♪ Don't let it be forgot ♪

♪ That once there was a spot ♪

♪ For one brief shining moment ♪

♪ That was known as Camelot ♪

- [Pellinore] Arthur.

- Give me the sword
Pelly, and my crown.

Kneel, Tom, kneel.

Thank you Pelly.

With this sword, Excalibur, I
knight you Sir Tom of Warwick.

And I command you to return
home and carry out my orders.

- [Pellinore] Yes, Milord.

What are you doing, Arthur?

Arthur, You have
a battle to fight.

- Battle Pelly?

I've fought my battle.

I won my battle.

Here is my victory.

What we did will be
remembered, Pelly.

You'll see.

Now, run home, Sir Tom.

Behind the lines.

- Yes, Milord.

- Who is that, Arthur?

- One of what we all are, Pelly.

Less than a drop in the great
blue motion of the sunlit sea.

But it seems some of the
drops sparkle, Pelly.

Some of them do sparkle!

(dramatic orchestral music)
Run, boy!

Run, boy!

(audience applauds)

("Camelot" by Lerner and Loewe)