Cambio tutto (2020) - full transcript

SAY IT LOUD!

Fry the courgette flowers...

I couldn't sleep, I was anxious,
I had panic attacks,

my life wasn't worth living anymore,
but that's changed now.

And for that I must thank
Steve Bianconi.

You should've seen Luca
when he first came to me.

Poor man, he looked like
a sad dog...

Don't miss out on this fantastic
opportunity with Free Tour.

New York is a city you must see
and return to, you'll never be bored.

It's called the capital of the world...

Can't sleep tonight either?



The neighbour's blasting music...

Can't you complain?

I stopped Raf from going up there
and smashing the place up.

Why are you up?

No reason, you tell me.

Pre-wedding nerves perhaps.

Do you feel ready?

Typing...

Typing...

Of course!

Honey, the water's freezing,
did you pay the bill?

I thought you did.

Cold water's good for you,
it's anti-ageing.

- You said you'd do it.
- We obviously forgot.



- I'll go pay it.
- We said we'd pay by direct debit.

You said that,
and cut the royal "we".

Those crooks at the bank
aren't getting another cent out of me.

- You can pay online.
- It's not working.

- What isn't?
- Internet.

You need to call them.

Can you do it, please?

How can I?
Honey, I work.

Right.

Did you buy yogurt?

- Aren't there any?
- No.

We obviously forgot.

- I always have to do the shopping.
- Only sometimes.

- I work all day.
- Exactly.

I'm an artist, imagine telling Leonardo:

"Stop painting the Mona Lisa,
we're out of cornflakes."

- Call it art...
- What did you say?

When you go to the supermarket,
get what's on the list...

I can only eat yogurt in the morning.

- They'd run out.
- No yogurt in the entire supermarket?

Sold out.

Awesome diet, can I do it too?

How come you're not at school?

- Did you stay out all night again?
- No, I'm going in late.

Again?
Don't you take school seriously?

I do. In fact, I got up at dawn.

I did a food drop for the homeless,

I revised Chemistry then went for a jog.

Want to join me tomorrow?

Talking of being serious,
where's dad?

We still have no Wi-Fi?
You guys are hopeless!

- Watch out!
- Sorry.

Good morning, can you ask Mr. Sergenti
to stop having all-night parties?

I no help you, me only porter,
talk to building manager.

Or to Mr. Sergenti, he just left.

Have you by chance seen our gas bill?

They sent it a month ago.

Yes, of course, me have it.

- Great!
- Yes, I stolen your bill.

You think me thief and also stupid?

Why would I stolen your bill?

I stolen it for fun, right?

Me evil foreigner
with thief's blood in my veins.

- Hi, everything okay?
- Yes.

Listen, maybe I'm a light sleeper,

but when you have all-night parties
I can't sleep.

It's the weekend.

- Today's Tuesday.
- Already?

I'm on leave.

That's for wet waste.

I know, it's dripping.

My goodness! When you're in a rush

you're a real sight for sore eyes!

Good morning to the pair of you!
Angel...

I love it when you're running late.

Hi sis, it's Piergiorgio's birthday today.

Yes, I'll come after work!

Giulia, it's Vanessa,
are you coming today?

I really need to see you,
I'm begging you, please!

I'll try.

- Where are you?
- I'm parking, I'll be five minutes.

- The client is almost here.
- Okay, I'm coming.

- Get your skates on.
- Okay.

- Great job.
- Thanks.

- How about dinner tonight?
- Sure.

Make sure you don't forget
those lovely eyes of yours.

Hey, I love your lipstick!

- Fancy drinks with me?
- Absolutely.

Purple princess!
How about lunch today?

- Sure, I'll be here.
- Great.

Sorry, not you.

And finally... do you have plans
this afternoon?

The longest 5 minutes ever!

Were you parking a freight train?

Sorry, traffic was awful.

Has the client arrived?

No, he's postponed until this afternoon.
Count yourself lucky.

- I jumped six traffic lights...
- And it shows, darling.

You look pale, maybe it's this outfit.

It's morning, you look bedraggled.
Let your hair down.

My boiler broke, no hot water.

- What?
- Nothing.

Why don't you take some advice
from our lovely ladies here?

I'll be in my office.

Even with no shut-eye,
you look splendid...

Giulia, how long have you been with us?

Thirteen years, ten with your father...

- And the rest with you.
- A long time, right?

Times are changing fast

and luckily our products
are still very popular.

But the framework we work in
has changed.

Millennials, the so-called
future prodigies, are old hat.

Yes, and we are using new strategies
to update our marketing.

To update our marketing?

Our Instagram account
has 900 followers.

Matilda has 300,000.

- Who?
- Chiara Ferragni's dog.

Yes, but we're working
with limited resources.

Of course, here at Venti Dolci
we can't afford a dog!

Show her in, please.

Do you know Ludo?

The famous Ludo?

- Is she a model?
- She's much more...

She's an influencer,
with one million Instagram followers,

a 27% increase in six months.

Impressive!

Hello, Ludovers!

Are you living life to the max?

I am, because today I'm here
at Venti Dolci HQ.

The makers of your favourite treats,
snack-lovers!

Hi! This is...

- Giulia.
- Yes! Say hi to all Ludovers!

Say hi to all Ludovers!

How sweet.

Mrs. Giulia will be assisting me
in this new adventure.

In-house marketing at Venti Dolci HQ.

She's multilingual too.

Wow! I know, guys!

That's all for now, guys.

I have to crack on.

Bye, Ludovers!
Live your best life!

But... I'm in charge of marketing.

Yes, and she will now be
your supervisor.

Hi, I'm Ludo.
Valerio's told me so much about you.

My idea is to combine two worlds:
innovation...

and tradition.

Cutting-edge cool with classicism.

Youth with...

Right.

With your different skill-sets
you'll supervise one another.

"One" being Ludo,
and the "other" being you.

- You're demoting me.
- I wouldn't dream of it.

At least not until I know what
"demoting" means.

Just kidding, but our target market
is 5-15 year-olds.

How old are you now? 41?

- 40.
- She looks 41.

What's wrong with being 40?

- Nothing. Why?
- My mum's 40 and she looks hot.

Her mum.

- Come in.
- Bonjour!

My night-time therapist.

- No sugar.
- It's cheaper.

Word has it that ex-partners
are the best therapists.

They also make the worst patients.

- What did Valerio want?
- I now have to answer to Ludo.

- I don't follow.
- Ludo, a 20-year-old influencer.

As from today my work will be checked
by her...

and her one million followers.

- Cute shirt!
- Nice, isn't it?

It's a new look, you usually stick
to white, or light blue...

I've decided to update my wardrobe,
with some new outfits.

- Alessandra bought it for me.
- Nice gift, this means it must be love.

Yes, but the most ridiculous gift
I ever got was from you.

A toaster that made pancakes
with your face on them.

But at least when you got mad

you could burn the toast.

- Right.
- It was my sister's idea.

How is that nutcase Bea?

Today Piergiorgio's turning one,
she's having a party.

- A birthday party for a cat?
- It's trendy now.

- Will she make a cake with mice on it?
- I don't know!

Well, work calls...

Talking of gifts...

Great news about the company bonus,
right?

What bonus?

- Didn't Valerio tell you?
- No, he didn't.

Well, perhaps my bonus...
is Ludo?

Well, chin up. See you.

Oh God!

Welcome to Telemond,
your internet provider,

insert your user code.

User code not recognised.
Please try again.

Thank you, welcome to our network.

We're putting you through
to Customer Services.

Press 1 for land line numbers,
2 for broadband...

All our operators are busy.

Please hold the line.

Hi, you're through to Carlo,
this conversation will be recorded,

in order to improve our service,
how can I help?

Hi, Carlo, I urgently need
a technician to fix my broadband...

Hello? Hello?

Welcome to Telemond,
your internet provider,

insert your...
User code not recognised.

Please try again...

Thank you, welcome to our network...

Move it!

Sorry.

- It's so painful.
- Come on, Vanessa!

Fabrizio, he's joined Tinder.

- Your ex?
- Yes.

Tinder, you know.

I know what Tinder is,
but aren't you with Roberto?

So what?

Maybe Fabrizio joined Tinder
to see if I'm on it.

- And are you?
- Of course, that's how I met Roberto.

- Don't you remember?
- Yes, sorry.

I reckon Fabrizio secretly wants
to get back with me,

that's why he joined.

But you can only see who's looking
at your profile if they like it.

Has he liked my profile?

- Yes?
- No! He hasn't!

He just keeps sending me
mixed messages, listen...

Vanessa, please,
stop calling my mother.

It's been eight months,
please stop!

What does he mean?

- What do you think?
- He's just jealous!

- But it's his mum.
- Exactly, what a low-life he is!

Hurting the two most important women
in his life.

With all these mixed messages,
he'll lose me!

Well, I don't blame you...

Switch.

Move it!

I just want this day to be over.

I want to go home, have a hot bath

and eat a ton of pistachio ice-cream.

How gross! Are you okay?

No, not at all, they've put a young girl
in charge of me,

she thinks she's the bee's knees
and bosses me about

but tries to be considerate too,
like you do with old people.

- Are you listening?
- Yes! I get it, she's a kid.

Hold on, look at this dog!
Look what it does.

- Want some pizza?
- Oh God!

Dope's here, here's a "pick"
but delete it afterwards!

No, honey!

He made a mistake, that text
wasn't for you. Trust me.

The problem isn't that,
it's that he's dealing drugs!

Hold on, don't be so dramatic!

It's legal in most of the world.

If we were in California,
Jacopo would be classed a businessman.

Should we tell the police that
when they arrest him?

And he still can't spell,
with all the tutoring that I...

that we paid for him.

Honey, stop making such a big deal
about everything.

Come on! Stop being anxious,
or you'll make us anxious too.

That's just how
youngsters write in texts,

they just shorten words,

and abbreviate everything!

I think it's cool.

But it's illegible!

- Never mind, I'll see you later.
- Bye, honey.

STEVE BIANCONI
Holistic Counsellor

The key will be our endorsers,
the most popular celebrities

loved by teenagers.

Ludo, any comments?

I'm new here, so I don't intend
to tell you how to do your job

but... "endorsers"?

Aren't they somewhat... 2017?

It's proven that they're still
very effective.

Yes, I'm sure they were.

But they've lost their appeal now.

Plus young people know when
you're trying to sell them something

and this isn't very... organic!

My six-year old knows that.

Ludo's our new secret weapon.
She's organic!

So what do you propose?

An audio-visual campaign,
exclusively for digital media.

Viral marketing.

Are you serious?

Viral marketing! That's so 2015!

No, I'm proposing an experience.

A stream of videos, tweets, GIFs,

memes, with gamers, make-up gurus,
models, soccer stars...

- You mean... endorsers.
- Yes.

But different.

Imagine stories, two second clips...

one second clips!
Posted across social media.

Right, that's where our market is.

But a two second clip can be
quickly forgotten... in a flash!

You know what, Giulia?
I know it's hard for you to grasp,

but the fact is that my generation
wants to enjoy life.

Without watching long and boring
content...

So allow us the time to integrate

the effective, albeit vintage,
presentation by Giulia

with Ludo's ideas and we'll meet
tomorrow.

What ideas?
There's nothing tangible.

Giulia, come on!

"Tangible"... that's so 2011!

More like Christmas 2010!

See how many friends came
to your party? Honey!

Let's sing "Happy birthday".

Shall we sing it together?

On the count of three!

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday dear Piergiorgio

Happy birthday to you!

Blow out the candles! Make a wish...

Isn't it a great party, honey?

Enough cake, that's the third slice.

My little greedy-guts!

How are you? You look tired.

Things are really tough.

- You should get a cat too.
- Me?

In fact, do a trial run with Piergiorgio
tomorrow.

Meaning?

I'm going to Naples for
the Feline Rights Association conference.

MPs know our votes count too.

Piergiorgio will finally have rights too.

Like immigrants with resident permits.

Yes, after all, he came from a refuge

so that makes him a refugee...

Exactly, I'll mention that
at the conference, thanks.

I had asked Stefano to come,
but he can't,

Who's Stefano?

- Another guy?
- No, this one's different.

I met him at an exhibition,
he's drop-dead gorgeous.

Shame he's not here, you must
meet him. But he works too much.

It must've been urgent
to miss out on

an event as important as this!

Will you help me? Just pop over
at nine and at midday.

I don't know, can I confirm later?

Things are really tough.
I'm on medication...

That reminds me! Piergiorgio needs
10 drops for his thyroid

and three for his stomach.

He's a bit constipated too,
so he'll need a suppository.

- A suppository?
- It's dead simple.

Hi, are you the broadband technician?

I live at flat 13,
is it working now?

No, I rang the buzzer for half an hour
and no one answered.

I was told someone would be in.

That's strange, my husband
should be in.

I'll let you in now.

No, my shift ends at 19:00
and it's now 19:03.

- So goodbye.
- No, please.

I need internet, please.
5 minutes.

My shift is over,
I'm not paid for overtime,

trade union rules forbid it, and between
you and me, so does my wife.

- How about tomorrow?
- It's not down to me.

Make a new appointment

but someone must be home
between 9:00 and 19:00.

That's quite a big time slot...

- You're telling me?! Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

Honey! Didn't you hear
the internet technician ring the buzzer?

Stop shouting!

- Why are you shouting?
- Turn the music down!

But it helps me to concentrate!

Fine, if you'd rather I stop working

to answer the door to technicians
or Jehovah Witnesses, just say so.

If that's the case, I'll stop.

- I'll call it a day!
- No, sorry.

Sorry.

- Do you want to eat?
- Yes, thanks, I'm starving.

But, please, not yet.

Around 23:00, 23:30.

But it's 19:15.

Honey, I need to finish.

It's delicious.

It's perfect.

Mum, can I have some milk?

Some milk, mum.

Bed-and-Breakfast.it
for the best B&Bs.

Steinbocks are wild mountain goats...

When it feels
like no one understands you.

Like no one is listening to you.

I mean you.

Yes you, who at this time of night
can't sleep,

because you're fraught with anxiety...

No!

Don't change the channel!

I'm talking to you.

Yes, you.

I can help you...

In a tangible way.

I can help you rid yourself
of anxiety.

Trust me.

Giulia...

Santini?

Go on in.

Be the change you wish to see

Tell me...

what brings you here?

I keep seeing you everywhere.

That seems like a clear sign
that we're destined to meet.

Or it's a sign of good marketing.

I know, it's my field.

My medication's not working,
my anxiety...

Admittedly, the situation is serious,

You are very, very...

constricted.

Between your fourth and fifth chakra
there's a real Pandora's box.

You'll have noticed that the sound
basically disappears,

as if into... a black hole.

No, I haven't.

Oh God, am I the black hole?

No, good heavens, you mustn't start
identifying with the problem,

that's of no use.

Imagine...

a knot.

A blockage that oppresses you.

Inside of it are
your bottled-up emotions.

You can no longer repress them
and you're unhappy, but...

this is a good sign, believe me.

It means that your body...

has had enough.

To clear this blockage...

You need Karuna.

Karuna by the gallon.

- Medication?
- Please, let me finish.

We need to unleash the free,
determined woman within you...

who is trapped in a prison.

Your emotions need to flow.

Flow.

Flow.

It's a unique and powerful remedy.

To be used with caution.

When you feel anxious take three
or four drops max.

Call me in a few days.

Tell me how you're feeling.

Welcome to Telemond,
your internet provider,

your name and surname please.

Santini.

Say "one" for connectivity issues.

- One.
- Operator 248 will help you.

- I'm Giampaolo, how can I help?
- At last!

I need a technician...

Hello? Hello?

Stop!

Stop!

Stop!

Help!

Please, stop him!

Stop him!

Help! Stop him!

Sorry.

- Enough!
- Bastard!

- Enough!
- Bastard!

Your phone's there, take it.
You're nuts!

She's nuts.

Thanks!
Thanks for helping, I'm touched.

Make sure you tag me too.
Don't forget.

Fuck you.

Know what time it is?
We have a meeting...

Time I tell you what I think.

For years I've asked for a rise
seeing I work my butt off.

Now you're giving bonuses
to everyone except me.

Instead, I get to work for a supervisor
with more followers than brain cells.

I realise it must be difficult
to be outshone by a youngster...

No, I'm talking about my salary,
which hasn't gone up in 5 years,

while my male colleagues
earn loads more than me.

You sound like a suffragette!
Spare me the outdated feminism!

Company bonuses
are based on a precise strategy,

I can't reward everyone.

Is that why you used company funds
to get yourself a Ferrari?

That was a sacrifice.

To improve the image of the company,

as opposed to you,
coming to work wearing...

what look is that?

It's so...

Give me the money for a new wardrobe,

a haircut and beauty treatments then!

You're incapable of running a business.
You're a jerk.

You went to agricultural college
and that's the result.

I get it.

I get it.

You're on your period.

What? No!

You're menopausal.

- Do you want a painkiller?
- Fuck you!

Let's talk.

Ludovers, save the date.
Next week we're going to Ibiza!

All one million of them?

She doesn't even know where Ibiza is.

- Christ! It's in Spain!
- You see?

She's cultured too.

What's the capital of Spain?

Do you think I'm stupid?
That's easy.

It's Ibiza.

It's Madrid.

Listen, I'm entitled to my opinion.

Culture isn't the be-all and end-all.
That rhymes.

Rhymes are usually true.

Hey!

No! What the...

Are you nuts?

Shall we do the same
to his Ferrari?

Time to get back to work, you jerk.

Like that rhyme?

It's not a hard and fast rule,
I have to say.

Giulia!

- What's up? What's wrong?
- Nothing. Leave me alone.

But look at you! What's the matter?
Honey, you know you can tell me.

Enough, stop being so smarmy!

- Hey, what's wrong?
- "Hey, what's wrong?"

What's wrong?

When we were together,
you never wanted to commit.

- Shall we move in together?
- No, too scary!

Kids? Heaven forbid.

You're marrying Alessandra, so back off!
Enjoy her and make her happy!

Lower your voice.

It was you who left me for Raf,

the artist, the thinker,
the one who understood you.

The breath of fresh air.

To be honest, you're not exactly
a picture of splendour now.

I'm glad you're starting to say
what you actually think.

I left you because you were an amoeba
with no balls.

Or do amoebas have balls?

You must have a passion for parasites.

At least I didn't sponge off you.

Whatever that guy gave me,

I now can't repress my actions
or reactions.

I can't hold back in any way.
Are you listening to me?

What? Yes, you can't hold back.

Whatever I'm thinking,
I'll say it and do it.

Look at me when I'm talking to you.

- Put down your phone.
- You're right, sorry.

Enough, enough.

Just quickly, please, it's urgent!

Let's see what's so urgent
that it can't wait.

A group chat with old high school pals.

- Unmissable!
- "Unmissable!"

You don't understand, Fabrizio
met up with Sabina and told her...

You're obsessed with your exes!
Stop!

You're self-obsessed! This is serious,
Fabrizio blocked me on Facebook.

Just look at you!

You're always on your phone
checking up on your exes.

Know why they all dumped you?
Because they were sick of you.

What are you doing? Stop!

- You're nuts!
- I was trying to tell you that.

And now I'm going for a real walk.

Because I hate the gym,
I only come to please you!

You were better off repressed!

Here's my angel!

Where were you this morning?

Aren't you going to greet my pair?

They'll get upset now.

Hello to your pair!

Fuck you, bitch!

Shit!

- Hi, everything okay? All resolved?
- No, no one answered.

- Come with me.
- Stop!

It's a legend, it only works
with plumbers.

In you go.
The modem's on the left.

They ripped me off,
this hash is underweight.

Relax, it's only my dad's chick.

Seeing that this house belongs
to your dad's chick,

she'd like you to leave right away
before she kicks you out herself.

And when you're in jail,
get your mum to visit,

she's been absent for months.

Because the "chick" will be finally
getting her life back.

I don't follow, who's this chick?

- She's a bitch.
- I prefer the sound of that.

If you want to be Pablo Escobar, do it
elsewhere, this house isn't Medellin.

Isn't the expression
"This house isn't a hotel"?

Renato...

You know what Jacopo and his friend
are doing?

Honey, please, I'm working,
I beg you!

What's up?

Your son's weighing up drugs
to sell them.

Listen to you! You're so dramatic!
He's "weighing up drugs".

They're teenagers, it's a tricky age.
You need to be patient.

Please, let me concentrate.
I was concentrating, please!

I can see that.

But he's your son, not mine.

You should take care of him
before Social Services show up.

Or won't you answer the door
to them either,

because you're too busy painting
these...

These...
Go on, say what you think.

Say it, these...

You have no idea what it takes
to create "these..." as you call them.

No, that's not true.

You've been at it for a year.

When you started, she was laughing.

Listen, you used to be good,
are you lacking inspiration now?

Get a grip and move on.

I get it, I get it...

You're on your period, right?
Gotcha!

My period is as real
as your desire to work.

Stop! Calm down!

You're on the sofa tonight
and tomorrow get out.

And move that wreck from the courtyard,

I've driven miles for four years
to find parking

to make room for your pile of junk.

Don't you dare criticise my 2CV,

it took me to my first exhibition
in Puglia.

And now, please,
can we just calm down?

I'm super calm.

And quit using the royal "we".

Madam, the problem is more serious
than I thought.

It affects the entire building
and the cable in the street.

It's short-circuited.

You'll need to ask the council
for permission first.

Plus this raises another problem.

To fix it, we'll need to interrupt
the service for the entire building.

So basically, when will we have internet?

In about three... or four...

...weeks, and you'll be charged
in your next bill.

It's not free!

But you'll get two days of free
unlimited access to the soccer channel,

excluding the Champions League
and Premier League.

You expect me to pay to fix
your problems? You're joking!

I don't have permission to joke
when I'm on duty.

It's not our problem, the modem
is located inside your house.

Right.

Thank you and goodbye.

- What now?
- There's just one more question.

How would you rate our service
between 1 and 10?

- Hi, Pino.
- Hi, Giulia. What'll you have?

1kg tub: pistachio, hazelnut
and chocolate.

Perfect.

Thanks.

I thought I loved ice-cream
but you're a fanatic!

- I wanted to be an ice-cream maker.
- Really?

What happened?

Other avenues...

Thanks. I love these!

They're called "cat's tongues".

Piergiorgio!

Piergiorgio, you need your medicine,
where are you?

Piergiorgio?

There he is...

Piergiorgio...

Oh, God! I killed him.

Shit!

Honey!

Mummy's back.

You're here! Everything okay?

- Has my darling managed to poo?
- He sure has!

- He's gone...
- Where is he?

- He's actually gone...
- Where is he, Giulia?

He's gone, really.

What's the matter?
Where's Piergiorgio?

He's resting in your bedroom.

Oh, God!

What happened to my darling?
What did you do?

I don't know, I found him like that.

I don't know what happened.

I wasn't able to come earlier.
Why can't I lie?

You couldn't come?
He needed his medicine!

You let him die! How could you?

Today has been a nightmare...

I don't care! You're supposed to be
the responsible, reliable one.

How convenient:
"Giulia will sort it.

Just leave it to Giulia".
You and Raf are peas in a pod.

It's always about you!
Piergiorgio's dead, Giulia!

It's always about me?
You only think of two things.

Yourself and your cat,
who by the way, is not your kid.

- You're just envious.
- Right, I'm envious about...

I know, about your boyfriends,
who are all nuts like you.

You've had hundreds!
Or maybe I'm envious of Piergiorgio?

Know what happened? He killed himself
because he couldn't stand you!

- Oh, God.
- Get out, go on.

- Sorry.
- Get out.

Just shut up, get out.

Get out of this house
and get out of my life too.

Go.

Where are you going?
We're closing!

Sorry.

How are things?

Crap! Things are crap!
There.

- You see?
- Go on.

I can't control my actions
or my words anymore.

Everything's going to pot.

Well...

We have opened up Pandora's box.

- That's a good thing.
- Really?

You don't get it,
I want to stop this tsunami.

I want to go back,
before I ruin everything.

Listen to me.

Your fifth chakra was blocked,
but now...

it's a highway.

Once toothpaste has been squeezed
out of a tube, it can't go back in.

The process you have begun
is irreversible.

So should I stay locked up
or wear a muzzle?

No, that was the old you.

Everything you had inside
was constricted.

And now it's come out.

Once you've overcome this phase
called "pars destruens",

you'll have to face the phase
called "pars...

- Construens?
- Correct.

- Do I keep taking the drops?
- No, no more drops!

Now you need something to help you
to be as-ser-tive.

Breaking it into syllables
doesn't make it simpler!

- What was your name...
- Giulia.

You see, Giulia, now you need to learn
how to use the toothpaste.

You need to stand your ground
without losing control.

Yes, I know, but how?
What do I need to do?

A stone?

Aragonite.

A very powerful energy balancing stone.

It balances emotional states.

Wear it day and night,

and when it's done its job,
it will fall off.

Trust me.

What if I freak out again?

- That's unlikely.
- But what if I do?

Take it out on Rufus.

Who's he?

You can strangle him
without getting arrested.

Can I have a word?

What's up?

- Are you still mad at me?
- No.

You look it.

No, we amoebas are incapable

of getting mad, at most we slip into
your tummy and attack the intestine,

that's all.

That's why I've had a stomach ache
ever since we rowed.

You were pretty unpleasant too.

Understandably...

Anyway...

I'm sorry, it's just that, well...

I'm not going to take things
lying down anymore.

Or try to be something I'm not.

I'm going to say what I think.

I've certainly noticed that.

And no more mixed messages.

Our relationship,
I don't understand it...

- What's there to understand?
- Come on, Ottavio!

We text in the middle of the night.

You're getting married,
I'm breaking up with Raf, it's not normal.

You're breaking up with Raf?

- Is that why you've lost the plot?
- I haven't!

- Well...
- Well, not totally.

You're really breaking up?

Giulia, I'm afraid I can't help
but be pleased to hear that, sorry.

Idiot!

- We have that meeting.
- Yes.

- What'll you do?
- I don't know.

- Lose with honour?
- Why will you lose?

After yesterday...

Actually, I did hear Ludo say:
"I hope that old witch doesn't come".

She said "old witch"?

- She said "witch".
- Did she say "old"?

We'll use an ambush
marketing strategy

with aggressive
and personalized pop ups.

An innovative plan that will set us apart
from our competitors.

We've laid on a buffet,
follow me...

Excuse me, Valerio,
I have a couple of things to say.

- But the buffet...
- I'll be quick.

Firstly I must thank Ludovica.

For offering me this professional
challenge and for being...

the straw that broke the camel's back.
Thank you.

Buffet?

Furthermore, I fear that Ludo's proposal
lacks a crucial element

for our target market.

Meaning?

Talking of real people, how do you say it?
Database marketing.

If we launch a snack
at the start of summer,

we should promote it as

a light snack.

With a low calorie content,
perfect for being beach-body ready.

Something the average girl
worries about.

You mean... like you?

Beach-body ready?

Come on, that's so 2008!

A minute's silence for Giulia
who's a size 12.

And plus, come on...
are we still wasting time with fatties?

With all due respect...

- They're out of the picture!
- This is unacceptable.

They spend their whole lives
wishing they were... me.

Are we still wasting time with fatties?

With all due respect...

They're out of the picture!

They spend their whole lives wishing...

Did you film it?

Are you nuts?

- Did you post it?
- I'm not that much of a bitch.

But I'd love to know
what our clients think about it.

You better delete it.

I don't know.

Maybe I'll put it in the bank.

- I'll kill her.
- Wait!

Hands off!

Move, afro-head!

She started it, right?

Buffet anyone?

Come to my office, please.

I'll clear my desk, don't worry.

You put a spanner in the works
with that video.

But you showed great initiative
and knowledge of our target market,

two essentials skills for this job.

- So you're not firing me?
- No, not yet.

Following Ottavio's input,
the directors and I

have decided to assign you
a new role.

Industrial espionage?

We're reorganizing the marketing sector.

You'll be back in charge
with additional resources, staff...

and a higher salary, of course.

I struggled to say that.

- From rags to riches, basically.
- Yes.

What about Ludo?

I think it would be in our interest
for us to part ways.

What did you mean
by "Ottavio's input"?

He stuck up for you,
in all this mess.

I know you all say he's an amoeba
but he's the only one I really trust.

But don't tell him or he'll want a rise
and I'll be broke.

Go, before I change my mind.

- How come you're here?
- I had the Wi-Fi fixed.

10,000 Mb/s, it's superfast.

And I paid the bills by direct debit.

It's so convenient,
everyone should do it!

Instead of queuing to pay bills
the bank deals with it...

Come.

Come.

- Where's Jacopo?
- In his room.

I didn't want him to spoil
this special moment for us. Come.

Stand here, turn round, okay.

Stay there.

Oh, you added glasses.

FOR MY DEAR GIULIA

Isn't it wonderful?

The painting or that you finished it?

A low calorie option for you.

And I'll have to endure this.

- Looks delicious.
- Yes.

There.

It's good! So good!

Eat, you've been looking a bit chubby
lately, so you can eat that.

Really? Maybe I should start...

going to the gym, yes.

Listen...

I like a guy with a belly,
that's not the problem.

And I appreciate this gesture, really,
but it's too late.

I've made up my mind, end of story.

What do you mean?
Just like that, out of the blue?

I want the old Giulia back.
Who are you?

I don't recognise you.

Which one do you want,
the masochist one?

The one who grins and bears it,
without saying a word?

Yes, I love her, is that bad?
I want her.

You're not a masochist,
you're an altruist.

You're the most generous woman
I know.

I know we're different,
but we complement each other...

Right, I'm an altruist
and you're an egoist.

That's absurd!
This whole thing is absurd!

Do you want to throw it all away
without giving me a second chance?

Are you thinking straight?

Yes.

We'll arrange a time for you to come
and collect your things.

We shared some lovely times
together though.

Yes, we really did.

Well, I will always carry a part of you
with me.

My debit card?

I'm joking.

Jokes aside,
do you still have my debit card?

- No.
- Are you sure?

I don't think so...

- I'll kill myself.
- Come on, Raf!

Dad, let's go,
don't make an ass of yourself.

No wonder people turn to dope.

Fuck you!

Fatebir, what happened?

My God, you're totally plastered.

I don't believe it,
you go to these parties too?

If you can't beat them...

join them.

Yeah, right.

Where's Rocco?

Guys, she looked different online!
They've sent a MILF instead.

- Where's Rocco?
- Where's the Indian guy with the ice?

He's busy,
he's getting castrated by the lift.

He's always wanted that.

Hey babe, while you look for Rocco,
wanna dance?

- You have plenty of girls to ask.
- I've asked them all.

They told me to fuck off.

Okay, fuck off.

Rocco! Listen...

Can you stop this, please?

What's your problem, babe?

It's 4 A.M. and my ceiling's caving in.

You didn't tell me your neighbour's
an escort.

- She's not, she's an insomniac.
- So she's cheaper?

If you can't sleep,
just come and party with us!

I'm not an insomniac and I don't want
to party, I want to sleep.

- Wanna dance?
- I said no.

She said no!

- Where's Fatebir?
- He's getting castrated by the lift.

He's always wanted that!

Let's go watch Fatebir with the lift!

- To the lift!
- Enough!

Stop this now!

Enough!

- Who's she?
- No idea, do you know her?

Never seen her!

Are you nuts?

My moped...

Are you nuts?

Are you on your period?

People can be so rude.

Insomniac freak!

Are you awake?

I annihilated my neighbour...

I'll fill you in tomorrow.

Thanks for your input with Valerio...

you were courageous.

When it comes to snacks
for teenagers...

I'm lionhearted!

Maybe you still think of me
as the old Ottavio...

But I've changed!

I broke up with Raf,
I kicked him out.

I'm sorry.

I let it drag on...

for a long time...

too long...

Tomorrow after work...

fancy a drink?

I'd love that!

Okay, let's sleep now...

What do you say?

Well...

now that you ask...

I don't think I'll be able to sleep!

Look, she's playing the vamp now!

Hi, did you mean me?

I want to report this gentleman
for having all-night parties.

- I just had some colleagues round.
- Every night.

I'm on leave.

And he doesn't have a parking permit.

- Nobody does.
- He's in cahoots with the porter.

Of course, blame us foreigners.
Because we're brown...

Be quiet, please.

Did you make a complaint
about out of hours noise?

- No.
- She didn't.

I told her to tell the building manager.

Did you?

You didn't.
Miss!

How are we supposed to know
if you don't complain?

- I'm on leave, it's my house.
- So what?

It's a free world.

I'm a bank clerk,
I can't afford the Maldives.

And also, her husband's missing...

I'm not married...

- There is no husband!
- A nice man.

Missing.

- He always doing shopping.
- She's an escort too.

Rubbish!
Don't believe the crap they're saying!

Just calm down.

Are you the porter?
Go do your job.

Let's go.

We're inundated with cases
of neighbours' disputes.

- But this is substantial damage.
- 3,000 euros.

My mate'll fix it for 1,000.

- So what happens now?
- I'll ask him.

If the gentleman here files a complaint
you'll need a lawyer.

A lawyer? Me?

He started it!
Now I'm in the wrong?

Did the speaker jump out of the window?

Don't be stupid, it was an accident!

- Check him out!
- Calm down.

Are you insulting a public officer?

They're all...

I know, she's not the first.

Listen, I'm at the end of my tether,

try to understand.

Understand you women?
Do you see a halo on my head?

Yes?

Take my mate's number.

What?

- Thanks, you've been very kind.
- No problem, I'll be in touch.

Come and see me on Monday,
don't forget.

Goodbye.

Since you dumped Raf...

- Go on...
- You're making an effort.

- You men are hopeless!
- No more lectures please!

Listen, you're lucky you're not 18
until next week.

- Or they'd have arrested you.
- Right, for a couple of joints.

- Why did you call me?
- I had to.

My idiot dad wasn't answering his phone,
neither was that bitch of my mum.

I'm telling your dad, but he won't care,
seeing you're his pusher...

Want a lift, where do you live now?

I don't know where Raf lives.

- What about you?
- All over, with friends.

What do you care?

- Sorry, what did you say?
- You don't need to pretend.

Did you ask yourself how I felt
being kicked out,

after 4 years,
like I was my dad's dog?

See you, bye.

Hello, Ludovers,
I'm ready to set sail again!

After three days,
I realised office jobs aren't for me!

I found it way too boring
plus I don't want to bore you guys!

Enjoy life!

Fucking hell!

Happy now?

- Pardon?
- I got fired thanks to you.

You showed me up!

This was my first contract,
who'll hire me now?

- I just wanted to...
- Isn't this what you wanted?

- But you messed up too.
- Shut up, you old witch!

- Hi.
- Your barley coffee!

- Thanks.
- Madam.

So, are we still on?

- For drinks tonight?
- Yes, yes.

- Are you okay?
- He fired Ludo.

- Did you know?
- Of course.

- Aren't you happy?
- I'm not so sure.

- I thought I wanted this...
- You'd rather work for her?

I'd rather not be one of the bad guys.

That's understandable.

But even these situations
have a positive aspect.

- Which is?
- You look lovely today.

- You think so?
- I do.

Is that why you fished out
your killer clown shirt?

- Correct, that's me.
- Right.

- Hi, Giulia.
- Alessandra.

Why won't you answer your phone?

- I keep it on silent at work.
- Don't you read your texts?

Not yet, we were discussing
an important work matter.

We had a meeting with the caterers
fifteen minutes ago.

Shit, I forgot, sorry.
I'll be right with you.

We booked them a month ago,
I'll wait in the car,

come now.
Sorry, Giulia, we're late.

- No problem, bye.
- I'm coming...

So caterers or drinks with me?

Caterers, I imagine.

- You wear the trousers, I see.
- Take no notice, she's nervous.

You know how these things are,
the preparations...

No, I don't know.

Well, in these situations, you women...

Take my advice, don't ever say
"you women" to a woman.

Stupid me for even considering you.

Were you really?

How exactly have you changed?

With the nocturnal liberties you take
on WhatsApp with your ex?

By enjoying the thrill of escapism
before your wedding?

How about we stop exchanging
love heart emojis every night?

It's pathetic.

I should've known. Never trust a man
who can't choose his own shirts!

Bye, Giulia.

Hi.

- What do you want?
- Can we talk?

I know I lost control
and let everything get out of hand.

I said some terrible things.

You said terrible things
or is that what you think?

Well, I wanted to apologize.

Can we move on?

You said I was a sad nutcase

who drives cats to suicide.

I didn't say you were a nutcase.

How kind... you're no good
at apologizing either.

I'm trying to get my life back.

I want to grasp it.

But I...

I'm on my own.

I don't know who to trust,
or what I want,

I don't know who I am, and...

I'm messed up.

Do you know him?

Yes, that's Stefano.

- Steve?
- That's his pseudonym.

You're seeing him?

- Did you see his ad?
- Not only, I went to see him!

And I'm the one with problems?

Ever since I met him,
I don't know what's happened.

I'm unstable,
I'm all over the place.

I noticed.

I'm glad you saw him,
he'll help you.

He too was miserable
before he went to Tibet.

With a useless degree, he was a gas
station attendant and had panic attacks.

- A gas station attendant?
- Wait, stop!

- He's with a patient!
- You're a con man!

Watch out, he's a swindler.

I fell for it too,
he's an ex gas station attendant!

You have the cheek to charge 200 euros!

200, do you realise? What for?

For some drops, a toy and a stone?

I'm reporting you, understood?

If I remember rightly, before coming here,
you were pumped full of medication.

Yes, I know, but it was prescribed
by a proper doctor!

Right, and forgive me...

but you looked like a walking ad
for Tavor.

How's your anxiety now?
You couldn't sleep before.

It's gone, but...

What about the panic attacks?

Listen, do you still expect me
to believe that this crap

actually works?

Truthfully?

In all honesty?

But believing it paid off, right?

That depends.

I keep clashing with everyone I meet.

We can't change others,
but we can try to change ourselves.

How? How do I do that?

I'm still messed up inside, badly.

Do you think change happens overnight?

To get from being a gas station attendant
to this took me 15 years.

You still don't know who you are.

There's a stranger inside you.

Start getting to know her.

Find out what she likes.

In your own time.

Well, I just came by
to say hi to my uncle.

Dealing with people is a tricky job.

Pietro, please,
the lady's feeling fragile,

don't make things worse.
Mind what you say, kid.

Sorry.

I think my sister Bea's
landed on her feet for once.

I've got my eye on you...
Stefano.

What do you want, Giulia?

- Hi, have you seen Valerio?
- He's in his office.

You taste good!

Nice flavour for a snack.

- Should I come back later?
- No, don't, stay.

Let me introduce you,
this is Giulia,

the one I was whispering to you about.

- This is Rosana.
- Rossana.

With one S.

I know, the shorter the better, right?

YouTuber, Facebook, Instagram?

Even better, she's a selfie-coach.

- What role will she have here?
- I've no idea.

There's no need for me to assign her
a label right now.

She'll bring her enthusiasm,
that's what counts.

Welcome to the harem, my dear.

Listen, am I the only woman here
who told you to go screw yourself?

It was years ago, I was different,
I was a kid.

By the way...

I think I've been here far too long.

I'm resigning.

Thanks for the promotion, but
I've realised this isn't the place for me.

Or maybe I just don't fit in here
anymore.

- You're joining the competition?
- I made myself an offer

that I can't refuse.

She's going freelance!

What did she mean by
"welcome to the harem"?

What's a harem?

A harem.

A harem is...
it's what you call a company now.

"Harem" is synonymous with Dubai,
the Arab Emirates, turmeric...

It's very 2021.

Giulia, I forgive you.
I need to talk to you, honey.

Fabrizio went and told Roberto
that basically she...

Go see this guy, then fill me in...

"Holy-stic Counsellor",
but I'm not religious.

What now?

I found him by the bins,
he'd starve to death with me.

Bea, I'm sorry, I...

I know we've never really
worked as a team.

Maybe we can start from today.

Gimme, before he grows attached
and then gets dumped.

Listen, I got the test results back.

Piergiorgio died of a heart attack.

He had a hypo caused by eating
too much sugar.

It wasn't your fault.

With all the other disasters I caused,
at least this...

- Fancy a coffee?
- Yes.

- But no sugar, please.
- Bitch!

Hey, about time!
I was ready to go!

I needed to park my Lamborghini.

Okay...

Useful numbers.

Plumber, electrician...

Don't forget to water the plants.

No smoking.

- Just girls.
- Just girls...

The keys.
Bea also has a set.

- What else...
- The rubbish.

Yes.

Giulia!

You're positively glowing.

Yes, I know.

Come with me.

- Hot wheels!
- Insurance payout. Redundancy pay?

It's my dad's, I dreamed of driving it
but he never let me.

- Now he said: "Go on, you're ready".
- Hot wheels!

- Are you going away?
- Yes, why?

I wanted to invite some friends over.
About 50 of them, no more.

- What happened with the police?
- Oh, the police.

Well, they'll be coming too,
as our guests of honour!

You think you can ruin my wedding
while I keep quiet?

- I don't know what you mean.
- Let me explain.

Here goes.

Surprise!

I noticed you're chatting, Giulia.

Very actively, with plenty of emojis,
especially at night.

- You check his phone.
- Yes, stay away from him.

Stay well away from him,
because I'm a nice girl

but if you go near my boyfriend
I'll kill you.

I don't think I'm the problem.

And keeping him on a leash
isn't good for your relationship.

Are you an expert on relationships?

Tell me, Giulia. What's happened
to your radical chic artist boyfriend?

Where is he? Tell me.

Where Ottavio should send you

instead of sucking up
to the umpteenth insecure girl

who manipulates men to prove
she's worth something.

I don't know what Ottavio sees in you.

Maybe you give great blow-jobs.

Okay, sorry, that was out of order.
Sorry.

No, it's true.

You're right.

I give great blow-jobs,
really great.

But now Ottavio
doesn't want those either.

- I don't know what to do.
- I'm sorry.

Don't touch me, I hate you!

Understood? Idiot!

- Here you are.
- Give me my phone.

Ottavio, will you tell her
that she's wasting her time

because we're getting married
next week?

The fact is that... Giulia opened my eyes.

I won't let anyone rule my life
like you've done till now.

- Okay, but now let's go.
- No.

- Don't make me cross!
- I love Giulia.

I always have been, maybe,
but now I'm sure of it. Understood?

400 guests, Ottavio.

What'll I tell my dad?
He's already paid the deposit!

Don't you two have any manners?
What'll I tell my dad now?

Assholes!

Amoeba!

Don't even look at me!
Drop dead!

Within a week she'll have replaced me.

She might even get her deposit back,
don't worry.

Took you a while, didn't it?

I just like to think about things properly
before I do them.

- Where are you going?
- Away.

Away? Where?

I'll head north, then south,
then who knows!

- When will you be back?
- When I feel ready.

Ottavio, I don't know what I want,
or who I am.

But I don't want a Prince Charming,
and I've always been in a relationship.

So enough now.
I want to be on my own.

Nonsense, no one wants
to be on their own.

You're right.
I want to be with myself.

Will you keep in touch?

Sure, via WhatsApp! Bye!