Came a Hot Friday (1985) - full transcript
Set in post-war (1949) rural New Zealand, this film traces the efforts of two con men to run a betting scam in a small town (Tainuea) already rife with illegal gambling corruption, and eccentricity.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
BETTOR 1: Pound for a win on
number two.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
BETTOR 2: Ten bob on number
three, mate.
BETTOR 3: Pound on number one.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Go!
RACE ANNOUNCER: [INAUDIBLE]
going out early.
[INAUDIBLE] a little bit
[INAUDIBLE]..
[CHEERING]
[INAUDIBLE]
[CHEERING]
[INAUDIBLE]
[GROANING]
Excuse me, sir. Excuse me.
Ah, gentlemen.
Now the lot on--
Speak to me, speak to me, oh
ancient gods of chance.
Give me a sign.
A sign!
A sign!
Give me a sign.
If you're going to bet, bet.
If not, piss off.
It is like water divining or--
[CAR HORN]
[SHOUTING]
--the laying on of hands. [PHONE
RINGING]
It's a similar sort of thing to
that.
It's coming to me. Yes, I'm
almost there.
It's there.
BARTENDER: Is there a Gaines in
the bar?
Mr. Gaines?
Come-- it's coming.
Race two, number seven on the
nose, gentlemen.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
RADIO ANNOUNCER: This is the
national program.
The time is 1:00.
Time for the afternoon summary
of racing results.
[SCREECHING BRAKES]
One result [INAUDIBLE] in
Plymouth, the Maiden's Mile.
First, number seven, Wickham's
Folly,
five pounds, eight shillings,
and--
I knew it!
I knew it!
Oh, gentlemen, I appear to have
cleaned up.
Not from me, you haven't.
That bet was late, 10 minutes
late.
10 minute-- no, no, sir, a few
seconds, perhaps a few seconds.
Where's your mate?
Mate?
The mate you're running this
little scam with.
Scam? No, there's no scam.
This is all perfectly
aboveboard.
Gentlemen, I have witnesses.
Everybody saw me.
I mean, I put the--
look, I'm not going to argue the
issue, I have an urgent--
Excuse me, I have an urgent
meeting.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[SHOUTING]
Yah!
Ooh!
Hey!
[SCREECHING BRAKES]
[SCREECHING TIRES]
[SHOUTING]
[SCREECHING TIRES]
[GROANING]
[SCREECHING TIRES]
CYRIL KIDMAN: Crikey, Wes, that
was good.
WES PENNINGTON: Where were you?
Why didn't you ring?
You left me standing around in
there like some prize dog.
Well, I had to run for
[INAUDIBLE]..
The phone was miles away.
The phone?
I could have been killed in
there.
CYRIL KIDMAN: We'll get it this
time, Wes, promise!
[YELLING] This time!
[SCREECHING TIRES]
[MUSIC - BEAVER, "THIS TIME"]
[SINGING] Look at the stars and
they're smiling down.
They're telling me, don't you
see?
Life's too short to shag around.
You gotta take a chance if you
wanna be free.
Looking for the big one, you
better move fast.
Gotta be in to win.
So roll the dice and deal the
cards,
and give that wheel a spin.
'Cause this time, the wheel of
fortune's going to spin for me.
This time Lady Luck's gonna
dance with me.
This time the wheel of fortune's
going to spin for me.
This time, Lady Luck's going to
dance with me.
This time, this time, this time.
WES PENNINGTON: What we need is
a course with a closer phone.
CYRIL KIDMAN: I reckon.
WES PENNINGTON: The phone.
CYRIL KIDMAN: It's the phone.
WES PENNINGTON: It's always the
phone.
[SCREECHING TIRES]
A small still voice, Cyril
[INAUDIBLE]
tells me that our dry spell may
be over.
Perfect.
CYRIL KIDMAN: Isn't it a bit
small, Wes?
Just a bit [INAUDIBLE],, don't
you think?
It's not the size of the track,
Cyril [INAUDIBLE]
It's the size of the divvies.
Hop into the Jockey Club
tomorrow.
It's [INAUDIBLE].
It's on the wireless.
Oh, great.
And there, Cyril [INAUDIBLE].
Not a hop, step and a jump away,
a telephone.
[INAUDIBLE].
Occasionally, Cyril, your
powers of observation
are truly astounding.
Thank you, Wes.
Good lad.
What a magnificent landscape.
Earth has not anything to show
more fair.
[INAUDIBLE] All we need now is a
nearby town.
CYRIL KIDMAN: With a pub.
WES PENNINGTON: Oh, and a
wealthy bookie.
I can feel it in my bones, Cyril
[INAUDIBLE]..
Great gambling's [INAUDIBLE].
SEL BISHOP: You've really made a
mess of your life,
haven't you, Morrie?
You any idea how far you're on
account with me?
Sel.
Claire, tell you brother how
much he owes me.
Go easy on him, Sel.
Oh, I'll fix you up, Sel.
Yeah.
Here, what with, Morrie?
Empties?
No, Sel, don't!
OK, let's call it quits.
You do a little job for me, and
we call it quits,
what do you say?
Shut up
[GUNSHOT]
[SQUEAKING NOISE]
Lunatic!
[GUNSHOT]
[FANFARE]
WES PENNINGTON: The Assyrian
came
down like a wolf on the fold.
Don't rub too hard, Don.
It might drop off.
Afternoon, Mrs. Melton.
[SCREECHING BRAKES]
Who is that vision of maidenly
delight?
It's Dinah Melton, the boss's
new wife.
The swine.
[BARKS LIKE A DOG]
Oh, crikey, Dinah.
Oh, darling!
[LAUGHTER]
[MOANING]
[SCREAMING]
[GIGGLING]
What you figure on,
[INAUDIBLE]??
The Oldsmobile.
Another rag.
899.
Oh, you've got to be joking.
It's only one year old.
Yeah, but I'm not.
Cyril--
Oh, Wes!
Oh, hello, young fellow.
Is this Tainuia?
This is Tainuia.
Tell me, if two well-heeled
young fellows such as Sel
and myself were in the mood for
an evening
of unbridled debauchery, where
would we start?
The boozer.
The boozer.
The boozer!
But of course, why didn't we
think of that, Sel?
CYRIL KIDMAN: No idea. - Wesley
Pennington.
Cyril Kidman.
Oh, Don Jackson.
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
[SCREECHING TIRES]
Corker.
Take it easy, Cyril.
Calm down, we don't wish to
antagonize the locals, do we?
[INAUDIBLE]
Soften them up a little.
Right.
After you, Wes.
Thank you, Cyril.
[CHATTER]
Gentlemen!
[BELCHING]
[CHATTER]
Ale, my good man.
City jokers, eh?
Yep, we sure is, [INAUDIBLE].
By way of introduction, a few
holiday snaps.
Holy Moses!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
MAN 1: This guy's got enough
[INAUDIBLE]..
MAN 2: --poses for these things?
Careful sir, you're talking of
the woman I love.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Hey, Norm?
Norm, cast your eyes on
[INAUDIBLE]..
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Hey, we got a photo of your
Mrs. over here, George.
Yeah, we got your Mrs. here,
look at that.
These yours?
Mm, rude aren't they?
Give it back
Filthy.
WES PENNINGTON: Just a minute,
sir, just a minute.
- You're talking to me? - Indeed
I am.
The photos are mine.
Is that right?
I'm sure the cops would be
interested to know that.
Oh, Wes.
You get the picture?
Clear as day, sir.
I mean, we're all slaves to the
social vices.
Others prefer the most solitary
kind.
I can see your need is greater
than ours.
I should warn you, it can make
you blind.
It can make you blind.
[LAUGHTER]
I thought he was going to belt
me.
Cops, he's going to get the
cops.
I don't think so, Cyril.
Who was that baboon?
The baboon's name is Norman
Cray.
He's the local bookie.
Oh, jeez, Wes!
Oh no.
That's poked it.
We seem to have struck a bit of
a problem here, Cyril.
Wes, we're puckarooed, mate.
Maybe we should try and find
another town.
No, no, no it's not
insurmountable.
I usually think of something.
There's got to be an answer
somewhere.
Somewhere, there's some--
there's some--
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
[SCREECHING TIRES]
[YELLING]
[SCREECHING TIRES]
Donaldo, what a coincidence, me
bumping into you like this.
We need someone who can show us
where to get a good feed.
Besides, I have a proposition to
put to you.
[SCREECHING TIRES]
Business is booming, Donald.
But we need a bright young lad
to take on a sort of trainee.
I've got a job.
Absolutely, it's yours.
Let's discuss it over a good
meal, shall we?
A pie and chips three times,
dear lady.
Hello, Donald.
Hi.
Having a night out on the town?
Yeah.
Don.
You want to listen to Wes, my
son,
because this is the real drum,
no two ways.
But my dad will go crock if I'm
late.
What a proud father he must be,
eh, Cyril?
Now relax, we're letting you in
on something rather big.
DON JACKSON: What is it?
WES PENNINGTON: [WHISPERING]
Ssh, not here.
Is that your car outside?
Sure is, sweetheart.
It's a doozy.
You ain't such a dog yourself.
Going to the dance tomorrow
night, Donald?
Oh, I don't know.
Dance?
Dance, what's this dance?
It's out a Sel Bishop's wool
shed.
Keep your eyes open for me,
sweetheart.
I will.
Did you observe that, Donald?
Our Cyril here is a veritable
Don Juan.
How does he do it, I ask myself,
and then what's his secret.
Decent mark on a good set of
wheels, mate, no two ways.
So you come in with us on this
little venture, Donald,
you'll have enough shekels to
pick up
all the class talent in town.
What would I have to do?
Ah, not here, sanctum
sanctorum.
Hey, Claire?
Talk to him.
Jeez, Claire.
I'm no bloody criminal.
It's not as if someone's home
or anything, Morrie.
It's just one of Sel's run-down
dumps.
There you go, Sel.
Sorry, Sel, it's not much.
Business has been a bit slow.
[COUGHING]
It's just old Pop Simon.
I let him have the room
upstairs.
You don't mind, do you, Sel?
They're poor misguided fools,
Donald,
felled in some foreign field.
My dad was wounded in the war.
He lost his leg.
Ah, a noble breed, the heroes
of Crete
and [INAUDIBLE] fighting for
freedom against the Hun.
Now concentrate, concentrate.
Everybody thinks I'm dumb, but
I'm not dumb.
I just like to think about
things, that's all.
You're not dumb, Donald.
You wouldn't be in this
operation if you were dumb.
She doesn't think I'm dumb.
She just thinks I'm funny.
Forget the dusky maiden,
Donald.
Concentrate on the matter in
hand.
Absalom.
It starts with A, number one.
Balthazar.
Starts with a B, number two.
A fiver each way.
Cockroach.
Starts with a C, number three.
Donald.
- Starts with a D, number-- - Oh
god.
I'm sorry, Wes, I'm sorry.
I really love her, Mr.
Pennington.
Well, of course you do, Donald.
Of course you do.
He's drunk as a skunk, Wes.
Will you concentrate?
Who's there?
What's going on there?
Oh, hey Sarge--
Sergeant.
Sergeant?
Cops!
Cops, the cops.
Yes, officer, we're just paying
our respects [INAUDIBLE]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Go on, go home.
Young hooligans.
WES PENNINGTON: Lovely evening,
Constable.
Sergeant!
DON JACKSON: Dad won't like
this.
You are joining an honorable
profession, Donald.
When I think of all the poor
souls who've been brought
to the brink of bankruptcy, even
suicide
by unscrupulous bookmakers, I
think of us as wearing
the mantle of avenging angels.
We're dispensing a kind of wild
divine justice.
[SCREECHING TIRES]
Donald.
Donald?
[YELLING] Donald?
Ssh!
WES PENNINGTON: [WHISPERING]
You'll
need some of the folding stuff
for the bets,
not for pouring down the throat.
Remember, a fiver each way on
the first race.
Whatever you can get on after
that.
Cockroach.
I beg your pardon?
Fiver each way, starts with
three, number C.
Good lad.
The first race starts--
At 11:00.
Excellent, excellent.
Now get a good night's sleep,
eh?
Tomorrow's a busy day.
CYRIL KIDMAN: Good night,
Donald!
[CAT MEOWING]
[SNORING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Strewth!
[SCREECHING TIRES]
Ooh, what a cracker,
[INAUDIBLE]..
Right, let's get a good seat
before the crowds arrive.
Whoo!
It's the chip shop!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[SIRENS]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[INAUDIBLE] There's nothing I
like better than a good fire.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
It reminds me of the Brits.
Battle of Britain, Wes?
No, a city nightclub in the
1920s.
Some fool girl caught her skirt
in the footlights.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Anybody got a light?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
How are we going to put out a
fire with [INAUDIBLE]??
Volunteer fire brigade, Wes.
Always the same, Cyril.
They're undermanned, you see.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
There's no pressure in the hose.
Must have a leak.
Nothing but [INAUDIBLE].
My god, there's somebody in
there.
Pop's in there!
Pop Simon's in there!
[SHOUTING]
MAN: [SCREAMING] Morrie, you
fool!
Come back!
Morrie!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Stand back!
Stand back, there, stand back.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Hero.
You're a hero.
You're a proper Kiwi.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
You all right?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Right, get him [INAUDIBLE].
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Careful, Willy.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
WES PENNINGTON: [SINGING] Oh,
the devil's poison into God's
cleansing river.
It's of no further use to man,
when it's
filtered through the liver.
[PISTOL COCKING]
KID: Senor?
You [INAUDIBLE] in the river,
and the taniwha
is going to leap up [INAUDIBLE]
and bite
your [INAUDIBLE] You comprend--
you com-- you understand me?
Cyril!
Cyril, did you see anyone?
- No. - Are you sure?
- Sorry, Wes. - That's all
right.
It's all right. Now where's the
toothpaste?
- It's in the front [INAUDIBLE].
- Thanks.
Ah!
I'm really worried about that
joker, Wes.
No, don't worry about Donald.
He's seen the gleam of gold.
Nothing's designed to make a man
more reliable, Cyril.
You know, Wes, this is true.
[THUMPING]
[GROANING]
Well, well, well, decide to
rejoin the living, have you?
Oh, I feel terrible, Dad.
By Jingo, if your mother could
see you now.
You've been drinking, haven't
you?
And what about that gate?
Oh jeez, I'm sorry, Dad.
Yeah, well you really take the
cake, doncha?
I was worried sick about you.
Don't come home.
I almost had the cops out
looking for you last night.
Drinking at your age!
What's the time?
Time?
It's nearly 11:00, and we were
going to be in that garden
by 9:00. [GROANING]
Where are you off to now?
I don't know.
[GAGGING]
I don't know what's got into
you, young fella.
Yeah, I had to feed your dinner
to the fowls last night.
Tripe and onions, it was.
[RETCHING]
[FANFARE]
Oh, I got to shake a leg.
What do you mean, shake a leg?
I'm late.
Where are you going? DON
JACKSON: Out.
Well, don't think you can use
this place as a boarding house.
I'm not.
I promised someone, all right?
You promised me too, son.
[FANFARE]
[CHATTER]
I'm in with something really
big.
What do you mean, big?
I've got to tip off.
Tip off?
What are you talking about?
Can't tell you, Dad.
Now, now, just a minute.
You don't-- just you come back
here.
Don't-- - I've gotta go!
RACE ANNOUNCER: It's time A race
in a pretty good [INAUDIBLE]
the lead from King George, then
Bingo.
[INAUDIBLE] and Windsor Knot.
And [INAUDIBLE] is the next
horse [INAUDIBLE]..
[CHEERING]
[INAUDIBLE] down there.
Now they're breaking to the far
side,
coming out of [INAUDIBLE] half
length early from King George.
Right behind him is Bingo.
[INAUDIBLE] They're going down
there swinging
[INAUDIBLE] a long way to go.
And it's Windsor Knot
[INAUDIBLE]
coming home, and [INAUDIBLE].
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hello?
694.
[PHONE RINGING]
Is there a Cockroach in the
bar?
Cockroach?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Got a winner, have you?
Fiver each way.
Have you been robbing the till?
No, no, no, it's savings, eh?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[INAUDIBLE] on number three at
Harperton, Windsor Knot,
number three each way.
Number three?
Eh, that's a big bet for a young
fellow.
Feeling lucky, eh?
No, it's number three each way.
OK, five, five each way wins
the lot.
Jackson, is it?
Yeah, Don.
OK.
Oh, buzz off.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
RACE ANNOUNCER: [INAUDIBLE]
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Jockey Club
meeting at Harperton.
The result of the second event,
first number three,
Windsor Knot.
Second, number 12, [INAUDIBLE].
Hey, you got it!
Yeah!
Hang on, hang on.
Number three, Windsor Knot, has
paid three pounds, five
shillings, and one pound 10.
Crikey!
You've made over 20 quid.
Guess I'm in the money.
Come on, let's go and collect
it.
I won.
Yeah, that's chicken feed, son.
There's something I want to
tell you, though.
That bet went on late. [PHONE
RINGING]
Oh, come on, [INAUDIBLE]. What
do you mean?
He's been in here all the time.
[YELLING] Phone for Mr. Gettys?
You think he's got a crystal
ball or something?
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
All of that on the next at
Harperton,
number seven each way.
A real gambler, eh?
Yeah.
Number seven, eh?
All right, Jackson.
[WHISTLING]
What do I do with these?
Eat them?
RADIO ANNOUNCER: From Harperton,
the third race.
First, number five, Al Fresco.
[YELLING] Crikey!
[CHEERING]
[INAUDIBLE] That's about--
that's about 100 quid!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Don't take [INAUDIBLE] Norm.
Let's see the color you go now.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[YELLING] That's all right,
I'll pay the little runt.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
There's no need to abuse him
just cause he struck it lucky.
Nobody's abusing anybody.
Hang on, what's your next bet?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
All right, I have see to what's
running.
Harperton, race three.
Race three?
That'd be just about past the
winning post by now.
Come on, make it snappy.
What's your pick?
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
[YELLING] Wes!
Look, mate, hurry up.
I don't take late bets.
Hey, leave him alone.
He just wants to cool his heels.
Just leave him alone.
Right now this is my money.
Come on, where's your bet?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Thinking!
Hey, just a minute, young man.
Young man, this is an emergency.
It's a phone call for the
governor general.
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
Look, I said what's your bet?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Um, uh.
All right, give me the phone.
Give me the phone, you young
fascist.
Give me that phone.
Give me the phone.
Ah!
Right.
There's something fishy going
on here.
No, no, no no.
Make-- make it number nine.
[GROANING]
Four bob each way.
What?
What the hell are you playing
at?
Well, make it a pound.
A pound, a pound each way.
Look, mate, what's going on?
Nothing.
- Look, lay off, Norm. - You're
a liar.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Right, all on number nine.
Ah, come on.
Just pay the kid his money.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Look, shut up, will ya?
He been making all our bets all
day.
All on number nine?
Oh no, no, no, make it
something else.
- What, then? - [INAUDIBLE] I
don't know!
Come on, what?
[CHEERING]
[SHEEP BAAING]
What a doozy, boy!
We've just made a packet, Wes.
What a team, what a team!
Oh, with the two of us out here,
it's such a breeze.
The trouble's always been the
phone.
Oh, Jesus, number nine, then.
[GROANING]
Number nine.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
What's the problem, Morrie?
We're in the [INAUDIBLE], Sel.
Oh yeah, why is that?
He's dead.
Who's dead?
Pop!
Who else?
Is that right?
You don't even care, do you?
Hey, hey, hey, Morrie, come
here.
Come on, come in.
We'll talk about it.
Here, what are we going to do,
Sel?
Don't worry about it.
It's not a problem, all right?
God, you don't care, do you?
As long as you get your bloody
insurance money,
that's all you care about.
Morrie, Morrie, we didn't do
anything, all right?
We bloody did.
Now I've got to carry the guilt.
Come on, don't tell the world
about it.
I bloody will.
I'm not carrying this thing on
me own.
They're going to put me away for
the rest of my life anyway,
so you're not getting off scot
free.
No, no, no one is going to be
put away, Morrie, all right?
Believe me, no one is going to
be put away.
Yeah?
What are we going to do, Sel?
Trust me, just trust me.
Have a drink, Morrie.
I'll take care of it.
I will take care of it.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
It's a donkey.
I picked a real donkey, Dick.
Listen, man, it's not worth
worrying about.
It's only money.
Look, I'll tell you what.
If it'll cheer you up, I'll give
you 10 quid back.
How about that?
It's not the same. [INTERPOSING
VOICES]
Hey, listen.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: --run over a
distance off 11 furlongs.
[INAUDIBLE] Jockey Club
officials were
very pleased with the turnout--
Hey, listen, shut up, you
[INAUDIBLE]..
The results are coming through.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: --today on a
fast track in sunny weather.
First, number nine, Gin Sling,
12 pounds, 10 shillings,
and five pounds 10 and 6.
[CHEERING]
[INAUDIBLE]
Don's just taken Norm Cray for
a bloody fortune!
Hold it right there, I'm coming
in.
[YELLING] Crikey, [INAUDIBLE]
Don.
Good on ya, mate, Good on ya!
We blew it, Wes.
It was an outsider.
It would have paid a fortune.
I'm a millionaire!
Well, come on, let's go and get
it.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Have you got that kind of
money, Norm?
Yeah, of course I have.
Yeah?
Here you are, Norman.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Looks like the bank's gone
bust.
[LAUGHTER]
Norm Cray always pays his
clients, big or small.
[JEERING]
Norm Cray always pays.
[JEERING]
Here's 800.
Ooh!
[MURMURING]
There's the rest.
[YELLING] [INAUDIBLE] drinks
are on me!
[CHEERING]
Just leave it there, Curly.
I'll take it in.
We'll see you tonight.
Yeah, OK.
[SCREECHING TIRES]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHATTER]
Wes!
[LAUGHTER]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Hey, you [INAUDIBLE] left a bit
late.
What for?
We won [INAUDIBLE] in the last
couple of hours.
[LAUGHTER]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Hey hey, young Don Jackson just
took
Norm Cray for a 1,000 quid.
Where is he?
Hey, I want to go back to the
party.
Yeah, yes, all right,
sweetheart, we're going.
Don, I reckon you'll be
celebrating all weekend,
so you'll be needing transport.
- Oh, good one. - Well, take
your pick.
[LAUGHTER] - Come on, Dick!
Yeah, coming.
Go on!
[LAUGHTER]
Hey, Don, don't spend it all at
once now.
You going to the dance?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right, we'll see you there.
See ya. Have fun.
Bye!
Boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh
boy, oh boy.
[FANFARE]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[LAUGHTER]
Have you seen, Morrie?
Sel, I haven't seen him all day.
I'm worried about him.
Forget it, Claire.
He's a big boy, he can take care
of himself.
Sel, I'm worried about him.
Cyril?
[WHISTLES]
- Hello, [INAUDIBLE] - Oh, hi!
Sweetheart.
Hear you struck it rich.
Yeah, you jokers wouldn't
believe what happened today.
Hey, hang on, Esmerelda.
Oh, it's all right.
I'll see you in there.
So, where's the money?
Oh, I've got it here.
You jokers won about 100 quid.
And the rest.
The rest is mine.
Eh?
You guys never rang up in time,
eh?
So I put a bet on--
well, my own.
Now hang in a minute, Donald.
There's something really
intrinsically--
Donald, let me explain.
We entered into a business
arrangement with you
in all good faith.
We are the going concern, you
see?
We have overhead, chattels, that
sort of thing.
Now you're more in the nature of
a casual employee,
a good one, the best, in fact.
But not strictly speaking in the
partnership, you see.
Now in cases like this, we
usually pay a flat 10%,
which is what, 100 quid?
The rest is ours.
Cut it out.
That's mine, I won it.
Yes, with our money.
You could have lost it.
Now we took that risk, you see.
Yeah.
I'll tell you what, I'll split
it three ways, fair shares,
even stevens.
How's that?
Very well, you strike a hard
bargain.
Right.
Three, two.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHATTER]
You're looking sharp tonight,
Cyril [INAUDIBLE]..
Very sharp.
If I felt any better, I'd be
dangerous.
[LAUGHTER]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
BETTOR: Come on, don't be shy.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Sixpence on that.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Hi, I'm Dinah.
Wesley Pennington.
Five bob on the diamond.
10 pounds on this spades.
Oh, sock it to him, Wesley!
Three diamonds!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
I'm in luck, kids.
Oh, poor Wesley.
Just settling in, my dear.
Just settling in. [INTERPOSING
VOICES]
[INAUDIBLE] another hearts.
[GROANING]
Take it away, take it away.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[SINGING] Bye, bye, birdie.
Come on, Norm.
You going to put up with the
occasional [INAUDIBLE]..
[SINGING] Bye bye, blackbird.
[INAUDIBLE]
Did you get any funny phone
calls today?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[APPLAUSE]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
SAXOPHONIST: [SINGING] I woke up
this morning,
got up on the wrong side of the
bed.
I woke up this morning, stepped
out
of the wrong side of the bed.
Woke up this morning,
[INAUDIBLE] got into my head.
Work for the money, work for the
money,
work for the money, [INAUDIBLE].
So look for my honey, look for
my honey, can't find my honey.
I'm feeling so good.
[INAUDIBLE]
Hey, hey, [INAUDIBLE].
[CHEERING]
Hey!
Get out of here, Don.
Get out.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Ow, oh!
[GROANING]
[BOOING]
I don't like idiots.
[POUNDING AT DOOR]
[INAUDIBLE] I'm coming, son.
Where on earth you been?
Where is he? [YELLING] Jackson!
[INAUDIBLE]
What the hell do you think
you're doing, Cray?
NORMAN CRAY: [YELLING] I've come
to get you, Jackson!
Jackson, where's my money?
FATHER: Here you leave that boy
alone.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
He's a good boy.
NORMAN CRAY: Come out, Jackson,
you're a skunk!
Come here!
[GROANING]
I'll get that creep.
[GROANING]
Oh no, not again.
I'm sorry about the leg.
[INAUDIBLE]
Thanks.
Ow, oh!
[GROANING]
[GROANING]
Ssh, it's OK, it's OK.
[INAUDIBLE] Oh, I think have
must
have bruised something inside.
[WHISPERING] Look it's OK.
I'll just have a look.
[WHIMPERING]
Ssh!
How's that?
[INAUDIBLE]
Down a bit.
It's better.
What's wrong?
You only want me because I'm so
rich.
Geez, you make me mad, you can
be so dumb sometimes.
[INAUDIBLE] That wasn't dumb,
was it?
ESMERELDA: Don, what are you
doing?
I've won, I've won!
Look, look, I've won!
DEALER: That's the way, don't be
shy now.
Put them down.
DINAH: On crown again.
Anchors away, the old hook or
by crook.
It's me again!
DICK: What a run!
DINAH: [INAUDIBLE].
DICK: 10 on the shovel.
Come on, baby.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
DICK: Oh boy, what a run!
Make it a club.
Hearts, hearts, it's got to be
hearts.
This time.
[GROANING]
DEALER: Thank you, bank wins.
I lost all my money.
DEALER: Two quid on the spades.
Anyone going to cover diamonds?
What about hearts? Come on--
You've got know when to stop.
Oh no, when you're on a run,
you ride it.
You're in no position to hand
out advice.
Look, honey, if you're going to
gamble,
you've got be prepared to accept
your losses.
Excuse me while I water the
flowers.
DEALER: Diamonds.
Hey, Buster?
You are coming back, aren't you?
[LAUGHING] Oh, of course.
I wouldn't want to see you go
away empty-handed.
WES PENNINGTON: You should be
warned, sir, Wesley Pennington
never goes home empty-handed.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Five bob on the diamond.
A shilling, a shilling.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[GROANING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
SAXOPHONIST: [SINGING] And the
night
wind blows cold across the
plain.
I remember how you loved me
until he made his claim.
Now I'm out in the cold again.
Feel like a smooth cruise,
sweetheart?
Go [INAUDIBLE] Shorty.
SAXOPHONIST: [SINGING] I'm out
in the cold, and I'm blue.
[WOLF WHISTLES]
When I sleep my dreams unfold,
you
come to me in visions of gold.
But when I wake I'm out in the
cold without you.
Don't let me down now.
Send me something.
Cooee!
That was quick.
Wesley?
Yes, my dear?
Hello!
Boy, I love the dress.
Gorgeous!
Gorgeous!
I lost all my money.
Oh, the slings and arrows of
outrageous fortune.
I need to piss.
May I be of some consolation?
[GROANING]
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I hurt you?
WES PENNINGTON: No.
No, no, it was an accident.
It's a lovely evening.
Oh, she doth teach the torches
to burn bright.
Me think she hangs upon the
cheek of night
like a rich jewel in an Ethiop's
ear.
I once played Romeo, it was a--
MAN: I'll have another drink.
[INAUDIBLE]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[LAUGHTER]
SAXOPHONIST: [SINGING] Now I
wander a stranger
in a land you've never seen.
The measure done, I'll take my
place of stand.
SAXOPHONIST: [SINGING] Oh, I'm
out in the cold,
and I'm lonesome.
[MOANING]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Dinah?
Dinah?
DINAH: Dick?
DICK: Oh, that you, Dinah?
Come on.
Oh, go away.
Let's go, eh?
DINAH: Go away!
What are you doing?
What you think?
DICK: Oh.
Come on, let's go, eh?
I'm a few quid up and I want to
stay that way.
[YELLING] No, go away, go away,
go away!
What's wrong with you?
Early mushrooms.
What?
We were looking for early
mushrooms, Dick.
[GROANING]
How could you? [SCREAMING] How
could you?
[WAILING] Oh, I'm sorry, Dick.
It was the drink, it was the
filthy drink.
[LAUGHTER]
DINAH: [WAILING] I'm gonna be
sick.
DICK: You tart! DINAH:
[INAUDIBLE]
I loved you.
Dick, don't talk to me like
that.
[INAUDIBLE]
DICK: How could you do that?
[CRYING]
DINAH: Wait for me.
I'm hurt, said Sir Andrew
Barton, wounded but not slain.
I'll lay me down and bleed a
while.
Then rise and fight again.
Hey, excuse me, mate.
You haven't seen a joker called
Wes, have you?
Tall fella, big nose.
[GROANING]
DINAH: [WAILING] Come back!
Wait for me!
[BIRDS TWEETING]
Cyril!
Cyril!
Wes?
Wes?
What's going on, Wes?
What have they done to you?
What'd I do, Wes?
You, my lad are one of nature's
gentlemen.
I'm sorry, Wes.
What's going on?
Wesley Pennington rides again.
[CHEERING]
Gotcha!
Take it easy, Norm.
No!
Jackson had to have a mate.
He ain't that clever, and it's
got to be you.
Let him go, Norm.
[YELLING] Like hell!
This [INAUDIBLE] made a joke out
of me today.
What monstrosity am I accused--
Sir, if this is your idea of
local hospitality--
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
I came to gamble, sir, to
gamble.
I said let him go, Norm.
He came here to play on my
board.
I don't care whose money it is,
let him go.
[MURMURING]
[WHISTLES]
I presume the house has no
objections to largish bets.
Not from you, Buster.
Then what are waiting for?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
MAN: There he goes.
There he goes.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
MAN: Here we go.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
50 Jimmy O'Goblins on the
crown.
Any more?
Just you and the bank.
Shake them up, Cary.
DINAH: Pull over. DICK: Eh?
DINAH: Pull over!
DICK: Hey, stop that, Dinah!
Let it go.
DINAH: [YELLING] No!
Stop the car!
I'm getting out.
I want to walk. DICK: You can't.
DINAH: I can.
DICK: No you can't.
Dinah, would you just--
would you just please get back
in the car?
Just get back in the car. - No.
DICK: Please, just get back in
the car.
DINAH: No, Dick.
I said I'm sorry.
Want me to tell the whole town
I'm sorry?
[SCREAMING] I'm sorry!
[INAUDIBLE] never have taken me
to that damn wool
shed in the first place.
I was sloshed, I was shaken, and
he
was splashing that money around
and looking at me that way.
DICK: Dinah, would you be quiet?
Do you want the whole town to
hear?
You're waking people up.
DINAH: [INAUDIBLE] It wasn't my
fault. [INAUDIBLE] [CRYING]
I'm sorry.
[CRYING]
[DOG BARKING]
What is it, Miss Fairweather?
There is fornication and
inebriation
at Mr. Bishop's wool shed.
Why don't you go back to bed?
No citizen should be in bed
while fornication is ripe.
Investigate, Sergeant.
Go back to bed, Miss
Fairweather!
Oh!
WIFE: Who was that, darling?
SERGEANT: Oh, Lady Fairweather.
Wants me to go out to Sel
Bishop's, for God's sake.
WIFE: Oh, come back to bed.
Oh-- jumping Jehosaphat!
[DOG BARKING]
What the blazes do you think
your doing?
Come along, Sergeant.
Do your duty.
Arrest me.
Miss Fairweather, this time--
[YELLING] you come back here!
MISS FAIRWEATHER: Catch me if
you can.
[YELLING] Fairweather!
[MURMURING]
Another 50 on the diamonds.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[GROANING]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
No diamond, Buster.
Hearts.
[MURMURING]
[WHISTLING]
[SIREN]
[GROANING]
Oh, would you believe it?
Would you believe it?
Ha, ha.
All right, that's it, you got
one more throw.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
You can't just stop when you
feel like it.
It's immoral.
Yeah!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
I lost a packet here tonight.
Do you want it or don't you?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Oh, your generosity overwhelms
me, sir.
Anchors, anchors, it's gotta be
anchors.
It's got to be anchors.
You going to put your money on
it, or just talk about it?
[WHISPERING] Go, Wes!
Do it!
[WHISTLING]
WES PENNINGTON: 200 quid on the
anchor.
[MURMURING]
Roll 'em.
[LAUGHTER]
This time.
[SIREN]
[CHEERING]
[YELLING] You've gotta win.
You've gotta!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[INAUDIBLE] pay him!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Pay up! Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up! Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up! Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
[CHEERING]
[YELLING] The cops!
The cops!
[SIRENS]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[YELLING] Come on, come on!
CYRIL KIDMAN: [YELLING] It's the
cops, Wes!
[SCREAMING]
[WHIMPERING] Cyril! Cyril!
Cyril!
He's all yours, Norm.
[SCREAMING] Oh no!
Cyril!
[SCREAMING]
[INAUDIBLE]
[SIRENS]
[CAR HORN]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Cyril! Cyril!
Cyril!
[CAR HORN]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Not this time.
Here!
Here, you [INAUDIBLE]
[? [INTERPOSING VOICES] ?]
NORMAN CRAY: [YELLING] Come back
here!
[CAR HORN]
[SHOUTING]
Through the trees.
[INAUDIBLE]
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING] Oh, Wes
[INAUDIBLE]..
[NON-ENGLISH]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Whoo-hoo!
Where is he, Sel?
What are you talking about?
Morrie.
It's his.
What have you done with him?
I haven't done anything with
him.
Yes, you have.
He's been on to you.
Claire, Claire, Claire, you're
starting to piss me off,
all right?
You are starting to piss me off.
Had a look at yourself recently?
You see what you look like?
I don't know what I saw you.
You're a dog, you know what?
You're a dog.
That won't work, Sel.
You're a dog.
- I want to know. - Hey--
What have you done with Morrie?
See the mess around this place,
eh?
You seen the mess you make
around this place?
All this junk?
Just tell me.
Just junk.
Just tell me what you done.
The big mistake I made was
letting you come in here
in the first place, wasn't it?
I live here.
Now tell me, what have you done?
No, you don't live here
anymore.
You don't know nothing, and you
don't live here anymore.
CLAIRE: I'm sick and tired of
being--
Get out! Just get out!
Get some clothes on and take
some of this junk with you.
[YELLING] You won't get rid of
me that easily, Sel!
My family's Irish, remember?
Oh, you dumb Polack, your
name's [INAUDIBLE]..
[CHURCH BELL RINGING]
[DOG BARKING]
DON JACKSON: It's only me, Dad.
I meant to tell you last night I
wouldn't
be home, so I hope you didn't
stay up all night to wait for--
what happened, Dad?
Had a visit from a friend of
yours last night,
your bookie, Norm Cray.
Oh, jeepers, Dad! I'm sorry.
Did you ring the Sergeant?
Do you really want the police
round
here asking questions, son?
Well, do you?
No.
I'm sorry, Dad.
I'm really sorry.
Are you, son?
You're really sorry, are you?
Oh, Dad.
[POUNDING AT DOOR]
FATHER: Oh, not again!
[YELLING] Cray, you bastard!
[SCREAMING] Oh please, don't
hit me, don't hit me,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
[INAUDIBLE] it's Wes, I need
your help.
He's drowned.
[MARIACHI MUSIC]
I'm dead.
Buenos dias, senor.
You wondering who am I?
WES PENNINGTON: No.
Behold, you see before you
Johnny Porano.
Otherwise known as the Tainuia
Kid, ta-da!
No, no, no.
I watch you last night from the
jungle.
I see you get punched out the
back yeah?
Oh.
Then I see you get chased out
the front.
Then I watch you go into the Rio
Grande.
Rio Grande?
Si, the river.
River.
Cyril! - Your partner?
Cyril.
He go in with you.
I am thinking maybe the taniwha
gobbled him up.
The what?
Taniwha, the monster of the
river.
Big black fishy thing.
WES PENNINGTON: No.
With blazing eyes.
No.
I watch him coming down the
river.
WES PENNINGTON: Cyril,
[INAUDIBLE]..
I am looking at this thing.
It's looking at me.
I am saying to myself--
I've got to find Cyril.
- --Kid-- what? - [YELLING]
Cyril!
Senor, wait for me.
WES PENNINGTON: [YELLING] Cyril!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[SCREAMING]
[YELLING] Cyril!
[SHOUTING]
[WAILING]
[SCREAMING]
[INAUDIBLE]
Senor Cyril!
When we find Cyril, I'll get
the money back,
there's no doubt about it.
No one takes Wes Pennington for
1,000 smackers, Kid.
No one.
So the war is on, Senor, eh?
Yeah, the war is on, all right.
You're darn tooting right the
war is on.
[SHOUTING] Cyril!
If that little sod's still
alive,
I swear I'll never touch another
drop again.
I swear it as long as I live.
Senor Wes. Senor Wes!
[YELLING] Wes!
[YELLING] Cyril!
Cyril!
Arriba!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
WES PENNINGTON: [YELLING] Cyril!
Cyril!
[YELLING]
CYRIL KIDMAN: [YELLING] Wes! WES
PENNINGTON: [YELLING] Cyril!
CYRIL KIDMAN: [YELLING] Wes!
WES PENNINGTON: [YELLING] Cyril!
Cyril, where the hell have you
been?
I could have drowned out there!
Well, I'm sorry, Wes.
Sorry? Straighten your tie.
KID: [YELLING] Arriba!
A few hours on your own, you
look like the dog's breakfast.
Where's the toothpaste?
The partners are back in the
saddle again!
You're darn tootin' right, Kid.
They're back in the saddle.
[WAILING]
I think there's enough already,
he won't argue.
We'll just nip in there, grab
the money, into the car
and off.
Si.
The army of the compadres, eh?
No.
No, Kid, no army.
No violence, no revolution.
Just keep well out of it.
I will be scout then.
Yes, but be a quiet scout.
I don't like this.
[YELLING] Hey, Senor Cray!
I give you a ride on the
merry-go-round, eh?
[YELLING] Don't touch the rope,
Kid!
[COUGHING]
Sorry.
I wish I'd never met you
jokers.
Nonsense, Donaldo.
You're having the time of your
life.
It's three against one.
Three and a half if you include
the Kid.
If everybody stays quiet,
there'll be no problems.
KID: [SCREAMING] Arriba!
Ha, ha!
No.
[YELLING] No!
Oh my god.
KID: [YELLING] Arriba, arriba,
arriba, ha, ha!
[SHOUTING]
And don't expect me to be here
when you get back.
Senor Cray, you like the
merry-go-round, eh?
[YELLING] Kid, no!
[LAUGHTER]
Quiet!
We want to sneak up on him.
[YELLING] Arriba!
Andale, andale!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Cray, what'd you do to my old
man?
Did you take a wrong turning?
[LAUGHTER]
I'm your friend.
It's Cray.
Arriba, arriba!
[LAUGHTER]
KID: [INAUDIBLE]
[SCREAMING] You moron!
Moron?
Who is mo--
I'll give you moron.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[INAUDIBLE]
[WAILING]
I'll make you a cray fish.
[WAILING]
Take this.
[SCREAMING]
You big fat fraud, Cray. Serves
you right.
CYRIL KIDMAN: Come over here and
I'll punch your lights out.
Look what they've done to my
car!
Sel Bishop, have you got my
money?
[YELLING] You lunatics!
[GUNSHOTS]
[YELLING] Hey!
Senor Bishop, we've got the army
of the compadres [INAUDIBLE]..
We gonna get the money off you
and cook your duck, ha, ha, ha!
[YELLING] You filthy scum!
[GUNSHOTS]
Lousy shot, [INAUDIBLE].
[GUNSHOT]
I'll kill that Maori lunatic
one of these days.
[YELLING] Give me the gun, I'll
kill the lot of them!
Shut up.
[YELLING] What about my car?
[YELLING] Shut up about your
car.
[YELLING] I'll be back, Bishop!
That's my money!
I'll be back.
It cost me 150 pounds,
[INAUDIBLE]..
- Forget your car. - Sel--
It's a hunk of junk anyway.
I'll cook your [INAUDIBLE] for
breakfast.
[YELLING] Cray, you bully!
Here!
You bring that car back!
[CAR HORN]
CLAIRE: Bye, Sel!
Lost your car, eh?
Shut up!
Oh!
[GUNSHOT]
Oh, f--
[HUMMING]
I mean, what is this between
you and Norm Cray, anyway?
First off, he broke my dad's
leg.
The whole foot came off.
My god.
It's true, Wes.
He was going to clobber me with
it this morning.
With his father's foot?
Yeah.
We brought it, it's in the car
with us.
You've got a foot in the car?
It's a wooden one.
Your father's got wooden feet?
You help me with this, I'll buy
him a whole wardrobe
of wooden feet.
Besides, Donald, what an
opportunity to avenge yourself
on your dad's assailant.
Cause that's where he is, right
there.
Right there across the river.
I don't know.
Sel Bishop's pretty mean.
- He's right, Wes. - Huh?
Look, why don't we just sneak
across when it's dark
and get the car?
Cut our losses and go.
Because that's my money out
there, that's why.
I just don't want to get
killed, Wes.
Killed?
Killed?
Who's going to get killed?
Nobody's going to get killed.
We just wait till it's dark.
Then what?
I don't know.
I'll think of something.
When the time comes, I always
do.
The point is, you and I are
going to get my money back.
You are going to avenge yourself
on your dad, hey?
[GROANING]
Isn't that right, Kid?
[IMITATING GUNSHOTS]
He's no fool.
[SCREAMING]
- Will you go, Wes. - No, you go
first.
You go.
After you.
I've got the petrol.
Yes, I'll carry the petrol.
Oh.
Me first, I think.
No, no, Kid.
You stay here on this side.
Rear scout, OK?
The taniwha, senor.
Not now, Kid.
But the taniwha's [INAUDIBLE]
monster.
- Monster? - It's nothing,
ignore him.
No, no, want to know. What
monster?
See around that bend is a
bottomless pit [INAUDIBLE]..
And in there is the taniwha,
terrible, terrible sight.
I think I'm getting the
jitters.
When I cross the bridge, I
always give the taniwha money.
Yes.
Always the best thing, I say.
Good idea.
I do it for you, hm?
Wes, I don't like monsters.
What is wrong with you two?
In case you hadn't noticed, the
guy
is living in a different world.
[YELLING] Hey!
Hey, taniwha, my [INAUDIBLE]
friend.
I salute you!
[INAUDIBLE] taniwha, it's me,
the Kid, OK?
Smile on our [INAUDIBLE]
tonight,
because we are fighting for the
right,
the justice, and the truth.
Adios, amigos!
Arriba, arriba!
[IMITATING GUNSHOTS]
Yeah.
Cyril?
I'm sorry, Wes.
[INAUDIBLE]
Thank you.
[INAUDIBLE] [SCREAMING] Arriba,
arriba!
[INAUDIBLE]
Come on, Wes.
CLAIRE: Morrie!
Morrie, is that you?
Morrie?
Darkie.
I'm sorry about old Pop.
Yeah, poor old duck.
CLAIRE: I didn't even know he
was staying here.
Well, nobody did.
Except Sel, of course.
He knew.
Sel?
DARKIE BENSON: Yeah, sure.
I was sure he was going to throw
him out.
Just shrugged.
Lousy world, eh?
The only decent thing Sel Bishop
ever did, and killed old Pop.
Right!
[DOG HOWLS]
[JINGLING]
Will you stop that?
Ssh, quiet!
Put that thing away!
[INAUDIBLE]?
I've got a new job for you,
rear scout.
It's dark, senor.
I be front scout.
But-- no, no, stay there.
Stay-- all right, stay there.
Yes, you could ambush them as
they come out
with a six gun one at a time.
Now are you satisfied?
Si, senor.
Thank god for that.
Now Cyril, have you got the
lighter?
Put it out!
Put it out!
Quite simple, Norm.
Jackson and his teammates for
you, I want the merry lunatic.
I've got to get in and out
quick.
You'd better stop counting.
OK.
Don't start the fire until you
get to 100.
One, two.
What about Cray?
Ah, revenge is sweet, eh,
Donaldo?
Now when Cray comes out, you
give a yell
and call him over here.
Then you ambush him.
It's simple, it's so simple.
Cyril, keep the car warmed up.
Now does everybody know what
they're doing?
Yeah.
- Fire. - Fire.
- Rear scout? - Si, scout.
Money.
Start counting.
- 1, - Oh, no.
- 2. - 2.
3, 4, 5, 6.
5.
7.
6.
No.
No.
11, 12, 13, 14, 15.
16.
18, 19, 20, 21.
22, 23.
24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30.
WES PENNINGTON: 31, 32, 33, 34,
35, 36.
37, 38, 39, 40.
41, 42, 43.
44, 45, 46, 47, 48.
49, 50, 51.
[WHIMPERING]
60, 61, 62.
68, 69.
72, 73, 74, 75.
KID: Amigos!
[SCREAMING]
What are you doing in there?
Will you get out?
I found the carambas.
Just shut up and get out of
here!
Wait, wait, wait, what's the
count?
80.
81, 82, 83.
Caramba!
WES PENNINGTON: 85, 86.
87, 88, 89, 90, 91.
Excuse me, senor?
Oh, crikey, will you stop doing
that?
- You have the light? - Oh sure.
Gracias.
That's all right, Kid.
Where were we?
100.
What do you mean, you don't
know, Donald?
I lost the count.
What's-- oh, Wes!
[SCREAMING]
[YELLING] Arriba, arriba!
Caramba!
[SCREAMING]
[LAUGHTER]
No, no, Kid, no!
Hey, Senor [INAUDIBLE] look
what I got for you.
[LAUGHTER]
[YELLING] Ha, ha ha, andale!
Look, just go away, Kid. You'll
kill us!
[INAUDIBLE] andale.
Yee-ha!
Arriba!
Arriba!
Damn!
It's gotta be here somewhere,
it's just got to be.
[SNEEZING]
[GUN COCKING]
NORMAN CRAY: There he is!
Sel, the Kid!
[HUMMING]
[GUNSHOT]
[YELLING] And you're not a
Mexican, you're a Maori!
KID: And you're a [INAUDIBLE].
[GUNSHOT]
[INAUDIBLE] Gotcha.
[GUNSHOT]
SEL BISHOP: [YELLING] Claire?
KID: You're still a lousy shot,
senor.
You got [INAUDIBLE] in your
[INAUDIBLE]..
[LAUGHTER]
Oh, come on!
CLAIRE: Sel?
SEL BISHOP: [YELLING] Claire!
All right, you brought the car
back. [YELLING]
Now get the hell out of here.
[INAUDIBLE] all right?
Take your lousy, stinking
[INAUDIBLE]..
Take it out of my place and
don't bring it back.
[LAUGHING] You won't get rid of
me that easily, Sel.
I'm staying.
No, you're going.
You're going right now.
No, I'm not.
Not until you tell me what
you've done with Morrie.
Murderer.
SEL BISHOP: You're crazy.
No, Sel.
Darkie Benson told me.
You knew poor old Pop Simon was
in that building,
and you did nothing about it.
You let Morrie go and burn the
place down anyway
for your measly insurance money.
You're a murderer, Sel.
So what are you going to do
about it?
You tell me where Morrie is.
If he's OK, I'll do nothing.
But if anything's happened to
him, I'll go to the police.
I always said you were stupid,
Claire.
But I'll do it, Sel.
I told you I was Irish.
SEL BISHOP: No, you're just
crazy.
You want Morrie?
I'll give you Morrie.
You can join him.
CLAIRE: You bastard.
You've killed him too.
SEL BISHOP: You lousy
[INAUDIBLE]..
I'll kill you!
Ow, my [INAUDIBLE].
[GROANING]
[SCREAMING]
[GROANING]
Hi, Sel, hi.
I came back for my hat, white
Panama.
If it's not convenient, I'll
call back at another time.
You idiots.
Lover's quarrel, Sel.
I understand.
I understand, I've had
experience of these matters.
I didn't hear a thing, Sel, not
a thing.
Scout's honor.
Dip, dip, dip All right, I came
back for the money.
Now that's a perfectly normal
human ambition, Sel.
Surely you can understand that.
CLAIRE: Sel.
All right, move.
CLAIRE: No!
[YELLING] Move it!
Down the steps, go.
Please, Sel.
Wait now, wait.
This is no way to treat a paying
customer.
It's bad for business.
Word gets out.
All right, all right, I
understand.
It's late, tempers are frayed.
Nobody's at their best at 3:00
in the morning.
Shut up!
You're dumb, Pennington.
You're stupid.
And my god, I hate stupid
people.
I have a degree in economics!
[YELLING] Shut up!
All right, all right.
[INAUDIBLE] worked long hours.
You need a holiday. I need a
holiday.
Norfolk Island!
Where are we going, Sel?
All right, where are we going?
In here? You want me to go in
here?
All right. All right, Sel.
Look, I'm unlocking. -
[INAUDIBLE]
I'm opening the door.
[SCREAMING]
[INAUDIBLE]
[SQUEALING] Oh, Morrie!
Come and join the party.
[WAILING]
Sel, I didn't hear a thing, I--
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[GROANING]
[SQUEALING]
[LAUGHTER]
Party's getting rough.
CLAIRE: [YELLING] Help!
Help me!
Keep shouting, [YELLING] keep
shouting!
No one's listening.
CLAIRE: [SCREAMING] Help!
Sel!
Let us out!
I won't tell anyone.
I promise!
[YELLING] Norm?
CLAIRE: Sel!
You out there?
CLAIRE: Please, Sel!
Norm?
CLAIRE: Please!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Gonna skin you, Jackson.
Here!
Ah, ha!
CLAIRE: We'll be back together
again, Sel.
It'll be like the old times.
But I'll be good, Sel.
Sel!
[SCREAMING] That's right!
Show us how strong you are.
[INAUDIBLE]
If you don't let us out, you're
in big trouble, Sel.
Trouble.
You're in for a long stretch in
the can.
Sel!
Sel?
They'll get you, Sel.
You won't get away with it.
All right, Jackson.
Yeah, you're history, Jackson.
I've got you.
Here!
[SCREAMING]
[INAUDIBLE]
No, Jackson, Put me down,
Jackson.
[INAUDIBLE]
[SCREAMING]
You're a Crayfish now!
Whoo!
CLAIRE: Please, Sel.
Sel?
Caramba!
A thunder stick, [IMITATING
GUNSHOTS]
WES PENNINGTON: Kid!
We're in here.
All the good guys are in here.
Senor Wes?
Kid!
Kid!
[POUNDING AT DOOR]
Kid, is that you?
CLAIRE: Kid?
KID: Senor?
Is that you?
It's the Kid, it's the Kid.
[SINGING] Maori Battalion march
to victory.
Maori Battalion--
Oh, shut up!
I have the gun.
Senor Bishop has vamoosed.
I'm going to save you
[INAUDIBLE] just like I
saved you at the Rio Grande. -
Psst!
CLAIRE: Kid, unlock the door.
[YELLING] Kid, look out behind
you.
[GUNSHOT]
Did you hear that?
Good one, heh, heh!
KID: Don't be angry, senor.
All right, Dopey, drop the gun.
Senor [INAUDIBLE]
WES PENNINGTON: [YELLING] Kid!
Kid, are you all right?
Come on.
Drop the gun.
WES PENNINGTON: Kid!
Open the door!
Come on.
Drop it.
Drop the gun, Dopey.
I'm going now.
[GUNSHOT]
[SCREAMING]
[LAUGHTER]
Caramba!
OK, [INAUDIBLE]
[GUNSHOT]
[LAUGHING] So that's how you do,
eh?
[GUNSHOT]
[SCREAMING]
[LAUGHTER]
[INAUDIBLE]
[GUNSHOT]
Tainuia Kid.
[GUNSHOT]
[SCREAMING]
Oh, sorry Senor Cyril.
You OK?
Que, what?
No, no, not at me, Kid.
Gun?
Oh!
Bishop! KID: Huh?
Bishop!
[LAUGHTER]
For using your gun, I--
I got to go and find my horse.
I give you everything back.
We-- we are friends now, huh?
Look, look, you want my gun?
I want-- I won't let your tires
down any--
what about your cigar, senor,
eh?
Look it's still good.
No, not the cigar. [YELLING]
Not the cigar!
You have here.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Run!
Save Cyril!
Money! [YELLING] Fire!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Ha, ha!
All right, you lunatic.
It's time.
[SCREAMING]
Senor Bishop?
[SCREECHING TIRES]
Senor Bishop?
[GROANING]
[INAUDIBLE] [YELLING] I'll kill
you!
I'm going to kill you!
[BRAKES SCREECHING]
[SINGING] Da dum, da!
[TARZAN YELL] [HUMMING]
[SCREAMING] Arriba!
Arriba, arriba, arriba, ha, ha!
Arriba!
Oh, f--
[SCREAMING] Arriba!
DON JACKSON: Holy smoke!
Sel?
The booze.
The money.
KID: Oh no, senor.
The money!
[INAUDIBLE] You're a genius.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh no, senor.
The Kid is now The Bandito!
[SCREAMING] Arriba, arriba!
Oh!
Follow that Kid!
Kid, come back!
That's my money!
[YELLING] Kid!
Kid!
[LAUGHTER]
[INAUDIBLE]
We're cracking the whip,
[INAUDIBLE]..
Keep your eyes on the road.
You do the driving, I'll do the
dialogue.
The bridge!
KID: Arriba, arriba, arriba!
WES PENNINGTON: Stop!
Hey, [INAUDIBLE] I am the king
of the Rio Grande now.
Hoo, hoo, hoo, I am the king of
the--
[INAUDIBLE]
That's not the devil, is it?
[SCREAMING] Taniwha!
No Kid!
Money for you!
WES PENNINGTON: [YELLING] It's
not the taniwha!
KID: Look what I got for you, my
friend.
I am the king [INAUDIBLE].
[YELLING] It's my money!
You want some more?
Senor taniwha, for you, all the
money.
Don't take me.
I give you [INAUDIBLE].
[BUGLE PLAYING]
They went with songs to the
battle.
They were young, straight of
limb, true of eye,
steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end
against odds uncounted.
They fell with their faces to
the foe.
They shall not grow old as we
that are left are old.
Age shall not weary them--
[BELCHING]
--nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and
in the morning,
we shall remember them.
Well, that's the weekend cut.
Time to be moving on, old sport.
What do you got in mind?
I thought the Napier course
looked interesting.
Yeah, I reckon I could handle a
few days by the sea.
We only need to find a phone
and a put.
Should be a doddle.
Go on, Wes!
Onward, Cyril [INAUDIBLE].
Onward!
[CHEERING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[MUSIC - BEAVER, "THIS TIME"]
[SINGING] I look at the stars
and they're smiling down.
And they're telling me, don't
you see?
Life's too short to shag around.
Gotta take a chance, if you
wanna be free.
Looking for the big one, you
better move fast.
Gotta be in to win.
So roll the dice and deal the
cards,
and give that wheel a spin.
Cause this time the wheel of
fortune's going to spin for me.
This time Lady Luck's gonna
dance with me.
I've been told, and it's true,
I've found,
we'll all end up six foot under
ground.
If I was born to be hanged, I'll
never be drowned.
If you're in for a penny, I'm in
for a pound.
Luck don't wait around forever
while you make up your mind.
Sometime, next time, could be
never.
You might get left behind.
So listen to this good advice.
Gotta be in to win.
Deal the cards and roll the
dice,
and give that wheel a spin.
Cause this time the wheel of
fortune's going to spin for me.
This time Lady Luck's gonna
dance with me.
This time the wheel of fortune's
going to spin for me.
This time Lady Luck's gonna
dance with me.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
BETTOR 1: Pound for a win on
number two.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
BETTOR 2: Ten bob on number
three, mate.
BETTOR 3: Pound on number one.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Go!
RACE ANNOUNCER: [INAUDIBLE]
going out early.
[INAUDIBLE] a little bit
[INAUDIBLE]..
[CHEERING]
[INAUDIBLE]
[CHEERING]
[INAUDIBLE]
[GROANING]
Excuse me, sir. Excuse me.
Ah, gentlemen.
Now the lot on--
Speak to me, speak to me, oh
ancient gods of chance.
Give me a sign.
A sign!
A sign!
Give me a sign.
If you're going to bet, bet.
If not, piss off.
It is like water divining or--
[CAR HORN]
[SHOUTING]
--the laying on of hands. [PHONE
RINGING]
It's a similar sort of thing to
that.
It's coming to me. Yes, I'm
almost there.
It's there.
BARTENDER: Is there a Gaines in
the bar?
Mr. Gaines?
Come-- it's coming.
Race two, number seven on the
nose, gentlemen.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
RADIO ANNOUNCER: This is the
national program.
The time is 1:00.
Time for the afternoon summary
of racing results.
[SCREECHING BRAKES]
One result [INAUDIBLE] in
Plymouth, the Maiden's Mile.
First, number seven, Wickham's
Folly,
five pounds, eight shillings,
and--
I knew it!
I knew it!
Oh, gentlemen, I appear to have
cleaned up.
Not from me, you haven't.
That bet was late, 10 minutes
late.
10 minute-- no, no, sir, a few
seconds, perhaps a few seconds.
Where's your mate?
Mate?
The mate you're running this
little scam with.
Scam? No, there's no scam.
This is all perfectly
aboveboard.
Gentlemen, I have witnesses.
Everybody saw me.
I mean, I put the--
look, I'm not going to argue the
issue, I have an urgent--
Excuse me, I have an urgent
meeting.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[SHOUTING]
Yah!
Ooh!
Hey!
[SCREECHING BRAKES]
[SCREECHING TIRES]
[SHOUTING]
[SCREECHING TIRES]
[GROANING]
[SCREECHING TIRES]
CYRIL KIDMAN: Crikey, Wes, that
was good.
WES PENNINGTON: Where were you?
Why didn't you ring?
You left me standing around in
there like some prize dog.
Well, I had to run for
[INAUDIBLE]..
The phone was miles away.
The phone?
I could have been killed in
there.
CYRIL KIDMAN: We'll get it this
time, Wes, promise!
[YELLING] This time!
[SCREECHING TIRES]
[MUSIC - BEAVER, "THIS TIME"]
[SINGING] Look at the stars and
they're smiling down.
They're telling me, don't you
see?
Life's too short to shag around.
You gotta take a chance if you
wanna be free.
Looking for the big one, you
better move fast.
Gotta be in to win.
So roll the dice and deal the
cards,
and give that wheel a spin.
'Cause this time, the wheel of
fortune's going to spin for me.
This time Lady Luck's gonna
dance with me.
This time the wheel of fortune's
going to spin for me.
This time, Lady Luck's going to
dance with me.
This time, this time, this time.
WES PENNINGTON: What we need is
a course with a closer phone.
CYRIL KIDMAN: I reckon.
WES PENNINGTON: The phone.
CYRIL KIDMAN: It's the phone.
WES PENNINGTON: It's always the
phone.
[SCREECHING TIRES]
A small still voice, Cyril
[INAUDIBLE]
tells me that our dry spell may
be over.
Perfect.
CYRIL KIDMAN: Isn't it a bit
small, Wes?
Just a bit [INAUDIBLE],, don't
you think?
It's not the size of the track,
Cyril [INAUDIBLE]
It's the size of the divvies.
Hop into the Jockey Club
tomorrow.
It's [INAUDIBLE].
It's on the wireless.
Oh, great.
And there, Cyril [INAUDIBLE].
Not a hop, step and a jump away,
a telephone.
[INAUDIBLE].
Occasionally, Cyril, your
powers of observation
are truly astounding.
Thank you, Wes.
Good lad.
What a magnificent landscape.
Earth has not anything to show
more fair.
[INAUDIBLE] All we need now is a
nearby town.
CYRIL KIDMAN: With a pub.
WES PENNINGTON: Oh, and a
wealthy bookie.
I can feel it in my bones, Cyril
[INAUDIBLE]..
Great gambling's [INAUDIBLE].
SEL BISHOP: You've really made a
mess of your life,
haven't you, Morrie?
You any idea how far you're on
account with me?
Sel.
Claire, tell you brother how
much he owes me.
Go easy on him, Sel.
Oh, I'll fix you up, Sel.
Yeah.
Here, what with, Morrie?
Empties?
No, Sel, don't!
OK, let's call it quits.
You do a little job for me, and
we call it quits,
what do you say?
Shut up
[GUNSHOT]
[SQUEAKING NOISE]
Lunatic!
[GUNSHOT]
[FANFARE]
WES PENNINGTON: The Assyrian
came
down like a wolf on the fold.
Don't rub too hard, Don.
It might drop off.
Afternoon, Mrs. Melton.
[SCREECHING BRAKES]
Who is that vision of maidenly
delight?
It's Dinah Melton, the boss's
new wife.
The swine.
[BARKS LIKE A DOG]
Oh, crikey, Dinah.
Oh, darling!
[LAUGHTER]
[MOANING]
[SCREAMING]
[GIGGLING]
What you figure on,
[INAUDIBLE]??
The Oldsmobile.
Another rag.
899.
Oh, you've got to be joking.
It's only one year old.
Yeah, but I'm not.
Cyril--
Oh, Wes!
Oh, hello, young fellow.
Is this Tainuia?
This is Tainuia.
Tell me, if two well-heeled
young fellows such as Sel
and myself were in the mood for
an evening
of unbridled debauchery, where
would we start?
The boozer.
The boozer.
The boozer!
But of course, why didn't we
think of that, Sel?
CYRIL KIDMAN: No idea. - Wesley
Pennington.
Cyril Kidman.
Oh, Don Jackson.
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
[SCREECHING TIRES]
Corker.
Take it easy, Cyril.
Calm down, we don't wish to
antagonize the locals, do we?
[INAUDIBLE]
Soften them up a little.
Right.
After you, Wes.
Thank you, Cyril.
[CHATTER]
Gentlemen!
[BELCHING]
[CHATTER]
Ale, my good man.
City jokers, eh?
Yep, we sure is, [INAUDIBLE].
By way of introduction, a few
holiday snaps.
Holy Moses!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
MAN 1: This guy's got enough
[INAUDIBLE]..
MAN 2: --poses for these things?
Careful sir, you're talking of
the woman I love.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Hey, Norm?
Norm, cast your eyes on
[INAUDIBLE]..
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Hey, we got a photo of your
Mrs. over here, George.
Yeah, we got your Mrs. here,
look at that.
These yours?
Mm, rude aren't they?
Give it back
Filthy.
WES PENNINGTON: Just a minute,
sir, just a minute.
- You're talking to me? - Indeed
I am.
The photos are mine.
Is that right?
I'm sure the cops would be
interested to know that.
Oh, Wes.
You get the picture?
Clear as day, sir.
I mean, we're all slaves to the
social vices.
Others prefer the most solitary
kind.
I can see your need is greater
than ours.
I should warn you, it can make
you blind.
It can make you blind.
[LAUGHTER]
I thought he was going to belt
me.
Cops, he's going to get the
cops.
I don't think so, Cyril.
Who was that baboon?
The baboon's name is Norman
Cray.
He's the local bookie.
Oh, jeez, Wes!
Oh no.
That's poked it.
We seem to have struck a bit of
a problem here, Cyril.
Wes, we're puckarooed, mate.
Maybe we should try and find
another town.
No, no, no it's not
insurmountable.
I usually think of something.
There's got to be an answer
somewhere.
Somewhere, there's some--
there's some--
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
[SCREECHING TIRES]
[YELLING]
[SCREECHING TIRES]
Donaldo, what a coincidence, me
bumping into you like this.
We need someone who can show us
where to get a good feed.
Besides, I have a proposition to
put to you.
[SCREECHING TIRES]
Business is booming, Donald.
But we need a bright young lad
to take on a sort of trainee.
I've got a job.
Absolutely, it's yours.
Let's discuss it over a good
meal, shall we?
A pie and chips three times,
dear lady.
Hello, Donald.
Hi.
Having a night out on the town?
Yeah.
Don.
You want to listen to Wes, my
son,
because this is the real drum,
no two ways.
But my dad will go crock if I'm
late.
What a proud father he must be,
eh, Cyril?
Now relax, we're letting you in
on something rather big.
DON JACKSON: What is it?
WES PENNINGTON: [WHISPERING]
Ssh, not here.
Is that your car outside?
Sure is, sweetheart.
It's a doozy.
You ain't such a dog yourself.
Going to the dance tomorrow
night, Donald?
Oh, I don't know.
Dance?
Dance, what's this dance?
It's out a Sel Bishop's wool
shed.
Keep your eyes open for me,
sweetheart.
I will.
Did you observe that, Donald?
Our Cyril here is a veritable
Don Juan.
How does he do it, I ask myself,
and then what's his secret.
Decent mark on a good set of
wheels, mate, no two ways.
So you come in with us on this
little venture, Donald,
you'll have enough shekels to
pick up
all the class talent in town.
What would I have to do?
Ah, not here, sanctum
sanctorum.
Hey, Claire?
Talk to him.
Jeez, Claire.
I'm no bloody criminal.
It's not as if someone's home
or anything, Morrie.
It's just one of Sel's run-down
dumps.
There you go, Sel.
Sorry, Sel, it's not much.
Business has been a bit slow.
[COUGHING]
It's just old Pop Simon.
I let him have the room
upstairs.
You don't mind, do you, Sel?
They're poor misguided fools,
Donald,
felled in some foreign field.
My dad was wounded in the war.
He lost his leg.
Ah, a noble breed, the heroes
of Crete
and [INAUDIBLE] fighting for
freedom against the Hun.
Now concentrate, concentrate.
Everybody thinks I'm dumb, but
I'm not dumb.
I just like to think about
things, that's all.
You're not dumb, Donald.
You wouldn't be in this
operation if you were dumb.
She doesn't think I'm dumb.
She just thinks I'm funny.
Forget the dusky maiden,
Donald.
Concentrate on the matter in
hand.
Absalom.
It starts with A, number one.
Balthazar.
Starts with a B, number two.
A fiver each way.
Cockroach.
Starts with a C, number three.
Donald.
- Starts with a D, number-- - Oh
god.
I'm sorry, Wes, I'm sorry.
I really love her, Mr.
Pennington.
Well, of course you do, Donald.
Of course you do.
He's drunk as a skunk, Wes.
Will you concentrate?
Who's there?
What's going on there?
Oh, hey Sarge--
Sergeant.
Sergeant?
Cops!
Cops, the cops.
Yes, officer, we're just paying
our respects [INAUDIBLE]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Go on, go home.
Young hooligans.
WES PENNINGTON: Lovely evening,
Constable.
Sergeant!
DON JACKSON: Dad won't like
this.
You are joining an honorable
profession, Donald.
When I think of all the poor
souls who've been brought
to the brink of bankruptcy, even
suicide
by unscrupulous bookmakers, I
think of us as wearing
the mantle of avenging angels.
We're dispensing a kind of wild
divine justice.
[SCREECHING TIRES]
Donald.
Donald?
[YELLING] Donald?
Ssh!
WES PENNINGTON: [WHISPERING]
You'll
need some of the folding stuff
for the bets,
not for pouring down the throat.
Remember, a fiver each way on
the first race.
Whatever you can get on after
that.
Cockroach.
I beg your pardon?
Fiver each way, starts with
three, number C.
Good lad.
The first race starts--
At 11:00.
Excellent, excellent.
Now get a good night's sleep,
eh?
Tomorrow's a busy day.
CYRIL KIDMAN: Good night,
Donald!
[CAT MEOWING]
[SNORING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Strewth!
[SCREECHING TIRES]
Ooh, what a cracker,
[INAUDIBLE]..
Right, let's get a good seat
before the crowds arrive.
Whoo!
It's the chip shop!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[SIRENS]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[INAUDIBLE] There's nothing I
like better than a good fire.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
It reminds me of the Brits.
Battle of Britain, Wes?
No, a city nightclub in the
1920s.
Some fool girl caught her skirt
in the footlights.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Anybody got a light?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
How are we going to put out a
fire with [INAUDIBLE]??
Volunteer fire brigade, Wes.
Always the same, Cyril.
They're undermanned, you see.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
There's no pressure in the hose.
Must have a leak.
Nothing but [INAUDIBLE].
My god, there's somebody in
there.
Pop's in there!
Pop Simon's in there!
[SHOUTING]
MAN: [SCREAMING] Morrie, you
fool!
Come back!
Morrie!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Stand back!
Stand back, there, stand back.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Hero.
You're a hero.
You're a proper Kiwi.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
You all right?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Right, get him [INAUDIBLE].
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Careful, Willy.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
WES PENNINGTON: [SINGING] Oh,
the devil's poison into God's
cleansing river.
It's of no further use to man,
when it's
filtered through the liver.
[PISTOL COCKING]
KID: Senor?
You [INAUDIBLE] in the river,
and the taniwha
is going to leap up [INAUDIBLE]
and bite
your [INAUDIBLE] You comprend--
you com-- you understand me?
Cyril!
Cyril, did you see anyone?
- No. - Are you sure?
- Sorry, Wes. - That's all
right.
It's all right. Now where's the
toothpaste?
- It's in the front [INAUDIBLE].
- Thanks.
Ah!
I'm really worried about that
joker, Wes.
No, don't worry about Donald.
He's seen the gleam of gold.
Nothing's designed to make a man
more reliable, Cyril.
You know, Wes, this is true.
[THUMPING]
[GROANING]
Well, well, well, decide to
rejoin the living, have you?
Oh, I feel terrible, Dad.
By Jingo, if your mother could
see you now.
You've been drinking, haven't
you?
And what about that gate?
Oh jeez, I'm sorry, Dad.
Yeah, well you really take the
cake, doncha?
I was worried sick about you.
Don't come home.
I almost had the cops out
looking for you last night.
Drinking at your age!
What's the time?
Time?
It's nearly 11:00, and we were
going to be in that garden
by 9:00. [GROANING]
Where are you off to now?
I don't know.
[GAGGING]
I don't know what's got into
you, young fella.
Yeah, I had to feed your dinner
to the fowls last night.
Tripe and onions, it was.
[RETCHING]
[FANFARE]
Oh, I got to shake a leg.
What do you mean, shake a leg?
I'm late.
Where are you going? DON
JACKSON: Out.
Well, don't think you can use
this place as a boarding house.
I'm not.
I promised someone, all right?
You promised me too, son.
[FANFARE]
[CHATTER]
I'm in with something really
big.
What do you mean, big?
I've got to tip off.
Tip off?
What are you talking about?
Can't tell you, Dad.
Now, now, just a minute.
You don't-- just you come back
here.
Don't-- - I've gotta go!
RACE ANNOUNCER: It's time A race
in a pretty good [INAUDIBLE]
the lead from King George, then
Bingo.
[INAUDIBLE] and Windsor Knot.
And [INAUDIBLE] is the next
horse [INAUDIBLE]..
[CHEERING]
[INAUDIBLE] down there.
Now they're breaking to the far
side,
coming out of [INAUDIBLE] half
length early from King George.
Right behind him is Bingo.
[INAUDIBLE] They're going down
there swinging
[INAUDIBLE] a long way to go.
And it's Windsor Knot
[INAUDIBLE]
coming home, and [INAUDIBLE].
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hello?
694.
[PHONE RINGING]
Is there a Cockroach in the
bar?
Cockroach?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Got a winner, have you?
Fiver each way.
Have you been robbing the till?
No, no, no, it's savings, eh?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[INAUDIBLE] on number three at
Harperton, Windsor Knot,
number three each way.
Number three?
Eh, that's a big bet for a young
fellow.
Feeling lucky, eh?
No, it's number three each way.
OK, five, five each way wins
the lot.
Jackson, is it?
Yeah, Don.
OK.
Oh, buzz off.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
RACE ANNOUNCER: [INAUDIBLE]
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Jockey Club
meeting at Harperton.
The result of the second event,
first number three,
Windsor Knot.
Second, number 12, [INAUDIBLE].
Hey, you got it!
Yeah!
Hang on, hang on.
Number three, Windsor Knot, has
paid three pounds, five
shillings, and one pound 10.
Crikey!
You've made over 20 quid.
Guess I'm in the money.
Come on, let's go and collect
it.
I won.
Yeah, that's chicken feed, son.
There's something I want to
tell you, though.
That bet went on late. [PHONE
RINGING]
Oh, come on, [INAUDIBLE]. What
do you mean?
He's been in here all the time.
[YELLING] Phone for Mr. Gettys?
You think he's got a crystal
ball or something?
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
All of that on the next at
Harperton,
number seven each way.
A real gambler, eh?
Yeah.
Number seven, eh?
All right, Jackson.
[WHISTLING]
What do I do with these?
Eat them?
RADIO ANNOUNCER: From Harperton,
the third race.
First, number five, Al Fresco.
[YELLING] Crikey!
[CHEERING]
[INAUDIBLE] That's about--
that's about 100 quid!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Don't take [INAUDIBLE] Norm.
Let's see the color you go now.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[YELLING] That's all right,
I'll pay the little runt.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
There's no need to abuse him
just cause he struck it lucky.
Nobody's abusing anybody.
Hang on, what's your next bet?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
All right, I have see to what's
running.
Harperton, race three.
Race three?
That'd be just about past the
winning post by now.
Come on, make it snappy.
What's your pick?
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
[YELLING] Wes!
Look, mate, hurry up.
I don't take late bets.
Hey, leave him alone.
He just wants to cool his heels.
Just leave him alone.
Right now this is my money.
Come on, where's your bet?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Thinking!
Hey, just a minute, young man.
Young man, this is an emergency.
It's a phone call for the
governor general.
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
Look, I said what's your bet?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Um, uh.
All right, give me the phone.
Give me the phone, you young
fascist.
Give me that phone.
Give me the phone.
Ah!
Right.
There's something fishy going
on here.
No, no, no no.
Make-- make it number nine.
[GROANING]
Four bob each way.
What?
What the hell are you playing
at?
Well, make it a pound.
A pound, a pound each way.
Look, mate, what's going on?
Nothing.
- Look, lay off, Norm. - You're
a liar.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Right, all on number nine.
Ah, come on.
Just pay the kid his money.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Look, shut up, will ya?
He been making all our bets all
day.
All on number nine?
Oh no, no, no, make it
something else.
- What, then? - [INAUDIBLE] I
don't know!
Come on, what?
[CHEERING]
[SHEEP BAAING]
What a doozy, boy!
We've just made a packet, Wes.
What a team, what a team!
Oh, with the two of us out here,
it's such a breeze.
The trouble's always been the
phone.
Oh, Jesus, number nine, then.
[GROANING]
Number nine.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
What's the problem, Morrie?
We're in the [INAUDIBLE], Sel.
Oh yeah, why is that?
He's dead.
Who's dead?
Pop!
Who else?
Is that right?
You don't even care, do you?
Hey, hey, hey, Morrie, come
here.
Come on, come in.
We'll talk about it.
Here, what are we going to do,
Sel?
Don't worry about it.
It's not a problem, all right?
God, you don't care, do you?
As long as you get your bloody
insurance money,
that's all you care about.
Morrie, Morrie, we didn't do
anything, all right?
We bloody did.
Now I've got to carry the guilt.
Come on, don't tell the world
about it.
I bloody will.
I'm not carrying this thing on
me own.
They're going to put me away for
the rest of my life anyway,
so you're not getting off scot
free.
No, no, no one is going to be
put away, Morrie, all right?
Believe me, no one is going to
be put away.
Yeah?
What are we going to do, Sel?
Trust me, just trust me.
Have a drink, Morrie.
I'll take care of it.
I will take care of it.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
It's a donkey.
I picked a real donkey, Dick.
Listen, man, it's not worth
worrying about.
It's only money.
Look, I'll tell you what.
If it'll cheer you up, I'll give
you 10 quid back.
How about that?
It's not the same. [INTERPOSING
VOICES]
Hey, listen.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: --run over a
distance off 11 furlongs.
[INAUDIBLE] Jockey Club
officials were
very pleased with the turnout--
Hey, listen, shut up, you
[INAUDIBLE]..
The results are coming through.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: --today on a
fast track in sunny weather.
First, number nine, Gin Sling,
12 pounds, 10 shillings,
and five pounds 10 and 6.
[CHEERING]
[INAUDIBLE]
Don's just taken Norm Cray for
a bloody fortune!
Hold it right there, I'm coming
in.
[YELLING] Crikey, [INAUDIBLE]
Don.
Good on ya, mate, Good on ya!
We blew it, Wes.
It was an outsider.
It would have paid a fortune.
I'm a millionaire!
Well, come on, let's go and get
it.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Have you got that kind of
money, Norm?
Yeah, of course I have.
Yeah?
Here you are, Norman.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Looks like the bank's gone
bust.
[LAUGHTER]
Norm Cray always pays his
clients, big or small.
[JEERING]
Norm Cray always pays.
[JEERING]
Here's 800.
Ooh!
[MURMURING]
There's the rest.
[YELLING] [INAUDIBLE] drinks
are on me!
[CHEERING]
Just leave it there, Curly.
I'll take it in.
We'll see you tonight.
Yeah, OK.
[SCREECHING TIRES]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHATTER]
Wes!
[LAUGHTER]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Hey, you [INAUDIBLE] left a bit
late.
What for?
We won [INAUDIBLE] in the last
couple of hours.
[LAUGHTER]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Hey hey, young Don Jackson just
took
Norm Cray for a 1,000 quid.
Where is he?
Hey, I want to go back to the
party.
Yeah, yes, all right,
sweetheart, we're going.
Don, I reckon you'll be
celebrating all weekend,
so you'll be needing transport.
- Oh, good one. - Well, take
your pick.
[LAUGHTER] - Come on, Dick!
Yeah, coming.
Go on!
[LAUGHTER]
Hey, Don, don't spend it all at
once now.
You going to the dance?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right, we'll see you there.
See ya. Have fun.
Bye!
Boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh
boy, oh boy.
[FANFARE]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[LAUGHTER]
Have you seen, Morrie?
Sel, I haven't seen him all day.
I'm worried about him.
Forget it, Claire.
He's a big boy, he can take care
of himself.
Sel, I'm worried about him.
Cyril?
[WHISTLES]
- Hello, [INAUDIBLE] - Oh, hi!
Sweetheart.
Hear you struck it rich.
Yeah, you jokers wouldn't
believe what happened today.
Hey, hang on, Esmerelda.
Oh, it's all right.
I'll see you in there.
So, where's the money?
Oh, I've got it here.
You jokers won about 100 quid.
And the rest.
The rest is mine.
Eh?
You guys never rang up in time,
eh?
So I put a bet on--
well, my own.
Now hang in a minute, Donald.
There's something really
intrinsically--
Donald, let me explain.
We entered into a business
arrangement with you
in all good faith.
We are the going concern, you
see?
We have overhead, chattels, that
sort of thing.
Now you're more in the nature of
a casual employee,
a good one, the best, in fact.
But not strictly speaking in the
partnership, you see.
Now in cases like this, we
usually pay a flat 10%,
which is what, 100 quid?
The rest is ours.
Cut it out.
That's mine, I won it.
Yes, with our money.
You could have lost it.
Now we took that risk, you see.
Yeah.
I'll tell you what, I'll split
it three ways, fair shares,
even stevens.
How's that?
Very well, you strike a hard
bargain.
Right.
Three, two.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHATTER]
You're looking sharp tonight,
Cyril [INAUDIBLE]..
Very sharp.
If I felt any better, I'd be
dangerous.
[LAUGHTER]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
BETTOR: Come on, don't be shy.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Sixpence on that.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Hi, I'm Dinah.
Wesley Pennington.
Five bob on the diamond.
10 pounds on this spades.
Oh, sock it to him, Wesley!
Three diamonds!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
I'm in luck, kids.
Oh, poor Wesley.
Just settling in, my dear.
Just settling in. [INTERPOSING
VOICES]
[INAUDIBLE] another hearts.
[GROANING]
Take it away, take it away.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[SINGING] Bye, bye, birdie.
Come on, Norm.
You going to put up with the
occasional [INAUDIBLE]..
[SINGING] Bye bye, blackbird.
[INAUDIBLE]
Did you get any funny phone
calls today?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[APPLAUSE]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
SAXOPHONIST: [SINGING] I woke up
this morning,
got up on the wrong side of the
bed.
I woke up this morning, stepped
out
of the wrong side of the bed.
Woke up this morning,
[INAUDIBLE] got into my head.
Work for the money, work for the
money,
work for the money, [INAUDIBLE].
So look for my honey, look for
my honey, can't find my honey.
I'm feeling so good.
[INAUDIBLE]
Hey, hey, [INAUDIBLE].
[CHEERING]
Hey!
Get out of here, Don.
Get out.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Ow, oh!
[GROANING]
[BOOING]
I don't like idiots.
[POUNDING AT DOOR]
[INAUDIBLE] I'm coming, son.
Where on earth you been?
Where is he? [YELLING] Jackson!
[INAUDIBLE]
What the hell do you think
you're doing, Cray?
NORMAN CRAY: [YELLING] I've come
to get you, Jackson!
Jackson, where's my money?
FATHER: Here you leave that boy
alone.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
He's a good boy.
NORMAN CRAY: Come out, Jackson,
you're a skunk!
Come here!
[GROANING]
I'll get that creep.
[GROANING]
Oh no, not again.
I'm sorry about the leg.
[INAUDIBLE]
Thanks.
Ow, oh!
[GROANING]
[GROANING]
Ssh, it's OK, it's OK.
[INAUDIBLE] Oh, I think have
must
have bruised something inside.
[WHISPERING] Look it's OK.
I'll just have a look.
[WHIMPERING]
Ssh!
How's that?
[INAUDIBLE]
Down a bit.
It's better.
What's wrong?
You only want me because I'm so
rich.
Geez, you make me mad, you can
be so dumb sometimes.
[INAUDIBLE] That wasn't dumb,
was it?
ESMERELDA: Don, what are you
doing?
I've won, I've won!
Look, look, I've won!
DEALER: That's the way, don't be
shy now.
Put them down.
DINAH: On crown again.
Anchors away, the old hook or
by crook.
It's me again!
DICK: What a run!
DINAH: [INAUDIBLE].
DICK: 10 on the shovel.
Come on, baby.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
DICK: Oh boy, what a run!
Make it a club.
Hearts, hearts, it's got to be
hearts.
This time.
[GROANING]
DEALER: Thank you, bank wins.
I lost all my money.
DEALER: Two quid on the spades.
Anyone going to cover diamonds?
What about hearts? Come on--
You've got know when to stop.
Oh no, when you're on a run,
you ride it.
You're in no position to hand
out advice.
Look, honey, if you're going to
gamble,
you've got be prepared to accept
your losses.
Excuse me while I water the
flowers.
DEALER: Diamonds.
Hey, Buster?
You are coming back, aren't you?
[LAUGHING] Oh, of course.
I wouldn't want to see you go
away empty-handed.
WES PENNINGTON: You should be
warned, sir, Wesley Pennington
never goes home empty-handed.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Five bob on the diamond.
A shilling, a shilling.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[GROANING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
SAXOPHONIST: [SINGING] And the
night
wind blows cold across the
plain.
I remember how you loved me
until he made his claim.
Now I'm out in the cold again.
Feel like a smooth cruise,
sweetheart?
Go [INAUDIBLE] Shorty.
SAXOPHONIST: [SINGING] I'm out
in the cold, and I'm blue.
[WOLF WHISTLES]
When I sleep my dreams unfold,
you
come to me in visions of gold.
But when I wake I'm out in the
cold without you.
Don't let me down now.
Send me something.
Cooee!
That was quick.
Wesley?
Yes, my dear?
Hello!
Boy, I love the dress.
Gorgeous!
Gorgeous!
I lost all my money.
Oh, the slings and arrows of
outrageous fortune.
I need to piss.
May I be of some consolation?
[GROANING]
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I hurt you?
WES PENNINGTON: No.
No, no, it was an accident.
It's a lovely evening.
Oh, she doth teach the torches
to burn bright.
Me think she hangs upon the
cheek of night
like a rich jewel in an Ethiop's
ear.
I once played Romeo, it was a--
MAN: I'll have another drink.
[INAUDIBLE]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[LAUGHTER]
SAXOPHONIST: [SINGING] Now I
wander a stranger
in a land you've never seen.
The measure done, I'll take my
place of stand.
SAXOPHONIST: [SINGING] Oh, I'm
out in the cold,
and I'm lonesome.
[MOANING]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Dinah?
Dinah?
DINAH: Dick?
DICK: Oh, that you, Dinah?
Come on.
Oh, go away.
Let's go, eh?
DINAH: Go away!
What are you doing?
What you think?
DICK: Oh.
Come on, let's go, eh?
I'm a few quid up and I want to
stay that way.
[YELLING] No, go away, go away,
go away!
What's wrong with you?
Early mushrooms.
What?
We were looking for early
mushrooms, Dick.
[GROANING]
How could you? [SCREAMING] How
could you?
[WAILING] Oh, I'm sorry, Dick.
It was the drink, it was the
filthy drink.
[LAUGHTER]
DINAH: [WAILING] I'm gonna be
sick.
DICK: You tart! DINAH:
[INAUDIBLE]
I loved you.
Dick, don't talk to me like
that.
[INAUDIBLE]
DICK: How could you do that?
[CRYING]
DINAH: Wait for me.
I'm hurt, said Sir Andrew
Barton, wounded but not slain.
I'll lay me down and bleed a
while.
Then rise and fight again.
Hey, excuse me, mate.
You haven't seen a joker called
Wes, have you?
Tall fella, big nose.
[GROANING]
DINAH: [WAILING] Come back!
Wait for me!
[BIRDS TWEETING]
Cyril!
Cyril!
Wes?
Wes?
What's going on, Wes?
What have they done to you?
What'd I do, Wes?
You, my lad are one of nature's
gentlemen.
I'm sorry, Wes.
What's going on?
Wesley Pennington rides again.
[CHEERING]
Gotcha!
Take it easy, Norm.
No!
Jackson had to have a mate.
He ain't that clever, and it's
got to be you.
Let him go, Norm.
[YELLING] Like hell!
This [INAUDIBLE] made a joke out
of me today.
What monstrosity am I accused--
Sir, if this is your idea of
local hospitality--
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
I came to gamble, sir, to
gamble.
I said let him go, Norm.
He came here to play on my
board.
I don't care whose money it is,
let him go.
[MURMURING]
[WHISTLES]
I presume the house has no
objections to largish bets.
Not from you, Buster.
Then what are waiting for?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
MAN: There he goes.
There he goes.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
MAN: Here we go.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
50 Jimmy O'Goblins on the
crown.
Any more?
Just you and the bank.
Shake them up, Cary.
DINAH: Pull over. DICK: Eh?
DINAH: Pull over!
DICK: Hey, stop that, Dinah!
Let it go.
DINAH: [YELLING] No!
Stop the car!
I'm getting out.
I want to walk. DICK: You can't.
DINAH: I can.
DICK: No you can't.
Dinah, would you just--
would you just please get back
in the car?
Just get back in the car. - No.
DICK: Please, just get back in
the car.
DINAH: No, Dick.
I said I'm sorry.
Want me to tell the whole town
I'm sorry?
[SCREAMING] I'm sorry!
[INAUDIBLE] never have taken me
to that damn wool
shed in the first place.
I was sloshed, I was shaken, and
he
was splashing that money around
and looking at me that way.
DICK: Dinah, would you be quiet?
Do you want the whole town to
hear?
You're waking people up.
DINAH: [INAUDIBLE] It wasn't my
fault. [INAUDIBLE] [CRYING]
I'm sorry.
[CRYING]
[DOG BARKING]
What is it, Miss Fairweather?
There is fornication and
inebriation
at Mr. Bishop's wool shed.
Why don't you go back to bed?
No citizen should be in bed
while fornication is ripe.
Investigate, Sergeant.
Go back to bed, Miss
Fairweather!
Oh!
WIFE: Who was that, darling?
SERGEANT: Oh, Lady Fairweather.
Wants me to go out to Sel
Bishop's, for God's sake.
WIFE: Oh, come back to bed.
Oh-- jumping Jehosaphat!
[DOG BARKING]
What the blazes do you think
your doing?
Come along, Sergeant.
Do your duty.
Arrest me.
Miss Fairweather, this time--
[YELLING] you come back here!
MISS FAIRWEATHER: Catch me if
you can.
[YELLING] Fairweather!
[MURMURING]
Another 50 on the diamonds.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[GROANING]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
No diamond, Buster.
Hearts.
[MURMURING]
[WHISTLING]
[SIREN]
[GROANING]
Oh, would you believe it?
Would you believe it?
Ha, ha.
All right, that's it, you got
one more throw.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
You can't just stop when you
feel like it.
It's immoral.
Yeah!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
I lost a packet here tonight.
Do you want it or don't you?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Oh, your generosity overwhelms
me, sir.
Anchors, anchors, it's gotta be
anchors.
It's got to be anchors.
You going to put your money on
it, or just talk about it?
[WHISPERING] Go, Wes!
Do it!
[WHISTLING]
WES PENNINGTON: 200 quid on the
anchor.
[MURMURING]
Roll 'em.
[LAUGHTER]
This time.
[SIREN]
[CHEERING]
[YELLING] You've gotta win.
You've gotta!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[INAUDIBLE] pay him!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Pay up! Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up! Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up! Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
Pay up!
[CHEERING]
[YELLING] The cops!
The cops!
[SIRENS]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[YELLING] Come on, come on!
CYRIL KIDMAN: [YELLING] It's the
cops, Wes!
[SCREAMING]
[WHIMPERING] Cyril! Cyril!
Cyril!
He's all yours, Norm.
[SCREAMING] Oh no!
Cyril!
[SCREAMING]
[INAUDIBLE]
[SIRENS]
[CAR HORN]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Cyril! Cyril!
Cyril!
[CAR HORN]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Not this time.
Here!
Here, you [INAUDIBLE]
[? [INTERPOSING VOICES] ?]
NORMAN CRAY: [YELLING] Come back
here!
[CAR HORN]
[SHOUTING]
Through the trees.
[INAUDIBLE]
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING] Oh, Wes
[INAUDIBLE]..
[NON-ENGLISH]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Whoo-hoo!
Where is he, Sel?
What are you talking about?
Morrie.
It's his.
What have you done with him?
I haven't done anything with
him.
Yes, you have.
He's been on to you.
Claire, Claire, Claire, you're
starting to piss me off,
all right?
You are starting to piss me off.
Had a look at yourself recently?
You see what you look like?
I don't know what I saw you.
You're a dog, you know what?
You're a dog.
That won't work, Sel.
You're a dog.
- I want to know. - Hey--
What have you done with Morrie?
See the mess around this place,
eh?
You seen the mess you make
around this place?
All this junk?
Just tell me.
Just junk.
Just tell me what you done.
The big mistake I made was
letting you come in here
in the first place, wasn't it?
I live here.
Now tell me, what have you done?
No, you don't live here
anymore.
You don't know nothing, and you
don't live here anymore.
CLAIRE: I'm sick and tired of
being--
Get out! Just get out!
Get some clothes on and take
some of this junk with you.
[YELLING] You won't get rid of
me that easily, Sel!
My family's Irish, remember?
Oh, you dumb Polack, your
name's [INAUDIBLE]..
[CHURCH BELL RINGING]
[DOG BARKING]
DON JACKSON: It's only me, Dad.
I meant to tell you last night I
wouldn't
be home, so I hope you didn't
stay up all night to wait for--
what happened, Dad?
Had a visit from a friend of
yours last night,
your bookie, Norm Cray.
Oh, jeepers, Dad! I'm sorry.
Did you ring the Sergeant?
Do you really want the police
round
here asking questions, son?
Well, do you?
No.
I'm sorry, Dad.
I'm really sorry.
Are you, son?
You're really sorry, are you?
Oh, Dad.
[POUNDING AT DOOR]
FATHER: Oh, not again!
[YELLING] Cray, you bastard!
[SCREAMING] Oh please, don't
hit me, don't hit me,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
[INAUDIBLE] it's Wes, I need
your help.
He's drowned.
[MARIACHI MUSIC]
I'm dead.
Buenos dias, senor.
You wondering who am I?
WES PENNINGTON: No.
Behold, you see before you
Johnny Porano.
Otherwise known as the Tainuia
Kid, ta-da!
No, no, no.
I watch you last night from the
jungle.
I see you get punched out the
back yeah?
Oh.
Then I see you get chased out
the front.
Then I watch you go into the Rio
Grande.
Rio Grande?
Si, the river.
River.
Cyril! - Your partner?
Cyril.
He go in with you.
I am thinking maybe the taniwha
gobbled him up.
The what?
Taniwha, the monster of the
river.
Big black fishy thing.
WES PENNINGTON: No.
With blazing eyes.
No.
I watch him coming down the
river.
WES PENNINGTON: Cyril,
[INAUDIBLE]..
I am looking at this thing.
It's looking at me.
I am saying to myself--
I've got to find Cyril.
- --Kid-- what? - [YELLING]
Cyril!
Senor, wait for me.
WES PENNINGTON: [YELLING] Cyril!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[SCREAMING]
[YELLING] Cyril!
[SHOUTING]
[WAILING]
[SCREAMING]
[INAUDIBLE]
Senor Cyril!
When we find Cyril, I'll get
the money back,
there's no doubt about it.
No one takes Wes Pennington for
1,000 smackers, Kid.
No one.
So the war is on, Senor, eh?
Yeah, the war is on, all right.
You're darn tooting right the
war is on.
[SHOUTING] Cyril!
If that little sod's still
alive,
I swear I'll never touch another
drop again.
I swear it as long as I live.
Senor Wes. Senor Wes!
[YELLING] Wes!
[YELLING] Cyril!
Cyril!
Arriba!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
WES PENNINGTON: [YELLING] Cyril!
Cyril!
[YELLING]
CYRIL KIDMAN: [YELLING] Wes! WES
PENNINGTON: [YELLING] Cyril!
CYRIL KIDMAN: [YELLING] Wes!
WES PENNINGTON: [YELLING] Cyril!
Cyril, where the hell have you
been?
I could have drowned out there!
Well, I'm sorry, Wes.
Sorry? Straighten your tie.
KID: [YELLING] Arriba!
A few hours on your own, you
look like the dog's breakfast.
Where's the toothpaste?
The partners are back in the
saddle again!
You're darn tootin' right, Kid.
They're back in the saddle.
[WAILING]
I think there's enough already,
he won't argue.
We'll just nip in there, grab
the money, into the car
and off.
Si.
The army of the compadres, eh?
No.
No, Kid, no army.
No violence, no revolution.
Just keep well out of it.
I will be scout then.
Yes, but be a quiet scout.
I don't like this.
[YELLING] Hey, Senor Cray!
I give you a ride on the
merry-go-round, eh?
[YELLING] Don't touch the rope,
Kid!
[COUGHING]
Sorry.
I wish I'd never met you
jokers.
Nonsense, Donaldo.
You're having the time of your
life.
It's three against one.
Three and a half if you include
the Kid.
If everybody stays quiet,
there'll be no problems.
KID: [SCREAMING] Arriba!
Ha, ha!
No.
[YELLING] No!
Oh my god.
KID: [YELLING] Arriba, arriba,
arriba, ha, ha!
[SHOUTING]
And don't expect me to be here
when you get back.
Senor Cray, you like the
merry-go-round, eh?
[YELLING] Kid, no!
[LAUGHTER]
Quiet!
We want to sneak up on him.
[YELLING] Arriba!
Andale, andale!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Cray, what'd you do to my old
man?
Did you take a wrong turning?
[LAUGHTER]
I'm your friend.
It's Cray.
Arriba, arriba!
[LAUGHTER]
KID: [INAUDIBLE]
[SCREAMING] You moron!
Moron?
Who is mo--
I'll give you moron.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[INAUDIBLE]
[WAILING]
I'll make you a cray fish.
[WAILING]
Take this.
[SCREAMING]
You big fat fraud, Cray. Serves
you right.
CYRIL KIDMAN: Come over here and
I'll punch your lights out.
Look what they've done to my
car!
Sel Bishop, have you got my
money?
[YELLING] You lunatics!
[GUNSHOTS]
[YELLING] Hey!
Senor Bishop, we've got the army
of the compadres [INAUDIBLE]..
We gonna get the money off you
and cook your duck, ha, ha, ha!
[YELLING] You filthy scum!
[GUNSHOTS]
Lousy shot, [INAUDIBLE].
[GUNSHOT]
I'll kill that Maori lunatic
one of these days.
[YELLING] Give me the gun, I'll
kill the lot of them!
Shut up.
[YELLING] What about my car?
[YELLING] Shut up about your
car.
[YELLING] I'll be back, Bishop!
That's my money!
I'll be back.
It cost me 150 pounds,
[INAUDIBLE]..
- Forget your car. - Sel--
It's a hunk of junk anyway.
I'll cook your [INAUDIBLE] for
breakfast.
[YELLING] Cray, you bully!
Here!
You bring that car back!
[CAR HORN]
CLAIRE: Bye, Sel!
Lost your car, eh?
Shut up!
Oh!
[GUNSHOT]
Oh, f--
[HUMMING]
I mean, what is this between
you and Norm Cray, anyway?
First off, he broke my dad's
leg.
The whole foot came off.
My god.
It's true, Wes.
He was going to clobber me with
it this morning.
With his father's foot?
Yeah.
We brought it, it's in the car
with us.
You've got a foot in the car?
It's a wooden one.
Your father's got wooden feet?
You help me with this, I'll buy
him a whole wardrobe
of wooden feet.
Besides, Donald, what an
opportunity to avenge yourself
on your dad's assailant.
Cause that's where he is, right
there.
Right there across the river.
I don't know.
Sel Bishop's pretty mean.
- He's right, Wes. - Huh?
Look, why don't we just sneak
across when it's dark
and get the car?
Cut our losses and go.
Because that's my money out
there, that's why.
I just don't want to get
killed, Wes.
Killed?
Killed?
Who's going to get killed?
Nobody's going to get killed.
We just wait till it's dark.
Then what?
I don't know.
I'll think of something.
When the time comes, I always
do.
The point is, you and I are
going to get my money back.
You are going to avenge yourself
on your dad, hey?
[GROANING]
Isn't that right, Kid?
[IMITATING GUNSHOTS]
He's no fool.
[SCREAMING]
- Will you go, Wes. - No, you go
first.
You go.
After you.
I've got the petrol.
Yes, I'll carry the petrol.
Oh.
Me first, I think.
No, no, Kid.
You stay here on this side.
Rear scout, OK?
The taniwha, senor.
Not now, Kid.
But the taniwha's [INAUDIBLE]
monster.
- Monster? - It's nothing,
ignore him.
No, no, want to know. What
monster?
See around that bend is a
bottomless pit [INAUDIBLE]..
And in there is the taniwha,
terrible, terrible sight.
I think I'm getting the
jitters.
When I cross the bridge, I
always give the taniwha money.
Yes.
Always the best thing, I say.
Good idea.
I do it for you, hm?
Wes, I don't like monsters.
What is wrong with you two?
In case you hadn't noticed, the
guy
is living in a different world.
[YELLING] Hey!
Hey, taniwha, my [INAUDIBLE]
friend.
I salute you!
[INAUDIBLE] taniwha, it's me,
the Kid, OK?
Smile on our [INAUDIBLE]
tonight,
because we are fighting for the
right,
the justice, and the truth.
Adios, amigos!
Arriba, arriba!
[IMITATING GUNSHOTS]
Yeah.
Cyril?
I'm sorry, Wes.
[INAUDIBLE]
Thank you.
[INAUDIBLE] [SCREAMING] Arriba,
arriba!
[INAUDIBLE]
Come on, Wes.
CLAIRE: Morrie!
Morrie, is that you?
Morrie?
Darkie.
I'm sorry about old Pop.
Yeah, poor old duck.
CLAIRE: I didn't even know he
was staying here.
Well, nobody did.
Except Sel, of course.
He knew.
Sel?
DARKIE BENSON: Yeah, sure.
I was sure he was going to throw
him out.
Just shrugged.
Lousy world, eh?
The only decent thing Sel Bishop
ever did, and killed old Pop.
Right!
[DOG HOWLS]
[JINGLING]
Will you stop that?
Ssh, quiet!
Put that thing away!
[INAUDIBLE]?
I've got a new job for you,
rear scout.
It's dark, senor.
I be front scout.
But-- no, no, stay there.
Stay-- all right, stay there.
Yes, you could ambush them as
they come out
with a six gun one at a time.
Now are you satisfied?
Si, senor.
Thank god for that.
Now Cyril, have you got the
lighter?
Put it out!
Put it out!
Quite simple, Norm.
Jackson and his teammates for
you, I want the merry lunatic.
I've got to get in and out
quick.
You'd better stop counting.
OK.
Don't start the fire until you
get to 100.
One, two.
What about Cray?
Ah, revenge is sweet, eh,
Donaldo?
Now when Cray comes out, you
give a yell
and call him over here.
Then you ambush him.
It's simple, it's so simple.
Cyril, keep the car warmed up.
Now does everybody know what
they're doing?
Yeah.
- Fire. - Fire.
- Rear scout? - Si, scout.
Money.
Start counting.
- 1, - Oh, no.
- 2. - 2.
3, 4, 5, 6.
5.
7.
6.
No.
No.
11, 12, 13, 14, 15.
16.
18, 19, 20, 21.
22, 23.
24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30.
WES PENNINGTON: 31, 32, 33, 34,
35, 36.
37, 38, 39, 40.
41, 42, 43.
44, 45, 46, 47, 48.
49, 50, 51.
[WHIMPERING]
60, 61, 62.
68, 69.
72, 73, 74, 75.
KID: Amigos!
[SCREAMING]
What are you doing in there?
Will you get out?
I found the carambas.
Just shut up and get out of
here!
Wait, wait, wait, what's the
count?
80.
81, 82, 83.
Caramba!
WES PENNINGTON: 85, 86.
87, 88, 89, 90, 91.
Excuse me, senor?
Oh, crikey, will you stop doing
that?
- You have the light? - Oh sure.
Gracias.
That's all right, Kid.
Where were we?
100.
What do you mean, you don't
know, Donald?
I lost the count.
What's-- oh, Wes!
[SCREAMING]
[YELLING] Arriba, arriba!
Caramba!
[SCREAMING]
[LAUGHTER]
No, no, Kid, no!
Hey, Senor [INAUDIBLE] look
what I got for you.
[LAUGHTER]
[YELLING] Ha, ha ha, andale!
Look, just go away, Kid. You'll
kill us!
[INAUDIBLE] andale.
Yee-ha!
Arriba!
Arriba!
Damn!
It's gotta be here somewhere,
it's just got to be.
[SNEEZING]
[GUN COCKING]
NORMAN CRAY: There he is!
Sel, the Kid!
[HUMMING]
[GUNSHOT]
[YELLING] And you're not a
Mexican, you're a Maori!
KID: And you're a [INAUDIBLE].
[GUNSHOT]
[INAUDIBLE] Gotcha.
[GUNSHOT]
SEL BISHOP: [YELLING] Claire?
KID: You're still a lousy shot,
senor.
You got [INAUDIBLE] in your
[INAUDIBLE]..
[LAUGHTER]
Oh, come on!
CLAIRE: Sel?
SEL BISHOP: [YELLING] Claire!
All right, you brought the car
back. [YELLING]
Now get the hell out of here.
[INAUDIBLE] all right?
Take your lousy, stinking
[INAUDIBLE]..
Take it out of my place and
don't bring it back.
[LAUGHING] You won't get rid of
me that easily, Sel.
I'm staying.
No, you're going.
You're going right now.
No, I'm not.
Not until you tell me what
you've done with Morrie.
Murderer.
SEL BISHOP: You're crazy.
No, Sel.
Darkie Benson told me.
You knew poor old Pop Simon was
in that building,
and you did nothing about it.
You let Morrie go and burn the
place down anyway
for your measly insurance money.
You're a murderer, Sel.
So what are you going to do
about it?
You tell me where Morrie is.
If he's OK, I'll do nothing.
But if anything's happened to
him, I'll go to the police.
I always said you were stupid,
Claire.
But I'll do it, Sel.
I told you I was Irish.
SEL BISHOP: No, you're just
crazy.
You want Morrie?
I'll give you Morrie.
You can join him.
CLAIRE: You bastard.
You've killed him too.
SEL BISHOP: You lousy
[INAUDIBLE]..
I'll kill you!
Ow, my [INAUDIBLE].
[GROANING]
[SCREAMING]
[GROANING]
Hi, Sel, hi.
I came back for my hat, white
Panama.
If it's not convenient, I'll
call back at another time.
You idiots.
Lover's quarrel, Sel.
I understand.
I understand, I've had
experience of these matters.
I didn't hear a thing, Sel, not
a thing.
Scout's honor.
Dip, dip, dip All right, I came
back for the money.
Now that's a perfectly normal
human ambition, Sel.
Surely you can understand that.
CLAIRE: Sel.
All right, move.
CLAIRE: No!
[YELLING] Move it!
Down the steps, go.
Please, Sel.
Wait now, wait.
This is no way to treat a paying
customer.
It's bad for business.
Word gets out.
All right, all right, I
understand.
It's late, tempers are frayed.
Nobody's at their best at 3:00
in the morning.
Shut up!
You're dumb, Pennington.
You're stupid.
And my god, I hate stupid
people.
I have a degree in economics!
[YELLING] Shut up!
All right, all right.
[INAUDIBLE] worked long hours.
You need a holiday. I need a
holiday.
Norfolk Island!
Where are we going, Sel?
All right, where are we going?
In here? You want me to go in
here?
All right. All right, Sel.
Look, I'm unlocking. -
[INAUDIBLE]
I'm opening the door.
[SCREAMING]
[INAUDIBLE]
[SQUEALING] Oh, Morrie!
Come and join the party.
[WAILING]
Sel, I didn't hear a thing, I--
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[GROANING]
[SQUEALING]
[LAUGHTER]
Party's getting rough.
CLAIRE: [YELLING] Help!
Help me!
Keep shouting, [YELLING] keep
shouting!
No one's listening.
CLAIRE: [SCREAMING] Help!
Sel!
Let us out!
I won't tell anyone.
I promise!
[YELLING] Norm?
CLAIRE: Sel!
You out there?
CLAIRE: Please, Sel!
Norm?
CLAIRE: Please!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Gonna skin you, Jackson.
Here!
Ah, ha!
CLAIRE: We'll be back together
again, Sel.
It'll be like the old times.
But I'll be good, Sel.
Sel!
[SCREAMING] That's right!
Show us how strong you are.
[INAUDIBLE]
If you don't let us out, you're
in big trouble, Sel.
Trouble.
You're in for a long stretch in
the can.
Sel!
Sel?
They'll get you, Sel.
You won't get away with it.
All right, Jackson.
Yeah, you're history, Jackson.
I've got you.
Here!
[SCREAMING]
[INAUDIBLE]
No, Jackson, Put me down,
Jackson.
[INAUDIBLE]
[SCREAMING]
You're a Crayfish now!
Whoo!
CLAIRE: Please, Sel.
Sel?
Caramba!
A thunder stick, [IMITATING
GUNSHOTS]
WES PENNINGTON: Kid!
We're in here.
All the good guys are in here.
Senor Wes?
Kid!
Kid!
[POUNDING AT DOOR]
Kid, is that you?
CLAIRE: Kid?
KID: Senor?
Is that you?
It's the Kid, it's the Kid.
[SINGING] Maori Battalion march
to victory.
Maori Battalion--
Oh, shut up!
I have the gun.
Senor Bishop has vamoosed.
I'm going to save you
[INAUDIBLE] just like I
saved you at the Rio Grande. -
Psst!
CLAIRE: Kid, unlock the door.
[YELLING] Kid, look out behind
you.
[GUNSHOT]
Did you hear that?
Good one, heh, heh!
KID: Don't be angry, senor.
All right, Dopey, drop the gun.
Senor [INAUDIBLE]
WES PENNINGTON: [YELLING] Kid!
Kid, are you all right?
Come on.
Drop the gun.
WES PENNINGTON: Kid!
Open the door!
Come on.
Drop it.
Drop the gun, Dopey.
I'm going now.
[GUNSHOT]
[SCREAMING]
[LAUGHTER]
Caramba!
OK, [INAUDIBLE]
[GUNSHOT]
[LAUGHING] So that's how you do,
eh?
[GUNSHOT]
[SCREAMING]
[LAUGHTER]
[INAUDIBLE]
[GUNSHOT]
Tainuia Kid.
[GUNSHOT]
[SCREAMING]
Oh, sorry Senor Cyril.
You OK?
Que, what?
No, no, not at me, Kid.
Gun?
Oh!
Bishop! KID: Huh?
Bishop!
[LAUGHTER]
For using your gun, I--
I got to go and find my horse.
I give you everything back.
We-- we are friends now, huh?
Look, look, you want my gun?
I want-- I won't let your tires
down any--
what about your cigar, senor,
eh?
Look it's still good.
No, not the cigar. [YELLING]
Not the cigar!
You have here.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Run!
Save Cyril!
Money! [YELLING] Fire!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Ha, ha!
All right, you lunatic.
It's time.
[SCREAMING]
Senor Bishop?
[SCREECHING TIRES]
Senor Bishop?
[GROANING]
[INAUDIBLE] [YELLING] I'll kill
you!
I'm going to kill you!
[BRAKES SCREECHING]
[SINGING] Da dum, da!
[TARZAN YELL] [HUMMING]
[SCREAMING] Arriba!
Arriba, arriba, arriba, ha, ha!
Arriba!
Oh, f--
[SCREAMING] Arriba!
DON JACKSON: Holy smoke!
Sel?
The booze.
The money.
KID: Oh no, senor.
The money!
[INAUDIBLE] You're a genius.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh no, senor.
The Kid is now The Bandito!
[SCREAMING] Arriba, arriba!
Oh!
Follow that Kid!
Kid, come back!
That's my money!
[YELLING] Kid!
Kid!
[LAUGHTER]
[INAUDIBLE]
We're cracking the whip,
[INAUDIBLE]..
Keep your eyes on the road.
You do the driving, I'll do the
dialogue.
The bridge!
KID: Arriba, arriba, arriba!
WES PENNINGTON: Stop!
Hey, [INAUDIBLE] I am the king
of the Rio Grande now.
Hoo, hoo, hoo, I am the king of
the--
[INAUDIBLE]
That's not the devil, is it?
[SCREAMING] Taniwha!
No Kid!
Money for you!
WES PENNINGTON: [YELLING] It's
not the taniwha!
KID: Look what I got for you, my
friend.
I am the king [INAUDIBLE].
[YELLING] It's my money!
You want some more?
Senor taniwha, for you, all the
money.
Don't take me.
I give you [INAUDIBLE].
[BUGLE PLAYING]
They went with songs to the
battle.
They were young, straight of
limb, true of eye,
steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end
against odds uncounted.
They fell with their faces to
the foe.
They shall not grow old as we
that are left are old.
Age shall not weary them--
[BELCHING]
--nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and
in the morning,
we shall remember them.
Well, that's the weekend cut.
Time to be moving on, old sport.
What do you got in mind?
I thought the Napier course
looked interesting.
Yeah, I reckon I could handle a
few days by the sea.
We only need to find a phone
and a put.
Should be a doddle.
Go on, Wes!
Onward, Cyril [INAUDIBLE].
Onward!
[CHEERING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[MUSIC - BEAVER, "THIS TIME"]
[SINGING] I look at the stars
and they're smiling down.
And they're telling me, don't
you see?
Life's too short to shag around.
Gotta take a chance, if you
wanna be free.
Looking for the big one, you
better move fast.
Gotta be in to win.
So roll the dice and deal the
cards,
and give that wheel a spin.
Cause this time the wheel of
fortune's going to spin for me.
This time Lady Luck's gonna
dance with me.
I've been told, and it's true,
I've found,
we'll all end up six foot under
ground.
If I was born to be hanged, I'll
never be drowned.
If you're in for a penny, I'm in
for a pound.
Luck don't wait around forever
while you make up your mind.
Sometime, next time, could be
never.
You might get left behind.
So listen to this good advice.
Gotta be in to win.
Deal the cards and roll the
dice,
and give that wheel a spin.
Cause this time the wheel of
fortune's going to spin for me.
This time Lady Luck's gonna
dance with me.
This time the wheel of fortune's
going to spin for me.
This time Lady Luck's gonna
dance with me.