Calendar Girl (1947) - full transcript

Hey!

Oh!

Well, what a pretty picture.

I wish I'd painted that way.

You're not hurt, are you?

Of all the stupid
elephants I've ever seen,

you two take the cake.

Why can't you look
where you're going?

We were looking
where we were going.

We were just trying to find...

I thought so.



A couple of hayseeds
from New Rochelle.

No, we're not.

We're from Boston.

Hicks.

Look at me.

Just look at me.

We are looking at you.

Look at my hat.

You mussed me all up.

I wouldn't say that.

Look at my hair.
Look at what you've done to it.

Like spun gold.

My dress is all dirty.

More charming than the
latest Parisian fox.



And that's not all.

Your eyes?

Even angry, they put
the stars to shame.

Ah, let her go, Steve.

I'll go in and see if
Ms. Lulu Varden's in.

How did you hear about Lulu
Varden way up in Boston?

Injuns.

They spread it by tom-tom.

They sent up smoke
signals from hill to hill.

Oh, so you're Indian.

Madam, you are at the moment
conversing with maestro Johnny

Bennett, the great young composer.

And with Mr. Stephen
Davis of Chestnut

Hill, the great young artist.

How do you do?

I never heard of you.

Well, nobody ever heard of us.

Ah, but they will.

Our fame will spread
throughout the land.

We'll take New York by storm.

We'll take London.

We'll take Paris.

I'll take a ride.

It's a nice neighborhood.

I think I'm going to like it.

Professor Garabaldi wrote
that you boys were coming.

He said some very nice things
about your music, Mr. Bennett.

Your ears must have
burned from the nice things

he said about you.

Oh, bless his heart.

He's such a darling.

You know, he used
to occupy the very

same studio I've reserved for you.

Are you a composer
too, Mr. Davis?

Me?

I'm too weak to carry a tune.

Steve's an artist.

Oh, the studio has
a fine north light...

just right for an artist.

Well, that's
peachy, Mrs. Varden.

Everyone calls me Lulu.

Everyone calls makes Steve.

I'm Johnny.

Oh, I'm very happy
to know you both.

The price will be
$6 a week, double,

pay your own gas, and no cooking.

Here's a month in advance.

I'll pay you back, Steve, as
soon as I sell my first song.

Um, what kind of
struggling artist are you?

He's a different kind, ma'am.

You see, he's struggling
not to be a banker.

Oh.

You see, Lulu, my old
man is the head of one

of the oldest banking
houses in Boston.

He sort of planned on having
me follow in his footsteps.

Oh, but you always wanted
to be an artist, eh?

Well, not exactly,
but it was one way

of getting to Greenwich
Village to have fun.

Lulu?

Oh, yes, hello Peter.

I didn't get the Belizon account.

I played at a dance last night.

Ah, Peter look at those cuffs.

How do you expect to
get jobs that way?

Here, take this money and
go buy yourself a new shirt.

Well, thanks Lulu.

Oh, Edgar!

How did the audition
for the symphony go?

They turned me down.

Now where are you going?

Oh, I'm not skipping, Lulu.

I was going to... it's a
wonderful violin, worth money.

Mm-hmm, I thought I saw that
pawn shop gleam in your eye.

Don't be silly.

Go back to your room.

How are you going to
audition without it?

I told you, the audition was...

I mean the next audition.

The one where they
won't turn you down.

Thanks, Lulu.

Say, what kind of a
landlady are you, anyhow?

What do you mean?

Well, you're supposed to harangue,

and berate, and
foreclose mortgages...

Cast people out in the snow.

Next week, eat slim.

No, boys, this is a house of
artists... some are singers,

some are writers, and some
are painters, but all artists.

I was one myself.

A great one.

And so you see, without art
we have nothing to live by.

People pay when they can, and
if they can't, well, they're

still artists, and
I still love them

Lulu, you're a very nice girl.

Will you marry me?

I think I'm a little
old for a June bride.

Ask me next January.

Well, here we are.

I had your things
brought up just as

soon as they arrived by express.

And your trunks
are in the bedroom.

Hey.

And here's the piano.

Oh, I do hope it's in tune.

Well, I'll leave you
boys to get settled now.

The laundry's picked
up on Tuesdays,

and the gas meter;s
just outside the door

when the lights go off.

When you leave, the
lights will go off.

And then just slap a
quarter in the meter.

Come right this way,
and I'll show you how.

Put your coin in there.

Now, that will give
you one revolution.

Oh, by the way, Steve-

Yes?

Uh, a young lady telephoned
you, a Miss Radford.

She wants you to call just
as soon as you arrive.

Her number's on the
telephone pad downstairs.

Well, thanks, Lulu.

You don't waste much time, do you?

Oh, life's too
short to waste time.

Keep beautiful.

Steve, is Olivia here in town?

I'm bringing her in.

Hey, that's swell.

Yeah?

What's swell about it?

Well, you're in love
with her, aren't you?

She's your fiancee.

Sure, sure.

Now, don't get me wrong.

Olivia's a great girl, and
she'll be a wonderful wife.

But this isn't Boston.

This is Gotham, served up on the
half shell at Bryson Webber's.

This is the land of wild
oats and Greenwich Village

and beautiful women, and I don't
want any of Boston's things

tying me down.

Hello, Tab.

Hello, Molly.

Better not let your
father catch you.

Well, well, young
ladies, let's begin.

Everyone start with their hands
positioned in the middle zone.

Number one, the palms apart.

Number two, the palms forward.

Number three, the palms vertical.

Tessie, dear, the
palms vertical should

be raised in gentle terror.

Remember as you move into the
move that you are with a cad.

A cad?

A nefarious scoundrel whose
intentions are not honorable.

I'm sure Byron's intentions
were honorable, Lulu.

Who?

She means Byron Jones.

He's always making the
palms vertical to me.

But suppose Byron
weren't out with you.

I should like to see
him out with anyone else.

We're practically engaged.

Does he know it?

Come, come, come.

Now, girls, come,
let's try it again.

Patricia, Patricia, now how
many times have I told you,

you should be weak and
wilting and sullen,

as if the very air around
you were charged with sorry.

But that's namby-pamby.

I'm not afraid of anything.

My dear, do you wish to be a star?

A great star?

Or do you wish to
discuss the championship

with Mr. James J. Jeffries?

Now, that's more like a lady.

A lady.

Patricia, life is a book
of etiquette and rules.

You're born a girl, but you
have to learn to be a lady.

Girls may be attractive
to boys, but only a lady

will attract gentlemen, and
only gentlemen are rich.

You know those two new boys
that are staying with me?

Uh-huh.

Suppose one of them
were a millionaire.

Suppose one of them was a
Boston banker incognito.

Then he'd be in
Boston being a banker.

Oh no, you're wrong.

He might be right here,
learning to arrange or compose.

As a matter of fact, my
dear, he is right here.

Swell light on this end.

How about you?

Fine.

This window looks out on
somebody's roof terrace.

This one looks up at heaven.

Hey, take it easy.

You could pickle onions
on that kind of music.

Can't seem to get this tune.

Nice, quiet place.

One, two, three, four.

Three, two, three, four.

Faint, lower the body down.

I can hear the little bird.

One, two, three, four.

Retreat.

Keep the palms vertical.

Scared two, three, four.

Delight.

Expressive visible face,
your gift to the whole world.

Three, two, three, four.

Hey, Steve, come and
take a look at this.

That little goat we
locked horns with.

Time is right for romancing.

The starry light shines above.

Lovely night to go
dancing, but it's

a much better night
to fall in love.

Patricia O'Neill,
come in out of there!

Oh my gosh.

I thought that song was original.

Yeah, so did I. Hey you.

Who me?

I want to see you.

You do?

Right away.

I'll come right over.

Hiya.

Who are you?

What's your name.

I'm Byron Jones.

Yeah, I'm a poet.

You're a card.

No, a bard.

I'm one of the bards at
Greg's greeting cards.

I write verses for birthdays
and Christmas and all that.

You know, like, "roses are red.

I send them to you,
just to say on this day,

'I'll always be true.'"

Hey, look I'm Johnny Bennett.

This is Steve Davis.

Look, where'd you
here my tune before?

Oh, I never heard it before.

Well, but you sang words to it.

I made 'em up.

Just like that?

Sure.

I can write poems faster
than you can write music.

You can, huh?

Uh-huh.

Well, we'll see about that.

OK.

Now we'll see how good you are.

June.

Moon.

Tune.

Croon.

Broom.

Goon.

Loom.

Spitoon.

Vanilla.

That's a

Hey, you know you're
pretty intelligent.

Not only that, but I'm smart too.

I'm the only guy in the
world that can rhyme orange.

Orange?

Yeah.

Orange.

Hey, that is a tough one.

How do you rhyme orange?

Oh no you don't.

If I told you I wouldn't be the
only guy in the world anymore.

Look, I'm writing
tunes and I need words.

What do you say we team up, Byron?

Leave us get working,
and keep the muse perking.

I'll bet that's Eddie.

Come in.

Hi, Eddie.

Come on in.

Hey, fellas, this is Eddie Gaskin.

How are you?

I'll bet Lewis sent you up
here to invite the fellas

to that shindig down
at the restaurant.

Do you usually ride that
nag all over the third floor?

Oh, that's just a model.

He's an artist.

He lives right across the hall.

Interesting.

You sell your stuff?

He sure does.

He's got pictures all over the
country in all the best places.

Where?

He's hanging in every pool,
saloon, livery stable...

All the best places.

They are for his pictures.

What kind of pictures do you do?

He does calendars.

Oh, girls.

No, cows.

Cows?

That's all, just
cows... contented cows,

discontented cows,
blue cows, moo cows.

He's the bovine Botticelli.

Well, how'd you
happen to pick on cows?

He's a little cow-happy.

He painted a picture
of Pat O'Neill once.

Boy, was she mad.

What happened.

Nothing much really.

She turned out kind of pretty.

Except for the horns.

You're in a bad way.

He can't look a bottle of
milk in the face anymore.

They're trying to
graduate him to horses.

Calendar... seems like
a good way to break in.

Might try it myself.

Just go see Mr. Ward.

He's the president of
Calendars, Incorporated.

Maybe he'll give you a job.

But I don't know him.

Oh.

Well, he does.

He'll take you down
tomorrow and introduce you.

Thanks, Eddie!

You're a thoroughbred.

Don't forget to call Olivia.

I'll pay her a quick
visit on the telephone,

and then we'll settle down
to a life of art and fame.

Hello?

Hello,
Olivia, how are you, darling?

I'm just fine, darling.

Uh, how long are you
going to be in New York?

Don't sound so worried.

I'm going back to Boston tonight.

Oh, that's too bad.

Doesn't give me any
time to see you.

You cam see me,
Steve, night and day

for the rest of your
life simply by going back

to Boston with me to our wedding.

Oh, but I can't, darling.

You know I want to, but I've
got to have a trial by heart.

Don't play Rembrandt
with me, Steve.

Rembrandt?

We've been through
this artist thing

before... you had to
go to Paris, remember?

When the girls caught on to you
there, you had to go to London.

When the ladies
there got your number

you came running back to Boston.

Oh, really, Livvy,
that's not fair.

It certainly isn't.

And now it's Greenwich Village.

Well, this is the last time you're

going to break out the
plow to sew your wild oats.

I'll be patient for
three weeks, no more.

Paint fast, young man.

But three weeks is all...
three weeks is all I'll need.

Three weeks is all you'll get.

Come back to Boston to be
a banker and a husband.

Shall we have team.

Well, I'm pretty busy.

If you'd rather not.

Oh, sure, sure, Livvy
I'll meet you for tea.

Four o'clock at Rector's?

Four o'clock.

You're the most wonderful
girl I've ever known.

I'd rather be the only one.

Goodbye.

Women.

That's what I said, women.

In her bonnet of blue
what a picture she'd make.

No.

Play it.

In her bonnet of blue
what a picture she made.

She was the belle of
the bucket brigade.

Come in.

Hello, Pat.

Hello.

Hiya, Pat.

This is Johnny Bennett,
Patricia O'Neill.

We just call her Pat.

We've already met in a way.

Lulu sent up some tea for you.

Oh boy!

Not for you, Byron.

This is strictly a
Boston tea party.

Oh, I can take a hint.

A house doesn't
have to fall on me.

Well, a house will
if you don't hurry.

Tessie's waiting
for you downstairs.

Oh.

Uh, where's, you
know, the other one?

Steve?

He's not back yet.

Oh.

Well, you don't have
to look so disappointed.

I'm not.

I didn't mean that.

Then you'll have tea with me.

I'd love to.

How do you like your tea?

Lemon and one sugar.

I saw you dance out
there on the roof.

You were pretty good.

Thank you.

You were really wonderful.

Although I can't say
things like that.

It makes me blush.

I'm a shy guy.

Where'd you learn
to dance like that?

Oh, it was easy to dance to
the music you were playing.

What was it?

One of my tunes.

It's beautiful.

It was the song I
could never finish.

I was stuck with it until
I saw you start to dance,

and then it just kind of
flowed out like champagne.

You're about as
shy as a brass band.

Oh, don't get me wrong.

I really am... what I mean is...

What you mean is you like me.

Well, that doesn't sound
strong enough, but on account

of I'm shy, I'll settle for it.

Anyway, thanks a lot.

What for?

Well, for letting me in
your life, for being here,

a part of Greenwich
Village in New York.

What I can't figure out is how you

can like leaving a
palatial mansion in Boston

and coming to a grubby place
like Greenwich Village.

Wait a second, I think
you've got something wrong.

I haven't any palatial
mansion in Boston.

I haven't got but a
dollar to my name.

Then it's Mr. Davis.

Oh, Steve.

Yeah, he's quite
wealthy... banking family,

very sophisticated, been
to Europe, London, Paris.

Don't you worry.

Some day when you've written
your songs you'll be rich too.

I'm not worried.

I don't even care.

You don't care?

No.

Don't you want to
be rich and famous?

Well, if it goes with being happy.

You see, all my life,
ever since I was a kid,

I've been full of music.

Before I even knew
what to do about it,

I had songs in my head.

I used to hear them
playing at night

with a full orchestra
when I'd go to sleep.

And even then with a kazoo or an
ocarina, when I was old enough,

I'd play these tunes
out until my mother

didn't know what to do with me.

Now, this is wonderful... a piano
like this to play to my heart's

content, to write out some
of these melodies that

have been inside me.

I could sit here and
touch these ivory keys,

look up at the stars at
night through this window,

and they'll become my orchestra,
playing with me... with all

the strings and horns and
harps of heaven joined

in a strange, wonderful symphony.

That's beautiful, Mr. Bennett.

You're beautiful, Pat.

Thank you.

Call me Johnny.

I was just going to.

Do you know what's happened
to me since I saw you?

What?

Pulse fast, lump in the
throat, hot and cold flashes.

Maybe you've got the measles.

Yeah, maybe I...

Yes?

Say, I've got to write a
jingle for the party tonight.

Byron likes these lyrics,
will you help me with it?

Sure I will.

We've got to impress Dilly.

I met an old flame at
the Fireman's Ball.

How does it go?

Well, that's what I want to know.

Like this.

That's good.

Do it again.

Oh, I met an old
dame at the Fireman's Ball.

She was so charming,
so dainty and small,

by the old hook and ladder
she hooked me right in.

I felt her mischief begin.

When she gave me the eye
how the sparks began to fly.

Now my heart is on fire.

When she's in my arms I can
hear nothing but fire alarms,

and it's thrilling to think
she was willing to fall

that night at the Fireman's Ball.

In her bonnet of
blue what a picture she made.

She was the belle of
the bucket brigade.

And she looked so demure
by the old fire hose

I simply had to propose.

How my heart seems to pound
as I waltzed around and round.

By the fifth time I kissed
her, I heard people call...

Why don't you two
go and hire a hall?

So we left for
Niagara that very same

night after the Fireman's Ball.

In his bright
red suspenders he said,

oh, you kid.

What did I do?

Well, you know what I did.

I fell hook, line, and
sinker for that so-and-so.

How was a young girl to know?

Oh, I thought he was
too-loo-too-loo with

his what he's free to do.

He gave me the hot foot,
and I should have learned.

I played with fire,
and boy I got burned.

But if you want the
truth on my knees

I would crawl back to
the Fireman's Ball.

There was Patsy,

Old' Marie,

O'Toole.

All of them
trying to win her away.

But those visiting
firemen hadn't a chance.

She never gave them a glance.

She had eyes just for me.

Just the way it ought to be.

Oh the mercies of heaven above.

Honest American men.

The guy who
walked off with the belle

of the ball down at
the Fireman's Ball.

Whoa.

It never ever
would have happen if she

hadn't happened to
be standing there.

She was such a lovely
creature I could

see just such a
lovely love affair.

Then the band began
to play the melody, I said,

would you consider
dancing with me.

She was all a-twitter,
but he didn't disagree.

How my heart seemed to pound.

As I waltzed around and 'round.

Then I slipped a
ring upon her finger and we

went to linger
underneath the moon.

I could see that we were
heading for an early wedding

in the month of June.

They'll have a lot
of little places.

We'll be singing praises
as we bring them all.

Back to the Fireman's Ball.

Back to the Fireman's Ball.

Very good, Lulu.

Very good indeed.

Didn't I tell you I met
some interesting folk today?

Uh, that one there, the one
with the little, blue hat.

Patricia, you mean.

She's very attractive.

I'll have to keep my eyes on her.

You better keep your eyes off her,

or else I'll knock them
out of their sockets.

And what business is
it of yours, may I ask?

That colleen happens
to be my daughter.

That's what business it is.

If I catch you filling
her foolish head

with foolish notions...

Are you implying that I...

No, no, Dilly.

He means the theater.

Well, what's foolish
about the theater?

The theater, huh?

Why, that's only for
show-offs and brazen women,

and no decent place for any
self-respecting man or woman.

I'm in the theater, Matt.

Ah, but... but
you're the exception.

But I still say...

Oh, you say.

You say.

And I suppose it's better
for the self-respecting

to sit around a fire
station all day,

just waiting for an alarm
to ring... just sitting there

hoping that somebody's
house will be burned down,

and then licking your chops
that somebody's going to be

toasted rare,
medium, or well-done.

Hey man, I save lives.

And we in the theater save souls.

Boys, boys, boys, don't
spoil your appetite.

Look the food is coming.

And for you, Matt, darling,
corned beef and cabbage.

Corned beef and... oh my dear.

Oh my word.

What an awful combination.

Oh, Dilly, darling,
try it just once.

I wouldn't mind trying it once,
but it keeps repeating itself.

All right, boys.

So how do you like New York?

Not as much as Boston.

Oh, is that so?

Well, you have no
Statue of Liberty.

No, but we have the cradle
of liberty... Faneuil Hall.

Ah, you have no palisades.

Bunker Hill.

Trinity Church.

Old North Church.

Grant's Tomb.

Paul Revere.

You win.

You forgot the one natural beauty

that makes Boston a wilderness
and New York a shining city.

And what's that?

You.

New York is a nice place to visit.

Yes, it has quite
a future they say.

It's Fifth
Avenue, Mr. Chauncey Depew...

And the street
that is known as Broadway.

New York has a glamour.

What is it that
makes every stranger so gay?

New York is a nice place to visit.

But it's also
a nice place to stay.

New York has
its own bonnie pastures

where Astors and Vanderbilts call.

It's got diamonds,

and gravy and roast beef all day.

It's even got Carnegie Hall.

It's dowdy and bawdy and gaudy.

And people from Brooklyn may say.

New York is a nice place to visit.

But we say
it's a nice place to stay.

New York is a nice place to visit,

but we say is a
nice place to stay.

Oh, darling, I want you
to meet Mr. Dillingsworth.

Dilly, this is the young man I
was telling you about... the one

Professor Garabaldi
sent down from Boston.

Mr. Bennett, Mr. Dillingsworth.

Glad to know you, Mr. Bennet.

Glad to know you, sir.

He's a composer,
darling... a pupil

of Garabaldi's who's
very promising.

I want you to listen to his tune.

Young man, it was
nice knowing you.

Good night.

Oh, he'll
listen to your tunes, darling.

Really, Lulu?

Tunes, darling.

Tunes.

What's wrong with tunes?

They give me dyspepsia.

"Babes in Toyland"
didn't give you dyspepsia.

Oh, but that was Victor Herbert.

His music is immortal.

And profitable.

Mr. Dillingsworth...

Young man, young man, I'll
give you some advice for free.

Yes, sir?

Stop writing tunes.

Go back to your first love...
driving a beer wagon, or bank

clerking, or whatever it was,
and live out your life happily.

And if I don't?

Then poor Dilly will just
have to listen to your tunes.

Very well, Mr. Bennett,
when you have a score...

a complete score... I'll do you
the honor of listening to it.

I'll try and give you the
pleasure of hearing it, sir.

Now that I've had a sample,
how about each and every dance?

Do you always sample
everything first?

I'd like to sample crepe Suzettes

with you alone at Maxine's.

You'll be too busy painting.

Every artist has to
have his inspiration.

Da Vinci had his Mona
Lisa, Goya his Duchess.

And Whistler his mother.

Seriously, Pat, you're
just the model I want.

The moment I saw you
dancing on the roof

I knew I had to paint you.

Uh, you haven't met my father.

I don't want him to pose.

Well, he doesn't want me to pose.

If he heard you asking,
he'd knock your block off.

Listen, Pat, Eddie tells
me that his calendar company

is having a contest...
a calendar contest.

Calendars?

Sure, they want something
new, something fresh,

something different.

And there's a $500 prize
for the best picture.

500 smackers?

Pose for me, and if
I win, it's all yours.

500... gee, I could get
Pop that sterling silver

speaking trumpet
he's wanted so long.

Then you'll do it?

Uh-huh.

But mum is the word.

Byron?

Mm-hmm?

If you don't hold me closer, I'll

get hoarse shouting all
the way over there to you.

Oh, I can hear you fine.

Byron, you're so cold.

I am?

Hold me tighter.

Like this.

Please!

Not in public, Tessie!

Everybody here got their
tickets for the jamboree?

What jamboree?

You mean you haven't heard
about the fireman's benefit

jamboree at the Swiss Garden
the night of June the 30th?

No.

Beer, Dutch lunch, maybe
a moonlight stroll with

your best girl, or
somebody else's.

I'll take two.

Two girls?

No, two ticket.

How much are they?

A buck each.

I'm a little short.

I'll take one now and pick
the other one up later.

Sure, sure.

Shall we dance, my dear?

I'm warning you.

Keep that silly Dilly
away from me daughter.

Do you want her to be
an ignorant Irishman

like yourself?

Well, that's better than
being no Irishman at all.

Oh, Matt, she needs grooming.

You can't grow her up
to be a fire chief.

Matt, he's here.

Who's here?

Old Smothers brought
himself, Fullham, and Olsen,

What?!

Now Matt, take it easy.

Olsen, you spying snake,
what are you doing here?

Good
evening, Mr. O'Neill.

I just dropped by to vish you.

"Vish" me bad,
well the same to you.

And if you were as
good at fighting fires

as you are at passing
insults, you'd

be the battalion chief by now.

Now, now, O'Neill,
you'll get a stroke.

Men your age shouldn't
get so excited.

You know I can not be battalion
chief until my engine company

number 18 wins the
efficiency trophy.

Oh get out of here,
and stop spying

on better engine companies
than your own miserable crew

of arsonists.

As a matter of fact, is
your company, O'Neill... you

and I may be tied on
our efficiency record?

So?

I thought, if you'd have it,
we might just settle the issue

at the jamboree with a contest.

Contest?

Why, I'll wrestle you.

I'll fight you.

I'll drink you under the
table or anything else

you like to name.

A tug of war, maybe.

Tug of war, is it?

Well, how can you tug
of war at the jamboree?

Well, why not?

But, do you mean on the dance
floor of the Swiss Gardens?

We use their regulation sneakers.

Oh, sneakers is it?

Did you hear that men?

A tug of war, he says.

Agreed, Olsen.

Agreed.

And we'll pull your
scrawny little team,

clean over into the East River.

Tug of war... and Engine Company
24 the champions of the city.

Why it's crazy.

It's crazy.

I smell a rat, Matthew.

You do?

Well, he's not a very smart one.

Let's see, uh,
I'm in love with a calendar

girl every day of ev... every day
of every month of every year.

If you want to buy your
dad that silver trumpet,

you'd better sit still.

Da-da-da- dee-dee-dee-I love you.

Have I told you lately I love you?

Beautiful.

Yeah, that'll work.

Let's have some pretzels and beer.

Strike up a song of good cheer,
when the glasses are clinking

the... what rhymes with clinking?

Uh, winking.

Winking.

When the star eye
is winking and clinking and...

There.

What do you think of it?

I think it's just
beautiful, Steve.

Boy, if it's pretty paintings
they want on their calendars,

that's it.

That's great, Steve.
That's great.

If I had more time,
I'd rave about it.

But I've got an appointment
with Mr. Charles Dillingsworth

to play my score.

For the love of Mike,
Byron, where's the roll?

Underneath your arm.

Don't be so nervous.

Oh, we've got to hurry
or we'll never make it.

Oh, Pat?

Yes, Johnny?

Aren't you going to
wish me good luck?

You bet I am.

Oh!

I gotta get my hat.

I'll meet you outside.

This is better than wishing
you good luck, Johnny.

It's my Saint Cecilia medal.

Thanks, Pat.

I can't lose now.

Johnny, Johnny, go on.

Go on!

You're late now.

Goodbye, Pat.

Bye, Johnny.

And now, what are you going
to give me for good luck?

Golly, Steve, I don't know.

I'll tell you what.

What?

Celebrate the finishing
of the picture with me.

When?

Tonight.

Bryson Weber's... champagne caviar,

lobster, and you and me.

But tonight's the firemen's
jamboree at the Swiss Gardens.

Anybody taking you?

Well, not exactly,
I think Johnny said...

Then you're going with me.

Patricia!

Coming, Lulu.

Your father's lunch is ready.

Oh my gosh, Pop's lunch.

I almost forgot.

He'll be such.

Goodbye, Steve.

See you tonight.

Hello, Eddie.

Did you finish the horse?

You're in a rut, kid.

Come on, tell me what
you think of mine.

There you are.

Don't like my masterpiece, eh?

Old stuff, eh?

Nothing unusual,
nothing different.

To tell you the truth,
old Eddie, old boy,

I haven't quite finished
this little job as yet.

I still have, shall we say, some
unusual touches to put into it.

You know what the Italian people
said... something different,

something daring, something that
makes the people's eyes pop.

Hi, kid, did you see Dilly?

Yeah, after a five-hour wait.

How'd it go?

I don't know.

He just kept swallowing pills.

He didn't say.

How about you?

Oh, the calendar's been submitted.

It's gone in.

What are you all dressed up for?

I, my boy, am going out.

Where?

On the town... an hour at the
Swiss Gardens, then carriages,

Churchill's, I'm
going to show her all of them.

Olivia, you mean?

Olivia I don't mean.

I'm presenting Miss
Patricia O'Neill to New York

in a champagne night to celebrate

the finishing of my picture.

Who knows what wonderful
things may happen.

To Pat or to the picture?

Both.

I'd love to have you
along John, boy, but you

know the old adage...
two's company,

and three isn't even a quartet.

Wait a second.

What?

Steve, I don't like this.

Write a letter to The Time.

Well, that's not funny.

Pat's a nice girl...
a very nice girl.

To put it mildly, she's a dish.

But she needs to
be told about life.

She needs to be told about Olivia.

You better keep your
nose out of my business.

Yeah, but Pat is my business,
and I don't like you going out

with her when you're
engaged to Olivia.

Johnny, how could
you think... Look

a fella can change his mind.

It would be better if
you made up your mind.

You wouldn't be
jealous, would you?

You bet I would.

Too bad, too bad.

Isn't it a shame
that Pat prefers me.

You know, I'd make any sacrifice
for you, but c'est la vie,

c'est la guerre.

And now, if you'll excuse
me, I'll be walking alone.

Alone?

Or may I go with you, Steve?

Ha ha, Olivia...
I'm glad to see you!

Hello, Johnny, you seem
to be happier to see me

than Steve is.

I was never so glad to
see anybody in my life.

Thank you.

I hope I haven't interrupted
any important plans, Johnny.

Who me?

I'm delighted you came, darling.

Here I was going out all
alone, and you arrived.

Won't you join us, Johnny?

I'd love to.

Oh no, no.

He can't I mean, he has a date.

You're going out with
Pat, aren't you Johnny?

Huh?

You're going out with
Pat to the jamboree.

Oh, Pat, boy we have a date.

We were supposed to go...
we're probably going to...

The Swiss Gardens.

Uh, yeah, I think
that's what she said.

Oh I almost forgot to
give you the $5 I owe you.

Well, I'm sure Pat's waiting
for you, isn't she Johnny?

Oh sure, I'm sure she's waiting.

You'll excuse me, Olivia?

Oh, yes, Johnny.

Have a good time.

We always have a good time.

Goodbye, Johnny.

Shall we go see if we
have my aunt's carriage?

Oh, that's wonderful,
simply wonderful, darling.

So good to see you again,
and what a surprise.

Why didn't you let me
know you were coming?

I prefer to steal up
on my prey and catch

the critter dead to rights.

What do you mean, Livvy?

I think you know what I mean.

Where are you taking me?

Delmonico's

I want to be Bohemian,
let's go to the place

where Johnny's going.

Oh no!

Johnny might be embarrassed.

Johnny or you?

Well, what have I
got to do with it?

Who is this girl Pat?

Patricia O'Neill.

What's she like?

Well, she's... she's not
your type, naturally.

She's just a...

An ordinary girl?

Well, yes.

She's...

The quiet type?

Not exactly.

But, uh...

Beautiful?

Not exactly.

But, uh...

Talented, perhaps?

Not exactly.

But, uh...

What does she do?

Well, she... she's just a girl!

An artist's model, maybe?

She has been posing lately.

Not for you by any chance?

Well, yes.

Oh, I'm most anxious to meet her.

I don't remember
where Johnny went.

There are 100 beer
gardens in New York.

Oh, I do... the Swiss Gardens.

Let's have some porridge and

Yeah, sure.

Everybody having good time.

There's O'Neill.

You better go easy
on that beer, O'Neill.

Go away, you little pipsqueak,
or I'll me stein.

And don't... Good luck.

He's right about that beer, Matt.

You may have a tug of war tonight.

I can drink a barrel
of beer and still pull

the little squarehead and the
whole of his company right

off their legs with one hand.

But Johnny, I still
don't understand

what happened to Steve.

In a minute you're going
to hurt my feelings.

Well that would be
very silly of you.

I can't think of anyone I'd
rather be with than you,

but I still don't
see why he didn't...

Oh, well I'm a lucky guy, Pat.

You see, a friend blew in
from Boston, and Steve had to,

well, you know.

It was very nice if
you to take me instead.

Oh, I didn't want to.

I fought against the whole thing.

Steve, I said, now why should
I take out the most beautiful,

the most wonderful girl in New
York, when I could stay home

alone in the attic
and play dominoes.

I finally I gave in.

Waiter.

Pat, Johnny!

Gosh, are you a surprise?

For the love of Mike.

Hello, everybody.

Hello.

I work here too.

There goes my tips.

So this is where you learned
to rhyme beer with cheer.

What are you doing here?

Verse has gone from bad to worse.

So you're a waiter?

Yeah, Tessie's a
pretzel girl... just

for a couple hours at night.

A fella has to live, you know?

Not bad.

Pay and tips.

Picking up a story
once in a while.

Will there be beer?

Yeah, I'll have a beer.

Make mine a ginger beer.

OK.

But Byron, put it in a
real beer stein, you know?

And don't go away.

I got a surprise for you.

Well, come on, Tessie.

What do you suppose he's up to?

No telling.

Have I told you lately I love you?

Have I told you I care?

That's one of your songs!

Byron's not only a waiter,
he's a song plugger.

I may be blinded
by all of your charms,

grow absentminded when
you're in my arms.

Have I told you
lately you thrill me?

Have I overlooked it somehow?

Have I told you lately I love you?

If I haven't I'm telling you now.

Have I told you lately I love you?

Have I told you lately I care?

I may be blinded by
all of your charms,

grow absentminded when
you're in my arms.

Have I told you
lately you thrill me?

Have I overlooked it somehow?

Have I told you lately I love you?

If I haven't, I'm telling you now.

Have I told you lately I love you?

Have I told you lately I care?

I may be blinded by
all of your charms,

grow absentminded
when your in my arms.

Have I told you
lately you thrill me?

Have I overlooked it somehow?

Have I told you lately I love you?

If I haven't, I'm telling you now.

Olivia!

For gosh sakes, what
are you doing here?

Steve!

Hello, Pat.

Uh, Olivia Radford,
Patricia O'Neill.

How do you do?

Hello.

Do you mind if we join you?

Oh no, please do.

Yes, please do.

Thank you, Johnny.

Miss Radford is from Boston.

Oh really?

You're sure you don't
mind our joining you?

Oh, of course not.

We're glad to have you.

What a surprise, huh, Pat?

Yes, I should say so.

Steve, she's really beautiful,
you didn't do her justice.

My dear, you've
been underestimated.

Sometimes I think
men don't like women.

Maybe I'm not their type.

I'm sure you're Steve's type.

How about a beer?

Would you have a beer?

I'll have a beer, please.

Olivia?

I'll have a ginger beer
and a dance with Johnny.

I only handle the
refreshment side, lady.

You'll have to make the
other arrangements yourself.

Come on, Johnny, darling?

Who me?

Yes, I want to speak to you alone.

Excuse me.

Say what's the idea of nailing me?

Am I that hard to take?

Not at all.

You're already taken.

What about that girl Pat?

Isn't she wonderful?

That's what I'm afraid of.

Remember, Livvy,
you used to tell me

that some day when the
right girl'd come along I'd

start sending up skyrockets
and get absentminded?

I remember.

Well, last night I put out
the clock and wound up the cat.

Don't tell me that for once in
his life Steve told the truth.

If he said I was stuck
on Pat, he sure did.

Oh, Johnny, that's grand.

I'm so happy for you.

You don't know how
happy it makes me.

Your lady friend
from Boston certainly

doesn't let any dust
settle on her feet.

Oh, Olivia has always
rather had her own way.

Is Johnny part of her own way?

I don't know what you mean.

How long has he known her?

Oh, they're old, old friends.

What kind of friends.

Well, you know.

You men.

You needn't cover up for him.

Some men just like
to play the field.

Oh, now look here.

I didn't say...

She's very beautiful, isn't she?

Yes.

Takes after my
mother's side, I'd say.

Your mother's?

Are you related?

Cousins.

Oh, but don't mention it.

We never talked about it.

It's a tiresome idea.

But I thought... Steve, I
have a confession to make.

I thought you stood me up.

Why I wouldn't do
anything like that to you.

I just had to... you know.

Yes, I know.

Relatives.

It's a lovely night to go dancing.

Why waste it?

It's a lovely night
for a moonlight stroll.

Come on.

Well, isn't this much
nicer than dancing...

moonlight and the girl you love.

Johnny says you go for the girls,

and the girls sure go for you.

All the girls in my life for you,

and all nights for tonight.

You kissed the Blarney Stone.

But it really is a lovely night.

This was meant to be our
night, until it got spoiled.

If only Olivia hadn't come.

Johnny was glad enough to see her.

Anyway you and I will have
another lovely night together,

just the two of us,
without anyone spoiling it,

and only the stars for company.

Please don't.

Pat, this is the only
moment of our evening.

Don't waste it.

I give
you the mayor of New York City.

Hey, wait a second.

It's the mayor.

Well, what do you
care about the mayor?

But it's the duty of
every city-wide citizen

to listen to the mayor.

Besides, there's
an election coming.

But women can't vote.

...to be here with you tonight,

in the intrepid company.

Steve.

Oh, hello, Livvy.

I've changed my mind.

We're going to Delmonico's.

Oh, but we can't just
walk out on the mayor.

He isn't the mayor of Boston.

Good night.

Good night, Livvy.

The fine records of
two fire companies.

There's something wrong.

I can feel it in me feet.

Number 24, under Foreman
O'Neill and Number 18

under Foreman Olsen are so
matched that we could not

pick either one to win
the efficiency trophy.

So we shall let Foreman O'Neill
and Foreman Olsen settle it

between themselves
by tossing a coin.

Do you have a coin?

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

If you gentleman will
step forward, please.

Wait a second, your honor.

Tossing the coin is not
a content, just luck.

We've agreed to settle it
by tug of war, your honor.

Done.

Square away your teams.

My mistake.

All right, coats off, boys.

Good luck, Pop.

Know anybody who wants
to bet against your dad?

Loves me.

Loves me not.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

Can't a guy make up his mind?

That's what I want to know.

He love me.

He loves me not.

He loves me.

Oh, Byron!

It took you so long
to make up your mind.

Hey, take it easy.

When I'm with you, I get
feeling all peculiar.

My hearts starts pounding,
and my pulse runs wild,

and my blood runs hot,
and I get feverish.

Gee, you ought to see a doctor.

And then I start to tingle,
and I have bells in my ears.

Fire bells?

Wedding bells for you and for me.

Oh Byron, I thought
you'd never ask me.

He's forgotten 24 Company
has never lost a tug of war

since I been foreman.

Hey, look!

Come on, you fellas, take

Who wants to

Hey, wait a minute.

Who are these three elephants?

You mean Jorden,
Jadsen, and Jorgenson?

I don't care how you "jorn" them.

They're ringers.

Regular, signed-up
members of my company.

Since when?

Since yesterday.

Commisioner, I object!

I'm sorry O'Neill, but
they have passed all tests.

All right.

Right.

The first team to pull that
handkerchief to its own marker

wins.

Get really.

Go!

Oh, there goes me $166.

Oh, father, father, you won!

The winner and our next battalion

chief, Foreman Matt O'Neill.

Congratulate me Olsen.

The best man one.

Best man my foot.

Just remember my first piece
of business as battalion chief,

I want to see those
three elephants go

up and down the extension ladder.

Beer for everybody!

Come on!

Byron!

What happened to you?

We're engaged.

Well, congratulations.

Well, I must be leaving you now.

Oh, but it's so cool and
lovely on the terrace.

Let's sit above it.

Ah, but it's past me bedtime.

I'm beginning to think
you don't like me, Matt.

Oh, why would you be saying that?

Well, why did you have to drag
me home and away from the party

so early.

Me feet was killing me, Lulu.

Are you saying that you're
getting too old for parties?

I never said anything of the kind.

I just said me feet
hurt me, that's all.

And I was about to
say goodnight to you.

You know, I've had such
a lovely time at the party

that you can kiss me goodnight.

Come on, right here, hm?

Well maybe it is just as
well that we came home.

Give Pat a chance to get out
from under your eagle eye.

Yes.

Good night.

What did you say?

You know, it's quite possible
that one of these days Patricia

is going to get married.

She is not.

Matthew, you may as well
get used to the fact

that you may lose Pat.

Lose her?

Over me dead body.

You're dead body won't
help if she's in love.

Love.

That's a lot of nonsense.

I'd like to see the scallywag that

would put such a silly
idea into her head.

I'd knock the stuffing out of him.

You couldn't knock the
stuffing out of love.

Oh, don't be saying that Lulu.

She wouldn't do that.

She wouldn't do that and leave
her poor old father alone.

You wouldn't have to
be left along, Matt.

Oh no you don't, you scheming
female and your pitfalls.

You're a wanton women.

You don't catch me falling
into your clutches.

Have you no shame?

Well, you sprung your
trap, but I'm not in it.

Then I'll just have
to set my trap again.

Lovely night to go dancing.

Lovely night to dance with you.

Seems to me I hear music.

Is it music, or is it
my heart that's singing?

Time is right for romancing.

Starry light shines above.

Lovely night to go
dancing, but it's

a much better night
to fall in love.

You seem to be very happy.

I am happy.

Why not?

Yes, why not?

Thank you very much for a very
lovely evening, and good night.

Wait a minute, what's your hurry?

It's getting late.

Oh, it's only 12:30.

I don't know about you,
but I had a wonderful time.

I could see that you did?

Well, didn't you?

Yes.

Miss Radford is very charming.

Oh, Olivia, she's
wonderful Salt of the earth.

Oh?

As a matter of fact, I don't
know a finer girl in the world

than Olivia, except you.

It's very nice of you to say so.

Is something wrong, Pat?

No, nothing's wrong.

Nothing at all.

Oh, god.

Well, let's go out
again tomorrow night.

I have a previous engagement.

Well, how about the
next night, and we'll

go to the nickelodeon.

Well.

Well what?

Well, all right, only...

Only what?

Wouldn't you rather take Olivia.

Gosh, no.

Olivia's not exactly
the Nickelodeon type.

Well, of all the nerve.

Patricia O'Neill!

If you don't stop that

and come up to your bed,
I'll come down there

and take my fists
to that young welp.

Oh my gosh.

Good night.

Good night, Pat.

Have I told you lately I love you?

Hello, Lulu.

What are you doing out here?

Oh, I came out to watch the stars,

but I see they're in your eyes.

What'd you say?

Oh, I was just thinking
how wonderful it would

be to be young again, and
in love, and in trouble.

In trouble?

They're the same thing, you know.

Well, I'm not in
trouble, but I am in love.

Have you asked her yet?

Told her, you mean?

Well, no, you usually ask a
young lady to marry you, John.

Oh.

I didn't.

I mean, how could I?

I'm broke.

I couldn't afford it.

Two can live as cheaply
as one if they're in love

and if they live in my house.

Yeah, but I haven't
anything to offer.

I think she'd marry you

if she's in love, as you said.

That's all.

That's all that matters.

Yeah, well I don't
know, though, Lulu.

If I were you, I wouldn't let
any grass grow under my feet.

Somebody might beat you to it.

Now what if you're wrong?

My dear boy, I may always be
right, but I'm never wrong.

All right, I'll do it.

I'll ask her at the nickelodeon.

Good.

Good night, Cupid.

Johnny, is my bow and
arrow showing again?

Sure, whatever you say.

Eddie!

What's the matter?

What happened!

Jehoshaphat!

Go tell Pat.

Goodbye!

Lulu!

Whoo!

Good heaven and earth!

Hey!

Happy New Year!

Hey Steve!

Hey Johnny!

Hey Byron!

Oh, that's me!

Somebody!

Everybody!

Look!

Read!

Yahoo!

I got to go tell Tessie!

Johnny!

Johnny, I won.

What?

You are talking with
the Da Vinci of Lulu's.

The content.

Sure, I won the calendar contest.

Look at it $500.

Congratulations, Steve.

The rich are getting
richer all the time.

Just think of it.

My calendar girl will be
hanging all over the country.

You tell Pat yet?

Oh, I forgot.

That's her check.

Pat!

Here I am.

Hello, Johnny.

I just heard Isn't it wonderful?

You bet it is, and that's not all.

I'm going to introduce New
York to its new calendar girl...

Rector's, Churchill, Pastor's,
Delmonico's... we'll blaze

a lobster trail up
and down Broadway.

I've always wanted to go to
all those wonderful places.

Oh, oh...

What's the matter?

Oh, I'm sorry, Steve.

I forgot Johnny and I
have a date tonight.

What kind of a date?

What are you going to do?

Oh, wasn't anything.

We were just going
to the nickelodeon.

Those tintype flickers
will make you dizzy.

They're ruin your eyes.

Let's all go on the town
together, make it a threesome.

We ought to have a celebration.

Sure, how's about it John, boy?

Well, if Pat would rather.

I would.

Fine.

Then we'll start at 8.

Pop's on night-duty at the station

so we can really have a row.

Oh golly, I've got lots to do.

I'd better get ready.

Shall I dress up?

Of course.

You'll be the belle
of the town, Pat.

From now on you have
something to live up to.

You'll have your picture
in every house in the land.

Oh, and here's the check.

It's all yours.

A solid, silver, trumpet.

Gee, Pop will be thrilled.

See you later.

Are you ready my friend?

Gee, Steve, you look terrific.

Always terrific, son.

Always the epitome.

Let's roll.

Oh, wait a second.

I feel kind of... maybe I'm
not dressed well enough.

That's your best suit, isn't it?

Yeah, it's the only suit I got.

Well, that's all right, kid.

Let's go.

The carriage I ordered
is probably waiting.

I want to stop off and pick
up orchids for the lady.

Carriage?

You got orchids?

Nothing but the best
for Patricia tonight.

Steve, I'm not going.

What?

You two go ahead without me.

Oh, come on Johnny.

We can squeeze you
by the maitre d's.

We can take a corner table.

I'm not going.

You and Pat go and
have a fine time.

Well, what will I tell her?

Tell her... tell
her I had to wait.

I was expecting a
phone call or anything.

A phone call.

All right.

I'll tell her.

Steve.

Yeah?

Look Steve, don't ever
do anything to hurt her.

I never hurt 'em, kid.

I just stun 'em.

Oh, Lulu.

Johnny, are you all right?

Sure, I'm all right.

What's the matter?

Oh, I was just worried about you,

Well, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to keep you awake.

Well, that didn't matter.

Are you worrying about Pat?

Well, aren't you?

No, of course not.

You can't blame a girl
her age for wanting

the excitement, the glamor.

Doesn't mean a thing.

Well, it does to me.

Johnny, you trust Pat, don't you?

Of course I do, but
I don't trust Steve.

Go to bed and stop your fretting.

You're acting like a little boy.

Everything's going to
be all right, Johnny.

Believe me.

Good night, boy.

Good night, Lulu.

Thanks.

Water, water everywhere, but
not a drop of champagne left.

I just love champagne.

Don't you Steve?

Don't you just love champagne?

I just love you, Pat.

You and champagne.

Do you love me first
and champagne second,

or do you love champagne
second and me first?

That's not right.

Let's see.

Do you love cham...

You're wonderful Pat.

You kissed me.

No fair kissing a girl when she's

trying to find out
about me and champagne.

I just love champagne,
especially when I'm thirsty.

You know how I feel about you?

Do you love me first,
or do you love champagne?

I adore you.

That's fine.

That settles it.

Johnny doesn't adore me.

Johnny only adores
telephone calls from Boston.

Let's get away from all of this.

You've been every
place, haven't you Steve?

You've traveled
all over the place.

Yup.

Have you ever been
to Niagara Falls?

Why, angel eyes?

I always wanted to go to
Niagara Falls on my honeymoon.

Honeymoon?

What's it like, Steve?

What's Niagara Falls like?

As far as I'm concerned, it's just

a lot of water going over a cliff.

Is that so?

I want to go home.

No, no, no, no let's do the

No.

I said I want to go home, and
when I say I want to go home

I go... Stop pushing.

She wants to go home.

Here you are, my friend.

Thank you, sir.

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Tomorrow...

Johnny!
Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny!

What do you mean
staying out so late.

I ought to spank you.

Cut it out, Steve.

You've got a lot of nerve
keeping her out 'til this hour.

Look who's talking.

It's none of your business.

If your father was home, he's whip

the tar out of with a razor strap.

Wait a minute.

You can't talk to Pat like that.

That's right.

You can't talk to Pat like that.

I can't, huh?

Well, I happen to know...

Shut up.

You better run along
like a good boy.

Take your hands off me, Steve.

She's a big girl now.

She's old enough to
take care of herself.

I said take your hands off me.

Come on.

Johnny.

All right, Johnny, if
that's the way you feel.

That's the way I feel.

Good night, Pat.

Wait a minute.

Get away from me
and leave me alone.

I don't need you to help me.

You go help your old Olivia.

I can take care of myself, see?

You can take care of
yourself like a baby

when it comes to guys like Steve.

You're just jealous of Steve.

Pat, there's something
you've got to know.

You're jealous of his
painting and winning

the prize and everything.

You're wrong, Pat.

I'm not jealous of
anything except you.

Don't understand how
I feel about you?

You're it.

You're the one.

You're the only thing in my
life that means more to me

than even music.

And blimey.

Go tell it to Olivia.

Olivia?

What do you mean?

Olivia doesn't mean
anything to me.

Next thing you'll tell me
you don't even know her.

Of course I know her,
but only as a friend.

It's just that, well, Steve...

Oh, I see.

Now she's Steve's girl.

Well, she is Steve's girl.

You contemptible... get away
from me and leave me alone.

Get out of here.

Get out.

I never want to see you again.

Fine.

If that's the way
you want it, Pat.

Johnny.

Johnny.

Hey, Johnny!

Heya Butch!

Did you see the calendar girl?

No!

She hasn't much modesty, has she?

Perfectly shocking.

Some figure.

And she doesn't mind showing it.

What will women think of next?

Oh, that's me!

Hey, calendar girl!

Oh, you beautiful doll!

Mama buy me that.

Hey fellas, look.

It's the calendar girl.

Anytime you want to
get off that calendar,

I'll show you a real date.

Are there any more
at home like you?

I love my wife, but

The shameful thing shame of it.

O'Neill's daughter making a
public spectacle of yourself.

Oh, Pop, I didn't.

Posing like a hussy with
next to no clothes on.

I didn't.

I didn't pose like that at all.

Steve changed the picture
after it was finished.

Oh, it was Steve, was it?

Oh, Pop, I only did it so I could

win the prize money for you.

I wanted to get you this.

Well, well, Oh, that

was a sweet thing
for you to do, Patsy.

And I believe what you
did was done in innocence.

But as for that Steve fellow,
that double-crossing worthless

young no-good, preying
on a maiden's innocence,

I'll beat him
within an inch of his life.

Oh, Pop, please.

Pop don't do it.

Perfectly beautiful.

Beautiful.

What happened?

It's Pop.

He's on his way over here.

Why?

The calendar.

Calendar indeed.

How can he get excited
over a calendar

when he doesn't even
know what month it is.

He's going to beat up on Steve.

But why?

It's a perfectly
beautiful calendar.

It brings out your
personality charmingly.

Most charmingly, my dear.

That's why I'm here.

You know what I'm going to do?

Please, Lulu, help me.

I will dear.

Come on.

Tell Steve to hide.

I'll try to stop your father.

All right.

I must say, darling,
I was honestly

overwhelmed when I saw your art.

Didn't think I could do it, eh?

I'm the hottest thing on
canvas in this town right now.

On calendars you mean.

The time is up, you know Steve.

I expected you to return with me.

But if you'd rather paint...

Wait, Livvy I didn't say that.

Steve!

Hello.

Steve, you've got
to get out of here.

Why?

The painting, the calendar,
my father's on his way

up here to kill you.

What?

I couldn't help it, Steve,
his temper is out of control.

You've got to hide someplace.

You ought to work things
out better than that, Steve.

You've had enough
experience by now.

This isn't funny, Olivia.

You don't know my Pop.

Steve will be luck if he
can crawl out of here.

Matt.

Matthew O'Neill.

Turn yourself right around
and march away from my house.

Out of my way.

Have you seen that calendar.

I have, and it's beautiful.

It's a disgrace and shameful.

Now just a minute.

Don't get so personal.

Suppose it wasn't your daughter.

That's a beautiful picture.

You uncultured old baboon, you
don't know art when you see it.

It's a on me child, and she

posed within your house.

And I'm proud of it.

Are you just finding out
your daughter has legs?

About time some artist
did something about it.

Women do have legs, you know,
and they're very beautiful.

Woman, you don't

And you're blind.

You don't know beauty
when you see it.

Matthew, you get out of my house.

Woman step aside.

I'm going to murder him.

I'll call the police.

Well, call them.

I'm calling.

Eddie!

Hurry, hurry quick.

Go down into the kitchen.

Close the damper.

Make a lot of smoke down there.

Try to find something
to burn in the stove.

Yes, yes.

Don't say anything.

Here he comes.

Go back.

But there's no place
to hide in there.

You can always hid
behind my skirt.

Go ahead.

I'll see if I can stop him.

Please, Pop, you don't understand.

It takes very
little understanding.

Oh, wait a minute.
There'll only be trouble.

Trouble?

There may be murder.

Step aside.

Listen to me.

There's something
I have to tell you.

What is it?

We're engaged.

Bah.

Engaged?

You know, to be married.

What, you and Steve?

Yes.

Me funny little colleen, why
didn't you tell your old daddy?

You didn't give me time.

Well, well, what do you know.

Me little girly.

We thought you might be angry.

Me angry?

Now how silly.

Have you ever seen
me lose me temper.

Well, maybe it you is art.

You do kind of look like
your mother a little.

He's a talented fellow, Steve is.

And I always wanted a son.

Well, I'll have to congratulate
me prospective son-in-law.

Oh no, Pop.

Not now.

Now come along, you wouldn't have

him think we're snobs just
because we're from New York,

and he's only from Boston.

Now come along now.

Engaged is it?

Why yes, this is my
fiance Miss Radford.

What?

I'm afraid there must
be some sort of mix up.

Nothing to what
there's going to be.

Well.

Making a fool of me
daughter, taking advantage

of her ignorance, the picture,

teasing with her affections.

You see now what a snake
in the grass this snake

int the grass has
turned out to be.

Indeed I do.

I'm teaching him...

That's 24.

I'll take care of you later.

Don't get scared.

It's just a trick of Lulu's.

I want to talk to you.

Are you crazy trying
to kill us both?

Get out of here!

Don't try to save the day.

It's too late.

Don't you know the
house is burning?

Where's the fire?

Down in the kitchen.

Oh no, no, not again.

Hold your arms.

Hold everything!

Oh, that woman.

Let me out of here!

It's all right, Eddie.

Let me out of here!

Why'd you tell me
she was your cousin.

Cousin?

Oh really, Steve.

Isn't that going a bit too far?

I'm sorry, Pat.

You're sorry?

What have I done to Johnny?

You better get out of
here before Pop comes.

How can get out
without him seeing us?

Come on.

I'll show you.

This way, hurry up.

That, just go right
through my room and downstairs,

and I hope you'll be very happy.

Oh, thank you so very much, Pat.

This way to Boston, Steve.

Yes, Livvy.

Patricia, I have
wonderful news for you.

Yes?

No time to be crying.

I've decided to stage a musical
comedy... "Calendar Girl."

And the real calendar girl is
going to be in it, naturally.

Thank you.

And the score, Pat.

The score was written by a
brilliant, young composer.

I can hear it now... opening
night, curtain time.

The best people are
waiting in the audience.

Only the best people.

The orchestra tunes up.

The conductor mounts the
podium, takes out his baton,

and after an expectant hush...

I'm in love
with a calendar girl every

day of every month of every year.

I go around with
my head in a whirl

every time I see that
lovely page appear.

I'm who she'll
never know the joy she's giving.

I love her so.

She doesn't know I'm even living.

I'm in love, and I'm
living for her and longing

to be my girl on the calendar.

Have I told you lately I love you?

Johnny.

Have I told you lately I care?

I may be blinded by
all of your charms,

grow absentminded when
you're in my arms.

Have I told you
lately you thrill me?

Now then, you scallywag.

It's all right,
Pop, we're engaged.

Engaged, is it?

Will you make up your mind?

...love you?

If I haven't, I'm telling you now.